Part 22
Cordelia stretched trying to figure out where she was without opening her eyes. She felt comfortable and safe, she didn’t want to wake up completely and find out she was wrong.
She tentatively moved her hand reaching out, patting the hard muscled flesh that surrounded her, she snuggled in closer, her hand no longer patting but caressing. She knew where she was and why she felt safe.
“Hi,”she said to the dark eyes that were boring into her. “Did you get any sleep or did you brood and stare all night?” she asked teasingly.
“Yes.” Angel answered seriously, leaning into kiss the young woman. Cordelia signed into Angel’s lips holding him close. She moved slightly, finally pulling away to catch her breath. “Yes, you slept or yes you stared?”
“Yes.” Angel smiled pulling Cordelia with him to a seated position.
“Did you sleep at all?” Cordelia questioned.
“I slept.” Angel reassured the worry in the scolding tone. For the first time since being placed in the metal box, he had really slept though not for as long as his body needed. He had fallen asleep to gentle breaths and heartbeats, only to awake when fear began to encroach upon his sleep, fear that the soft sounds and warmth were just a dream.
So, Angel remained awake the rest of the night staring at the beautiful woman giving his mind the evidence it needed to rest. His body would just have to wait a little longer for its reprise. But, it was okay. Angel felt stronger. The persistent need of his demon to act for its survival had lessened. Angel didn’t feel as hungry and the instinct to kill was more controllable.
“Good.” She cuddled in closer. “Angel,” she said her lips pressing against his neck, creating small puffs of breaths as she kissed and spoke.
“Mmm,” Angel continued to stroke at the silk of Cordelia’s hair as his hand skimmed along her back, his fingers dancing up finding the pathway to her skin hidden by her T-shirt. Angel needed more. His palm quickly followed the path of his fingers, widening and encompassing as much flesh as it could.
“Once we’re done with my plan the next thing to do on our things to do list is find a way to keep your soul safe and sound where it should be.” She murmured trailing her lips to his.
“Yes,” he murmured as he tasted what she offered, savoring every movement and flavor. His lips and hands rejoiced at the warmth that was being given to him. The need to explore and taste every inch of that warmth pounded throughout his body and vibrated painfully in his groin. With each touch and gasp of breath, Cordelia was igniting a burning need to have it all.
Sexual desire was not foreign to Angel but the intensity of this burgeoning need was. He wanted to get lost in the body that felt so perfect in his arm; it was a desire that was transforming into a demanding compulsion and that scared him. Angel’s hand slowed in its descent downward in its instinctive need to reach Cordelia’s inner heat. The warnings of his mind fought against the desire of his heart and urge of his body.
Angel stilled forcing his reason to take control. Angel gently moved his hand still caressing but away from the temptation. Once touched, he would have to taste and once tasted, he was afraid that he would forget what he was and why he couldn’t have it all. Angel had known that the curse would put limitations on any physical intimacies between he and Cordelia; he just hadn’t realized that his own desires would limit them even further.
Angel pulled slightly away, his hands coming up to cradle her face. His eyes fixed on the darting pinkness that wetted Cordelia’s lips and the desire that clouded her eyes.
Angel stared struggling with his frustration at stopping and his bitterness at the unfairness of it all. He should at least be allowed to give Cordelia pleasure, give her more than just kisses to express his love. But pleasuring her, touching and tasting her wasn’t a slippery slope that he thought he could travel. The possible risk was too great.
“Angel,” Cordelia murmured puzzled at Angel’s intense gaze.
Angel smiled, pushing aside his thoughts not wanting to burden Cordelia with the intensity of them. “Keep this up and will have to move it to the top of the list.” He said teasingly, happy to see a return smile on Cordelia’s lips. Angel gently adjusted Cordelia off his lap.
Cordelia sighed and scooted a bit further from the vampire. “Yeah, the plan does need to come first.”
“And what is this plan?” Angel asked. The need to get lost in her body was still present Angel had the suspicion that it would never fully go away not as long as she was alive and he could see her and touch her, but the tingling warning that his desire could become uncontrollable was fading.
Angel would just have to live with the constant ache, it would be okay because it would be a reminder that they did love each other and that it was real. A frown flitted over his features; he could deal with it, but could Cordelia, why would she want to? She definitely didn’t deserve it.
Cordelia wrinkled her brow at the new expression on Angel’s face. “What is it?”
“What?” Angel said shaken out of his thoughts.
“That broody frown that just appeared out of nowhere. Why? You haven’t even heard my plan.”
“It’s nothing.”
“Angel, don’t avoid tell me.”
Angel wanted to run or at least hide under the bedcovers at her glare. “I…we can’t make love.”
Cordelia blinked. “Ah, duh. That’s why the soul issue is at the top of the list once this is all over.”
“Cordy, there may never be a solution. I love you so much. I….You aren’t some one that I can just have sex with or even…”
“Of course I’m not one of your chippies. No more chippies by the way.”
“What? Of course not, I haven’t…” He stopped at Cordelia’s arched brow.
“Darla was different. But still no joy, I mean the reason….”
“Angel, let’s not rehash the ‘Darla’ incident, that’s been done to death, literally and figuratively, I’m just clarifying the chippies -none. Okay, am I clear?” Arching her brows again.
Angel shook his head. “You don’t understand, my soul….”
“You’re right, I don’t understand. The ‘happy clause’ isn’t some big secret that you been lying to me about and have to come clean about. Remember, I was there when everybody found out. It was all over Sunnydale in leather pants and bodies. Not a secret. So why are you acting like it such a big deal.”
“Why aren’t you acting like it is. How can you want to be in love with someone that you can’t make love too? You are a young, beautiful, vibrant woman. I can’t expect….”
“Hold on, are trying to break up with me?” Cordelia pushed at Angel.
“I…”
“You are, you are about to do the ‘whole Cordy doesn’t deserve this, she deserves a normal life a normal relationship. Forgetting of course, I kind of loss ‘normal’ rights when I kept the visions and got demon DNA. You’re about to break up with me for my own good, aren’t you? Who do you want to leave, me or you?” Cordelia waved away her last question. “I’m not leaving my family, so I guess that means you, uh, buster.”
“I…” Angel stopped. He hadn’t thought it through that far- a life without Cordelia, leaving her, her leaving him, him being alone. It couldn’t happen. “No,” he said forcibly, he couldn’t leave her like he left Buffy, even for her own good, he needed Cordelia too much.
“Good.” Cordelia studied the vampire. Issues still were making his brow all broody. She took a deep breath. “Angel, the sex thing isn’t a deal breaker, so what that we can’t make love, we’ll figure it out, and for now will just have to settle for less that’s all.”
“Cordy, you’re going to have to settle for a whole helluva lot less than just less, more than I thought.” Angel brushed at his hair in frustration.
The lovely brunette scrunched up her nose trying to understand why Angel was so agitated. “More lessage? We can kiss, right?”
Angel jerked his head away and after a moment of thought he nodded.
Cordelia settled back on the bed studying Angel preparing to pull it out of him tooth by fang. “Can I see you naked?”
Angel looked up. “Uh.”
“Well, can I?”
Angel thought about. He wasn’t modest. That wasn’t a big deal.
“Can you see me naked?”
The idea of Cordy seeing him nude flew out of his mind replaced by the beautiful naked form of Cordelia. Angel gulped and considered, trying to think over his inner voice that was screaming yes, yes, god please,yes. Once he was sure that his decision was not based on that lust driven voice Angel finally nodded.
Cordelia smiled. “So far so good. Okay, can you touch me?”
“Naked?” Angel’s voice rose to an unnaturally high level.
“Yeah.” Cordelia said.
The voice in his head was getting louder as he pictured Cordelia laid out nude open to his touch. Again he tried to ignore it and think clearly but it was getting more difficult. She was getting into dangerous territory. “Maybe” He slowly nodded half hoping and half dreading that Cordelia would ask him to prove it.
“Okay, we’re kissing, I’m naked and your naked and you’re touching me. So, can I touch you?”
“Wait, stop.” Angel jumped off the bed away from the young woman. Flashes of he and Cordelia naked their bodies entangled as their mouths and hands explored.
“You didn’t say that we were kissing, touching and naked at the same time, you didn’t.” He shook his head trying to stop the imagines that were so breathtaking that it silenced his inner voice in awe. “NO.” Angel shook his head beating down the urge to make those images real.
Cordelia straightened still remaining seated on the bed. “So, no mutual nakedness or touching or kissing. Okay, one of us will just have to take turns keeping their clothes on.”
Angel jerked stopping in mid-pace trying frantically to rid himself of the new imagines and the inner voice telling him in a very reasonable voice that clothes were a barrier, it would be okay. The voice didn’t sound like Angelus, too whiny and desperate, but Angel wasn’t so sure anymore.
“No.” He needed to jump into an ice-covered river or kill something -quick.
Cordelia leaned back, this was getting kind of fun but maybe she shouldn’t torture him so, after all she did love him. Still, he brought their limitations up and now she wanted to know and she couldn’t help smile, Angel wasn’t acting all broody- now he was frantic, which was better than him leaving her because of some stupid nobility. Still should she or shouldn’t she.
Why not? And she did need to know. “So, oral sex is in or is it out? I mean the former president said it didn’t count- what does the curse say?”
Angel stood still, his body vibrating with the new imagines that Cordelia’s words invoked. His face embedded in her heat, her taste rolling down his throat, her mouth with those teasing lips encasing him giving him warmth. Angel stepped back, the inner voice again was silenced but not by awe this time, just by Angel’s own body crying out in a pounding need.
“This conversation is OVER.” He practically ran out of the room and into the cold shower that could give him some peace.
Cordelia wrapped her arms around her knees resting her head staring at the bathroom door. She really shouldn’t have said that last part. She probably should go apologize but the vampire would probably jump out the window if she went in there. But she couldn’t help the satisfied smile dancing on her lips.
Angel really loved and wanted her. Buffy, Darla, chippies be damned, he loved and wanted her, Cordelia Chase -alot. Cordelia scrunched up her face; maybe evil Polly did awaken some of her more bitchy qualities. Nay, Cordelia shook her head at that unease. Cordelia had been jealous of all of those other woman, she just hadn’t realized how much or why.
She had the right to gloat for a minute. So, while listening to the water splattering against the porcelain, Cordy sang the childish ditty of nay nay boo boo in her head to all chippies and blondes, she got the dark gorgeous wonderful man, okay so what he was a vampire, she got him. She looked up as the water turned off. Former jealousies went away, Angel loved her, she believed him and she was damn happy.
Angel stepped out of the bathroom a towel wrapped around his waist, his erection and pounding now in a manageable state. He looked up at the frank love and desire in Cordelia’s eyes and turned sharply around and went back into the bathroom.
“Angel. I’ll be good.” Cordy jumped off the bed.
“Get me my clothes.”
“Angel, this is stupid, I’ve seen you in a towel like a hundred times and didn’t rip it off, might’ve wanted to but didn’t.” Cordelia called through the door.
Angel struggled, what was that fantasy number 52, Cordy rips his towel off? He shook his head from behind the door. “MY CLOTHES.”
“Pfft, now you’re being silly.” Cordelia stomped over to Angel’s closet starting to yank at the first piece of clothing she could reach then paused. She scanned the contents closer, pushing and considering each garment.
“Cordy.” Angel yelled from the bathroom.
“I’m trying to find that plaid shirt I got you.” She yelled back.
Angel burst out of the bathroom. “I’ve never owned a plaid shirt and never will, ever.”
“Duh.” Cordelia beamed holding out a dark gray sweater and black pants.
Angel glared dropping his towel and shoved his legs into his favorite pants.
Cordelia sat back on the bed trying to get a better glimpse of Angel’s ass.
“Stop that.” Angel snapped pulling on his sweater.
“Angel, I’m not going to jump you, okay. Come on sit.”
Angel winced as the image of Cordelia throwing her amazing nude body at him. Okay, she hadn’t said nude but she had been nude in fantasy number 12, 18, 45 and…OH, shit. Angel gulped, as the throbbing in his groin got harder.
He might’ve gotten out of the shower too soon. He moved a little way from the young woman. “Please, stop with the descriptive stuff, please.”
Cordelia scrunched up her face. “All I said was….”
“Stop, please.” Angel whispered painfully.
“Okay. But Angel,”
“Cordy,” Angel said trying at a calmer tone. “You jumping me isn’t the problem.” He took a breath. “I love you and want you so badly, all you have to do is be there. Sometimes, I turn my head and you smile at me only me and I get almost too happy then.
“Wow.” A great wide smile started to appear over her face. Her eyes widened and she shot her hand up to her mouth.
“Yeah, wow.” Angel said, gently pulling her hand away. “Don’t ever stop smiling for me, please. I couldn’t handle that.”
Cordelia bit her lip and nodded. Cordelia gazed up at the vampire. “Angel, sit.” Cordy beckoned.
The vampire began to look wary but sat lust fears aside, he couldn’t resist her call.
“Angel, I get that we have to be careful, conscious of the evil guy and such. But, I don’t understand why you’re so freaked at it.” She waved away Angel’s disbelieving look. “I don’t-not having sex was a known factor, I knew it before I fell in love with you, you knew it, too. This isn’t a surprise, so why the sudden need to pack up and leave me.”
“I wouldn’t, I couldn’t…”
“Angel, you were ready to go into your “I’ve got to leave for the good of the woman I love mode.’”.
“I could never leave you Cor. I should…but…”
“See, stop that. I told you before I love you and you do deserve love whether it be from me or someone else, you do.”
“I only want it to be you.”
“Then, we’re okay. I just don’t…”
Angel laid a gentle hand up to Cordelia’s face. “I just thought, wanted to…” Angel started to caress her skin. “I just thought that I would be able to at least give you pleasure that’s all, I want to give you something other than pain to fill your memories of me.”
Cordelia leaned back from his touch, getting more than a little angry, finally understanding what was bothering the vampire. “First Angel, I’ll only say this once more you DO NOT give me pain.” Cordelia shook her head. “It’s because of you that I..I believe that I’m a better person than I was supposed to be. My path had been laid out, spoiled rich girl. My father’s ‘misfortune’ wouldn’t have changed that not really. I still would’ve believed that I deserved more…”
“Cordy, you do….”
“Angel, we’re not talking about the same thing.” She studied the vampire. “When did you forget that I was that spoiled selfish girl?”
“Cordy, you weren’t.”
“Yes, I was,” Cordelia smiled softly, her anger receding at Angel’s sure gaze. “Angel, you had to see it, granted, you do get a bit ‘focused’ and Buffy was that focus in Sunnydale, but even here when we first met again you had to see it. You did. You thought I was a pain. It’s okay, you were a pain too.”
“Buffy…”
“Angel, listen to me, this isn’t about Buffy. I’m not questioning your love for Buffy or wanting you to explain it or compare it or deny it, she helped you become who you are now, I might not have been her biggest fan in the day, but I’ve learned to appreciate who she is and what she has done and is still doing. I know you loved her. Buffy’s not an issue with me, not anymore, I’ve done my 30 second gloating bit. This is about me.”
“30 second what?”
“Don’t worry, okay. But, Angel, I was a spoiled bitch and I thought I deserved,” Cordy shook her head. She had forgotten all those thoughts and feelings until scary girl brought them all back in techno color.
“Deserved isn’t even right, I thought I was entitled to everything and I mean everything that’s what I was raised to believe and I did. It changed over the last few years but that was who I was.”
“No, Cordy, that’s not right.’
“Angel..”
The vampire shook his head. “I do remember Sunnydale and when you first came to LA. I know what I saw. I noticed the beautiful superficial selfish girl even through my Buffy-glazed glasses, I noticed not so much because you were beautiful, you were and are, but because even then when I had forgotten how to smile, you made me smile. There was no drama or angst surrounding you, you just were you saying what needed to be said, sometimes in very tactless fashion, but usually you were right.
I agreed with you more times than you could ever imagine or would’ve if I had been able to focus beyond Buffy. You were funny. You made me laugh.” He rose at brow at Cordelia’s look of pure disbelief.
“Inside,” he nodded, ‘deep inside.”
“Right.” Cordelia cocked her brow.
“Really. It’s just that I wasn’t the funny guy that I am now.”
“Uh.” Cordelia’s other brow rose to match its mate in height and disbelief.
“I’m talking now.” Angel gestured away her expression.
“My god, you do have a sense of humor.” Cordelia said mockingly, smiling at her vampire.
“I said, I was talking, now shut up.”
“I’m listening,” Cordelia inched closer to the vampire. Angel immediately reached for her. “I saw you, a beautiful young girl, who with all her bitching never failed in getting Buffy and gang to where they needed to go, who did what you could to help, seemly reluctant and definitely loud, but if you hadn’t cared you wouldn’t have done it or been there.
You had courage and heart even then, just well hidden. Then, I saw you here, admittedly at first I tried to ignore you most of the time.”
“See.”
“Because, you made me smile again, care about something other than my self broodying pity party and I didn’t want to. I didn’t think I could. Then one day, one horrible day, it hit me- I saw you struggle behind sightless crying eyes, seeing god only knows what horror, lifeless against hospital straps and I was afraid that I might not be able to save you. I had saved you before -more than a few times but that time, I was scared.
So scared because I realized that I needed you in my life. I think that’s when I began to realize that nothing could ever happen to you, that I had to protect you always. It wasn’t love, not yet. But, in it a way, it’s was more powerful, then I knew I could survive without Buffy, I still loved her but I could survive- but you I needed. It was you and your smile that were my link to actually living, not just being a demon shadow of a man, I couldn’t become the person you joked, nagged, and believed that I could be, the one that I realized that I wanted to be- without you.
I didn’t want to be that shadow anymore, I was slow, but I did learn that and you taught me. You in all your Cordyness, uniqueness, wonderfulness, gave me hope for something that was impossible. Like I said I was slow, but the seed was sown that day and it was one that never went away, even when I screwed up.
It was there in the corner of my mind drawing me back to you. It’s no wonder I fell in love with you. I didn’t really have a choice. I couldn’t not have you in my life, so every where I turned there you were all courageous and heart, so damn loving and beautiful that it hurts sometimes just to look at you. And Cordy, you did have those qualities in Sunnydale it just here that you allowed them to be seen.
That’s why I love you and why you are the heart of all of us, especially me. Because that’s who you are, who you always been.”
“You know, that ‘heart’ stuff just gets more and more cheesy every time it’s said. I blame Fred for bringing cheesiness into our midst, ‘heart of’, ‘Kye-rumption, all of it.” Cordy brushed away her tears, valiantly trying not to dissolve into a massive puddle at Angel’s words.
Angel smiled. “Fred, in her own way, says the truth.”
“Hmmph.” Cordelia blinked up her eyes at Angel, attempting to regain her patented Cordy composure. “I had a point to all of this, do you remember? Oh god, I’m turning into Fred.”
“I think you were starting to list some reasons to be mad at me? You were getting angry.” Angel said hopefully.
Cordelia blinked. “Mad at you? After all those wonderful things…” Her eyes widened. “Oh yea, I remember.” A scowl forming on her brow.
“Oh yeah.” Angel said glad to see the melancholy off her beautiful face. “You were saying,” he pulled the young woman closer.
“First, with not going all into it again, you don’t give me pain, one bad time only, the rest wonderful, I found a purpose and a family with you so if nothing else I love you for that, okay. The vision, while not asked for originally, I ultimately chose, just like I chose to stay with you and always will. I believe in the mission and I believe in you and I love that I can believe in both. The second was,” Cordelia turned separating their bodies but maintaining her gaze on the vampire. She wasn’t really sure how to say the next part.
Angel’s most recent brood fodder was that he wouldn’t be able to give her an orgasm, not said explicitly, but she had figured it out. Which Cordy did admit was a bit unfair, since it was his soul that was tied up to ‘the big happy’ not hers, but really she didn’t think it was that big of a deal. It would’ve bothered her more if he had said no kissing or cuddling.
Not that she didn’t like sex, she did- she was a healthy female with needs. It’s just that orgasms never were big on her list of needs. The boys she had dated that she did actually sleep with, which were a lot less than high school gossip said, never really concerned themselves with her pleasure just theirs. And later, there were even less guys, Wilson and Groo. If she had an orgasm with Wilson, that memory was wiped completely away by the huge pregnant stomach full of demon babies she woke up with. So no after glow there.
And Groo, she guessed she had them with him, she was sure she did, but mostly it seemed like she faked to get him to stop, god it was always, ‘I must please my princess’, ‘pound pound pound’ all night until she screamed like a banshee just to get him to stop. Which sounds great, all that stamina, unless you’re the one getting pounded in when all you really wanted was to be held and kissed and feel the intimacy of being loved.
There were no kaleidoscope of colors bursting behind her eyelids or nerves that melted in to exquisite explosions, or losing conscious at the pleasure, that was romance novels, reality was ‘pound pound pound’. You got what you could outta of foreplay. Cordelia jerked her head.
Oh god, she was frigid, she wasn’t a healthy female. She couldn’t tell Angel that, he’d never want to make love to her then. Cordelia signed and buried her head in her hands. Why did she start this whole thing? To wrapped up in loving Angel and reassuring him, never mind the consequence to her self-confidence and exposure of her faults.
Angel sat and waited for the second reason Cordelia was mad. Only it wasn’t coming. In fact, something was upsetting her. Her beautiful eyes had gone from the welcome glare, to concentration, to shock and then to embarrassment. What the hell was she thinking? “Cordy, what is it.”
“What? Nothing.”
“Cordelia, the second reason, you started but stopped.”
“I forgot.”
“Cordy, stop avoiding and tell me.” Angel repeated her earlier words.
Cordelia glared up. He shouldn’t be able to use her words against her. That wasn’t fair. When did she lose control over this conversation? Oh she remembered, when she actually starting thinking about orgasms and Angel in the same thought. She took a deep breath. She was Cordelia Chase, she loved Angel, but it was only Angel, when had she not been able to handle a conversation with him.
Okay, think. “Angel, I get that you want to please me, I do really and that’s so sweet.” She patted Angel’s face.
Angel pulled back; the images of naked bodies were starting to surface again. “Sweet?” Angel sat further away, his images maybe could be called sweet he did have a couple of nice fantasies of Cordelia which started out with music and candlelight and words of love, they were number 1 thru 5, and then there was 12, which had flowers and god forbid dancing, he guessed they could be called sweet, of course they all ended up hot and sweaty and a bit more carnal that ‘sweet’.
“Yes, sweet. It’s so sweet that you want give that to me, but Angel it’s no big deal.”
Angel narrowed his eyes and began to wonder if she was talking about something different than what he was thinking. “Cordelia, I was talking about pleasing you.”
“I know. It’s….”
“I wasn’t talking about making you dinner,” Angel interrupted not wanting to hear the word sweet again.
“I know, you what you were talking about. You want me to be able to have the ‘big happy’ even when you can’t. That’s….”
“Please stop saying sweet.”
“What’s wrong with sweet, it is.”
“It’s just not the word that I would use to describe what I want to do you.”
“Making love to me would to be sweet.” Cordelia glared.
Angel blinked back to the vision of music and candlelight. He nodded quickly and kept on nodding until the glare left Cordy’s face. She was right it would be sweet- sweetly sexy, sweetly hot, sweetly enticing, sweetly carnal, sweetly love-filled, sweetly lust-crazed.
Cordelia smiled. “Right. Anyway, it’s that is not necessary. It’s not a big deal. Orgasms are overrated. Sure, okay, not for you, you’re a guy and you’ve got this whole mysticism of the curse wrapped around it, of course it’s like a really big deal to you. I understand that. But this broody need for you to give me one is unnecessary. Having you kiss me, hold me and love me is enough, though it is really sweet of you to think you have to do more for me. But, Angel, women don’t need orgasms like men, half the time they fake, you saw ‘Harry Met Sally’.”
Angel sat back trying to catch one, just one of the fleeing and crashing thoughts that were bombarding his mind. The first was who in the hell were Harry and Sally and what were they doing in this conversation.
That question he was able to dispense with as soon as he recalled the movie and the scene Cordy referred to. He only remembered it because Cordy had laughed her head off, crying ‘men are so lame’ and that he felt uncomfortable and had a sudden need to prove to the hysterical woman that she would never fake anything with him-that memory became rooted in his mind as he realized the meaning of Cordelia’s whole statement not just the movie part.
If Cordy really believed that women didn’t want orgasms than she never had one not really, not that the kind that blew your mind and reason out of your head, the kind he was afraid of having with her, the kind he knew he could give her.
Angel was back to the thought to prove to Cordy that she would never fake with him- the challenge was there but so was the pleasure of knowing that Groo, the buff naïve hero never gave her one. He couldn’t of or she wouldn’t be so ready to ignore it. Angel thought he could do this, because even with how much he loved Cordy, right now the overwhelming urge wasn’t to get lost in her, but in completing the challenge successfully.
“Cor,” Angel leaned in. “You fake your pleasure?” He smiled, his grin soft, his voice smooth as silk and slightly teasing. Cordelia blinked leaning away. This wasn’t a smile of Angel’s she had seen before. It scared her.
Not in the oh my god it’s Angelus and a bloodbath, but in oh my god I’m a deer caught in the fucking headlights or I’m a fucking mouse getting ready to be pounced on by a really beautiful dangerous cat.
Though, that wasn’t right either, the deer and mouse were victims, she didn’t necessarily feel like a victim and Angel the predator. Okay, she did, as his hand started to tease the flesh of her collarbone and mouth as he moved closer with that confident teasing smile. Damn it was sexy.
Okay she didn’t feel like she was going to die just that something uncontrollable was about to happen. Hey, that wasn’t good. “Angel.”
“Shh, baby, just trust me, I’m in control.”
“Angel, you said…”
“Shh,” Angel captured her lips, manipulating them, teasing them, torturing them and his hand was doing much more to her skin. How’d he get his hands under her shirt so fast.
Oh God. Cordelia started to believe in fireworks behind the eyes. Her body did just seem to melt as Angel’s hand, the one that wasn’t teasing her breast moved down along her jeans to the juncture of her thighs. Oh god. Cordy just knew that it wasn’t natural the way her body had heated up to boiling level. He was just fondling her through her jeans, not an unknown experience.
But it was Angel, Angel the vampire that she had loved longer than she probably even knew, was tracing hard and circling patterns through the denim fabric. She was going to scream, because the material was there, the friction unbearable and his clothes were on. She tried to lunge at his lips but they were unmovable on her chest slowly descending onto her breast, she gasped.
Kisses on breast were good. She clutched tighter around the vampire, pulling at his shirt, skin she needed to touch skin. She pressed, stroked and dug as the teasing at her jeans became more insistent the pattern more focused. Soon, she couldn’t remember if she had pants on or not and damn, if she didn’t experience a firework display behind her eyelids.
“Angel,” she gasped her legs clenching than releasing, her nerves burst finally allowing her to breath. She lay dazed as Angel roughly pushed her away.
“Angel,” she said. The vampire was sitting as far away from her as he could on the bed, staring at his hand, the fingers at his face. She stared at those fingers. Those goddamn fingers that made her forget her name for a moment in delicious time. Cordelia swore that she saw Angel’s tongue dart quickly to taste one.
She wanted to be that finger, she wanted to be that tongue. Hell, she just wanted. “Angel,” she said breathlessly crawling closer.
Angel blinked. “Go now, please.”
“Angel,”
“Cordy, please.”
Cordelia stared and that’s when she saw Angel’s straining erection and recognized the grimace on his face, it was the one that she knew was on her face. “Cold-shower.”
Angel blinked gazing at her like she just recited the cure for cancer or peace on earth. He nodded moving jumping to the door of the bathroom. He stopped as he realized that Cordelia wasn’t just talking about him needing a shower her hand was also on the doorknob.
He pushed it away. “Not together.” He growled.
Cordelia gulped and blinked. “Right. Really bad idea.” She turned and ran out of the room.
