One Tequila, Two Tequila… 2

Part 2“Three Tequila, Four Tequila, Five Tequila…”

“No really, I was shtuck in a WHOOOLLLLEEEE big other dimension thingy!” Said Fred, giggling as she waved her arms to encompass the size of the ‘whole’ she meant.

“So, we’ve established it was big then?” Said Anya, grinning at Cordelia, Willow and Buffy.

“Fred?” Said Cordelia softly, “I think you’ve had a little TOO much to drink…”

“Pssshhtt, naw! I can handle my drink!” Said Fred, having knocked back a series of Tequila Slammers. “Okay, so I’ve mightn’t have had much in the ways of practish but…”

Fred burped, giggled and promptly slid from the seat she inhabited to the floor. “Ouchee…ma butt…”

Cordelia couldn’t help but laugh. “Fred, you’re such a dork!” The awkwardness of before had been forgotten about, at least on Cordelia’s part anyway and they’d been having a great time.

Anya was *very* pleased with her hat. Buffy and Willow had stuck a learner driver plate on her hat along with a mock veil and various shapes and sizes of coloured and non-coloured condoms.

Dangling from her wrist were a pair of handcuffs, pink fluffy ones…to which Anya had exclaimed, “Ooh! Xander has a pair just like it!” Eliciting giggles from the rest of the group.

“I don’t want to know about Xander’s sexual habits, thank you.” Said Cordelia, laughing.

“Oh please…don’t pretend like you’re not jealous!” Said Anya, shaking her head, “You totally want him!”

Cordelia almost spat out her drink, “What is it with people thinking I’m hung up on Xander?” She asked. “Angel was the same before we…”

“Jealous! Angel was the jealous one!” Laughed Fred, “And Wesley…he’s just a big ol’ sweetie…”

“Hung up on WESLEY?” Asked Willow, “This just can’t get more disturbing…”

“Well, excuse me Miss ‘I Think I’ll Be A Lesbian Now’…” Snapped Cordelia, immediately rising to the defence of her friend.

“Talk about disturbing…I mean, one minute you’re all lusting after a guy and then next your requirements have changed to anything without a penis?”

Willow blushed profusely but then the entire gang started to laugh as Fred squeaked, “You bat for the home team?”

“Uh…I don’t think you’re supposed to say that to a girl.” Said Buffy, grinning.

“I thought I was tactless.” Said Anya, shaking her head and grinning.

“You are!” Said Willow, laughing, “I’ve never known anyone talk as much about orgasms as you and…” She looked up, something catching her eye, “Buffy, vampire.”

The Slayer’s head snapped up and she blushed, “It’s only Spike…it’s not like he can harm anyone…”

“‘Ello girls… *SLAYER*…” Said the peroxide vampire pointedly, “And ‘ow’s things in this corner of the Bronze.”

“Spike…this is a GIRL’S night…no guys allowed, do you *remember* the concept?” Asked Buffy, sarcastically. “How did you get in anyway?”

“Showed muh teeth to the guy on the door…thought it was scary.” Said the neutered vampire, proudly. “See, still some of the big bad left…but you know that better than anyone, right slayer?”

Buffy’s cheeks flamed and she glared at the blonde vampire, “Spike…bite me…”

The other girls watched as sexual tension crackled in the air, Spike sidling up to Buffy and whispering, “Been there, done that luv…”

Buffy whirled round to whack him but Spike caught her wrist, “Now now slayer…” He chastised, grinning, then, his face slid into a genuine smile, “Want to dance, pet?”

The tenderness in his eyes had Cordelia, Willow and Anya almost salivating whereas Fred giggled, “Nice monster…” She picked herself up off the floor and stood next to Spike, sniffing him.

Spike’s eyes widened, “Uh…what’s she?” He asked, puzzled.

Cordelia yanked Fred from the ever-grinning Spike who was sort of liking having the women’s undivided attention, “She’s human…”

“Yes, just strange.” Said Anya, nodding emphatically.

“Pot calling the kettle black…” Murmured Willow, rolling her eyes and watching as Spike led Buffy out onto the dancefloor…WILLINGLY!

“I wanna dance!” Fred jumped up and went over to the dance floor, swaying her hips (what she thought was seductively) on the dancefloor next to a three foot stud (no, not a horse) by the name of Jonathon.

Willow gasped, “Uh…Cordelia, we need to save Fred…”

The three girls got up, sashaying towards Fred, in time to hear her say, “But…you’re lovely…you’re so sweet and you make my head feel kinda fuzzy and it’s nice. You make me get these feelings somewhere I shouldn’t really get them and…”

Cordelia yelped, pulling Fred away from an embarrassed Jonathon, “You do *not* love him.” Said Cordelia pointedly.

Jonathon looked up at Cordelia Chase, she was different from High School, “No…she doesn’t.” He said simply, “It’s my aftershave she loves…”

Cordelia groaned, “Fred!”


“Hurry!” Barked Angel at Gunn, glaring at the younger man.

“English, if you don’t tell him to stop criticising my driving I’m gonna turn round and go right back to LA…” Bit back Gunn, shaking his head.

“As fascinating as this is, Children…” Said Lorne, “I have to pee…” The green demon frowned as Angel told him unequivocally to ‘hold it’.

“As much as my penis is certainly a friend, I don’t feel comfortable ‘holding it’ in front of others.” Said Lorne, “STOP the car. Besides, your son’s gonna want something to drink and you can’t deprive him…”

Knowing he was right, Angel frowned, “Okay…next gas station, we stop…”

“Geez…” Said Gunn, “Angel, you gotta calm down…Cordy’s gonna be fine…”

“Did you hear what he said?” Asked Angel, “GREEN-EYED demon…not fun. How many green eyed demons are there?”

Lorne sighed, “From where I’m sitting, I can see only one.” He said cryptically.

Had Angel not been sprinting into the Gas Station, he would have caught that last comment…however, Gunn and Wesley both caught the comment and looked at the Anagogic Demon, puzzled.

“You mean…Angel’s jealousy is the…demon?” They asked.

“In all kindsa ways…” Said Lorne with a slight smile, “Let’s just say, you’ve gotta be cruel to be kind…”

Part 3

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