Cordelia fell forward as the bright light diminished.
The vampire sat on the bed, holding her shoulders down. “Definitely need a refund. Soul gone, non-consenting stuff, cuz I sure didn’t consent to that. Though, it might be fun.” He crawled closer over Cordelia’s squirming body.
“I told you, I didn’t do what I did because of hate or anger, but out of pleasure and pain, don’t you ever listen to me, obviously not and look where you are now.” The vampire rolled on his back landing on Cordelia’s stomach. “Rage and anger are the soul’s doing. Boring, but true. Don’t care, no anger, no rage. So easy without a soul, so damn easy to take what you want.”
The vampire trailed a slow stroke down Cordelia’s side, turning to face her. “You think you know me so well, but you don’t understand the freedom of not caring, the thrill of taking what you want. I was wrong, I have learned to hate again. I hate the soul that prohibited the freedom to take the pain and pleasure without restraint, just like I hate those that made me adhere to it. You being the biggest offender of all- worse than the slayer, even. Always believing that I could do it making me want to do it making me believe for that brief moment that it could be done.
But you failed to understand and what the soul tried to ignore, is that I am my demon the soul didn’t change that. And half the time, I didn’t want to be that good person, with the best heart that you claimed I was. Do you know how many times I wanted to snap your neck because you wouldn’t just let me do what I wanted or just fuck you until you bled, but you wouldn’t have like that, and the soul would’ve gotten all miserable and god forbid stuttery. ” He swiftly plopped on her chest, face to face. “Nothing to say.”
Cordelia gulped back her tears. “Why aren’t I dead?”
The vampire gazed her into her eyes and down along her body. “Because you don’t fear death. I learned watching you suffer for two years from the visions. Not saying a word. You accept pain and death, like you deserve it or something. So, I’m stuck trying to find out exactly what you fear the most.”
“No, I’m not even sure that’s true, though you should.” The vampire studied the young woman. “Wesley, “ he eyes lightened. “Gunn” he laughed. “Fred. Ooh, getting closer, at what point will you break, Connor?” Angel leaned up. “Connor? You don’t even really like him right now, you blame him…. yet, you do still fear for him, don’t you, left over mommy feelings, what? You can tell me, I’ll keep your secret.”
Cordelia flinched at his beckoning tone. “Don’t underestimate Connor. He did manage to put Angel in a box.” Cordelia struggled trying to pull up her power again.
“He put ME in the box, Cordelia, I wasn’t absent for that. But, that was then, this is now, NOW I won’t be whining and trying to ‘reason’ with him. No, I’ll just be ripping the little bastards head off. But then again, maybe I’ll be creative; after all Holtz already talked me up big, can’t just rest on my laurels.”
“What do you want from me?” Cordelia tried to jerk away.
“You got me thinking, maybe I do need an new eternal crazy evil pet.”
Cordelia gulped then glared. “Go find Justine, then.”
“Did I tell you how magnificent you were, but no, ‘eww’, I did tell you that.”
Cordelia blinked at the expression on his face.
The vampire laughed. “Sweet Fred might be fun, but really no challenge it wouldn’t take much to get her running back to her cave and babbling. But she is darling.”
“Then she’ll probably want to turn her boyfriend or maybe she’ll just want to play with him awhile. I’ll encourage either. Wesley, though, and that kid are dead.” The vampire pondered out loud, washing over Cordelia’s plea.
“You haven’t mentioned my place in this grand scheme of yours yet.” Cordelia tugged again in at the manacles.
The vampire leaned in, whispering, “Take everything I ever wanted from you of course. The question is then what. You’ve been the bane of my existence for so long, but you would also make a helluva vampire, beautiful, loyal, strong, a great fuck, and without the soul, I wouldn’t even hate you. But, I don’t know, do I want to reward you for making me so goddamn miserable and happy. Tough call. What do you think? You did promise to be with me for always.”
“Not you, never you.”
“You say tomato, I say tamahto.”
“I don’t care what you do to me.” Cordelia jerked again.
“I know, which is why I’m not in a real hurry to torture you. Exactly, how many times have you been tortured?” The vampire rolled on his back, using her chest as a cushion, holding up his fingers counting,” the eyes’ auction, nah, I’m not counting that one, no real damage, and I’m not counting the demon spawn babies, either, you asked for that, so what, Vocah, I’ll give you that one, and I’ll give you the major head fuck by Wolfram & Hart’s bigheaded freak, but not the Skilosh’s little skull hurting spawn, that only lasted an instant. Actually,” Angel leaned up, “What’s with you and demon babies, had I had any balls with a soul, you might’ve been Connor’s mommy. Oh well.” Angel sighed lying back. “You haven’t been tortured by any real pros, so maybe I should. What exactly did that little girl bitch do to you again?”
“I doubt you could even beat the Plyean Priests.”
The vampire narrowed his eyes. “What Plyean Priest?”
“The ones that suck hot irons in my head.”
“You were just complaining, you said it wasn’t bad- nothing about hot irons.”
“I lied, but if you want torture- torture away. I wish you would and STOP talking.” Cordelia tried to kick out.
The vampire turned searching her face, “Of course you lied. Should’ve known. When haven’t you lied about the pain- tell me Cordelia, will you lie about this pain?” The vampire sat up and laughed. “You will, just like you want me to hurt you. You want me to hurt you, that way you can keep saying over and over- it’s Angelus, it’s Angelus – not Angel- and block it out like you block every other painful thing in your life. This hurts you more doesn’t it?” Knowing that I am him. Which do you fear more, me, touching you softly, ” gently padding his fingers along her neck,
“or ripping into your skin?”? The vampire smiled. ” I know the answer, loving you- would destroy you, making you gasp and squirm at my touch.” He moved down, his hand released to curve over her breast, gentling teasing, hardening the nipple. “That was pretty easy. How about this,” the vampire trailed his hand down, cupping her center with a caress. “So hot.” He murmured.
Cordelia flinched trying to jerk her hips away.
The vampire rested his chin on her belly, staring up. Cordelia had squeezed her eyes closed, but that didn’t stop the tears from streaming.
The vampire closed his eyes at the sight, “Shh, baby, it will be alright,” he whispered. His lips moving with gentle kisses to embrace the center.
Cordelia’s eyes shot open. It was Angel’s touch, Angel’s voice, his lips that was touching. She winced, knowing that if she closed her eyes again she would believe it. Cordy forced herself to remember the smirk, the sardonic laughter, and the cold eyes that made his lack of soul apparent and dangerous. Angelus was mocking her love for Angel and she hated him for it. She yelled, jerking her hips harder. This was real, she reminded herself.
It was her vision. Imagines flashed again, pictures of the sneering handsome face juxtaposed on the loving one. Angel vs. Angelus- Angelus vs. Angel-the same face of both flashed through her head. They were the same. This was madness, this was….Cordelia gulped looking at the dark head between her thighs touching gently, trying to give her pleasure, a sickness engulfed her as her body responded and her mind came to an impossible conclusion.
“Told you,” The vampire leaned up, his face void of all expression.
Cordelia gulped swallowing shallow breaths as her muscles tried to calm. She narrowed her eyes. “You don’t seem that happy in that ‘I told you so’. Why? Maybe it wasn’t you, maybe I was just not through with getting laid, good fuck that I am and all.” She moved dragging her legs away from the vampire. “You are good too, you know, must be all those years of practice. Practice makes perfect, I guess mines just talent.”
“Look at you trying so hard, you’ve got you’re brave cocky Cordy face on – the ‘no one can touch me face,” The vampire leaned up studying the young woman, the tears were gone, the heat was still at the tips of his fingers, on the taste of his tongue, but she was cold to look at.
“You can’t…” she slowly shook her head, her eyes momentarily shifting from the vampire’s mocking gaze. “You can’t touch me not anymore, not now.” Cordelia jerked her head to face the vampire head on. “ So, did you want to do more or are we done,”
The vampire narrowed his eyes. “You have no idea what I can do to you.” He leaned caressing Cordelia’s clenched jaw. “My Cordy, so untouchable, but touchable to me, always to me. I found your worse fear,” the vampire leaned back over Cordelia’s body, his hand now resting on the scar on her stomach. “Now you can’t hide. I told you that I liked this, I lied.” He pressed at the old wound. “The moron’s mark, made because you loved him, hate it want it gone.” The vampire moved his fangs sinking around the marred flesh, piercing, and sucking making the scar his own.
Cordelia yelled, clenched her eyes closed, tensing her body as hands settled her hips to the bed. Through the fire in her brain she could hear the slurping of lips on flesh, drinking possessing her to the fullest. Her hands grasped around the iron bars, not moving just waiting for it to be over. S
he….Cordelia groaned as the pain was magically transformed into ease, the sucking hadn’t stopped but the force was gone, now it was gentle, the strength still held her but it was soft, beckoning and tempting. That’s when rage filled her and hate sprang to mind, she jerked again forcing the fangs that had become gentle to rip into her skin, causing a jagged tear and forced a scream from her throat.
“Damn’t, Cordelia, don’t.” The vampire jerked up, slamming his hands down on her, making her body still, his lips this time coating the ripped flesh, kissing and tonguing, stopping the flow of blood that Cordelia’s move generated.
Cordelia leaned up on the bed, the tenderness of his actions causing her tears to start falling again. “Just stop…just stop. Please just stop” Her voice broken.
The vampire leaned up licking his lips. “I take it you don’t love me anymore.”
Cordelia refused to answer her eyes squeezing tighter, her head shaking, anger expounding at the vampires words and a hurt indescribable.
“Whatever I am? You can’t handle it. You’re too cocky for your own good, should’ve realized it early on you can’t love a vampire – they’ll always bite you in the end.” The vampire swung to the side of the bed, his shoulders slumped.
Cordelia opened her eyes to stare at the naked broad back, signs of earlier lovemaking still apparent of the pale flesh. She clenched her jaw, never in her twenty some years and multiple of experiences had she wanted to kill a being so. The power surged through her body, pulsating, not needing a guide.
The manacles melted as the bars did. She jerked kicking at the broad back, pushing the vampire to the floor. She rolled searching, grabbing at the leather coat on the floor, yanking at the stakes she knew would be there. She lunged landing on the fallen vampire the wooden point pressed at the exact spot needed on his naked chest.
“What, no struggle, where’s that self preservation of Angelus I’ve heard so much about,” Cordelia glared at the hands that held her by the shoulders, not pushing just holding and the brown eyes that stared at her. The vampire waited. “Come on, Angelus, its Angel that tries to commit yearly suicide or has bouts with self-destructing, not you.”
Cordelia bore the stake further breaking the skin. “Damn’t do something, say something, just how far are you willing to take this…. WHY?” She leaned up as she heard familiar voices call out her name and Angel’s.
She got up flinging the stake wide grabbing at a sheet, huddling an end at the blood that had started to flow again on her stomach, hiding it, wrapping the excess sheet around like a toga with the corners draped around her reddened wrists. Cordelia swirled to the vampire now leaning up against the wall.
“You will get up, get dressed and shut up. Do it, Angel, now.” She ordered, brushing the tears off her face with a corner of the sheet and faced the door as Wesley barged in.
Angel slid up the wall, his eyes never leaving Cordelia. Her words her actions were all in slow motion as he watched her wave her hands, chastising their friend for kicking in the door. She poo ha the weapons that they were holding. Throwing up her hands as she yelled more. Angel watched as Wesley and Gunn stepped back lowering their weapons at the scowl of the woman. He saw Wesley hold out a pouch in a conciliatory motion. Angel focused in finally listening to the conversation.
“Cordelia, we weren’t following you, though we should’ve been. Right, whatever, but Cordy, Wolfram & Hart knew…”
“What?” Cordelia stepped forward her dramatic display quieted.
Wesley stepped eagerly forward at the calm. “Yes and they had devised a spell to break the enchantment of this room,” Wesley waved about. “Hoping for Angelus and you dead.”
“Uh?” Cordelia shook her head. “Angelus? That’s Angel, been Angel, no soul lossage.” she pointed to the vampire still in the background but now listening.
Angel slunk back. Deep down he had known but he had gone too far, so he had just continued hoping that he was mistaken. Cordelia had asked him how far he had been willing too take it, too far, but obviously not far enough and now Angel was damned in her eyes.
Still, Angel stood straighter against the wall, it wasn’t his plan for her to hate him like that, but it would accomplish what he needed. But god it hurt. Angel looked back at the young woman who was telling their friends the truth but ball faced lying at the same time. Why was she lying? God, he wished he could really understand that woman.
“Yes, good. Didn’t think it would be once the Furies verified that the spell only effected the ‘no violence’ portion and Anita here explained the exact nature of the enchantment.”
The brothel owner poked her head in. “No broken furniture.”
“You didn’t give us any,” Cordelia huffed.
“What did you do to the bed?” Pointing to the melted iron.
“I kinda of glow at certain times.” Cordelia shrugged.
“You two are going to bankrupt me.” She tisked.
“Bill us,” Cordelia glared. “Wesley, if you knew the spell didn’t work…”
“I didn’t until very recently, so-“ He shrugged up his dart gun. “They’re re-doing the ‘no’ violence portion as we speak.” Wesley shrugged again. “Though, violence really wasn’t a concern not if the enchantment itself wasn’t broken. It was just you and Angel.”
“Of course, just me and Angel, safe as two peas in a pod,” Cordelia laughed softly. “So what’s in the pouch your swinging around like an idiot?”
“Oh, the best part…”
“There’s a good part to all this.”
“Cordelia, this was not a secret you should’ve kept. Wolfram & Hart’s goal…”
“Wesley, the bag, lecture me later.”
“Oh, I found the alternate spell….”
“The gypsies had two, the one they used and this one.”
“It’s wonderful,” Fred chimed in.
“Yes, well,” Wesley coughed. “I can make Angel’s soul permanent, so no fear of any more of Wolfram & Hart’s games on that front,” he waved the bag.
Cordelia’s eyes as well as Angel’s were centered on that small pouch.
Cordelia blinked. “That will work?”
“Yes, I’ve been working on it for the last few days and finally found the right spell.”
Cordelia staggered forward. “You’ve been what? For how long?”
“I didn’t want to tell you until I was sure, no false hopes and all.”
Cordelia swayed and gulped.
Angel moved, not knowing whether he wanted to kill the oh so helpfully good willed closed mouthed Wesley first or hold Cordelia. His decision was made on both counts when Cordelia jerked away and leaned into Wesley’s suddenly outstretched arms. “Cordy, are you alright, you look pale.”
“Nerves and annoyance, only.” She clutched at Wesley’s arms straightening only to stagger again.
Angel moved even closer. His thoughts and instincts completely centered on the young woman in the other man’s arms.
Cordelia stepped back her balance steady. “Can you believe it, vision. Vampires, um, waiting in the park to snack. You better go and quick, it will be dawn soon, but you can get there in time if you hurry, Fred you can take me home, right?”
“Of course, “ Fred ran up worried at the paleness of Cordelia’s face.
“Cordelia,” Angel stepped forward saying the only words he said since Cordelia got loose.
“Go, Angel, be a champion, work for your soul, you need it – Or don’t if it makes you too angry, do what you want.”
“Cordy,” Fred said, holding out her arm as the other woman swayed again.
“Fred, get them out, I need to get dressed,” she said softly. “Please.”
Fred nodded puzzled, but shooed everyone, even grabbing Angel by the shirt and tugging him to the door. “Go fight the vision, go, Cordy said you had to hurry. Make sure you have the blankets. ” She waved them all off.
Once out of sight she turned to Cordelia. “Cordy,” Fred started to re-enter.
“Just a minute Fred, I’ll be out quick, okay.”
Fred bit her lips and nodded. She glanced at the closed door. She could get that Cordelia was angry that they all barged in on her and Angel, but what she didn’t understand is the sadness of the vampire that left and the woman remaining in the room.
Did neither of them hear that Wesley had the cure for Angel’s happy curse?
Cordelia slowly unwrapped the sheet, staring at the blood soaked portions as they fell to the floor. She tore at a clean part, shoving it next to the wound and hunted for her clothes, feeling dead inside.