Part 35
“Did you see her? Could she have glued her blondself any more closely to Angel? She’s a tarty creeping clinging dye job.” Cordelia squinted out the window back towards Angel’s car. “She’s practically in his lap. Can we say slutorama?”
Methos wasn’t sure what Duncan’s last comment had meant. But if it was a plan to separate Angel and Cordelia, it wasn’t working. The vampire may not be in the car with them but his presence was abundantly felt. Cordelia hadn’t stopped complaining about Angel and the dangers of blonde bimbos since she slid into the front seat.
“Hey, Why’s he going so fast? Hurry up.” She urged Duncan to catch up with the Plymouth convertible that passed Duncan’s black convertible.
***
Angel couldn’t stop his eyes from twitching. His anger at Duncan for swooping Cordy up from out under his nose was being pushed away by grabbing hands and an irritating voice. “Gabriel, don’t do that. It’s distracting.” He plucked her hand from his thigh repressing a deep grumbling growl.
“Oops,” the blonde coyly giggled.
Angel groaned.
Fred rolled her eyes burying herself further in the backseat between Wesley and Gunn. “Cordy’s right she’s skanky.” She mumbled nodding her head towards the blonde
“Fred, shush,” Wesley shook his head. “She just tries too hard. She’s young.”
“She’s trying to get into Angel’s pants. That ain’t young that’s skanky. Well, not necessarily trying to getting into Angel‘s….I mean…it’s just forward. That’s what Mama called girls like that- forward.” Fred crossed her arms.
“The girl does seem a little looser than the norm.” Gunn peered over the front seat at Gabby’s red dress. “Haven’t seen that get-up anywhere but the streets. Wild.”
“You like it? Cordy said she looked like trash, like she should be welcoming the soldiers home.”
“Damn, those soldier boys get all the fun.”
“Eww.”
Angel tried to ignore the whispers coming from the backseat as well as the chirping of the woman sitting next to him and concentrate on the plan that had been forming ever since he recognized Cordelia’s departing glare at Gabriel as the blonde smashed her body against him once Cordelia had moved away with Duncan.
Angel grimaced when Gabriel’s hand was back on his thigh. He pressed his foot on the gas.
The plan didn’t call for Gabriel to touch so much, not when the needed audience wasn’t present. He needed to get to Caritas. Once there he could hide from the woman until Cordy showed up. Angel pressed harder on the gas, breaking every traffic law known to man, looking over at the chatting woman with the voice that could put chalk on blackboard to shame.
It was all MacLeod’s fault that he was forced to resort to this. He wished he could just kill the Immortal.
Part 36
“Angel cakes, welcome back, you big lug.” Lorne greeted Angel at the door. “Kiddies, why the desperate combination of fear and relief on your pretty faces?”
Lorne studied Gabby, Fred, Wesley, and Gunn’s slightly disheveled appearances.
“Fear that Angel would kill us all and relief that we made it all in one piece.” Wesley shot a look at vampire.
“What?” Angel questioned.
“Um, Angel,” Fred gulped her fingers still clenched on Gunn’s forearm. “You were going kind of fast.”
“You were anxious to get here and we were late.”
“The more reason to make it here alive. I need a drink and to kiss the ground in gratitude.” Gunn shot back, his legs still shaky.
“Well for the drinkypoo you came to the right place, plenty of liquid delights are at your disposal.” Lorne looked behind the group. “I thought the trio of the Immortally beautiful were coming.”
“Angel passed them going a hundred miles a second. You said something about a drink. I agree with Gunn my nerves need settling.”
“It wasn’t that fast.” Angel insisted.
“My hair is a mess.” Gabby whined. Her hand patting at the wind tangled blond locks as she headed towards the rest rooms in the back.
Fred twirled her fingers through her own tangles. She’d live. Fred had no desire to share a comb and a mirror with the blonde.
“Your table awaits. You look adorable, Kitten, all wind blown and sparking” Lorne leaned into Fred before he weaved a path through the various demons patrons.
Angel groaned. “Champagne.” He focused on the two bottles nestled in ice displayed on the table. His wallet was feeling lighter by the second.
“The Princess called said not to scrimp, only the best tonight, crumb cake.” Lorne cheerfully patted Angel on the back. “Don’t look so glum, I’ve got more in the back chilling.”
“Ooh, champagne. I had champagne once at my cousin Myrtle’s wedding. She was wearing such a pretty white dress, though Aunt Betty said it would be more appropriate red. My cousin Billy, he was twelve so was I- he snuck some champagne from the table. It made my nose tingle and then I threw up.”
“Fred, honey, I’m sure I can find you something else.” Lorne quickly said.
“Oh no, I liked it.” Fred eagerly grabbed a glass.
“Well, then let the party begin.” Lorne popped the cork of the first bottle.
***
Cordelia pushed her way into the bar, shoving at a bumpy spiky demon. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” She planted her fist on her hips once she got to the table.
Angel looked up from his flute of champagne. “What did I do?”
“Geez,” Cordelia rolled her eyes. “Mr. Speed Racer. You ran three red lights, a stop sign and almost hit an old woman and her shopping cart. If you had a license Iid demand you’d give it up.” Cordelia moved to the empty seat next to vampire.
Angel waved her away. “I’m saving that for Gabby, she’s fixing her hair. Don’t you think she has nice hair?” He smiled innocently, enjoying the flush of anger and dismay on Cordelia’s face.
His desire to laugh at Cordelia’s speechlessness dimmed as the approaching blonde over heard his compliment and giggled as she plopped in the chair, scooting it even closer to Angel.
His desire plummeted when MacLeod offered Cordy the chair next to the Immortal, guiding the stunned woman into it. Angel realized then that there would be a price to pay for his plan. It was going to be a long night. He draped his arm over Gabby’s chair. “Champagne?” He offered to the giggling blonde.
Cordelia gritted her teeth. What game was that damn vampire playing? He wasn’t attracted to the Gabby Ho. Angel hadn’t shown any interested in the woman before. Except, he had said at one point that maybe he should get to know her better. Cordelia’s eyes widened.
Angel was actually touching Gabriel’s hair. Her BLONDE hair. Cordelia grabbed the glass Duncan was holding out, downing the champagne in one gulp.
“Cordy?” Duncan leaned in whispering.
“More.” She thrust her glass back at him.
Success was bitter sweet. Angel looked with a hooded gaze as the handsome Immortal leaned in brushing Cordelia’s arm as he poured her another glass.
Wesley could feel the tension tightening his shirt collar. What in gods name was Angel doing?
“Wesley.” Methos tapped a finger on the table to get the watcher’s attention.
“Yes.”
“Did you have a chance to translate the spell?”
“Why are you so anxious?”
“I’m just interested.”
Wesley sighed at the non-answer. “I’ve managed to get through most of it. However, the structure and form requires more study.”
“Well, let me know.”
Wesley nodded sipping at his glass, determined to ferret out the Immortal’s concern.
Lorne nudged at Gunn, his head cocking towards Angel, Gabby, Duncan, and Cordelia. “Did I miss an episode of ‘All My Vampire’?”
Gunn shrugged. “The vamp is jealous. Cordy clueless. Duncan’s still here and as a result, Angel must have gone bonkers.” He rolled his eyes towards the vampire who was whispering something in the blonde’s ear.
“Ahh,” Lorne nodded. “I better go get more of the bubbly. This night is going to need it.”
Angel’s head jerked up at the sound of Cordelia’s laughter. He resisted the urge to brush his face to get rid of the artificial chemical smell of Gabriel’s hair. What in the hell kind of hair products did the woman use. It smothered any natural smell of the woman. His fleeting question fled as Cordy laughed again.
“What’s so funny?” He had to ask.
“Inside joke.” Cordy patted Duncan’s hand, sharing a smile with the Immortal. “You had to be there.”
“What the good are inside jokes- jokes are only good if shared.” Angel insisted, bristling at the idea that Cordy had a secret with MacLeod.
“Geez.” Cordelia rested her chin on her on her palm. “Okay, well, the last time Duncan and I were in San Francisco, we saw a couple at the table next to us. They had champagne, the same type,” she lifted her glass. “They went from being in love to hating each other in the course of a bottle. We were just hoping that this wouldn’t have the same uplifting effect. I should’ve checked with Lorne about what type his most expensive was.”
“I don’t get it. That’s not funny.”
“I told you- you had to be there.” Cordy rolled her eyes.
Angel narrowed his. “Why were you in San Francisco?”
“Dinner, duh”
“What’s wrong with the restaurants in LA? And since when has San Francisco been your Mecca?”
“It’s different, nice, fun. I like different, nice and fun.”
“You’ve never even mentioned San Francisco before.”
“Pfft. You don’t know everything about me, Angel.”
Angel let Gabriel’s reaching hands drag him back towards her, he was too staggered to resist. He knew Cordelia, it took two years, but he did. The process of knowing her, really knowing her was the one thing that had kept him grounded over the years. But here she was smiling, sharing inside jokes with another man and declaring to the world that Angel didn’t know her.
Angel did know her and he would prove it. A quick glance made sure that Cordelia’s attention was still on him. He ignored her and fastened his eyes back on the blonde. His eyes were drawn to the seer’s most obvious attributes.
Angel resisted his need to shudder. There was something unnatural about those two pushed up pounds of flesh glaring back over the top of red leather. Gabby’s breasts seemed to resist gravity, looking like two beach balls that were ready to take flight. Angel couldn’t help but compare the sight to the picture of Cordelia standing in his shower, her breast exposed.
Firm globes, working with gravity to create soft pillows resting against sweet skin, making his hands itch to lift the weight to feel it in his palms, the malleable flesh moving with his fingers’ manipulation bringing the tanned erect nipple to his lips. Breasts made by the gods to bring comfort and pleasure. Gabriel’s on the other hand, looked like too much work just keep them from leaping and attacking.
Cordelia curled a bronzed painted lip. First she had been subjected to the sight of Gabby Ho’s grabby hands. What happened to her plan to get as far far away as she could from the blonde? Instead evil fate gave Cordelia a front and center seat. And now, Cordy wanted to scream and claw out the woman’s eyes. No wait she wanted to claw out Angel’s.
That damn vampire had been staring at the blonde’s ample chest for minutes that seemed like hours. Did he’s eyes just darken? What was that smile for? What was Angel thinking about? Cordelia was going to scream….she would not scream she had a better idea.
Cordelia leaned in and not to subtly knocked her glass. “Whoops,” she sat back and watched the champagne travel across the table to finally puddle in and down Gabby’s chest that was conveniently displayed and pressed against the surface. Cordelia couldn’t help her warm fuzzy feeling of satisfaction as the blonde shrieked grabbing at her wet breast and Angel jumped up wiping at the drops that splattered his pants.
Fred had to brace her arms on the table to stop her shaking body from slipping under the table in a fit of giggles.
Gunn spurted out a laugh spraying Wesley and Methos with Champagne.
Wesley and Methos’ eyes met, their sighs and the brushing of their jackets identical.
“What happened here?” Lorne materialized suddenly, soaking up the spilt champagne with a cloth napkin.
“I had a little accident. Sorry.” Cordelia smiled, her smug expression followed the blonde’s squealing retreat to the bathrooms.
“Give me that.” Angel grabbed at the napkin Lorne had started to pat against his crotch. “I can do it.”
Lorne shrugged. “Just trying to be helpful.”
“Well, don’t.” Angel looked up at Cordelia. “Nice shot.”
“I don’t know what you’re taking about, Angel. It was an accident. I said I was sorry.”
“Right.”
“Hmmph, serves you right, you shouldn’t had you’re nose buried in her boobs. Good thing you don’t have to breathe, you would’ve been smothered.Ooh, Ang…e..l,” Cordelia whined in a high voice. “Look at my really big breasts.” She leaned over her arms pressing at the sides of her breast pushing her cleavage out on the table. “Perv.” She sat back up crossing her arms.
“Yes, well, I need a drink.” Wesley got up from the table, not wanting to see the start of what had to be an argument.
“We have champagne here.” Fred pointed.
“I need something stronger.” Wesley hurried to the bar.
“I think I’ll join him.” Methos got up.
“Wow, look at the time,” Lorne looked at this bare wrist. “Time for me to sing. See ya from the stage kiddies and no yelling, please, unless its screams of adoration for me.”
Angel sat back down. He wasn’t mad. A wet crotch was worth it. He did know Cordelia. Accident his ass.
Part 37
Methos leaned up from the bar as Duncan took the stool next to him. “I thought you were committed to being at the ring side of that little show.” He indicated the table Duncan just came from.
“I was. But there is no point.”
“Really?”
“It seems that Angel’s plan trumped mine.”
“What was your plan, exactly?”
“Make him jealous. Make him acknowledge his feelings. Give him that chance before…”
“Before what?”
“If he wasn’t smart enough to figure it out then he didn’t deserve Cordelia.”
“That plan could’ve gotten you killed.”
Duncan shrugged, turning to look back at the table. “It’s little difficult to make him jealous when Cordy is practically ignoring me to fume every five minutes at the game he’s playing with Gabriel.”
“You noticed that did you?”
“I’d be blind not to.” Duncan shook his head. “Cordelia’s too mad to even see that it is a game. It be funny if it wasn’t so sad.”
“So what’s your plan now?”
“Enjoy the evening as best as I can, keep Cordy from killing Gabby, confirm once more that Cordy wants to stay and then tomorrow leave.”
“Leave? I don’t think that a good idea.” Methos couldn’t believe what he was saying.
From the look on Duncan’s face, the highlander didn’t either. “You want to stay?”
“Wesley’s in the middle of translating a spell that I’m interested in, I want to wait until he’s done.”
“A spell? Since when…this is about the book Cassandra asked for. What’s your interest?”
“I…I just think we should stay for the time being. Has Joe heard from Cassandra’s watcher?”
“He hasn’t called.”
Part 38
“Can you believe it? I can’t.” Cordelia looked in the mirror to see Fred’s answer.
“It is a little strange.”
“A little?” Cordelia swung around. “Angel’s acting weird, more than weird, scary weird.”
Fred looked up from her attempt to copy Cordelia’s action of redoing her lipstick. “Scary weird?”
“Yeah,” Cordelia waved her hands as she started to pace the tiles of the Ladies’ Restroom. “Leering, smirking, touching, he’s letting that woman crawl over him. It’s Angelus scary weird.”
“Angelus, but doesn’t he have to…”
“She’s blonde, that may be joy enough for him. Blondes’ always make him weird. Pfft. You should’ve seen him during Darla’s resurrection. She was blonde.”
Fred didn’t know what to say. Angel WAS acting strangely. “Wouldn’t Angelus kill everybody?”
Cordelia shrugged her concession. “Okay, so he’s not Angelus. I hate her. She’s so…”
“Trashy?”
“Yeah.”
“Whiny?”
“Yeah.”
“Forward.”
“Yeah.”
“Trying to get into Angel’s pants?”
“Over my dead body.” Cordelia huffed crossing her arms. “No one is getting in Angel’s pants except me…I mean when I’m here. Angel, sex, Angelus nope, not happening.”
Fred blinked at the slip. Ah. She knew it. Cordelia was jealous. Fred wondered if Angel knew that as well. Fred had to think he did. He always seemed to wait until Cordelia was looking before he whispered into Gabriel’s ear. Why would Angel want Cordelia to be jealous? Fred knew she was close to an answer.
“That woman is such a exhibitionist. I’m shocked she turned down Lorne’s invitation for someone to sing. She could’ve done a strip tease for Angel.”
“Maybe she can’t sing.” Fred wrinkled her nose. “You’ve heard her, right? When she sang for Lorne- what did he read, by the way?”
“He didn’t.”
“I thought….didn’t he read her when he read you.”
Cordelia closed her eyes at the memory. Wesley had taken both Cordelia and Gabriel straight to Caritas when Gabriel had showed up claiming to be Angel’s seer. Lorne had read Cordelia and said that he couldn’t sense a connection to the Powers anymore.
He had cushioned his words with a soft smile saying it didn’t really mean anything since he had never read an Immortal before, maybe the link was still there. Cordelia had thought it was sweet, but she had known that Lorne was just saying it for her benefit.
“She had a vision. No reason for Lorne to read her. She was taking forever in picking out her song when it hit. Confirmation from the Powers- no reading necessary.”
“Oh.” Fred wanted to hug the brunette. Cordelia looked so sad. “It’s okay, Cordy.” She gently laid a hand on the young woman’s arm too unsure of Cordelia’s reaction to a hug. Fred liked to believe that they were friends, but Cordy didn’t always like people in her personal space. Fred scrunched up her face, except for Angel.
A slow light bulb formed into a click her mind. It just wasn’t that Angel and Cordelia were best friends or jealous of Duncan and Gabriel, they loved each other.
Cordelia gave Fred’s hand a small squeeze. “Thanks.” She smiled. “You’ve been a good friend.”
Fred blinked up. “You too.” She smiled.
Cordelia looked back at the mirror, studying her reflection. “Ready for the second act of the slutorama show.”
“I guess.” Fred had to figure out a way to separate Angel and Gabriel. The blonde was an unwanted obstacle to her friends’ happiness.
Part 39
Wesley sighed. The only thing that had been enjoyable about the evening had been Fred’s bubbly enthusiasm at being out. But, now that seemed to be gone.
The young woman had returned from the restroom with Cordelia in a contemplative mood – no longer excited but glaring at Gabriel and Angel with a furrowed brow.
Wesley had to admit he wanted to glare, also. It took him a few moments after the shock of seeing Angel’s arm around the blonde to figure out what the vampire was up to. Wesley wasn’t confident about Angel’s plan.
Making Cordelia jealous was akin to making her mad. And a mad Cordelia wasn’t a fun thing to be around. Angel was playing with fire. He had to know that.
Angel was getting very tired of listening to Gabby twitter and her touching him. And any satisfaction at making Cordy mad was waning. Angel wasn’t so sure anymore what he had hoped to accomplish.
Granted, his actions had diverted Cordelia’s intention from MacLeod’s presence for the most part, but she was still sitting next to him, still allowing him to fill her glass with more champagne, still allowing him to scoot into her personal space, still laughing and smiling at the Immortal.
Angel was beginning to think that Cordelia was just getting mad because she didn’t like Gabriel not because of any jealousy for the woman.
He tuned out Gabriel’s voice and concentrated on Duncan and Cordelia’s low conversation.
“I wish we had gone to San Francisco.”
“That was my idea.” Duncan whispered.
“I know, I should’ve listened. This has been just horrible. At least in San Francisco, I wouldn’t have been witness to Grabby Gabby’s tactics and Angel- what’s wrong with him. He’s like all over her.”
“Maybe he likes her?” Duncan suggested softly.
“Likes her?” She shot back her voice still low. “Hmmph.” Her indignant tone changed to resignation. “Wouldn’t surprise me any. He can’t see past blondeness.”
“Cordy, are you jealous?”
Angel leaned in discreetly needing to hear Cordelia’s answer.
“Pfft. Jealous of her, yeah right. I’m just worried. What the hell is Angel thinking? It’s not like he can have sex or anything. He’s a eunuch and he’s just acting stupid. I tell you I’m going to be really pissed if I have to stake his ass, just because Gabriel’s a slut and he’s horny. He can’t have sex. I told you about the curse.”
Duncan nodded. “The vampire isn’t really good relationship material is he?”
Okay, Angel was officially mad. “I can have sex.”
Coincidence, fate, bad luck, whatever but Angel’s angry statement sounded at the exact time a lull had descended in the table’s conversation. All head’s jerked towards Angel.
Cordelia blinked. “Excuse me.”
“I can too have sex. I can have sex with anybody I want, Gabriel, her,” he pointed to a woman at the next table. “Anybody.”
“You can not, you wouldn’t, you couldn’t, you can’t.” Cordelia eye’s flashed.
“Yes I can.” Angel leaned in ignoring the blonde’s giggles and the gasps and groans of the others, his focus completely on Cordelia.
“No, you can’t.” Cordelia repeated.
“I always could, Cordelia. Did you really think that I didn’t have sex before Buffy? I’m 250 years old and have never been a eunuch. I could give you a list if you want.”
Gunn’s head knocked on the table. “Is the vamp trying to make her go ballistic?” He groaned to Wesley.
Wesley was tempted to follow Gunn’s example, or rather knock Angel’s head against the hard surface.
“The curse,” Cordelia stuttered. “Angelus…”
“The curse isn’t just about sex, it’s about a moment of pure contentment.” Angel did believe that after all he had had sex with a soul before Sunnydale, not as much as he had when he was Angelus, the isolation of his guilt with a soul wasn’t exactly an aphrodisiac, but he had but it wasn’t until Buffy that the curse came into play-the contentment of real love that had to be the reason, forgetting who he was and the evil he had committed because Buffy had loved him in return despite his past.
However, believing that and being willing to test his belief was another thing after Angelus’ appearance in Sunnydale. By Cordelia’s definition, he had been a eunuch since then. But Angel was too mad and frustrated at Cordy and MacLeod’s comments to explain more fully.
“The risk…or what; Buffy was the only one that could give you that?” Cordelia glared.
“There’s no risk.”
“Right, because she’s dead.” Cordelia shot a looked at the grinning blonde. God, the blonde was panting to jump on the table and strip for Angel. “Don’t be so happy.” Cordelia snapped. “Didn’t you hear- you can’t give him a moment of pure contentment only Buffy could do that.”
“Angel,” Wesley coughed. “The curse isn’t an exact science, I don’t recommend that you…”
“There’s no risk.” Angel’s eyes remained on Cordelia.
“Angel…”
Angel slowly turned to his friend. “I told you about the demon monks, aren’t you curious as why they showed up?”
“Angel?”
“They came to kill a Tibetan shaman, a shaman that was very powerful, powerful enough to do a spell, taking out the curse. I’ve a permanent soul.”
Wesley leaned back. “Oh.”
“YOU WHAT?” Cordelia jumped up from the table. “You, Me, outside, right now.” She ordered.
“Angel.” Gabriel attempted grab at the vampire.
Angel pushed her hand away and otherwise ignored her along with everyone else except the angry brunette. “After you, Cordy,” he made a sweeping gesture with his arm.
Cordelia glared and stomped off to the back of the bar.
Gunn turned to Wesley. “Should we’ve taken Cordy’s sword?”