These Things Happen

Title: These Things Happen
Author: Sunscorched
Posted: 07/03
Rating: N-17
Category: Humour
Content: C/Aus
Summary: Sequel to Things Uncommon
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: AA/GT/NF, anyplace else just ask.
Thanks/Dedication: I hope this satisfies all you who wanted a sequel, hope you enjoy! Dedicated to my loyal fan Darla. So I’m big-headed, sue me!

“I’m in trouble now aren’t I?” Cordelia asked nervously when Angelus turned to face her. She was now alone with the vampire who had killed Jenny Calender, the vampire who was making Buffy’s life a misery and she had no way of escape.


“Depends what your idea of trouble is Cordy” Angelus replied, throwing the key to the front door away. Her fear was making him light-headed, making her all the more appetising and he couldn’t wait for the main course.

“In that case, I’m definitely in trouble” Cordelia responded, her eyes flitting all around the room, looking for weapons and ways to escape. After finding none of either, her eyes finally settled on the vampire looking at her like she was his next meal. Which she probably was. There was only one way to get out of this, one way and one way only.


“I’ll give you this necklace back and a lifetime’s supply of hair gel if you let me go and don’t eat me” she offered excitedly. “Great offer considering you have a very long life ahead of you wouldn’t you say?”

“I’d prefer to eat you but not in the way you’re thinking” Angelus remarked crudely. He sauntered lazily her way, making sure to take his time and play on her ever increasing fear.

“I don’t taste good!” Cordelia panicked loudly, “I’m all skin and bones, nothing good here. Xander would be better to eat, go eat hi… Oh, that’s just wrong” her tone changed slightly when his meaning caught on. Now she had images of Angelus and Xander, “EEEWWWWWW!”

Angelus blinked away her weird noise and forced himself to ignore what she probably thought. He watched as she clamped her legs together, those thighs squeezed tightly shut that would be tight round his back. The skirt she wore riding up with her movements, showing the colour of her panties. He could feel his mouth watering as the prospect of tasting her, making her mouth water.

“Come on Cordelia” he said to her, leaning down so he was face to face with her. “Don’t tell me you’re not curious, you’ve always wanted me and now you can have me”

“Then I found out you were a vampire, a dead person and no dead person will ever get his lips on mine” Cordelia recoiled away from his face, kissing a dead guy was not on her list of things to do before she was 50. What did he think she was? A necrophiliac?

“Which lips am I not allowed to kiss?” Angelus brushed his nose against hers, letting his mouth come within centimeters of hers. Those lips needed to be kissed hard, they needed to be bruised and swollen from passion. He imagined those lips devouring the painfull erection he was suffering. What was it about Cordelia that had him so worked up? Why was he in physical pain from the need to have her? The vampire just figured it was the fact that to everyone else she was untouchable. To everybody but him.

“You have the mind of a sewer rat, get away from me you pervert! Eww, who knows how many worms touched your lips before you got out of your death bed” Cordelia yelled in horror.

Angelus pulled away from her slightly, “Thanks Cordelia, your sex talk is incredible” he told her with a look of genuine disgust. He touched his mouth lightly with his fingertips before rubbing them harshly. His eyes locked onto hers and he clicked that her words were that of a distraction technique. “You’re good,” his words brought a smug grin to her face. “But don’t think you’re getting away with that” her grin disappeared.

He untied the rope binding her hands and slung her over his shoulder, “Hey! Put me down you dead jerk! Put me down right now or I swear you’ll be sorry. Put. Me. Down!” Cordelia screamed and tried to fight him. Her position and lack of strength made it useless.

He loved a woman with spirit in her and Cordelia was doing her best to drive him crazy, all he could think about was getting her into his bed and having that body under his, screams pouring from her mouth. Angelus shuddered and a low growl escaped his own mouth as fantasies assaulted his imagination.

The bedroom door got booted open, Cordelia still shouting and screaming to be put down and Angelus getting hotter by the second. He tossed her onto his bed and looked at her intently. His chocolate eyes starting at her feet, the pretty blue nail polish decorating her toes. The anklet decorating her ankle, the curve of muscle on her calves and the way her thighs were positioned.

Angelus was offically a leg man.

His eyes roamed upwards, over the teasing glimpse of her flat stomach and resting on her breasts. The rise and fall of her breathing made her shirt tighten then loosen against the fullness cased in what he hoped to be her sexiest bra. His tongue wet his lips in anticipation of cupping them in his hands, touching the sensitive peaks with his mouth. He plainly wanted her.

Nothing more and nothing less, just old fashioned want.

Cordelia squeaked a little when the full itensity of what lay in his eyes reached her hazel ones. Eyes widening, mouth parting, no sound coming from her now as she looked right back at him. The leather of his pants fit all too well to his thighs and ass. His silk shirt hung perfectly over what she knew would be a washboard stomach. His chest had to be smooth and flawless.

Did she dare?

Oh yeah, she dared alright.

Cordelia gave him a little smile of some sort, an invitation for him to join her on his bed. She found the fact of being in his bed highly erotic for some reason and she couldn’t help but get aroused from that thought.

Angelus caught the scent of her arousal drenching the air, sweet and spicy at the same time and it made him want her more. Without wasting another second, he joined her on the bed and devoured her mouth, taking her breath forcefully. His hand moved under her skirt, up those thighs and cupped her, teasing her through the silk.

Cordelia pulled her mouth away from his, gasping in breath and tried to increase the pressure from his hand and increase the pleasure. “Oh yeah” she murmured to him encourangingly, “That feels good!”

God, she was being so responsive to his touch, arching her hips into his hand, telling him it felt good. He had never had a human voluntarily enjoying his touch and it felt damn good. Angelus used his other hand to push her shirt up, uncovering her breasts. With a little throaty moan, he suckled her aroused peaks through the thin, blue silk.

Cordelia’s hands wandered restlessly over his back before unbuttoning his shirt and touching his naked chest. Her head rolled back as she arched her hips more, moaning his name. Angelus yanked his shirt off, tossing it to the floor and returning to pleasuring her. His eyes snapped shut when she responded to each and every one of his physical demands.

They frantically unclothed each other, kissing desperately and touching everywhere. Angelus captured Cordelia’s lips with his as he penetrated her with a powerful thrust of his hips. He wasn’t prepared in the slightest for how she would feel surrounding him nor was he prepared for how hot and tight she would be.

It was just too much.


Angelus couldn’t even look at Cordelia much less say anything. Where arousal had streaked through his veins lay only shame. For once in his unlife, he was speechless. Completely speechless. What could he say to her? What was he supposed to say to her? He had never been so mortified or never felt worse than he did right now

Premature ejaculation was not supposed to happen to a vampire.

Cordelia bit her lip as she lay next to the silent vampire on his bed, tentatively peeking at him out of the corner of her eye. “It’s alright Angelus, these things happen to men all the time” she told him with a sympathetic smile.



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