13
The alley was as long as the last one, though they’d covered a considerable amount of ground at the speed at which they were running. Now the main road was just a few yards away, the colourful lights of cars whizzing by making Faith a little dizzy.
She panted, slowing and grabbing Buffy’s arm when she continued to run. “I don’t like this.”
Buffy swivelled. “Running?”
Faith glared at her. “Leaving Cordelia back there.”
Buffy sighed heavily running a hand through her hair. “Me neither.” She looked at Faith. “She just – ”
“Seemed so damn sure that we should.” Faith finished for her. “I know.” She bit her lip. “If anything happens to her – ”
“It’ll be okay.” Buffy placed a hand on Faith’s shoulder. “She looked…she knew what she was doing.” She sounded as though she was trying to reassure herself as much as Faith. “She’s not a martyr, Faith. If Cordy says she can handle it, she’ll be fine.”
Faith didn’t look entirely convinced but nodded, gesturing for Buffy to keep running. Together they ran out onto the main road, hailing wildly for a cab.
***
Flanked by three security guards, Cordelia stared evenly at the steel doors of the main Wolfram and Hart elevator as it began its ascent towards the top of the building. She grimaced, the guard’s hold on her wrists bordering on painful.
“You know who the boss is, little girl?” The guard on the right of her sneered. “He’s a vampire. Big, bad and bloodthirsty.”
“I’m shaking in my Jimmy Choos.” Cordy deadpanned.
“You better be you little bitch.” His fingers bit into her arm and she winced. “Cos he sure as hell ain’t gonna go easy on some stupid Charlie’s Angels wannabe who thinks she can break into his firm.”
Cordy felt her lips twitch but stayed silent.
The doors opened and she was shoved forward, the plush interior of the same hallway her, Faith and Buffy had walked through not so many days ago greeting her. The guards led her across the empty floor and to Angel’s private office. One of the guards picked up a phone placed on a small desk beside the large doors, pressing a single button and speaking into it.
“Mr Angel?” The guard glared at Cordelia. “Sir, we have one of the girls who broke into Wolfram and Hart this evening.” He nodded, starting slightly when the doors in front of them opened. “Thank you sir.”
Cordelia was escorted through Angel’s office, all the way to another lift. The guard on her right pressed the button and she was pushed inside, the doors closing and swiftly opening again after ascending to the next floor.
Cordelia’s eyes widened. The elevator doors opened to reveal a large, exquisite penthouse suite, worthy of any seven-star hotel in Los Angeles. The floors were carpeted in plush, beige fabric that complimented the classic combination of crème and camel coloured walls. Expensive artwork was displayed on nearly every available surface. The shelves, tables and large desk were made of the most splendid red-oak wood.
Cordy wasn’t entirely sure why Angel needed a second desk and makeshift office up here but figured it was all part of the wealth and prestige. Maybe some days he just stayed up here, cut off from the world downstairs that he’d never really wanted to be a part of.
“Mr Angel?” One of the guards said, frowning when there was no response. “Sir?”
“I head you the first time.” Came a gravely voice from their right and then there he was, stepping out from the shadows and what Cordy presumed was his bedroom. Her heart lurched.
One of the guards pointed at Cordelia, while the other unshackled her bruised wrists. “Sir, this is – ”
“I know who she is.” Angel’s voice held no emotion, though Cordy was certain she saw his fists tighten as he watched her rub her sore wrists. “I asked you not to constrain her.”
“But sir, she would’ve – ”
“When I give you an order, I expect it to be followed,” Angel’s voice was low, dangerous, and even Cordy felt a shiver run down her spine, “regardless of the consequences. Because I assure you gentlemen,” He stepped towards one of the guards, his eyes flashing yellow, “whatever *I* do to you will be worse.”
The guard shook his head vigorously, his body a similar state as he stammered, “Y…yes s…sir.”
Angel simply took a step back, his eyes landing on Cordy. She was careful not to change her expression, though it was difficult not to act like a little girl, jump into his arms and call him her hero.
She blinked. It had been a while since she’d really felt that about any man.
“Leave us.” Angel demanded, neither him nor Cordy sparing the guards a glance when they scrambled into the elevator, jabbing buttons for the floor below. The steel doors slid shut with a bing, marking their exit.
Instantly, Angel was in front of her.
“Did they hurt you?” Angel asked with a growl, though his hands were gentle as one cupped her face, the other checking her for injuries. “If they hurt you – ”
Cordelia covered the hand on her cheek with her own. “I’m fine.”
His hand paused above her shoulder as his eyes jerked to hers, dark and concerned. If possible, he stepped even closer. “Are you sure?”
She couldn’t help but smile, her heartbeat quickening at his proximity. “Yeah.”
Angel studied her intently for a beat before he broke into a smile, knuckles caressing her jawline. “Good.” She grinned back at him. “I missed you today.”
Cordy raised an eyebrow. “You left the office five hours ago.”
His lips fluttered teasingly over her cheek, her temple, the space between her eyebrows. “Feels like ten…” He admitted, murmuring.
Slowly, she tilted her head and his lips buried into hers, soft and open. She whimpered, feeling the cool brush of his tongue against hers. Her eyes fluttered shut as he deepened the kiss, pulling her closer until there was no space between them. Cordy’s hands slid up his arms, over his shoulders and around his neck as she tangled her fingers in the hair at the nape. Angel hands bunched up the material at the base of her shirt, circling her with arms of steel.
She would have suffocated – happily at that – but her body betrayed her and she found herself pulling back, sucking in lungfuls of air. Angel rested his forehead against hers and his fingers tangled with hers, as though he couldn’t bear to lose contact. The thought made her giddy.
Something sparkled over his left shoulder, catching her eye and Cordy pulled away, her jaw dropping in amazement. Angel let her go, albeit reluctantly, and she strode towards the floor length windows, staring out onto the city.
“Wow…” She breathed.
His voice came from behind her. “The view?”
“No, the fabric of your blinds.” Cordy shot him a look over her shoulder. “Of course the view!”
Angel shrugged. “Evil comes with its perks.”
She laughed, pressing a hand to the glass. “What do you do during the day, hide under the covers?”
Angel shook his head. “The glass is necro-tempered.” At her questioning look he shrugged. “Expensive, fancy stuff. Stops me from going up in flames.” He smiled softly. “It’s kinda amazing actually…”
“I’ll bet.” Cordelia grinned, reaching into her pocket and removing her mobile phone. She flipped it open, searching through her address book and holding it against her ear. It rang twice before, “Hello?”
“Faith?”
“Oh thank god!” Faith exclaimed through the earpiece, making Cordelia wince. “I swear to god C, if they haven’t killed you by the time you get back, I’m killing you myself.”
“Thanks.” Cordy retorted dryly. “I’m with Angel.”
“With – ” Faith trailed off and Cordy could almost *see* her frown morphing into a wicked grin. “You conniving little shrew…”
Cordelia rolled her eyes, feeling a hot blush creep up her neck. “Whatever – look, I’m safe. Just wanted to call and tell you.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll pass on the message.” Faith said, a tinge of humour in her voice. “Go mack on your honey. Oh, and C?”
“Hmm?”
Faith chuckled. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Cordy smirked. “There isn’t anything you wouldn’t do.”
“True story…” Faith’s voice trailed off and the line went dead. Cordy released a breath, staring at the phone in her hand for a beat before glancing over her shoulder at Angel.
Still behind her, he remained silent, though his eyes sparkled with amusement. Damn vampire hearing…
“Shut up.” She muttered good-naturedly, taking one last look before turning and walking away from the glass. Cordy strolled casually around his office-cum-apartment, taking in the size, the style, everything. “So, perks huh? I’ll say…” Just as he had in her home, she ran her fingers over things, over the collection of antique weaponry hanging on his wall, over his chair and the plush felt table as she walked around it.
She stopped in front of it, eyes widening when the lights suddenly dimmed, casting a warm, romantic glow over the room.
“Setting the mood?” Cordelia smiled when she felt his arms slide around her, cheek rubbing against hers like a big cat.
“Conniving little shrew?” Angel retorted, his lips curling against her ear. He kissed the soft skin behind it, his arms tightening around her when she shivered.
“It’s rude to eavesdrop.” She said, eyes slamming shut as he buried his face in her neck, and there was sucking, and tiny nips with teeth. Cordy moaned, fisting her hand in his hair and holding him against her, chest solid at her back, teeth suckling at her throat.
“Angel…” She groaned at the silken feel of his palm sliding up her thigh, spanning the side of her waist as though he possessed it. He scraped his teeth over the base of her neck and sent sparks flying, a hint of fang in his smile when she shook against him.
He was undulating behind her, slowly bumping her into the blunt edge of the desk with his movements. Cordelia accepted the friction eagerly, desperate to quell the slow burn building inside her. She suddenly felt raw, sensitive to every touch.
She was aroused beyond belief and he’d barely even touched her.
Angel’s hand splayed out flat over her stomach where her shirt was undone, caressing the exposed skin just beneath her belly button. A hot ache began to spread between her legs and Cordelia moaned, inadvertently pressing her hips against him, feeling him hard behind her. She wanted to grind against him, to see what made him moan and growl –
“Angel…” Her eyelids drooped, curiously following his hand as it slowly undid the buttons of her shirt. His hips pushed into hers again and she whimpered. “Do you think we’re moving a little…fast?”
His tongue was in her ear and when he spoke his breath induced goose bumps across the damp area. He bit down onto her earlobe. “Do you want to stop?”
GOD NO. Cordelia sucked in a breath, biting her lip when his hand slid up, cupping one lace-covered breast. His thumb stroked the area, teasing her, though he reverently slowed his movements.
“Cordy?” He mumbled into her neck.
“No.” She demanded, tightening her grip on his hair and twisting her neck to face him. Angel’s mouth collided with hers and she moaned loudly, unable to help herself as he devoured her, her entire body shuddering at the contact.
He traced his fingers around the cup of her bra, gently pulling it down, exposing her. He stroked her once, the rough pad of his thumb evoking a trembling sensation within her and pulling her nipples unbearably tight. She helped him remove her shirt, not caring where it landed as she pressed her lips to his again, her body wet, scorching.
Angel’s free hand caressed her jaw, sliding over her neck, the valley between her breasts and finally resting over her pubic bone. His hips bumped into hers and he pressed his hand firmly down on her stomach, sliding it lower, and lower, and lower –
“Oh!” Cordelia exclaimed, her eyes sliding shut as he slid a finger into her, his thumb drawing slow circles around her clit. She jolted, grinding against him as her body responded to his gentle teasing. She felt hot, throbbing – when he flicked, it nearly sent her over the edge.
She turned and bit down on his jaw, one aching, throaty line escaping from deep down inside her. “Harder.”
Angel growled and her entire body jerked in something rather like an orgasm. He complied, rubbing maddening circles around her clit as he pushed a second finger into her, stretching her, pushing her to the brink. Cordelia felt as though she were being filled with hot, white light, seeping through her pores and making her glow brilliantly.
She clung to his lips like a woman starving, his hands blazing an inferno within her. She couldn’t get close enough, despite every attempt. She wanted him around her, surrounding her – she wanted to breathe him.
“I want…” She struggled, her breath catching in her throat.
Torturously, like the demon he was, Angel pulled his fingers out of her, trailing a warm, wet trail up her lower abdomen. His hips continued to pump into hers though he’d stopped his ministrations, smirking when she whimpered angrily at him.
“What do you want?” He murmured, flicking his tongue across her lips.
Cordelia swivelled, framed his face with both hands and kissed the hell out of him.
Energy, desire and excitement exploded between them and she had never felt anything more beautiful. Not to mention thrilling. Strong arms circled her waist, lifting her and dropping her onto the edge of the table. Angel stepped between the v of her thighs, pulling her willing body to his, his hands grasping at the small of her back.
“Is this one of your fantasies?” She asked breathlessly. “On the desk?”
Angel grinned, kissing her soundly. “Sure.”
His hands intertwined with hers and he kissed her cheek, nipped at her jaw, licked her neck. Cordy wrapped her legs around him as he descended down her body, dipping his tongue into the hollow of her throat before he wrapped his lips around a nipple and sucked.
Shockwaves shuddered through her. Angel released her hands and Cordelia scrunched them up in the short tufts of his hair, holding him against her. Her mouth fell open as his teeth elongated, scraping tenderly over the swollen nub. She jerked, pulling him up and towards her, catching his mouth in a lustful kiss.
Her arms wound around his neck, hands sliding over his shoulders and down his chest, making quick work of disposing his shirt. Angel went to help her and she reached for his belt, unbuckling it and tossing it to the ground. The back of her hand brushed his erection as she fumbled for his zipper, her entire body trembling in anticipation at the way he growled, low in his throat. Did he have any idea how sexy that was? His eyes flashed yellow when he looked at her, undoing the button of her trousers and pulling them down.
She uncurled her legs, letting him peel the trousers off her. Angel straightened slowly, sucking in an unnecessary breath and Cordelia blushed, biting her lip at the way he was just staring at her. His eyes lifted to her face and she smiled.
“You’re staring at me.”
“I am.” Angel admitted shamelessly. He stepped back between her legs, gently cupping her face between his palms. “You’re beautiful.”
He kissed her, holding her tight as she stroked her feet along his legs and over his hips, trying to push his pants down. Angel grinned against her mouth, his fingers sliding under the thin straps of her panties, smoothing over the silky skin of her bottom. Cordelia took his bottom lip between her teeth, playing with it as she FINALLY found the zipper and pushed it down his trousers, her fingers trailing along the edge of his boxers.
Together, they pushed down the two barriers of clothing. Cordy wound her legs around him again and Angel locked his arms at her lower back, bringing her closer. Slowly, so slowly, he slid inside her, pushing her down onto the desk and climbing over her, just as he had that night in her bedroom. She made a soft, impatient sound at his pace but Angel only smiled, pulling out entirely before pushing back all the way, cutting off her protest with a kiss.
He ate her mouth, rocking his hips into hers as their bodies joined, pushing deeper and harder until there was no space between them. Cordy gasped at the sensation of being filled by him, clutching at his shoulders as he rode her, belly to belly, their feet tangled. Broad shoulders and pale, soft skin swamped her vision and she kissed the curve of his shoulder, rolling her hips with his.
Angel moved with a powerful grace, his hips slamming into hers as he pinned her to the table, igniting sparks of heat and light across her body. He dipped his tongue between her lips, curling his fingers around her calf and pulling her tighter, stretching her taut over him. He rotated the angle of his hips, latching onto the pulse point at her throat and suckling.
Cordelia groaned, hands clenching and unclenching helplessly through the felt as he fucked her, his rhythm slow and hard. She grabbed his ass and squeezed, grinning with him when he laughed lightly, kissing her chin. She painted patterns over the smooth flatness of his back with her fingers, feathery soft as she trailed them over his earlobe and across his chin, pulling him down for a kiss.
When she pulled away she breathed in heavily, crying out when he thrust up deep inside her, hitting a nerve. Her eyes slid shut, flying open when she felt his thumb at the space between their joined bodies, coaxing her into release. She dug her nails into his shoulders, satisfied only when his mouth fell open and he moaned. Angel rocked his hips in time with hers, driving her into the table as he scraped his nail over her clit.
Cordy flinched. And then, like a supernova, she exploded.
Bright light rocketed through the space above her, bouncing off the edges of her vision and sparkling brilliantly as the orgasm hit. She felt as though she was soaring, radiance and luminosity rushing through her veins and soaking through her skin. Cordy cried out, her head falling back against the table as the room re-built itself around her, Angel’s pale shoulder blocking her view once again.
He was still pounding into her, his thrusts now erratic and in that moment Cordy had the intense urge to make him come – to make him feel the way she did and to make him feel it because of *her*.
She slid her hands into his hair, planting wet kisses up his cheek. Her tongue traced the outline of his ear, nipping at the earlobe when he jerked before sucking it into her mouth. She played it with her tongue, raking her nails down his lower back, feeling him tense. Angel bucked suddenly, his skin pulling taut as he growled his release into her throat, almost shaking with the intensity of it.
Cordelia stroked his hair soothingly as he stilled, her eyes fluttering. Angel lifted his head and placed his forehead against hers, smiling and pulling out of her slowly. She moaned at the loss but was appeased when he wrapped his arms around her, his body now warmer with her borrowed heat. He rubbed his nose against hers, kissing her lightly on the mouth before pulling her up with him into a seated position.
“That was…” Angel began, clearly unable to find a suitable word for how spectacular it felt. He stood, sliding his hands down her shoulders and arms, intertwining their fingers. “Wow.”
Cordelia grinned, leaning in for a kiss. “That’s a fair assessment.”
She kissed him softly, unable to get enough of him – hell, he was barely a foot away and she missed him already. Her hands flew to his face, cupping his cheeks as she deepened the kiss, laughing when he whisked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.
***
Faith slid the phone into her pocket, turning back to the sole two occupants of the office. Wesley was rifling through several sheets of paper as Buffy inserted the USB key into the computer and printed them off.
“Cor’s safe.” Faith confirmed. “She’s staying with Angel tonight.”
“Thank heavens.” Wesley said, not pursuing the subject any further. Faith noticed he was blushing.
Buffy nodded, clicking down on the mouse. “Alright Wes, this is the last one.”
The printer clicked and buzzed, producing a large number of printed sheets. Faith noticed that some of the pages had images and symbols on them, including a rather bizarre looking pair of instruments. One was large and circular, like an ancient coin, with a hole in the centre. The edges were inscribed with symbols in a language she didn’t understand. The other resembled an archaic key, cone shaped with a punctured ovular handle.
She picked up the sheet, staring at it curiously. “What’s this?”
Wesley glanced up. “What?”
Faith handed it to him.
Wesley studied it for several seconds, his face scrunching up in consideration. “Well, I’m really not certain. If I were to take an educated guess, I’d say connecting both objects together would produce an opening to something – a key.”
Buffy frowned. “A key to what?”
Wesley shook his head. “I don’t know. A portal, perhaps?” He placed the sheet of paper on top of one of the many piles he’d made, tapping another sheet atop a different pile. “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure what this is either.”
Buffy looked at the sheet, making a face. “It’s a glove”
Faith snorted. “Yeah, thank you Miss states-the obvious.”
“Yes well, the question really is, what does it do?” Wes stood, checking his watch. “I have no doubt they’re both of great importance but perhaps we should continue this investigation tomorrow. You’ve both had a strenuous evening and we all need our rest.”
“Thank god.” Buffy yawned.
Faith nodded. “You want us look into anything else, boss man?”
Wesley smiled at the nickname. “Not to worry. Get some sleep. We’ll proceed tomorrow. I’m allowing you a bit of a lie in so be here by one o’clock.” He gestured towards the papers, standing. “I’ll take a look into that peculiar looking pair if I surface before noon.”
Buffy switched the computer off, sliding the USB key into a brown envelope and into a drawer in Wesley’s desk. “Thanks Wes.”
Faith grabbed her jacket, holding the door open for Buffy. “Sleep tight.”
“Oh, uh – ” Wesley’s voice stopped them in their tracks. “Could one of you possibly inform Cordy when she’s supposed to be in tomorrow? And ask her to advise Angel to come along?” He looked embarrassed. “I wouldn’t want her to miss out on any extra sleep but I certainly don’t want to interrupt – ”
“We got it Wes.” Buffy grinned. “I’ll text her.”
“Good thinking.” Faith said. “I bet they’ll still be going. All that vampire stamina – ”
“FAITH!”
***
They fell onto the bed, tangled up in each other as Cordy combed her fingers through the short, soft hair on Angel’s neck, licking the roof of his mouth. They rolled twice with her coming out on top, her fingers lacing through his and pinning him to the bed. She slammed her mouth into his, kissing him with a hungered ferocity.
Angel ran his fingers along the back of her bra, following the strap around the slim circumference of her body and resting his fingers gently on her nipples. She gasped into his mouth, arching her back and letting him undo the clasp. He peeled the lacy garment off her and cupped her breast with his hand. Cordy whimpered, her skin taut and aching as she pushed herself into his hand, her forehead hot against his as he rolled a nipple between his fingers.
Sparks of heat shot straight to her core, running through her veins and making her heart throb hotly in her chest. Cordelia plundered his lips, never realising how she was rocking against him until he began to move with her, seeking friction and building warmth.
He was gorgeous, his pale body a masterpiece of toned sinew and strong, steel bone. She kissed his chin, trailing her tongue along the skin below his jaw. She nipped at it gently, thrilled when he groaned beneath her, arching his hips against hers. She braced her hands on his shoulders, running them down his sides as she descended along his body, tasting him, warming him.
Angel’s mouth fell open as she scraped her teeth over a nipple, painting hot shapes over his abdomen with her tongue and teeth. She bit down lightly below his belly button and he hissed, winding his hands through her hair, holding her to him.
She felt wicked as she bit the inside of his thigh, smirking when he made a low, strangled noise in the back of his throat. Cordy sat up then, resting on his thighs, her fingers drawing soft whorls around his belly button.
“Cordelia…” Angel moaned, reaching for her.
“Hmm?” She murmured, wrapping her fingers around him. Angel bucked into her hand, growling and falling back against the bed, his teeth clenched as she began to work him, running her fingers up and down, torturously slow. She dipped her head, sucking the tip of his penis into her mouth, lips curling lightly when his groan shook the walls.
His hands clutched her thighs and he squeezed, hard enough to leave bruises. He pushed her forward, inching her towards him and where he most wanted to be, biting his lip when she pressed a thumb to the tip, her other hand increasing its pressure at the base.
“Don’t be a tease…” He whispered to her. Cordy’s eyes lit up and she smiled, a soft, mysterious smile that made him smile back as she finally took pity on him, raising her hips and lowering herself onto him, her eyes flickering shut at the intimate contact.
Slowly, she began to move, grinding down against him, her head thrown back in reckless abandon. Angel’s hands wandered aimlessly over her thighs, her hips, the smooth flatness of her stomach, giving her the reigns, letting her set the pace.
Cordelia slid her hands up his chest, between his pectorals and over his shoulders, his body sliding thickly against her. She leaned down and kissed him, smiling against his mouth when he cupped her face between his palms, unwilling to release her. She pulled away to breathe, her hips bucking when he kissed her chin, scraped his teeth down her throat and suckled.
Brilliant flashes glimmered across the ceiling like a quickening, her body arching as she whispered his name into his hair, the orgasm bursting through her. She slowed her movements, her lips fluttering over his closed eyelids, the bottom lip that was sucked into his mouth. Cordy pulled it into her own, biting down hard.
Angel’s eyes flashed open, gold and breathtaking, and Cordy realised with a thrill that she’d triggered something deep within him, something raw and dark and primal. A low growl rumbled through him as he wrapped his hands around her arms and flipped her over, pumping into her.
His movements were varied, fast and hard as he rode her, driving her into the mattress. Cordelia wrapped a leg around his thigh, biting her lip as the splendid pressure began to build in her womb once again, helpless when Angel curled a large hand around her wrists and lifted them over her head.
His hips pounded into her, his legs tangled with hers, and when he dipped his head and nipped the curve of her breast she cried out, coming with him in a rush of dizziness and ecstasy, both collapsing sated against the sheets.
Cordy breathed heavily, unable to do much other than just lay there, her body in a state of euphoric stupor. After a few seconds, Angel pulled out of her, ignoring her little whine and gently moving to lay beside her. He wrapped an arm around her, sliding his nose against her cheek and Cordelia laughed softly when he threw his leg over her thighs, cocooning her with his body.
“I see what you mean about the view.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to her temple, his eyes never leaving her face as he spooned himself around her.
Butterflies fluttered in her belly and Cordy turned in his arms, wrapping her own around his waist and settling her head on his shoulder. She kissed him once, twice, three times on the mouth, circling his nose with hers. “I see what you mean about the perks.”
***
It was just past midnight when Xander walked through his front door, his body weighed down with fatigue. It had been hectic and hot at the building site all day, the combined roar of engines and the sweltering, blistering heat not doing much to ease the bone-deep ache generated by lifting and drilling. All of which should’ve meant that he’d make a beeline for home, steam-clean his weary body, and fall asleep on the couch with a cold beer in one hand and the TV remote in the other like every other red-blooded working stiff in America.
Instead, he’d spent the last few hours driving his truck aimlessly around the hills above Los Angeles with the radio turned up and his cell phone turned off. Not that he was chicken or anything. But it suddenly seemed like a good idea for him to be too busy to talk to anybody—oh, say Faith, for example—and an even better notion that he not be thinking about Buffy—which, of course, he definitely was not.
Heck, if avoiding was Olympic sport, Alexander Lavelle Harris was a gold medallist.
He threw his keys on the table and his jacket in the general direction of the coat rack. The flashing light of the answering machine caught his eye. It mocked him from atop its plastic pedestal, silently blinking its message: “Resistance is futile. Surrender to your fate.” He sighed and pressed the playback button, reaching for a beer as the recorded voice sounded.
“You have two new messages. First message received today at 11:38 p.m…”
“Hey, sexy man.” Faith’s husky voice rolled smoothly through the speaker, and Xander had to smile. Okay, so he’d been avoiding her call, but he wasn’t dead. “Congrats on your secret spy mission. What do you say we celebrate? Drinks at my place tomorrow, say 7 -ish? Notice I said drinks, NOT dinner – not cooking, cause Betty Crocker I’m not.” She made a dramatic kissing sound and Xander grinned. “But I promise you won’t be disappointed. Don’t be late.”
The machine beeped and Xander felt a sudden wave of nerves wash over him. Up until now, Faith and him had kept things pretty light. Heavy on the flirting, very public, nothing that hinted it could go anywhere remotely serious. Now she wanted… what, exactly? God, why was he analyzing this like it was rocket science? Faith was sexy and fun and spontaneous and totally lacking the girl-games that usually made guys pull their hair out at the roots. If she wanted to get a step closer naked and sweaty, who was he to question it? He was a guy, for God’s sake, and this was the ultimate rhetorical question!
Anxious and a little queasy, Xander collapsed into his favourite chair, twisting the top off his beer. He took a swig, sighing deeply as the cold, soothing liquid rolled down his throat. It didn’t do a lot to calm his unease but it helped. He pressed the bottle to his head, closing his eyes. If the idea of sex with a beautiful woman gave him pause, then there was seriously something wrong with him. Proof that his parents were right after all and he really was a complete and total idiot.
“Second message, received today at 11:46 p.m…”
“Hey, you.” Buffy’s soft voice jerked Xander out of his reverie and he sat up straighter in his seat. “I just, I called to say—” she paused, and Xander heard her sharp intake of breath. “You were amazing today, Xander.”
His heart jerked almost violently in his chest and he was tempted to roll his eyes at its reaction to a likely innocent statement.
“I mean, you always are. I really don’t tell you that enough,” Buffy continued. “And I’m really proud of you. You and I… well, we’re kinda like Bonnie and Clyde.” She giggled at her own words and Xander smiled widely, butterflies fluttering wildly in his tummy. “Anyway, I just called to say how glad I am that you’re in my life. I know you’re probably rolling your eyes and wondering what I’ve been smoking but I just….” She paused, and for several seconds she said nothing. Then, “I love you, Xander. Uh, that’s it, really. I… I guess I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow.”
She hung up. Just like that, she tilted his whole world off-balance with a few words, and then she hung up.
Xander stared at the machine, momentarily immobile. His heart hammered, bursting against its confines, and yet he had no real idea what Buffy’s message meant. Was it supposed to show how she really felt about him—felt, as in new and complicated and hitherto we-don’t-go-there kinda felt? Or was he just reading too much into it because, hey, he’d only pined about the whole unrequited feelings issue for as long as he could remember.
But there was something in her voice, something he’d never heard before, and he could feel his blood humming from the possibility that there was in fact something there, something he’d dreamed about his entire adult life.
What if something really was different this time? What if she’d realized, after all these years, that he was wasn’t just some totally non-sexual and harmless male that was her friend and only a friend? And if she did, why now? What had changed? Had he done something to give it all away? Not likely, because he’d become an expert at hiding how he felt a long time ago out of sheer self-preservation. Xander feared that he would always love her, no matter what. He’d never had a serious enough relationship to move past his feelings for her. But then there was Faith, and—
Stop, stop, STOP! “Arrgh-ah!” he groaned loudly, and as though realizing its own absence, his brain suddenly clicked into gear. He downed his beer and stood forcefully, striding towards the bathroom. He was with Faith now. Buffy was his best friend, and while she may love him, she was not in love with him.
It didn’t hurt any less to admit it—again—and what made it worse this time was that Xander no longer knew what to believe. He was so sure he’d heard something different in Buffy’s voice, and when he thought about it hard enough, seen something shift in her eyes, in the way she had behaved over the last week. But he’d nursed that particular false hope too many times before to give into it now.
The anxiousness that had reared its ugly head at Faith’s message surfaced again and Xander gripped the sink, staring at his reflection in the mirror. “Get a grip, Harris,” he muttered.
His eyes grew suddenly serious and somehow uncertain at the same time. His reflection stared back at him, a little lost, the love in his heart as bold as ever and Buffy’s straight-forward yet baffling message still wringing in his ears. For the millionth time that evening Xander wondered what the hell was wrong with him.
Finally, he pushed away from the sink and gave his mirror image and soft, emphatic order. “Just get over it already.”
