Chapter Nine:
Buffy looked around in concern at the lone occupant of the Angel Investigation office. She had been there for two days and neither Angel nor Wesley would speak to her. They would respond to her questions in monosyllables, if at all.
Buffy had come to LA, after Angel had stopped returning any of their calls from Sunnydale. Giles had received the news of Cordelia’s death over three months ago. Buffy remembered the shock that she, Xander and Willow felt at the news.
They never thought that she would die. They never imagined that their Cordelia of Sunnydale High fame would ever put herself in a situation where there was a real chance of being hurt, much less die. Buffy wouldn’t listen to Willow, when the witch had said Cordelia had changed.
All Buffy and Xander would remember was how Cordelia was before she became a part of the Scooby Gang and then afterwards as she reverted to her old Queen C Bitchy ways. They had conveniently forgotten about the times that she had helped them and put herself in danger, complaining all the way.
They had misjudged her, and now she was dead. Xander had taken the news hard. He had driven up to LA, almost immediately upon hearing the news. He returned shortly afterwards. Xander never said what had occurred between he and Angel. But Xander returned with his old hatred of the vampire, blaming Angel and Wesley for Cordelia’s death.
Buffy didn’t blame Angel, though. She knew that Cordelia’s death would just increase her first love’s feelings of guilt. So she attempted to call him, to talk to him. But the few conversations that they had, had been brief.
And soon, Angel wasn’t even answering her calls. Buffy had been worried, so after first talking to Riley, she decided to go to LA and force Angel to talk.
“Angel, please talk to me,” she begged the silent vampire. She knelt down in front of him, and grabbed his hand. She was shocked at how he flinched at her touch, growling. That was the last time she tried to touch him. But she continued to try to get him to talk.
“Angel, it wasn’t your fault. You can’t save everybody, you taught me that.” Buffy stepped back as his vampire visage flickered on his face.
“It wasn’t just anyone, it was Cordelia. I promised to protect her, always. I failed.”
Buffy felt shocked again, at the intensity of the pain in his voice.
“You loved her,” she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes.
“I…I need her,” he whispered as he left Buffy standing in the middle of the room.
And now Buffy was standing before Wesley, trying to talk to him before she went home.
“Wesley, Angel is not well,” she tried again.
“None of us are, Buffy,” the ex-watcher said softly, to his former slayer.
Buffy had known that they both cared for Cordelia, she just hadn’t realized how much, none of the Sunnydale group had realized.
“Just go, Buffy,” Wesley said looking up to the blonde slayer.
“But…”
“You can’t help us, you can’t help Angel.”
Buffy shook her head in sadness, trying to stop the tears from falling.
“Buffy, I won’t let him do anything stupid, ok,” the former watcher said gently to the girl.
“Okay, take care,” she cried, impulsively hugging her ex-watcher.
“I will try”, he said with a sad smile.
Chapter Ten:
Cordelia woke up screaming, a sharp pain had sliced into her unconscious mind, followed by a string of vivid imagines. Duncan came running into her bedroom. Mac held her until she stopped trembling.
“Carol, shh…I am here. You are safe,” he whispered into her hair.
Cordelia almost felt safe. His strong arms around her, stroking her hair, his soft words promising that she was safe. It almost felt familiar. But it wasn’t right. The sense of wrongness caused her to jerk out of his arms and push him away.
Thankfully, she thought, Mac hadn’t been offended.
“I am here, if you need me,” he said from the side of the bed.
“I know”, she smiled gratefully.
“Maybe, it’s your subconscious trying to remember, ” he said quietly as he got up.
“I hope not,” she bitterly laughed. “I can sleep now.”
“Goodnight, then.”
“Duncan,” she called after the retreating immortal. “Thank you”.
“My pleasure,” he said softly. Duncan then realized that holding Carol was indeed his pleasure.
Cordelia watched the older immortal leave. She was glad that she hadn’t hurt him, by pushing him away. She had wanted to be comforted and had begun to feel so, when a feeling of wrongness had come over her. She tried to shrug off that feeling.
Duncan was a very handsome and caring man, who wanted to help her. She was a fool, she thought, she should grab on to him and never let him go. Oh, well.
She thought back to his suggestion that her dreams were memories, trying to surface. She still hadn’t told Duncan about the contents of her dreams. She, damn well, hoped that they were not memories.
Cordelia tried to concentrate on the last dream. It started out non-scary enough. The sexy vampire was in it. He didn’t scare her. She actually had begun to look forward to seeing him, especially when he looked at her in a certain way.
Whoa, she stopped herself; a dream vamp that leered was turning her on. God, she was nuts, she groaned.
She forced herself to remember the other part of her dream, the scary part. The vamp was in that part to, but he wasn’t looking at all sexy. No, he was looking pretty bad; he had been fighting a big, scaly demon and losing.
The demon had forced him to the ground, beating the vamp with its spiky fists. She felt a tremendous need to go save the vampire. Stranger yet, she had known in her dream where to go. It seemed so real.
That is impossible, she thought. There were no such things as monsters, demons, vampires and other bad things that go bump in the night. Still a small voice in the back of her mind, countered with ‘who would have thought someone could live forever’.
Cordelia sunk back down in the bed and tried to go to sleep. Cordelia felt her mind drift off, when another sharp pain struck. It wasn’t as painful as the previous feeling, but she definitely felt it. She waited for the images to come.
This one was different from all the rest. She was in a small torch lit chamber. Cordelia looked around waiting for the appearance of a monster, but what she saw made her giggle not scream. Standing before her were two of the most ridiculous being she had ever seen. One was male, the other female.
They were gold, dressed in white sheets with weird metallic blue designs painted on their bodies. Cordelia stopped giggling at their stern look.
“Sister, she is not worthy of her destiny,” said the male.
“You are most likely right, brother, but the warrior needs her, he has been alone too long,” the woman answered. Then she turned to Cordelia. “You are a fool, you cannot continue to ignore your destiny. Go to the warrior, save him.”
“What?…”
“GO,” they both admonished, then disappeared, along with the chamber. Cordelia looked around; she was again on the street, where she had dreamed of the battle between the vampire and the demon. But this time, it was daytime. She knew somehow that the battle would take place tomorrow night and in LA.
She looked up at the corner and saw the street signs. Suddenly, the images disappeared. Cordelia stared at the wall of the bedroom, trying to digest what the beings had said. It didn’t make any sense; she knew that such beings, gold-ones or fanged ones didn’t exist. But she also knew she had to go to LA.
She started to get dressed. She thought about waking up Duncan, but he would think she was crazy and just try to convince her to stay. She quietly got her long jacket and sword. Cordelia stared at Duncan’s car keys for a moment and decided what the hell and hoped he wouldn’t be too angry.
She would need his car, if she was to get to California in time.
Chapter Eleven:
Wesley looked up from his book when Angel came into the office. Angel didn’t say anything as he took off his black leather trench coat. Wesley saw him cringe as he walked past Cordelia’s empty desk.
It had been almost four months, and they both still felt the loss of her presence. They had slowly gotten into a new routine. It wasn’t really much of one. Angel would go patrolling and kill as many demons or vampires that he could find.
For the most part, Wesley stayed behind researching the texts for where more demons could be found. Sometimes, when the former watcher felt the need for some violence he would go with Angel. It seemed that since Cordelia’s death, Wesley had developed more of a need to hit things.
Wesley was no longer worried that Angel would stake himself or walk off into the sun. Angel seemed to accept that he would live without Cordelia. But the lightness that he had developed in Cordelia’s presence had faded until it totally disappeared.
The only emotion that Angel would show was during battles. It was then, that Wesley could see the rage that simmered beneath his surface. But Wesley didn’t mind, as long as the vampire kept living. The former knew that he needed Angel to remain alive; he couldn’t lose both Angel and Cordelia.
He couldn’t lose all of his family. His family was broken and without it’s heart, but it was still all he had.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Angel’s voice. He was surprised to hear it, Angel didn’t say much anymore.
“What’s that? Sorry,” stuttered Wesley
“The Guta demon was seen again on West Street.”
“Unusual, for it to return to the same place.”
“Maybe, but it is right between the liquor store and the homeless shelter. It does offer the best stop for the shelter’s residents to sleep off their dinner.”
“True, so what’s the plan?” asked the watcher.
“I’ll go at sundown and wait, if it comes, I’ll kill it. If it doesn’t, I will go back the next night, then kill it. Though, you should stay and map out any other possible feeding grounds,” said Angel
“Sounds like a plan.” With that decided, both men returned to silence. At sundown, Angel got his coat and prepared to leave.
“Be careful.”
Angel grunted and left the office.
Chapter Twelve:
Cordelia reached LA a couple of hours before sundown. She found West Street without any problem. It was strange how she knew how to get there. But she had died in LA, so maybe she had been there before.
Gross, she thought, she hoped that she hadn’t hung around this dirty, smelly alley. But then again, she probably hadn’t been the most respectable citizen in her first life.
After all, she reasoned dryly, most respectable people don’t end up wrapped in a sheet and chains, then dumped in the water to drown.
Cordelia looked around to find a semi-clean, out of sight place to sit and wait. Jeez this is stupid, she said to herself. During the drive from Seattle, her feelings of urgency to get to LA had faded somewhat. And her commonsense kept telling her that there were no such things as vampires and demons; she was just being foolish.
She started at a sound coming from the other side of the alley. She hadn’t even noticed that the sun had gone down. She peered in the darkness and wasn’t all that surprised to see a bum going through a dumpster. Still she had better pay attention; she hadn’t even heard the bum approach.
Cordelia saw another bum stumble up to the dumpster. She heard the first one grumble something and push him aside. Guess he doesn’t want to share, she thought to herself. This is so not fun. Cordelia was getting bored watching the bum look for his dinner, when she noticed a big, bulky shadow being cast by the dim street light.
The shape was going towards the bum. Before she could even draw her sword, she saw a figure fly out of the darkness to tackle the shadow. She gasped as she saw the participants better as the fight moved into the light.
It was the big, scaly monster and the vampire from her dream. Oh shit, she said to herself, drawing her sword. Cordelia ran over to where the bum was and shoved him towards the street, then turned back to the battle.
She watched as the vampire, yep, she thought, it is a vampire, a vampire with fangs and everything attack the demon. Yep, she continued to think, a demon, a big ugly scaly monster with spikes on its fists. And it looked like the vampire was taking quite a beating from those objects. Well, she guessed that this is where she should come in, moving closer.
“Hey, you, you big nasty thing, yeah you porcupine fist…That’s right over here. Come on, I don’t want the vamp to have all the fun,” she heckled to the demon. The demon looked up from the fallen vampire and moved towards the girl.
He lunged at her with his fist. Cordelia blocked the blow with her sword. She attacked lunging and striking at the monster with her blade. The blade was bouncing off the creature without causing any damage. The scales were acting as some sort of armor.
And the demon was too tall for her to reach up a swipe his head.
“Hey, you vampguy, is there any chink to this big ugly guy’s armor, or what?” she yelled to the vampire who had gotten up and was just staring at the fight. “Yoa, fang-guy, I am talking to you, how in the hell do I kill…Damn it,” she cried rolling to duck a blow that had gotten past her sword.
“Ow” she cried as one of the spikes sliced her shoulder. Her cry of pain seemed to snap the vampire out of his stupor.
“It is weakest at his joints”
“Joints; got you.” Swinging her sword at where she thought it’s kneecap would be. She was rewarded with the demon’s howl of pain as it tumbled to the ground. She raised her sword to take the demon’s head.
“Ewww,” she whined in disgust as green goo spurted from the creature’s neck.
“Do they all do that? That was gross…. What was that?” she complained to the approaching vampire.
“Cordelia?” the vampire whispered.
“Cordelia? What kind of name is that for a monster? That’s a girl’s name. Hey, I kind of like it. I wish I had thought of it…. Hey, stop right there, fang-boy,” she said as Angel moved to touch her.
Angel stopped and looked at the sword pointed at his neck and then at the young woman holding it so confidently. “I imagine decapitation will kill even a vampire, so just stay right there,” she said staring at the vampire of her dreams. His human face was now firmly in place. God he was sexy, she thought, but a little dim judging from the expression on his face.
“It’s a type of guta demon, Cordelia is your name,” he said softly, looking at her shoulder for any sign of injury. “You were hurt.”
“Just a scratch it will be better soon, real soon…. see all better. Hey, I said stay where you are…. anyway, my name is Carol…Caroline, well at least…. actually, maybe it’s not,” she said more to herself than to him. She said louder, “Do I know you?”
“Yes, it’s me Angel, don’t you remember?”
“Well, truthfully, I don’t remember much. .. I know a vampire, really?”
“We are friends, best friends,” Angel said staring at the beautiful young woman.
Oh damn, she thought, he is looking at her like he did in the dreams. “Stop, looking at me like that you are making me…nervous,” she said. Shit, she had been about to say turned on. Cordelia took a couple of breaths and lowered her sword. Angel noticed her actions, but did not move any closer.
“Friends, uh. Jees, how much weirder is my life going to get. I don’t believe vampires exist or well, I didn’t up to about 20 minutes ago. So your name is Angel. What’s my full name?”
“Cordelia Chase and we are friends. We work together, along with Wesley.”
“Vampires work? Is Wesley a ‘grrr’ guy, too?”
Angel chuckled at the familiar nickname. “No he is totally human, a former rogue demon hunter. Who now works with us at Angel Investigations, a sort of detective agency.”
Angel watched her face scrunch up in that familiar way. One that he had grown to love over the last year and had missed terribly over the past few months. He needed to feel her in his arms.
With a quickness that left Cordelia breathless, he took the sword from her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. Angel marveled at how good she felt in his arms. He could feel her heart beating against his chest, and her breath on his neck.
She was alive, his soul rejoiced. He sniffed in her scent, her unique scent, which…he glanced up questioningly…. was not quite the same. He looked to the ripped coat. There was some blood, but when he looked closer he saw that there was no cut.
“What happened to you?” he asked softly, as he loosened his hold.
Cordelia moaned at his withdrawal. She didn’t want to lose his embrace, it felt so right. Oh god, she thought, jumping back in alarm. “How exactly are we good friends… I mean we are not…. I mean do vampires even…. Oh damn” she trailed off nervously.
Angel stared in confusion at her rambling. His eyes widen in sudden comprehension, she was asking if they were lovers. For a brief moment, the vampire considered saying yes. He shook the thought out of his head. It would be pretty obvious that they weren’t, when he couldn’t make love to her.
For the first time, Angel allowed himself to think of what it would be like to make love to Cordelia. Nope, he could never make love to her, nope; Angelus would be out in a second, if that were to happen. Angel looked at the girl standing before him waiting for an answer.
“We are JUST good friends.”
“Oh, good then.” Not knowing why she suddenly felt disappointed.
“So, Angel now what? I mean I did what those ridiculous golden pair wanted me to do, now what do I do? I mean do I go back to Seattle?”
“NO” he growled. She jumped not in fear, but surprise at his game face that appeared briefly.
“Hey, don’t do that.” Swatting at his arm.
“Sorry…. You are coming home with me now,” he said forcibly.
“I don’t remember home,” she whispered..
“You will, I promise.” Taking a hold of her arm and leading her out of the alley.
“Hey, vamp-guy, I want my sword back.” Pointing to the weapon in Angel’s hand. He looked at the weapon more closely. A master had crafted the sword and it was older than he was.
“Where did you get this?”
“It was a gift,” was all she said as she quickly concealed the weapon. “Okay, ready.”
Angel just nodded and led her to his car.
“Wait, I can’t go with you.”
Any doubts that Angel might have had about whether this was really Cordelia evaporated. Only Cordelia could make him want to hold her then strangle her in such a short span of time.
“Cordelia,” he warned.
“Wow, I can’t get use to the name, but I like it… Hey, don’t go all ‘grrr’. What I meant was I can’t ride with you. I took Duncan’s car down here; I can’t just leave it. He loves that car. You know it looks a lot like this one… How old are you?”
“What?” Angel responded, totally confused and wondering who the hell Duncan was.
“How old?” She repeated, emphasizing each word with a jab to his chest.
“244.”
“Figures you would be an old guy, too. I mean is there some sort of rule, that old, handsome, do-gooders, have to have old clunkers with no top?”
“This is a classic,” Angel protested.
“Right, that’s what Duncan says, too.”
Angel growled again at the mention of the man’s name.
“Hey, I said no going ‘grrr’, unless…. Is there an ugly monster somewhere?” She asked looking around.
“No,” Angel growled.
“Well then, stop.” Swatting him again. Angel just knew that he was going to strangle her.
“The car is over there.”
“Cordelia, I don’t want you to go alone.”
Cordelia looked in amazement at the expression of pain and need on the vampire’s handsome face.
“It hurt you when I died?’
“Yes.” Angel put all of his feelings of rage, pain and despair in that one small word.
Cordelia cringed at the force of the emotions. “I am sorry,” she whispered tears forming in her eyes. “But, I will be all right…Just don’t lose me, okay?” She added with a slight smile.
“Never, Never again,” he promised forcibly.
Cordelia stared at the vampire, trying to remember what he was to her, exactly. Who was this creature, that made her bones turn to jelly when he looked at her. She backed away and shot him her best big Cordy smile and headed to her car.
Angel wanted to hold her again.
