Part 3. SPIKE
If this was hell, I wanted a recount.
With a groan I tried to lift the dead weight on my eyes.
Shitty thing about hangovers, they make you want to die. Of course that would be hard for a bloke who’s already dead.
I groaned. The tremendous headache and the dull ache in my chest were making me weak. Not to mention I was hearing voices. I tried to raise my hand to touch my temple where I could feel the throbbing pain.
It was as if someone was drilling a bloody stake through my head. With a muffled curse I lift my head and forced my eyes to open. The dark walls swam into focus as I took in the unfamiliar surroundings.
Where the hell did I walk this time?
Then the smell of cinnamon and fresh blood floated up my nostrils and my eyes cleared. Bloody hell I was hungry.
“Sleep well?”
I turned my head a little too quickly and everything spun out of focus. Losing what little hold I had had on my body I tumbled down onto the floor tangled in the sheet that had been covering me. “FUCK!”
Two creamy feet stood before my face as I groaned into the carpet. The devil had pretty pick toenails. I followed the toes up soft ankles, a silver chain linked around the left and up shapely legs, my prospects of being in hell already looking up, and followed the line of the knee-length black skirt and a soft gray blouse stretched over ample breasts, a long column of bitable throat and a wide mouth before I met the hazel pools.
“Oh bloody hell.” Cordelia Chase. Even in my half fogged up brain I knew Cordelia Chase equaled LA and LA eventually computed to my poof sire.
“Say it ain’t so.”
An eyebrow arched and she squatted down to my level a mug of blood thrust under my nose and I almost gagged. “Drink this; I don’t want vampire puke on my rug.”
Sitting as upright as I could manage I squinted at her and took the mug from her. “I’m in Hell A?”
“Good guess.” She smiled wide, and I winced at the brightness. Now I knew what the poof meant about sunshine. “I didn’t know vampire hangovers were this bad.”
“It takes a while.” I took a sip of the blood and recoiled. “GAH! Wot the bloody hell is in this!?”
She sat down beside me her legs curled under her and smirked. “Blood, tomato juice, Jack Daniels and a spike of cinnamon.”
“You spiked my blood.” Weird didn’t being to explain this girl.
“It’s a vampire bloody-Mary, I think. I don’t know how I knew how to make it. I guess I’ve made it for Angel on a previous account which isn’t very encouraging by the way.” She frowned.
“That would mean I’ve seen him either drunk or hung over, neither of which I think is appealing.” And this explanation was supposed to make me drink this concoction.
“Are you going to stare at me all day or drink it already?”
I took an unnecessary breath before pouring the liquid down my throat. Even without tasting it I could feel my insides quiver, but the drink packed enough punch to shake the haze from my head. What was I supposed to do? Thank her?
I looked up to see her watching me hopefully. Ah hell. “Thanks,” I mumbled, hoping she wouldn’t hear me.
“No problem Spark.” She patted my shoulder and I suddenly felt like a little school boy.
Then I frowned at her. “Spark?”
“That’s your name right?” She got up and took the empty mug from me.
My frown deepened. “Spark?” Was she implying something?
She rinsed the mug as I stood slowly my hand pressed against my temple. What a really wanted to do was ask her if she could help me get off the bleedin’ rollercoaster, but she was wiping her hands and looking at me with a sheepish smile.
“Spook?”
My mouth dropped open slightly. “Spook! You forgot my bloody name!?”
She gave me a weak laugh. “Well. Among other things.”
“What bloody other things!? You forgot my NAME!”
She glared suddenly. “Hey! Stop with the pressure. You weren’t the only one.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean! A bloke gets a bloody soul and suddenly nobody knows who he is!”
She sighed. “Look, I’m assuming you haven’t been around here a while. You’re Angel’s little boy…”
“CHILDE!”
“That’s what I said…”
“NO! It is NOT the bloody same thing.”
She put her hands on her waist and glared at me. “Will you stop yelling; you’re upsetting my ghost.”
I fell into the couch my head falling into my hands. Maybe I’d walked into a portal and landed in an alternate dimension because suddenly nothing was making sense. I had the distinct memory of coming to the cheerleader, banging on her door and begging her to kill me a slayer.
Everything before and beyond that was a jumble of voices that my mind couldn’t process in my current state. The couch dipped and I smelled the fresh soap from her shower.
“Look. It’s been a difficult time here. I can’t remember a lot past the last few weeks and don’t ask me why because I don’t have answers, only questions and the only reason you’re here is so you can help me answer some.” I looked up to see the warm hazel of her eyes glitter with confusion.
“You got amnesia?”
She nodded. “Freaky huh?”
“Is this a bloody joke?”
She glared. “Does it LOOK like I’m Chris Rock?”
I couldn’t help smile slightly. “You’re built better.”
“Of course, but that’s not that point. The point is I can’t remember much and what I do remember is mostly from my journal, which is very pretty incoherent, or from Angel who doesn’t go past, ‘you’re a great person Cordy’. So help me out here okay. I nursed you back to health. I deserve a little payback.”
“I was drunk not dying.”
“Close enough.” She shrugged and leaned back in her couch.
I ran a hand through my already disheveled hair and leaned back next to her. “I’ll tell you yours if you listen to mine.”
“Deal.”
A hand was thrust under my nose and I almost jumped. This girl was bloody scary. Taking her hand I gave it a firm squeeze then pushed it away.
“Shoot.”
“That’s your name?”
My head fell back against the back of the couch and I closed my eyes.
Stake me now.
***
ANGEL
My childe was loose in LA.
I shook my head at the double meaning there as I walked out into the backyard as the sun disappeared.
Connor didn’t like the idea of living in the same hotel, but in a world he knew nothing about, he was smart to stick close to the only place that he could call home.
I knew the only reason he was still here was Cordy. I snorted softly. Him and everyone else. If it hadn’t been for Cordelia, he’d have lost all of them a long time ago.
I took a deep breath, letting the crispness of the night enter my body and replace the stale air in my lungs. Everything had gone so horribly wrong. It had been almost normal and then it seemed to crumble.
We never seemed to get a break. From losing Connor, almost killing Wesley and losing Cordelia in way that I’d never get her back were enough to make me reconsider the merits of fighting the good fight. But then that was never my choice was it.
Faith was right. Atonement really was a bitch.
Spike probably felt just as lost. I’ve had my soul for a while and it still doesn’t become any easier with each dawn or dusk. I could only imagine how hard it was for Spike right now.
“Angel?”
Can’t a vampire get a moment of peace? I suddenly realized why Cordelia had moved out. With a tolerant expression I looked up at Wesley as he stood a few feet away in the clearing.
That was when I realized. I had invaded his solitude. I should say something. “Wesley.”
The man stood there, his hands by his sides, the new moon casting shadows across his face.
What the hell do you say to man that took your son from you. “Nice night.”
“Yes.” He looked away as if unable to hold my gaze.
“Cordelia didn’t call?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
“I should go…” “I should go.”
Our eyes met.
“No you stay.”
“You stay.”
He took a deep breath. “I better get back to work.” He started to walk past me to enter the hotel.
“What is it that you do now Wesley?”
He froze, his head not lifting. “Pardon?”
“Now that you’re back. What do you do here?”
I saw his Adam’s apple bob slightly as he swallowed. “What I always did Angel. Research.”
“Maybe you should try something else. That’s not really your strong suit.”
He looked up sharply and I felt a stab in my chest at the panic in his blue eyes. I understood then how scared he was.
Not that I would hurt him physically, but that I would throw him out and I part of me wanted nothing more than to toss his English ass on the sidewalk. But Lord only knows I’d done unspeakably things and I was familiar with what he was feeling at that moment.
If I judged him enough to die then I judged myself the same way.
I knew what it was like to not have anyone to believe in you. I averted my eyes, a frown marrying my forehead as I tried to explain. “Maybe you should train Faith.” His eyes widened slightly his mouth parting in surprise.
“Be her watcher.” I shoved my hands in my pockets. “She needs guidance and we don’t have anything catastrophic happening. You should help her.”
“Angel, I don’t think…”
“You want redemption?” My voice was a little harder than I had intended.
His eyes didn’t waver this time.
“Help her. She’s more lost that you think and I’m no watcher.”
Sometimes a little push is all they need. With a nod, Wesley walked out of the courtyard and into the hotel, but the rigid tension had left his spine.
Vampire or human. We all had our demons.
~Some are luckier than others.~
I sighed. Woe is me.
~Call Cordelia.~
No.
~You want to.~
No.
~A call to say hi.~
No.
~She’s probably sitting in her frillies.~
NO! I growled my hands gripping the back of my office chair. I blinked. Oh hell. I’d already crossed the courtyard into the hotel and into my office.
No Angelus, I will not call her.
~You want her.~
Yes.
~You miss her.~
Yes.
~Call her!~
I reached for the phone.