Part 20
“Does this mean we’re done talking about the potion?”
“Cor, if what you say about my demon and my soul blending is true, this talk can’t wait.”
“What’s the rush?”
“My demon wants to claim you. It has for some time now.” His eyes locked with hers. “And my soul is pretty much in total agreement. The only thing stopping me is the fact that my soul would like to have your blessing first. I want the claim to be mutual.”
“Well I KNOW you weren’t lying about it feeling good but I still don’t know what it means. The bite on my thigh is almost healed already. I guess it wouldn’t..”
“That kind of mark isn’t what I’m talking about.” Angel touched the side of her neck. “My mark will be here. It will be for the entire world to see and it will be permanent.”
“Why?”
“It’s my claim. It’s a sign of our bond.”
“So it’s not about drinking my blood?”
“Blood plays an important part but no. It’s not about drinking. I could drink from other parts of your body.”
“Then why not keep doing that?”
He pulled his hand away. “So you don’t want this?”
“I didn’t say that. I still don’t know what ‘this’ is. What does claiming me mean exactly? You bit Buffy and Kate. Are they claimed?”
“No. I just bit them.”
“Huh?”
“I know it’s confusing but there is a difference. Vampires bite people. The jugular is the most effective place to drain someone. Normally a bite mark would just mean a vampire was stopped for whatever reason before it could finish. I’m sure there have been vampires that noticed Buffy’s scar but their senses would detect that no claim has been made and ignore it.”
“So this is a vampire in general thing and not just because of your soul?”
“My soul will affect the normal workings of a claim but it is a vampire ritual.”
“So are we talking Spike and Druscilla, vampires in love?”
“No. Druscilla never claimed Spike and as his sire, she would have to be the one to initiate it. A sire-childe bond is a different type of claim. It’s one-sided. A vampire can have more than one childe but only one mate. James and Elisabeth were mates.”
“Woah. James and Elisabeth, they had the big forever love.” Cordelia started to edge away. “So this marking thing isn’t like giving a girl your fraternity pin, is it? ‘Cuz I didn’t get the going steady vibe from the James and Elisabeth story.”
“If I had to put it in human terms, marriage would be the closest equivalent.”
“Marriage? Wow. That’s…umm..marriage.” She backed off the bed. “That’s…big.”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be fine? Just ’cause you’re talking about a marriage-like thing less than a week into our relationship is no reason to freak out. I’m fine. I’m just dandy. I could use some air though. It’s stuffy in here. Don’t you think it’s stuffy?”
Under different circumstances the sight of a naked Cordelia desperately trying to open his bedroom door might be funny. “We’re locked in, remember?”
“Right. I knew that.” She walked to the balcony door. “Dammit! Why the hell did they lock this door too? Did they think we might climb out onto the ledge, shimmy to the next room and escape to freedom? Pfft!” She picked up a statue off of his desk. “I wonder if the glass is protected.”
Angel snatched the valuable piece from her hands. “What the hell are you doing? You promised not to leave me anymore when you do your panicking.”
“I’m sorry but you can’t talk about that level of commitment and expect me not to flip out! What the hell do I know about being someone’s wife or mate or whatever?”
“If you need time, I..”
“If I need time? If I need time! Weren’t you the one saying this needed to be decided now?”
Angel felt despair welling up around him. She was right. This decision shouldn’t be rushed. Could he really blame her for having doubts about committing herself to him? Up until he heard about the blending, he believed he could wait. He told himself he could continue to control his demon each time they made love.
He wouldn’t bite her again until they made the decision together. Knowing about the blending showed him, he was deluding himself. The truth was his soul wanted Cordelia to be his as much as his demon did. He had already come so close to claiming her. The morning he’d taken her from behind, he’d been seconds away from completing the ritual.
When his demon had pushed forward at her teasing, it wasn’t until he heard the bathroom door lock, that the reality of his actions registered. The fact he only drank from her hadn’t relieved his guilt. How long would it be before he took what he really wanted? How could he trust himself to be locked in her tight embrace and remain in control? He wasn’t sure he could. That was the real reason for the rush. He already knew what he wanted. He wanted to get her permission before he lost control and claimed her without it. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t! Please don’t start that. I’m trying to deal with my own feelings of inadequacy. I can’t handle yours right now.”
“Your…why on earth do you feel inadequate? Cor, you are..”
~Ring!~
“You have got to be kidding me!”
Cordelia ignored Angel’s growling and grabbed her cell phone. She answered without checking the caller ID. “Hello”
“Hello. Cordy?”
“Yes”
“It’s Donna.”
*Shit! Truth spell. Shit!* “Hi Donna.”
“Have you seen the news?”
“No”
“The police just raided the Wellington Marriage Center. There is a man hunt going on right now for Bob. Apparently he was one of the ring leaders. There were hundreds of people in some cave beneath the Center. They’ve been there for months. The police didn’t say why all those people were kidnapped. Bob and his cohorts apparently kept them all drugged. We called the police station and a detective told us there were cameras in all of the rooms. The police found a surveillance room attached to Bob’s office. He recorded us.”
“That’s terrible!” *It is.*
“They’re investigating everyone who works there. None of the men they’ve arrested so far actually work for the Center. Bob is the only employee they have anything incriminating on, so far anyway. He and some other guy escaped before the police arrived. The men in custody have refused to give a description of the other guy. They just keep referring to him as their master. It sounds like a cult. I just can’t believe it. Bob seemed like such a nice guy. You must be especially disturbed by this. You had him as your private counselor.”
“I was pretty freaked.”
“You were? I thought you said you didn’t watch the news. Did you already know about this?”
*Damn you, Wesley!* “Yes”
“How?”
Cordelia sunk into Angel’s chair. “Donna, I’m not who you think I am.”
“What? Oh god! You’re not a member of the cult, are you?”
“No! God no. My name is Cordelia Chase. I work for Angel Investigations. We were hired to investigate the disappearance of a married couple. They were last seen at the Wellington Marriage Center. Angel and I were there undercover.”
“How come you’re not on the news?”
“Professionally speaking, we usually try to avoid unnecessary public attention.”
“Oh”
“I’m sorry I lied to you.”
“That’s alright. You helped rescue those people. That’s the important thing. Do you and your husband do a lot of undercover work?”
“Angel and I aren’t married.”
“Really?”
“We are in love though.”
“I can’t believe you’re not married. Have you been together long?”
“Not as a couple.”
“That explains why you didn’t want to give up sex, even for a night.” She started laughing. “And why you only held out ’til morning. Do you think you and Angel will get married some day? You seem so well suited.”
“Actually we were just kinda talking about marriage, in a manner of speaking.”
“That’s great! How did it go?”
“I seriously considered climbing out on the ledge to get away from the conversation; which would have been a funny sight to see since I’m naked.”
Donna laughed. “Oh sweetie, why were you trying to run?”
“What do I know about marriage? You heard me talk about my parents. I wasn’t making that stuff up.”
“You’re not your parents.”
“Don’t they say daughters are destined to become their mothers one day? I don’t want that for me or for Angel.”
“There is some truth to that saying but that’s because our mothers teach us our ideals. They help create the way we think. Like you told me, the girl you once were was your mother’s daughter. Then you grew up. You recognized that your mother was wrong and you recreated yourself. You are an individual. Don’t miss out on something wonderful because of your parents.”
“But..”
“Cordelia, is Angel the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?”
“Yes”
“Do you believe Angel wants to spend the rest of his life with you?”
“Yes” *For as long as I’ve got anyway.*
“Then face your fears. Love is worth it. There will be problems along the way but such is life. George and I have known each other since we were ten. We’ve been in love since we were fifteen. We bicker like the old married couple we are but we both plan on growing old with each other. Is Angel there now?”
“Yes”
“Look at him.”
When she looked over at Angel lying on the bed, their eyes locked. “OK”
“Is he the person you want to wake up beside every day?”
“Yes”
“Is he the person you want to share your joy with?”
“Yes”
“Is he the person you want by your side during the difficult times?”
“Yes”
“Do you want him to come to you with his joy and his sorrow?”
“Yes”
“Do you want to be the last person he sees at night and the first person he sees in the morning?”
“Yes”
“Is he the only man you want to share the gift of your body with?”
“Yes”
“Do you want to be his only lover?”
“I better be.”
“It sounds to me like you’ve already made up your mind.”
“I’m still scared.”
“You should be. Giving yourself to another person is frightening. You open yourself up to being hurt. Do you trust Angel?”
“With my life.”
“What about your heart? Do you trust him with your heart?”
She studied her vampire love. His eyes displayed love, fear, pain and resignation. Could she? With her realization came a sense of contentment, she could. “Yes”
“Then do it.”
“George is a lucky man.”
“Thanks sweetie. We’re both lucky. I may like to complain but he’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I’m sure he feels the same way.”
“He does. He likes to complain too. He loves telling people he’s the bread winner in our home, that he works all these long hours while I stay at home eating bonbons. He likes to leave out the part that I’m a writer. Granted I’ve only sold a few stories to some magazines and haven’t made much money. Right now I’m working on my first book.”
“That’s great. Why didn’t you say anything sooner?”
“Well…most people react kinda funny when I tell them what kind of stories I write.”
“Why?”
“I write science fiction.”
“Really?”
“It’s male dominated genre with a few notable exceptions. Before you ask, no. I do not own a Star Trek uniform.”
Cordelia started laughing. “I wasn’t going to ask. So what exactly..”
“Monster stories. Anne Rice is my role model. You think I’m a total spaz now, don’t you?”
“No. Actually I was thinking you and I are going to be good friends.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I should go. I think Angel’s feeling neglected.”
“One last thing. My grandmother gave me a sampler on my wedding day. It said ‘Happiness is being married to your best friend’. I can tell you from personal experience; it’s true.”
“Thanks Donna.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll call you in a few days. We’ll have lunch.”
“Sounds good. I’d like to get to know Cordelia Chase.”
“I’d like that too. Bye”
“Bye”
Cordelia ended the call and switched her cell phone off. Angel was still watching her. “Hey.”
“…”
She could feel his despair rolling off him in waves. She stood at the foot of the bed. Angel was stretched out before her in all his glory. “I think Donna’s pretty wonderful.”
“…”
She kneeled on the bed. “She’s pretty smart too.”
“…”
“She’s pretty slick as well. She managed to tell me how stupid I am without actually calling me stupid.”
“…”
“You see I’m not afraid to use the word forever but I’ve never really believed it existed. Everything in my life was been temporary. Everyone has eventually left me.” She blinked back her tears. “You know what I finally figured out.”
“…”
“None of those people wanted to be my forever.” A single tear slid down her cheek. “I loved all of them in different ways but the truth is I did know they weren’t my forever.” She clasped his ankles. “Do you remember when I first promised to stay with you?”
He nodded.
“I promised to be with you until you shanshued. When you first hired me, I said it was only until my inevitable stardom kicked in.” Her eyes dropped to her hands. “I always put a limit on my promises to protect myself from getting hurt. There is a part of me that knows I want you to be my forever. Unfortunately that part is buried under a ton of emotional baggage.”
She looked deep into his eyes, searching for understanding. “Life with me isn’t going to be easy.” She began crawling towards him. “I can’t promise I won’t occasionally freak out.” She bent down and dropped a kiss on his knee. “Until I met Fred’s parents, I’d never met a happily married couple. I wasn’t sure they existed.”
She dipped her head and kissed his thigh. “I do know I love you more than I thought possible.” She felt his abs twitch beneath her lips. Her tongue darted out to lick the trembling muscle. “I do know you bring out the best in me.” She worried a nipple with her teeth before gently sucking on it. “I do know you are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She nipped his collarbone. “I do know I can’t bear the thought of living my life without you.” She planted kisses up his neck to his ear. “I know that I will love you with my last breath and probably beyond.” She nibbled on his earlobe before lifting her head to meet his gaze. “I know that I already belong to you. I have for a long time.”
Angel could no longer remain still. He crushed her lips to his. Her mouth opened at his urging allowing him entrance. He rolled her beneath him. “What are you saying?”
She cradled his face with both hands. His cool frame soothed her heated one. “I’m saying it’s silly to torture both of us over a decision I’ve already made. I love you, Angel. I want to be with you and only you for the rest of my life. I know that without a doubt.” She captured his lips for a brief kiss. “It’s the promise that scares me. Whether it’s a bite or a vow, it is a promise and in my experience, people don’t keep their promises. Expecting them to only gets you hurt.”
“I’m one of the people that hurt you.”
“I know. I tried to keep a wall around my heart but you and your vampire strength jumped right over it. I could build another one, a higher wall or I can take a chance and trust you.”
“I won’t hurt you again.”
“Yes you will and I’ll hurt you. It’s a part of life. We’ll fight and we’ll make up. It’s the risk we take when we love someone.”
“Cor, if you need time..”
“I told you I already made my decision. I belong to you. I’m scared and I’ll continue to be scared until I face my fears. Cordelia Chase is no coward. Make love to me, Angel. Make me yours. I want the whole world to know we belong to each other.”
“I love you. I love you so much.” His lips descended, capturing hers in a bruising kiss.
She mirrored his hunger, his need. Her hands explored the smooth, hard planes of his back, relishing the way the muscles twitched beneath her fingertips. She reluctantly broke the kiss to gasp for air.
Angel trailed kisses along her jaw, down her neck, the scent of her arousal calling to him.
She grabbed his hair and yanked his lips to hers, devouring his mouth. With acceptance came urgency. “I need you inside me now.” She hooked her leg around his hip, teasing him with her heat. “Please!”
“Are you sure?”
Without hesitation, “Yes.”
He entered her inch by painstaking inch. His eyes never left hers.
She tried to buck her hips, anything to urge him forward. His grip on her hip stilled her movements. He refused to be rushed. She sighed in relief when he finally filled her. Her relief quickly turned to annoyance when he didn’t move. “Angel”
“Shh. Just let it happen.”
“But..” He stopped her words with his lips. He slowly began to withdraw only to return in one hard thrust. She desperately clutched his back. Her hips rose to meet his next thrust.
He set a hard, steady rhythm. He wanted this to last. Cordelia said she was his. For the first time in almost 250 years of unlife, he was ready to claim a mate. His hands started roaming her body. He wanted to possess every inch of her.
She arched into his touch. Something so cool shouldn’t be able to set her body ablaze but it did. Every brush of his fingers, every caress sent electric pulses straight to her core, stoking the fire the slide of his body created. The sweet torment was exquisite.
Angel savored every moan, every whimper, every tremble from the beautiful woman in his arms. Gone was the demon’s desperation, the soul no longer fought their wishes. Cordelia was his by choice and by admission.
Her body was humming in pleasure. She wrapped her legs around his hips. The instep of each foot rubbed along the back of his thighs.
Missing her taste, he seized her lips. His need for release was intensifying with each passing moment. He swallowed her moans as his hands became more demanding. Caressing fingers began pinching, kneading and rubbing every sensitive spot he’d discovered thus far.
Cordelia was consumed by a burning need. He possessed her body with such ease, such skill. Angel filled her senses with pleasure, he filled her body like no other man could and he filled her heart more completely than she believed possible. She was past being ready. “Angel please!” Words floated through her, surrounded her, filled her with peace and such unparalleled love. It felt so right. “Now!”
Without hesitation or reservation, Angel took what was offered to him.
“Through your blood, a bond created.
Through your acceptance, a bond sealed.
Upon my mark, a bond eternal.
Mine!”
His teeth slid into her neck, making her gasp. A twinge of pain was replaced by pleasure. One wave of ecstasy after another crashed over her. Her body quivered and exploded only to explode again. Swirls of color danced behind her eyes. She took a shaky breath as her mind fell back to earth.
Angel could taste her varying emotions as her blood flowed over his tongue. His control snapped. With a growl, his teeth sunk deeper and his hips crashed into hers in sweet, satisfying release. He allowed one more mouthful before gently extracting his fangs. He carefully cleaned his mark.
She sighed at his ministrations. Her bones had turned to jelly but she managed to keep her arms wrapped around his still trembling form.
Brown eyes locked with hazel. “Mine.”
“Yours.”
He leaned in for a kiss but she turned away. “What’s wrong?”
“Aren’t you forgetting something?”
“What?”
Cordelia’s strength returned. She flipped him onto his back. “You’re mine too.”
He smiled at her grinning face. “Am I?”
“Yup. All mine.”
He tangled his fingers in her hair. “I am all yours.”
“And don’t you forget it Mister.”
“Never.” Angel pulled her to him. “I love you.”
She nipped his bottom lip. “I love you too. Now shut up and kiss me.”
“Yes ma’am!”