Part 7
“You LET her get away!”
“I most certainly did NOT!”
“She was right NEXT to you Wesley!”
“I don’t believe we’re attached to the hip Angel.”
“YOU let her get away!”
“I most CERTAINLY did not!”
Spike let out an exasperated grunt and propped his elbow on the little witch’s shoulder. “You think they’d be done in the coming hour or so, I do need to bleach.”
Willow muffled her snicker with her hand as Angel and Wesley shot them a dirty glance. “I don’t think they care Spike.”
“Well I’m just a puddle of mush.” Spike smirked as he met his sire’s eyes. “What gives Peaches? Besides your grip? Lose the little cheerleader?”
The reverberating growl should have been threatening if Spike didn’t know his sire was well as he did, because even when Angel leaned down into his face, he didn’t flinch. Not even when he spoke.
“I didn’t lose her.” Spinning around he pointed to Wesley. “HE did.”
“Did not!”
“And we’re back to that.” Spike rolled his eyes. “Look you bloody poof, can you just pick a list of spots the little chit likes to visit and you can scour round your wee city and bring her back. Help the hopeless.”
“Helpless.”
“Not in her case.”
Angel’s brown eyes narrowed into threatening slits. “Good idea Spike.” Reaching out he grabbed the vampire by the back of his duster collar and yanked him towards the door. “You can help!”
“Oye! Let go of me you bloody sod! I can walk on my bloody own you wanker! Let go!”
Willow took a deep breath before looking at Wesley. “Shall we?”
“WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAR!!!”
***
Cordelia walked out of the closing doors of the mall, her arms weighed down by bags. “If you weren’t in my head I’d be pissed off at your ungentlemanly-ness right about now Angelus.”
A man beside the door looked up startled at the young woman clad in a blood red dress and killer heels sashaying to the parking lot, his cigarette hanging from his lips.
~Can you not talk out loud Hazel, we do have a reputation.~
~Says the big bad.~ Cordelia snickered as she threw the contents of the bags into the backseat of the convertible before climbing into the driver’s seat.
~I am the biggest bad.~ He leered.
Gunning the engine Cordelia allowed a soft smile to grace her rouged lips. ~Egotist. Well not so bad. You did buy me nice things.~
“For a reason Cor. Now you intend to make it to this nightclub you tell me about so we can put it to use?”
~Oh and you tend to think out loud?~
~Shit.~
The Plymouth peeled out of the parking lot in a screech of tires and sparkling laughter, just as the Desoto pulled into the almost vacant lot.
“I told you it was too soddin’ late for the cheerleader to be here. But would he listen. Nooo. Pummel the bright childe into his nice leather seat, but don’t listen to reason. By Satan poofy! Your deductive skills HAVE gotten shoddy with age; you’re a bloody stain on our very existence.”
Angel kicked the door open before he could reach out and snap Spike’s head backwards so he could say a few wise words to the man, but the congested space in Spike’s car was starting to make the undead man claustrophobic.
He still couldn’t believe Spike had insisted Willow take the front seat. Didn’t anyone trust Wesley at all?
Muttering regret over siring childer, Angel let his eyes roam the expanse of the mall parking lot before his eyes landed on the security guard standing beside the darkened door to the mall. With resolved strides Angel tried not to look as murderous as he felt.
Spike seemed to have that effect on him, he concluded. Adding to the insane fury at Cordelia’s stunt.
“Hi. This may seem like an odd question since you see a lot of people here, but have you seen this woman.” Angel pulled a picture of Cordelia he’d found in her desk.
The guard blew out a lung full of smoke as he sized up the larger man bearing down on him without so much as a smile. Tilting his head sideways he saw a bleached blond man standing at the driver’s seat his arms on the top of the vintage car while two heads poked out of the windows watching him intently; a wispy redhead and a geeky young lad.
This damned city got weirder every minute. Taking the picture from the man he looked at it closely before looking up.
“Brunette, about five-eight, red dress, talks to herself?”
“Red dress?!” Angel scowled. “I’m going to kill Angelus.”
Frank handed him the picture. “But that was about a few minutes ago. She’s gone now.”
“Could you be any more vague?” Angel nearly bit out, his eyes flashing with impatience.
Wesley cleared his throat softly as he leaned further out of the car window. “Um, please don’t mind him. He’s rather worried about our friend. Um…which way did she go?”
Frank frowned at the spectacled man before glaring at the one called ‘Angel’ as if they expected him to believe that was his real name. Pointing to the exit of the lot he snorted. “That way.”
Spike’s mouth widened into his trademark smirk while Angel wished he could pound the little fat man into the ground. “Much obliged mate. Get back in the bloody car Angel. Oh and do you think you could lend me a fag mate? I’m fresh out. Marlboros?”
Frowning with distaste at Angel he stepped forward before holding out his pack of cigarettes to the blond man. “Here. There’s one left. Take the pack.”
His teeth grinding with annoyance Angel sank into the backseat of the car before yanking the door shut with a slap. There was no telling what Angelus was making her do.
He couldn’t believe she’d just gotten up and left without telling them anything. What the hell was she thinking!
“Oh and I heard her mention something about a nightclub.” Frank shrugged indifferently. “If that helps.”
“Thanks mate!” Spike shot the guard a wide grin and a wink as he dropped back behind the wheel. “Nice chap. Helpful fellow. You should learn a bit Peaches. Your city’s nicer than you.”
“Shut up Spike and drive.”
“Aye, aye Captain.”
Willow groaned. “Spike, have you been watching Spongebob again?”
Frank shook his head remembering his wife’s words. Frank decided he’d put in his transfer tomorrow.
“Flo was right.”
***
Cordelia nearly choked on her drink as she watched the hunched shoulder of the man walking away.
~Dammit Angelus! What was wrong with this one!~
~The fucking idiot had a mole the size of Texas! Are you purposefully blind woman!~
~I could barely see it!~
~I SAW IT~
~He was just asking for a dance!~ Maybe this whole night out with Angelus wasn’t that great an idea after all. Not only did she miss Angel slightly, being out on the town so to speak, not that Angel was any help in socializing but he did help when she whined.
And although Angelus had killer taste in clothes, he wouldn’t let any man near her. What was the point of coming to a nightclub if she couldn’t dance? So far she’d been ‘unnecessarily’ rude to six perfectly decent men because Angelus would step in to point out a flaw.
To the man’s face. She was waiting to be thrown out any minute for rudeness personified.
~He was asking for a fucking lap dance Hazel. I’m a man; I can tell these things!~
~And this is news? You all think with your penis! You’re MEN for god’s sake. Besides what’s the point of buying me this gorgeous dress if I can’t even show it off! All I’ve done so far is be the bitch at the bar.~
~Never took you for the mole-y kind of woman Cor.~
~I’m not! And what about the one before that! Did you really have to go into detail as to how small is dick was.~
~You know when you pump one muscle the others suffer. Basic rule of body building.~
~What! I’ve never heard that! Besides what does his biceps have to do with this?~
~ To compensate for his ‘pencil dick’.~
She let out a soft groan and leaned her head on her propped up hand on the bar as she gazed longingly at the dance floor.
~And the blonde was what?~
~What pisser opens with a line like ‘I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you.’?~
She rolled her eyes. ~But the poor man did not need me to tell him, ‘I bet I can make you shit your pants without touching you too if you breathe on me.’ ANGELUS!~
~Stop the mental screeching, I can hear you just fine.~
~You told the cute one that after meeting him I was thinking of becoming lesbian!~
The demon snickered. ~Come on Hazel. The look on his face was priceless. Made up for it. Admit it.~
Cordelia Chase dug deep into herself to find any vestiges of hope against his claim, but she couldn’t help the satisfactory smile from stretching across her wide mouth.
~Fuck you.~
~With pleasure Hazel. I know you like to have fun baby. Knew it the minute I met you.~
She shifted sensually on the bar stool, smirking softly as she twirled her finger in the glass of martini. ~You are so bad.~
~Bad like chocolate?~
She threw her head back and laughed, just as a man slid into the stool next to her.
“Changed your mind?”
Still heady with sparring with Angelus, Cordelia let out a soft defeated sigh. “How many times do I have to flush you to make you go away?”
This time it was Angelus roaring with laughter.
The bartender held back a smile at the gorgeous brunette laughing and then at the grumbling man ambling away.
It was nice to see an independent woman having a good laugh in the city of fallen angels.
***
Willow groaned softly, shifting deeper into the leather seats as she yawned. “Angel, we’ve been to fourteen different clubs. I’m tired. She must have gone home by now.”
“She’s not home.” Angel stared stoically out of the window in the backseat.
The rushing streetlights flickering like molten fire in his obsidian eyes. “I told Dennis to give me a missed call if she gets there and he hasn’t called.”
Cordelia was coming home; one way or another. Even if he had to club her over the head.
“Bloody hell, he is HER ghost Peaches. Do you really think he’d do your bidding?”
“I know an excellent exorcist.” Angel didn’t even have to look up to know the watcher was smiling. “Not you Wesley. YOU let her get away.”
“I most certainly DID NOT!”
Willow picked up Spike’s folded duster and draped it over her head.
“STOP!” The vampire snapped. “THAT’S MY CAR!!!”
Angel nearly climbed out of the window of the speeding car.
***
Cordelia had finally made it to the dance floor. After the bout of insults she’d dished tonight, Angelus didn’t mind letting her dance one dance after all. Just as long as the man kept his hands above her waist and away from her breasts.
Now while he watched the natural sway and grind of her body, he realized how fucking hard it was going to be to keep any man’s hand off her. And there and then he came to the conclusion that if any man had to touch her. It would be him.
Even if I meant going back to the soulful puppy dog.
~You imagining those are my hands Cor?~
The brunette smiled, her eyes closed as she moved with the man Angelus was nice enough to pick. Not a bad looking guy, she concluded, but damn. He was no Angel or Angelus for that matter.
~I plead the fifth.~
~That’s fucking hard considering I’m in your head smart girl.~
Cordelia was spun into a neat circle and she chuckled. ~Give me a break egomaniac. I’ve had a rough day.~
~Yeah. Mind splitting visions can be a bitch. Always feel like someone’s putting your head through a blender while you’re still attached to it?~
~Just about. Can you please not remind me; I’m trying to dance?~
~Fuck and I thought sucking slayer face was torturous.~
Her body instantly stiffened in the man’s arms and she was rewarded with a confused glance down into her suddenly irritated hazel eyes. Smiling brightly at the man she touched her forehead.
“Phew. Quick work out. Need some liquid nourishment. Be right back.” Before he could reply, she weaved through the late night crowd and made her way towards the bar.
~Blonde complex not restricted to the soul I take.~.
~Ooh, testy.~ Angelus leered viciously. ~Jealous Hazel?~
~FEH! Delusional Angelus?~
~Aww, come on Precious. Dru was always my favorite.~
Plopping onto a stool she ordered a glass of water. ~And that’s interests my macabre side how Fangy?~
~Well, she is a brunette. What does that tell you?~
~That you have a weakness for complete nutters?~
~No, that blondes don’t do much for me. If they did I’d still be playing house with my sire.~
~ Says the former Scourge of Europe. You don’t know the first THING about playing house Angelus.~
Cordelia took a sip of the water and smiled at the bartender. He was nice. In fact this whole club was nice, she concluded.
~Mental Note. Return without gossiping psychopath.~
~Still fucking present Scourge Cor. There hasn’t been anyone better than me and as far as playing house goes: it’s the meaning that changes, the words stay the same.~
~Eyowie. So buffy was what? Stand-in wife in training?~
~No. A quick fuck to get rid of the cobwebs. Angel had been celibate for decades. Go figure.~
~But a blonde?~
~Hey my dick doesn’t look at the color of THAT hair, babes.~
Cordelia snorted with laughter nearly spitting out her water. ~I don’t think that’s actually blonde Fangy.~
~And this is why I like you baby.~
Cordelia was about to speak when she caught sight of a dark head step into the club. “Oh shit! Angel. Five of clock!”
~Get out. Get out now.~
Forcing a smile at the bartender Cordelia stuck a bill to the table. “Is there a back door?”
The bartender raised an eyebrow and smiled crookedly at her. “You’re actually putting aside a confrontation lady? After the show you put on tonight?”
With a sheepish smile Cordelia muttered the first thing she could think of. “Father.”
Angelus was howling with mirth in her head and Cordelia kept her bright smile as she was lead around the bar and towards the back.
“Leaving so soon?”
Spinning around with alarm she stared into dark eyes then exhaled. “Oh. It’s you.” She nearly glared at the man she’d been dancing with.
“Yeah; I have work tomorrow.”
~Just fucking get out already Cor!~
She made one last integral mistake. ~Shhhh, he’s cute!~
He gave her an indulgent smile. “What do you do?”
Cordelia’s mouth spread into a wicked leer, her hazel eyes lighting with a feral glint.
“Me? Oh, I bathe in the blood of innocents and nail puppies to doors; you?”
Before she could see the widening of the poor boy’s eyes she was propelled behind the bar and towards the bartender holding the backdoor open.
He grinned at her. “Come again?”
Still flustered from the eloquent mental picture Angelus had painted, Cordelia only nodded before running out into the back alley.
~Angelus! You are just unspeakable!~
~Says the woman who wanted soulboy to lick off more than her fingers.~
~ARGH!!!~
***
“I’ve never seen such beautiful food all in one place. Just look at them. Sheep all of them.”
Willow let out a tolerant sigh before she took Spike’s arm gently as his blue eyes ran greedily over the swarm of people.
“Yes Spike. You are the big bad.” She reassured in her best momma-doesn’t-believe-a-word-you-say-but-agrees-because-you-can’t-handle-the-truth voice.
“Damn straight!” Spike completely ignored her tone as he grinned down at her. Willow had the decency to look cowed before his hand clamped down on hers and she was spun into his arms.
“Let’s dance some, shall we Red?”
“Aaaannngeeeeeel!” Willow’s desperate wail for help was drowned in the pulsing beat of the music as she was danced away leaving Wesley and Angel to head to the bar.
“You think we should help Willow?” Wesley watched the blond vampire dip the flustered witch in an elaborate move before dragging her back to plaster against his body.
“Yeah. After we find Cordy.” Angel motioned for the bartender. “Hey. You seen this girl?” Angel held up the picture.
The scrawny man raised a crooked eyebrow before peering at the picture. “Can’t say. A lot of girls come in here.”
Angel leaned over the bar. “Look closely. She’s a friend of mine, who ran off with my car and my credit cards and demon.”
His voice dropped an octave into intimidating. “Have you seen her at all?”
The bartender drew back slightly and frowned. “She’s your friend?”
“You have a hearing problem?” Angel shot back.
“No.” The bartender wiped his hand on a cloth and frowned. “She said you were her father.”
Willow tilted her head back in the fourth time Spike dipped her when Angel’s growl echoed through the entire club and everything stilled.
Spike raised a scarred eyebrow.
“Who turned off the tunes! It’s sex pistols you duddy wankers, for fuck’s sake!”
***
Outside, Cordelia frowned at the car blocking the Plymouth in its parking space. “What idiot…”
“That would be Spike.”
“You think he leaves the keys in the ignition?” She peered through the driver’s seat window.
“He’s a fucking idiot, but he’s not Angel.”
“Crap.” Cordelia glanced at her watch before she looked up. “Do you KNOW how hard it is to find a cab in this city?”
Before she realized what she was doing, she caught two fingers between her lips, her tongue curled and a sharp whistle cut through the silence of the night.
She stumbled on the sidewalk as a cab skirted the curb. “You need a cab lady?”
~Angelus?~
~Yeah baby?~
~Can I keep you?~
~Fuck yeah. But first. Let me teach you a little something.~ Angelus lead her to the back wheel of the Plymouth and she squatted down. She watched with a twisted smirk of fascination as her fingers slowly loosened the nozzle and let the air out of the tire.
~He also doesn’t have a spare.~
~Oh my god, you are so bad!~ She chuckled.
~Not yet baby. You still have that can of pink crazy foam from the mall?~
***
“Calm down Peaches, I’m sure she meant it in the most endearing way.”
Wesley and Willow choked on their laughter as Spike chuckled wickedly on their way to the car.
The seething vampire next to him had his fists clenched to his side, his jaw set in a hard line and his eyes screaming bloody murder. “Spike?”
“Yes sire?”
“Go play in traffic,” Angel growled before turning towards his car.
Spike screeched to a sudden stop and both his eyebrows shot up.
“Oh I don’t know picklepuss, it seems your Seer thinks it ought to be you.”
“What?” Grabbing spike by his shoulders, Angel shoved him aside and his eyes widened.
“MY CAR!”
Willow grabbed Spike’s sleeve and promptly exploded into a torrent of unstoppable giggles along with the blond vampire while Wesley tried his utmost not to pee in his pants with laughing.
On the hood of Angel’s beloved, shiny black Plymouth read the words “WANK” with an arrow to the driver’s seat.
In pink foam.
Silently, albeit with grinding teeth, Angel walked around the side of the car and fished out his spare key from his pocket. He was just about to reach for the key hole on his trunk to get his car towel when he saw the second part of Cordelia’s message.
The distinct script of her handwriting was all too evident in the words, ‘BLOWJOB FOR $5’.
With an enraged snarl he opened his trunk and grabbed the old towel. Slapping the trunk shut, he couldn’t keep the gold out of his eyes. “I’ll give her fucking blowjob!”
“Um…Angel?”
He turned to look at Wesley, the ridges rippling across his forehead.
The watcher winced at the look on his face. “You do have a spare tire don’t you?”
Spike dissolved into another stream of laughter when Angel’s face morphed.
The cheerleader was so dead.
***
“You think they’ve stopped looking for me yet?”
“This is my soul you’re talking about Hazel. He’s like the fucking energizer bunny when it comes to you.”
Cordelia’s eyebrow shot up at the prospect, her mind already playing various scenarios in her head as her cheeks pinked with the suggestion.
Sitting in the window of the all night diner she watched her own face, her bottom lip caught thoughtfully between her teeth at the suggestion.
“You’re fucking hopeless hazel.”
“Shut up!” She hissed, glaring at herself for being so damned transparent besides the fact that he was in her body.
“And you called him your soul.” She grinned. “Awwww, such brotherly love.”
“Fuck you Hazel. It’s not brotherly love.”
She chuckled and took another bite of her sandwich.
“You want more coffee sweetie?”
Cordelia looked up startled and met a pair of gray eyes. The woman smiled at her softly.
“Um no.” She shook her head. “Thanks. I’m good.”
“You need someone to talk to sweetie; because talking to yourself is not healthy.”
The brunette colored slightly and cleared her throat. “Uh, no just sorting some things out in my head.” She tried a bright smile.
“I’m okay. Really. I don’t have fantasies about my boss or play with myself in the dark.” Hazel eyes widened.
~ANGELUS!~
“I mean…I’ll go now. Thanks for the uh…coffee and…well, see you.” She all but ran for the door. ~Uffff! Crude much Angelus!~
He snickered and wrapped her arms around herself. ~Come on Cor. Lets go home and talk. I want my promised alone time now.~
Holding the coat around her waist Cordelia watched the horizon start to pink and a yawn caught her off guard.
~Mmm…okay, but first.~
~Name it baby.~
~Rocky road to go please.~