Part 3
“What are you gonna do Wes?”
“I’m going to talk with him Gunn but I’ve already told you that three time times; so what are you really asking me?”
“It could be happening again.”
“It could but it seems unlikely. Angel has been different since his return and since Connor’s birth he’s been more mellow than he ever was, even before his misguided venture into destroying Wolfram and Hart.”
“It’s like I said all along Wes, we can’t afford to get too relaxed. We have to be ready for anything at anytime.”
“Gunn don’t you think you’re being a little melodramatic?”
“Two things Wes; one, would you have believed before it happened that he would have treated us the way he did and two, it wasn’t your spine he threatened to wrap around your neck. And since you brought up the kid, isn’t his mother the vamp Angel let us believe he staked when he asked to come back?”
“No and true…and yes, Angel does seem to pick and choose his truths for his own convenience.”
“That’s all I’m saying Wes, we have to be careful.”
“I agree Charles but for now we need to concentrate on preventing the heinous assault Cordelia saw in her vision so let’s try to avoid fighting amongst ourselves.”
“I’m down for that as long as he understands that Cordy doesn’t belong to him and for that matter ain’t none of us part of some clan. We work together, that’s all.”
“Let’s leave the car here. We’ll make our way across the park to the sewer access and search for any suspicious looking persons or activity. Luckily it’s almost sunset but we need to be prepared in case anything happens before Angel can leave the sewer tunnel.”
“You watch the left, I’ll watch the right. We’re a good team Wes; we’ve taken care of plenty of visions on our own.”
“You know there was a time Charles when we referred to one another as family, Angel was included in that reference.”
“There was a time Wes when a lot of things were different.”
***
Assault averted and assailant in custody, the vision had been handled none too quietly and the three men journeyed to the hotel in uncomfortable silence.
If Angel was indeed headed toward another dark before the dawn of an epiphany episode Wesley couldn’t help but wonder whether there would be any survivors this time. They were not the same people Angel had chased away before. They were more independent of Angel now and stronger, physically and emotionally.
For that matter Angel was not the same vampire Wesley had ran into almost two years ago. At times he seemed a shell of his former self but at times, like tonight, Wesley was reminded that Angel was, at his core, a killer.
He and Cordelia had forgotten that somewhere along the way and it was the soul, not the demon that had presented the harsh reminder of their mistake. They had all changed during Angel’s descent into the dark side but some of those changes, although necessary, did not offer a comforting reassurance for their survival as a family.
Their more critical impasse this time would be Angel’s reaction to them taking Connor away from him. Wesley knew without doubt Cordelia would never leave the child with Angel if his mental stability was in question, even if it meant their own bloody demise.
*Wesley*
My God, what happened tonight? Angel was like a crazed animal when he attacked that man. Without the help of the three officers, Gunn and I would have never been able to pull Angel off the attacker before he killed him.
Thank goodness one of the officers was a good friend of Kate Lockley and knew it had been Angel that saved her when she overdosed. Otherwise, they would have taken Angel to jail as well as the rapist. Yes, Charles is right, something is definitely going on; but what? Everything seemed fine until Cordelia had the vision. I can understand Charles’ reaction. He was simply protecting his friend, someone he considers a sister. I must admit I was quite proud of the way he stood up to Angel.
No doubt Angel could have snapped his neck. Not that I will ever share that opinion with Charles Gunn. I will definitely have to talk with Angel; he can’t go around threatening the others just because he’s upset. We were all worried about Cordelia…but Angel seemed to be going off in a blind panic. It’s no secret that vampires are very protective of what they view as theirs but why would Angel make such an ordeal over Gunn preventing him from seeing Cordelia? Hmmm, it was when Gunn referred to Cordelia as his girl that Angel seemed to lose all control.
I certainly need to speak to Angel concerning his actions with the assailant tonight. Angel nearly beat the man to death. Regardless of the horrendous acts he’s likely guilty of, Angel cannot go around dispensing his own brand of justice on humans. Why would he accuse the man of hurting Cordelia?
Is Angel so emotionally unstable right now that he actually thinks the man intended to rape Cordelia? Perhaps he misunderstood my explanation about her new ability in viewing the visions. I really don’t think that’s the problem. Yes, Angel and I will definitely talk…as soon as I figure out what the hell is going on.
*Gunn*
Who does that vamp think he is? Our lives have been a living hell since he went off the deep end and it just keeps getting worse, not better. He threatens to kill me because I refuse to let him force his way in to see Cordy, then he almost kills the guy in the vision. The dude is slime, I’m not arguing that but it’s not for Angel to decide who lives and who dies because of their crimes.
We all know Angel has his own share of victims and he let that bitch Darla go knowing she would leave a bloody trail of bodies. Hell he fired us because he wanted to go off on some lone wolf crusade. Who does he think took care of Cordy and the visions then? And if that ain’t enough, his bitch shows up wanting to drop her load on our doorstep.
Well it’s his doorstep but we work there. Angel did ask us to come back to the hotel. Poor Cordy, because of the visions she thinks she’s saddled with that undead bastard and now the visions are in 3D. Cordy don’t need Angel or The Powers.
Twice he’s left us on our own with the visions and we did just fine both times. I don’t know what that vamp is talkin’ about, his woman, but I know one thing; Wes is gonna find out and he better do it quick. That vamp better back off from Cordy or I’m gonna be all over his business.
I don’t give a rat’s ass if Angel does have some creepy notion that Cordy belongs with him that vamp better leave our girl the hell alone.
*Angel*
They’re probably thinking it’s just like last time; the vamp’s going off the deep end again. Hell they’ll probably start packing up the office as soon as we get back, thinking I’m gonna fire them again. I’ve been so careful about keeping my temper in check and not to overreact. Now in one night I’ve wiped out a year’s worth of proving they can trust me.
If Gunn had not been so insistent that I not see Cordy I wouldn’t have threatened him like that.
His girl…why the hell would he think Cordy is his girl? Cordy is my… Cordy, God if she didn’t already hate me she’ll hate me after they tell her what I did and I know Gunn will tell her first chance he gets. Well I’ll just have to get to her first and explain my side. My side, what the hell is my side? I was jealous.
Cordy let Wes touch her but not me. Gunn called her his girl and the truth is she probably considers herself more Gunn’s girl than mine.
Hell he’s never threatened her, he didn’t abandon her. Hell him and Wes took care of her while I was chasing and…fucking Darla. “Cordelia Chase don’t belong to nobody, especially some evil-ass, two-timin’ vampire.” I can’t think about that right now. I’ll just go crazy again and we all know things don’t go well when I go crazy.
What the hell is going on with the visions? Why would The Powers think this was a good trade for the killer visions? She won’t die but she’ll be insane? Why the hell would those arrogant bastards think that was an acceptable trade? I’ve got to get in to see The Powers. They talked to Cordy so they can talk to me.
Hell I’m their champion. Well maybe; for all I know they haven’t actually accepted me back since my trip to the dark side and they did refuse to see me when Cordy was in a coma on her birthday. What if they send Cordy another champion? Maybe they’re just waiting to see if she can handle this demon thing with the visions.
I’ve got to convince them to talk to me. I know I should regret the things I’ve done tonight. I was consumed with need for Cordy, I threatened Gunn in no uncertain terms and I would have killed that bastard rapist if the police hadn’t arrived when they did.
I know I should regret it all and I probably will tomorrow but right now, it feels good. Fuck this, I’m so fuckin’ tired of being afraid all the time; afraid I’ll fail Connor, afraid that Cordy will leave me. Screw The Powers and screw the mission, if Cordy doesn’t have the visions for me then Cordy doesn’t have the visions at all. I just need to make sure The Powers have a clear understanding that I will not be replaced.
It’s been so long since I’ve allowed my feelings, my wants, my needs to be revealed but tonight I did and it feels good. If feels damn good. The only thing needed to make this night perfect is to return to the hotel, tell everyone to get out and take my woman to my bed and show her who she belongs to. Cordy would see it as force.
There’s nothing wrong with a little force, just to get things started. Once she submits it’s no longer force; it’s just me taking what’s mine. That’s what I want to do, that’s what I need to do but I won’t…not yet.
***
Fred heard the car and then the muffled sound of three voices just outside the main entrance. She glanced nervously up the stairs hoping to see Lorne on his way back down.
He had gone upstairs to check on Connor a good ten minutes earlier and Fred couldn’t understand why it would take a person so long to decided if a baby was asleep or not. She didn’t want to be the only one in the lobby when the troops returned because that would mean she’d be the only one available when Angel asked where Cordy was.
Fred had witnessed the violence Angel was capable of when the evils they fight had threatened Cordelia but until today, she had not seen that violence directed at a member of his own team. She had blamed the vampire’s barbaric behavior in Pylea on the influences of the alternate dimension. His erratic behavior after Darla showed up had been passed off as shock from finding out he was to be a father.
When he had ordered anyone having a problem with the pregnant Darla to leave his hotel she had accepted it as overstated concern for his unborn child and the well-being of the child’s mother. After his run-in with Gunn, Fred Burkle wasn’t so sure that Angel’s violent temper was dependent on anything other than being told no.
“How’s Cordy?”
“She’s good-I’m good-you good Angel-how about you guys-you good?”
“Yea girl we’re good, just dandy.” Gunn backed away from Fred and Angel motioning for Wesley to join him. He whispered to his partner wanting to avoid detection from the edgy vampire or the chattering girl. “Damn Wes, the psycho vamp’s rampage just set back Fred about six months. She’s all loony again.”
Wesley glanced at the small framed, young woman noticing the quiver of her upper lip. “Gunn please, she’s just a little…nervous.”
“Nervous? Lets hope she don’t go talkin’ to the bushes again. You know how the bush thing freaked Cordy out.”
“Yes I remember and we’ll discuss it later. Right now we need to determine where Cordelia is before Angel gets upset again. I for one am too tired to take down a charging vampire for a second time tonight.”
Angel couldn’t detect Cordelia’s presence in the hotel and Fred’s avoidance in giving him a straight answer only made his tense muscles tighten even more. “Did Cordy go upstairs? Is she with Connor?”
“Connor’s asleep, Lorne’s with him.”
“Fred…where…is…Cordy?”
“She went home.”
“You let her leave…alone?”
“She’s not alone…uh…Jack took her home…they have a…a…he’s staying with her.” Lorne coming down the stairs was too little comfort too late for Fred. She had been the one left on her own to give the angry vampire the unpleasant news while Lorne had been upstairs in the relative safety of Connor’s presence and Wes and Gunn had been loitering in the corner whispering about some bush that was bothering Cordy. “Wesley, Cordy wants you to call and let her know everything’s alright. Everything is alright isn’t it?”
“Yes, everything is fine Fred. The young woman is safe and the culprit is in custody. The police seem to think we may have caught a serial rapist they’ve been after for months.”
“Well that’s good isn’t it Angel? Angel?”
“He went upstairs sweetums. The big guy just needs some alone time.”
***
Well Angel, just another one of those damn consequences coming back to bite you on the ass. You threw them out and the magnificent Jack Stone and his big investigation firm came swooping in to help them take care of the visions. The visions that were meant for you, only you thought destroying Wolfram and Hart, destroying Darla and Dru was more important than the visions and you told her just that; didn’t you? “You go help him. I’ve got more important things to do.” Stupid, Stupid…Idiot.
I’ve got to stop dwelling on the past. I can’t change what’s already happened. I’ve got to focus on the here and now. So Cordy is spending time with this guy. OK, I can accept that for now. Well I have to; I can’t kill him…not yet. He hasn’t made love to her; I would have smelled him on her. There has been some touching but not much. They’ve known each other for over a year and if there’s still no intimacy that means Cordy isn’t in love with him. She might care for him, she might even love him but she’s not in love with him. Cordy’s not going to settle for just sex, relationships are too important to her.
She was a virgin when that slime bag Wilson Christopher took advantage of her and she hasn’t been with a man since, not even that pig boy in Pylea. She probably hasn’t been able to trust a man enough yet. Well I certainly contributed my part to her trust issues. Between Xander Harris, Wilson Christopher and me she could be scarred for life. Maybe I could kill them, I doubt Cordy would really care even if she did find out.
Maybe a little about the Harris boy but not a lot. I’ve got to take my mind off Cordy and sex and killing. I need a cold show…
“I see you didn’t waste any time stepping onto the brood stage. Angel we’ve been over this, brooding and keeping your feelings to yourself is what got you in this mess. Instead of the pity party how about we concentrate on what you can do to fix this latest set back.”
“Set back? I know you don’t see this as merely a set back Lorne. If you did you would’ve called me some pastry name instead of Angel.”
“Let’s face the easy revelations first big guy. The name Angel oozes about as much macho as cream puff. OK peach strudel let’s move on to lifting your droopy spirits.”
“Lorne don’t make me squeeze the life out of you. You’re the only friend I have left. Even Fred is afraid of me since I threatened Gunn. I don’t want to destroy the last friendship I have in LA.”
“Well then you just hang on to that thought whenever the primal urge to maim and mutilate rears its ugly head. OK big guy so you didn’t know about a particular demon aspect your girl was experiencing with the visions, neither did anyone else besides our head honcho. Why does that have you so down?”
“It’s not just that Lorne. When I tried to comfort her, you would have thought I was the bastard trying to hurt her. She couldn’t stand the thought of me touching her. She’s still afraid of me… “Don’t make me move you.” …I threatened her during my dark time.”
“It was beige not dark and Cordelia’s reaction to you today was completely understandable. The experience was very traumatic for her. It was perfectly normal for her to be repulsed by any male figure.”
“She wasn’t repulsed by Wesley. She let Wesley touch her. She let Wesley take her into the office, where they were alone with the door closed. Why is that Lorne?”
“That’s different, it was Wesley and…” Lorne stopped talking seeing the confusion firmly settle in Angel’s eyes. With an inward sigh, he wondered if whoever thought it was easier working with a clean slate had ever met the clueless, big lug he had to work with. “It’s good fate saw fit to bless you with all the muscle and brawn big guy but it might have been nice if they had dispensed a little more even mix with other attributes.”
“Huh? Does that have something to do with Wesley? What are you trying to say?”
“No, just thinking out loud big guy. Now about Wesley and how he relates to your girl. Cordelia’s relationship with Wesley has developed over time. And yes, there’s no need denying that your little side trip of the evil blonde kind didn’t take their relationship to a whole new level thereby strengthening the trust they already shared, but that aside, they already had a unique friendship that works for them. They trust and depend on each other and they’ve never failed one another. It’s perfectly natural for Cordelia to turn to Wesley at a time any other man gives her the heebie geebies. In Wesley, Cordelia sees a friend first then a man.”
“So you’re saying Cordelia turned to Wesley out of friendship and trust.”
“Exactly. By George I think he’s got it.”
“But she can’t trust me. She doesn’t see a friend when she looks at me.”
“I always did hate cramming the night before a big test. Angel listen to me, Wesley is Cordelia’s girlfriend.” Loren emphasized the word using his fingers to put quotation marks in the air. “There will always be things she will tell him that she won’t tell you. And that has nothing to do with all the crap you’ve unloaded on her. You’ll never be the one she’s having late night, secret sharing sleepovers with. You’re the sexy; I want him bad secret she’ll be telling her girlfriend about.”
“Oh.” A grin began to form as Lorne’s words seeped into Angel’s underused brain cells. “OOH.”
“Yes ma, our boy will graduate!”
“Lorne.” The name spurted from Angel’s tight pressed lips like a hiss of steam. “I may not be Wesley smart, hell I may not even be Fred smart but…but…I can hold my own with Gunn.”
“Of course you can big guy. No argument there.”
“What about that weasel Jack Stone?”
“Weasel, ay. Well Angel I’ve got to be honest with you, weasel doesn’t come to mind when I think of Jack Stone. The truth is he’s a good guy and he helped your friends when you weren’t treating them like friends.” Lorne heard the low growl Angel attempted to stifle in his throat. “OK big guy lets not forget that little didley, I’m all you got. Sometimes the truth hurts and the truth is your girl and her loyal posse would have been way over their heads in a really bad way if Jack Stone had not stepped in. I know it’s hard to accept but riddle me this sweet cheeks; wouldn’t it be harder to be grieving her loss instead?”
“What the hell are you talking about Lorne?”
“Easy Angel, all I’m saying is that Jack and his team were there when your friends were definitely out numbered in the muscles category and like it or not, the truth is they likely wouldn’t have survived the odds without his help.”
“What is he, superman swooping down to help the helpless? So I’m a selfish bastard and this Jack Stone is a saint who helps others while asking for nothing in return?”
“Angel would it kill you to work the brain muscles occasionally and give the abs a rest?”
“What?”
“What?” Lorne mimicked in a whiny tone ignoring Angel’s irritation. “Yes, he’s a good guy, but he is a man. A man that has an appreciative eye for a beautiful woman. Jack’s no fool Angel, he saw Cordelia, he wanted Cordelia and he knew the way to Cordelia’s heart. And you my high-o-silver, lone ranger want-a-be that thought your friends would be safer fighting the big bad evil in the visions alone instead of working with you were nowhere around while Jack was finding his way into that big, beautiful heart.”
“Lorne, I was on a mission. It was my job to destroy Wolfram and Hart.”
“We’ve done this dialogue already big guy and got to tell you it’s way past snoozeville. I remember you coming into my club demanding information about the Senior Partners because it was your destiny to destroy them. I believe that was right around the time you manhandled the little woman demanding a book. I told you then and I’m telling you now, that wasn’t your destiny; never was. In fact you had moved so far from your destiny I wasn’t even reading any destinies that featured you as a player, well not as one of the good guys anyway.”
“That’s not fair Lorne. How was I supposed to fight the evil for The Powers unless I destroyed Darla and Drusilla? How could it be wrong to focus my efforts on taking down Wolfram and Hart?”
“News flash dark avenger, no key player for evil died during your lone ranger stint but you have stumbled onto some really good questions champ. Another news flash for you, the answers are more important than the questions. So the million dollar question Angel; have you found the answers?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know, I was wrong, you do need to brood. You need to sit in the dark and brood long and hard Angel because until you find those answers nothing else you do really matters.”
“Lorne?”
“I’ll help you get started big guy. Your seer made you a promise and whether you deserve it or not she’s still keeping that promise. While you’re brooding and pondering, ponder this; what did you promise her?”