Author: Ficbitch82 (aka Angelicgal82)
Disclaimer: The Characters aren’t mine…DUH…they belong to Evil Genius Joss…
Notes: This is the confrontation I always wanted to see but never got to…it pretty much just went in whichever direction my twisted little mind took it so it’s probably weird… It’s a different sort of ending I guess to where Angel fires the gang. Cordelia acts…differently…
Feedback: Silly question 😉
Unemployed, made redundant, fired. Whatever you wanted to peg it as, that was the label Cordelia Chase, self professed Queen of Mean now wore. But it wasn’t that that bothered her.
Sure, she was pissed. NO ONE, but NO ONE fired Cordelia Chase and got away with it. What bothered her more were…events leading up to her being ‘relinquished of her duties’. After all, no one was more tied to Angel than she. These were HIS visions that she had, he had to keep them.
And yet he wasn’t. He’d got rid of them, poof! Gone! Out of his life quicker than he could blink with all his vampiric speed.
Darla. Wanna give it a label? There it was. Blonde, bitchy and psychotic to boot. ~Kind of like Buffy, with fangs.~ Thought Cordelia, dryly.
She sat there, a glass of water clutched tightly in her hand, her knuckles growing white around the edges as she stared at a box. A box of belongings that had accumulated at the Hyperion hotel for almost six months now. As she sat, Cordelia grew more and more angry…and then she knew…she knew what she had to do…
Axe. Check. Stakes. Check. Sword. Check. Every weapon known to man that can do serious damage to Darla, check. ~I’m tired of waiting.~ Thought Cordelia, ~It’s been a week and no change. I’m doing what HE can’t.~
“What are you doing?” The cold voice from behind her came sooner than she expected, but it came nonetheless. Cordelia didn’t answer him, kept packing weapons into the duffel bag she’d brought along with her.
“What you can’t.” Picking up the bag, she turned and pushed passed him, more than satisfied with the shocked look on Angel’s face. A part of her was hopeful, something had actually got through to him. But, her hope was short lived as Angel appeared in front of her at the door.
“What, Darla?” He asked, his face a mask of hardness.
“What do you think, Angel?” She asked, calmly. “Oh, hang on…you’re ‘Joe I’m Too Wrapped Up In Myself To Even Notice’ so I guess you don’t think anything. Let me past.”
Angel snorted, “To what, kill Darla? This I’d *love* to see, Cordy.” He smirked, “You, fighting a vampire who’s lived centuries longer than you ever have or will…she might just…wrap her hand around your throat and squeeze the life from you.” He whispered, slowly circling her, his prey.
“Or maybe, she’ll drain you…turn you into one of us.” Angel stared at her, “You ask me why I can’t kill Darla? How can you kill someone who gave you a real life? A sense of purpose, of direction.”
He saw that his words were making Cordelia upset and continued, “You expect me to be heartless and end her life in an instant. Someone I spent 100 years with…I’d love to watch you do that to someone you cared about but hey, that’s not the Cordy way…she’s too wrapped up in herself to notice others and their feelings.”
Cordelia stared at him, incredulously, realisation dawning. “Oh…” She said quietly, “You could end her life for Buffy though, right?” She whispered.
There was a twinge, somewhere inside Angel, but not much of one and he watched as Cordelia continued, “I mightn’t have spent a hundred years with you, Angel.” She whispered, “But you’re the one who gave *me* a real life, loved me and cared for me. So now, I couldn’t just end your life but…” Cordelia sighed, “You’re right. I haven’t noticed my best friend going down hill for the past three months. I haven’t noticed that everytime I look at him he gets a little more distant…he goes inside somewhere that I can’t reach anymore.” Looking up, wearily, she shook her head, “Let me past Angel.”
“No. You’re not going out there it’s too…”
“What? Too dangerous?” She laughed, “Oh, please! Like YOU give a crap. You haven’t cared for months Angel. EVERYTHING has been about Darla, everything. You’re too wrapped up in your own world to notice that things around here are falling apart…you think it’s dangerous out there?” She asked, gesturing towards the window, “I’ve been getting the feeling for weeks that it ain’t safe in here…you’re a time bomb Angel and I don’t wanna be around when you blow.”
Slowly, a smirk passed across his face, “Maybe you’re right.” He whispered, arms sliding around her waist, “Maybe it isn’t safe in here.” Cordelia watched as he morphed into demon form, baring his fangs, his arms squeezing tight around her waist.
For Angelus, the bitter smell of defeat was something he’d treasure forever. For Angel, it was tainted with disbelief, his Seer was giving up?
“Go on.” She said quietly, “Do it. Kill me, feed from me.” She whispered, “I won’t beg for you to let me go. I won’t cry and scream. I won’t feed Angelus’ little quim’s.” Cordelia stared him in the eye. “Do it.”
And it was Angel who listened to her say that she would let him drain her of her blood but wouldn’t pander to Angelus’ inate feeding on human fear. It was Angel who paled in the knowledge that he had drove the one person who perhaps he loved the most…to this. He went to speak but the words wouldn’t come out.
So instead, he took hold of the back of her neck, watched as she waited for him to drain her of her life but he didn’t, nor was he ever going to do that to her. Instead, his face morphed back into human form and he leaned down, gently kissing her lips…
At first, Cordelia leaned into the kiss then, assuming this was all some sick game, pushed him away forcefully. “No!” She yelled. It was then that Angel noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks, “What is this? Some sort of sick game? Let me guess, like one you played with Buffy, huh?” She asked coldly. Angel saw he was losing her and grabbed her arm, “Cordelia…please…” He whispered.
Pulling her arm away, Cordelia shook her head, “No. We’re not friends.” She said quietly, “You stopped being my friend a long time ago…and whatever friendship we had left tonight finished when you…did whatever the hell you just did.”
Cordelia picked up the duffel bag, “Are you going to move?” She asked. “I have to get out of here…”
“Are you going to go after Darla?” He asked, worried.
For Cordelia, this was it. The thing that made her realise…
“That’s all you care about, isn’t it?” She asked, “Gee, Angel, what is it with you and blondes?” Cordelia was angry, and hurt and a whole other barrage of emotions she didn’t want to think about right now, “You know, I tried to kid myself but…fact is, I love you. I’m in love with you and tonight just proved what kind of relationship we actually have or ever will have.”
“And what’s that?” Asked Angel, his throat suddenly dry.
“None.” She replied, “Because you *don’t* love me. Because you *can’t* love me, ever. Not the way I want you to and certainly not the way you think you do.” Cordelia paused and stepped round him, dropping the duffel bag. As she got to the door, she spoke again, “I never thought I’d envy Buffy.” She said quietly, “But at least at some point in her life, she actually had you. I’ll never get that, will I?”
And with that Cordelia left. She didn’t wait for an answer. She didn’t wait for him to walk after her, catch up with her and swing her into his arms, rain kisses down on her face. She just left.
“Did I ever apologise?” He whispered, watching as she cradled his son in her arms.
Cordelia looked up, “For what?”
“For what I did to you that night…for…scaring you, for not coming after you.”
“No. But I’ll live.” Said Cordelia with a smile. “Besides, who said I was scared?” She teased. Connor stirred in her arms and she looked down, gently soothing him back to sleep with soft words.
“Did you know I loved you?”
“Well, yeah…but it never hurts a girl to hear it again.”
“I love you.”
“Wh…mph!” He kissed her.