Vamp SmackDown. 12

Chapter 12

“Spike.” The blonde female vampire that had been sitting next to the Count earlier jumped up.

“Baroness, you look hot to trot.”

The Baroness started to laugh, but the absolute stillness of her sire gave her second thoughts. “Uh, Spike, you weren’t invited, maybe you should go.”

Spike waved up an invitation. “Was too. Got the Master’s. He couldn’t come he’s dust. So, that just leaves Granddad and me to carry the oh so proud banner of the House of Aurelius. Ooh, blood wine.” Spike grabbed at the wine goblet Mortimor was carrying.

“Um, sir that was the Count’s.”

“Whoops.” Spike grinned wiping his mouth looking at the British servant, keeping a hold of the cup. “Do you eat rats, yet?”


“Shame, it was always fun watching Renfield chase after them. Oh well, don’t worry you’ll start soon enough.”

“I await with anticipation.” Mortimor said dryly.

“Angelus AND Spike. My pleasure knows no bounds. I was unaware that the Master was dead. It is a loss.” The Count said.

Spike shrugged. “I don’t think so, always wanted to live in a cave- boring. Or at least that’s what Granddad said when he staked him.”

The Count turned to Angelus. “You killed your grandsire, also.”

“Shit happens.” Angelus said. ” I’m seriously contemplating killing my grandchilde, too.”

“Good one.” Spike slapped Angel on the back. He leaned over to Cordelia. “Looking mighty tasty tonight, pet. Love the dress.”

“I’m not your pet. Angelus, kill him, please.”

Spike laughed. “I always liked you, you know.”

“Stop, you’re making feel all warm and fuzzy inside.”

Spike winked. Angelus growled. Cordelia glared. Spike laughed and turned back to the Count. “Drac, it doesn’t seem like the entertainment is into the movie. Another flop, uh?” Spike looked towards the seated humans talking and drinking rather than watching the film. “I blame it on Anne Rice. Who wants a stuffy Transylvania Count when you can have a rock star Lesat? Sometimes fiction is better, uh.”

This time Dracula growled.

“Hey, I’m on your side. Can’t abide the way she gives her vampires souls and they don’t get to shag.” Spike shivered dramatically. “Gives you the willies don’t it Angelus. Poor blokes, ensouled vampires that can’t shag. Feel sorry for them.”

Cordelia really wanted to stake the blonde vampire, but instead she smiled and brought Angel’s hand up to her breast in a slow caress along her body. “He wouldn’t know, we shag all the time, everywhere, in ever manner. Is that what you do with all your time now, watch movies- what, can’t find anybody to bite or is it just too much of an headache for you.”

“Lust but no joy is there, pet?” Spike winked.

Angel knew he had to stop this before it all exploded in their faces. Or he went insane. Cordelia had now moved his hand to her other breast. That definitely had to stop. He curled his fingers around her hand moving it and his up to her shoulder.

“Spike, you were late, didn’t want to wait. When did you get to LA?”

“Just arrived.” Spike took another swallow of his wine. “Had some slayer trouble.”

Cordelia’s fingernails pierced Angel’s hand. Angel’s expression didn’t change.

“Still killing slayers, Spike. That’s so- young.” The Baroness rolled her eyes.

“You killed the slayer?” Dracula asked. The other vampire’s in the room slowly moved forward waiting to hear Spike’s answer.

“Is that a hint of envy I detect Count. Heard she ran you out of Sunnydale after you tried to mindfuck her. See, that was your first mistake, Blondie is more into the physical than the cerebral. And you know, I’m kind of hurt that you didn’t stop by and say Hi. It was kind of rude.”

“Mortimor, why didn’t I know that Spike was in Sunnydale?”

“Possibly because I didn’t know of the gentlemen’s existence until two weeks ago, Master?”

“You are trying my patience, Mortimor.”

“I do what I can, Master.” Mortimor gracefully bowed and backed away.


Mortimor watched the circle of vampires get larger as more of the undead aristocrats gathered around to listen for whatever next came out of Spike’s mouth. Every vampire in the room seemed to encircle the Count and the two younger vampires.

Their expressions were a mixture of interest, surprise, disdain and even a touch of fear, but they all wanted to hear. It wasn’t every day that the Count was mocked. In fact it never happened, but it was happening now. First with Angelus’ sly sardonic shows of disrespect and now Spike’s more blatant loud comments.

Mortimor was very optimistic. He had never seen the Count so angry.


Mortimor raised a brow to vampire that was tugging on his arm. It was one of the local vampires that had been employed as waiters for the party. “What’s he doing here?” The vampire pointed to Angel.

“Angelus is a guest.”

“Angelus? That ain’t his name, it’s Angel. He’s the vampire I told you about – the one that kills vampires, hangs out with humans, heard he got a soul. I’m outta of here, whenever he shows up vamps die.”

“Angelus is an old acquaintance of the Count. The Scourge of Europe. You must be mistaken.”

“ Scourge of the vamp population more like. Hey, believe what you want. I just know he wiped out a nest on Canal Street last week; I barely got out alive. He and his humans killed at least 15 vampires that night. I’m gone before he starts dusting.”

Mortimor stared after the young vampire. He sighed. It had been going so well. Mortimor headed back towards his Master.


“Wow, he’s uppity.” Spike grinned after Mortimor. “I like him. And no, I didn’t kill the slayer, the bitty piece is more fun alive than dead.”

“Fun?” Dracula raised his brows.

“As in capital SEX, I tell you, you used the wrong approach with her. You know, a little punch in the foreplay, none of that mind fuck stuff, go straight for the down and dirty.”

Cordelia couldn’t stop her jaw from dropping. She was going to kill the blonde vampire. Cordelia wanted to look at Angel; she needed to see his reaction at Spike’s crude comments about Buffy. Cordelia couldn’t tell, Angel hadn’t moved his hands from around her body, or reacted in anyway that she could feel. But, Angel had to be angry.

Angel had no idea what game Spike was playing, but he wasn’t in the mood for it. And he didn’t like the way that all of the vampires in the room were now surrounding them. Granted they weren’t threatening just eager for gossip. But, Cordelia was in the middle and that was too close for Angel’s comfort. “You’re boring me, Spike.”

“You don’t want to hear about the slayer? It’s good stuff, wild and dirty.”

“You’re the one with the slayer fetish, not me.” Angel answered lazily, rubbing Cordelia’s neck, keeping her from lunging at the blonde vampire. He had to get her out of there; she was about to go ballistic.

“You’re having a sex with the slayer. I don’t believe you.” The Baroness laughed.

Spike shrugged. “Got the claw marks to prove it.”


“Mortimor, why have you dragged me across the room?”

“I do apologize, Master, but it seems that my real blunder wasn’t knowing that Angelus was in Los Angeles but rather that somehow he’s received a soul and has taken up killing vampires as a calling. I thought it best if you retire for the night.”

Dracula shot a look towards Angel. “A soul? Impossible.”


“Is there a point to your tale because if there is get to it.”

“No point.” Spike shrugged. “Just thought you’d be interested.”

“I’m not. In fact I’m very bored.” Angel yawned.

Cordelia tugged on Angel’s arm. “Killing him could liven things up a bit, please Angelus. Just kill him and put us all out of this misery.”

“Bloodthirsty, little chit aren’t you.”

“It’s the company, I keep.”

“Can I have her when you’re done? She’s hot and feisty. ” Spike asked Angel.

“Guess not,” Spike said in response to Angel’s low growl. “You’re keeping her, uh. Has it been fifteen minutes yet, you got a watch?” Spike grabbed at Angel’s wrist. “Yep, okay then. How reliable is your fang gang?” Spike looked up as a loud fire alarm went off and two firemen burst into the room.

Spike shrugged. “Pretty reliable, I’d say.” Spike grabbed Cordelia’s arm. “Pet, you’re wanted downstairs.” Pushing her through the crowd of startled vampires into the panicking humans running toward the exit.

“Catch, Peaches.” Spike tossed some stakes towards Angel as he plunged his into the chest of the nearest vampire.

Cordelia was pushed into one of the firemen. “Cordy, here.” The fireman thrust a cross bow into her hands.


“Like the outfit? Always wanted to be a fireman.”


Count Dracula and Mortimor watched as Angel turned from the explosion of dust that had once been the Baroness. He lunged quickly breaking another vampire’s neck as he plunged in his stake. Spike had a vampire in the air throwing him across the room only then to ram his stake into an attacking vampire.

“Mortimor, does Spike also happen to have a soul?”

“That I am unaware of, Master.”

Dracula nodded. “The young woman, Angelus’ property, she aims well. Did you see where she got the cross bow from?”

“I believe it was from the fireman that is using that rather large wooden stake quite effectively.”

Again Dracula nodded. “The other one is also quite efficient.”

“Master, the young lady seems to have seen you.”

“Yes, it seems she has.” Dracula raised his hand in a flash catching the wooden bolt before it reached his chest. He crushed the arrow in his fist. “I think you are right Mortimor, it is time to leave.” Dracula turned disappearing into the darkness of the doorway.


“Where’s Dracula?” Angel asked.

Spike looked around at the dust filled room. “I didn’t get him.”

Cordelia got up from her position behind the bar. “He got away. I almost had him. Not fair. It was a good shot.” She glanced down at her dress.

“Gunn, I told you to get Cordelia out of here.”

“Don’t be so pigheaded Angel, I helped. Hey, look no stains,” She twirled in front of Angel. “I can eat.”

“What, Cordy I…”

“The dress, it wasn’t ruined, I can take it back now.” She smiled brightly.

“What? You’re taking it back? Why?”

“Got to eat, Angel.”

Spike choked on the laughter that was gurgling in his throat at the sight of Angel’s forlorn expression. Peaches obviously hadn’t gotten over his button fetish. What the hell. Spike was in a good mood. He sauntered over to the bar and picked up a goblet of wine and took a large swallow. Spike went over to the beaming young woman. “What some wine, pet?”

“Don’t call me that.” She glared at the blonde suspiciously. “Why?”

“Why….Whoops.” The goblet fell to the floor.

“You bleached blonde dead clumsy jerk, look what you did.” Cordelia yelled, brushing frantically at the spatters of wine settling on the front of her dress, rushing towards the bar in search of club soda.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, it’s red wine with just a little bit of blood, it blends in.”

“I could still kill you.” Angel said coming up next to Spike.

“Hey, I just saved your hide and your fantasy. I deserve a big fat thank you.” Spike whispered so only Angel could hear.

“Spike, why are you here?” Angel asked in the same low tone.

“Wanted to talk to you, get your advice….about Buffy.”

“I am going to have to kill you aren’t I?”

Spike shrugged. “So, you got room in that big hotel for me? I’m sure it will only be for a couple of days.” He walked out of the room.

Cordelia, Wesley and Gunn rushed up to Angel. “He’s not staying. You aren’t going to let him stay.” They all said at once.

Cordelia tugged at Angel’s arm. “You can’t. He’s annoying, really annoying and think about Connor, Spike’s not a good influence. He smokes. And look what he did to my dress.”

“Cordy, until we know what Dracula’s next move is you’re staying at the hotel.”

“What? You can’t order….Are you going to let Spike stay. You are, aren’t you? Damn straight I’m staying at the hotel. While he’s there, I’m there.” She turned away in a huff.

“That was easier than I thought.” Angel gave a quirky smile to Wesley and Gunn.

“Angel, why does Cordelia have what looks to be a vampire bite on her neck.” Wesley rubbed at his glasses.

The smile was gone in an instant. Angel stared at Wesley and Gunn for a full minute, then walked away without saying a word.

“He bit her.” Gunn smacked his 4’ by 4’ stake on the ground.

“Yes.” Wesley put his glasses back on. “Angel and Cordelia are safe, the humans are safe that is all that matters for right now.”


Cordelia stormed up to Spike. “I get that you helped us. I get that you’re defanged. I get that you have been helping Buffy and the Scoobies. But if you pull that ‘Buffy and I’ are doing the pelvic thrust shit in front of Angel again you are dust. And if you so much as look cross-eyed, cuss, smoke in front of Connor you will be dust after I drench you in a vat of holy water. You got that?” She poked him repeatedly in the chest.

“And you’re paying for my dress.” The click of her heels sounded on the floor as she stomped out of the theater.

“What did you say to her?” Angel yanked at Spike leather jacket.

“Hey, Peaches calm it, she tore into me. Feisty isn’t the word for that tasty bit.”

Angel growled. “If you touch Cordelia or so much as look at her funny or make her upset, you are dust. And if you put Connor in any danger what so ever you are…”

“Dumped in a vat of holy water, I heard. Who’s this chap that needs to be protected from my big bad evil self?”

“My son.” Angel went to follow Cordelia out of the hotel.

“UH.” Spike’s cigarette fell to the floor as his mouth dropped open. He grabbed Wesley’s arm, as the former watcher was about to pass by. “Did the Poof just say he had a son? As like in a real son?”


“Like he really ‘HAD’ a son? I mean NOT shooting dead blanks.”

“Yes.” Wesley jerked away from the blond vampire’s grip.

“How is that possible? Should I be thinking about covering Mr. Happy?”

“Prophecy.’” Wesley shook his head and then turned back. “If you so much as go near…..”

“I got it. Damn. I’m dead not deaf.”

Wesley glared then moved away.

Gunn stopped in front of the blonde vampire. “And if you so much as sneeze in Fred’s direction, you’re meeting the end of my Mr. Happy.” He slapped at the large stake in his hand.

“Ever hear about over compensation.” Spike mumbled under his breath as the black man left the theater. “Anybody know the words THANK YOU Spike for saving our asses.”

Spike shook his head and lit another cigarette. Trusting bunch could have stayed in Sunnydale for this type of ingratitude.

Chapter 13

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