Part 18
Angel lightly stroked Cordelia’s face with the back of his fingers. He could tell by her rapid eye movement she was dreaming. Her scent told him she was enjoying that dream. His lips grazed her earlobe. “Cordy.”
“Mmm Angel. Don’t stop.”
“Don’t stop what?” His tongue darted out wetting the patch of skin behind her ear.
“Don’t stop touching me. Please. You feel so good.” Cordelia clutched his arm, squeezing it in rhythm with her wriggling hips. “Please.”
“Wake up for me, Cordy.” He trailed moist kisses across her cheek until he reached her mouth. His lips brushed hers. “Wake up.” Her eyes blinked open just as he captured her lips in a fiery kiss. Their tongues battled for dominance as the rising sun peeked through the edge of the curtains casting shadows across the entwined couple.
She panted for breath unsure if she was still dreaming or not. “Angel?”
“Yes?”
“When did you get home?”
“Just now. Were you dreaming about me?”
“Yes. You were wonderful.” Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson. “How did Oz sitting go?”
“It was torture. I missed you so much. I kept picturing you snuggled in this big bed all by your lonesome. You looked so beautiful but very, very lonely.”
“I was. I spent most of the night tossing and turning. I guess I fell asleep eventually.”
“Stay home today. You can call in sick.” He nuzzled her neck, soaking in her warmth. “I want you in my arms.”
“I can’t. I have to go to school so I can finally break up with Xander.”
Angel’s head popped up. “You didn’t do it last night?”
“No and don’t look at me like that. You didn’t break up with Buffy either.”
“How did you know that?”
“She showed up last night.”
“I tried to but she kept changing the subject and then Oz became really agitated. Buffy thought it might be because she was wearing Willow’s sweater. I started to tell her but she jumped up and said she had to go. She said she didn’t want to upset Oz. She was afraid he might hurt himself.”
“I know. She told us. At first I thought she knew. I was bracing myself for the first punch but it never came. She dragged Willow off to another table instead.”
“Willow was there too?”
“Yes. When I showed up at Xander’s house to pick him up, Willow was already there. He invited her to come out with us because she gets depressed when Oz has to be locked up.”
“I thought you told him you wanted to be alone?”
“I did. That’s life with Xander. Willow or Buffy’s hangnail is more important than me. I was all ready to just tell him off in front of Willow when Buffy showed up. I know I have plenty of reasons to dump him without mentioning you but I was afraid he might bring you into it. I know that isn’t how you’d want her to find out so I decided to do it at school today. I had hoped I could talk to him when I dropped him off but Willow and Buffy asked for a ride home. One good thing came out of last night.”
“What’s that?”
“I am through feeling guilty about hurting Xander Harris.”
“I’m glad to hear it. He doesn’t deserve you. I am sorry it didn’t go well last night, for either of us but today is the day.”
“Damn straight. I will get him alone sometime at school today.”
“Are you going to tell him about us?”
“No. He’ll run straight to Buffy. I’d rather deal with his righteous indignation later.”
“His what?”
“When he finds out about us, he’ll be quick to point out that I’m a cheater and a horrible person. He’ll tell me how he never cheated on me.” She shrugged.
“I was never his priority. I was someone to make out with when he wasn’t falling all over Buffy or getting cozy with Willow. I’m not going to beat myself up over this anymore. I fell in love and I’m not sorry. I deserve to be happy. Have you decided what you’re going to say to Buffy?”
“Not exactly. There are no right words to say that will make it not hurt.”
“Are you going to tell her about us?”
“Yes. I want her to find out from me. After tonight I don’t intend to hide how I feel about you anymore. I won’t pretend I’m not in love with you. I’m not suggesting we make out in the library but I wouldn’t do that anyway. Kissing isn’t a spectator sport. It’s intimate. It’s private.”
“I agree but I doubt we’ll have to worry about that. I don’t think either of us will be welcome in the library.”
“We won’t at first but we’ll have to work together against the Mayor. They’ll need help.”
“They’ll need your help, Angel.”
“Hey. I won’t go back without you. We’re in this together. I won’t apologize for falling in love with you. I am truly sorry that Buffy will be hurt by this but if I had to do it over again, I wouldn’t change a thing. I mean in post-hell kind of way.”
“You’re doing it again.”
“Doing what?”
“Being so sweet that I have the urge to rip off your clothes.” Cordelia pushed Angel onto his back and climbed astride him. She sat up, her hands splayed across his chest. “I think you enjoy torturing me. It’s not nice to tease the person you love.” She leaned forward and dropped a kiss on his chin.
Angel gripped her hips. His groan ripped through the air as his hands connected with flesh. His mind quickly registered she was only wearing a t-shirt that ended at her waist and a pair of lace panties. “You’re evil.”
She rolled her hips eliciting another groan. “What ever do you mean?”
He reached up and tangled his hand in her hair. He crushed her mouth to his, her breasts pressed tightly against his chest. His tongue explored the deep cavern of her mouth, drinking her in, savoring her unique flavor. She whimpered in displeasure when he broke the kiss. “You need to go to school.”
“I still have some time.”
“If you don’t get up now, I won’t let you go later.”
She giggled as she peppered his face with kisses. “I don’t care if we have to lock up everyone we know but we WILL make love tonight.”
“I don’t know. What would it say about me if I put out on the first date? I wouldn’t want to lose your respect.”
She ground her hips into his enjoying the delicious friction. “I would never force you to do anything you didn’t want to do.”
“Will you still respect me in the morning?”
“That depends entirely on your performance.” She shrieked in surprise when he flipped her onto her back.
Angel stared down into her eyes. “I have had mmphf.”
She pressed her hand to his mouth. “If you choose to remind me of your vast experience at this particular moment in time, I swear I will describe every intimate moment I shared with Xander in complete and very vivid detail. You know he does this thing with his…” She smiled into his amber eyes.
“You’re so cute when you’re jealous.” She lowered her hand and lifted her head off the bed. She placed a kiss on the tip of his nose as her hands slipped inside his shirt, searing his cool flesh with her touch. Her fingertips teased his nipples, smiling as they pebbled.
A cross between a growl and a purr rumbled through his chest. “You’re so cuddly when you’re like this.”
He grabbed her hands, pulled them out from under his shirt and pinned them above her head. His eyes closed as he tried to will his features to shift. His battle was lost the moment her blunt teeth bit his shoulder.
She groaned into his mouth as he devoured her. His tongue plunged in teasing and challenging hers. She clutched his back. Her nails desperately clawed the tense muscles. She needed him closer.
One hand slid down her body and curled her leg around his hip. Her heat teased his hardened flesh through lace and cotton barriers. He rocked against her. “I want you.”
“Angel, let’s not wait until tonight.” She tugged on his shirt, trying to pull it over his head.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to have any regrets.”
“I can’t wait anymore. I need you now.”
He rested his forehead on hers. “As much as I want you and as much as it pains me to say, that wasn’t the right answer.” He rolled off her. His entire body screamed in protest. He draped an arm over his eyes and tried to think unsexy thoughts.
“You’re stopping? You can’t stop.” She climbed on top of him. “There has been way too much stopping lately. I can’t take it anymore.”
“Cordy, I know you don’t want our first time to be while we’re still technically involved with other people. I don’t doubt you want to make love but you’ll have regrets later. I can’t let that happen. This isn’t about finally making love to you, not for me. This will be our first time, a first of many I hope. I want to be with you, not just now or tonight but for a long time to come. I don’t know what I have to offer you. You have your whole life ahead of you and I’m selfish enough to want to be a part of that for as long as you’ll allow me.”
“Dammit Angel! You’re being wonderful again.” She took a deep breath. “I am going to take a cold shower before I go to school. I WILL break up with Xander today even if I have to announce it in the middle of the cafeteria.”
He smiled at her frustrated expression. “As soon as I can possibly get there without going up in flames, I will talk to Buffy.”
“What about Giles?”
“If you’re about to tell me you’ve been secretly dating him, I’m going to..”
“Shut up. I meant he’ll probably want you to Oz sit again.”
“I already told him I couldn’t watch him tonight.”
“What did he say?”
“He looked like he wanted to say something but decided against it.”
“So we are really going out tonight?”
“Yes. I don’t care if the hellmouth decides to open up for business. Our plans are set in stone.” He reached around and smacked her butt. “Now go take your cold shower. You have a loser to dump.”
***
“Hey Giles.”
“Cordelia, aren’t you supposed to be in class?”
“We had a substitute so I decided to cut.”
“You really shouldn’t..”
“What difference does it make? I’ve had all A’s and B’s in that class. I’m not going to fail so it doesn’t really matter if I skip it today.”
“I take it your parents haven’t relented.”
“Nope. I need to learn how to run a household and how to throw a dinner party for twelve. College is for boys and ugly girls who need an education so they can support themselves. Oh and for girls only pretty enough to marry boys who will never be able to fully support them.”
“I cannot believe your parents believe that.”
“Tell me about it. I’ve given up. No college for me. I don’t exactly qualify for financial aid.”
“They won’t even allow you to attend UC Sunnydale?”
“No. My time would be better spent at the country club. My mother thinks I should travel with her. There are some eligible men I apparently just have to meet.”
“They should be horsewhipped.”
“That’s how they were raised to think. They both came from money. Mother has never worked a day in her life and neither did my grandmothers. Women are meant to look pretty and be charming when the occasion calls for it. They hire other women to do the household chores and raise the children. I like nice things but that isn’t the life for me.”
“My offer still stands.”
“I know.” She stared at her hands. “I love being able to talk to you. Your friendship means a lot to me.”
“It means a lot to me as well. Who would have thought it?”
“It took me by surprise. The stuffy tweed-wearing librarian turned out to be a pretty great guy.”
“Thank you. The tactless beautiful young woman turned out to be a rather wonderful friend.”
“I would hate to lose your friendship.”
“Cordelia, if your parents continue to pressure you, you are more than welcome to stay with me. I have a guest room I never use.”
“I’ve been thinking about my future a lot in the past few days. My plan had been to humor my parents and hang out here with all of you.”
“Has your plan changed?”
“Yes.”
“Cordelia, is something wrong? You haven’t seemed yourself lately. You sounded like you wanted to tell me something yesterday morning on the phone and then when you were here, you seemed terribly distracted.”
“Nothing is wrong. Actually it’s the exact opposite. That’s the problem. Giles, I..”
The office door flew open. “Giles, I need to talk to you.” Buffy’s eyes widened slightly at Cordelia’s presence. “It’s important.”
“Of course. What is it?”
“Can we talk privately?”
“Very well. Cordelia, will you wait here a moment please? I would like to continue our discussion.” He ushered Buffy into the library and closed the office door behind him.
Buffy slowly walked over to the table. Her eyes kept glancing at the office.
“What did you wish to speak to me about? Did you run into Faith last night?”
“It’s nothing like that. It’s about Angel.”
“He told me how agitated Oz became last night. You were probably right in your assumption. Willow’s scent on another person would in all likelihood agitate him.”
“That’s not what I want to talk about. Last night, Angel was acting really weird. Actually he’s been acting weird for a while now.”
“Do you think he’s having an adverse reaction to the cure? He said he hadn’t heard anymore thoughts.”
“No. It’s not that. Well I think that may have played a part in everything.”
“Buffy, it might help if you simply told me what’s on your mind.”
“He’s pulling away from me. At first I thought it was my imagination but Willow sees it too.”
Giles removed his glasses and began polishing them. “You have both been through a lot. Perhaps..”
“Giles, he and Cordelia are becoming close.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“I saw them in her kitchen. They were laughing and talking. He’s turning to her instead of me.”
“I don’t see… Why are you telling me about this?”
“I want you to ask Cordelia to back off.”
“You what?”
“I know this is awkward but I can’t lose Angel, not after everything we’ve been through. I know I pushed him away when he got his aspect of the demon thingy. It was a mistake. He turned to Cordelia because I wasn’t there for him. Now it’s like he doesn’t need me because he has her. If she would just back off a little, he and I could work it out.”
“Why don’t you discuss this with her or better yet with Angel?”
“Cordy won’t do this for me. She and I don’t exactly get along very well. Hell she’s probably doing this because of me. As for Angel, he and I… We have a special connection and she’s messing that up. I just need time alone with Angel. I talked to my mom last night. I told her about Faith threatening him. She isn’t happy about it but I’m going to stay at the mansion with Angel until graduation.”
“I don’t think..”
“I just need you to talk to Cordelia. You two for whatever reason are friends. She’ll listen to you. Xander isn’t exactly happy with her being friends with Angel either. It messes up our whole group dynamic. We need… I need to be on my game right now. Please Giles.”
“I don’t feel comfortable with this.”
“But you’ll do it?”
He sighed. “Yes.”
“You’re the best. No time like the present I always say.”
“If I had a quarter for every time you said that, I’d be very poor.”
She winked at him. “Thank you.”
“Run along to class.”
“Later.”
Cordelia was sitting at his desk when he entered his office. “How much of that did you overhear?”
“All of it. Let me hear your speech. Tell me how I should stay away from Angel for Buffy’s sake.”
“You must understand she’s been through a terrible ordeal.”
“As if I could forget.”
“Cordelia, be reasonable. I have never approved of your friendship with Angel. You better than anyone knows what he did to me. How can you befriend such a..”
“Do you really want to know?”
“Yes.”
“Because I know that without a doubt if you were turned tonight and tortured me tomorrow, I would never blame you. My Giles would be gone. My Giles would never hurt me, at least not physically.”
“I’m not trying to hurt you, Cordelia.”
“Aren’t you? We’ve had one rule in our friendship. Neither of us tries to force the other to choose sides where Buffy is concerned. No matter how often she smiled sweetly in Xander’s direction to piss me off, I never asked you to intervene. No matter what she called me, I never asked you to defend me. I fight my own battles with Buffy. I have listened to every one of your lectures about how I should be nicer to her. I may have occasionally bitched at her in your defense but I have never betrayed your confidences or our friendship. I’m not sorry I became friends with Angel and believe it or not, I’m sorry that this hurts Buffy. I honestly never intended to. Unlike some, I don’t consider “how will my actions affect Buffy” before I make every decision. Giles, sometimes our decisions are made for us. Things happen without our realizing it until it’s too late to do anything about it, even if you wanted to.”
“What are you saying?”
“You’ve made the only decision you could. You chose to support Buffy. I knew it would happen.” She blinked back the tears that were stinging her eyes. “Our friendship was too unusual to last.”
“Cordelia, Buffy and Angel’s bond isn’t something I’m particularly happy about, but it will not be denied. I wish that wasn’t true. I truly do but I have learned not to stand in their way. I won’t tell you not to be his friend. Buffy and Angel will find a way to be together in the end. I’ve accepted that. If you’re his friend, you should too. Please don’t allow their problems to affect our friendship.”
“I gotta go. We’ll talk later.”
Giles watched her leave. He didn’t understand why Cordelia was so distraught but he did know he had hurt her. Buffy was like a daughter to him. He couldn’t say no to her when she needed him.
***
“Miss Summers, you actually wish to participate in this discussion?”
“Yes. Romeo and Juliet is my favorite play.”
“There’s a shocker.”
“Miss Chase, is there something you would like to add?”
“Romeo and Juliet is one of the most overrated plays ever written. They didn’t even know each other. How can you call that true love? Suicide, that’s totally lame.”
“It was love at first sight, Cordy. Maybe that’s not something you know anything about but when it happens, it lasts forever.”
“Yeah right. Forever wasn’t very long for them. I’m not saying love at first sight isn’t wonderful but then what? I mean if that’s all you got, it won’t last. They weren’t even friends. Aside from their last names, what did they know about each other? Love at first sight isn’t meant to be the high point; it’s meant to be built upon.”
“They knew they loved each other. If other people would just stay out of their business, they would have lived happily ever after.”
“Of course, it’s always someone else’s fault. Poor.. Juliet, ever the victim. Was she even there for Romeo? He had just accidentally killed someone; where was the support? And regardless of the circumstances, Romeo is a murderer. Acting like it never happened isn’t the answer. People need to talk, they need to resolve things, and they need support.”
“Well maybe she would have been supportive if given the chance.”
“Who exactly denied her the chance? Who stopped her from being there but her?”
“Well Juliet’s parents..”
Buffy practically growled at the girl sitting next to her that dared to speak. “Maybe she was scared, did you ever think of that? Of course not, you just..”
“Maybe she isn’t the center of the universe. If someone chose to be there for.. Romeo, maybe it had nothing to do with.. Juliet.”
“Yeah right. It had everything to do with.. Juliet. Jealousy is a very ugly trait. They were.. are soul mates.”
“Pfft. How exactly do you define soul mate, Buffy? What does it require? Is friendship even a prerequisite?”
“They are friends.”
“Are they? People can’t control their emotions any more than they can control the emotions of others. Things happen. We just have to deal with it when it does.”
“You obviously can’t understand. You’ve never loved someone so much that you felt like you wanted to die.”
“Listen to yourself, Buff. If loving some guy makes you want to die don’t walk, run like hell until you get as far away from him as possible. Love should make you want to live. It should make you feel like you could face anyone or anything. It should make you be willing to give up everything to be with that person and no that doesn’t translate into death. Giving up on life is stupid. If anything love should make you feel like you’re alive for the very first time and every part of your being should crave more. Dying is overrated. Look at Romeo and Juliet. Is that what you want your future to be? Dying for love may make for good drama but what point did their deaths serve? Did they save anyone? Did they make the world a better place?”
“That’s all for today, class. I’m sure Miss Summers and Miss Chase will be happy to pick up where they left off tomorrow.”
Cordelia grabbed her books and headed for the library. She was afraid to say anything else. Angel wanted to be the one to tell Buffy. She knew she should feel sorry for her but she was still too angry about what happened in the library.
She didn’t derive any pleasure in hurting Buffy but Cordelia wasn’t willing to sacrifice her own happiness to prevent Buffy’s unhappiness. Maybe she was being selfish and delusional but she loved Angel too much to give him up without a fight.
“Cordy, don’t think I don’t know what you were trying to do back there. You can spout off the virtues of friendship all you want but you’ll never come between Angel and me. We are meant to be together.”
“Your relationship with Angel is between you and Angel. If you have a problem, take it up with him.”
“I’m taking it up with you. You took advantage of him when he was vulnerable.”
Cordelia paused. “Excuse me?”
“He was hurting and you..”
“I was there for him, Buffy. Was I supposed to treat him like a leper because the rest of you did? What was I thinking by being his friend? Shame on me.” She continued walking towards the library.
“Don’t use that holier than thou crap on me. You were trying to take him away from me.”
“I know this may be hard for you to believe but I wasn’t thinking about you at all. Strangely enough I was only thinking about Angel.”
“I bet you were.”
“Look Buffy I wasn’t trying to steal Angel away from you. Things..”
“Oh please! This isn’t the first time you tried and it probably won’t be the last time. I thought you cared about Xander. I actually believed you when you said you thought you might be in love with him. I was so stupid. It must have been the fact that we were being hunted like animals that made me sympathetic.”
“Spare me your concern about Xander. You have always loved the way he worships you. He probably has a Buffy shrine built in his room.”
“So that’s what this is all about. You’re jealous of my friendship with Xander so you decide to get even by using Angel.”
“It was never about you, Buffy. I’m trying to feel sorry for hurting you but you’re making it really difficult.” She pushed the library door open.
Buffy grabbed her by the arm. “You need to make your D-cup brain understand that Angel is mine. We have overcome too much for a whore like you to come between us now. It doesn’t matter what outfit you wear or how much you pretend to care about him, he won’t fall for you.” She dropped Cordelia’s arm the moment Giles stepped out of his office.
“God Buffy. You are such a bitch.”
“Cordelia!”
“Giles, I..”
“I had hoped the two of you would be able to work out your differences in a civil manner. We have work to do. Buffy needs to train right now. Perhaps you should just go home, Cordelia. I will speak to you about this later.”
Buffy waited until Giles disappeared into the stacks.
“I don’t need your pity, Cordy. We both know that Giles and Xander would do anything for me because I’m important to them. They’d drop you from their lives in a heartbeat if I so much as snapped my fingers. You may have Angel fooled right now, but it won’t last. He and I are meant to be and no matter what you throw at him he’ll never be yours. So why don’t you do yourself a favor and don’t embarrass yourself by going after what’s mine. Angel loves me and we will work everything out. You’re just a speed bump in our lives. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.”
Cordelia didn’t argue. She just left.
Buffy heard footsteps. She expected Giles to appear. “Angel.”
Angel didn’t respond. He silently walked past her intent on catching Cordelia. He paused in the doorway. “Do you want to test your theory on me? Go ahead and snap your fingers.” He didn’t look back as he pushed the door open and walked out.
Buffy stood there in stunned disbelief.
***
“Cordelia!” She stopped but he couldn’t reach her. He couldn’t hold her. Angel stayed in the shadows while Cordelia stood bathed in sunlight. She didn’t turn to face him. “I heard what Buffy said to you.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“She had no right to talk to you like that?”
“Doesn’t she? I stole her boyfriend, whether she knows that or not doesn’t seem relevant.”
“You didn’t steal me. We fell in love.”
“Did we?”
“Of course we did. What are you saying?”
“What Buffy said may have been cruel but it was also true. I claim to value blunt honesty.”
“It wasn’t true.”
“She was right about Giles and Xander.”
“I’m not them. I came after you. I left Buffy standing in the library.”
“I have to go. I need to think.”
“Wait!” He could feel the burning rays from the sun centimeters away from his unprotected flesh. “Please. Come over here so we can talk.”
“Maybe there was a reason we never went too far, why we kept being interrupted. Maybe it was fate’s way of telling us we weren’t meant to be.”
“That’s crap and you know it.”
“Then why haven’t we ended our relationships yet? We kept putting it off, making excuses. Maybe we knew what would happen in the end. Maybe we both should think about that before we do anything else.” Cordelia walked away, her feet moving quickly.
She ignored the way Angel shouted her name and the way every cell in her body begged her to turn around and run into his arms.
Angel cursed his inability to go after her. He paced the edge of the shadows like a caged tiger. He knew he had to go after her. He was not going to allow fear to end the best thing that ever happened to him.
“Angel?”
His body tensed at the sound of Buffy’s voice. He tried to remind himself that a part of him still cared for the petite blond. Right now all he saw was the girl who chased Cordy into the sunlight.
“Can we talk?”
“I don’t think talking right now is a good idea.”
“I’m sorry that you heard that.” She stepped back under his harsh glare. “I’m sorry for what I said to Cordelia. It’s just I’m scared. I feel like I’m losing you. I know this sounds selfish but I’ve always felt like I was your whole world but lately, I feel like you don’t even see me. I saw the two of you laughing in her kitchen and it hurt. She knew you’d enjoy a hot fudge sundae and I didn’t. Why is that? I’m still your girl, aren’t I?”
Angel’s shoulders sagged as the tension in his body was replaced by guilt. “I never meant to hurt you, Buffy. You weren’t there, not that I blamed you. I never deserved you in the first place. Then Cordelia was there and she offered her friendship unconditionally. I never knew I could have something like that.”
“I understand. I mean I have Willow and Xander. I can learn to accept your friendship with Cordelia. We can work through this, Angel. I love you.”
“You were the first girl I ever loved. I never thought that would happen to me.”
She smiled.
He turned to face her, his eyes pleading for understanding. “I never imagined it could happen twice.”
“What?” Buffy’s hand flew to her stomach as her world started to shake.
“I didn’t see it coming. We just connected.”
“This is some kind of sick joke, right? You can’t be serious. You cannot stand there and tell me you’ve fallen in love with Cordelia Chase.”
“I’m sorry, Buffy. I never meant to hurt you.”
“So all this time you were screwing her behind my back? I thought Faith was the only whore I needed to worry about.”
“Cordy is not a whore.”
“No she’s the perfect saint who’s fucking my boyfriend.”
“We haven’t..”
“Spare me the gory details, Angel.”
“Buffy, I..”
“Don’t tell me how sorry you are. You aren’t sorry. I can see it in your face.”
“…”
“Wow. You’re not even going to deny it, are you? So that’s it. After everything we’ve been through, you’re just going to dump me?”
“I know this may be hard for you to believe but this really is for the best.”
“Oh god! I can’t believe you just said that to me.”
“It’s true even if it’s not what you want to hear right now. You will meet someone who will make you laugh, someone who..”
“Don’t! Don’t you dare…” Her shock had begun to wear off. Her tears would no longer be denied. “I can’t do this.” She ran off before he could stop her.
“Buffy!” Once again the sun kept him trapped but this time he knew there was nothing he could do to stop the running girl from hurting. He resumed his pacing. He wished he could help Buffy but he needed to get to Cordelia as soon as possible.
***
“Cordy, I went to the gym looking for you. I thought you had practice today.”
“It was cancelled. The season was already over but we still had the rally before graduation to practice for. Snyder decided he wanted us dressed properly under our gowns and cancelled it. I’m officially done with my high school cheerleading career.”
“But they let you keep the outfit, right?”
Despite her mood, she smiled at Xander’s playful comment. “What are you doing here?”
“Giles has been trying to call you. Is there any reason you weren’t answering your phone?”
“I don’t want to talk to him.”
“What’s going on? No one knows where Buffy is. Giles looks like someone just ran over his puppy. Oz seems to have misplaced everybody’s favorite vamp. He picked him up here since he has a free class at the end of the day but Angel disappeared once they got to the school. He and Buffy are probably off making out somewhere. Willow won’t say why but she’s worried about her. She wanted me to find you and ask you what happened earlier. Giles would only say you were arguing about something. I pointed out how that happens all the time but they’ve decided today was the day to be weird about it. Do you know where they are?”
“No.”
“What were you fighting about?”
“Romeo and Juliet.”
“Damn that Will Shakespeare. He’s always starting trouble.” Xander sat down on the end of her lawn chair. He had noticed her red-rimmed eyes right away but he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject. “What’s the matter, Cordy? What really happened?”
“Xander, are you worried about me or Buffy?”
“Do I have to choose?”
“What if I said yes? What if I told you Buffy’s eyes are probably swollen from crying just like mine? Would you stay here with me or would you go after her?”
“Is there something wrong with Buffy?” He rose to his feet. “Is this about Angel? I may be slow sometimes but I’m not stupid.”
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”
“What? Is this because I’m worried about Buffy? I’m sorry if you’re not my only concern. Buffy is my friend.”
“Xander, I have never been your priority. Even when we’re alone, your mind is never focused on me. I turned my back on my friends for you.”
“I know. Cordy, I..”
“Xander, you’re not in love with me and you’re in no danger of falling in love with me. Let’s just end this now.”
“Is this because of Angel?”
“Yes… and no.”
“I told you before; it’s a waste of time trying to come between Buffy and Angel. Believe me I know.”
“At this point, it’s not about Angel anymore. Xander, we aren’t right for each other.”
“That’s it? You’ve decided.”
“I wanted to talk to you last night but..”
“Willow needed me.”
“That’s just it. I specifically told you I needed to talk to you. You knew I wanted to be alone but Willow and Buffy always come first.”
“Let’s talk about this. OK. I haven’t been the greatest boyfriend, but you’re my first girlfriend. Give me another chance.”
“Why do you want one?”
“Because I care about you.”
“I care about you too, Xander.” She leaned forward and clasped his hand. “I want to be your friend, but I can’t be your girlfriend. I don’t want to be your girlfriend anymore.”
Xander pulled his hand free. “If you think Angel is breaking up with Buffy right now, you’re deluded. He will take one look into her tear-filled eyes and he’ll crumble.”
She leaned back into her chair. “You may be right and I’ll be alone.” She wiped the lone tear that escaped with her sleeve. “I’m used to it. I’ve been alone for most of my life. I’ve been alone with you.”
“Stop. You’re breaking my heart.”
“Goodbye Xander.” Cordelia rose from her chair and walked into the pool house. She didn’t turn to see him leave. She grabbed her blue bikini. Her eyes burned from crying. She hoped a swim would cool her off.
***
Angel stood frozen by the edge of the pool. Cordelia’s lithe form cutting through the water kept him mesmerized. That and the bikini she wore. The tension that had built up slowly began to seep out. He had abandoned pacing in the shadows shortly after Buffy had run off.
He took to the sewers even though he knew there was no access to Cordelia’s house. It wasn’t until he had gotten as close to her as he could that it occurred to him he should have asked Oz to drive him. He hadn’t been thinking clearly. He needed to get to her. Now that she was in front of him his fear drained away. He’d been afraid she hadn’t gone home. He knew the others would know the truth by now and might not be willing to help him find her.
He watched her swim back and forth, only lifting her head high enough to breathe. He decided against interrupting her. A part of him was angry at her for running off. He understood why she was upset but he didn’t like that Cordelia was so quick to distrust what they had together. He thought she trusted him.
Cordelia leaned against the edge of the pool, her eyes closed. The laps hadn’t made her feel any better. The moment the sun set her nerves had gone haywire. She wasn’t sure what made her more nervous Angel not showing up or showing up. She shivered as her skin prickled with goosebumps. It was almost like Angel was watching her. She glanced towards the house.
Her gaze locked with his. “Angel.”
“You ran off.”
“I know.”
“Did you break up with Xander?”
“Yes. Did you break up with Buffy?”
“Yes.”
“You did?”
“Why do you sound surprised?”
“I… I’m a little surprised to see you here.”
“I’m a little surprised to see you swimming instead of getting ready for our date.”
“What are you doing here, Angel?”
“My girlfriend invited me to stay with her while her parents were out of town. She gave me a key and everything.”
Cordelia smiled as tears filled her eyes. “Your girlfriend?”
“Yup. She’s pretty wonderful, except when she’s driving me crazy.”
“Does she do that often?”
“Yes”
“A swim might make you feel better.”
“What about dinner?”
“I’m not very hungry. I’d rather see you strip and get in this pool.”
“What would my girlfriend say?”
“I believe she just told you to get your butt in this pool right now.”
“Well I wouldn’t want to upset my new girlfriend.” Angel leaped into the pool, clothes and all.
Cordelia looked into his warm loving eyes once he surfaced. “I can’t believe you just did that.”
“You told me to get in this pool right now.” He braced his hands on either side of her, trapping her. “I love you, Cordelia Chase.”
“I love you too, Angel.”
