Category: Major Fluff
Summary: Across a crowded library, their eyes met…! Angel’s POV. Sequel to Eye-to-Eye…
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: AO, Cal, Lil, Lio n Sara’s place.
Notes: The board has been missing some standalones for yonks so I hauled my lazy arse into gear and got writing!
Feedback: is the Pope Catholic?
I told Buffy the information on the Oxyclav demon and how to attract it, yet I find I’m helping out with research on things I already know. She wanted to go over everything, wanted Giles to check it out and make sure there was nothing missed out. Don’t know about her but I’m not in the habit of leaving out information that will help kill an evil demon.
Guess I shouldn’t be annoyed, after all she is only doing what she was born to do, I can’t fault her for covering all ground I guess, but it would have made everyone’s life easier if she had told Giles everything. It can’t be fun for them to sit in the library on a weekend, reading about things they don’t understand and don’t want to understand.
What am I doing here? In this room, with these kids? There’s no reason for my being here when I could be out there ridding the world of my kind. Blowing a soft breath of air out of my dead lungs, I feel…
I don’t know what I feel.
Having spent so long alone without a purpose, being cut off from everything that makes up life. Now, here I am sat in a high school library surrounded by a slayer, her watcher and a few select friends who know about her calling. The only word that can sum up how I feel is amazed.
After living the way I did for a century and a half, going round the world more than once and killing so many faceless, nameless victims I don’t deserve to be here with this chance. I have half a mind to get the slayer to kill me, end it all but I’m too much of a coward to face my own death.
I doubt anyone here would care that much, Buffy claims to love me but yet she’s never with me in mind. Her body and heart are there, full of the joys of first love but her mind is always in a place I can’t reach.
A place full of sunlight, full of life and full of everything she and other girls her age deserve. She doesn’t need to be swallowed by the darkness though I know she’s already partially clouded by it through her duty. The One Girl In All The World.
The one chosen to protect humanity from things like me, to ward off one apocalypse after another, to put the lives of others in front of her own. Buffy does that and I admire her for what she was born to do. As a slayer, I doubt there has been another like her but as a girl, a partner, she has a long way to go.
At the age of seventeen, she is young and still has to mature, a part of me will be sorry that I won’t be around to see her grow into the woman I have every confidence she can be.
If I stay here, I will be in the way and Buffy will never reach her true potential as both a slayer and a woman. With me here, she will always turn to me for backup, for help and I don’t mind being here to give that help but in order for her to grow, I need to leave.
She has others more than willing to help her, Willow Rosenburg, Xander Harris, Rupert Giles and, to some extent, Cordelia Chase.
That girl is an interesting character, endlessly intriguing me with her contradicting behaviour. One minute, she’s no more willing to help than a soulless vampire and the next, she’s turning up unannounced and demanding to know why she was never asked for help.
Being a vampire, it’s in my nature to be fascinated by human behaviour and all the people I’ve come across, I’ve never met another young woman like her. Mature far beyond her years, Cordelia has all the charms, grace and poise of a woman twice her age and yet she still retains a youthful innocence that shines through her eyes.
Underneath her make-up and pretty clothes, I see a lost young woman who is scared of the life she has willingly made herself a part of. She comes in here to help with research, not just her but Willow and Xander do that too. I respect each one of them for helping their friend in her quest to fight the forces of darkness.
To me, she is the most normal person in an abnormal world. Here she sits at a table, surrounded by a slayer, a werewolf, an up and coming wicca and a teenage boy who dogs the slayer’s every move. Not forgetting an ensouled vampire who once was known the world over as Scourge of Europe. This setting is as far from normal as you can possibly get.
Sure she voices her complaints loudly, making her annoyance known but she still does it. She ditches her friends, social life and no doubt her flavour of the week to sit in a stuffy library, reading about something I highly doubt she understands.
I wonder why Giles gave her a demonology book that’s half written in Latin. The language is dead and granted I don’t know Cordelia at all, it’s unlikely she’ll be fluent enough to understand the text. Should I say something on Cordy’s behalf? She doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by it, to say the truth she doesn’t seem to be paying it any attention.
I feel someone staring at me, I can’t but inwardly cringe when I think it’s Buffy looking at me. I hope to God I’m wrong.
Glance up from my uninformative book, I catch Cordelia Chase looking at me before I have time to question it, she looks away.
Buffy says a lot of things about Cordelia Chase that she shouldn’t and I’m ashamed to admit I’ve gone along with her on the odd occasion. Who the hell am I judge a normal, teenage girl on living her normal, everyday life? I’m an ass and I know it. If I wasn’t so cowardly, I’d apologise to Cordelia but I think that would probably not go down well since she’d shove back in my face after stating if I was going to talk about her, to do it to her face.
I shake my head in confusion over the brunette as I steal a little glance at her and see her snatching her gaze away from me again. I get curious when I hear Cordelia’s heart rate pick up and a little, almost unnoticeable cooing noise fall from her full mouth.
Can’t help but glance at her and see a dreamy expression on her heart-shaped features… Wait a minute, she has a dreamy expression on her face and looking at me… No way! Her crush was cured the second she found out I was a vampire so she doesn’t still hold me in a romantic light. Right?
What if her crush wasn’t cured? What if she still thinks of me that way? Nah, that’s impossible. I would have picked up on it, right? But what if…
Look at the way the light is shining off her hair. The soft glow has thin strands of dark gold threading through the thick waves and her fringe is brushing down over her eyes, keeping them from me. Dark brown and stunning to look at, her hair looks so soft and touchable, like silk or satin. I can feel the softness as it falls through my fingers while I hold her.
Angel, look back at the big book you’re about to crunch. It’s a very old, very needed and very expensive book and it wouldn’t be a good idea to ruin it.
This staircase isn’t meant for sitting on, shifting around a little I keep a yelp soundless as the sharp corner of the book comes very close to going someplace it shouldn’t. I’m not going to look at her, I’m not.
Even if I can feel those eyes of hers on me… What can one little glance hurt?
The strangest thing happens when she snaps her gaze away quickly, I feel my lips quirking up in what could only be a smile. You want to be careful Angel, your face might crack.
Why does she keep looking away all the time? Is it because she can’t stand the sight of my face? What does she think of what I look like? What does she see? What does Cordelia Chase think about when her heart goes thump-thump-thump excitedly like it’s doing now…
I am not picking out her heart rhythm nor am I listening to the rapid changes in her breathing pattern, even if it getting a little on the heavy side. Is that what she would sound like when passion is making her blood boil?
That heart-shaped face would be flushed a pretty pink as heat would rise up that hot, lithe body as the temperature in her veins increased. The hazel orbs would turn a crystal onyx as the pupils would dilate to swallow the irises, leaving a rich corona of melted toffee. I have to look at her, have to see if her face flushes with that deep, excited breathing.
Ooohkay… Her eyes seem to be fixated on my fingers, why is that? Ahh, the finger tapping must be a pet hate of hers so I stop, not wanting to be on the receiving end of any yelling. The tapping has ceased and she’s still looking at my fingers… Unless she’s looking at the place where my hand is resting.
Could it be Cordelia Chase is eyeing my legs? Nah, I highly doubt she’s that obvious. She’s a young lady, not just a young woman, but she has an air of regal class about her that I find very attractive… No I don’t.
Not at all.
Wow. Her eyes are a kaleidescope of colours; the pools are exquisite with forest green and rich gold set on a background of stunning hazel. Is it possible to become enchanted by a pair of eyes?
This time, Cordelia doesn’t look away and she keeps staring at me as though I’m an escaped mental patient. Not that I blame her for that conclusion, being surrounded by two people who don’t exactly like me all that much will do that to you.
Is it me or are those hazel orbs turning to pure spun gold? Why do I feel as though my heart is beating?
Her mouth has just parted a little, lower lip is bitten softly and I really want to kiss the bite better before doing it to her. The bite, nothing else of course because that would be wrong.
Turn away now, Angel, before you get into trouble.
I lick my dry lips, hoping to dull the urge to taste her on my tongue by sweeping away the sensation of her mouth on mine.
Breathe for me baby, lemme hear your pulse rise.
Damnit, I’m in trouble and it’s all her fault. Her, those eyes and that mouth all had one purpose and that was to get me into trouble.
I have to move before something gets noticed, something that certainly shouldn’t be noticed by anyone apart from Co… No-one. Something that shouldn’t get noticed by anyone, much less her. My body is forced to slide to the left so my right thigh covers certain body parts that have reacted a little too well to those eyes.
Cordelia is still watching me, God I want to go over to her and sit next to her if nothing else.
I’m so tired of feeling alone, like I have no-one for me and only me. What would she say and do if I was go over there? Offer to help her with that stupid book?
The urge to speak on her behalf is getting pretty hard to resist but somehow I manage to keep my mouth shut with not wanting to cause any comments from the others in here. After all, Buffy and Xander wouldn’t be too happy if Cordelia and I talked, let alone sat together…
God, what the hell have I turned into?
It seems as though I’ve spent so much time caring about what other people think that I’ve lost track of what I think and how I want to say it. That’s not right, not when my own happiness is being put at risk because I don’t want to be the cause for harsh comments towards Cordelia.
I can’t stop my body from hardening under her stare. Does she even realise what she’s doing, looking at me that way? If not, I’ll be only to happy to show her.
Vampires normally don’t feel differences in temperature but it feels like an inferno in here. I have to look away before I do something stupid.
The tension around me feels intense, as though it’s closing in on me and enveloping me in too-strong a grip. My mouth is getting dry as I think about enveloping Cordelia and bringing her close to me, protecting her from everything and everyone.
Thinking of that exact scenario, I picture waking up with her and she’s so close to me that strands of her hair would fall across my chest. It would feel silky soft with the ends tickling my naked skin, making me entwine my fingers through the lustrous waves.
Oh thank God no-one is looking at me. They mustn’t have heard the demonic noise that bubbled up in my throat, I praise my ability to stay silent. Something that beautiful is beyond my reach and I can only dream of having that in my life with a woman like Cordelia.
Sitting on these stairs, looking down at the book resting on my lap for this amount of time has my neck aching like hell. I need to work out the kinks and so I move my hand to where the muscle is throbbing with a near painless but annoying dull ache. I wish this was her hand.
Oh yes, Cordelia using those hot little hands to relax me. I may be a vampire but I’m still a male at heart and the thought of a gorgeous woman with her hands on me, caressing my neck with deep and sure touches is enough to make me silently beg for it.
Cordy? I like that name, it suits that cheeky smile that’s lighting those hazel eyes right up… Damn! She’s thinking about something naughty, I catch a light scent of female heat. My tongue darts out to lick my lips, tasting her in the air around me. Come on honey, tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.
Can anyone remember the clothes she wore last week when she was bait? There was this black, wet look leather skirt that only reached mid-thigh and it was coupled with this skin tight red blouse that did nothing but hug her chest. Her in that really hot outfit, giving my body a rub-down before oiling me up…
Cordy. Cordeee. Cor-Dee-Lee-Ahh.
Mouth has gone dry again.
I wonder how her name would sound being rolled off my tongue as I feel her suck… It wouldn’t sound good at all. That would be rude and bad and she would eat me for breakfast… Why is my mind going from bad to worse? I’m supposed to be researching, not thinking of an eighteen year old girl in a sexual manner.
Right Angel, so get your head back into the big book and search.
Yes, search for information I already know that I graciously passed on to Giles via Buffy but was lost in favour of covering more background.
How can there be more background on a demon that needs a standard slice-and-dice way to kill it? It isn’t as if Buffy’s going to be popping by its lair near the sea caves to hand feed it, is she? Not that I wouldn’t mind seeing a slayer drop by an Oxyclav demon’s lair with take-out because I think that would be pretty funny.
Hey! Xander Harris is looking at Cordy. See that? He’s looking at her mouth, why is he looking at her mouth? He better not be getting any ideas because that would really annoy me. Does he really want to piss me off? Back off boy, keep those eyes to yourself.
Ouch, my Cordy’s giving him one hell of a glare and he’s turned his gaze; adoring gaze back to Buffy. I breathe unnecessarily, if he isn’t careful someone might just get hurt and I don’t mean by me. Sorry Xan, guess she ain’t into you!
Cordy Chase is so far out of Xander Harris’s league they aren’t even on the same page. She needs a man, someone who can take care of her, someone who knows what to do with a beautiful woman.
Not that I’m saying I’m that particular man of course, but as a vampire who has lived a pretty long life I have had some experience with women. Okay, maybe a little more than some but I can’t be blamed for that can I? My sire had been a whore before she was turned and she had fantasies, I can’t be held responsible for doing what my sire wanted to do.
I am innocent. Completely innocent.
Maybe not but how many men would turn down two women in bed huh? Answer me that.
Not that my Cordy would be that way inclined of course because she’s a lady. I wouldn’t share her with anyone else, not even another woman. If I did that then there’d be a chance she’d like the woman more than me and that would mean someone would have to die.
She’s looking again and this time she isn’t looking away when I raise my gaze to meet hers. The light is catching the chestnut strands, making the dark brown colour shine. Her eyes are unsure and she’s biting her lower lip just like in my fantasy, not that I was fantasizing about her biting her lower lip but…
That book has her eyes glazed over and no matter what my bad mind maybe thinking, she needs help with the dead language that only people like Giles and I know. I resist the urge to shake my head at the absurdity of an intelligent men the likes of him giving Cordelia Chase a book in Latin and I am not degrading her intelligence in the least.
See that! Her mouth is parting and her tongue has just swept across the dark red lipstick covering those full, perfect lips making them glisten. She’s gonna say something to me but before she demands what I’m looking at and she would demand that, I speak first.
“The book given to you is in Latin” I speak, keeping my voice cool and even. Everyone is now looking at me in surprise as the sound cuts through the silence in the room. “If you’d like, I’d be happy to help”
“Lemme get you a chair from Giles’ office and you can come sit” Cordy replies and suddenly…
My world ceases to turn as she smiles.