Part 2
In all his years Angel had never felt this nervous. He wasn’t accustomed to the feeling, powerful, yes, malevolently evil, sure, guilty, this is Angel we’re talking about. But nervous…not so much. Back in the day he and Darla had cut a bloody path through Europe, he’d destroyed families, brought entire towns to their knees with fear, revelled in pain and bathed in blood. He’d seen everything, done everything…but the sight of Cordelia Chase sitting with her hands clenched in her lap on his bed was by far the most terrifying thing he’d ever witnessed. Silence reigned supreme in the dimly lit bedroom, only interrupted by the occasional click click of the brunette’s nails tapping sporadically against each other. Angel watched as she skittered her gaze around the room as though it were the first time she’d ever stepped foot in here, he could practically see the waves of nervousness radiating off her body, it should have made him feel a little better that he wasn’t alone with his nerves but it really didn’t.
God, she looks so tired Angel thought guiltily as he watched her fiddle with her rings on her right hand. He remembered the Cordelia Chase that had lived a carefree life in Sunnydale, all lipstick and false smiles, cutting put downs and dismissive glares, his best friend still had the edge that made her who she was but now it was softened by a heart that kept them all safe and warm. The carefree girl had grown to be a woman that none of them could bare to be with out…but she was dying. They’d unknowingly been losing her with every soul they saved and it hurt Angel to his very core that they hadn’t noticed the full extent of her pain. They should have seen what the visions were doing to her, maybe if they had then it wouldn’t have gone this far. Maybe there wouldn’t be dark circles beneath her eyes, maybe the flame inside her that had once lit up their world wouldn’t be slowly dimming, maybe….
There were too many maybes for Angel to handle, followed closely by the shoulds. They should have known, she should have told them. But shoulds weren’t going to keep Cordelia alive and with her family.
But Angel could.
And he felt more nervous than a pimply sixteen year old kid.
“Angel stop staring at me, it’s starting to freak me out.” Cordelia snapped at him as she shifted on the bed, her body so tense it looked as though even the gentlest breeze could snap her in two.
“Sorry.” Angel said contritely but didn’t pull her gaze away for her.
“We should just get this over with, I don’t intend on sitting here in silence all day, it’s Sunday, my day off. I have things to do.” The brunette said with forced causality as she tossed her short hair over her shoulder.
“So do I.” Angel said just so there wouldn’t be that dreadful loaded silence in the room again. It was surely a red letter day, Angel the king of uncomfortable silences filling the gaps.
“I’m sorry, am I cutting into your sitting in the shadows brooding time?” Cordelia tilted her head as she spoke to him, a slight smile gracing her lips.
“You are, it’s vexing.” Angel felt the corners of his mouth tugging up into a smile that only his best friend managed to elicit from him.
“Well, this is going to be difficult to do with you all the way over there and me all the way over here.” She nodded for him to come sit next to her and Angel wondered if maybe she wasn’t as nervous about this as she seemed, which of course made him even more nervous and the thought suddenly dawned on him that he might not actually be able to do this.
Oh god, Angel thought, his very male ego panicking, what if I can’t…can’t….
“Angel, stop thinking and come sit down, your making me crazy standing over there looking like you’re doing long division in your head.” Cordelia wrenched him out of his thoughts and for that he was grateful. There was no point worrying about that until it came up. Or didn’t come up as the case may be. Angel swallowed heavily and made his way across the room to where she was sitting on his bed, fingers back to being clenched in her lap, her knuckles white and her back rigid.
OK, so maybe Cordelia was just as nervous as he was.
“Should we get undressed?” Cordelia blurted out, scared of that damn silence that was threatening to envelop the world once again.
“That’s usually how this goes.” Angel said hesitantly, desperately trying not to figit.
“OK. Go on then.” She nudged his shoulder with her finger, her eyebrows raised expectantly.
“Why do I have to go first?” Angel groused like a petulant child just told to go to bed when the sun was still out.
“Because you’re the man.” Cordelia rolled her eyes at him, her words slow and patronising, as though he were the only person on earth that wasn’t aware of this piece of before sex etiquette.
“Why does that make a difference?” The vampire frowned, trying to find some hidden reason why he had to be naked first. Was this some sort of sex fine print that had happened to allude his two hundred and forty six years of experience.
“It just does.”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Why does it matter? I’ve seen you pretty much naked before anyway.” Cordelia said, shrugged and stared at her nails.
“What? When?!”
“Er, hello? We lived together for three months, you were forever flouncing around my apartment in a towel and little else. I think you have an exhibitionist streak, which is kinda odd when you think about how much black you wear.” Cordelia said thoughtfully as she momentarily attempted to unravel that conundrum that was Angel.
“I do not flounce!” Angel yelped indignantly.
“Oh there was definite flouncing.” She scoffed.
“You tell me an exact time I flounced and I’ll get naked right now.” He crossed his arms over his chest defiantly.
“OK, how about the time after that demon with the strange purple flappy thing on his chin stabbed you in the thigh?”
“The Gorfack?” Angel’s brow furrowed as he tried to remember the demon in question.
“That’s the one.” Cordelia nodded.
“That wasn’t flouncing, I was in pain. That was me struggling to walk.” Angel nodded smugly. That wasn’t flouncing. He didn’t flounce.
“Uh huh, if you say so.” Cordelia said, her tone dripping with disbelief. “Look, strip down to your underwear at least.”
“I can’t do that.” The vampire shook his head.
“Why not?” The brunette said with exasperation.
“Because I’m not wearing underwear.”
“Oh.” Cordelia blinked, lost for words for a moment. “Dammit Angel why can’t you just wear boxers like every other man on the planet?”
“I’m not every other man.”
“Isn’t that glaringly obvious.” She muttered under breath.
“Are we gonna sit here all day bickering or are we gonna have sex?” Angel sighed and rubbed his hand over his eyes, it was around then that the reality of the situation really kicked in.
And yep, there was that silence again, it pressed in on the walls and forced the two friends to quickly look away from each other. Cordelia pressed the non existent creases out of her pants while Angel leant his elbows on his knees and found an interesting patch of wall paper to stare at.
“Never thought I’d hear either of us say that.” Cordelia said quietly, her voice barely a whisper in the horribly loud silence.
“Weird huh?” The vampire cocked his head to look at her.
“Very.” She nodded vehemently.
Oh god, the silence. Cordelia had a feeling that it was about to take corporeal form and start pointing and laughing at them, but that was probably the vision hangover at work. She squeezed her eyes shut and wished she’d taken another pain killer before they’d come up stairs and walked in the lesser known awkward circle of hell.
“At this rate the visions are gonna kill me before we’re even naked.” Cordelia chuckled and rubbed the tense muscles in her neck.
“Don’t say that. You’re not going to die.” Angel growled and stood up, the urge to pace almost overwhelming. Cordelia wasn’t going to die goddammit, she was going to live a long and ridiculous life and Angel would do everything in his power to make sure of that.
“Lighten up Angel, I was only joking.” Cordelia frowned at the vampires reaction.
“We don’t joke about you dying. It’s not…just don’t.” He muttered and unbuttoned his shirt, he shrugged it off and threw it across the room so it landed on his leather chair.
“OK, OK. No more gallows humour, I swear.” She crossed her heart and let a small smile tug at the corners of her mouth. “It got you to take your top off though, didn’t it?”
“And yet you’re still fully clothed.” Angel arched an eyebrow at her.
“Fine, turn around.” She stood up and fingered the buttons of her shirt.
“I’m gonna see you naked sooner or later Cordy, we may as well get it out of the way.”
“Ah, the romance.” Cordelia faked a swoon then rolled her eyes at him. “Turn around or I’ll start cracking the morbid jokes again.” Angel turned his back on her muttering under his breath and shaking his head. Taking a deep calming breath that she knew the vampire would hear but did it anyway Cordelia unbuttoned her white shirt and folded it neatly, unconsciously stalling for time. Angel could hear her heart beating loudly in her chest and a pang of guilt shot through him.
Cordelia Chase was a beautiful young intelligent woman…and she had to have sex with a vampire to stop herself from dying.
It just wasn’t right.
“You OK?” Angel asked keeping his eyes glued to the wall.
“I’m fine.” She said automatically making Angel clench his jaw in annoyance, but he didn’t scold her for untruthful response, they were both uncomfortable enough already. Cordelia stepped out of her jeans and laid them next to her shirt, blinking away the slight dizziness that fogged her sight as the remnants of this mornings vision continued to torment her. She smoothed her hands over her hair and adjusted her bra out of habit. She could do this. It was do or die. She trusted Angel. He was her best friend. He was her best friend!
Cordelia swallowed down the nervous laughter that threatened to spill from her mouth and quickly slipped into the vampires bed, pulling the cranberry sheet modestly over her breasts.
“OK, you can turn around now.” Cordelia cleared her throat and wanted to hide under the bed.
“I think we should put an embargo on ‘I’m fine‘s, it’s a lie and it irritates me.” Angel muttered as he made his way across the room.
“Oh quit whining and get into bed.” She rolled her eyes at him in exasperation.
“Have you ever wondered why you’re single?” The vampire said as he unbuckled his belt and let it fall to the floor.
“Oh you did not just go there!” Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him, not noticing that Angel had taken off his belt and unbuttoned his pants, to preoccupied with her indignant outrage to realise he was now very naked and slipping quickly into bed beside her.
“I’m pretty sure I didn’t.” Angel smiled crookedly at her, an apology in his eyes.
“Wise man.” Cordelia flicked her hair over her shoulder but stopped mid huff. “You’re naked.” She said as though she weren’t expecting it.
“Yes, yes I am.” He nodded slowly.
“Oh. You distracted me with that single comment didn’t you?”
“Distract the mark, it’s the golden rule of being a vampire.”
“Huh. I thought it was kill everything with a pulse and bathe in the blood of the innocent?”
“Well, that too.” The vampire shrugged and fiddled with the sheet covering his waist. They could do this, they had to do this. But it wasn’t going to happened with Cordelia as tense as a two by four. “You need to relax.”
“I’m relaxed. I am the definition of relaxed, if I were any more relaxed I’d be-”
“Cordy, shut up and lay down.”
“Why?”
“For once will you please just do as I say.” Angel sighed, his nerves beginning to become frayed around the edges.
“There’s that tone again.” Cordelia huffed but did as he said any way. “Now what?”
“Why am I in charge here?” Angel shifted down next to her, propping his head up on his hand.
“Because you’re the man.”
“The Pankhurst sisters are rolling in their graves as you speak.” The vampire muttered as he grasped the bed sheet Cordelia was holding as though it were a life line.
“What are you doing?” She said as Angel slid the material out of her fingers, slowly slipping it down her chest until it was resting just above the line of her panties.
“Trying to get this started.” Angel told her. Cordelia’s neck was flushed with pink embarrassment and he wished he could say something to make her comfortable.
“Do you trust me?” He asked as he brushed an errant strand of chocolate hair away from her forehead.
“You know I do.” Cordelia said as she fought the desire to cover her self up, but Angel wasn’t staring at her lace covered breasts like most men would, his eyes never deviated from hers and Cordelia realised this would be OK because it was Angel, her best friend, she trust him. It would be OK, awkward as hell, but OK nonetheless. Angel swallowed heavily and Cordelia watched the bump of his Adam’s apple bob up and down. Her eyes widened as she realised the vampire’s face was gradually inching closer to her, she found herself closing her eyes in anticipation of his kiss but as she felt his cool breath against her lips Cordelia was struck by a sudden thought.
“Wait.” She halted Angel with a hand on his chest.
“OK.” The vampire pulled back, more than just a little relieved.
“I don’t think we should kiss.”
“You don’t?”
“It seems kinda personal, don’tcha think?” Cordelia scrunched up her nose and shifted to get more comfortable in the bed.
“You are aware we’re about to have sex aren’t you?” Angel narrowed his eyes at her.
“What I mean is kissing…it’s a couply thing and we’re not a couple.” Cordelia ignored his facetious remark.
“True.”
“So no kissing on the mouth.”
“Fair enough.”
Which was all fine and dandy but now they were stuck in that debilitating silence again with no way of gradually easing themselves in to sex.
“Well we need to start this some how.” Cordelia muttered and grasped Angel’s hand, placing it to both their surprise on her right breast.
“That works.” Angel said dumbly, for the first time looking at her white cotton covered chest as though he’d never seen anything like it before.
“They’re called breasts Angel.” The brunette rolled her eyes trying to stave off the shock of what she’d just done. Cordelia was no prude but Angel’s hand was on her breast and she was sure the earth was going to open up and swallow her any moment now.
“I’m aware of that, it’s just…they’re your breasts. Cordelia breasts.”
“As opposed to Fred breasts?”
“Cordelia breasts are completely different to Fred breasts.”
“Why?”
“There’s more of them for a start.” Angel said thoughtfully.
“I can’t believe you just said that.” The brunette snorted with laughter and the tension slowly began to dissipate in her body.
“Nor can I actually.” The vampire grinned crookedly, glad to see her smiling. That was until his thumb moved of it’s own accord across Cordelia’s breast, puckering her cotton encased nipple to a peak.
“Oh.” Was all Cordelia could think of to say because even though it was Angel her body still responded to the intimate touch.
“Is this OK?” Angel asked her as his thumb continued to blaze a lazy trail.
“Uh huh.” Cordelia nodded, swallowing heavily as his cool finger tips skirted over the edge of her bra and met the warm flesh of the top of her breast. He slowly ran his hand over the ridge of her collar bone, dipping his thumb into soft valley of her clavicle then up her flushed neck. Angel could feel the beat of her blood beneath her skin and for a moment the demon in him struggled for power, the vampire battened it down easily because this was Cordelia and she needed him. Angel ran his fingers through her thick hair as Cordelia watched him with wide eyes, the dimly lit room heavy with a different silence than before, only broken by Cordelia’s shallow breathing. A spell was weaving itself through the room as the vampire brushed his knuckles softly down the swell of her breasts, Angel had never touched her like this before and he felt as though he were learning the real Cordelia Chase for the first time, soft and gentle, a woman that had-
“Are you….” Cordelia said suddenly and they both watched as the spell dissolve into a million pieces. The brunette could have kicked herself for opening her mouth just as it looked like it was about to go somewhere but the words were out there now and had to be dealt with.
“Am I what?” Angel frowned at her half asked question.
“You know….” Cordelia wiggled her eyebrows and gestured with her eyes in the direction of his lap.
“Huh?”
“You know!”
“I really don’t.” The corner of the vampire’s lip twitched upwards in confusion.
“Are you…hard?” She forced out the last word much to both their dismay.
“Cordelia I can’t just will it to attention.” Angel raised an eyebrow at her wondering for the millionth time since she’d barrelled into his life how exactly this woman’s mind worked.
“Are you sure you’re not a-”
“I’m not a eunuch!” He cut off her sentence before she could finish it, yeah, the mood was definitely gone now. Angel sighed and flopped onto his back, this was getting ridiculous.
“Well there’s no need to get testy. I thought vampire’s were meant to be good at this.” Cordelia said, propping herself up on her elbows.
“We are but in case you haven’t noticed this is strange and awkward and I’m under a little pressure here and you’ve managed to trample what little was left of my confidence and ego.” The vampire grumpily told the ceiling.
“Well now I feel bad.” The brunette frowned and bit her lip. “I’m sorry Angel, this is just….” Cordelia trailed off unsure of what she was trying to say.
“It’s us.”
“Exactly.” She nodded, relieved that he understood without her having to explain in detail.
“And we don’t do this.”
“This is what I’m saying.”
“But we have to.” Angel said gravely and sat back up. “I will do whatever you need me to do Cordy because I can’t lose you. I will not let you die because of the visions, I just won’t. So we’re going to have sex, we might not want to but we’re going to do it anyway, so suck it up Chase and get on your back.”
“Wow, you’re a real sweet talker.” Cordelia laughed despite the gravity of Angel’s words.
“I’m one of the best.” The vampire said dryly as she slid back down onto her back.
“Well that remains to be seen.”
“Shut up and close your eyes.” Angel rolled his eyes in a very Cordelia-like fashion.
“You’re not gonna wet willy me are you?” Cordelia shut one eye, watching him suspiciously out of the other.
“Cordelia.”
“OK, OK, I’m closing my eyes, I’m quiet, I’m about to have sex with my best friend and I have the sudden urge to laugh hysterically.” She said evenly as she just concentrated on breathing and nothing else, she didn’t see the loving smile that graced Angel’s usually unreadable face. Cordelia infuriated him, irritated and annoyed him like no other person on the planet ever could…but she was Cordy, his best friend, and he was going to stop her from dying even if he had to tie her up and gag her.
The demon in him liked that idea probably a little too much.
“Now just relax Cordy.” Angel’s voice dropped to the low timbre that he knew from experience had a favourable affect on women.
“Is that your sexy voice?” Cordelia’s lips twitched as she tried not to laugh.
“You wanna hear my if you don’t shut up you’re gonna get a spanking voice?”
“Lets get the sex out of the way first.” She said with her eyes firmly closed, slightly disturbed that she appeared to be flirting with him. Anything else she was about to say died in her throat as she felt soft glide of cool lips travel across her collar bone, in fact she appeared to have stopped breathing altogether.
“Relax.” She heard Angel whisper into her ear as he nipped at her earlobe. She startled slightly when the vampire’s hand settled on her waist, his thumb drawing soothing circles against her skin as he ran his tongue down the valley of her breasts. Cordelia shivered at the sensation, feeling goose bumps she didn’t think would prickle her skin break out across her body.
“Cordy?” Angel murmured softly as he peppered the slope of her cleavage with light kisses.
“Yeah?” Cordelia said, her voice wavering with uncertainty.
“We can stop anytime you want, OK?” The vampire reassured her.
“OK.” She nodded, glad she had her eyes closed because she wasn’t sure she could look at Angel right now as he continued mapping her body with kisses, trying to ease her nerves even as his refused to leave him. Angel took a deep unneeded breath and pressed his cheek against her heart, inhaling the familiar scent of everything that was Cordelia into his lungs.
He couldn’t lose her, not again.
With a confidence he thought he’s lost the moment they stepped into his bedroom Angel began to show his best friend how important she was to him, his hands running up and down her ribs as his teeth grazed over the material of her bra. He heard Cordelia’s breath hitch in her throat but she made no move to stop his gentle teasing so Angel took that as a good sign. Cordelia was on the verge of either jumping off the bed and running away as fast as she could or moaning as Angel’s tongue and teeth worshipped her breasts, embarrassed that her body was responding to his ministrations but not enough to get him to stop.
Her eyes flew open though when she felt the straps of her bra being pulled down.
“Do you trust me?” Angel asked her again as his eyes held hers.
“Without a doubt.” Cordelia managed to find her voice.
“Then let me keep you alive.” The vampire murmured and pressed a kiss to the now naked expanse of her shoulder. Cordelia’s response was to snake her hands behind her back and snap the clasp of her bra, letting Angel slip it from her breasts and dropping it down beside the bed.
Do or die.
“You’re beautiful.” His eyes lingered on her naked flesh for a moment before capturing her gaze again.
“You don’t have to say that.” Cordelia whispered, her voice thick and husky.
“It’s the truth.” Angel wrapped his fingers into her thick hair and tucked it behind her ear. “You’re beautiful Cordy, we don’t tell you that enough.”
“Well that’s true.” She grinned, momentarily forgetting that she was all but naked in bed with a fully naked Angel leaning over her. Screwing her courage to the sticking place Cordelia lifted her hand and ran her fingers over the muscles in his arm, if she’d touched him once she’d touched him a thousand times, friendly hugs, playful punches, too often to bandage wounds…but never like this. The caress of a lover, not a friend. Yet they weren’t lovers, this was just something they had to do and already Cordelia realised this wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d thought it would be.
“Angel?”
“Yes?”
“Is this going to change everything?” Cordelia asked him quietly.
“You’re my best friend Cordy, nothing’s going to change that.” Angel told her even though he wasn’t sure himself.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.” The vampire declared and kissed her forehead with such affection that Cordelia believed him with every ounce of her being. They stood on the line between friendship and lovers and had no choice but to jump across it into the unknown. A moment of understanding passed unspoken between Angel and Cordelia.
Love, friendship, trust and respect. They could do this.
A shaky breath slipped from her mouth as Angel cupped her naked breast, his thumb worrying the small nub into a hard peak. Cordelia’s fingers gripped the corded muscles of his arm as he kissed where her neck met her shoulder, her eyes fluttering shut as she forced herself to stop thinking of Angel as her sexless best friend but as an attractive man that was quickly starting to make her blood hum in her veins. Her back arched instinctively as cool flesh circled her nipple, teeth nipping and tongue soothing in a way that she’d never experienced before.
“I knew you had an oral fixation.” Cordelia chuckled.
“I’m a vampire, it goes with the territory.” Angel grinned into her skin as his hand sneaked down over her flat stomach and rested on her abdomen, his fingers tracing the elastic at the top of her panties. He heard Cordelia swallow loudly, or maybe that was him, he ignored it anyway and spread his hand over her covered mound. Angel fixed his gaze to hers, making sure what he was doing was OK with her, Cordelia saw the question in his eyes and nodded shortly, easing her thighs apart slightly. She hadn’t even realised her legs were locked together so tightly.
“Remember, anytime you want to stop-”
“Shh…I know.” Cordelia hushed him softly and ran her fingers through his spiky hair, surprised that it was soft beneath the palm of her hand and not thick with the gel they all teased him about using. The comforting gesture seemed to relax the tense muscles of his shoulders and she realised that he was just as scared about doing this as she was. Cordelia scratched her nails soothingly over his scalp, smiling as his eyes drifted shut and a low purr rumbled through his chest. She knew Angel thought she was the reason they had to so this but the images of her earlier vision still licked at the corner of her brain and something deep in her bones told her that this was needed as much by him as it was by her.
Angel’s hand began to move as Cordelia massaged his scalp in such a comforting way that any other time it would have been enough to lull him into a dreamless sleep. Any other time when he wasn’t running his fingers up and down the soft skin of where the inside of her thigh met her most intimate flesh.
Do or die.
Cross the line.
The two friends held their collective breath as they watched Angel’s hand move beneath Cordelia’s cotton panties, it was such a surreal sight that it took both the brunettes a second to realise what was happening but when the vampire pressed the flesh of her clitoris underneath his experienced fingers it all became every real.
“Is that OK?” Angel asked her.
“Uh huh.” Cordelia nodded as he slowly began to learn her, she bit her lip and closed her eyes when the thought that this was Angel doing this to here began to seep back into the forefront of her brain, she had to ignore those thoughts and just concentrate on the throbbing feeling building in the base of her belly.
Desire.
Cordelia was quickly becoming aroused by what Angel was doing to her and she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
“You better not be thinking about Jude Law.” Angel muttered with fake annoyance, a laugh bubbled up in her throat but became caught in her mouth when she felt the familiar but foreign feeling of a finger sliding inside her.
“Suddenly not thinking about anything.” Cordelia said through shaky breaths, this wasn’t the same as the solo nights she spent alone with Jude or Brad in her head telling her she was beautiful as she worked her body with lonely desperation. This was terrifying and wonderful and Cordelia had to remind herself that they were doing this because they had to, not because they wanted to.
Angel watched the young woman beside him, her pink cheeks and full lips alive with the beat of her blood. He was speaking the truth when he’d told her she was beautiful but the vampire had never seen her this beautiful before and a part of him was glad that they had to do this so he could witness this side of her. Flushed and naked, unwittingly arousing his demon with just the sight and scent of her.
Well the erection doubts aren’t going to be an issue at least, Angel thought as he buried his face into the crook of her neck, tasting the slightly salty tang that laced her amber skin as all the blood in his body began to head south. A low moan barely left Cordelia’s lips but it echoed in Angel’s ears and the vampire thrust a second finger inside her, his thumb teasing her clitoris and making her hips move jerkily against his hand.
“Oh….” Cordelia gasped softly at the sensation and tightened her grip on Angel’s shoulder. The vampire shifted next to her and Cordelia felt something poking her hip, something foreign and…Oh, she said silently when she figured out what it was. Definetly not a eunuch then. Angel sensed the young woman go still next to him and it wasn’t until he registered warm skin pressing against his erection that the reason dawned on him.
“I um, I….” He stumbled for something to say, it was strange that Angel, with his hand down Cordelia’s panties and his fingers buried inside her slick heat, would be so dreadfully embarrassed that he had a hard on.
“I think I can safely say that I will never call you the ‘e’ word again.” Cordelia teased him, a gruff laugh vibrated through the vampires chest as he leant his forehead against her shoulder, relieved that she didn’t punch him and call him a pervert. Angel dropped a kiss on to the smooth skin beneath his lips as he withdrew his hand from inside her underwear, smirking at the mewl of annoyance that Cordelia didn’t realise she made at the loss of his touch.
“Hey, where are you going?” Cordelia muttered as Angel sat up next to her, trying not to look at how the bed sheet tented in his lap.
“If we’re going to do this then we’re going to do this properly.” Angel said with more authority then he felt, with a flick of his wrist the bed sheet flew from the bed and landed on the floor in a crumpled mess.
“Oh. Well. OK then.” Cordelia swallowed as her gaze became fixed on his manhood. OH. MY. GOD. She panicked silently. I’m looking at Angel’s penis, Angel’s penis is right there. Angel *has* a penis. Dammit Chase stop staring at it like you’ve never seen one before!
“Cordy?” Angel frowned when she’d been silent for longer than was comfortable.
“Huh?” She wrenched her gaze up to his eyes and felt her face burning crimson.
“It’s called a penis Cordelia.” Angel echoed her earlier words, his lips twitching into an smile.
“Ha ha.” The brunette rolled her eyes and forced herself to only look at his left earlobe because anything else was more naked than it had ever been before and it was a little too much for Cordelia’s brain to handle. “We’re naked.” She stated the obvious.
“I am, you’re not.” Angel frowned and both their gazes dropped to her underwear.
“I guess I should….”
“Yeah.”
They continued to stare at the piece of clothing as though it were about to jump up and bite them.
“I can, er, work around them if you want.” The vampire grimaced at his choice of words.
“No, no. You’re naked, it’s only fair that I am too.” Cordelia said diplomatically.
“You don’t-”
“Angel, it’s OK. Like you said, if we’re going to do this, we do it properly.” She took a deep breath and snagged her fingers through the elastic of her panties.
“Wait.” Angel stilled her hands. “Let me.” He untangled moved her hands away and placed the them on the bed at her sides. Cordelia gasped in surprise when Angel pressed a line of kisses along the hem of the white material, biting the flesh of her bottom lip as her nerves began to get the better of her once again. With his eyes never leaving Cordelia’s, Angel slowly pulled down the last vestige of her modesty until as she was finally completely naked before him.
“You OK?” The vampire asked her for what felt like the millionth time that day.
“Truthfully?”
“Of course.”
“I’m kinda scared.” Cordelia scrunched up her nose with equal parts embarrassment and hesitancy.
“That makes two of us.” Angel smiled crookedly at her easing the young woman’s fears with such a simple gesture and six little words. They were naked and about to have sex but they were friends. That’s what mattered.
“C’mon then Romeo, lets get this show on the road.” Cordelia sat up and grasped his hand and tugged him down over her, letting Angel settle between her parted thighs. Angel swallowed the hiss that threatened to fall from his mouth when his hard flesh met Cordelia’s warmth.
“You ready?” The vampire asked her throatily.
“As I’ll ever be.” Cordelia nodded. Angel slid his hands up the outside of her thighs, his chest brushing against her breasts as he positioned himself then rocked his hips into her heated flesh.
“Ow!” The young woman yelped at the thick invasion of her body, every muscle in her body tensing at once.
“Did I hurt you?” Angel instantly went still even though the tight heat he was enveloped in made him want to move.
“No…yes…it’s just a little uncomfortable.” Cordelia grimaced and shifted her hips which almost pushed Angel over the edge.
“Do you want me to-” He cleared his throat and tried to get a hold on his body, but Cordelia was so warm and tight that it made it difficult to think straight.
“Just give me a minute.” She let out a shuddering breath and smiled weakly at Angel. “Sorry, it’s just been a while.”
“Shh….” Angel hushed her. “You have nothing to be sorry for Cordy. Ever.” He rested his forehead against Cordelia’s and matched his unneeded breathing to hers until she calmed to a degree, giving Angel the chance to steady himself.
“So…seen any good movies recently?” Angel asked her when the silence grew to a deafening level, Cordelia laughed loudly, forgetting the slight discomfort and loosening her taut muscles.
“Oh God Angel, did you ever think our lives would be this ridiculous?” Cordelia chuckled, running her hands distractedly over his back.
“My life has always been this ridiculous.” Angel said dryly, a sardonic smile on his lips.
“Well that’s comforting.” She snorted and moved her hips experimentally which made the vampire groan before he could stop himself.
“Cordy, you really need to stop doing that.” He muttered and squeezed his eyes shut. He only had so much control after all.
“I think…” Cordelia moved again, her body growing accustomed to his.
“Sure?” Angel asked her huskily.
“Uh huh.” She nodded still a little unsure but wanting to do this anyway. So slowly that Cordelia was barely aware of it, Angel began to move inside her, small gentle thrusts that let the friends find some sort of mutual rhythm. It wasn’t instinctual, fuelled by breath taking passion and wild abandonment, Cordelia didn’t rake her nails down Angel’s back as he worked her body with languid vigour.
If anything it was a little awkward and jerky.
It was sex, run of the mill, nervous, first time with a new lover, sex.
“Um…” Cordelia wondered how she could say this.
“What’s wrong?”
“This isn’t….” She scrunched up her nose, praying that Angel knew what she was talking about so she wouldn’t have to say Angel, this position really working for me. Thankfully, she didn’t have to.
“It’s not?”
“Not really.”
“OK.” Angel shifted his position above her, angling his hips and hers to where he really hoped it would be better for Cordelia. “How’s this?” He withdrew slightly then drove a little harder into her.
“Ahh…yeah…that works.” Cordelia murmured as Angel hit a sweet spot inside her. As their hips began to work together with an equal rhythm Angel realised to his dismay that he wasn’t going to last very long. If he came before Cordelia did Angel decided he’d stake himself there and then, no questions asked. He tried to push it down and focus on the young woman he was doing this for but when Cordelia squeezed her inner muscles around him Angel knew this was going to be over before it even really started. With this in mind the vampire snaked his hand between them, over Cordelia’s firm belly and through the downy curls that hid her sex, massaging the swollen nub of her clitoris with his thumb.
“Oh….” Cordelia groaned softly as her hips bucked against his, squeezing her eyes shut she concentrated on the tingling sensation fluttering in the base of her belly and nothing else. The brunette began to move with more confidence, searching for something that seemed just out of reach, her fingers biting into his shoulders with his every measured stroke inside her, again and again until her breathing hitched with surprise as a gentle orgasm trickled through her, her fluttering walls pushing Angel over the edge a moment later, coming inside her with a grunt and a sharp jerk of his hips.
***
So….” Angel cleared his throat, darting a look at the still flushed woman laying beside him.
“Uh huh.” Cordelia nodded for no reason, she smoothed her hands over the cranberry bed sheet that was once again draped modestly up over her chest.
“That was….”
“Yep.”
Once Angel had kissed her forehead and withdrew from her settling beside Cordelia as their breathing slowed, the uncomfortable silence that never really seemed to leave crept back into the room joined by the knowledge of what they had just done.
“Was that what you saw in your vision?” The vampire turned his head to look at the brunette who was staring at the ceiling.
“Oh. Yeah. Exactly.” Cordelia nodded unconvincingly.
“Cordy?” Angel admonished her, silently reminding her that they’d promised no more lies.
“OK, fine, no. That wasn’t what was in my vision.” Cordelia admitted hesitantly, unsure of the etiquette for such a conversation.
“Oh.” Angel blinked and went back to staring at the ceiling.
“It was really nice though.” Cordelia grimaced as the expression on the vampires face.
“Nice.” He said the word as though he were trying to understand the meaning of it. “Just nice?”
“We were both nervous and it was our first time, so I think nice is pretty darn good.” She said truthfully, lacing her finger together on her chest.
First time.
First time.
Meaning they were going to have to do this again. And again.
And again because Cordelia would die if they didn’t. A thought struck the two friends at the same time, they were doing this for a reason and through the awkwardness they’d both forgotten it.
“How’s you’re-”
“Gone.” Cordelia answered his question before he even had the chance to ask it. She sat up and shook her head expecting the familiar twangs of pain to shoot through her skull. Nope, nothing. The vision hangover was completely gone.
“Really?” He asked as he dragged himself up beside her, feeling a little better about his performance.
“Not even a twinge!” She beamed and threw her arms around him, hugging him close with a bone deep relief.
“Thank god.” Angel sighed and returned her embrace. She was going to be OK, it worked. Cordelia felt hot tears prickling behind her eyes, she wasn’t going to die. Burying her face into the vampires neck, she let out a long relieved breath that death was no longer nipping at her heels. She was alive, breathing, fit to see another day, she couldn’t remember when the pain in her head had eased, was it when he first touched her, when he was moving inside her? Cordelia had no idea and she didn’t really care because the pain was gone, she didn’t have to be scared any more, she was alive and hugging her naked best friend whom she’d just had sex with.
“I er….” Cordelia untangled herself from Angels arms, tugging the sheet back over her breasts from where it had slipped when she’d launched herself at him.
“Yeah.” Angel cleared his throat and the joy that he felt was quickly tempered by their new friend the crippling silence.
“So….” Cordelia was really beginning to hate that word.
“Uh huh….” Angel nodded.
Oh boy.