“So……having a good time in Vegas?” Angel’s voice was low. Cordy caught her breath at the flash of gold she must have imagined in the depths of his dark eyes.
He looked at Wesley, and then his gaze slid away, dismissing him, as it settled back on Cordelia with mild intensity.
“Wushhh….mmmm…..gggaaarrrrr” Wesley couldn’t seem to put together a coherent word. Cordelia finally reached back and smacked his head as if he was a skipping CD.
“OhmygodAngelwegotmarriednowwehavetofixit” came rushing out in a whoosh from Wesley’s mouth as Angel regarded them both silently. Cordelia bit her lip, and grimaced as the sound from the tv finally registered.
“You may now kiss the bride…” Cordelia nearly tripped over her own feet lunging for the remote held loosely in Angel’s hand. Without a change in expression Angel held the remote up and away from her grasping hands so that she fell over his legs and landed face down over his lap. She pushed frantically against his legs, trying to stand again.
He reached down and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her upright to her feet. She thought she heard a muttered, “don’t tempt me” as he hoisted her back up. After setting her back on her feet he grabbed at her hand, holding it so he could see the flashing red and green Starfleet Insignia ring, still glowing around her finger.
“Nice Ring.” He looked at Wes. “Family Heirloom?”
Cordelia tossed him an evil glare before snatching her hand back and marching over to the tv and turning it off with furiously jabbing fingers. Angel watched with a deceptive calmness.
“Oh, c’mon, Cordy. We were just getting to the good part.” She closed her eyes in resignation and turned to face him, finally opening her eyes to meet his gaze. He hadn’t moved.
“There is no ‘good part’. No, we’re not having fun. We’re screwed.”
“Well, actually, I think that’s where the tape was going….” Cordelia looked at him blankly. “You know. On to the wedding night.”
“THERE WAS NO WEDDING NIGHT.” She took a deep breath. “OK. Technically there was, but there was no….you know….” Angel’s expression didn’t change a bit. “There wasn’t an actual…” she made airquotes with her fingers. “wedding night.”
Angel’s hands rose and he made airquotes with his fingers. “Good.”
Cordelia shook her head and sat down on the sofa, slumping back and covering her face with her hands. “Oh, god, Angel….this is so, so, so…..so bad.” She heard a murmured gurgle and looked up at Wesley who stood, frozen, still staring at Angel.
“Wes. Sit down. You look like you’re going to pass out.” Without a word, Wesley sat down next to Cordy, his hands held together loosely in his lap. Angel watched him without comment.
“Really, Wesley just wanted to see the Star Trek Experience….we thought it would take an hour at the most…and….”
“You got married. Yeah, how exactly did that happen. You’re riding, you’re seeing, you’re touring, you think…hey…it’s a guy dressed like an alien. Let’s get married.”
“No…no….no…..ok, kinda. I mean…there were, you know….drinks.”
“No kidding? Drinks? Really? Amaretto sours, you said.”
“Yeah. Lots of drinks. I lied, Angel, I drank a lot.”
“Ya think? A lot, hmmmm?”
“So, we got drunk, real drunk….and….I think we went into the chapel….and I think we kind of…well, one thing led to another…”
“We’re married.” Wesley sounded dazed.
“Well, yeah.” Cordelia looked nervously at Angel. “We’re married.”
They all sat there silently a moment before Angel spoke. “So….are congratulations in order?”
Cordy snuck a look at him. He seemed…..she didn’t know. She had never seen him like this. It was as if Beige Angel was multiplied by Angelus and then watered down by the guy who found peanut butter in his bed. She didn’t know this guy. And she wasn’t sure that she wanted to.
Wesley suddenly popped up. “I need to…um…excuse me.” And he bolted out of the room into the restroom, slamming the door behind him. Cordelia looked over at Angel.
“He hasn’t felt well. He’s been a little….”
“Hungover?” Cordy nodded. He raised his hands once again, making airquotes. “Good.” She sighed.
“OK, lemme have it.”
“Oh, where to start?” Angel suddenly rose, agitated, and ran his hand through his hair. He walked a few steps away and turned to face her. “How could you both be so stupid?”
“We were drunk!”
“Asked and answered.”
“Oh, c’mon, Angel, we can fix this. I think.” He glared at her. “It’s not that bad. I mean, it’s…you know….bad…but Jeeze…”
“Not that bad? Really? Cordy, do you have any idea…” He broke off, glaring at her wildly before crossing to her and yanking her to her feet in one fluid move. Startled, she looked up at him as he gripped her wrists and looked down at her with an almost feral glint in his eyes.
“What are you doing?” her voice was a squeak.
“Kissing the bride.” was muttered before his head lowered and his lips pressed to hers firmly. It was hard and quick, and Cordy didn’t have time to react before he raised his face and looked down at her before dropping her hands and turning away, seeming to draw a steadying breath.
“Angel…” her voice was soft and slightly confused.
“Cordelia…don’t.” He stood with his back to her. He was still for a moment before turning to her, his hands on his hips, holding his jacket back. “Ok. What have you done about it?”
“Mmm….went back to the chapel….seems there are no do-overs..” she smiled weakly, guessing it would be best to ignore the kiss. He looked back at her without a change in expression. “Now, I guess we have to go home and get an attorney and see about getting it annulled. Or a divorce. I’m not sure what the difference is.”
Angel rubbed his forehead as if he was getting a headache. “An annulment usually means the marriage wasn’t….consummated.”
“It wasn’t.” Cordy’s voice was flat.
“YES.” Angel seemed to relax.
“Ok. Then we’re…..I mean, you’re good. You can go see an attorney and get this whole thing over with. Should be simple.” They both stood there, silent, looking at each other.
Cordelia opened her mouth to speak just as the restroom door opened and Wesley calmly walked out, his face pale but composed.
“Sorry about that. Stomach’s a little….”
“Empty, Wes.” Cordelia looked around. “You haven’t eaten all day, and you’re a mess.” She looked around a bit before sitting down at the sofa and leaning over to cut a small piece of cake. She placed it on a plate and held it out to him. “C’mon. Take a small bite.”
Wesley trudged over to her and sat down beside her, looking balefully down at the cake. “I don’t think I can.”
“Wes, you need something. Just take a bite…” Cordelia broke off a small bite and held it up to his mouth with her fingers, smiling at him coaxingly. “Just a bite and we’ll check out and get you something better in your tummy.” Wesley opened his mouth and leaned in and she started to feed him the cake just as a picture of what they must look like flashed in her head.
She froze, looking over at Angel, who glared at them both.
“Go on, Cordy, give the groom his cake.” Angel’s voice was almost a snarl. The lightbulb above Wesley’s head suddenly went on and he scrambled back from Cordy and stood, agitated. He jumped up and almost leapt several steps away.
“No, not at all… I meant, we didn’t mean….um….” he turned frantically to Cordy. “Help.”
“OK. I’m done.” Cordy rose up. “I’m packing, we’re outta here. Let’s go home.” She looked at Wesley, trying to smile reassuringly. “It’ll be fine. Johnny Cochran here tells me we can get an annulment, so it will be good.”
Angel snorted and she threw him a dirty look. Turning back to Wes, she said, “Get your stuff out of the bathroom and let’s blow this marriage hole.” Wesley nodded and walked to the bathroom, turning slightly and not meeting Angel’s gaze.
“It was an accident, Angel. We never intended….”
Angel seemed to sigh. “I know. I know. I’m just….it just surprised me. That’s all. Let’s go home.” Wesley nodded and turned to go back into the bathroom to get his shave kit.
Cordelia looked back at Angel, wariness in her eyes as she walked to the bed and began gathering sundry items to toss into her travel bag.
He watched her a moment, then slowly turned back to the small cake sitting on the table. He leaned down and plucked the groom off the cake, looking down at it as he slowly closed his fist, crunching the small figure into a pile of broken shards.
Shaking the mess off his hands, he glanced at Cordy to make sure she hadn’t noticed and then plucked up the bride, brushing crumbs off of it before tucking it away in his pocket.
20 minutes later they were on the road, driving through the Nevada desert in the inky black of night. Just married. Mr. and Mrs. Wyndam-Price. Cordelia sighed, sitting next to Angel in the front seat, Wesley silent and still in the back.
As marriages go, it was off to an ok start, like other marriages. Except her wedding ceremony had been in Klingon. And a vampire was driving her home. And the marriage was already over. She stole a glance at Angel.
And the vampire was acting almost…..jealous. What was that about?