Angel slowly drifted back to consciousness. He closed his eyes tighter trying to will himself back to sleep. He didn’t want to wake up and have the dream end.
The memories of the dream flashed through his mind. Angel tried to bring them into focus. His hand reached out at that the imagines, trying to capture the strands of long, dark hair that flowed around him.
Angel recognized the scent and feel of the silky tresses; they belonged to Cordelia. He concentrated on the imagines of his seer, marveling at the lushness of her nude body lying on his bed. His desire grew as he remembered the satiny warmth of her skin as he touched and caressed it his dream.
The dream had been so intense and real. Angel had dreamed of Cordelia before, a lot. But they had never been this erotic. He couldn’t remember when exactly that his dreams of Buffy changed to those of Cordelia. But at some point over the last year they had.
He no longer held a petite blonde in his arms when he fell asleep, but he held a fuller, softer brunette. He never held her for long. He would touch her and kiss her, imagining what it would be like; but eventually she would just fade away, leaving him feeling empty and guilty. But in this recent dream she hadn’t disappeared, she had stayed with him. And it had been spectacular, awesome, everything for him.
It had been the most sensual dream he ever had, alive and dead; in fact the feelings it inflamed in him had been more powerful those he had experience in any real sexual experience he had. It had been more overwhelming than the sexual acts he had done with the vamp Darla or the dream Darla. Dream Darla, he thought bitterly,
Cordelia had left his dreams when she showed up. At first, he would catch glimpses of her dark hair or her smile, but then Darla would come and take over, sexually arousing him, but leaving him grumpy and detached from those around him.
But now, he felt almost alive. Angel wanted that feeling to remain as long as it could. He did not want to wake up, alone and guilt-ridden thinking of his best friend in that way. So, he concentrated on the taste of Cordelia’s skin, the feel of her body on him, around him and beneath him. Angel could smell her scent all over him, he could hear her heart beat, its steady beat becoming stronger and faster as his desire grew. His cock became rigid, as his tongue explored his mouth searching for the taste of her flavor. His whole body ached in need and want as he remembered the bittersweet taste of her blood running down his throat.
Angel’s hand reached down to relieve the ache in his groin, when he stopped. His eyes flew opened as he felt a small warm hand surround his cock, it’s fingers rubbing and fondling his rigid member. It hadn’t been a dream, he thought in sudden remembrance of the past two days. He groaned, as the pressure on his cock became more insistent. He looked at the sleeping girl pleasuring him. Angel closed his eyes trying to think, but Cordelia’s actions were making it difficult, if not impossible.
Whatever, magic had effected them was over, he knew that somehow, but still he wanted her. He should wake her and stop her, but he couldn’t, he gasped again. But he had to think, he had just made love to Cordelia in every conceivable way, and…His thoughts were no longer on the sensations that Cordelia’s hand was causing within him. He had fed off her, repeatedly, he thought stunned. Fear and guilt overcame his desire, at the implications of his actions set in.
Cordelia’s hand had left him and she was now tossing around and whimpering. Oh, god, no, he thought, looking at the restless girl. Cordelia had been reacting unconsciously to his desire and now to his turmoil. Angel forced down his emotions. Cordelia started to calm down as he got his emotions under control. Angel silently damned himself, then gently caressed the girl and reached into her mind to calm her down more.
“Sleep, Cordy. Sh, just sleep,” his silent voice whispered into her subconscious mind. Angel gently moved from the bed as soon as her body rhythms relaxed into a peaceful sleep pattern.
Angel got off the bed and strode nude to the chair by Cordelia. He sat down and stared at the beautiful naked girl on the bed. His eyes took in immediately all the various puncture wounds that marred her perfect skin.
God he was a beast, Angel thought in guilt and disgust. He had barely left any area of Cordelia’s smooth skin unmarked. Never at any time in his whole existence had he felt such a need to weep tears he didn’t have or just to stake himself. Cordelia started to move around the bed, acting agitated.
“Sh,” Angel whispered willing her back to sleep.
This couldn’t be happening. With one last look at the now peaceful girl, he grabbed his pants and left the room. Angel needed to think and to get his emotions under control; and, he had to do it away from the beautiful girl that now belonged to him even more than before. Otherwise, his conflicting emotions would just continue to disturb her.
“I am tired of hearing- soon. When?” Demanded Harlan. “The vampire and his seer have been going at it for the last two days and now the spell is over.” The senior partner of Wolfram & Hart threw the pictures of the couple taken by the surveillance teams on the table.
“He had to get happy, at least once during all of this.” He spread the numerous pictures out on the table. Each photo depicted Angel and Cordelia in various stages of lovemaking. “Where is Angelus?” he shouted angrily.
The two women stared at the two lawyers in contempt. “Angelus will come when the vampire experiences true joy,” the old witch stated confidently.
“I’d have to agree with Harlan. Angel had to have experienced some joy. I mean look at them,” commented Lindsay.
“I rather not.” Darla angrily pushed aside the pictures. “Orgasms do not equal true happiness, no matter what you men think. My boy will return, but not because of some spell induced orgasms.”
“Then why did we do all of this? It wasn’t our plan do allow Angel a risk-free orgy weekend with his beautiful bitch seer,” complained Lindsay.
“The spell destroyed Angel’s control over his physical urges for the girl, let me finish,” Darla snapped at Harlan. “It destroyed not only his control over his physical urges as a man, but his urges as a vampire. He has fed off her and from the looks of these.” She motioned in contempt at the pictures. “He fed off her often and well.”
“So,” interrupted Lindsay.
“So, when a vampire feeds off an mortal, repeatedly, it creates a bond between the two and a specific need in the mortal, especially if it occurs during sex. It is somewhat similar to the bond between a sire and childe, not as intoxicating, but powerful, nonetheless.”
“Again, so?” asked the young attorney.
“Angel would never have had sex with his seer, especially once he realized that he loved her. Because, love and orgasms equal true happiness for the souled vampire, which gentlemen, means Angelus.”
“But, now that he is no longer under the influence of the spell, he won’t sleep with her again. He won’t risk his soul, no matter how much fun he had with girl, especially if he does love her,” stated a skeptical Lindsay.
“Why don’t we just keep dosing them with the spell and wait,” interrupted Harlan.
The old witch answered, “Because the effects are only temporary and more importantly, the spell can be broken.”
Darla ignored the interruption and answered Lindsay. “You would be right, he wouldn’t take the risk, if he had the choice. But he doesn’t have the choice, not anymore. Angel is a vampire, with a vampire’s urges; he just ignores them or represses them because of that repugnant soul of his. But, the bond that he has created with the girl won’t allow him to keep ignoring these urges, or at least those concerning the girl. He will take her again.”
“But, if he never realizes that he loves her. Hell, maybe he doesn’t.”
“He does and he will. The bond won’t allow him to deny it. They will become even closer; their feelings intensified. He won’t be able to hide them from the girl or himself.”
“What if he resists the bond?”
“He won’t or if he does it won’t be for long. Because to resist or deny the bond will endanger the girl. It would possibly kill her. It would definitely drive her insane. He knows that and he won’t risk it.”
“But the risk to his soul?”
“Angel won’t believe that there is a risk. He will protect the girl and fulfill her needs. He will rationalize that there is no risk of Angelus, because he doesn’t love the girl. But that self-delusion won’t last and once he realizes his true feelings for the girl, then…”
“Then Angelus. How long and don’t say soon,” demanded the senior partner.
“Oh, but it will be soon.” Darla picked up one of the pictures and this time smiled. “Very soon,” she said caressing the image of Angel. “My boy will be back and he will give me my life back,” she said looking in hatred at her human body. “Then we will kill this girl. She is pretty, though,” she begrudged. “Maybe we will play with her awhile first.” She laughed crumbling the picture in her hand and throwing it to the floor.
The old witch waited until the lawyers left the conference room before she spoke. “You do realize that this bond between the souled vampire and his seer will also be present between Angelus and the girl.”
“Of course,” Darla laughed. “Just think of the terror and pain, My boy, will be able to inflict on that stupid girl through the bond. It will be glorious.”
Angel sat slumped in a chair in the lobby, his hands covering his face. He had been sitting in that position for more than an hour, trying to come to terms with what he had done to Cordelia.
When he first came downstairs, he had hoped that he had been wrong, that the bond hadn’t been established. But as he sat there, he knew that hope to be false. Angel could always sense Cordelia’s presence. He could pick the unique rhythm of her heartbeat out of a crowd of mortals. He could smell her scent in the hotel long after she had left the building.
But now, it was so much more. Her essence swirled around him and through him. Angel could sense her body at rest upstairs. Angel unconsciously started to take unneeded breaths, mimicking those of the sleeping girl. He could not only hear her heartbeat; he could feel it’s gentle thumping throughout his body. Cordelia’s mind and body were completely open to him.
His seer was a part of him. And because of the bond he created, he had become a necessity to her physical and mental wellbeing. It was a good thing that Cordelia’s physical and mental wellbeing had become such a priority for him, he thought wryly.
Angel guiltily sighed. Once he explained it all to Cordelia, she was going to hate him, he thought. But whether she hated him or not; it didn’t really matter, she was his. Angel unconsciously smiled at the thought, thinking of Cordelia’s courage, spirit… and body, he growled in an afterthought.
Angelus, he worried suddenly. The demon hadn’t mad an appearance at all, during the definite joy-filled time he had been with Cordelia. Why? He questioned. Granted the time they had spent loving each other was spell induced; but artificially induced happiness had never stopped Angelus before. After all, Angelus showed up after Rebecca slipped him that happy drug. Of course, it was only temporary.
But Angelus hadn’t shown at all during the magic time. Why? Angel thought back to the first time he lost his soul, what was different? He had been with Buffy, having sex…and in love, he thought. It wasn’t the sex per se, he thought. It was the joy he felt in Buffy’s arms afterwards that triggered Angelus.
That was it, he rationalized. He didn’t love Cordelia. Sure he cared about her and he would do anything to keep her safe. She was family. He would kill or be killed, if it was necessary to keep his seer from harm. Her happiness and safety was his first priority.
But he didn’t love her. No, what he felt for Cordelia was so different from the love he had had with Buffy, he thought. Angel’s thoughts were suddenly diverted by a change in Cordelia’s breathing pattern. He could feel her become agitated and start to panic. He ran up the stairs.
Cordelia woke up; she looked around, at first not knowing where she was. Then she realized that she was in Angel’s bedroom. She glanced around. Angel was no where to be seen.
She started to panic. Cordelia’s thoughts came in a torrent, where was he, she needed him, why was she alone. Cordelia clutched at the quilt around her naked body and shook. The young girl tried to calm herself as she silently screamed out Angel’s name.
She gathered the cover around her rushing to check the rest of the hotel. She checked everywhere, but she couldn’t find him. With every passing moment that she couldn’t find him, she felt something shrivel inside her. Cordelia screamed again for Angel, this time as loud as she could. In doing so, she jolted herself awake. And she felt Angel’s arms around her.
He was gazing into her eyes. “Cordelia, it was just a dream, I am here. I will never leave you, I promise,” he whispered as he held her tighter.
“Oh, god, Angel, I thought…” Tears formed in her eyes.
“Sh, Cordy, I am here,” Angel said stroking her back.
Cordelia gazed at him in an aching hunger; she needed more that to just feel his arms around her. “Please,” she begged the vampire.
Angel struggled with his guilt and desire. “No, Cordelia. We have to talk,” he said softly his hands never leaving her body.
“I don’t want to talk, I need you.” Cordelia pressed her body closer.
Angel forced himself to ignore his body’s cry for release. “Cordy, the spell is over,” he struggled pushing the girl away.
Cordelia stared at him in confusion for a moment, then she blushed. The spell was over, Cordelia could tell. But she still wanted him. Cordelia tried to concentrate. “The spell…right, sorry,” she said moving away from the vampire.
“Cordelia, look at me,” Angel demanded at the downcast girl.
“No, I mean, I understand. I guess there was just some left over magic stuff, sorry,” she mumbled, scooting farther away.
“Cordelia,” Angel called reaching for her.
“No, I mean even if you wanted to you couldn’t, uh, I mean with out the magic, there is the Angelus worry, uh,” she rambled, trying to suppress her aching need for the vampire.
Angel shook his head, “No, it’s not Angelus, I am worried about.”
Cordelia looked at him puzzled. “Why not?”
“Because, I don’t love you,” he said. That statement did not come out right, he realized as the force of Cordelia’s emotions hit him. Angel winced as he felt the need, desperation, anger, love and feelings of rejection from the young brunette. He struggled to catch his breath, “Cordelia…”
“Leave me,” she gasped curling into a small ball.
“Cordelia,” he tried again.
“Go,” she yelled. Something was happening to her. Angel didn’t want her. So what, part of her mind argued. But the pain of that knowledge, overrode any self-pride she had. Something inside of her started to shrivel and die.
Just like in her dream. Maybe, she was dying, she thought with a smile. Maybe, she could just curl up tighter until she disappeared, anything to get away from this aching need.
Cordelia was willing herself to die. In panic, Angel grabbed her and gathered in his arms. Cordelia struggled against his hold. Cordelia just wanted to be alone, really alone, so the pain would end. “Don’t touch me,” she cried.
Angel pulled her closer to his body, “Cordelia, I am sorry,” he whispered into her dark hair.
“Can’t you just leave me alone,” she begged.
“No, I can’t.” Angel pulled her tight into his arms. “I can’t leave you alone, ever,” he said pressing her head onto his broad shoulder. “You belong to me, now,” he growled.
“You don’t want me,” she sobbed into his chest.
“God yes, I want you,” he growled unleashing the full force of his hunger into the girl’s mind. Angel had tried to control his desire for Cordelia. He hadn’t wanted to take advantage of her needs. He had wanted to tell Cordelia about the bond. But the warmth of her body, the call of her blood, and her desperate yearning for their joining, wrecked any attempt at self-control.
“You are mine. I am so sorry,” he added painfully as he captured her mouth and forced her back onto the bed.
Cordelia struggled at first, trying to reconcile her emotions with Angel’s feeling of desire and hunger. But Angel’s actions and presence overwhelmed her. Cordelia clutched at the vampire, holding him in desperation. “Please,” she begged again. But now there was no reason for her to plead. Angel was ready, willing and more than ready to placate her needs. Angel leaned up, gazing at the flushed beautiful woman lying on the bed.
“Angel,” she whispered.
“Sh.” Angel opened his mind more to Cordelia, showing her how much he wanted her. Cordelia gasped, reaching up to him. Her small hands splayed out against his chest. Her fingers spread out, caressing his nipples. Angel growled and shook his head and pushed her hands away. He smiled as he leaned back into her, kissing her collarbone, gently swirling his tongue against the satiny skin before him.
He could do this forever, he thought, as he tasted her delicate flesh, she was intoxicating. He growled again, his lips moved, creating a moist trail down her breast. Cordelia’s hips jumped off the bed as his tongue and teeth captured a taunt nipple. Angel was enthralled by the body quivering beneath him.
This was better than the times under the spell, he thought in amazement. His mind was clearer than it was before and the taste and feel of Cordelia was even more exhilarating. Angel growled in satisfaction, almost smugly at Cordelia’s fervent responses to his ministrations. Angel moved his kisses lower.
Cordelia’s hands gripped at the bed sheets as Angel’s lips reached the apex of her thighs. “Angel,” she begged, her hips bucking off the bed.
Angel silently laughed as he sucked and nipped her clit. Cordelia balled her small fist and punched as his back in frustration. With guilty pleasure, Angel scraped his fangs against her inflamed center. Cordelia stilled, waiting for the rush that accompanies the feed. Angel’s demon visage laughed. The vampire started to move upwards again.
Cordelia screamed in frustration. “I need you now,” she demanded pulling the vampire up by the hair.
“Please,” she added in almost a whisper. Her lust filled hazel eyes met the yellow demon eyes.
The vampire growled in agreement. Angel thrust inside her in one fluid stroke as he bit into Cordelia’ neck. Now, Cordelia knew she was going to die, the pleasure was unbearable. Her scream stalled in her throat as her body started to convulse. Angel growled his release as he licked the new wounds at Cordelia’s throat. Cordelia’s trembling body settled against Angel, the growls that had been emitting from his throat, softened to an almost purr.
Cordelia took a deep sigh. “I am sleepy now,” she said holding the vampire close. Angel savored the feeling of warmth that washed over his body as he held her close.
“Then sleep, my Cordy,” he said softly hugging her tightly. Cordelia smiled and fell asleep.
Angel brushed the hair off the sleeping girl’s face. He leaned over and tenderly kissed her forehead. “Dream sweet dreams,” he whispered gently. Dream of me, he added subconsciously, as he got off the bed.
Angel slowly got dressed as he stared at the sleeping brunette.
It’s good thing that you don’t love her, Angelus laughed in his head.
I don’t love her, Angel yelled back.
Oh that’s right you can only love…what…what is her name? countered Angelus.
Oh god, what was her name, Angel thought in panic.
She is a scrappy, whiney, blonde, if that helps, chuckled Angelus.
And… her name is Buffy, Angel thought in relief, and she is the only one that can make me lose my soul, yelled forcing down Angelus.
Of course she is, whatever you say, Angelus laughed as he receded back into the darkest part of Angel’s soul.