Dr. Radcliff glanced up in surprise at the knock at her open door.
“Hi, you don’t probably remember me…,” the beautiful girl started.
“Cordelia, come in,” Dr. Radcliff beckoned to the nervous girl at the doorway. Dr. Radcliff did remember the former patient. Over the last two weeks, she had often wondered how the pretty, but lost young girl was coping. The psychologist studied Cordelia. The doctor had to admit the young girl did look much better than she had when she was in the hospital. Cordelia looked beautiful, healthy and more at peace. The doctor noticed though, that the young girl looked slightly anxious.
“Hi, umm, I guess this is like really close to lunch time, so if you don’t have time, I completely understand,” the young girl babbled. “I am sure you have stuff to do and all.” The young girl hovered at the doorway, indecision apparent in her expression and body language.
Cordelia wasn’t at all sure what had possessed her to stop by the psychologist’s office after her visit to Wesley. She knew that she had to get back to the hotel, she didn’t want to worry Angel. The vampire had been reluctant to let her go to the hospital alone. Over the last couple of weeks, he had barely left her side. But she had yelled, bullied, and pleaded for Angel to let her go alone.
Cordelia needed some time away from the vampire. She needed to figure out why, when she was so happy, that she still felt slight tentacles of unease drift through her subconscious. And she was happy. She and Angel had spent most of the two weeks talking, trying to alleviate each other’s guilt. The first few days was actually kind of silly, playground even despite the heart wrenching subject matter. She would say it was her fault, he would say it wasn’t.
Then he would say it was his fault, then she would say it wasn’t. They had at one point resorted to the childish banter of ‘is not, is to.” But, eventually, they had moved on to their feelings and their love. They each had a better understanding of the other’s actions, they each gave the other forgiveness and accepted responsibility for their own actions where needed.
Cordelia believed Angel when he had said he loved her, she had believed him when he said he would never leave her. The freedom of that the knowledge inspired an intense feeling of joy and hope. But something was still making her insecure and she couldn’t talk to Angel about it, not really. For one, she had a gut feeling that he couldn’t help her with whatever is causing her doubts. And second, more importantly, if she told him she had doubts, he would assume they were about his sincerity and he would either become all broody or over compensate by smothering her with affection, or both.
It wasn’t that Cordelia minded being showered with his affection, she took great pleasure in hearing over and over again that he loved her, but after a while, the lack of a physical outlet for their love became frustrating to both of them. Then they would get all hesitant and uncomfortable for a period of time, while vowing that they would stay apart, but still looking longingly at each other. Stupid curse, Cordelia damned. But as annoying and frustrating as that could be, the ‘happy clause’ was not what was causing her uneasiness or doubts.
“I have a few moments, come in, please.” Dr. Radcliff coaxed the obviously indecisive girl.
Cordelia glanced at the doctor, out to the hall, then stood silently for moment. Suddenly, she moved forward as if an inner decision was confirmed and finalized. Cordelia went straight for the doctor’s chair.
After a few moments of stillness, Dr. Radcliff broke in the silence. “Cordelia, why are you here?”
Cordelia scrunched up her pretty face at the doctor’s question. “I was visiting Wesley,” she answered avoiding the doctor’s true inquiry.
“And how is he?” The doctor asked, giving the young girl a momentary reprieve.
“He is good, but bored. I had to bring a bunch of books and stuff.”
“I am glad to hear that. But, how are you?”
“I’m fine,” the young girl claimed.
“Yes, you look well. But, Cordelia, why are you here in this office,” she specified, hoping that the young girl was ready to admit the reason.
Cordelia bit her lip. “I am fine,” she said again, stalling. Even though, Cordelia had made up her mind to talk to the doctor, it was hard. She hated to talk about her feelings. Now, that she had made her decision, she didn’t know how to start.
“But,” the doctor gently urged.
Cordelia scowled at the doctor. “But, I am scared.” Cordelia blurted out, pushing past her automatic defensive need to keep her feelings contained and hidden.
“Yes,” Cordelia sighed, supplicating to her necessity to talk to the doctor. “I don’t want to ever be in the situation where ending my life is the only option. I want to understand why, now that I’m fine, I’m still scared. I am fine,” she emphasized to the doctor. “The things that had made me so ….upset..before are gone.” She paused, thinking of her role as Angel’s seer and all the evil in the world.
“Or at least they have been put in their proper perspective,” Cordelia added. “And, Angel and I have cleared up the misunderstandings that we had in our relationship. I am happy at where we are. Angel says he loves me….” Cordelia trailed off.
“That doesn’t make you happy?” The doctor asked, watching the confusion settle over the girl’s expression.
“Yes….but.” She tried to focus on her nagging doubts. For some reason, even though she believed Angel, strains of insecurity were still flashing through her mind.
“I love him, I really do. And I do believe he loves me, but…” Cordelia struggled. “I am afraid…”
“What are you afraid of, Cordelia?”
Cordelia grappled with her fears. She closed her eyes pulling her primary dread to the surface. “He will leave me,” Cordelia finally admitted to herself and to the doctor.
“He will?” Dr. Radcliff questioned.
“Yes, everyone that I love leaves me, even when they say they love or care about me, always.” Cordelia said with sad conviction.
“Cordelia, I saw Angel by your side, I saw Wesley and Gunn. They didn’t look like they were going anywhere.”
“I know,” Cordelia slowly smiled. “Aren’t they great?” She paused “But, they will leave me too. It is only a matter of time,” she said with resignation.
That’s it, Cordelia thought to herself that’s why she was having these doubts. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. She was anticipating the time that Angel would leave her. No matter how much the vampire said he loved her, he would go. He wouldn’t have a choice, not really. She always drove away the people that loved her.
“Why do you say that,” the doctor questioned.
Cordelia squirmed in her seat and looked at her watch, this was getting too difficult. She had figured out what was bothering her. The doctor couldn’t make her more lovable, that was just not possible. Cordelia would just have to remember that everyone leaves her and protect herself from the day Angel finally does. Cordelia wanted to get out of there; there was nothing more to be gained by staying. “Isn’t it lunch for you, I am sorry for taking up you time.” Cordelia made to move from the chair.
“Cordelia sit down, you came here for a reason, tell me. Why you are scared, why do you think that Angel will leave you?”
Cordelia stilled in the chair and closed her eyes. Cordelia didn’t see the point of talking to the doctor anymore, but she was there, so she might as well go on. “He has before.” Cordelia said still stalling, avoiding the doctor’s real question and her real answer.
“So you don’t believe him now when he says he loves you.”
“No. I know he loves me.” Cordelia defended. She couldn’t let the doctor think that Angel was insincere or a liar. She paused for a moment, gathering her courage. “But he will leave. Because, even if he loves me, it won’t last. He will leave, like everybody else has, He will realize that I am not deserving of that love. Eventually, they all do.” Cordelia sighed, finally admitting out loud her fatal shortcoming and her undeniable fear.
“Cordelia, who are they?” the doctor asked compassionately, sensing that Cordelia was getting close to the real cause of her fears.
“What?’ Cordelia looked questioningly.
“Cordelia who is the first person that told you that they loved you and would be with you always.”
Cordelia was silent for several minutes. Then with a sad whisper she admitted, “My father.” Tears pooled in her wide hazel eyes.
“And,” the doctor urged quietly.
“And, he left.”
Dr. Radcliff nodded and lifted her phone. “Cordelia, would you like turkey or roast beef,” the doctor asked, knowing that she would listen to the young girl through lunch.
“Oh big guy, come in,” the green demon host said to the vampire standing in the doorway.
Angel walked over to the host’s table. “I ‘m not singing.” He affirmed to the host.
“That’s a relief. Believe me, your not so dulcet tones aren’t not what I exactly crave at the beginning of a lovely new day. Why are you here, it’s daylight?” the green demon raised his eyes at the hesitant vampire.
“I’m not sure. I just needed to get out of the hotel for awhile.” Angel settled uncomfortably in the chair.
“Really, that’s somewhat mindboggling, you know with your hot little seer shacked up there. I don’t know many beings, human or demons that would be willing to leave such a tempting morsel.”
Angel growled at the host’s lurid insinuation about Cordelia.
“Hey, don’t go all demon on me, I’m just making an observation, no touching involved.” The host laughed. “So what’s with all the gloom and doom? Everything should be copasetic. You hit rock bottom, and can I say one thing about that particular crash, Ewww. But, hey big guy, you had your moment of clarity, the big eye opener, that handsome face should be all smiles or at least not so grim. Your soul is sportin’ a complete and healthy new hue. So what’s with the long good looking face? Is it the members of your crew?”
“Not really, Wesley and Gunn are talking to me, you can barely hear the hostility in their voices, now. They have agreed to allow me to help them at Angel Investigations, a probationary period, they called it.” Angel shrugged. “I know I have to re- earn their trust.”
The host nodded. “They will come around. That is if you remain on the good and narrow pathway.” The Host raised his brows at the vampire’s expression. “You have some doubts?”
“I want to, but then again, I wanted to before, but I still managed to screw up.” Angel sighed.
“True. But, big guy, everyone makes mistakes, even gorgeous ensouled vampires. The question is have you learned from yours. Because, they were some doozies packed with morals to be learned.”
“I want to help the helpless.” Angel said with determination. “That’s what matters, the little wins that I can accomplish daily, until I reach my redemption.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty much right. Okay, so it isn’t the ‘not so stiff’ Mr. English, the young macho guy or your path that is giving you that downtrodden look. That means, it must be the ‘crumptious Cordelia. What’s the problem? The sensuous seer is back under your watchful deep brown peepers. I would think that would make you grin, after all she is something to watch over.” The green demon leered.
Angel scowled at the Host’s lecherous tone. “Yes, Cordelia is back. She seems to be better. No, I know she is better. But something is still bothering her. I am afraid she doesn’t quite believe me.” Angel responded giving voice to his real concern.
“She is young and you pulled quite a number on her. But, you say she is back, so I would have to say that she trusts you. The problems that you are sensing may have nothing to do with you. Shocking, I know considering how ‘ooh’ you are, but not everything is about you or something you can fix. I wouldn’t be too concerned, your seer is more than just a lush body and pretty face, she has a brain, she will figure it out.”
“I have to help her. I love her. It’s my responsibility.” Angel declared. Cordelia was his responsibility. It was his job to make sure she was always safe and cared for. He had to make sure that she would never face anything alone, again.
“Yo, big guy, wasn’t it your mono-scopic view of your ‘responsibility’ to the women in your life that blinded you to your path. Wasn’t it your complete focus on your perceived inadequacies and failure’s to save or protect those insipid blondes that allowed you sink into the ultimate self-destruct mode? I think maybe you still have some things to learn about this whole mess.”
“I…” Angel began, trying to put into words his desperate need to always be the one to protect Cordelia, to keep her from worry and pain.
“I, I , I …..Aren’t you being a little arrogant, here? Your seer is one strong, smart good-looking cookie. Trust her. She will survive. She has a big part to play in all of this. The PTB wouldn’t have chosen her if they didn’t think she had it in her.”
“I love her.” Angel repeated, as if to explain his compulsion.
“Yeah, I know, you are gaga over her and she is gaga over you. It’s all really quite annoying, you know. But, hey, she suits you and your soul. Just remember that and everything will work out.”
“We can’t be together, not really.” Angel grumbled. He hated being with Cordelia and not being able to touch her. Everything about Cordelia, her voice, her mannerisms, her soft skin, the shake of her head, her scent beckoned him to make love to her. It was damn frustrating. Angel sighed, however annoying the ‘happy clause’ was,
Angel loved Cordelia and having her in his life was worth all of the aggravation. He wouldn’t run away from her, not like he did with Buffy. Hell, Angel wasn’t even sure that he could leave her, even if he wanted to. Cordelia had inexplicably and firmly wrapped herself around his heart and soul. He truly believed that death would be the only way that he could be separated from her.
“Ah, the hot little number is causing some havoc down below. Completely understandable, she is ‘wow’. Which begs the question, why are you here and not there. I would have thought that you two would be engaging in all sorts of nefarious and exciting acts.”
“I can’t make love to Cordelia.” Angel was surprised and annoyed at the host’s assumption.
“Ewww. Ouch, What’s the problem? Still shell shocked over your last experience?” the host asked understandably. “Don’t worry. Your seer is definitely a better choice than your last foray into all that is conjugal. No, trying to chew off your arm when you wake up with her curled up beside you. Bad one night stand with the fanged blonde aside, I’m still having trouble visualizing your downcast dilemma.”
“My soul,” Angel explained in exasperation.
“What about it? Like I said it has a complete and healthy hue. As in ‘complete’, as in permanent.”
“What?” The host chuckled at the vampire’s stunned expression. “You didn’t think that your epiphany just let you retain your soul, no baby, it gave it to you, big time.”
“Why would the power’s reward me?” Angel asked in wonderment.
“They wouldn’t, not after all the dark escapades you have been engaged in. But, they would reward their link. You know, show their appreciation for all of the hottie’s sacrifices. I think it is rather compassionate of the PTB. Unfortunately, you aren’t even close to being ready for what she truly wants, nor can the Power’s take away all of her fears, but, hey you with a solid type soul is not a bad compromise. She gets you, abet still a vamp, but with no threat of the ‘evil one’ being boinked back into existence. Hey, what’s your hurry,” the demon laughed at the vampire’s rushed departure. “Oh well,” the green host sighed, “Just goes to show you all the good ones are taken, or soon will be,” he added under his breath.
Angel drank in the appearance of his beautiful seer as she walked into the hotel. His mind was in a whirl at the host’s proclamation regarding the permanency of his soul. Angel had left the bar in a mad charge to get back to the hotel, he couldn’t wait to tell Cordelia, to hold her and love her. But now that she was here in front of him, he wasn’t sure how to broach the subject.
He didn’t think that tossing the young girl over his shoulder and rushing her to the bedroom to ravish her was appropriate. Though, it would be satisfying, he thought longing to feel Cordelia’s warm body against his cool one. Desire heated his body as his gaze caressed the body of his seer. All thoughts of lovemaking flew from his mind as Angel’s eyes trailed up to her face and he noticed her somber expression.
“Cordelia?” He questioned worriedly.
Cordelia started. “Oh, hi.” Cordelia hadn’t even sensed the vampire’s presence; her mind had been too busy trying to wrap it’s way around all of the stuff that her impromptu session with Dr. Radcliff had exposed.
“Is it Wesley?” Angel questioned apprehensively taking in her red rimmed eyes.
“Umm, no. He’s good. All bored and complaining. He should be released at the end of the week.” She said distractedly. Her thoughts were still centered on the issue’s Dr. Radcliff brought up about her insecurities regarding her father.
Cordelia had been positive that all of her feelings of rejection and abandonment that her father’s complete lack of participation or care in her childhood had been permanently and utterly smash down. But, obviously not, she inwardly cringed, as she remembered her embarrassing display of tears. She had been blubbering like a baby halfway through her talk with the doctor.
“So, what’s wrong?” Angel was anxious. Cordelia had seemed fine when she had left for the hospital, she had been eager to go visit Wesley and grateful that Angel agreed to let her go alone. But obviously something had happened to upset the young woman and if it wasn’t Wesley, then Angel had no idea what it was and that made him uneasy. Angel knew he shouldn’t have let her go alone.
Cordelia took a deep breath, pushing the thoughts of her father aside. It was apparent that Angel was worried and she didn’t want the vampire upset. “I stopped by Dr. Radcliff’s office. You remember her, not quite the MD of the mind.” Cordelia turned to the vampire. “I just thought maybe I should, I don’t know, talk to her and stuff.”
“Cordelia are you okay?” Angel’s concern was turning into panic. Was whatever bothering her serious enough for her to be contemplating hurting herself again? Why wouldn’t she come to him, if she needed to talk to some one, she had to know that he was there for her, that he would fix whatever was bothering her. Angel tried to calm himself, thinking back to the host’s words. Maybe, this was something he couldn’t fix. What if what was bothering her was him? He thought, his panic turning into fear.
“I am okay,” Cordelia reassured. “We talked. She wants me to come back next week.”
“Are you?” Angel asked trying to push down his anxiety. He needed to focus on the fact that Cordelia had sought out professional help for whatever was still troubling her. While Angel wanted to be the one Cordelia always turned to for help, if he couldn’t be the one, he needed to be grateful that she was taking steps on her own to confront her issues. But, he couldn’t get rid of the dread in the pit of his stomach that he was the one that was still causing Cordelia problems.
“I don’t know.” She answered still remembering how hard it was for her to relinquish her control over her feelings. “It seems I still have issues.” She shrugged.
“With me?” Angel asked, terrified of her answer.
Cordelia smiled as she stared at the vampire. God, Cordelia loved him. It was amazing how just being near him made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The angst that she had felt upon the exploration of her fear and insecurity with the doctor dissipated as she looked at the handsome vampire. She smiled wider as she saw his trepidation at her answer.
Angel was so predictable, she thought. She knew he would think he was somehow the cause of her issues.
“No, it seems that I had issues long before I knew you, just regular, normal stuff, parent/child stuff, nothing at all to do with demons, vampires or death,” she smiled again attempting to ease Angel’s mind.
Angel frowned. If what was still bothering Cordelia was related to her relationship with her parents, than he couldn’t help her. His own relationship with his father had been problematic at best, depressingly destructive at worse. Angel was so intent on old memories that he almost missed Cordelia next statement.
“Well, actually, there is one issue that directly relates to you, but Dr. Radcliff can’t help with that one, nobody can.” Cordelia wasn’t able to completely hide her frustration from the teasing tone of her voice.
“What?” he answered. Angel cleared his mind of his conflicted relationship with his mortal self’s father. “What issue?” He asked hesitantly, confused by the young girl’s apparent change in demeanor from when she first walked into the door.
“The issue that prevents me from showing you how much I love you, that issue.” She sighed. Her feelings of disappoint and frustration now showing clearly in her eyes.
“Oh, well, I can help with that one,” Angel said in relief. He might not be able to solve all of Cordelia’s issues, but he could fix that one.
“Angel?” she raised her elegant brows.
“The Powers made my soul permanent.” He answered almost shyly.
“Permanent, as in no more Angelus worry. Gee, I would have thought they would be all pissy, not rewarding you.” She said in astonishment. Cordelia had never gotten the impression that the PTB were all that magnanimous or generous.
In fact, she always considered them somewhat petty, in that they never seemed to make anything easy for the vampire or her, for that matter. They didn’t go out of their way to make her visions clear or pain-free. Which, she grumbled to herself, couldn’t be that difficult for ‘oh so’ omniscient beings. No, Cordelia didn’t have a very high opinion of the Powers, well, except for them being all good and everything.
“They didn’t do it for me. It’s seems they thought to show their appreciation to you, their link for all that you have done for them.” Angel responded almost smiling. Cordelia deserved a sign of appreciation from the PTBs. Angel just hoped that Cordelia considered it a proper reward. Angel thought it a tremendous reward for him. The Power’s may not have intended for that to be the case, but it was, that was if Cordelia agreed.
“They gave you your soul to reward me?” She questioned in disbelief. “That’s not a bonus for me, that’s a bonus for you. A reward for me would be toning down the ‘ouch’ factor on those evil filled slide shows of theirs, unless…” Cordelia scrunched up her face. If Angel’s soul was permanent then he could experience real joy without the evil aftereffects of Angelus.
And that meant she and Angel could really be together. Cordelia face started to get red at the completion of that particular thought. Cordelia shook her head; she needed some clarification about her so call gift. “If your soul being permanent is my reward, then you can’t be giving it to anyone else, right. It’s mine.” She declared possessively, narrowing her eyes at the vampire.
Angel nodded in complete agreement. “My soul is yours and only yours,” he vowed.
Cordelia nodded. “Well…then..it’s an okay reward, I guess.” Cordelia gazed intently at the handsome vampire, her eyes unreadable. Cordelia didn’t know whether to jump for joy or run away. Cordelia had wished and dreamed of this day for a very long time and that was before she even knew that Angel loved her.
Finding out that Angel actually loved her had strengthened those fantasies a thousandfold. But, she had always thought that it would remain just an impossible dream. And, now, hearing that Angel’s soul was permanent and all that it implied for them, she was weirdly nervous and self-conscious.
“Umm, Angel now what?”
“That’s up to you.” Angel returned her gaze. Angel resisted the urge to fling the young woman over his shoulder. Instead, he stood completely still, waiting for her answer.
“Oh,” Cordelia lowered her eyes embarrassed. They both remained motionless, the tension between them becoming almost palpable.
This was stupid, Cordelia thought. Her dreams were just an answer away from becoming true and here she was, standing like a deer caught in headlights. Bolstering her nerve Cordelia raised her eyes back up to the vampire. “Angel, will you make love to me? That’s if you want to…”
With a low growl, Angel was across the room before Cordelia could finished her sentence. He pulled Cordelia into his arms, using his lips and hands to show Cordelia how much he wanted to make love to her. His lips settled over Cordelia’s lips, his teeth and tongue nudging at hers. Cordelia gasped at the sensation. The vampire took advantage of her parted lips to thrust his tongue into her opening mouth, devouring Cordelia’s sweet taste. Cordelia met Angel’s questing tongue eagerly, marveling at the desire surging through her body. She whimpered into his mouth as his strong hands traveled up and down her sides. Cordelia gently broke away to gasp for some much needed air. Angel didn’t let her move far as his lips and tongue tasted the delicate skin around her neck.
“Angel,” she murmured, running her hands along his broad back. Angel growled as her hands found their way under his shirt. He pushed her with his body towards the sofa. His last conscious thought before the desire overwhelmed him, was that his original thought of rushing Cordelia to the bedroom was way too optimistic. He growled as he positioned Cordelia on the couch, his body following quickly after hers. Angel needed to explore all of his seer’s body.
Cordelia clutched at the vampire, frantically tugging at his shirt. Angel leaned up from the writhing young girl to rip his shirt off. He leaned back into her lips, relishing the taste of Cordelia and the feeling of her hands roaming all over his bare skin. Angel kissed down her soft cheek, leaving a moist trial along his path. His mouth stopped when it reached the material of her shirt. Angel growled in frustration as his teeth ripped at the garment trying to pull it away from the beautiful body it covered.
Cordelia lifted her head. “Hey, stop,” she pouted. “This is my favorite shirt.” She giggled, leaning up further lifting the shirt from her body. “Okay?” she whispered, pulling Angel back to her body.
“Very,” Angel growled, placing moist kisses along her collarbone, descending the moist path to her breast. The fire in Angel’s loins was more intense than he had ever experienced before. His mind and body were in conflict, his body needed to be immediately submerged in Cordelia’s warmth, but his mind wanted to take time to savor ever morsel of her delicious flesh.
Cordelia jerked Angel’s mouth closer to her breast. She squirmed as his lips and teeth nipped and teased at her taut nipple.
“Angel,” she moaned. She couldn’t stand it. As much as Cordelia reveled in his every touch and kiss, she needed Angel now. She had wanted this for so long. In her dreams, she had pictured slow and delicate lovemaking by the vampire, but in reality, right now, she didn’t need it or want it. “I…” she groaned, reaching for his pants. “Please, now.”
Angel growled his acquiesce and in an almost one fluid movement, he had removed both of their remaining clothes. He stared down at the flushed girl beneath him. “Cordy?” He asked in an instant of uncertainty. This was going to fast, he worried. He didn’t want to rush or pressure the young girl.
“Angel,” she demanded, her fingernails urging the vampire on. All of her love and desire were contained in that one word.
With a sense of relief and extreme pleasure, Angel plunged into her welcoming depths. He stilled, enthralled by the warmth that encased him.
“I love you,” he struggled. Cordelia smiled wildly and thrust upwards with her hips. Cordelia’s smile and motion encouraged the vampire to movement. He thrust repeatedly into Cordelia’s center. Cordelia clenched her eyes, as her breaths became rapid gasps and her body tensed. Tears formed in the corners of her eyes as she felt her body on the cusp of a massive explosion, bright and lovely colors were flashing behind her closed eyelids.
“Angel,” she begged, her fingernails digging into his skin, drawing blood.
Angel growled, his eyes flashing from a deep brown to a bright yellow. “Cordy,” he called.
His seer opened her waterfilled eyes into Angel’s demon yellow eyes. She smiled. “I love you.”
Angel lunged towards the beckoning skin around Cordelia’s delicate neck. Cordelia pulled him closer, moaning loudly as Angel’s fangs pierced her skin. Cordelia gasped and whimpered as Angel sipped from her neck. The colors of her mind burst into a kaleidoscope of shapes and hues as she felt her release.
“Oh god,” she sobbed, grabbing at the vampire’s body, her inner muscles contradicting rapidly around Angel’s thrusting member. Angel wrenched his mouth from Cordelia’s neck as he felt his body explode in joyous release. His weight covered Cordelia’s trembling smaller frame. He could stay this way forever, he thought as his mind and body slowly regained their equilibrium.
Angel started as he heard Cordelia’s slight moan. Oh god, he thought, he was crushing her. He quickly started to lift his weight. Cordelia reached and grabbed at the retreating vampire.
“No, don’t leave me, just..” she urged her body to the side. Angel readily and smoothly turned his body so that Cordelia was lying on top of his, all the while never withdrawing from her warwth. Cordelia bit her lip.
“Hi,” she said shyly.
“Hi,” he answered flashing one of his rare and beautiful smiles.
“I love you,” she said softly.
“And, I love you. Which is a good thing, considering that the Power’s have seemed fit to give you my soul.” He smiled, caressing her face.
“Well, permanently nice ‘grr’ guy don’t you ever forget it.” Cordelia giggled.
“Cordelia,” he said softly, entangling his fingers in her hair. “I may be dense and at times very stupid. But, I’m not a moron. I will always remember and always love the young beautiful strong, caring, annoying seer that holds not only my soul, but my humanity.”
“That’s me, right?” She asked. Her wide eyes begging for reassurance.
“Yes,” Angel laughed, pulling his seer to his questing lips.
After awhile, Angel released his seer. “Bed?’
Cordelia nodded, happily.
“Cordy,” Angel cradled his naked seer in his arms. “You will go back and see Dr. Radcliff,” he ordered.
“No, Cordelia, I can’t help you or protect you from the ghosts of your past, as much as I want and need to, so you will see her again. I won’t allow you not to address what’s still bothering you.”
“You’re really very bossy, you know that,” she said, nuzzling into the crook of his neck.
“Cordy,” he demanded.
“I know. I will.” She said kissing his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you,” the vampire vowed as he carried his seer up the stairs.