Presents and Thank You Notes

Title: Presents and Thank You Notes
Author: Sunscorched
Posted: 03/03
Rating: PG-13
Content: C/Aus
Summary: Role reversal between stalker and victim!
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Notes: Follow up to Monkeys and Gravy.

Cordelia gently ran her detangler comb through her wet hair, “What to wear, what to wear” she muttered as she looked at her chosen outfits for that night. One was a powder blue dress and the other was a black, knee length skirt with a strapless silver top.

“I knew I should’ve gone shopping after school” Cordelia cursed, she had nothing new. That week anyway.

Angelus easily climbed on to her balcony, carefully placed his gift, an envelope and a single red rose on a chair. “I can’t wait to see what she looks like wearing this” he murmured. Cordelia Chase would be his and his alone.

He knocked on the door to her bedroom, jumped over the balcony and landed gracefully on the floor below. Angelus blended into the shadows and sat back to watch her reaction. ‘Yes, the fear caused by knowing you’re being watched and stalked’ he thought with an evil smirk.

Cordelia got up and opened her door, “Hello, can I just say I’m ‘trying’ to get ready. So whoever you are, go away” Cordelia hollered. Oblivious to the gifts on the chair and shut the door.

Ok, that wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to see his gifts and become creeped. Angelus picked up a small stone and threw it at the glass window to get her attention.

“Could this ‘be’ any more annoying?” Cordelia said in frustration as she answered her door again. “Don’t you people have anything better to do other than annoy me to death?” she yelled. Then she spotted the gifts on her chair.

“Ooh, secret admirer. Harmony’s going to be ‘so’ jealous when I tell her. I ‘so have to call her” Cordelia said excitedly as she picked up the rose first. “Someone has taste and a major crush on me. Let’s face it, who doesn’t?” she asked arrogantly. She put the rose down and picked up the envelope.

“Nice writing, one point for him, nice envelope aside from the faded yellow colour but who cares about that?” Cordelia muttered.

Angelus was clearly frowning, where was the fear he was supposed to be feeling? Where was the defensive posture? This wasn’t funny, she was supposed to be scared not jumping for joy at having a ‘secret admirer’ He was starting to feel creeped out now.

Cordelia opened the letter and read it out loud, “Cordelia” she read, “I can’t wait until I see you wearing my gift. Red, the colour of passion, suits you. A” she finished. “A” Cordelia mused thoughtfully then squealed in excitement.

“I just ‘knew’ Andrew from the football team would totally be at my mercy” Cordelia sighed then paused. “I suppose it could be Anthony from the basketball team who asked me to the dance on Friday, I just hope this present isn’t anything cheap” Cordelia shuddered. “Polyester cotton blend gives me hives” she shuddered again.

Angelus felt his jaw drop, it wasn’t Anthony or Andrew, he bought her the dress and it certainly wasn’t cheap. Did she really think he was cheap? Of course she didn’t, she didn’t even think it was from him. Angelus huffed and crossed his arms as he waited for Cordelia to get round to acutally ‘opening’ his gift.

Cordelia threw the note carelessly over her shoulder as she lifted the lid off the box. “Wow” she murmured as she fingered the silky material of the dark red dress, “This settles it. It was definitely Amos from the baseball team. Neither Andrew or Anthony have the taste of a gay man” Cordelia said as she held the dress up.

The gay comment did it, Angelus was not gay and Amos wasn’t her secret admirer. He was going back up there and tell her ‘he’ bought it for her. The vampire went to climb back up on to the balcony, just as he got there Cordelia shut the door in his face. Angelus growled and knocked on the door.

“Go away, I’m getting ready” Cordelia bellowed, “Before you go, if you see any of my friends can you tell them I own a new Prada? Thanks, now you can go away” she added.

Angelus paused in knocking again, this girl was really getting under his skin. He was starting to forgo all plans and just tie her up and take her with him. No, he was going to tell her he bought her dress and he wanted to see what it looked like. What she looked like.

He knocked again, determined to get her attention.

Cordelia flung her door open again and gasped when she saw the vampire scowling at her. ‘Think Cordy think, don’t show your fear’ she thought. “You shouldn’t scowl or frown you know, you’ll get wrinkles” she chastised. “Do vampires get wrinkles?” she asked.

“Uh” Angelus replied dumbly as he looked at Cordelia wearing her powder blue dress. Where was the one he had just given her?

“I know what you’re thinking. Anti-wrinkle cream just doesn’t have the same effect on vampire skin, right?” Cordelia asked and carried on without waiting for an answer. “Can you imagine how old your skin is? You were alive way back when and now you’re, like, 3000 years old or something” Cordelia rambled on.

“I am ‘not’ 3000 years old” Angelus yelled the only thing he understood.

“Geez, alright. No need to get snippy, issues much? What is your childhood trauma?” Cordelia demanded. “By the way, what are you doing here?”

Angelus recovered his composure, “I came to see you, I wanted to see what you would look like wearing the dress ‘I’ bought you” he murmured sensually.

“Oh right” Cordelia replied as she thought quickly again, “That was from you? Wow, I always thought you have the taste of a gay man but I thought it had more to do with your soul” she told him.

“I’m not gay” Angelus told her, “Why aren’t you wearing your new dress?” he purred. Surely his husky voice, sensual smile and lusty expression would make her swoon the way Buffy had. Ha, who was he kidding?

“Wear ‘that?'” Cordelia asked increduously, “Are you insane?” she demanded.

Angelus stared at the girl who just disreguarded his gift like it wasn’t worthy of being put on her body. “Didn’t you like it?” he asked in a low purr, trying to regain some control over the conversation. “Personally, I think it really enhance…”

“Of course I like it which is ‘why’ I’m not wearing it” Cordelia exasperated, “Like I would really waste it in some crummy place like the Bronze” she pointed out.

“And if you ‘are’ gay, I won’t tell a soul” Cordelia gave a fake promise, she was going to tell ‘everyone’ how Buffy had slept with a gay man. “Oh my God, is that why you live with Spike?” she asked, “Can you imagine the look on Buffy’s face if she found out your ‘perfect moment of happiness’ was caused by you seeing Spike’s face while doing the nasty with her?” Cordelia laughed. The image was funny.

“You’re evil so you would enjoy it. Hell, I’m not evil and I find it funny. So, are you?” Cordelia asked.

“Am I what?” Angelus asked, this was not what he planned for them at all.

“Gay. God, get with the program” Cordelia scoffed.

“No, I am not gay” Angelus repeated.

“You’ve never thought about experimenting?” she asked.

Angelus didn’t answer, what did she expect him to say, exactly?

“Hello, I’m waiting here. Have you experimented with Spike or anyone else?” Cordelia asked, now genuinely intrigued.

“NO” Angelus yelled in offence.

“Wow, you’ve been undead forever and you’ve never experimented?” Cordelia deadpanned. “That sounds boring actually” she told him.

‘Boring? I am anything ‘but’ boring. If I could get her to invite me in, I’ll show her how ‘boring’ I am’ Angelus thought. “I am not boring” he yelled in defence, ‘nice going, feared vampire my ass’ he thought.

“You must be. I don’t think one woman’s body can be ‘that’ much different from someone elses. I mean once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ’em all, right? I imagine you’ve seen a ‘lot'” Cordelia told him knowingly. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get ready. I’m already late and I ‘really’ want to get ready” she told him.

Angelus couldn’t think of anything to say, yet again the brunette had left him speechless. He was about to say something when he found her door shut in his face again.

Cordelia kept her cool as she strolled into her bathroom and shut the door. “Oh God” she whispered as she slid on to the floor, she now allowed her heart to beat wildly as she closed her eyes. Her second encounter with him had affected her just like the last one.

Angelus slammed the mansion door shut and sat down in a huff. “How’d it go with the cheerleader?” Spike asked.

The elder vampire just scowled at in reply, “Come on Angelus, tell Spikey what happened?” Spike was dying to know.

“She thinks I’m gay and boring” Angelus muttered and told Spike what had happened and how Cordelia had thought he was a secret admirer.

Spike was liking this girl more and more, she wasn’t playing Angelus’ game, she was playing him. “I’m sure you’ll get your pet mate” he soothed as he tried to keep from laughing at him.

A few days later, Spike was relaxing in the living room when there was a knock at the door. Grumbling, he got up and answered, the annoyed vampire growled when there wasn’t anyone there. He looked down and saw a pink carnation, a pink, scented envelope and a gift wrapped box. Spike picked up the envelope and saw it was addressed to Angelus. “Angelus something for you” he bellowed.

Angelus walked in from the kitchen, “What?” he asked.

“Present mate” Spike held up the box and shook it.

Curious, Angelus took the envelope from Spike’s other hand, “Angelus” he read. The writing was done with calligraphy and the envelope had a sweet scent to it.

“Well, open it you ponce” Spike urged, he was as curious as his sire.

Angelus opened the envelope and took out the neatly folded letter inside, it read:

Dear Angelus,

Just a quick thank you note for the dress. I wore it to my father’s dinner party last night. Can I just say it knocked everybody dead (not literally) and I looked gorgeous (as always). I still say you have the taste of a gay man, let’s face it you have qualities. You mix up contrasting materials, wear proper Italian leather jackets and probably even make sure your socks match. See, qualities.

Since you have these qualities I thought I should give you a nice carnation with a matching envelope. It seemed to fit with your vibe.

Anyway, since you bought that beautiful dress (my mother wants to know where you got it from) I thought I should return the favour. Not with a dress, do you wear dresses? Sorry, got off track. I wasn’t sure what to get a 3000-year-old vampire, I’m certain you don’t need any more socks. Do you?

Hope you like what I got you.

Love C. Chase.

P.S I got the most amazing pair of shoes to go with my dress yesterday.

Blinking, Angelus put his thank you note down and picked up his gift. Spike quickly snatched up the letter and began to read it.

Angelus stared at his present in silence, what the hell was the damn girl thinking? He opened the box and held the electric blanket in his hands. This was unbelieveable. He was being stalked by a 17-year-old girl and Spike was laughing at him.

Spike was clutching the letter in his hand as he laughed, he tried to speak but couldn’t. The cheerleader had humiliated Angelus again, this was too much for Spike.

“It isn’t funny” Angelus growled, this wasn’t happening to him, it wasn’t.

Spike could only nod his head, oh it was bloody funny all right, the dozy git had brought it all on himself. “Bloody idiot” Spike gasped before collapsing on the floor in tears.

Angelus just stood there holding the electric blanket, then an evil smile crossed his face. “This means my bed will be nice and warm when I get her into it” he said, trying to save some dignity in front of his hysterical childe.

End. For now…


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