Part 4
He should have just gone in.
That’s what she wanted, what she had needed. She wanted to be somewhere familiar, with him, and what did he do? He just left her there protected only by the bodyguards he had outside. No electricity and no phone. She might need help and she wouldn’t even be able to call for it.
He’d stood there for a while and just watched her after he had shut the balcony doors, and had fully intended on staying there until just before sunrise. But when she finally slipped into a peaceful sleep, he had suddenly been unable to look at her. It was too painful, too familiar, too much like the vision she had been for the last four months. So he had left, stealthily leaping from the balcony’s edge and into the L.A. night, leaving her there, in his bed, alone. What an ass.
He should have just gone in.
Angel stopped and leaned against the streetlamp post. It would be light in about an hour. He ran a hand through his hair as Cordy’s words taunted him. ‘..you’re a champion, at least you were.’ He couldn’t understand it. He was being a champion now, her champion by sacrificing everything for her. His soul, the mission, their family, anything and everything to keep her safe. Isn’t that what women dreamed about, some dark hero that would give up everything to make the woman he loved happy. At least that is what he had thought. But Cordy wasn’t happy and she didn’t see him as some legendary hero either. To her he had just become some sellout in a fancy suit. She wanted him back to what he was, but he wasn’t sure he knew how to get there from here. One thing he did know, was that the sacrifices, the deals, the flirtation with his darker self, none of it was worth it if he didn’t have her. He had to get her back, make her see how much he needed her, how much he loved her, but where did he start?
He should have just gone in.
That’s where he could have started. That’s what she was waiting for. She needed him to help her through this, to comfort her and help her accept the way things were, the way they had to be. He looked up at the sky, he needed to get below ground. He scanned the area and found the closest sewer entrance. He hadn’t used them since making the deal with Wolfram and Hart. He’d traded that particular mode of transportation in for sports cars and limos. Maybe he was a sellout.
Angel jumped down the manhole and headed west. He thought about their lives before Holtz, before the Beast, before Jasmine. He thought about Cordy and all the opportunities he had had to be with her, to love her, before his life turned into a literal hell on earth. He thought about all the time he had wasted. He wondered if it was too late. Angel stopped and looked back. He should have gone in. That’s what she wanted. Cordy was giving him an open, telling him exactly what she needed and wanted, a way to prove to her he hadn’t changed too much for her. She was doing what Cordelia Chase did best, fixing his mess of an existence, showing him how to live.
Something crept into his soul, something almost unrecognizable due to its long absence. Hope. He headed east, his pace increasing with each step. The sun was rising now and he wanted to make it back to the hotel before she woke.
***
Spike’s head throbbed. He promised himself that he would remember the feeling the next time he tried to drink away the torturous emotions his soul caused. He tried to lift his head from the table, or open his eyes, but both felt like lead and the cramp in his neck made it all the worse.
“Rise and shine. Time for all formerly evil now questionably good, hung-over vampires with souls to wakey wakey.”
Bugger, that voice was way too chipper to be one of the many that roamed free in his head. He cracked open an eye and tried to focus on the blurry brunette that stood over him.
Cordelia looked down at the vampire, her eyebrows raised as if she expected him to jump at her command.
“Bloody Hell,” he murmured and closed his eye. He couldn’t see her anymore, but he knew she was still there, hovering over him, waiting. Well, she’d just have to wait. He heard her give a little huff and it made him want to smile. Even with a soul, he still found a little pleasure in tormenting people. He heard another huff and then a sizzle. What the… “Ow!” he jumped from the chair and across the room, noticing the small cross that Cordy held out in her hand.
“Sorry, but I told you to get up. You should have listened. Now, we have a lot of work to do and not a lot of time,” she said matter-of-factly as she turned to the door. When she realized that Spike wasn’t following her she turned back around. “Look, I need my family back, but I can’t do it all on my own, you want to find someone you care about but you don’t know where to look. I think I can help you if you’re willing to stay here and help me for a while. Deal?”
Spike took a cautious step forward. “You don’t know where she is.” It wasn’t a question.
“No, you’re right. I don’t. But I have a lot of contacts in this city, or at least I did. And Wesley’s got a whole rolodex in there full of contacts. We’ll find her, it just may take some time, and in the mean while, you can help me get my family back.”
Spike didn’t know what to do. The prospect of finding Buffy filled him with hope, but he knew it couldn’t be as easy and as straight forward as she had put it. And even if they could find her, she may not even want him now, if she ever really did. Well, one thing was for sure. He had no where else to go. “Alright, tell me your plan, but first put down that thing.”
“The cross?” Cordy eyed the religious symbol in her hand. “Oh it stays,” she said as she clasped it around her neck.
“But I’m different now. I told you that last night. Didn’t I?” his memory was a little fuzzy.
“Yeah, you told me.”
“So you know that I’m good, just like Angel. I have a soul, so I won’t hurt you. I can’t,” he said with almost childlike innocence.
Cordelia’s face lost all of it’s forced carefree appearance while the words ’good’ and ’soul’ and ’just like Angel’ played in her mind. She looked at him with a bewildered expression. “You really believe that, don’t you,” she stated as she turned to the door. “You really are new at this redemption thing then.”
***
Fred walked into Angel’s office, where Gunn, Lorne and Wes were already waiting. “He didn’t come back last night, did he?” she asked.
Gunn stared off in thought and shook his head no.
“Well, what are we waiting for?” she looked at each man.
“Puddin’, I’m not so sure any of us are ready. Besides, we know all isn’t too wrong over at the old homestead because Angelcakes called this morning and had the company turn on the phone at the hotel.”
“It has been a long time since we left,” Wes looked up at her with gentle eyes. “I’m not sure any of us can go back there.”
“Yeah, and if the big guys found out about it man. We could get into a shit load of trouble,” Gunn’s eyes seemed to finally join the room.
“I don’t believe you!” Fred shrieked, causing all three men to jump. “I’m sick of doin’ what Wolfram and Hart says and I’m sick of bein’ afraid all the time!” Fred took a cleansing breath as each man in the room stared at her in amazement. “Now, I’m goin’ to get my friend, or at least talk to her or at least find out what happened to her and Angel last night because they could have gotten into trouble or they could have just decided to stay there but none of us will know if one of us doesn‘t get off of his or her … ya‘ know … and go over there and find out. And if you guys want to come along then that’s just fine and if you don’t well that’s just fine too, but I’m goin’ so … bye,” she gave a little wave and walked out the door.
Gunn, Wes, and Lorne looked at each other for less than a second before rushing after her.
***
Spike stared at the folders littering the office floor, trying to soak up Cordelia‘s hurried explanation of how they had experienced their own ‘apocalypse‘ leaving her in a coma for four months and her friends in the clutches of some evil, demonic law firm. “So, I help you run this business, be your muscle so to speak, and you’ll help me find Buffy?”
Buffy. That was the SHE he was talking about. Well, made since in a sort of twisted and perverted way. “So do we have a deal or not?” she was all business.
“Where do you want me to start?” he asked.
“Well, first we have to get in touch with some of our old clients. I’ve started organizing the files, you wouldn’t believe what a mess they were in. You can help me finish that before we start calling anyone.”
Spike picked up the Adams’ file that lay on top of the stack and looked around, finding a spot on the floor with a sticky note that had the letter ‘A’ written on it. He laid the folder down and reached for another.
“What are you doing?” Cordelia looked at him and blinked her eyes in confusion.
“Helping you. Adams, A,” he pointed to the sticky note above the folder he had just laid down.
“The Adams go in the ‘U’ pile,” she explained as if it were common knowledge.
“Oh,” Spike looked at her as if waiting for more. “Why?” he prompted.
“They were the couple we helped with the big ugly house,” she opened the front of the folder and showed him the ‘U’ and the words ‘Ugly House’, both written in red marker across the top of the first page. “See.”
The witty comment that lay on the tip of Spike’s tongue was forgotten when the phone startled them both.
“I didn’t think anything in this place worked.”
“It didn’t, but this morning, when I came in the office to start on the files the phone rang. Scared the crap out of me. It was a Wolfram and Hart secretary making sure the phone company had turned on the line. Per orders of ‘Mr. Angel’”, she finished with contempt at the title. “So I put in a few calls before I woke you up.” She stood and answered the phone on the third ring. “Angel In… I mean …hello. Can I help you?….Yes….Yes we are….No, we’re not operating under that name any longer. We’re under new ownership….it has….Again?….of course. We’ll meet you tonight…..eight o’clock. Thank you Mrs. Sherrill.” Cordelia hung up the phone and smiled at Spike. “Well partner. We have got our first case and it isn’t even seven-thirty yet. I’d say this is going to work.”
“Well that’s just grand and all but you’re forgetting that I’m recovering from a demon of a hangover, pet. I’m not sure I’ll be ready for a fight, if that’s what it’s about.”
“Oh, I forgot about you’re little booze fest last night. Tell ya’ what. You stay here in case we get anymore calls. Write down all the information and tell them I’ll call them back within the hour,” she instructed.
“And just where do you think you’re goin’,” he held out a hand to stop her exit.
“To Frank’s. It’s a butcher shop a couple of miles away. You need some blood, you look like hell.”
“You’re going to go out, in the daytime, and buy blood. Just like that.”
“Don’t tell me you were paying black market prices in Sunnydale. That’s just dumb. Butcher shops practically give it away. No questions asked,” she walked out of the room and shut the office door just as the door to the basement opened. Cordelia was shocked. She knew he would come back, eventually, to either beg or bully her into leaving. She just didn’t expect it to be this soon. She walked toward the basement door, stopping a few feet away from Angel.
He stood in the doorway, too nervous and focused on Cordelia to sense the other vampire. He could do this. He could do this for Cordy. He took a tentative step inside the room.
“Hi,” Cordelia’s heart raced and her stomach filled with thousands of butterflies.
“Hi,” Angel rocked back and forth on his heels. “I came back.”
“So I see,” she had to remain calm. Stick to the plan. He’s got to do it on his own.
“I came home, just like you wanted,” he offered hopefully. Ready for her to fling her arms around him in praise for his attempt.
“So, you don’t work for Wolfram and Hart anymore?” she cocked a questioning brow.
“Well, yes but…”
“Then you’re not home,” she stated coldly.
“Neither are you Cordy. This isn’t home anymore,” he would convince her to leave. If the penthouse was too much they could get her her old apartment back. He could do that.
“Maybe not to you, but for me it is. Don’t worry. I know that you own the hotel and I’m going to pay you rent. That is as long as it’s reasonable. Meaning very, very low.”
“You’re going to pay me rent,” he wanted to laugh. “With what?”
“The income we earn with our paying clients, that’s what,” she said defiantly.
“You’re going to try and run Angel Investigations all alone?” she was just trying to be impossible now.
“No, I’m going to run The Chase and William Agency.”
Just as Cordy had announced the name of her new business Spike opened the office door. “Cordelia, Mr. Smith wants to know if we take Visa or MasterCard.”
Cordelia stared at Angel’s shocked expression, “And I’m not alone.”
She turned and left Angel just inside the lobby, and walked back to the office. She had never even heard the phone ring. She picked up the receiver from the desk and spoke in a professional tone despite the raging emotions that consumed her. “Mr. Smith? We take both actually. No, you don’t need to come in. We’ll meet you tomorrow night….”
Spike still stood in the office doorway, enjoying the pain on Angel’s face. He gave him his best smart ass smile and then slowly shut the door.