Part 6
The next evening, the young red headed hacker had gone straight from college directly to the Magic Shop to help make it safe for Cordelia’s son who would be accompanying his mom on a nightly basis. She’d had the full day to get used to the idea of her old class mate being a mommy at 22, but the news still hadn’t quite sunk in yet.
Maybe tonight, Willow wondered, she would be able to get the whole story of what had happened to make the brunette leave without a shred of notice never to be seen again. Until now that is, five years later when she turned up on the doorstep of the Magic Shop out of the blue with a son called Connor.
A son called Connor who had the inability to be in direct light of any kind, a condition very serious that no doubt took a lot of care and attention. The person she remembered Cordelia being at school either wouldn’t have been able to cope or she would’ve have ignored it in the hope it would go away.
Now though, she wasn’t so sure she had known Cordelia Chase all that well back there. She had often bore the brunt of petty envy, jealous comments and even an invisible girl who wanted revenge. All because she had been the popular one, the one that wore the best clothes, dated the college boys and the one whose parties everyone wanted to go to.
Under all the make-up, the selfish attitude and the spoilt girl, there had been someone who never refused to help them if they needed it. Yes, Cordelia complained a lot but she still helped and unlike Xander and herself, she didn’t do it because Buffy was her friend. She had helped because she wanted to, because she didn’t want people to suffer.
In the hacker’s opinion, that counted for something.
Willow had drawn a large sign in the window stating ‘Do Not Turn On Light’ in bold, underlined letters written in black marker and she’d stuck it to the glass pane of the front door. Spike was with Cordelia and Connor in the back room, it amazed her how much the vampire seemed to be taken with the five year old son of the brunette.
She wondered how he had exactly gotten so good with kids and soon realized that wasn’t something she needed or wanted to ever know.
The phone rang and the hacker hurried to answer, hoping it would be Giles to say he was on his way. Though Cordelia had asked her to keep her reappearance a secret, Willow thought Buffy, Xander and Angel had a right to know she was alive and well. After all, they had all thought she was dead and Angel had often wondered if he’d killed her when he’d lost his soul.
When Angel had offered that suggestion to them, they had instantly gone quiet and took it seriously. If he couldn’t remember killing Cordelia, then how were the rest of them supposed to know for definite? The dark haired vampire had gone over and over it in his head, trying to remember if Angelus had indeed killed the cheerleader and gotten rid of her body just to prolong their grief.
He hadn’t ever remembered doing that and so the suggestion of Angel killing Cordelia had been pushed aside.
“Hello, Magic Shop. How can I help you?” Willow asked in a very professional voice.
“It’s Giles, Willow” she breathed a sigh of relief at his voice.
“Cordelia’s here” the red head stated right away and then bombarded Giles with questions he’d evaded earlier. “How long have you known she’s been back? Has she told you who the father of Connor is yet? Have you really hired her to work for you?
“I’m calling to warn Cordelia” Giles ignored the questions, “Buffy, Xander and Angel are on their way there now. Please let her know and I’ll try to get there before they do” the phone went dead.
Willow placed the receiver back in the cradle and chewed her lower lip thoughtfully, debating on whether or not to give the warning to the young mother. Why was it always her who was put in this position? Why was it always her that was made to keep secrets?
She wasn’t good at keeping secrets, they all knew that. She got stammery, nervous and her voice would come out as a high-pitched squeak.
If she didn’t warn Cordelia then she wasn’t betraying her best friends and she was putting their fears to rest. But she would be betraying Giles and his confidence in her ability to handle this situation with a clear and level head. Willow wasn’t sure how long she’d been stood there debating with herself when familiar and angry voices were heard outside of the shop.
“Oops!” the red head muttered as dread pooled in the pit of her stomach. Opening her mouth, Willow prepared to yell as loud as she could. “Cordelia! Buffy, Xander and Angel are here!”
Spike’s gaze instantly snapped to the brunette’s horrified expression. “Bugger!” Of course, he was hoping to see the fireworks fly when his grandsire came face-to-face with the mother of his bit.
“Connor, get your cloak, gloves and mask on baby” Cordelia jumped out of her seat, nearly spilling the half filled mug of coffee on her jeans in the rush to make an escape. Glancing at the blonde vampire watching the action through an unreadable expression she asked “Is there a back door? An escape hatch?”
“Only through the tunnels, pet” Spike replied with an indifferent shrug. “Wouldn’t it be better to get this out of the bloody way? So as not to be hiding your kid like a dirty secret?”
That sentence caused the brunette to stand completely still, her hands gripped the large shoulder bag that now hung from around her neck as his words ran through her brain. He made sense, that much was true, but she couldn’t face Buffy and Angel when they were together. Add Xander to the mix and that was asking for World War 3.
“His name is Connor, not kid and he’s my son, not a dirty little secret”
Spike was about to make a retort to that when something else occurred to him; shallow breathing, erratic heart rate, shaking hands and dilating pupils. “You’re scared out of your bloody wits, love”
“Wow” Cordelia shot back, helping her son get his protective clothing back on. “It’s amazing how you can just tell by my wild state of panic and desperation to leave that I’m scared out of my wits. Of course I’m scared out of my wits you moron”
“No need for name calling” the vampire held up his hands in a show of submission, “Only telling it like I see it”
“This was a mistake” she whispered to herself as she tucked the cloak collar tightly into the crook of Connor’s neck, “Coming back here was a mistake. I should’ve stayed away. There’s nothing here” raising her voice, she looked at her son. “Come on baby, time to go home. Say goodbye to Spike”
“Bye mister Spike, are you here tomorrow? We can play cards again and I’ll even let you win” Connor promised with a little nod of his head.
“Right ‘o, mate. You’re on” the blonde glanced at the brunette to see if she would put a stop to the little arrangement. Cordelia was too busy with her thoughts to pay much attention to the interaction between her son and himself. It seemed she was too busy to notice Connor had turned towards the small flight of steps and had energetically bounded down them.
When Spike felt the presence and caught the scent of his grandsire, he knew the brunette was “Out of time, love”
***
Angel had already been on his way to the Magic Shop, he’d completed a text translation for Giles and wanted to deliver it before the usual time the others got there. No matter that he’d spent most of the last five years around the people he’d tried to destroy, he still felt uncomfortable around them.
Buffy in particular.
Though they all tried to hide their feelings, Angel could see the condemnation whenever they looked or spoke to him. The fear, the wariness hadn’t gone, just merely been pushed aside in order to appease the blonde slayer’s wants. He couldn’t live like that, forever surrounded by people who didn’t trust and feared him, despite what he’d done to cause that reaction.
He didn’t blame them for how they felt. They should blame him and not trust him but it didn’t do anything to help him, only made the memories worse.
The note plastered to the glass window in the door, had Angel intrigued and he entered the shop cautiously in case he was disturbing Willow casting a spell or something like that. He caught the scent of a child, a little boy, and tensed with the memories…. So many innocent children.
Another, more headier and recognizable scent floated through the air, making his body cease in walking. The intoxicating female scent took Angel back to a place he thought had been a dream. A dream filled with searing heat, sweat and all night love making.
Hot, lazy nights wrapped around a firm supple body that enveloped him in the most intimate way possible. Long, shapely and slender legs locked tightly around his waist, bringing him harder and closer to her body, making him hers to own. Nails scraped sharply down the broad expanse of his back while he took control of her body.
Angel remembered how his flesh sizzled when she had tasted him, slowly curling her lips around the tip of his erection before swallowing him whole and brining him to orgasm. Her tongue would swirl teasingly over the most sensitive part of him, licking up each droplet of fluidic sex and tasting him until she was satisfied or he’d taken control.
Salty perspiration made her body slick, his hand would smoothly glide down the glistening overheated flesh until he reached a place that burned hotter than hell. Lips would slide over her soft pliant mouth, his tongue would taste the salt mixing with her unique taste and he would savour it like a precious elixir.
The hollow of her delectable throat would throb with blood pressure heightened by the flow of sex that made her body an inferno. So high was the pressure, her blood would rush into his mouth without force; the rich and female spice would coat his tongue, lips and throat with the purest essence of life. Her blood was a rare delicacy; tasting of orgasm, of him and of the daylight he couldn’t be a part of.
The strong scent was almost suffocating him, reawakening those memories that threatened to tear him apart. She couldn’t be here, she had disappeared, died or worse. Angel had searched for her as Angelus, he’d searched for her after he’d escaped from hell and he’d recently hired a private detective and still got nothing.
It seemed far too impossible for Cordelia Chase to be here, now and after all this time.
“Hey mister, watch where you’re going” a young, male voice grouched up at him from the floor.
Snapping out of his reverie, Angel slowly lowered his gaze to the floor where his sights came to rest on a black, talking lump who he’d obviously knocked to the ground. Holding out his hand to the small boy, the vampire looked quizzically at the intense black cloak covering the child and then glanced at the small, gloved hand that curled round his fingers.
“Sorry” Angel mumbled as he hauled the little boy up off the floor, “Where’s your mommy and daddy?” maybe they were in here and could come get the kid away from him. It wasn’t that he didn’t like kids, just the opposite in fact.
During his heyday, he had loved them and that was the problem. The ultimate evil act, killing something so innocent and pure like a child was a sign of the devil, of pure evil. Of him.
“My mom’s up there, mister” Connor pointed a black finger towards the small flight of steps which led up to where Cordelia was with Spike.
Finally snapping out of her shock, Willow decided to give Cordelia time to get herself together and the red head dove right on in with a stalling plan. “Hey Angel!” she beamed at the dark haired vampire, “Lovely night outside, isn’t it? Th-that big, full moon a-and the pretty stars. All signs of a good night for, you know, fighting. If you’re lucky, you may even see a werewolf”
She stopped when she realized that it was a pointless exercise and if Spike had remembered who Cordelia was by her scent alone then Angel would know too.
“Lady” Connor spoke up as he glanced up at the red head with his big, brown eyes. “Werewolves only exist in the movies or in special parts of the world. Unless Sunnypale is a special place… Is it?”
“My name is Willow Rosenburg but you can call me Willow” Willow suddenly realized she hadn’t really introduced herself to Cordelia’s son and he seemed to pick up on that point. From the sounds of it, Cordelia had explained about things like werewolves and hellmouths in a way that the little boy would be able to understand. She wasn’t sure if that was a good idea or not.
On one hand, ignorance could be a blessing in the fact that a person wouldn’t know there were really monsters in the world therefore they would be able to sleep at night. On the other hand, ignorance could be a curse and could put your life in danger. The more Willow thought about it, the more she agreed with the brunette’s decision to make her son as informed as possible.
“Okay, thank you Willow” Connor stated politely, he then looked up at the tall dark haired man with the scary expression. A questioning look crossed the five year old’s face as he stared unknowingly into his father’s eyes. “My name is Connor Chase but you can call me Connor. Did Willow call you an angel?”
Angel missed the boy introducing himself, he was too lost in the penetrating stare of darkening brown eyes that scanned his face from behind the face mask. There was a strong urge to take off the heavy cloak and mask just to see what he looked like. Connor’s words began to echo in his ears… Connor Chase… Connor… Chase.
Cordelia’s scent was almost suffocating Connor, her scent was all over the little boy, as was his own.
Willow’s voice grew distant until Angel was surrounded by deafening silence; the room seemed to spin as time unexplainably stopped. The translation the vampire held was dropped from a lax grip and fell to the floor; he stumbled back a few steps putting distance between Connor and himself.
No.
This wasn’t right. There had to be some mistake.
“Connor are you ready to go, baby?” Cordelia emerged at the top of the steps with Spike right besides her. The brunette’s voice drifted off when she saw Angel seeing his son for the first time since he was born. Her heart began to pound so hard it hurt, lungs ceased to take in oxygen and her body began to shake uncontrollably. “Angelus…?”
At the name of his soulless counterpart, Angel snapped his gaze from the little boy to the beautiful young woman watching in terror as he faced off with his son. Her hair had been cut to shoulder length, the chestnut tresses he had threaded his fingers through were now a stunning mass of loose curls. Bright, gleaming hazel orbs he had never forgotten were wide and her mouth was parted in shock.
“Cordelia?” Angel whispered; his chest began to rise and fall as he deeply inhaled the air as much as he could; driving the intoxicating scent to a place that would it forever. His hands itched to touch her again while his lips tingled with the promise of a taste, his body felt suddenly cold as it remembered the loss of female heat and every inch of him screamed to grab her and hold her close.
Spike couldn’t hold back the smirk as he watched the myriad of emotion that fluctuated across the faces of both the cheerleader and his grandsire. Looked like Peaches wasn’t as dense as he often appeared; the blonde thought in amusement.
He didn’t think he’d seen Angel this pale or this close to fainting in his existence; offhandedly Spike reminded himself to tell his Faith about this.
Willow was known for her brains and the ability to fit pieces of puzzles into the correct places so everything made sense. Now she was face-to-face with the undeniable truth of who exactly Connor Chase reminded her of, she wasn’t willing to be the one to fit this puzzle into place.
It was the confirming question from Angel that she chose to blank out completely and deny all knowledge of it all.
“H-he’s mine. Isn’t he?” Angel’s blank, expressionless gaze never left the young mother as he awaited her response. He didn’t need the ‘yes’ from her, the vampire already knew he was the little boy’s father, or his demon was the little boy’s father.
“Not here and not now” Cordelia barked, jogging down the steps to scoop the five year old up into her arms with a little effort, “Not ready yet.” Just as she scrambled for the door handle to leave before anything else was admitted, Buffy opened it from the outside with Xander right behind her.
Hazel orbs locked with the surprised blue eyes of Buffy Summers and then with the equally stunned green eyes of Xander Harris. Before either the slayer or young man could say a word, Cordelia pushed past them and ran for her car, fully intending on making an escape.
***
Since Connor had gone, Willow had taken it upon herself to turn on the lights so they weren’t sitting in the dark. When she did so, the red head wished she’d left them off, it might have kept the awful atmosphere hidden and unseen.
There was a thick, very intense atmosphere inside the Magic Shop as all struggled to assimilate the fact Cordelia Chase was very much alive, well and not alone. Buffy was biting her thumb nail while she paced back and forth in front of the counter, Xander sat hunched in a chair with his head in his hands and Angel was staring at the door, willing the brunette to come back.
With the emotions in the room being so volatile, the red head figured the safest place to be was next to the only unbiased, unaffected person in the room. So Willow found herself stood as close to Spike as humanly possible without actually clinging to him. Her green eyes flitted from person to person to vampire in the hope one of them would speak.
Spike was clearly enjoying the whole thing since the only thing the cheerleader had been to him was Angelus’ bit on the side before she’d done a runner. The blonde had initially thought his grandsire had killed the bint but when he had thrown the vampire equivalent of a hissy fit, Spike knew the brunette had merely disappeared.
He figured she’d left to get away from being Angelus’ obsession, he would never have believed that it because she was baking his bun. Hell, if he was baking Angelus’ bun, he wouldn’t stop at running away, he’d happily laugh while shoving the stake into his heart.
After more of the eternal thick silence, the blonde vampire had just about reached the end of this tether. They all wanted to launch into the subject of Cordelia Chase and see how many names, ways and insults they could use for her behavior all them years ago. Xander and Willow were obviously waiting for their leader to start the furious yelling off so they could join in and get their frustrations out.
The younger vampire wondered if Angel would defend the mother of his kid or if he was still in shock, disbelief and denial. “Bugger this” Spike muttered, suddenly finding himself under stares of lead accusing him of being the one to break the silent spell.
“If you lot want to wallow in the cheerleader’s dramatic return, be my sodding guests” Spike invited with a carefree shrug. “I, on the other hand, have a hot woman warming me bed up and while I got bugger all done today, I’ve been suitably entertained…” he knew just a little push would get them all going.
Ignoring the vampire, Buffy turned cold blue eyes to her best friend, Willow demanding “How long have you known Cordelia was back?”
The red head squeaked under her breath and moved closer to Spike who glared at her for indirectly bringing him into this. “I-I didn’t know as such, Buffy. It wasn’t u-until Giles asked if I would watch the store until the new girl arrived” that was the truth. “A-and when Cordelia did arrive she had C-Connor, her son, with her”
Xander raised tired and pained green eyes to his longest, dearest and most trusted friend. “Yesterday was when Giles asked you to watch the store” he pointed out in a gravelly voice. “Why didn’t you call to let us know as soon as you found out?” his voice was dull apart from the hint of hurt that sparked in his irises.
“Giles called here first Xander, telling me you, A-Angel and Buffy were coming here” Willow felt her shoulder make contact with the vampire next to her. Normally she wouldn’t willingly be this close to Spike but the glares she was getting made her wary. “Besides, I was in shock”
When the blonde slayer’s gaze next locked onto Spike, the vampire couldn’t hold back the whine-like groan at the realization he too was going to be interrogated about the brunette. He damned the red head next to him and silently demanded why she chose to stand close to him thus putting him in the line of fire. “Don’t ask me slayer, ‘cus I don’t bloody know the girl”
Those words had Buffy closing her mouth as soon as she’d opened it. Resuming her pacing and nail biting as another wall of silence descended on the occupants of the room. Angel was still staring at the door to the Magic Shop, Xander was once again covering his face and Willow’s face was blank.
It finally occurred to Spike that the only way he was going to dig up the dirt, he was going to need to push the right buttons to get the big scoop.
“Cheerleader’s kiddy is a handsome little devil, ain’t he?” Spike directed that directly to Angel who’s attention went from the door to the blonde. “Going to grow up into a tall, dark strap of a chappy methinks” he didn’t get any response so he went in another direction. “Wonder who ‘Daddy’ is…” sapphire orbs went instantly to Xander Harris who felt the piercing stare and returned the blonde vampire’s look.
Angel knew exactly what his grandchilde was up to and he refused to rise to the bait. He easily ignored the first statement made by Spike, only responding with a singular glower. But the last statement of Connor Chase’s paternal heritage coming from Xander Harris was enough to mark the start of demonic belligerence bubbling up inside.
He was Connor’s father, not Xander and not anyone else. Him. Angel. Angelus.
It was all he could do to not yell out he was partly responsible for the little boy’s birth. However, this was certainly not the time or the place to make a confession like that. At least it wouldn’t be the time until he officially told Buffy he didn’t want another re-run of their get back together and then break up relationship.
He didn’t want a relationship unless it was with the mother of his son.
Raising his hands as a flash of defense made his green eyes bright, Xander was quick to deny he had any part in the conception of Cordelia Chase’s young son. “Whoa there Deadboy Junior” he breathed out seriously, “You’re barking up the wrong tree here. Cordelia and I never got past a quick grope and kiss in closets”
“It’s alright, Xander” Buffy took it upon herself to calm her best male friend down with a comforting voice, warm blue gaze and soft smile. “Spike’s only trying to get to you. Ignore him” she shot a warning glance to the vampire in question, gracing him with a disgusted expression when he smirked winningly. “We know you wouldn’t have done anything so stupid like have unprotected sex with anyone, much less Cordelia Chase”
The young man shook his head and returned his face to the calm serenity of his palms. He didn’t want to think of who could be the father of Cordelia’s son. It would only make him wonder who she had cheated on him with. Though technically, Xander hadn’t been cheated on as the brunette had broke things off between them roughly a month and a half before her disappearance.
What caused the brunette to run like that? Thinking about the child Cordelia had with her, he could pretty much assume what caused her to run.
Xander Harris prided himself on being a good judge of character where Cordelia Chase had been concerned. He’d seen her away from her parents, away from her friends and he’d seen the woman that was hidden by an image. Out of the controlling barriers of her lifestyle, he’d gotten to know a young woman with a solid heart who would never back down from anything in her life.
If being slayer had been about willpower and inner strength, Xander knew that without a doubt Cordelia would go down in history as the strongest one of them all. He had often wished she had let more people see her for who she really was and not who she had been raised to be. Maybe then she would have found what she was looking for.
“I don’t care one way or the other about the kid” Buffy stated firmly, “He isn’t my concern, what is my concern is the reason why she chose to come back after all this time” she looked around the room, only seeing the expressions she wanted too see. “The way I see things is Cordelia left five years ago without having the decency to tell us what she was doing. Now, she thinks she can just waltz back into town pretending nothing happened? Not in my world”
“Steady on there Stalin” Spike chortled at the blonde’s words, “The good ol’ US of A is a free country right?” off the slayer’s blank look he continued to make his point. “Way I see it is the chit has a right to come back to her old haunts, ain’t down to you who can live ‘ere an who can’t” Faith would be proud of him. He made a mental note to tell her about this, he was bound to get lucky.
Buffy glared at the vampire for a second, “It’s a good thing I didn’t ask for how you saw it”
Angel was instantly suspicious as to why Spike was coming to the defense of a girl he’d barely had any contact with. After the initial introduction he had conducted, Angelus had kept the vampire as far away from Cordelia as he possibly could. He’d even gone so far as to move onto one of the highest floors in the mansion, only permitting the brunette to wander around when he was with her
Luckily, Cordelia had understood that not all vampires were like him in the sense that they respected another’s claim and so she had abided by his wishes, trusted him to keep her safe. What had taken Buffy Summers almost a full year and Darla, his sire, a century and a half, Cordelia accomplished in less than a month.
Four little weeks and Angelus discovered that the fiery yet submissive brunette was his equal.
Knowing he was soulless and still she allowed him access to any part of her he wanted. Blood, body, mind and soul; everything who and what made Cordelia Chase special was examined and memorized by Angelus.
Away from the others, away from who they really were; Angelus and Cordelia Chase lived out a life most people would never have. Behind closed doors, when it was just him and her, where the only things between them were clothes.
A private place where what could and did destroy it was a cold, harsh shot of reality. One day, Angelus had looked into the hazel eyes which melted in the heat of orgasm only to see the irises sparkling like amber jewels. The street lamp high-lighted the unshed tears on the dark lashes as Cordelia looked up at him in despair.
The soulless vampire hadn’t been able to apologize for doing something he wasn’t sorry for and so, in that final crushing moment, Angelus placed a bittersweet kiss on her lips and allowed the brunette to walk away. A short, sharp sting of hurt tore through him as the black diamond-hard gaze silently begged Cordelia to turn around and come back.
He had never regretted a single second or action except for not calling her back. Instead, he had willingly succumbed to numbing rage, turned every bit of it towards Buffy and tried to suck the world into hell.
Now, Angel needed to find Cordelia, make her talk to him and make her answer all the questions that were clouding his mind from seeing sense. He wished she had never left, he wished he had never killed Jenny Calendar, the thing that drove the brunette away. He wished she had stayed with him, told him about the baby and never let him suffer with the possibility that he had killed her.
Without a second thought, Angel squared his shoulders and made for the exit that would lead him to follow in Cordelia’s footsteps a short while earlier. He had every intention of getting his answers tonight, no matter what.
“Angel?” Buffy’s hardened voice stopped him for a moment, not waiting for him to look at her the blonde carried on. “Where are you going?”
“Out” To see my son and his mother the dark haired vampire added silently as he resumed walking. An unspoken lethal warning was given out to those who were thinking of preventing him doing what he wanted. Nothing and nobody was going to get in between him, Connor and Cordelia. Not even the people he wanted forgiveness and acceptance from.
Willow and Spike exchanged glances that told they knew exactly where he was going and why. Both the hacker and chipped vampire made an agreement not to give away the secret of Connor’s paternal heritage until Cordelia was ready and Angel had his answers. Despite the fact it was only Spike who knew exactly who was Connor Chase’s daddy, Willow knew Angel had a lot to do with it.
The slamming of the now closed door resounded throughout the Magic Shop, leaving the group in silence once more.