Part 11
(Note: This chapter involves BtVS episode “Choices”. I put my own spin on because I like Wesley and because Cordelia is around.)
The closer Cordelia got to the library, the more disheartened she became. Did she really want to trade one Buffy worshipper for another? Angel might be interested now but what happens after he’s cured?
Buffy will be right back in his life. At least with Xander, being with Buffy wasn’t an option. There was a time she would never have willingly played second fiddle to anyone but Cordelia was a realist. Everyone who mattered to her placed Buffy ahead of her.
Even Wesley, who didn’t really like Buffy, considered the blond to be his number one priority.
Would Angel still want her once he could have Buffy again? She doubted it was just a sexual conquest he was after. If it was, he could have accomplished that on her kitchen floor. She believed he valued her friendship and she didn’t doubt he desired her.
Was that enough though? Giles and Wesley valued her friendship but if they had to choose between Buffy and her, Buffy would win every time. Xander desired her but if Buffy offered herself too him, he’d jump at the chance, as long as she wasn’t under the influence of a spell.
She had tried coming in between Buffy and Angel before and she’d been left standing, looking like a fool. Granted it had been before she’d gotten to know Angel or even wanted him on more than a superficial level. Still did she want to go through that again? As much as she was loathed to admit, she knew her place. With Xander, she didn’t make waves.
Being with him wouldn’t cause any rifts. With Angel, she would start a tidal wave of enormous proportions. Battle lines would certainly be drawn and she and Angel would be out. How long would it be before he defected? Once Angel was back at full strength, he and Buffy would fight side by side again.
There would inevitably be some battle he was needed for and it would be like old times. He’d end up wondering why he’d ever left the much worshipped blond. Buffy would of course take him back, leaving Cordelia with nothing but the backstabbing sheep.
Cordelia didn’t try to delude herself. She’d seen first hand what happens when you cross Buffy Summers. Everyone kicked Miss Calender to the curb. Giles hadn’t been willing to give his girlfriend a second chance until he’d gotten Buffy’s nod of approval. Angel was considered by all to be Buffy’s rightful property. There would be no second chances given to a boyfriend stealer.
Did she really want to risk her place in their world on the off chance of finding true happiness with Angel?
“Are you alright? You’ve been awfully quiet.” Angel avoided looking directly at her. Something about her air made him wary of listening to her thoughts. It was only a matter of time before she came to her senses and realized he couldn’t offer her anything. She could do so much better than a vampire with a soul.
“I’m fine.”
He could tell by the sound of her voice she was anything but. He caught her hand and pulled her into the nearest classroom.
“Hey!”
Angel pressed her against the closed door. “What’s wrong?”
*This can’t work*
He seized her lips, trying to wipe away her negative thoughts. His tongue plunged in the fiery depths. His hands slid down her back to cup her bottom. He gave it a healthy squeeze then pulled her hard against him.
Her thoughts went spinning away. The only thing she was aware of was Angel. The way he tasted as his tongue tangled with hers. The way he felt as his hips pressed into hers. The way he surrounded her so perfectly, his hands trapping her close. Her lungs burned for air but death by suffocation seemed preferable. Abandoning his lips was unthinkable. Her hands fisted in his hair and kept his lips where they belonged. She whimpered in protest when he broke off his assault.
“You need to breathe.”
“Don’t wanna,” she panted, “need more kissing.” She tried to drag him back but his lips veered to the right. Her moan of frustration turned to pleasure as he latched onto her neck. One leg hooked around his hip bringing them closer.
He supported her leg under her knee and rocked against her. “Please don’t give up on us. Don’t give up on me.”
“You don’t fight fair.” She gave herself another moment to savor the feel of him hard against her before pulling her leg free. She stood as straight as his hold on her allowed. “Cordelia Chase is not a sheep or a coward.” She noticed the confusion and fear in his eyes. “I think it’s time I rocked the boat.”
The radiance of her smile calmed his fears. He tensed when it began to dim.
“I don’t think either of us wants to hurt anyone. Which means you and I need to slow down.” Her whole body screamed in protest as her traitorous hands forced him back a step. “We both have some decisions to make but when I’m kissing you, my brain ceases to work.”
“What are you saying?”
“I want to be with you, Angel. You make me happy and you make my toes curl.” She caressed his cheek with the back of her fingers. “I just…it’s pretty much a given that no one will be happy for us. What are you willing to lose?”
“I’m not willing to lose you.”
“That’s sweet but it doesn’t answer my question.” She opened the door without turning around. “Don’t kiss me again until you have an answer. Let’s go.”
“Cordy, I..”
“You have my friendship, Angel. That’s also a given as far as I’m concerned. The rest is still negotiable.” She reached out and squeezed his hand. “We haven’t made any decisions except I’ve decided not to throw in the towel before I even climb into the ring.”
“Huh?”
“Geez. You’re the guy. I’m the one who shouldn’t understand a boxing analogy. I’ll keep it simple. I like you, Angel. I want you in my life and in my bed but I’m scared. You aren’t mine and there’s a part of me that’s telling me to quit now before I get hurt. I’ve decided to tell that voice to shut the hell up. I’m no martyr. I’m keeping my options open. Now let’s go before they send a search party or I throw you down on the floor.”
Angel followed Cordelia down the corridor. He knew she was right. Putting off decisions simply because Buffy wasn’t around wasn’t fair to her or to Buffy. Trying to distance himself from his dilemma by referring to his relationship as an obstacle was counterproductive. He and Buffy would eventually have to talk face to face. Distance would be impossible. He owed it to all of them to be honest.
He needed to figure out what his answer is. What is he willing to lose?
***
Angel and a subdued Cordelia entered the library.
“Sorry we’re late. I hope you didn’t solve the ascension without us.”
“That would be a tragedy. I would never be so insensitive as to do something like that.” Giles shot her a mock glare. “We do have some good news for you.”
“Cool. What is it?”
Giles glanced in Angel’s direction. “We’ve discovered a cure.”
Cordelia felt her stomach drop. She managed to figure out she wanted to fight for Angel a minute before she lost her chance with him. “That’s great.”
Oz studied the pair. He leaned closer to Willow and whispered, “Is it me or do they seem to be lacking the joy?”
“It’s not you. Buffy will be so happy. I hope she gets here soon.”
“What does the cure entail? In my experiences, magic always comes with a price.”
“It isn’t…”
“Hey guys, I just…”
“They found the cure, Buffy!” The redhead smiled happily at her best friend.
“Really?” She received a room full of nods. “I knew you’d do it, Giles.”
“Actually it was Wesley who discovered it.”
Buffy smiled at her new watcher before turning back to her real watcher.
“I was just about to tell Angel more about the cure. We are going to need the demon that got away. I won’t go into details but we will need…some ingredients that only this demon can provide in order to make the potion.”
“Yuck”
“Very. Now on your patrol tonight, you…”
“Hold that thought Giles.” *Is the ascension really that important? Dammit! I want my boyfriend back. It’s not fair!*
“I spotted Faith carrying a box into the Mayor’s office. I questioned one of his vampire lackeys. It’s called the Box of Gavrok and it’s important to the Mayor’s ascension. That was all I managed to get before I was forced to introduce the vamp to Mr. Pointy. As much as I want Angel cured, it’s going to have to wait a little longer. We need to find out more about this box before I go in and steal it.”
“Of course, I have a text on mystical boxes. I’ll start researching immediately.”
“I’ll get a copy of the layout for the Mayor’s office.”
“I’ll help Willow.”
“Buffy and I will do a little recon and find out where they’re keeping it.” Xander went into the cage and grabbed a crossbow.
“I think you are all forgetting who is in charge here. I should be the one to accompany Buffy.”
“Thanks Wes but Xander is good with the strategy making.”
“Yup I was Army guy. Let’s go Buffy.” The pair left before Wesley could protest again.
“Well I guess we’ll stand around and do nothing.” Cordelia glanced around the library. Only she, Angel and Wesley remained.
*My father said I would fail as a watcher.*
“I guess Cordelia was right about you.”
“I beg your pardon.”
“My cure. She said you were the right man for the job and she was right.”
“I am glad I could be of service. I should check to see if Mr. Giles requires my assistance.” The young watcher offered a sincere smile before he walked into the office.
“Do you want me to move out?”
“What?”
“After I’m cured, would you like me to move out?”
“Do you want to?”
“No but you said we needed to slow things down. I thought..”
“Faith is still after you and you’re not back to full strength yet. You can’t go back to the mansion.”
“I already feel stronger. I think you were right about my needing rest to recover. After only a couple of nights with you in my arms, I feel rested. I feel whole.”
“As far as I’m concerned, you’re welcome to stay with me until my parents return. I’d let you stay longer but I doubt Daddy would approve. You don’t have a stock portfolio or even a source of income as far as I know.” She stepped closer. “I like having you close. I said I wanted to slow down, not stop. Unless you want…”
“No. I want to stay with you.”
“Buffy will probably have something to say about it. She won’t be avoiding you anymore.”
“Probably but I intend to stay with you until you kick me out.”
“Good answer.”
***
“It’s in the conference room on the top floor. Buffy will enter through the skylight here.” Xander pointed on the map.
“They’ll probably be magicks protecting it so I’ll be on the roof with you.”
“Wesley and I will be in the van out front in case a diversionary tactic is needed.”
“Right. Do we know what we’re going to do with the box once we have it?”
Giles nodded at Buffy. “We destroy it. The “Breath of the Entropics” should do the trick.”
“I’ve written down the ingredients and some directions. Oz, you can go to the magic shop. They know you’re my boyfriend so just put it on my account. You, Cordy and Angel can get the spell ready for our return.”
“OK”
Xander watched Cordelia and Angel, standing shoulder to shoulder, nod in unison. “I think Cordy should come with us.”
“Why?”
“I have to stay on the roof with you. Which means Willow will have to get back to the van by herself. She and Cordy can watch each other’s backs.”
“Cordelia?” *She’s so useless*
“Yes” Xander walked around the table and pulled Cordelia close. “Are you up for it, sweetie?”
“I..”
“Maybe I should go instead of Xander. I might not be back to normal but I’m still stronger than him. Xander and Oz can work the spell.”
“Mr…Angel has a valid point but it would be better if Xander and Angel both went. Cordelia and Oz can manage the spell.”
Xander nodded. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted but he was sick of his girlfriend spending so much time with the vampire. *He already has Buffy. He could at least let me have Cordy.*
Angel wanted to growl at the obnoxious boy’s thoughts. He didn’t deserve Cordelia. “That’s fine with me.” As long as Cordy is safe, he silently added.
“No. Angel stays here. He’s dealt with magic before. Dating Willow doesn’t make Oz an expert. No offense.”
“None taken.”
Buffy returned his nod. “Cordelia can come with us. She and Willow will be fine. They’ll be gone before I go in. Xander is my strategy guy. I don’t need him for strength. No offense, Xan.”
“S’okay. With that pulley system, I think I can handle all 95 pounds of the lean mean slayin’ machine.”
She winked. “OK. Does everybody know what they’re doing?”
“Buffy, I..”
“Angel, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.” *He’ll be cured soon and then we can fight side by side again.* “We’ll be back soon. Keep the home fires burning for us.” Buffy looked over at Willow and Oz who were kissing for luck. *Why can’t I have something like that? ‘Cuz I’m the slayer, that’s why.* “Let’s go.”
Angel glared at Xander who was holding Cordelia’s hand and practically dragging her behind him as he panted after Buffy.
*I’ll be fine, Spacey. Don’t make waves. It’s not the right time.* She managed a small smile before she left with the others.
“I’m heading out to the magic shop. I’ll be back.”
“I’ll be here.” Angel scanned the library. “Alone.”
***
“Oh yeah. I’m a badass Wicca.”
“OK Willow. Get gone and be safe.”
“We will.” Cordelia shot a glare at Buffy.
“Be careful Cordy. I’ll see you back at the library.”
He pulled her close and kissed her before she could protest. “OK. You two be careful.”
“We will.” He slapped her butt as she turned to leave.
***
“How could you let this happen?”
“Me?” Buffy stared at Angel in disbelief. “They were supposed to go back to the van. No one knew we were there yet. They should have been safe.”
“No one is suggesting you are to blame.” Giles glared at the irate vampire. “I’m sorry, Buffy. We assumed they remained with you.”
“Dammit!” *I should have never let Cordelia go without me. I could have protected her.*
“We go back. Full on assault.” *I can’t lose Willow. I didn’t even say good luck to her. I only talked to Cordy. I was so stupid! How was Cordy going to keep my Willow safe?*
Angel didn’t hold back his growl this time. Xander was the one who insisted Cordy go in the first place.
“They’ll be killed if we go rushing in there.”
“So we just leave them there Giles? Is that what you’re saying? I’ll go by myself if I have to.”
“Angel, we need to come up with a plan.”
“I..”
“I know what’s at stake. My best friend is in there!”
“Dammit so is mine!”
“What?” Buffy shook her head in confusion. “Since when are you and Willow best friends?”
He clenched his hands into fists, fighting the urge to hit someone. “I’m talking about Cordelia.”
“Oh.” *I can’t deal with that right now.* Her eyes rested on the box. “We trade, the box for Willow and Cordelia.”
“That box is our best shot at stopping the Mayor.”
“We’re talking about Willow…and Cordelia, Wesley. We’ll stop the Mayor another way.”
“If he ascends, the world will be in peril. Your families, your friends will…”
“Are you even human?”
“You wanted to take the fight to the Mayor and we have.”
Angel crossed the room in a flash. He spoke in low tones so only Wesley could hear. “Cordelia is your friend. She reached out to you when no one else did.”
“There is too much at risk. I will not fail in my duty.”
“She’s in there with Faith. You didn’t hear her thoughts. I know what she planned to do to Cordy that night in the mansion. Can you live with yourself if you let this happen, if you let Faith hurt her like that? I know you must have learned about torture to become a watcher. Cordelia needs our help.”
Wesley removed his glasses. “Bloody hell!” The Englishman spun around and hit the stand sending the pot crashing to the floor. “Make the call Mr. Giles.”
Everyone stood frozen in shock for a moment.
“Mr. Giles?”
“Yes of course. I’m on it.”
Angel glanced around the room.
Buffy collapsed into a chair at the table. *This is all my fault. I can’t lose Willow.*
Xander paced the length of the floor by the stacks. *Please be okay Will. Please be okay.*
Oz sat down on the stairs with his face buried in his hands. *She’ll be okay. I know she will. They’ll both be fine.*
Wesley leaned against the counter. *My father never had a friend in his life. He’ll never understand. I did the right thing. I did. I know I did. I hope I did the right thing.*
“They’ll be here at midnight for the exchange. *They’ll both be fine. They have to be. I don’t think Buffy could handle losing Willow. I need to be strong for Buffy right now.*
“I need some air. I’ll be back.”
“You’re a vampire.”
“Shut up Xander. I think you’ve done enough talking today.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Angel ignored him and headed for the exit door in the stacks but Xander stepped in his way. “Move.”
“I want to know what you meant by that.”
“Move boy.” He didn’t budge. “If you make me say it again, you’ll have about five seconds to regret it.”
Buffy grabbed Angel’s shoulder. “Calm down. We’re all worried about them.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I’ve already heard your concerns. I’ll be back in time to prepare for their arrival.”
“Don’t do anything stupid.”
“I’ll wait for the exchange but if..” He rolled his shoulders in an effort to relax. It didn’t work. He grabbed Xander by the throat and shoved him aside. The boy went crashing into the chairs. “Next time get out of my way.” He stormed off without another word.
“Soul or no soul, he’s still a bastard!”
***
Cordelia slowly drifted into consciousness. Her head felt like it had been run over by a truck. Repeatedly. She forced her eyes to open.
“It’s about time Queenie. I thought you were never gonna wake up. You and me have a little unfinished business.”
Cordelia tried to turn her head to look around. The attempt made her nauseous.
“If you’re looking for Willow, she’s stuffed in a storage room. I thought you’d appreciate some privacy for what I have planned.”
*Angel, help me*