Part 14
Giles eyebrows rose high at the sight of a pained Angel clutching his lower back with one hand and using the other to gently lower himself down onto the sofa. “Dare I ask?” Perhaps Cordelia was doing better in training than she thought.
“Horse riding wasn’t included with the vampire healing package.”
Oh. The Englishman didn’t bother to hide his smirk. Angel suffering in anyway just filled him with a certain type of joy. “Cordelia seems to quite alright.”
Of course Cordelia would be quite alright. When was she not quite alright? God, it sickened Angel to his stomach. Damn women. “Riding is like an extension of her life force.” The sentence was cut off by a wince when his back muscle twitched. “Where is she?”
“She is the cat’s mother and to answer your question, I’m in the kitchen.”
“Yes,” the watcher looked on in resignation. “She’s baking.”
“Blueberry muffins and a meat pie. Just a little something to say thank you for everything Rupert has done for me. Cool hands are great pastry makers.”
Angel’s expression was a far cry from the one on Giles’ face. Under the mild panic caused by a vampire baking, was a very slight shimmer of affection and it worried him. His aching body suddenly faded to nothing as he watched the man adjust his glasses and try not to glance in the direction of the kitchen. Suspicious circumstances indeed.
“There really is no need.” Giles said.
“Sure there is,” the vampiress appeared in the blink of an eye. “You bring me supper?”
Angel held out the requested blood packets which disappeared in the matter of seconds. He watched in awe as she vamped out, tore into a pouch, drank it, and then repeated with the next one. That was one hungry vampire.
A crisp white handkerchief was slipped out of her pocket and she daintily dabbed at the corners of her mouth. “Sorry about the table manners, but being around humans all day gives me the munchies. I’m sure you can understand.”
Oh yeah, he understood.
“I gotta say Angel, I don’t know how you do it. You’re a braver vampire than I, my friend. If Rupert hadn’t been so nice to me, I would’ve had a traditional English like that.” She snapped her fingers, then looked at the watcher with a cheeky grin which had Angel’s suspicions increasing. “It’s a compliment.”
Giles didn’t appear to believe her, but graciously didn’t say it aloud. “I’ll take it as it was meant.”
“No Cordelia tonight?” She asked. “I baked plenty and it seems such a shame she isn’t here.”
“That’s because she’s out with Xander tonight.” The arrival of Buffy came with the sound of an opening and closing door.
Cordelia rolled her eyes when the blonde turned to Angel and sniffed. “Hey.”
He nodded once, but said nothing.
“What a swell relationship you have. Honestly, it leaves one speechless.”
Buffy glared at the sarcastic brunette with a sneer. “You still here?”
“No. I’m a figment of your over active imagination.”
The slayer wasn’t to be outdone. “Oh, that’s right. You can’t go home unless someone comes to get you. Guess you’ll be here a while.”
“Buffy, that was uncalled for.” Giles chastised.
“No, no.” Cordelia raised a hand encased in an oven glove. “Let her speak.”
“You really think Angelus will come for you?” Blonde strands flew around her face as she shook her head in pity. The vampiress was obviously living in La La Land if she thought that was going to happen. Angelus didn’t care about anybody or anything but himself. He was a monster who turned something beautiful into something so ugly, the nightmares plagued her still.
“I know he will and I can’t wait for you to meet him.” So what if it sounded like my boyfriend will kick your ass, but what the hell. She was so gonna have front row seats for that little showdown.
There was a sickening smirk on Buffy’s face which told the men in the room what she planned on saying. “I already have.”
Golden orbs flashed with more than simple interest, but she didn’t get a chance to reply. “Yes, and we all remember how that turned out.” Giles spoke in a tone which left the air chilled. No-one in the room, bar the vampiress, wanted to relive last year.
Unfortunately for all concerned, it seemed there was one person in the room who wanted to tell the tale. “You think he loves you, will come to take you home so you can live happily ever after?”
“Happily ever after?” Cordelia nigh on choked on her own vomit. “I shudder to think.”
Buffy ground her teeth as frustration slowly gave way to anger. A human Cordelia was bad enough, but the vampiress? God, she just wanted to drive Mr. Pointy straight into the dead bitch’s heart and dance in the ashes. “You’ll be waiting a long, long time because he won’t come. He doesn’t care about you and he certainly doesn’t love you. Monsters can’t love.”
At this, the vampiress looked directly at a silent Angel, her gaze unreadable. What she saw didn’t sit well with her at all. He appeared placid, almost calm, as he sat and listened while the slayer belittled him in public. “Nothing to say, Angelus?”
“That’s Angel,” Buffy snapped. “Not Angelus.”
“And the difference is…?” Obviously, the difference was Angelus had balls enough to speak up for himself.
“Angel has a soul. He’s not a monster. A killer.”
Whoa. “A soul?” Cordelia’s eyes grew wide. “As in a human soul? You’ve gotta be shitting me! That’s why you smell funny.”
Angel suddenly found himself subjected to an intensive study by a curious cat. She looked him over, from hairline right down to his shoes, and back up again. Her face was so close to his, he could see the exact shape of the beauty mark on her cheek. A finger poked his shoulder once, then again, and again.
He then allowed himself to be dragged off the couch and stood stock still while she walked round him. She touched first the back of his neck and his shoulder blades, and finally walked round to face him where she stared intensely at his eyes. She saw emotion in them, but not the kind of emotion she was used to in a vampire. Hunger, anger, sadness, agony. They were all right there for her to see.
Despite the thick atmosphere, Giles couldn’t help but find the sight of a vampiric science project amusing. He watched as Angel sat there cooler than ice as the brunette peered into his ears, poked and prodded each shoulder, sniffed and finally pinched his skin, eliciting a shocked yelp.
Cordelia then turned to the Englishman with a single, complicated question that would lead to more of the same. “How?”
“Killed a Gypsy girl,” Angel’s voice was low, husky from a bloody memory that haunted. Though his words for her, his eyes were entirely focused on Buffy. “Got cursed for my trouble.”
“How could a soul be a curse? You get to experience everything…” The vampiress paused as it sank in. “Oh. Bummer. My Angelus killed a Gypsy girl and never got cursed. How come you did and he didn’t?”
“I don’t know.”
“You didn’t kill that girl. Angelus did.” The conversation wasn’t what Buffy wanted to hear, or Giles. “You’re not Angelus.”
Cordelia really didn’t agree. “You know what they say. If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it is a duck. A soul doesn’t make him different. It makes him… Unique. He’s still a vampire, he’s merely adapted to being a vampire with a soul stuffed in there.”
A ping from the kitchen thankfully interrupted her and it wasn’t just Angel who heard it with relief. “I’ll be back in a jiffy.”
“Take your time.” Buffy muttered, then cleared her throat. “I’m gonna go. You know, patrol. I’ll check when I’m done.”
“Want some help?” Angel asked, knowing full well what her answer would be. Every time his past came up, she ran or ignored it or pretended he’d had no existance until he met her.
“I got this one. Later Giles.” And she was gone before anything else could be said. She needed to think, something which could only be done if he wasn’t there.
A few moments went by when the only sounds in the room were a ticking clock and a beating heart. A few more moments passed and those noises were drowned out by a familiar voice spouting out a familiar form of sarcasm which came accompanied with the delicious scent of warm, fresh blueberry muffins.
“Guess she doesn’t want a muffin.” Cordelia sighed and shook her head mockingly. “And I slaved over a hot stove to make these. Shameful, really shameful.”
Never had Angel endured so surreal a moment as he did right then. Giles seemed to be frozen to the spot, a dead Cordelia held a tray of muffins looking way too much like a housewife from the fifties, while his ex girlfriend had just given herself all the space she wanted. He needed to kill something. Something big and nasty, and he had to kill it fast.
“I’m gonna…” He stood and received a brief nod from the watcher.
“You going out? Can I come? Great! Let me put these in the kitchen and I’ll be ready to go.” She disappeared, only to reappear in less than a second.
“Can you give us a minute?” Angel gestured for the vampiress to wait for him outside.
A single eyebrow rose. “You do know I’m gonna hear every word, right?” He stared at her. “Alright, fine. I’ll wait on the street. You make it look like I’m a professional eavesdropper. Sheesh.”
Neither man paid her leaving much mind, instead both met the other’s gaze without a bat of an eye. It was strange how things could get so tense so quickly.
“She baked.” Angel commented, careful to keep any accusations out of his tone.
The watcher didn’t flinch one bit. “I didn’t ask her to.”
“Maybe not. Be careful, Giles.” Don’t get too attached.
****
Was walking around, doing nothing, Angel’s way of working off some aggression? If yes, then damn it was boring. So unbelieveably boring she’d rather watch paint dry on a wet day. When Angelus was tense, he usually gave Spike a hiding or three. Or if Spike was nowhere in sight, he would go smack down on a few enemies.
“Okay, that is it.” Cordelia huffed, having walked around forever. She left Angel to carry on and jumped up onto a tombstone to give her aching feet a well earned rest. “You like hiking so much, join a club.”
He paused long enough to shoot an annoyed glare over his shoulder. “You didn’t have to come.”
Duh hur hur. “I know that. Geez. I only offered to keep you company as a favour. The usual thing after that is for you to say thank you, Cordelia. Not complain about my taking a break.”
“You didn’t have to keep me company.” In all honesty, he was in no mood to entertain someone who made Santa Claus seem miserable. She was far too chirpy for someone who was told she may not see her family and lover again.
“I repeat. I know, but I wasn’t gonna let you get sucked into the black pit of despair. What the slayer said was awful. If that’s how she treats her boyfriends, I’d hate to see how she treats her enemies. It’s not really my place to say or judge, but it doesn’t seem like an ideal start to a beautiful music.” She snorted out a laugh. “I don’t understand why you put up with it. My Angelus doesn’t take any of my crap and boy, can I dish it out sometimes.”
Angel looked skyward and shook his head, figuring she wouldn’t shut up about it until he told her.
“My soul,” he started. “I lost it last year…”
“You lost it? Did you put it in a safe place and forget where the safe place was?”
That brought a tiny smile to his face. “My soul comes with a curse. I get happy, I lose it and turn evil.”
Evil was such an ugly word. “Define evil.” And how did this evil lead to Buffy? Did Buffy take his soul? Cordelia didn’t like that too much as it meant things could get a tad problematic when it came her little plan.
“I killed a woman who tried to help me, nailed a dead puppy to Buffy’s door for Valentine’s Day, and tried to suck the world into hell.”
When the vampiress didn’t say anything, Angel turned to look at her and saw a horrified expression on her face. He never expected to see that on a vampire.
“You killed a helpless, defenseless puppy? You sick son of a bitch. Ooh,” she growled. “If you’d been my man, I’d have pulled your goolies out through your nose. That was just uncalled for. As for sucking the world into hell? You do realise what hell is, right? The place to be eternally tortured by a big red guy carrying a big red pitchfork. What kind of vampire are you?”
He had no chance to reply. “You know what? Don’t answer that. Already know. I mean, look at how you live. There’s nothing to say who you are, no family portraits, pictures, or anything to show the Aurelius legacy. Why? To make people feel all warm and fuzzy around you?”
Angel’s silence was the only answer she needed.
“And what about Spike and Dru? I’m guessing you sired them in this world. Do you even know where they are or how they’re doing?” Again there was silence. “They’re family for crying out loud. These humans you love so much aren’t gonna last forever, so what you gonna do then? Find more pets?”
She got nothing. “Fine. Play the way you feel, but you’re making a mistake disowning who you are in favour of a set of humans who judge you, who don’t accept you.”
“How’s the view from your pedastel?”
“Pretty cool. People look like ants.”
“What about you?”
Cordelia blinked at the sudden turn of conversation. “What about me?”
Angel shrugged casually. “You’re the golden childe, the one who’s so molly coddled and fawned over, she doesn’t know the meaning of independance.”
“Molly coddled?!” The vampiress fought hard to keep the grin off her face. How like Angelus to try and turn things around on her. “I’m as far from molly coddled as can be. I have to follow the rules just like everybody else.”
Yeah, sure she did. “You don’t though.”
“Maybe not, but gimme a break. I’m barely a year old. I just don’t understand how you think an empty home and being short two letters can make such a difference. It’s very confusing. So, you went evil and killed a puppy. That still doesn’t explain how happiness can take your soul.”
“That’s private.”
“There’s only a few things people need privacy for. Talking, bathing rituals, and sex. Since I’ve seen how your conversations with the slayermeister go, my guess is sex. You had sex and sex made you happy. God, you’re such a guy.”
Why did that sound like an insult? “You try living off rats for a century, see how happy you get when someone shows you a modicum of interest.”
Rats as in claws and teeth? Rats as in never more than ten feet away? He had to be kidding. No self respecting vampire would ever eat a rat. A closer look at his face told her that no, he wasn’t kidding at all. “You ate rats? Please,” the vampires fought the urge to gag. “Tell me these were special rats made for eating.”
What was it about grossing someone out that was so much fun? Angel managed to keep the grin off his face as he watched Cordelia go seven shades of green. “Nope, just your every day sewer rat. I branched out occasionally and ate a field mouse.”
“You’re disgusting. What about Cordelia?” A change of subject was needed before she tossed her cookies. The thought of eating vermin was almost enough make her drive a stake through her own heart.
“What about her?”
“You seem to be getting pretty chummy with her lately. Anything I should know about?”
“We’re friends,” Angel said firmly. “Good friends.”
“Uh-huh.” Like she believed that. “She won’t last forever either, you know.” She got no reply, only a darkening expression that simply said for her not to talk like that. Ignorance was bliss. “You should turn her. Not yet of course, but eventually.”
Still she got nothing.
“You should do what Angelus did with me.”
“Wait and let someone else have the pleasure of your eternal perspective?”
Cordelia arched an eyebrow. “Sarcasm doesn’t become you, and no. If you wait, you’ll lose out. She’s not me. I had no choice in the matter, but she does and I guarantee if you hang around hoping for a wink and a smile to come your way, she’ll be whisked off into the sunrise by a handsome young man with a bald head and a bank account to make Mr. Gates look poor.”
He wasn’t going to pretend to understand where the bald head came into it. Angel repeated himself, “We’re nothing more than good friends.”
“Come off it, Angel. You can’t tell me she doesn’t catch your eye. Don’t lie to me.”
He went back to silence.
“You offered to teach her defence because you couldn’t stand the thought of her getting hurt.”
“I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.” Or worse.
“Yeah, you’re a real boy scout. You really think you could stand back and watch while she succumbed to old age, then finally death?”
This time it was Angel arching an eyebrow. “Scare tactics won’t work with me.”
“Not scare tactics, merely the truth. You’ll watch as she grows young woman to a lady, see the success she makes for herself, watch her meet a good man and get married. She’ll be young because you won’t let yourself see the strands of grey, the wrinkles and aging hands until it’s too late. She’ll be gasping out her last breath at home with her children and grandchildren, possibly her husband by her side, and where will you be, huh? Standing outside, eyes closed and concentrating on the ever slowing heart beat coming from inside her.”
Cordelia continued as though she never noticed the emotions beginning to flash in his eyes. “Finally, you’ll slink off into the shadows and watch her family leave one by one, and you’ll think of what you wasted all those years ago. That family, that woman, could have been yours.”
“No, it couldn’t.” Angel nigh on growled. Why was she throwing things he couldn’t have in his face? “I can’t give her the good husband and a family.” He couldn’t even give her himself.
“What makes you so sure she wants ten children and a picket fence? Maybe she wants someone who could show her the world the way it’s meant to be seen.” There was that silence again and the vampiress hid her sly smile. “You’re more Angelus than you think. You won’t give her a choice.”
