Title: Girls, Ghosts & Green Eyed Monsters.
Summary: Angel discovers Cordelia and Dennis’ loofah antics and isn’t too thrilled about the whole thing.
Disclaimer: Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: GTC/A, JF, anywhere else just ask.
Thanks/Dedication: Notes: Possible the SILLIEST thing I have ever written. For samsmom because she is pretty.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Angel remained silent, glaring at her from the bed, his body rigid as he sat hunched over the edge, shoulders stiff with tension. Cordelia rolled her eyes, releasing a heavy breath.
Part of her wanted to just leave him there to sulk like the petulant child he was pretending to be.
He moved slightly, an inch to the left, his head dropping closer to the hollow of his throat.
In three steps she was beside him, her knees sinking into the soft mattress of the bed. Angel shifted again, as if trying to get away from her and she felt a flash of annoyance. He pouted slightly, his lower lip jutting out in such an uncharacteristic expression that it disappeared, leaving behind a mixture of affection and amusement.
“Angel – ”
Cordy sighed, moving again so she was behind him, her arms wrapping loosely around his neck, hands sliding down the v of his jumper to settle between his chest and abdomen. He stiffened but didn’t pull away and she couldn’t help but smile, pressing a kiss to his temple and resting her cheek there.
“It was just a massage. There was nothing sexual about it.”
Angel’s jaw tensed, his eyes focussed on some point a few feet in front of him. “I don’t want to talk about it, Cordelia.”
“Well, I do.” Cordy cocked her head, balancing a hand on his shoulder as she leaned around him. “I don’t see why you’re so upset. Dennis was just – ”
Angel rose then, detaching her arms from around him and walking straight out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
“You’re being ridiculous.”
Angel glared at Wesley from across the desk, his frown deepening. “That’s exactly what Cordy said.”
“She’s right.” Gunn quipped from where he was seated by the door of the office, his arms folded. The look on his face spoke clearly of his opinion on Angel’s position.
Angel threw the pencil he’d been fiddling with down onto the desk, leaning forward on his elbows. “I knew I should have exorcised that damn ghost when I had the chance…”
“And what?” Gunn raised an eyebrow. “Get staked by Barbie while you sleep?”
“Yes, not the best of ideas.” Wesley chimed in. “Look, I really think you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. If Cordy were to indulge in a day at the spa – ”
Gunn made a face. “How?”
“It just is.” Angel groused. “Look, the men there…it’s their job. It’s not like they take some sick, perverted pleasure in it.”
Wesley leaned his head back, slamming it against his chair. “Good Lord, Angel…”
“What makes you think the ghost does?” Gunn asked. “Come on man, he’s just lookin’ out for your girl after a rough day on the job. You should be grateful.”
Angel growled, low in his throat. “I’m not. I don’t care if he’s a ghost, he’s also a guy and all guys want one thing.” He stood up, paced. “Throw a wet, naked girl and loofah into the equation – ”
Gunn stuck out an arm, halting him. “Hold on, I’m trying to picture it…”
“Do you *want* me to hurt you?” Angel snapped.
Wesley sat upright. “That’s enough. For goodness sake Angel, this entire conversation is absurd. Dennis is Cordelia’s friend – ”
“He’s a menace.”
“Perhaps in your opinion, yes.” Wesley peered at Angel through his glasses, like a headmaster would an errant pupil. “But it isn’t your call. And Cordelia loves you. She’s hardly going to leave you for a spectre.”
“Even if it is one that’s hella good with a loofah.” Gunn said rather unhelpfully, taking a step back when Angel swivelled in his direction. “What?”
Cordelia looked at the package suspiciously. “What is it?”
Angel grinned down at her, waggling his eyebrows. “Just open it.”
She lowered the gift into her lap, narrowing her eyes. “Don’t think you buying me something pretty is gonna make me forget about you temper tantrum yesterday.”
Damn. “Well, I’m sure there are other ways I can make you forget…” Angel allowed his voice to drop to a low timber, the kind that had brought many a woman to her knees. He bent down slightly and pressed a kiss beneath her left eye, then trailed his lips across the slant of her cheekbone to her ear. “I was a jealous moron.”
“Mmm…” Cordelia agreed, her eyes closing as he curled his tongue around her ear, nipping ever so gently at the lobe. “That you were…”
“I’m sorry.” It came out breathless, husky, as though he were intoxicated by her. Angel bit down softly at the spot where lobe met jaw, smirking against her skin. “Open it.”
When he pulled away she shot him a smile, like she couldn’t hold it in, reaching for her present and ripping it open.
“It’s really more for me than you.” Angel warned her, his hands sliding into his pockets.
Cordy raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t those kinds of gifts usually for Valentine’s Day?”
A low chuckle escaped him. “It isn’t lingerie.”
“Oh.” She pulled the object out from inside the wrapping, holding it up in front of her. Her lips curled into a half smile, her eyes looking up at him in helpless amusement. “A loofah?”
The air shifted slightly, the temperature dropping a few degrees. Angel bit back a smile.
“Exactly.” He took it from her, twirling it between his fingers. “This one stays at my place.”
“The point of that being?”
“If ever you decide you want to use one…or you need a hand with one.” Angel grinned lecherously at her. “Well I’ll be right next door, baby.”
Cordy laughed then, a sweet, soft sound that made a flutter drop from his heart to his toes. He took her hand when she offered it, helping her to her feet. Her arms went around his neck, his around her waist, the new loofah still clutched in his hand.
“And I suppose using it there means less using the one I have here?” She asked.
“See? It’s genius.”
Cor rolled her eyes. “You’re a dumbass.” Her eyes went soft, her body pressing closer to his as she gazed at him. “Remind me why I put up with you again?”
“Well,” Angel’s palms spanned the width of her waist and lower back, his lips hovering teasingly above hers. “That’s because I’m good with a loofah.”
A breeze brushed past him, raising the tail-ends of his coat just slightly. Angel ignored Dennis’ obvious antagonism, pressing his mouth to Cordelia’s and nibbling on her lower lip, his body tightening when she reached up and combed a hand through his hair, tilting her head and deepening the kiss.
She pulled back and hugged him, nuzzling her cheek into his throat, lips brushing against his adam’s apple. Angel stroked a hand down her spine, the glint of victory in his eyes and a wicked grin on his face that he directed heavenward.
Angel: 1. Dennis: 0.