Great Minds. 12b


“I don’t get the concept.” Angel said, hand firmly intertwined with Cordy’s. They were walking through the sewers, bickering and joking as usual.

“It really isn’t that hard, Angel.” Cordelia rolled her eyes. “You just put in your card, punch in a number, punch in the amount of money you want and it’ll give it to you.”

“Is there somebody always behind it?”

“No! It’s a machine.”

“But…why can’t you just go to a bank?”

“Because! Oh my God! You are so deficient! What, 250 years, you learn everything there is to know about sex and you can’t pick up on freakin’ technology?”

Angel grinned wolfishly. “Well, the sex was always more interesting.”

Cordelia laughed and shook her head in disbelief. “Men.”

“Oh, come on! Would you have preferred it better if I knew the highs and lows of technology or if I was fantastic in bed?”

“Don’t choke on your modesty or anything.” Cordelia said sarcastically.

“I’m not. I don’t need to.” A smirk settled on his face. “At least I don’t need to according to what you said last night.”

Cordelia glared at him. “I didn’t say anything like that.”

Angel looked contemplative for a second. “Oh, that’s right, I’m sorry, you screamed it.”

Cordelia whirled, striking a fist out in his direction but he caught it in his large hand, grinning like a mad man. She couldn’t help but smile back.


“Love you too.”

Cordelia felt her stomach flutter when he said that but she ignored it and pulled her fist out of his grip, turning around and walking again. He jogged up beside her and slipped his hand sneakily into hers. She bit back her smile and continued walking, joined hands swinging with each step. Suddenly, she stopped.

He stopped too, looking at her, surprised by her sudden halt. “Cordy?”

She kept looking straight ahead, eyes wide, heart beating rapidly. Angel looked up to see what she was staring at. His shoulders slouched.

Six vampires stood facing them, fangs bared, faces sneering, standing in a horizontal pyramid, with whom looked to be the leader in the front. Angel grumbled.

“I’m so not in the mood for this.”


Gunn replaced the broadsword into the weapon’s cabinet, picking up a small knife and rubbing the cloth over its shiny surface. Cleaning weaponry relaxed him for some reason. Maybe it was to do with the fact that these weapons aided them in killing evil. And with just the swipe of a cloth, Gunn was able to erase the remnants of whatever big bad they had defeated, leaving the world without a trace of its ugly existence.

He put down the cloth when he heard the shuffling of feet behind him. He turned around swiftly but there was no one there.


Nothing. He walked into the middle of the lobby, surprised to see that it was empty. Bits and pieces of Fred’s device were scattered all over the floor but the silence was ghostly. Then he heard that shuffle again and he turned around again, arms up in a defensive stance. This time he heard footsteps and he stood defiant, fists ready to tackle any attacker.

“Who’s there?”

A long, long leg, covered in a deliciously tight black leather, slid out from behind the wall, feet snugly encased in four inch black high heels. The foot danced slightly, almost teasing him. Gunn raised an eyebrow.

“Who’s that?”

The leg slowly revealed itself completely, along with the rest of the owner’s body. Gunn followed the low riding waist line, fabric so low it exposed the pointy bones of the pelvis. Gunn swallowed. Hard. His eyes were drawn up by the mesmerising rise and fall of the owner’s chest, woman’s chest he noticed, as breasts heaved in a leather bikini top, barely containing them. He glanced up to the face, the beautiful face of a woman with sparkling hazel eyes.

“C…Cordy?” Gunn stammered.

Cordelia simply nodded, a small tilt of her head, seductively running her tongue over her lips and strolling towards him. Gunn put his fists down and stood up straight.

“I thought you were out.”

“I came back.”

“Oh. Uh, Cordy…w…what are you doing?”

She was running her hands down his sleeves, then across his covered stomach, lifting the fabric before he could protest, feeling the warm skin underneath. Gunn sighed in pleasure before realising what he was doing and he jerked away from her, eyes widening in horror.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“I want you.”


“You heard me. I want you up against that wall. I want you on the sofa. I don’t care where or why or how, I just want you. NOW.”

“C…Cordelia! What the hell’s the matter with you girl?” Gunn stuttered, backing up slightly. The look in her eyes was one of pure hunger, hunger so real that it almost came out and bit him. But she was an actress…

“Oh! Oh, I see! Yeah, very funny. Wes and Lorne put you up to this huh? Okay, alright, you got me, good, very funny, you scared me for a minute. Really.”

Cordelia looked thoroughly confused for a moment before she regained her bold stance and sauntered over to him again. Gunn didn’t move this time. He was so convinced it was a joke. But when she ran a soft hand over his cheek, that option went out the window.

“Don’t you want me?” She looked almost insecure for a moment and Gunn swallowed down the guilt. He removed her hand slowly and gave it a squeeze, using it to push her away slowly.

“C…Cordy, you’re a beautiful woman and I would be lying if I said I didn’t think you were HOT. But…you’re my friend. And Angel’s my friend. And he loves you too much. And I…”

“But you have a bigger axe.” She raised her eyebrows suggestively. Gunn’s jaw dropped.

“But he…”

“I don’t want to talk about him.” She came forward and Gunn’s eyes widened when he felt his back hit the wall.

“B…but…you and him…and I don’t want…”

“Oh, shut up.” She pressed her body against his so that he was sandwiched between her and the wall. “I know you want me.” She licked his chin and he shivered. “So take me.”

“B…but…anyone could walk in!” He protested.

She grinned wickedly. “So? Let em’.” Then she kissed him. Kissed him so hard he felt his teeth vibrate. Gunn struggled for a moment and then gave up, pulling her closer. He kissed her back with equal fervour, switching their positions so that she was backed against the wall.

She pulled at his shirt, grabbing the bottom and lifting it up and over his shoulders, leaving his mouth to encase his left nipple. He moaned, writhing against her as her tongue flicked over the small bud, sending delightful tingles through his nerves and into every part of his body, especially his crotch.

He pulled her up and captured her lips again, the idea that anyone could walk in on them at any time exciting him even more. There was a nagging feeling that this could destroy them, destroy Angel and Cordy and their family because he had an affair with the heart.

But hell, he didn’t initiate it.

He reached behind her, cupping the round globes of her ass and lifting her against him. She immediately wrapped her legs around him, groaning as she came into full contact with his hardness. His hands roamed her bare back and found the tie to the bikini, grabbing vainly at the knots, trying to undo them.

Suddenly she dropped her legs, pushing him away so hard that he stumbled slightly, managing to catch his balance before he tripped over. He looked up at her, eyes earlier filled with passion now tainted with confusion. Cordelia raised an elegant eyebrow and her smile was feral.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

Gunn gasped, jerking awake, scrambling up from the couch but tripping over his tangled feet, falling flat on his face on the lobby floor.


He turned his head as Fred came rushing over to him, helping him up. He groaned as his jaw made a clicking sound and he clutched it in pain. He looked around, noticing that the lobby was exactly as it had been when he fell asleep.

Fred’s device was still on the floor. Angel and Cordy were still out. Gunn looked down to find worried brown eyes looking at him through planes of glass.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah girl, I’m fine.” He turned his face away from her, cheeks flaming red. He had been about to have sex with Cordelia. Cordelia. The most beautiful woman in the world. Who just happened to be one of his best friends. And who just happened to be the object of the Scourge of Europe’s affections.

Gunn swallowed guiltily. How the hell did that happen? It had seemed so real. So amazing. But to having this kind of dreams about a woman he considered a close friend was ridiculous. Sure, he was attracted to her, anyone with a penis who didn’t bend in the opposite direction would be. But that didn’t justify his fantasising about her.

He shook his head. Guilt flooded him at the risk he had been more than ready to take. Angel would’ve killed him. Hell, it would have killed Angel. Gunn sighed heavily, sitting down again and resting his head in his hands, muttering quietly to himself.

“Damn Lorne with his damn insightfulness.”


“Guys, can we do this another time? I’m really not in the mood.” Angel raised his hands and looked at the vampires, smiling almost apologetically.

“Yeah, and these heels are new.” Cordelia added, squeezing Angel’s hand tightly. His finger moved along her palm reassuringly.

One of the vampires, the leader, moved forward slightly, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “No can do pal. Now why don’t you piss off and let us have the fresh food?” He eyes Cordelia hungrily and she gave him a repulsed look. Angel glared at the vampire.

“She’s mine.” He growled.

“She won’t be for long.”

“You obviously don’t know who I am, do you?” Angel rolled his eyes dramatically and sighed. This seemed to agitate the vampire and he took another step forward. Angel pushed Cordelia behind him.

“Aw come on, didn’t your mother ever teach you to share?”

“I don’t share.” Angel ground out.

“Oh well. Too bad. We’ll just have to take her for ourselves then.” He clicked his fingers and Cordelia turned around, hearing something rustle behind her. Two more vampires appeared on Cordelia side and she turned around so that she was back to back with Angel.

“Eight.” She whispered.

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re good at math.” The leader grinned advancing on Angel. Angel struck out with his fist, cracking the vampires jaw and the sound rung through the sewer walls. The vampire landed on his back, groaning in agony.

“Get them!” He ordered.

The five vampires on Angel’s side rushed at them. Angel kicked a vampire in the face at the same time as punching another. He released the stakes hidden underneath his sleeves and slammed them into another two vampires’ chests. He grabbed another vampire as he came forward in a head butt and twisted his head, breaking his neck and turning him to dust.

Cordelia eyed the two facing her warily. One of them grinned, walking forward slowly and then abruptly stopping.

“Hey gorgeous.”

“I would say it back, but that would be lying.”

The vampire growled. “I will have you.”

“Pfft! Over my dead body!”

“That can be arranged.” He lunged forward. Cordelia caught him by surprise, lashing out with her shoe. She kicked out violently, the sharp edge of her shoe slamming into the vampire’s nose with such a force that he stumbled back. She kicked out again and jammed the three inch wooden heel into his chest, piercing his heart with the point. He screeched and turned into dust before her.

The other vampire looked at her in shock, a second before pouncing on her. Cordelia wasn’t prepared this time and they both went flying to the ground, rolling around on the dirty sewer floor.

“Oh, ew!” Cordelia screamed and elbowed the vamp but he wouldn’t let her up. He grabbed her arms and pinned her down, Cordelia bucking her hips in order to get him off her. But his hold was strong and the hip bucking seemed to excite him.

“Is that what you want, little girl?” He ran his hand over her chest, grabbing her arms and pinning them above her head.

“Get off me!” She screamed and kicked but he was too strong. Meanwhile, Angel was slammed into a wall as three vampires surrounded him. One punched him in the gut and he bent over in pain, vamping out and jerking back up again.

“Okay, that just pissed me off junior!” He spun around and kicked the vampire in the face, backhanding another as he turned. The third lunged at him and Angel pulled out a stake, slamming it into his chest, dusting him in mid air without blinking an eye. He kicked the vampire who was down in the gut.

“Yeah, hurts, doesn’t it?” He pulled him up and threw him into the wall, about to jump onto the remaining vampire when he heard Cordelia scream.

“Cordy.” He turned around and at the sight of the vampire astride Cordelia, rage filled him, bubbling up from his chest and into his very soul. He growled and ran, jamming a stake into the vampire’s back so viciously that the vampire whimpered and then exploded into dust.

Cordelia looked up as the vampire who was straddling her disappeared and she was left looking at Angel’s handsome face. He held out his hand and she took it, standing up and dusting off her clothes. Her shirt and pants were covered in dirt and slime and she grimaced. Angel lifted her chin, hand gently running along her face, concerned eyes locking with her own.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Cordy smiled. “I’m fine. Did you dust the rest?”

Angel turned around and found that the last two vampires had fled the scene. He shook his head. “They’re gone.”

Cordelia looked over his shoulder. “Oh well…” She glanced at their filthy clothes. “Ew. Please remind me never to take a walk in the sewers again, kay?”

Angel looked guiltily at her, hand coming up to cup her cheek. “You belong in the sunlight.”

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I do, do I? Cos I don’t think so.” She snuggled into his arms and his own came around her involuntarily. She hugged him tightly. “I think I belong wherever you are. And if that’s in the sewers today, that’s okay. Cos tomorrow, it might just be the sunshine.”

Angel smiled against her hair, his heart lifting. He kissed her head once and then moved his hands up to palm her face, lifting it and circling her nose with his. He kissed her softly and then smiled.

“I love you.”

Cordelia grinned. “I love you too.”

His face lit up and she laughed, kissing his nose once and then taking his hand. “Come on, let’s go get clean. I’m in desperate need of a shower.”

Angel raised his eyebrows hopefully, letting himself be pulled by her. “Together?”


Lorne whistled to himself as he fixed his fourth seabreeze of the afternoon, Sinatra playing along in the background. He had finally fixed that damn radio and it was playing softly, melodious music drifting around the kitchen.

He placed the seabreeze down and rolled up his sleeves, flexing his wrists and getting comfortable. Angel and Cordy wouldn’t be back for a while and the lobby was getting dull without a drink. He lifted the glass and took another sip of the cool liquid, loving the way it rolled down his throat and soothed his entire being. He felt as though he was floating, every time he swallowed.

The clicking of fingers made him glance up and his eyes widened in surprise. Then in complete and utter horror.

“Brown eyes?”

Cordelia was dressed in a short glittery dress that just about reached her thighs, silver sparkling against the light. Around her neck was a bright pink feather boa, fluffy and soft, curling around her throat and leaking down her side. Her earrings were large silver hoops, so huge that they came down to her shoulders. Her hair was…big was putting it mildly. It was permed and curly and huge. Lorne was sure that it was at least four inches from her scalp. Her face was covered in make up, from the red lips to the mascara, to the blusher, to the eyeliner.

“C…Cordy, why are you dressed like that?”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she smiled and reached over, flipping the radio off with a long, elegant finger, leaving the room in silence. Then, from behind her, she pulled out a microphone. Lorne was too shocked to move or speak. Cordelia began to sing.

“The minute you walked in the joint…”

She kicked out a leg, a long, bare leg, due to the fact that there was zero material covering it. Lorne gulped.

“I could see you were a man of distinction…”

She wandered over, hips swaying in time to her singing. Then she stopped right in front of him, placing a warm hand on his leg.

“A real big…” She paused and glanced down at his crotch, smirking. Lorne snapped his knees together, “spender…”


“Hey big spender! Speeeeend a little tiiiiime…with meeeee…” Her finger circled the rim of his glass, dipping in once and then bringing the wet tip up to her lips. She sucked it into her mouth, seductively, tongue rolling over the soft skin and slipping it out of her mouth with a small pop. Lorne gulped as she moved forward some more, settling the finger on his lips and blowing him a kiss.


“Ssh.” She commanded, running the finger over his lips and then up the slope of his nose and in between his eyes. Lorne felt as though he would faint from the sensation. He watched entranced as Cordelia’s tongue snaked out and wet her glossy red lips, her eyes promising him something he had never even dreamt of before. He shivered as she ran her fingertip over the graceful curve of his left horn.

“See something you like, sugar?” Cordelia murmured, as his eyes fluttered shut. She traced her finger back down again, all the way down his face and neck until it landed on a shirt button. She undid the button slowly and pressed her hand to his skin. His eyes flew open.

“What are you doing?”

“Undressing you.”

Lorne snapped out of whatever trance he was in and stood up, keeping her at a distance with a raised hand. “Cordelia…”


“You’re…you’re with Angel…”

“So?” She smiled at him.

Lorne looked horrified. “So?! So, we can’t do this…as…as much as I want to…”

“Well, I want to, too.” She interrupted him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him to her. Lorne squeaked. Cordelia ripped open his shirt, throwing the useless material to the floor. She traced the textured skin, finger running deliciously over each black bump, over crumpled green creases, over pink dusky pectorals. Lorne shuddered, and tried to push her away but found his arms betrayed him and he pulled her closer.

She kissed up his neck, biting down on his chin and finally finding his lips. She placed a soft kiss on his mouth and then attacked it, tongue delving in to investigate the unfamiliar skin, taste and texture. Lorne fisted his hands in her big hair, surprised that it still felt as soft as it looked originally, kissing her back and bending her over slightly, as though they were dancing.

When he brought her back up again, she laced her arms around his neck, one hand coming up to palm his face and then tickle his horn. Lorne chuckled and shivered, pulling her closer against him. He was backed against the fridge and she continued to kiss him, him kissing back as though his life depended on it.

Suddenly, she pulled away, rubbing her lips with the back of her hand and glaring at him. He stopped at her scowling face, his heart jumping in fear and guilt. Then she smirked, face slipping into an eerie, evil grin.

“I know what you’re thinking.”

“Aargh!!” Lorne jerked awake and turned swiftly, successfully toppling over the stool he was sitting on and sending him tumbling to the lobby floor. When he looked up, Gunn and Fred were looking at him as though he were mad.

In fact, Fred looked a little freaked. She looked over at Gunn and then at Lorne. Then back and forth between the two. Then down at herself. She shrugged.

“I guess I’m already on the floor.” She mumbled.

Gunn looked at Lorne. “You okay?”

Lorne glanced up nodding. He hurriedly got to his feet and put his head down on the counter again, taking a seat. He had just had a rather enjoyable fantasy about Cordelia. Brown eyes, Cordelicious, Cordelia. Angel’s Cordelia. Lorne banged his head against the counter. Why him? What did he ever do?

Cordelia had looked amazing. She had been his dream diva…that would explain why she was in his dream. He banged his head against the counter again. Guilt flooded through him, as did disturbance. Hell, if he thought green was her colour he would have bagged her a long time ago. But she was in love with Angel. She was Angel’s. His head hit the counter again.

And he was a demon. She was a human. Sure, he was gorgeous for his kind, at least he thought so, but she had made it perfectly clear that she didn’t want to look like him. And here he was fantasising about her. He banged his head against the counter and this time Gunn looked up in annoyance.

“Man, what’s the matter with you?”

Lorne turned around and waved him away with his hand. Wesley came out of his office, looking rather scruffy and tired but everyone else suspected it was from lack of rest while researching his new tome. Not from sleep itself.

“Was it hard?” Gunn asked. Wesley’s eyes widened and he jerked his head to Gunn’s. “W…what?”

Gunn rolled his eyes. “Was it hard? Finding this book thingy?”

Wesley swallowed. “Oh. Yes. Uh, no! No, it wasn’t hard. Not hard at all. In fact, anything but hard.” Gunn made a weird face and Wesley ignored him, walking over to Fred’s device. She grinned at him.

“It’s a catapult.”

“Aah.” Wesley acknowledged, smiling. “Looks deadly.”

Fred smiled at him, grateful that he was able to talk to her with ease again. If anything, she was just happy that he was on his way to forgiving himself. She’d help him get there…eventually.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the basement door opened and a very dishevelled looking Angel and Cordelia appeared, clothes slightly ripped in places and completely covered in dirt and grime. They looked like they’d been rolling around in it.

Fred raised her eyebrows, Wesley looked suspicious, Gunn just shook his head, muttering something about bunnies, and Lorne gave them a strange look. Cordelia’s jaw dropped when she received all the weird looks, immediately realising what they were thinking.

Her and Angel had barely been gone for a few hours. They could go without making out for that long! Well… And she most definitely would not have sex in the sewers! Cordelia smirked. That could also be debated.

She rolled her eyes when her friends didn’t stop staring. She sighed exasperatedly, throwing up her hands and then placing them on her hips, glaring accusingly. “I know what you’re thinking…”

Wesley choked, coughing to relieve whatever was stuck in his throat. Gunn turned a bright red and dropped his gameboy with a clatter, fumbling for it without looking up. Lorne’s seabreeze shot out through his nose, spraying everywhere. He coughed and hit his chest a few times.

Angels’ eyes widened and he glanced at Cordelia, who was looking at the men, just as stunned as he was. He reared his gaze to Fred, who just looked confused. Cordelia opened her mouth to question their behaviour but the guys beat her to it.

“I uh, I have to go to my…office! Yes, office…because there’s a tome…” Wesley trailed off, running towards his retreat.

“I’m just gonna…go to the bathroom!” Without waiting for a response, Gunn ran around the corner and slammed the bathroom door behind him.

“I should really get back to uh, to…Caritas! My club, Caritas…gotta go!” Lorne ran through the doors of the Hyperion, grabbing his coat on the way out without looking back, leaving a gaping Cordy, Angel and Fred staring after him. No one said anything for a moment. They were too dumbfounded to speak. Then Cordelia broke the silence.

“Was it something I said?”

The End


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