Part 8
Angel blinked. The ability to move was slowly returning. He looked around the table. The other men still seemed frozen. The thought that it was all a spell crossed his mind but he dismissed it. It wasn’t a nightmare either.
He reviewed his evening. He had been good. Cordy wanted him to bond with the guys so he did. They carried one of the round tables from the old ballroom out into the lobby. It made the perfect poker table. Spike, Giles, Xander, Gunn and he played while Connor watched.
They had talked about everything that had happened in Sunnydale and he told them about LA. He was pleasant. Actually he was downright friendly. He couldn’t wait for Cordelia to come home. She’d see how good he’d been and reward him.
He was glad he’d already sent Connor to bed when the girls stumbled. He wouldn’t want him to hear their conversation. Then again, he didn’t want to hear it either. He wanted to interrupt but couldn’t seem to find his voice. Sweet, innocent Willow had come into the hotel talking about having sex while floating.
He expected her to blush when she saw them but she didn’t even flinch. It was like they saw them without actually seeing them. Then Buffy started talking about her sex life with Spike. He was about to force himself to speak when Cordelia shocked him into his current state.
She’d had sex with Giles. *When? Where? And why the fuck didn’t I know about it?*
Now here he was. His mobility was back. He thought about trying to use his voice but decided against it. Speaking would lead to demanding answers from Giles and that would lead to removing his head from his body. He silently got up and left the room.
His steps slowed as he approached his bedroom door. He wasn’t sure he could go in there and not ask questions. He was too angry and hurt and she was too drunk to talk. She had slept with Giles. She was a higher being. She had a mission he knew nothing about. She wanted to know what Spike looked like naked! He took a few calming breaths. She also said she loved him.
He quietly entered his room. Cordelia was sprawled across his bed in her bra and panties. Her discarded dress lay on the floor by the bed. He felt his entire body harden at the sight. As she rolled over onto her stomach, he felt his anger deflate. He picked up her dress and added it to the drycleaning pile. Then he reached down and adjusted her position.
He sat down on the edge of the bed and removed his shoes and socks before standing up and undressing down to his boxers. He climbed into bed beside her. She was snoring lightly. Her wonderful scent was mixed with tequila. She said she loved him. There was no calling him a dumbass this time. He pulled her into his arms.
He knew they would work everything out. He was never gonna let another man touch her ever again. He stroked her back as he drifted off to sleep.
***
The first thing Cordelia noticed as she awoke was how warm Angel felt in her arms. The next thing she noticed was she was practically naked. They were both in their underwear and she was almost lying on top of him.
She tried to remember how she ended up here. She’d gone dancing with Fred, Buffy and Willow. They had a good time and a whole lot of tequila. They got home safely and talked some more. She told them a lot more than she meant to, but she was forgetting something. Something important.
*Shit! The guys were in the room the whole time.*
She reviewed their conversation in her head. Angel heard everything. *I so need to get out of here!* She disentangled herself and tried to get up. She squealed when Angel grabbed her by the waist and rolled her under him.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“Um..nowhere..um..I mean I was just going to the bathroom.”
He rolled off of her. He watched her grab his shirt on her way to the bathroom. He could hear her pacing and muttering to herself. He saw the panic in her eyes. He wouldn’t put it past her to climb out onto the ledge to avoid talking to him. It was a good thing his bathroom didn’t have any windows. She came out a few minutes later and headed straight to the door.
“Where are you going now?”
“Um..to make Connor his breakfast.”
“And you were planning to go downstairs only wearing my shirt? Of course I think my shirt hangs lower than that dress you wore last night.”
She looked down and cursed. “I guess I should get dressed.”
“Don’t bother.” At her arched brow, he continued. “Xander, Gunn and Connor made plans to go out to breakfast this morning. I think Fred was supposed to go too but I doubt she felt up to it. How do you feel by the way?”
“A little fuzzy, but alright. I guess the demon in me helps with hangovers.”
“We need to talk.”
“Didn’t anyone ever tell you talking is overrated?”
He laughed. “That’s funny coming from you, but since you’re always right, I should listen.”
She grabbed her bag. “Good. I’m just gonna take a shower.”
“Yeah. I should just go with my first instinct. I’m gonna find Giles and remove his head.” He started to climb out of bed.
Cordelia launched herself across the room and tackled him to the bed. “That’s not funny.”
“Neither was finding out that the two of you are lovers!”
“Were. Past tense.”
“You lied to me.”
“I did Not lie. I just didn’t tell. It’s not like you’ve given me a list of your past lovers.”
“Well I didn’t invite my lover into our home and pretend we were only friends.”
“Ex-lover and I didn’t invite anyone. They just showed up and in case you’ve forgotten your past lover is here too.”
“But you know about Buffy. I didn’t know anything about Giles. You knew I was jealous and you acted like I was being crazy. You should have told me.”
“Until last night we were just friends. I didn’t owe you an explanation.”
“Cor, we haven’t been ‘just friends’ for a long time.” He shifted so they were facing each other. “Let’s just push the fact you should have told me aside. Tell me now. You said it happened while you were living in LA. I’m a vampire. I would have smel..”
“Eww. Please don’t finish that sentence.”
“Was it after I fired you?” He looked away. He hated to think about that time.
She lifted his chin. “No. It was before that.” When he started to say something, she covered his mouth. “This will go a lot faster if you don’t interrupt.” He nodded. “It was when you were helping Faith. I was taking my well deserved paid vacation. So much had happened, I didn’t want to be alone. Doyle’s death, my demon pregnancy, the visions and I guess Faith knocking me unconscious and torturing Wesley was the last straw. I needed to get away.”
She sighed. “No. That’s not true. I know this sounds self-centered but I was angry with you.” She covered his mouth again. “I kept thinking what if she’d taken me instead. I would have been the one tortured and she’d still be the one you comforted.” She wiped a tear away. “I was selfish back then.”
He pulled her hand away. “No you weren’t. You had a lot to deal with. The truth is if it had been you, I would have killed her.”
“Don’t say that. You did the right thing. I should have helped you. Instead I went to Sunnydale to surprise my mom. Her birthday was coming up.” She could feel her tears start to flow.
“When I got there, she told me..I should have called first. She said in the future, I should just mail her a present. She and Daddy were trying to rebuild their social status and a struggling actress who works as a secretary would be a liability. If I stayed away, they could just lie to their friends about me. That was the last time I spoke to her.”
He couldn’t believe her mother would treat her like that. “I wish you would have called me.”
“You had your hands full.” She saw him flinch. “Baby, it wasn’t you. Remember this was the old me. I didn’t share my pain.”
“You still don’t.” When she started to roll away, he pulled her back. “What happened next?”
“I didn’t want to go home yet, so I wandered around Sunnydale. I ended up at the coffee shop.” She laughed. “Rupert was singing. He was really good. He saw me. I almost left but I needed someone to talk to. He joined me when he finished. We talked for hours.” She smiled as she remembered.
“He got me to open up and I returned the favor. He’d been feeling rather useless and unwanted. He needed someone too. Before we realized it, the place was closing. It was too late to catch a bus, so invited me to stay with him.” She heard his growl. “It wasn’t like that. It started out completely innocent. He went to sleep on the couch.”
She sighed. “I had a nightmare that night. When I woke up, he was holding me. He told me I was screaming. He asked me about the nighmare. Said it would help if I talked about it.” She hesitated.
“What was it about. Do you remember?”
“Like it was yesterday.” She took a deep breath. “It was about my night with Wilson. I know I told you I was okay, but I wasn’t. I never wanted to let another man touch me.” She looked into his concerned eyes. “Angel, that was my first time.” She looked away.
“Despite what people thought about me, I didn’t sleep around in high school. I wanted to wait until I was in love.” She rolled her eyes. “I knew I didn’t love Wilson but I really liked him. I didn’t want..I didn’t want to lose him because of my fears.”
She wiped away more tears. “Before Doyle jumped, he told me it was a shame we didn’t get the chance to find out if his demon face was something I could grow to love. He shouldn’t have had to die with that regret. If I hadn’t been so stupid, we could…I promised myself that I wouldn’t let my fears stop me from risking my heart. Wilson seemed so nice. He really listened when I talked. I thought I was so lucky. He could have any woman he wanted, so…”
She cleared her throat. “When I woke up alone and very pregnant, I felt so used and stupid. I was so grateful that I had you and Wesley to save me. I meant what I said. I had two people I could trust with my life. What I couldn’t say was I never wanted to trust anyone with my heart again.”
She shook her head. “Giles held me all night. I felt so safe. It just felt right. I asked him to make love to me. I needed to know it could be nice. At first, he turned me down. He didn’t want to take advantage of my vunerable state.” She laughed. “It took me some time but I wore his resistance down.” She stopped laughing at Angel’s pained expression.
“By the time I left Sunnydale, I felt strong. I was me again. I made the decision that I was never going to be anyone’s victim ever again. Bad things would continue to happen, such is life, but only I could make myself a victim.”
He tried to absorb everything she told him. He couldn’t believe she’d been in so much pain and he never knew. “Promise me something.”
“What?”
“From now on you’ll share your pain with me.”
“Angel..”
“Promise me!”
“I will if you promise me something in return.”
“I’ll share my pain too.”
“Duh! I’ve insisted on that ever since your epiphany. No I want you to promise me not to feel guilty. I am responsible for my own decisions just as those who attack me are for theirs.”
“But..”
“No buts. You have a tendency to feel responsible for every bad thing that happens to me.”
“That’s because..”
“No because. No buts. Promise!”
“Fine. I promise to try not to feel guilty.” She arched her brow. “That’s the best I can do.”
“I’ll accept that. One more thing. No trying to fix it unless I ask.”
“Wait. How can..”
“Sometimes I just need someone to listen. If I have to worry about what you might do, I won’t feel comfortable coming to you.”
He huffed. “I promise not to do anything without discussing it with you first.”
“Angel..”
“I’m trying here. I can’t stand to see you hurting.”
“That’s why..”
He clutched her arm. “No. I need to be there for you. Please don’t shut me out!”
“Shh” She stroked his cheek. “I promise to share everything with you. I love you Angel.”
He felt the ache in his heart disappear at her words. He cupped her cheek. “I love you.” He pulled her lips to his for a chaste kiss. “I love you so much.” He kissed her again. The kiss seemed to deepen by the second. He could tell she needed to breath, so he released her lips. He looked into her eyes. “I’m never gonna let you go.”
She felt her eyes tear up. “Do you mean that?”
“Of course”
She smiled. “No more you deserve the sun nonsense? No more you deserve normal?”
He laughed. “You deserve that and so much more, but I’ve decided to be selfish. No other man will ever touch you again. You are mine.”
She threw her arms around him and squeezed. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me. You love me enough to stay and fight for us.”
He returned the hug. “You seem to be handling my possessive nature a lot better today. Does this mean I get my marking rights?”
She giggled and pulled back. “Angel, last night we were talking about ownership. Right now we’re talking about fidelity.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “That works both ways mister. If I catch you releasing any of your frustrations by having casual sex with someone since your stupid curse allows that, you will be dust. The only loophole you better think about is one that will allow us to be together.”
He smiled. “Cor, you are the only one I want to be with and we will find a way to be together.” He pulled her closer. “But I was still talking about ownership. I don’t want any man touching you for any reason.”
“Angel, I will hug and kiss any member of my family or friends whenever I want. This is non-negotiable!”
He growled. “What the hell happened to your personal bubble?”
“Don’t growl at me!” She calmed herself before continuing. “When I was in the higher realms, I felt so alone. I missed you guys like crazy. I needed a friend. I needed a hug. Higher beings consider affection to be beneath them.” She laughed.
“My sword instructor, who made insulting me an artform, complimented my technique one day. I was so excited I hugged him. He looked at me like I punched him. I’ll never forget the look on his face. I thought about all those baby books I read. They all said that touch was so important to a child’s development. When I was up there, I realized it never stops being important. You should know that better than anyone. You spent all those years isolated. I won’t give it up now that I know how it feels to not have it.”
He grumbled. “I hate it when you make sense when I’m trying to be irrational. Fine! Some touching will be allowed. But I’m the only one who can kiss your lips.”
She leaned forward and kissed him. “Agreed.”
He smirked at her. “You know this works both ways. I can hug and kiss family and friends too, Buffy included.”
She laughed at his confident look. “Nice try. Yes, you can too, Buffy included. She knows you, broody boy, are my vampire.”
“Fine” He gritted his teeth. He thought he had her. He couldn’t stand the thought of Giles, Spike or Xander touching her. Gunn was alright though. He seemed pretty happy with Fred. Just as long as there were no long hugs. This was definitely going to drive him to bite someone!
“Quit pouting. It’s not like I’ve turned into a clingy person. There are just times when a person needs a hug.” She started kissing his neck. She whispered. “You’re the only one I want.” She nibbled and sucked the skin on his non-pulse point.
He groaned. “What are you doing?” He purred as she sucked harder.
She nibbled a little more before responding. “I’m marking my property.” She giggled as she felt a whoosh of air and found herself pinned to the bed. Her giggle turned into a moan as he attacked her neck. She felt his face change.
“You know I love both your faces, don’t you?” She felt him pull away from her neck. She looked into his yellow eyes. “You’re always beautiful to me.” She reached up and stroked his ridges with her fingertips. “I love you, my sweet manpire.” She pulled his head down for a kiss. She swept her tongue into his mouth and ran it along his teeth. She retreated back into her mouth only to dive back in and impale her tongue on his fangs.
As the taste of her blood touched his tongue, he felt his demon thrash for control. He sucked her tongue into his mouth until the small cut closed. He released her mouth and began kissing down her neck until he reached the mark he’d started to make.
His demon wanted to give her a real mark, but his soul resisted. He slid back into his human face. He latched onto his mark and reveled on the sweet taste of her skin. His hand slid under her shirt and made its way toward her breast.
Before he reached his target, she smacked him on the back of his head. “Oww! Cordy, c’mon you marked me!”
“Not that dumbass. Your hand was going someplace it shouldn’t.”
He put on his best puppy face. “What’s wrong with that?”
“You haven’t taken me on a single date yet and you think you should already have groping rights. I don’t think so. I want romance.”
He smiled at her pouty expression and rolled off of her. “I think that can be arranged. For now I’ll just settle for snuggles.”
She started giggling. “I never thought I’d see the day when the former Scourge of Europe actually used the word snuggles in a sentence.”
He pulled her head down to rest on his shoulder. “Well the former Scourge of Europe never dreamed of meeting someone like you. You are one of a kind Cordelia Chase.”
“Well duh!” She snuggled into his arms. “You still haven’t asked about the higher realms.”
“I know. I was waiting for you to bring it up. No more secrets, remember?”
“Yeah”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“At first I was just grateful that you weren’t mad at me for leaving. I know you didn’t blame me, but you were so angry with the powers. The belief that they let me come home seemed to calm you down. I was afraid you’d declare war on them if you knew I had to cut a deal in order to leave.”
“I would have been furious at first, but the truth is I can’t think of a better person to act as a guide to lost souls than you.”
She looked up at him. “Do you mean that?”
“Yes. Don’t you realize that is exactly what you’ve been for me. You are my heart, my humanity and my guide. I need you so much.”
She tried to blink back the tears. “Angel, I know you may think you’ve been the only one benefiting from our friendship, especially since I never told you certain things, but that isn’t true. It was your mission and unfathomable compassion that brought this family together.
It was my belief in you that’s helped me become the woman I am today. You may focus on the sacrifices I’ve made but I know everything I’ve endured has been worth it. I consider myself very lucky to have you in my life. You’ve saved more than my life these past few years. You are my hope, my inspiration and my savior. I will always need you.”
He stroked her cheek with his thumb. “You are truly an amazing woman. I love you.”
She turned her face to kiss his palm. “You’re pretty amazing yourself. I love you too.”
“I’m sorry.”
She scrunched up her forehead. “For what?”
“Spike. He’s a lost soul you’ve been trying to help. You wanted my help and instead of supporting you like you do for me, I gave both of you a hard time.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. You didn’t know about my mission.”
“Spike told me you seemed to know more than you should have. Did you have a vision?”
“No thank goodness. I so do not need a vision of Spike and Buffy enjoying bondage fun. The powers just give me the knowledge. It was a little freaky at first. It’s like suddenly I have someone else’s memories.”
Angel frowned. “Were you scared?”
“No just a little overwhelmed. I’m pretty quick at adjusting to the strange. Knowing about his life without any bias he has helps me to help him.”
His frown deepened as a thought occured to him. “If you’d had a vision of them, you would have gotten to see him naked. You wouldn’t have had to ask Buffy.”
She started giggling. “I hadn’t thought of it that way. I bet he’s all washboard stomachy.” She blinked up at the now yellow eyes above her. She wasn’t afraid, so she decided to push him a little further. “And those beautiful blue eyes!”
He couldn’t believe this woman. He was vamped out and had her pinned to the bed and she still pushed. “You will never ever see him naked! You’re mine.” He smashed his lips to hers. He used her moan to invade her mouth. His fangs cut her tongue and lips. He stopped when his mouth filled with her blood. “Oh God, Cor! I hurt you!”
She laughed at his panicked look. “I think I’m gonna enjoy belonging to you.” She pulled him back down for another heated kiss.
He relaxed and allowed his human features to return. He used his hand to tilt her face and deepen the kiss. He felt her clasp one of his hands and lay it on her breast. He smiled against her mouth.
She let out a moan as his thumb flicked her hardening nipple. She groaned her disappointment when his hand disappeared. She sighed as it reappeared under her shirt and grabbed her lace covered breast.
He began trailing kisses down her neck. He felt her hands roaming his back spreading their warmth. He used his teeth to undo her shirt. It was his after all. He spread open the now buttonless shirt. “You are so beautiful.” He dipped his head to land butterfly kisses along her torso until he engulfed a lace covered nipple.
His hands slipped behind her to unhook her bra. He didn’t register the knocking until she started pushing him away. “You have got to be kidding me!”
She pulled her shirt together. “Whoever that is has really lousy timing.” She blew out a frustrated breath.
He pushed her shirt open again. “Let’s just ignore them. They’ll go away eventually.”
She smacked his hands away. “Or they will fear the worst, smash thru the door and stake you.”
He growled as he carefully pulled a pair of pants on. He saw her climbing out of bed. “Don’t move. After I kill whoever is on the other side of that door, we are picking up exactly where we left off.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “As romantic as that sounds, I’m hungry. I am gonna take a shower and then get something to eat.” She grabbed her bag and headed to the bathroom. “I’m locking the door. Don’t even think about joining me.” She shut the door behind her.
He growled when he heard the lock click. He threw open his bedroom door to find a smirking Spike. “You asshole. How long have you been there?”
“Long enough to know your chit wants to see me naked. I feel really bad about interrupting what you’re not supposed to be doing, but vamp detective is needed downstairs.”
“Why did they send you?”
“Gunn and Fred figured you wouldn’t be a very happy vampire about being bothered. I volunteered to get you. I don’t really like you when your happy.”
“Do you have any idea how hard you make it to be nice to you?”
“I don’t want your pity, Angelus. Now come downstairs.”
“I’ll be down in a minute. I need to get dressed.”
“Don’t forget to bring Cordelia with you. Nice hickey by the way!” He shut the door as he left.
Angel stared at the bathroom door. He could hear the water running. Images of water cascading down her naked flesh bombarded his mind. He knew his restraint wasn’t up to the challenge and got dressed.
A fully dressed Cordelia came out as he was putting on his shoes. She was rubbing a towel on her wet hair.
“We have a case.”
“We do? I didn’t know we had any clients. Who was at the door?”
“Spike”
She froze. “Was he listening?”
“Yes. He enjoyed rubbing in the fact that my girlfriend wants to see him naked.”
“Aww! Baby, I was just teasing. You’re the only vampire I want naked.” She paused. “Did you just call me your girlfriend?”
Angel wrapped his arms around her. “You seem to be having a hard time understanding what ‘you’re mine’ means.”
She smacked his chest. “I know what it means. It’s just hearing you call me your girlfriend gives me a happy.” She gave him a quick kiss. “Now let’s go find out about this case.”
He felt his entire being tense at her words. He was about to give her a happy when they were interrupted. He might not be allowed to have one but he wanted her to have all the pleasure she could take. He relaxed.
She was his now. There would be happy giving time after the case.
