Love Potion 1

Title: Love Potion #9 1/3
Author: Scorch
Rating: N-17
Category: Humour/Smut
Content: C/A
Summary: A challenge from Helen. Cordy’s drink gets spiked with a love drug!!
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: AO, Cal’s place, Lily’s pad
Notes: Just realised I hadn’t posted the first part yet so here it is!!

Part 1

Angel silently scowled deeply at the jewel coloured underwear settled over the heated railing in the bathroom. He brought his hands and made a choking motion as he envisioned his hands wrapped around her throat. Did she ever use her tumble dryer at all?

Every damned day he’d walk in to find either socks, thongs or bras over the damned heated railing and it was getting on his last nerve. He tried to give her subtle clues but they sailed right over that head of hers.

Her. The seer from hell. The Devil’s personal protege. The human version of hell. The woman that could get into trouble in a toilet cubicle. That-that woman who tried forcing him to go to the late show at the cinema last night after hours of endlessl torture that went something like this…

Last night…

Cordelia followed him round her living room table, trying to get his attention. “But Angel, it’ll be fun and it’s good to get out of the house. It’s unhealthy staying in night in and night out”

Angel stopped trying to run away from her and faced her with a deep scowl. “Cordelia, I don’t want to go out. I’m perfectly happy staying in, thanks but no”

“We can’t have you being perfectly happy again, look what happened the last time you experienced the moment of bliss” Cordelia used that to her advantage and made a not-so-relevent point.

“That only happened once and I didn’t even know I was going to go evil so you can’t blame me for…”

“I can too blame you” she cut his defence off quicker than lightening could strike. “You’ve been around for countless centuries and you didn’t know sex was bad? Geez Angel, even you can’t be that dense!”

“I’m not dense and I’ve only been around for two and a half centuries” Angel mumbled. “But I’m still not going out, I don’t want to”

Sighing in visible defeat, Cordelia’s shoulder’s slumped and her eyes were cast down to the floor. “Fine, you don’t wanna go. That’s up to you, but I’m going out…”

“You can’t” Angel was quick to deny her plans, she got into far too much trouble to be let out on the streets of Los Angeles alone. It wasn’t her he was worried about, it was other people. Guaranteed some poor, unsuspecting soul would get dragged into the World of Cordy and would have no-way out. Besides, what was he going to do if she went out and left him alone? He’d be by himself, with no-one to talk too… He’d be by himself, the peace and quiet would be golden!

“Who’s says I can’t? I can do anything I want too and you can’t stop me” Cordelia told him in her professional ‘I’m the Boss of Me’ voice.

“You’re right” Angel relented immediately, fighting to keep the victorious smile off his face. “I’m not your dad, I can’t tell you what you can and can’t do. You’re young, you should go out and live a little”

“Right, so I’m going to get changed and go out, go party on at the hottest nightclub in L.A” Cordelia beamed at him before flouncing off into her bedroom to change her clothes.

Angel found himself staring at an empty spot in front of him. She never said anything about a nightclub, she said cinema and a cinema was a far cry from a nightclub. She couldn’t go to a nightclub, there would be a room full of people for her to coerce into trouble and there’d be no-way he would be able to help them!

Back to the present…

Shoving her thongs into her top drawer, the vampire went over and over their conversation of last night before wiping it from his head. Angel stalked out of her bedroom and sat down in a petulant slump on her couch.

“Where is she?” he demanded, “Why isn’t she home yet?”

That female force of nature was still out there, loose on the streets of Los Angeles with no-one to stop her schemes or help the people who got dragged into them. She’d be batting her eyelashes at some poor schmuck, she’d do that little shoulder twisty thing and she’d smile that smile. Her lips would curl up and her cheeks would puff out and the poor guy would be lost.

“Where did she say she was going?” Angel asked her phantom room-mate, Dennis. “I have to stop her from…” what did he have to stop her from? Putting half of the male population of L.A under her little, evil womanly spell? Having a taste of what life should be like for a nineteen-year-old female?

“She can’t be nineteen, right?” he asked the air, not expecting the answer. “I mean, no nineteen-year-old would have a body like that, right?”

That was it! Cordelia was really an old, wicked witch who performed a glamour spell on herself and she was going to seduce every male on the planet!

Angel was well aware he was rapidly losing the plot where his seer was concerned. He could barely be in the same room as her without wanting to bite or strangle her. Take the other day for instance…

Two days ago…

“Cordelia, do you have to walk around like that?” Angel asked in a pained voice with an equally pained expression. She was swanning around in nothing but a nightshirt that barely covered the tops of her thighs and no bra so he could see the youthful swell of her breasts and little peeks of her nipples quite clearly.

“Oh come on, Angel” Cordelia waved away his embarrassment. “It’s almost midnight and I wanna be comfortable, besides no-one’s asking you to look at my heaving bosom!”

Didn’t she have any shame at all? So what if she had a point about him looking, he couldn’t help it when they were right there in front of his face. How was he expected not to look?

Angel had to restrain his little demon from taking over and strangling her or draining her dry. That thought had led to him thinking about how good her blood would taste. Nineteen-year-old, fresh human thick, rich red blood straight from the jugular. God, it would be like having vintage whiskey on tap!

“Are scarves in this season?” Angel then asked painfully.


“Are you sure you wanna try this?” Toby asked his girlfriend excitedly and held up a bottle of clear liquid for Leanne to examine. The liquid was supposed to be ‘love in a bottle’ and after Leanne said she’d love to try it, Toby had invested in some.

“Hell Yeah!” Leanne chimed up, almost bouncing in her seat. So what if she enjoyed her boyfriend’s body, just call her Leanne ‘Toby’s Slut’ Conroy. “Let’s do it babe, I wanna get me some lovin!”

“Okay” truth be told, Toby didn’t think she needed anything to increase her passionate nature and he was a little scared about what was coming to him. He slipped the liquid into Leanne’s Cosmopolitan and they kissed, forgetting about the drink for a moment.

The bartender placed Cordelia’s Cosmopolitan down next to the other one and waited to see if she’d thank him with a kiss or her phone number…!

“Thanks, I so love these drinks” Cordelia smiled sweetly at the bartender, dashing his hopes with her friendly but thankful tone. She picked up the cocktail glass and sipped it through the straw in one go until every last drop was drained. “Man, I was thirsty… Gimme another!”

“Yes ma’am!”


Angel had taken to pacing, it was now verging on 12 am and she still wasn’t home. What was taking her so long? What could have possibly happened that was so exciting that she was out until this time? He knew he shouldn’t have let her out.

“Drain her. Strangle her. Drain her. Strangle her” he paused in his frantic pacing to think about that dilemma. “I’ll toss a coin… If I hadn’t given her half my wallet! God damn that woman. We’re not even married and she has me staying at home like a good, little husband while she goes out and does God knows what”

He didn’t even care about where the thought of marriage came into things exactly, but that wasn’t the point. The point was he was in here, pacing like a caged tiger while she, Little Miss Party Shoes, was doing whatever nineteen-year-old Cordelia Chases did!

He fully understood that this was just bloodlust on his part. Yes, that’s exactly what this was and having some delicious non-spiced pigs’ blood was exactly what he needed. It would take the edge off wanting to feel her blood coursing through his body, burning him from the inside out and filling him with…

“I hate that girl!” Angel growled and stormed into the kitchen; heavy pounding footsteps indicating just how frustrated he was with living with Cordelia.


She felt great, on top of the world, everything and everyone was just so beautiful. Cordelia smiled as the taxi driver helped her out of his with a panicked look on his face.

This woman had been telling him nonstop just how beautiful his eyes were and how she could just drown in them. He’d be flattered if she realised he was old enough to be her grandfather!

“There you go, you’re home now. Goodnight!” the poor man scooted back into the safety of his car without taking the fare from her and drove off rather speedily!

“Angel!” Cordelia gasped as sudden emotional tears filled her eyes. The vampire had been alone for hours and he must be so lonely right about now. Nodding emphatically to nobody in particular, she set her sights on her front door and stalked perposely towards it.

The life of a vampire must be incredibly lonely come to think of it, all them years with only yourself as company. No wonder Angelus was so angry in Sunnydale, all the people must have been confusing for him!

“Awww, the poor little demon-man” Cordelia cooed with heartfelt emotion for the soulless vampire. If he wanted a friend why didn’t he just say? Maybe that’s what he wanted to do when he tackled her to the ground. Maybe he justed wanted to play and she’d misjudged him?

Well, it was never too late to make friends right? They could be friends now and the way that she was feeling, they might become special friends!

She, Cordelia Chase, was going to show Angel how much she loved him and wanted to be his special friend.

Right now!



Posted in TBC

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