Who Said You Only Live Once? 40-42

Part 40

Angel leaned up against the alley wall contemplating the woman moving in jerky steps around the alley.

He finally figured it out. Cordelia had been jealous. But, he was going to have to make her madder before a dent was made in her denial. And he needed a crack in her armor if he was going to get what he wanted.

Cordelia stomped around kicking at the ground, finally stopping to face the vampire. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It wasn’t any of your business.” Angel lied.

“NOT my business? It…” Cordelia started to wave her arms around. Of course it was her business. It…Cordelia stopped. Why was it her business? When there was threat of Angelus, it damn well was her business if Angel got groiny with anyone. But now, what was her reason? Angelus, right.

“The fact that I don’t have to worry about Angelus ever appearing is too my business.”

Angel pushed up from the wall. “Well now you know, no worries, so can I go back to Gabby?”

Cordelia’s eyes widened as a rush of panic and rage flooded from her head to her toes. Did Angel just say what she thought he said? “NO you can’t.”

“I thought I cleared up that issue.”

“YOU WILL NOT have sex with that blonde slut.”

Angel moved until he was inches away from Cordelia. “Why not?”

Cordelia blinked, trying to think of any rational reason. The Gabby is a Ho didn’t seem to bother the vampire. “Sex in the workplace, not a good thing, she’s your seer.”

“I think I could handle having sex with my seer. I’ve always wanted to.”

Cordelia stepped back. Doyle and Angel, eww.

Angel chuckled at her expression, stepping forward again. “Not Doyle, ” He brushed at an angry strain of hair, tucking it behind Cordelia’s ear, dropping his finger to trace along the young woman’s neck resting lightly on her pulse point.

It was vibrating. God, she was so alive. “Doyle hasn’t been my only seer, Cordelia, and the thought of making love to my very beautiful seer has kept me up many nights.”

Cordelia felt Angel’s low words ripple across her body, creating goose bumps and tremors along her panicky nerves. “ I’m not your seer, Gabriel is.” She whispered wishing that she could drag her eyes away from Angel’s deep brown ones. The intensity was scaring her. Cordelia bit her lip as she felt the breaking down of her defenses as his words caressed her.

Angel brushed a wide thumb across Cordy’s lips soothing their trembling. “I told you that the visions weren’t why I needed you, that they were just an after market extra. Nothing’s changed except now it’s the thought making love to a very beautiful Immortal that keeps me up nights.”

Cordelia stepped away from Angel’s touch. Her mind flying, her heart hurting as it pounded against her chest, a warm liquid pooling in her belly. She could no longer run from the question. “Why?” Her tongue wetting her lips nervously scared of the answer but needing to hear it.

“Because, I love you…I’m in love with you.” Angel corrected not wanting any misunderstandings.

“You love me? IN LOVE? Since when?” She choked out her whisper.

Angel chuckled. “I’m not really sure. I knew that I needed you when you were suffering from Vocah’s curse. I knew that you were my best friend when I actually went shopping and bought all those clothes for you just to get you to smile at me again. I knew that I could never loose you when you disappeared into Pylea, I knew that I loved you when the sadness and pain of Buffy’s death was tempered with the knowledge that I had saved you- that I could move on because of you- that I wanted to- that you were who I thought about when I thought of home.

The ‘in love’ part I knew because of jealousy. It took me wanting to kill Duncan to realize that all of the above was screaming that I was in love with you that I needed to be the only one to protect you, love you,” Angel brought his hand up to caress her cheek. “The only one to touch you.”

Cordelia’s lips worked double time. She was right to be scared of Angel’s answer just like she knew it was the only answer she wanted, needed to hear. Angel was in love with her. Wow. Which she guessed made things a little bit easier now that she had realized while struggling to listen to Angel’s words that she was in love with him, too.

Cordelia scrunched up her face and smacked the vampire.

“What was that for? I just told you that I loved you.” Angel grumbled.

“Yeah, after you told me that you wanted to have sex with that blonde bimbo and spent the whole evening staring down her dress.”

“I never said I wanted to have sex with her, I said I could if I wanted to. I don’t want to.” Angel defended.

“Oh, so what- you were staring at her breasts for what reason?”

“Merely a precaution, I was scared that they would jump out and attack me. Had to be ready to duck.” Angel shivered.

Cordelia narrowed her eyes but couldn’t stop her giggles at the comical expression of fear on Angel’s face.

“Cordy,” Angel reached out for the young woman. “You haven’t said how you feel about me loving you. You were jealous of Gabriel, does that mean you love me too.”

“Hmmph. I wasn’t jealous.” Cordelia let Angel encircle her waist. Her hands reaching up to rest on his chest, “but if you so much as glance at her boobs again, I’ll stake you.”

“Jesus, Cordy, that’s all you can see of her. There out to there and up to there.” His hands leaving Cordelia to make wild exaggerated motions in the air.

Cordelia laughed. “So, you’re not a breast man.”

“Oh, I am, just very selective. I’m limited to appreciating only one beautiful pair that look so tempting peeking out of my robe.” Angel reclaimed her waist with one strong arm pulling her flush against him, while his other hand moved under her jacket to gently traced the side of Cordelia’s breast, palming at the delicious weight.

“Those, I could see and taste all night.” He whispered lowly. Angel wanted to cry out as Cordelia pressed the weight further into his palm. He told her that he loved her, he was touching her, and she wasn’t running.

“Oh,” Cordelia gasped as Angel’s thumb started to slowly rub and circle her straining nipple through the cotton material. Her hands gripped Angel’s shoulders as Angel leaned in brushing his lips against her neck. “You haven’t answered my question.” Angel nipped into her throat.

“Uh, oh,” Cordelia wiggled her hips closer. “I.. mmm.” She bit her lips as Angel’s fingers found there way under her blouse and his mouth sucked on the tender flesh of her ear. She gasped as his fingers lightly pinched at her nipple. “love…you…too.” She struggled with the words, her breath raspy from the heat taking over her belly and spreading down to her toes.

Cordelia moaned the loss of Angel’s lips and hands. She blinked as his face loomed over hers a beautiful smile overcoming his face. Angel cradled her chin in his hands lifting her lips to his. Cordelia sunk into the kiss, her hands traveling up to scratch at the short hairs on Angel’s neck. She mimicked Angel’s movements, savoring the cool pressure sucking and pressing against her, she welcomed his exploring tongue, her own skating around his tasting a hint of champagne and all of the vampire. There was nothing in her world but the sensations of the kiss. It felt so right and as amazing as the heat spreading through out her body.

Angel savored the return of the warm soft silk of Cordelia’s mouth, his tongue searched for more of the flavor of Cordy. This was bliss, this was pleasure, this was coming home, all magnified by the words bouncing around his mind. Cordy said she loved him. She was his. He growled drawing the kiss deeper, claiming Cordelia with every touch of his lips.

Cordelia drew her hands from the back of his head, tracing her fingers to his jaw, pressing her thumbs to where there lips were joined, moving her head slightly away, taking a deep breath. Angel smiled. “Sorry,” he nipped at the thumb that was on his lips, his tongue swirling around the digit, bringing into his mouth.

Cordelia chuckled. “Suffocation by kiss wouldn’t be so bad, and sure I’d live again, but in between I’d miss all the fun.”

Angel heard the desire coating her words; it rang in his ears triggering a distinct need to get out of the alley before he had her against the wall.

Angel caressed her hair back resting his forehead on hers. “Can we call it night?”

“We can go home, but I don’t think we should call it night just yet.” She smiled.

Angel grinned at the seductive smirk, leaning back in for another taste of her smile. “I know we won’t.”


Part 41

Wesley met the couple at the back door. “Good, I was looking for you both.”

“Wesley, Cordy and I are leaving now. Here,” Angel pulled out his wallet. “Take care of it, get a ride back with the Immortals.” Angel moved to push Cordelia past.

Wesley looked at the wallet and then at Angel’s hands possessively on Cordelia’s back. “Angel, no, you can’t go yet.”

Angel paused to look over his shoulder. “We are.”

“Angel, you can’t.” Wesley waved Lorne over.

“You beckoned so sweetly.” Lorne appeared at Wesley’s side.

“Angel needs to get up there,” Wesley pointed to the stage.

“Love bug, you know I’d do anything for the boss of Angel’s Investigation without question, except that. I need a really good reason to subject my paying customers to the big guys particular renditions.”

“Angel says that a spell was done while he was away, one that made his soul permanent. We need to know.”

Lorne’s red eyes widened as he took in Cordelia’s swollen lips and the vampire’s impatience fidgeting, “Amore is always a good reason.”

“Wait.” Cordelia called.

“Cordy, we need to have Lorne read Angel.”

“I’m not arguing, I’m just offering the option of him doing it here- you know without a microphone.”

Wesley nodded. “I see your point no reason to for everyone to have to hear Angel.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I do.” Lorne shivered, “but, hey, for love, I’m all ears. Pick a tune Angel cakes.”

Angel glared at all of them. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“It was pretty bad. Come on, Angel. Wesley’s right, we should have your new soul status verified before…unless you aren’t concerned because you don’t think I can give you a moment of pure contentment.” She cocked a brow.

“Rain drops keeping falling on my head but that doesn’t mean my eyes will still be turning red, cryings not for me…” Angel began to immediately sing.

“Enough,” Lorne held up his hand. “Okie dokie and all a go on the love front. Soul secure, looking pretty happy, right now.”

“See ya later, much later.” Angel pulled Cordelia with him. He stopped.

“What?” Cordelia asked.

“Second thought lets go out the back. Wes, will tell them we’ve gone, no reason to stop and waste time with goodnights.”

***

“Where’s Angel and Cordy?” Fred asked.

Wesley sat down tossing Angel’s wallet on the table. “They decided to make it an early night. Angel said to stay and enjoy.”

“She didn’t stake him.” Gunn raised his brows.

“They seemed to have made up.” Wesley poured himself a drink.

“Angel’s gone, he can’t go he said we could have sex.” Gabriel looked around for the dark vampire.

“I’m sorry, Gabby, but he has.”

“But…” tears pooled in her large blue eyes.

“Oh, shut up, would you.” Fred shook her head. “Angel doesn’t want to have sex with you, he loves Cordy and she loves him. Geez, if anybody is having sex, they are.”

Gunn coughed. “Are we sure about this spell?”

“All confirmed.” Lorne held up a glass.

Gunn shook his head. “Well, they’ll be busy for awhile. I want more food, who wants more food.” Gunn picked up Angel’s wallet. “It’s on the vamp.”

“Duncan?” Methos leaned over to his friend.

“The vampire was smarter than I thought.” A slight sad smile appeared on the handsome Immortal’s face. “It would’ve been nice, hell, it was nice.”

“It’s not really over, Mac. Cordelia considers you family and from what I’ve gathered from them,” he nodded to the Wesley, Gunn, Fred and Lorne, “that means a helluva lot and something very much to value.”

“Family,” Duncan gave a soft chuckle. “It’s been awhile since I’ve had a one.”

“You’re thinking of Tess and Ritchie aren’t you?”

Duncan’s eyes clouded over. “I miss her still,” thinking about the mortal lover he had cherished with all his heart. The beautiful woman who died in the same burst of bullets that brought Ritchie his first death. Two people he had loved, two more that had died while he still lived. God it could be tiring.

Methos patted Duncan’s shoulder. “Life is series of missed loved ones. But you can’t let that stop you from living. Remember what Cordelia taught you- you love life pitfalls and all.”

“That I do, but the pitfalls- they really suck some times.” Duncan gave a wry grin.


Part 42

“Maybe we should’ve stayed to at least say goodbye. It’s kind of rude, just leaving like that.” Cordelia fidgeted nervously in her seat.

“I left them my wallet.”

“Right.” Angel freely left his wallet, that was a bizarre thing, but no more bizarre than everything else that happened. She still was having a hard time believing it. Angel loved her. She loved him. It had been a lot easier to believe when she was in his arms. Then it felt so right. Now it just felt kind of weird and awkward. She sighed.

“Cordy?”

Cordelia’s gaze jerked towards his concerned one.

“Cordy, what is it?” Angel’s concern was turning quickly into real worry. Cordelia had said that she loved him but could she have changed her mind, had she realized how very little he had to offer her.

Cordelia gave a shaky smile, biting her lips. This was stupid. She shook her head. No more nervous awkwardness. Cordelia quickly scooted over closing the distance between her and Angel. Her hands going under the leather flaps of his coat, gripping around his waist, bringing her lips up to his neck.

“You did say you loved me, right,” she whispered in between kisses.

The car served as Angel’s right arm shot around Cordelia’s waist pulling her body even closer. “Yes,” he tucked her knees into his lap molding her even more tightly against him. Relief poured into his body and mind. Cordelia hadn’t changed her mind. Was it possible that the touch of Cordelia’s hands, her moist breathy kisses, her love could make his heart beat.

Because something was happening to him- his body tingled with more than desire but an electricity that gave impressions of life. Wishful thinking, he knew, he wasn’t alive, but it felt like it. His every sense was wrapped up in the woman huddled at his side, her ever sign of life became his. Cordelia was his life and his reason. God he loved her. Angel needed to be buried inside her warmth to extend the feeling make it last forever.

“You did say that your soul was permanent.” She licked up to the skin under his ear, lapping the fleshy tissue of his lope before trailing back down with her teeth.

“Cordy,” Angel growled jerking at the steering wheel.

“You didn’t?” she leaned her chin on his shoulder staring at him with changing hazel eyes. The dark couldn’t hide the flickers of gold and brown that graced her eyes from Angel’s.

“Cordy,” Angel growled as Cordelia started to nip again at his neck.

“Mmm.”

“You’re making it very difficult to drive.”

Cordelia scooted closer, her fingers plucking at the buttons of his shirt. “I was hoping to encourage you to be Mr. Speed Racer again. Just don’t get us killed or arrested.” She giggled into his shoulder.

“I’m already dead and you’re hard to kill.”

“Yeh, but think of all that time wasted.” She purred into his ear, her knee moving to straddle the vampire.

“Now, we could be killed.” Angel moaned as the heat of Cordy’s center seeped through the leather of her pants to scorch his body. He winced as he moved her off his lap. “Two minutes we’ll be home, three minutes we’ll be naked in bed. Patience.”

“Patience. This from the vampire that courted me by trying to kill my friend, make me jealous and then ravish me in an alley. Hmmph. Couldn’t wait for the flowers and poetry to take effect, uh” She slid to the passenger side, leaning up against the door. “It better be three minutes or I just might decide to get angry.”

Angel shot his hand out pulling Cordy back against him pressing the gas urging the vehicle to go faster. “It worked.” He risked taking his eyes off the road to nuzzle into her cheek.

“Kissing, puppy dog look, you think you got it all figured out, don’t you.” She cuddled further into his chest.

“You have two minutes left to be angry, you sure you want to waste them kissing me.”

“They’re angry kisses.” She whispered nipping and tonguing his jaw line. “Are we there yet?”

***

Cordelia laughed. Angel had been serious. Less than two minutes later she was naked on his bed.

She really didn’t remember the disrobing; it started as soon as they reached the front door. Her coat was somewhere; she hoped it and her sword actually made it inside. She knew her shoes and pants ended up on the stairs with Angel’s coat and shirt. Her own shirt lasted until the hallway. Her lacy bra and underwear were somewhere on the floor by the bed.

Angel smiled, working the belt and zipper quickly. His boots were kicked off as the pants and boxers fell to the floor, his eyes never leaving the sprawled beauty on his bed. Finally. He felt like he had been waiting forever for this moment.

He had dreamt of her lying in his bed, covering him with her long gorgeous limbs even as far back as when Doyle was alive. Then he just shoved them off as sexual dreams of a beautiful woman that he had daily contact with. His dream state was still occupied by the slim form of Buffy. The dreams of Cordelia were the exception not the rule.

Then days, months, years past with friendship, danger, fear and growing need. The dreams had become full fledged fantasizes, taking over most of his sleeping hours. The only break when Darla had shown up. What a waste of a good night sleep and fantasy hours that had been. Angel still cringed at how close he had come to losing everything of value. Angel should have realized sooner what those dreams of Cordelia heralded. His subconscious knowing of what his mind kept denying.

But Angel couldn’t be upset about the wait. The knowledge that Cordelia loved him, somehow, against the possible, it made the wait worth everything and the anticipation enough to kill.

Angel kneeled on the bed, his body sliding towards Cordelia’s smile. His gaze fixed on her eyes. So damn beautiful, so damn his. Nothing, no one would ever take her away from him.

“Angel?” Her laugher dying at the intensity of his stare.

“I don’t know where to start.”

“Insert A into slot B, is always good.”

Angel laughed moving closer, settling on his elbow to study the woman. His hand flickered out to touch the expansive golden skin before him. “Oh, Cordy that’s cheating.” He teased up to the underside of her breast, marveling in the feel of the weight playing against his fingertips. So smooth. So beckoning, but then so was the slight swell of her belly, strong muscles hidden over sweet flesh, his hand moved to test his theory.

He breathed in, tasting the air for her scent as he confirmed the firmness under the delicate skin that his fingers could pluck and caress. Angel really didn’t know where to start, every part of her was enticing, her breast, her stomach, the indention of her waist, bringing the line of sight to the swell of her hips, the sweetness of the dark curls hiding the source of her heat, the curve of her thigh, the slope of the calf, the ankles, god, Cordelia even had gorgeous feet. Angel wasn’t even going too look at her face or delve into the thick fragrance that cried for him to take her completely. If he started in either place he was gone before he even started.

“Cheating?” Cordelia gasped.

“Cheating, going straight to the finish line without covering all the bases.”

“Bases?” Cordelia giggled. “God, you sound like Xander.”

Angel growled sitting up. “That was low. In the future never mention that moron’s name when you are naked. Better yet, just don’t ever mention him.”

Cordelia scooted up. “Pfft.” Cordy waved away his warning. “ He was all for the baseball analogy. Cordy let’s go to second base, how about third. Aw, strike out.”

“Second base? Third?”

“Geez, first base.” Cordelia demonstrated by kissing the vampire deeply, rolling her tongue in his mouth and along his lips. “ Second base, we kind of skipped as we’re naked, third, well, I’m willing to skip that and go straight for the home run.” She wiggled her hips closer to Angel’s.

“This third base, home run you did with Xander? Did you love him?”

Cordelia considered the question seriously. She thought she had. But had she? What she thought was love wasn’t anything like she was feeling now, like her life was somehow wrapped and intertwined with Angel, making her hurt when he hurt, sad when he was sad, smile when he smiled, begging to be the one to cause that smile, the need to feel him over her in her, possessing her, making her feel safe and loved with every caress and look.

Cordelia licked at her lips. “Maybe, but that’s not really fair, Angel. I’ve never questioned your love for Buffy, I’ve never belittled what she was too you. I bitched and complained but I never questioned that your feelings were real. Don’t do that to me.”

Angel reached out cupping her chin. “I love you, Cordy.”

“I know.” She smiled sadly.

“You don’t believe me.”

“I do. I…” Cordelia took a deep breath. “Weren’t we supposed to be making love about now?”

“Cordy, talk to me.”

Cordelia brought her knees to her chest, encircling them with her arms. “I’d rather be making love.” She said into her knees.

“Cordy,” Angel lifted her face, wondering what had turned the sensual, teasing woman into a frightened little girl.

“Hmmph,” Cordelia blew out a long resigned breath. “It’s nothing Angel, I just know that this wouldn’t be happening if Buffy were still alive. But, I’m okay with that, I love you.”

Angel leaned back. “I’m not okay with that. I love you Cordelia. YOU. This has been a long time in happening. I will freely admit that I loved Buffy, that her death was a harsh blow…”

“Angel,” Cordelia lifted her hand to his clenched jaw. “I know. I don’t expect you to deny that, you can’t. I know that.”

“No, Cordy, you don’t know. I LOVED Buffy, I mourned her death and the dream of something that was never to be, but even before she was died, I was thinking of her in my past, she was my past, when I thought of home, my future, I thought of you, not her. I loved her. If she was alive, I would still love her, but I wouldn’t need her like I need you, love her like I love you, you have become my life, my hope, my future, you are my best friend, not Buffy. If she showed up alive tomorrow, I would be happy, but it wouldn’t change anything, I love you.”

Angel brushed at the tears squeezing out of Cordy’s eyes. “Cordy, this isn’t a rebound love or a comfort love, this…what I feel for you is real and all encompassing, I want…need you in my life always. And now, for us always can be a very long time and I want you there beside me, guiding me, loving me, giving me hope. Forever, Cordy, if you want.”

“Oh, I want.” Cordelia smiled as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

“Explore later, I need to be inside you now.” Angel whispered covering Cordelia’s body, kissing at the tear tracks along her cheek.

Cordelia leaned into the vampire, pulling him closer, adjusting her hips and thighs in an instinctual welcoming dance. Her hips rose from the bed as Angel’s hand brought her ass off the bed, bringing her closer.

Cordelia gasped, sighed, and keened as Angel filled her completely. Cordy’s long legs wrapped around the vampire’s waist urging for something more.

Angel growled as the heat encompassed him, the tightness was velvety smooth, the muscles clasping him in a soft perfect glove. It was so right. He almost didn’t want to move, just wanting to soak in the heat surrounding him, living through the beating heart against his chest and the gasping breaths against his cool skin. Some primeval instinct recognized that this is what it felt like to be alive.

“Angel.” Cordelia bit into his shoulder, her hips starting to jerk.

Oh god, the friction, this was truly life, the heat moving underneath him, teasing, welcoming, demanding, accepting. He stroked within the satin prison, wanting to stay forever but need caused him to move, to leave, to push, to only touch at the heaven, only to press back in making the glimpse of heaven the all more needed and desired. He wanted it all.

Cordelia’s fingernails scratched down the cool planes of Angel’s strong back, reveling in the twitch of muscle under each trail. She squeezed and pushed wanting needing more. “Angel.” She sucked and whispered into his neck.

The vampire growled, his hands, his fingers manipulating the small of her back lifting her off the bed as his thrusts became stronger, more frantic.

Cordelia’s mouth continued its advances on every piece of flesh she could taste.

“Cor.” Angel leaned up on his elbows.

Cordelia’s desire laden eyes blinked on the vampire. She struggled to squirm to do anything to get the movement back.

“Look at me.” Angel demanded.

Cordelia blinked again trying to focus.

“I love you only you, remember, know it, forever.” He demanded pushing his hips to move ramming his body further into Cordy’s, possessing her, forcing her to accept him deep inside. “Mine.” He growled driving in again.

Cordelia clutched at his broad shoulders, cognizant of the dryness against her sweaty fingers, but his skin was hot as if Angel had soaked up every part of her. She wanted to bring him closer, she wanted to break the unbearable tension in her nerves. Her womb was about to explode along with every part of her. She dug her nails into Angel’s skin trying to fight the devastation of her being, trying to keep her consciousness, trying to reach where she wanted to be, where she wanted Angel to be. Her hips moved faster, her channel tightening, her breath labored, her whimpers pressed against the flesh above her.

Angel’s kisses were feverish, tasting every inch of Cordelia’s face and neck, finally latching on the her lips. Sucking in her breath, and tasting her moans. Cordelia shouted out a silent scream as her body stilled the dam bursting flooding her with a high pleasure, it almost hurt in its intensity. Her body shuddered as her inner muscles clasped in a frantic rhythm, squeezing at Angel.

Angel growled slamming his hips into the velvet shuddering vice, he pushed deeper, his seed bursting in release. His body kept moving until there was nothing left to give except kisses. Angel rolled over taking Cordelia with him, his hands trailing gently up and down her spine, soothing the tremors that still flickered under her skin. Cordelia flopped down on his hard body, draping her tired arms and legs along his sides. “I love you.” She whispered into his neck. “I’m sleepy.” She yawned, kissing at his neck.

“I love you,” he brought his chin down against her hair. “And sleep.” He kissed the crown of her head gently.

Chapter 43

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