Three Vampires and a Princess 1-2

Title: Three Vamps and a Princess
Author: Scorched
Rating: PG, NC-17 in last part
Category: Humour
Content: S/C/Dr Family, C/Aus at end
Summary: Spike and Dru become parents!
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: AO & Cal’s place
Notes: Impress NO MORE CHALLENGES just yet
Feedback:Always nice

Part 1

“Mommy?” a six and a half year old girl tugged on her mother’s jacket sleeve impatiently, she wanted some attention. Yelling, a scowl, a glare any kind of attention would be nice; anything but another…

“Hush honey, mommy’s busy” her mother replied for the millionth time as she continued to chat on her cellular phone.

Deciding to try her daddy, the little girl leaned to the other side and tugged on her father’s sleeve. “Daddy? Daddy?” she pouted hoping for any acknowledgement she was there. Any kind of acknowledgement that wasn’t…

“Not now Princess,” her daddy told her absently, while he looked the waitress up and down appreciatively. Automatically he shook her little hand off the cloth, she might crease it.

“You could at least see what she wants” her mother haughtily told her father with a sneer that aged her classically beautiful features.

“I don’t see you asking her either, I thought you were busy” her father retorted in a deep voice, a voice that should have sounded protective to the little girl, but instead sounded full of spite and hate.

“I have too…” the little girl pleaded desperately to either one of her parents, looking from one to the other helplessly. She didn’t want to go too the bathroom by herself, it was too far away from their table at the restaurant. But if she didn’t go soon then she was gonna pee her pants and since she hadn’t done that since she was four, she didn’t intend to do it again. Her mother had yelled at her for ruining the expensive sheets on her bed, her mother obviously hadn’t cared about the monster underneath it that had stopped her from leaving the sanctuary of the soft surface.

Well, one day that monster is gonna be under her bed and then what will she say? Cordelia bit her lip, and stopped trying to get attention knowing she wasn’t going to get any. She peered in the direction of the bathroom signs and debated whether or not to go by herself. She was six and half, almost seven and that meant she was a big girl and she could do almost everything by herself. Not like her parents would notice she was gone anyways.

Hopping down off her seat, the movement making her pigtails bounce and her little pink sundress float around her skinny legs. She was a little too tall for her age, her legs and arms were skin and bone, her face was heart-shaped and full of mischief, her eyes were too big for her head. Her hair was always clean and up in bunches though she hated it and she hated the stupid pink sundress she had been made to wear.

“Stupid mother ‘Cordelia, little girls are supposed to wear pink’“ she mimicked her mother in a high-pitched and quiet voice dragging her feet as she trudged to the bathroom. “I hate pink; I like sky blue so there. Let’s see how she likes that!”


Cordelia pushed the heavy door of the bathroom open, still mimicking her mother and then her father too, in as deep a voice as a six and a half year old could manage. Her large eyes landed on a woman with big, green eyes and long, black hair holding a doll. Oooh! She liked the doll, the woman’s dress was weird but she liked the doll.

Drusilla’s eyes lit up when the little girl walked in, letting the door shut with a slam behind her and she stood transfixed as the girl stood there staring up at her, fearlessly. A half smile flitted across the vampire’s blood red lips as her fingers toyed with Miss. Edith’s hair.

“Hi” Cordelia said, totally not intimidated in the slightest by someone most adults avoided. “I like your doll”

“Do you really, my lovely?” Drusilla responded, eyes growing larger and fingers ceasing to stroke the doll’s hair. Using her free hand, she smoothed down her black, velvet corset style dress with a graceful motion. “And do you like my dress? I like yours, all pink. Little girls should wear pink”

“My mother says that too, but I want to wear sky blue and I don’t want my hair in these stupid pigtails. They hurt my head” Cordelia told the strange woman. She knew she wasn’t supposed to talk to strangers and this woman was definitely strange but she was talking to her. After being ignored for most of the night, it was nice that she was being talked too and even better that it was another girl talking to her.

“I like blue, like the sky; so pretty to look at” the vampire told her, the little girl was precious like a little princess and she wanted to keep her. Drusilla licked her lips as delicious, little thoughts floated in and out of her singing head. Her Spike always wanted a princess, now he could have two!

“What’s your doll called? Can I see it?” Cordelia asked in all innocence, having no idea whatsoever to who and what she was talking too.

“Oooh!” Drusilla purred, her tone coming off light and teasing, “I shall ask her if you can hold her”

“Yes please” Cordelia said excitedly and waited patiently as the woman spoke to her doll.

“Miss Edith” the vampire brought the doll’s ear close to her red lips, cooing softly. “Can the little pink princess hold you? She likes you she does, thinks you’re very pretty”. Cordelia knew the doll couldn’t talk back but when the woman nodded her head as if she were listening to the reply, she giggled. Drusilla held out Miss Edith to the hopeful little girl, another half smile flickered across her lips when Cordelia immediately held out her hands.

“Hi Miss Edith” she spoke politely as she had been taught “My name’s Cordelia Chase, but you can call me Cordy” came the polite but exalted introduction. She loved dolls and this doll was well taken care of and the dress was made in soft velvet. “I would love to have a doll like you to play with, my mommy keeps my dolls were I can’t reach”

Drusilla watched and listened as the little girl talked too and hugged Miss Edith, her little face bright and flushed with happiness. She was going to keep the little girl, she was going to be the little girl’s new mommy and then the little girl could have as many dolls as she wanted and wear sky blue if she chose too.

“I think the nice lady misses you Miss Edith” Cordelia said, she didn’t really want to give the doll back but it wasn’t hers to keep. “Here. Thank you miss, it really is a nice doll and I do like your dress”

“You’re a very sweet little girl, I would like to keep you all to myself” Drusilla replied taking the doll held back to her. “Would you like that? Would you like to be my princess?”

“I already have a mommy, but I like you better. I wish you were my mommy, you talked nicely to me and then gave me your doll to play with” replied Cordelia, wistfully.

“Mmmm… I should love to be your mummy little princess, you could wear sky blue and you could be all mine and play with Miss Edith” Drusilla persuaded, she looked deep into the little girl’s eyes with her hypnotic gaze, sending Cordelia into a trance. “All mine my sweet, we could play all day with Miss Edith and we could have tea parties with my Spike and Daddy would be ever so taken with you”.

“Okay miss, you can be my new mommy” Cordelia stated in a distant voice, unable to tear her eyes away from the other woman’s gaze. The green seemed to glow a pretty, sparkly orange and she couldn’t stop staring. Drusilla shortly broke the hypnotic spell, Cordelia blinked and shook her head a little as she came back to herself, realizing she still hadn’t gone to the bathroom.

As soon as that thought entered her head, she immediately became incredibly desperate and began bouncing up and down on the spot. “I gotta go!” Cordelia yelped out when she couldn’t hold it in anymore and dashed into a cubicle.

Drusilla blinked once and the little girl had disappeared, she would wait here for her and she would come back then she was going to take the girl home with her where she could be a princess and wear sky blue. She was going to have a little girl, all for her and no one else.

Part 2

Spike pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling smoke out of his mouth; he had to give it to her, she had given him a headache in record time. He was supposed to take her out for dinner at a nice, posh restaurant just like she asked of him and he had come out a dad! Was it him or were men only supposed to become dads after nine months of exquisite, hormonal torture?

Drusilla walked alongside him, one hand holding Miss Edith and the other hand firmly holding the little girl’s. Both were chatting happily between each other, completely ignoring him as though he didn’t exist. Thank God for small mercies!

“Where’s my new home mommy? And why is daddy growling like a big grumpy dog?” Cordelia asked, skipping in time with her new mommy. She loved her new mommy, she had gotten more hugs and kisses off her in one hour than she ever did off her old, stinky mommy.

“Oooh princess!” Drusilla purred teasingly “You have a big, new home all made of stone and you can have your own room my sweet. You’ll have to show Daddy how so very sweet you are, Princess. You have given me cuddles and kisses but not Daddy”

Spike’s headache increased when he immediately felt a tugging on his denim jacket sleeve, he had a 4 foot nothing feeling what it was! “Daddy! Daddy!” came an excited, little squeaky voice from his ankles. Halting his walk, he looked down and directly into two very large, blinking hazel eyes.

“What?” he asked with a little snap in his voice.

“Spike! Be nice to princess” Drusilla scolded harshly with a shaking finger at him.

Cordelia raised her arms and made a little ‘pick me up’ sign with her hands, “Please Daddy? My feet are tired!”

“Fer cryin out bloody loud!” Spike ground out quietly, flicking his fourth cigarette away as he bent down and picked the little girl up under her shoulders. He forced himself to repress a little grin when he received a little kiss on his cheek for his trouble.

“Thank you Daddy” Cordelia leaned her head on his shoulder, her old daddy never picked her up like this, he just said that she would wrinkle his suit. “I love you and mommy”

“That’s nice pet” Spike continued to walk, subconsciously taking care not to jostle her.

“Awww…!” Drusilla cooed so very happily, “My Spike being all sweet to his little girl, you have your very own special princess”

“That’s nice poodle” the blonde vampire replied, refusing to believe she had done this to give him a princess! A puff of hot breath on his cheek signalled a yawn from the thing in his arms and he felt that thing snuggle her head down into the crook of his neck. Great, just bloody great!

“Awww! She’s going to sleep Spike, look at how sweet she is” Drusilla cooed quietly, stroking Cordelia’s pigtails with a gentle, peaceful touch he only ever saw done to Miss Edith. “We have our very own little girl, she loves her mummy she does and she’s taken a fancy to Miss Edith. We shall have to get her lots and lots of dolls to play with. We shall have lovely tea parties my Spike, with Daddy and grandmummy and Miss Edith can bring her friends…” her voice trailed off in a longing whisper as she began to ramble about all the things she could do with the little girl.

All Spike could think was what on Earth Angelus and Darla were going to make of this little addition to the family. He dreaded to think!


Darla and Angelus stood in silence, staring at the little girl looking back at them both; neither vampire knew what to think of it. The situation was surreal. Spike had taken Drusilla out to a restaurant because she wanted someone posh to eat and they had come back with a little girl. Angelus stared down at the little girl while Darla held her jaw in a tight, bone crunching lock. Both were stunned beyond belief, it was almost like finding out humans didn’t fear vampires anymore.

Cordelia was holding one of Drusilla’s hands and one of Spike’s, standing between her new mommy and daddy, her face curling up when she looked up into Darla’s stunned blue eyes.

“My mommy says you’re my new grammy” she stated, causing Spike to muffle a snort of laughter at the jaw-dropping surprise on her face. “Does that mean that the grumpy man is my new grandpa?”

This time, Spike did snort.

“What?” Angelus looked from Spike to Drusilla then returned his furious gaze back to the little girl who stood knee high to a grasshopper. “I’m not your grandpa you little…”

“Hey, I was only asking geez. Keep your wig on” Cordelia retorted haughtily, the man was just like her father’s friend. Angry at everything and everyone with a face that looked like a wet weekend, not that she was scared of him cus she wasn’t. Her daddy could beat him!

“Now now, Miss Cordy” Drusilla scolded the child with the same wagging finger that had been pointed to Spike. “You sharnt be rude,”

Raising apologetic eyes to her mommy, Cordelia’s lip pooched out in a tiny pout as she let go of Spike’s hand to hug Dru’s leg. “I’m sorry mommy but he’s angry with me and I haven’t done anything wrong… Have I?”

“No pet, he’s just a big ol grump” Spike assured the little girl just for the sake of pissing off Angelus. “Peaches snarls at every bleedin one, just ignore him and he’ll go away”

“What the hell is that?” Darla asked, her voice calm and even, as she finally found the ability to speak. Blue eyes searched both faces of Spike and Drusilla before she looked back down at Cordelia who looked back at her.

“Hi! I’m Cordelia Chase but you can call me Cordy but only if you’re nice to me” Cordelia exclaimed, not really liking the woman with the blonde hair. She seemed to be like her mother, beautiful to look at but not a nice person who didn’t like kids. Not that anyone could not like her, after all she was Cordelia Chase!

“That’s nice dear” Darla replied and immediately turned back to Spike, “You let her just walk out of the restaurant with a kid?”

“Don’t blame me grammy” Spike responded, no visible sign of sarcasm in his voice at all. “She went to the loo and came back with the little pixie”

“Dru honey” Darla started calmly “If she isn’t here for dinner then you take her back to her parents. You can not keep a kid” she did not want a kid running around the house, she did not want that particular kid running round the house. That kid kept looking at her with accusing, knowing eyes and she didn’t like it.

“Sssh grandmummy” Drusilla pressed a fingertip to her ruby lips “Not for dinner grandmummy, Miss Cordy is my little girl, my Spike’s special princess she is. Mustn’t scare my little girl”

“Dru” Angelus growled at his childe menacingly, unknowingly causing Cordelia to become instantly defensive. “I won’t allow you to keep this-this kid, she is not a puppy or kitten” he spoke to his childe as though he was talking to a child Cordelia’s age. How he kept calm, he’ll never know, but if that damn kid didn’t stop looking at him like that he was gonna… do something, what he didn’t exactly know!

“You can’t tell my mommy what she and can’t do mister!” Cordelia spoke up defensively and let go of Drusilla to fold her arms across her chest.

“I can’t?” Angelus asked, raising his eyebrows as the kid talked back to him. Most adults didn’t even have the nerve to squeak his name after being around him for more then five minutes. But this tiny little kid was talking back to him as though he were nothing.

“No, my mommy can do whatever she wants and there’s nothing you can do about it” she gave him a rapid, smug smile that curled the edges of her lips up at the corners. Then she stuck her tongue out at him in a way that even made Darla fight back a grin at the look of sheer disbelief on Angelus’ face.

“Your mommy does what I tell her to do little girl, if you’re staying here then you will also do what I tell you to do” Angelus snarled dangerously at the little girl and made a move towards her, expecting her to back away in fear.

“I’m not a little girl!” Cordelia barked back, she did take a step back towards Spike who, subconsciously, moved towards her side protectively. “I’m six and a half, almost seven, I can go to the bathroom by myself so see? I’m not a little girl, I’m a big girl and you’re just a big, giant meanie who bullies girls because he can’t pick on somebody his own size”

“I like this kid” Spike choked out through laughter brought on by her little speech to his grandsire. She was worth keeping around just for the enjoyment of having a six year old, four foot nothing talk back to a 240 year old vampire who had slaughtered hundreds. Angelus’ expression was priceless, his eyebrows had reached unprecedented heights, and his jaw was opening and closing while he blinked rapidly.

Darla was just looking from the kid, to Drusilla to Spike and then back to the kid again. She didn’t like this one little bit, but if the kid could keep Drusilla busy and out of her hair then she could live with it. It being a scrawny little brat with a mouth too big for her own good. Besides, Drusilla would probably get bored of the kid soon enough and have her for dinner or something.

Cordelia, unaware of the different thoughts about her, looked up at Spike with a super, toothy grin that made him smile back before he could stop himself. She raised her arms again and he immediately responded by picking her up. “I like you too, daddy” she replied shyly with another yawn, “I’m tired now mommy, you said I could have my own room can I see it now?”

“Course you can ducks” Spike replied before Drusilla could, he ruffled the top of her head causing her to frown at him and tell him to stop it. “Come on poodle, let’s show Princess here her new room luv”

“See my pet?” Drusilla cooed, forgetting all about Angelus and Darla as she concentrated on Cordelia. “Daddy likes you now you’re being sweet, you shall be tired and you should go to bed like all good girls”

“But I’m not a girl mommy, I’m a princess” Cordelia corrected happily snuggling into Spike’s rapidly protective hold on her.

“Right you are pet; and all princesses need to have bedtimes and you’re up past yours” he told her firmly. He could get to like this, Angelus was speechless and Darla seemed to be the one with the headache for once. That, he could live with!

“Okay daddy, I’ll be a good princess and go to bed but only if you and mommy tuck me in and tell me a bedtime story” came the little, sleepy reply.

“Ooooh, I can tell you a bedtime story my sweet, it’s about a special princess and her new mummy…” Drusilla cooed, shooing Spike towards the stone staircase inside the mansion. The vampire’s voice could be heard talking softly as she told a made-up story to the little girl.

“Angelus…” Darla turned to Angelus the instant the others were gone, her face full of restrained anger, shock and hatred for the little girl.

“What?” Angelus spat at his sire, he was growing tired of her constantly berating him for everything Drusilla did. So what if he was the one who turned her, so what if he was the one who drove her insane; Drusilla was still a grown woman so how was he to blame for everything she did?

“You know what. You can’t allow her to keep the kid” Darla barked back, verging on out and out fury. That damned kid raised her heckles and she had no idea why.

“She’ll get bored of it soon enough Darla,” Angelus responded, already bored with a situation he had no control over. “Besides, I thought you would have been glad to have Dru outta your way for a while” he told her silkily as he brushed past her to sit down on the couch. He made sure his large, masculine frame took up most of the couch so his sire couldn’t sit down.

Darla clenched her hands into fists and grit her teeth together, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “Are you saying we shouldn’t go up those stairs right now and kill it?” she asked just to be certain that is what he was saying to her.

“Why bother? Dru will just get bored of it soon enough” Angelus replied carelessly, glancing tauntingly at the blonde vampire. “What’s eating you Darla? Is it the fact that you hate the kid or is it the fact that Dru isn’t giving you her full attention?”

“You can not be insinuating that I’m jealous of a snotty nosed brat?” Darla yelped in shock at her childe. With a shake of her head, she dismissed the entire conversation instantly. “Forget it, let Dru keep it and as you say it’ll keep the lunatic out of my way and she’ll tire of it soon” her mood then performed a total 180 on Angelus.

“What’s say you and I take a long, moonlit stroll in the park lover?” she purred, anything to get out of the damned house and away from faint story-telling voices.

“I like the way you think, love” Angelus purred back, his mood also doing a 180 and lightening with the prospect of eating something young and innocent. Drusilla had some good ideas now and then; a young, innocent brunette sounded delicious right about now! And it just so happened there was one upstairs… No! The vampire shook his head, he was going to leave Drusilla and Spike to their own devices, let them deal with the kid.

“Come on then, lover” Darla brought him out of his thoughts, “Surprise me”

Part 3

Posted in TBC

1 thought on “Three Vampires and a Princess 1-2

  1. This story is really cool and mega funny!!!
    I hope you keep writing the story!
    That would be really awesome!!!

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