Title: The Sunday Drive
Summary: Angel and Cordy take their first drive in the sun together
Spoilers: S4 Finale crap
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters, but if I did, I’d treat them better than those that do.
Distribution: Go Team, ST, AO, JF and anyplace as long as you tell me!
Notes: I was going to the grocery store today and had a Cordy moment that stretched into this conversation which I had to write as soon as I got home. I hope you enjoy it. It made me smile.
Feedback: Of course. I’ve got an ego that loves a good massage.
Good ol’ Wolfram & Hart. Who knew a little necro-whatever coating could make a car vampire-drivable in the middle of the day? Angel’s such a happy dork right now.
Of course it took my amazing brain to come up with the idea. He’s all “I’ll have to take the sewers” and I’m like “Just take the car. They did put that evil coating on your car windows didn’t they?” The expressions that passed over his face were typically Angel.
First was the “huh, what did you say” stare, then the “what evil coating” confusion head tilt, then came the “oh, that evil coating” comprehension nod, then the “why didn’t I think of that” duh head-slapping moment, then the “oh my God what a great idea” toothy grin, and lastly the “what button do I push to get this done now” clumsy, techno-retard full body jerk.
Where is Candid Camera when you need it?
So here we are in his fully daylight friendly, top up, air-condition blasting, cool as hell black convertible tooling up the 5 for a lazy Sunday drive. And it’s 2:00 in the afternoon. Angel is in heaven and I’m sitting right next to him grinning from ear to ear. He really does look sexy in those sunglasses. It’s like he’s 6-years old and never been outside ever. I’ve never seen him this totally uninhibited and…happy.
I’m playing tour guide, of course, but it got more difficult when we hit the Valley because … well … it’s the Valley, and I don’t do the Valley. But on the left is something I recognize and I’m eager to be able to share something new with him again.
“Oh, look. Cancer Village. Bring grandma, grandpa and all the kids for six, fun-filled hours in our skin-burning, cancer-inflicting pools and slides.”
“It says water park, not Cancer Village. Oooohh. That’s a water park? I always wanted to go to one of those. Are they open at night? Maybe we can stop there on the way back?”
“What? And actually put this body in a pool that 2,000 kids just peed in? It’s just a big slide into the biggest toilet bowl in America. No, thanks bud.” Angel actually stuck out his lower lip to pout. He definitely has spent too much time around me. Damn! “But, hey, you’re a vamp and immune to filth, so who am I to deny you your simple pleasures? I’ll watch and cheer you on big guy.” There’s that smile I love…stuck on that man’s face I love.
Angel’s mind, which wasn’t made from the steel-trap mold, finally clamped around my original assessment of the park. “Why did you call it Cancer Village?”
“Well, duh. Sun? Water? Harmful UV rays? It’s a big petrie dish for growing skin cancer!”
“Well, okay, I get that. But isn’t that kind of hypocritical of you?”
“What? What are you talking about?” I think he’s been out in the sun too long.
“Your skin. It’s always tanned. You’ve probably got a ten-year start on all those people when it comes to skin cancer.” Hmmm. He actually sounded concerned. That’s sweet. Too bad he’s an idiot.
“This is not a tan, mister. This is my natural skin tone.”
Angel giggled. Okay, now I know he’s delirious. He did NOT actually giggle. At ME!
“I think you’d better put a sock in that snicker before I forget and accidentally put the top down.”
“I’m sorry, Cordy.” Now he was trying to talk in between actual guffaws. “But, *giggle* you really *chuckle* don’t expect anybody *snigger* to buy that, do you?” *high-pitched howl*
He really could piss me off sometimes. Especially when he’s right.
“Okay, so it’s not so much natural as chemically engineered.”
“Chemically engineered? What does that mean? Do you drink something?”
“Geez, Angel. Join us here in the 21st Century why dontcha? Tanning cream? We’ve come a long way baby, and NASA spent millions of my tax dollars perfecting tanning cream and who am I to snub progress?”
“But, isn’t that unnatural and, I dunno…fake?”
“Do you really think a fake tan makes me more shallow? Okay, that didn’t sound right. “Don’t answer that! Besides, when would I, vision girl and all around great fighter against all that is evil, have time to lounge around catching rays.”
“I don’t know. I guess I thought maybe you went to one of those tanning booth places. They don’t take long, do they?”
“Oh, my God. Who do you think I am? I’d rather swim in that huge toilet bowl back there than lie naked in somebody else’s sweat. Those beds are fungus cesspools.”
“Sorry. What do I know from tans? Hellooo. Pale Rider here.”
“Did you just make a pop culture joke? Yeah, it was 40-years ago culture, but still pop. I’m proud of you.” So I leaned over and kissed his cheek. What else can you do when he does something that cute? The car swerved a bit. Guess I’d better not kiss him while he’s driving.
“So rather than spend time in the sun, which I’d give my right arm to do, you sit in your apartment and rub cream all over your body? Is it all over?” He looks sideways at me with the most evil, all-man grin I’ve ever seen.
“You will….probably….never know.” I give him my evil, all-woman grin right back. The car swerves again. Gotcha!
“And haven’t you figured out yet that I don’t even really like the sun. It’s hot and makes you all sticky with the sweat and then there’s a rash. Yuck. Not to mention all the crows feet from the squinting and the leathery winkles. No sir. Just call me Luna, moon goddess and lover of all that is bathed in starlight.”
“But…you just seem like a sun person. I mean you deserve the sun.”
He’s the only person that can take me from ecstatically happy to maudlin in a split second. And smiling to crying just as fast. God I love this man so much. When is he ever going to realize it?
“Nobody deserves the sun, Angel. It doesn’t sit in the sky all day mocking you because you’re all evil. It’s not God’s judgment on you. It just is.”
“I know. But when you can’t have something for so long, it feels like punishment. And I don’t want you to ever feel that kind of punishment because of me. You deserve everything, and I want to give it to you.”
Okay, now I’m really crying and I just hope he keeps his eyes on the road and doesn’t look at me.
“You only have to give me one thing and I’d have the world.”
The car swerved…big time.