Who’s Taming Who?

Title: Who’s Taming Who?
Author: Califi
Posted: 20 Feb 05
Rating: R for language
Category: Torture *snikker* & humor (hopefully)
Content: C/Aus ‘banter’, ;).
Summary: Cordelia beats Angelus at his own game…
Spoilers: End of Eternity, S1
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: GT/AO/JF
Notes: It is a five minute thing and not betared, although I have checked it over for typos and shizz….but let me stress here: I CANNOT guarantee the quality of the content.
Dedication:Well, Lysa told me I owed her a ficlet. Can’t remember why, (probably blackmail, lol). Anyhoo, here be it.
Feedback:It’s appreciated.


Icy water awoke him with an unpleasant start. He knew for a fact it was that cold due to the ice cube that clung to his cheek for a second before slithering down to settle uncomfortably into the crook of his neck. “What the fuck?”

The strangled snarl caused a satisfied grin to settle on her face as she stared down at him from her place by his bed. Amused hazel eyes connected with furious amber. He was not pleased she was more than happy to see.

“Enjoying your beauty sleep? Though I can see it didn’t help much” Cordelia commented archly, tongue in cheek as the incensed demon strained at his chains before cursing prolifically and settling back with a fulminous glare and a show of feral teeth.

“I was until some little slut came in and woke me up,” Angelus growled out the insult and briefly scowled in disappointment when it seemed to pass over her head like water off a duck’s back. Another snarl broke loose as the thought of water reminded him of his wet hair and sodden silk shirt.

The little bitch would pay for that…if ever he managed to break free from his restraints before the soul took the reins yet again. That thought aggravated him more than the smirking girl looking down at him.

“Go play with Wussley- or better yet,” his pale lips twisted into a travesty of a smile, “go rehearse a play. Not that it would make any difference to your total lack of acting skills,” he added nastily and felt a little pleasure at the instant tightening of her fine features. Sadly, for him, it didn’t last.

Every muscle in his body tightened at the slow shit-eating grin that spread across her face, and for a moment, Angelus sincerely wished that the prissy Watcher-has been would make a show. He had always known Cordelia Chase had the makings of a superb vampire –

“Talking of rehearsing.” Cordelia’s hand, which until now had been hidden behind her back and had subsequently, gone unnoticed by the chained vampire, came into view and she triumphantly flourished a sheaf of neatly stapled papers. “I thought you could be my study buddy since you haven’t got much else to do.” The grin grew to extreme proportions.

Angelus groaned inwardly. She hadn’t even started yet and already he felt sick to his stomach. Instantly he revised his last thoughts: Cordelia Chase had no need to be turned into a soulless vampire to be an evil, sadistic bitch. “Stake me now, for fuck’s sake.” He didn’t bother to mutter the words because right now, a large part of him wanted her to hear them clearly and take him up on it.

Cordelia leaned closer, careful to keep out of reach of those wickedly sharp and bared fangs. “Believe me, I’m tempted, but two things are stopping me.” Straightening up she turned and perched her butt on the side of the bed, wriggling a little to get comfortable before glancing down at him. “One: Angel is in there, and HE is my friend.”

“You like to think that,” Angelus interrupted gruffly. “But truthfully? He’s just a shlub for a sob story. Couldn’t bear the thought of you ending up a hooker or worse if left to your own pathetic devices.” Score! He watched avidly as for a moment her face crumpled with sheer hurt. “Though I personally think you’d make a great little Pro- especially with those assets.” He leered briefly at her heaving breasts before flicking his eyes back up to soak up her pain.

Cold hazel eyes locked with his and he almost pouted in disappointment. Damn, she’d make a great vampire. If Buggy hadn’t interrupted when she had…

“And TWO: I need a study buddy.” Cordelia’s reminded him brightly. Her turn now to interrupt him. And boy was it a killer.

Damn that interfering Slayer, Angelus nodded to himself, then rolled his eyes in disgust when he caught the title of the play as she flipped over a couple of pages. ‘The Taming of the Shrew’. Oh, he’d tame her all right, he thought to himself confidently, then growled in aggravation. If ever he managed to get out of the chains pinning him to the bed, that is.

Cordelia stifled a grin as she pretended concentration on the text of the pages she flipped.

Unsurprisingly enough, Wes had a full set of these moldy old play scripts- as well as The Life and Times of William Shakespeare; reviews and famous quotes. Her own eyes rolled at the total sadness that was Wesley Wyndham Pryce, and then sighed inwardly before going over her plans for the night. She should have known Evil Fangy would dig the knife in a bit more, but decided it was worth it to get a little payback of her own.

Although, she had to admit it had taken everything in her not to fold at his newest batch of insults. Possibly because it had sometimes occurred to her where she would be right now if Angel hadn’t saved her- not once, but twice by giving her a much-needed job. Only the thought of how Angel would later feel about his counterparts’ words once he was again in control gave her the strength of will to shove the hurt and insecurities behind an already well constructed wall.

While Cordelia was again lost in her own thoughts, Angelus relished the silence. Maybe the drug would wear off before she remembered why she came in here? She wouldn’t do this to the soul. No way. Then he cringed. Dammit! Now he was praying for the soul to take over again just to save him from the little termagant sitting comfortably on his bed. What the hell had he done so bad to be made to suffer like this? He wondered, despondently. Oh, that’s right; he’d employed her!

Thank all that’s unholy that Spike isn’t around to witness this. He almost choked at the thought, then cursed himself virulently when it roused Cordelia with a start and after blinking like an owl at him for a moment, she cleared her throat and folded back the loose pages neatly.

“I don’t need to go in any order, so I’ll just plow in, okay?” she told him briskly, deliberately ignoring the ‘like the way you did last night?’ comment from the chained lump on the bed.

“Okay, here goes.” Clearing her throat again and taking a deep breath she began.

Why, sir, I trust I may have leave to speak;
And speak I will; I am no child, no babe:
Your betters have endured me say my mind,
And if you cannot, best you stop your ears.

“Oh, fer… Look. Tell me what you want and it’s yours. If you stop right now,” One verse and Angelus was almost begging as she, he was sure, deliberately butchered the dialogue. He knew she was bad, but not that bad!

After sending him a brief ‘forget it’ look her eyes turned back to the script.

“My tongue will tell the anger of my heart,
Or else my heart concealing it will break,”

“Mine already has, woman!. Let. Me. LOOSE!”

“And rather than it shall, I will be free
Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words”.

“I swear, if you don’t ‘please’ in other ways besides words, I WILL kill you when I get loose.” Angelus warned thickly, his left eye twitching spasmodically by now. All he could think of at this moment was that if only a few lines had him in a near state of hysteria, what would a whole play do? His bottom lip trembled at the thought.

“Yawn yawn. You’d kill me anyway, so shut the hell up.” Cordelia leaned down and poked him hard in his side with her elbow.

“Hell sounds like a good compromise to me.” Angelus managed to speak over the almost choking anger and fear- yes, FEAR that tightened his throat. “Open a portal to one and throw me in – or better yet, get Wussley to open one, because you would probably open one to the Mall or somewhere equally as STUPID.” Her quelling expression told him clearly that he’d pretty much blown that plea out of the water by adding that last bit and clamped his lips together tightly.

He could get through this. After all, he was Angelus! No one could torture as well as him. Especially jumped up little sluts like Cordelia Chase…


Sitting comfortably in Angel’s favorite chair, Wesley sipped his tea, appreciating the fine blend his boss had so kindly bought, and sighed contentedly. At this present moment in time, life was indeed good.

“Asses are made to bear, and so are you.”

Although shuddering in horror, Wesley had to marvel at Cordelia’s unique ability to completely massacre a beloved work of literature without even trying. The fact that she was now, made him grin in admiration.

When first she’d come up with the idea of how to ‘make that evil pond scum suffer’, Wesley had baulked at the thought. Eventually, Angel would be back to his old self, and no doubt recall every excruciating second of torture Cordelia doled out on his evil alter ego, but after assuring him that she’d take full blame, he’d folded faster than damp ironing.

“WESLEYYYY!” After taking another sip of his tea, Wesley leaned back with grin.

Of course, it had nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that a part of him liked Cordelia’s idea of ‘ultimate payback’, and as he listened to the desperate calls of the supposed Scourge of Europe, Wes was convinced that the pleading tone lessened the throbbing in his head by the second.

The tea was just the icing on the cake.



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