Closet Shenanigans.

Title: Closet Shenanigans
Author: Gabriella
Posted: 11-27-2003
Rating: NC-17
Category: Smut
Content: A/C
Summary: Smut. In a broom closet. At Wolfram & Hart.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: Just ask
Notes: Daisy wanted random C/A smut (as you do) and she asked for the following:
C/A smut that’s set in a broom closet at Wolfram and Hart: –Incredibly horny/seductive Angel with wandering hands. –Cordelia trying to be annoyed at him but failing miserably.–Happy happy joy joy smut. –Season 3? It doesn’t matter really. –I really want Angel to get his foot stuck in a bucket. I don’t know why, I just do.

The fabric of the black skirt clung enticingly to her skin as she walked, every move drawing his eyes to that wonderful part of her body. It swayed seductively from side to side as she strolled along, pen in one hand, clipboard in the other, hazel eyes peering out from between elegant frames that made her look every bit the part she was attempting to play.

He glanced back down to the perfect curve of her ass, swallowing hard when she turned a corner and the material gripped tightly at her perfect skin. If he looked hard enough he could make out the soft line in between –

Angel slammed into the wall.

“Angel!” Cordelia whispered angrily, eyes darting around to see if anyone had noticed them. She hurried over to him, grabbing his arm and pulling him up. “What the hell are you doing?”

“Ow.” Angel said, rubbing his injured forehead. He glanced at her, wincing when he received an unaltered glare. “Ow?”

Cordelia sighed. “Are you alright?”

“No.” Angel muttered like a small child, scrunching up his nose and rubbing consistent circles into his head. Then suddenly he broke into a tiny smirk, the same one that always made her knees weak.


Angel took a step closer to her and pressed his body close to hers, regardless of the fact that they were undercover *and* in the middle of an evil law firm. “Might make it alright if you kiss it better.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes and stepped away from him, turning her back so he wouldn’t see the smile that crept onto her face. “We’re kinda in the middle of something.”

Angel followed her as she began to walk along the empty corridor, sticking close to her back. He bent down, his mouth close to her ear. “We could be in the middle of something fun.”


“You know you want to…”

“I really don’t.”

Angel smirked and came to stand to the side of her, slipping his hand slyly down her back and over her ass. Cordelia gasped. “Come on Cordy, you love the thrill of public places and getting caught – ”

“NOT evil public places – ”

“This is Wolfram & Hart. I’m sure they have a couch free – ”

“Absolutely not.”

“I’ll do that thing with my – ”

Cordy whipped around and pinned him with a glare. “Case now. Raging hormones later. Comprendez?”

Angel pouted. Cordelia smirked at him, turning around and ignoring him completely. She knew he was staring at her and the thought made a rush of heat hit her body like a bucket of hot water. Angel was right, the idea *did* have a certain appeal to it…NO! Wesley would kill them. They had a job to do. But it was so hard…

Cordy bit her lip and turned her head, a jolt of arousal shooting through her when she caught Angel’s eye, his gaze smouldering. She quickly looked away and quickened her pace, unsure of what either of them would do if they got any closer to each other.

Angel’s eyes narrowed when Cordy began distancing herself from him. Did she really think that would hold him off? His eyes darted along the corridor, something fiery lighting up in them when they landed on a rich, mahogany door in the wall with a small gold panel saying the words ‘janitor’s closet’ on its surface.

“This is all your fault Cordy.” Angel smirked, striding towards Cordelia’s back. “You shouldn’t have worn that skirt…”


Lilah jerked her head up when her phone rang, rolling her eyes at her edginess. She picked it up. “Lilah Morgan.”

“Miss Morgan, Mr Linwood would like to speak with you. Please hold, I’ll put you right through.” The secretary’s perky voice faded and Lilah sighed when she heard the standard ‘hold’ music. Then the music stopped and Linwood’s voice sounded through the earpiece.



“You may want to switch your monitor on.”

Lilah raised an eyebrow, doing as he said. “Why would I – Oh my God!”

“I thought you’d say that.” She could almost see Linwood’s smirk. “Now, since he’s clever enough to get past the vampire detectors, and stupid enough to actually willingly come into this firm, do me a favour and get the bastard into custody.”

Lilah barely heard him, she was too busy staring at the screen, her jaw somewhere near the surface of the table. “Why the hell is he pulling her into the broom closet?”


“Angel!” Cordelia yelped when her arm was grabbed and she was pulled out of the light, into the darkness. “Stupid, compulsive – where the hell are we?”

“A closet.” Angel said, as though it was the most normal thing in the world, hands settling on either side of her waist and steering her hips towards him.

“A closet?” Cordelia cried, smacking him upside the head. “Why the hell are we in a closet?”

“Ow.” Angel pulled her flush, his large hands coming up to palm her face. “You’ve done enough damage to my head today, don’t ya think?”

Cordelia glared at him…or the big dark space where she assumed he stood, considering the fact that she couldn’t see anything. “Not nearly enough.”

Angel snorted, running his lips softly, barely over her face, a whisper of the touch he longed to impose on her, a whisper of what she reluctantly wished he would. “I love you.”

Cordelia felt her heart flip in her chest but she continued to glare at him, even when her eyes closed so that he could place butterfly kisses on each lid. “Don’t think sweet nothings are gonna get you out of this. Or get you anything, for that matter.”

“I beg to differ…” Angel whispered, softly nipping at the curve of her jaw, his tongue tracing a path up to her ear. Cordelia shivered when his lips moved against her ear. “I think I might get something.”

Cordy closed her eyes. “Angel, we’re on a case – ”

“We’ll get back to it.” Angel murmured, busy peppering her throat with kisses. He unbuttoned the first few buttons on her shirt, kissing the exposed skin.

She sighed, her hands moving of their own accord and settling on the small of his back, bringing him closer. “Why are you doing this to me?”

Angel smiled softly, nipping her collarbone, her neck, her lips. “Because I want you.” He nuzzled his nose into her cheek, dragging one hand through her hair and tilting her head back, staring into her eyes. “Because I love you.”

“Damn you.” Cordelia whispered half heartedly, second before her mouth was plundering by him, cool, pliable lips pulling at her own, his tongue exploring every nook and cranny of her mouth even though he had visited a hundred times before.

She slid her hands down the black blazer he wore, sliding them back up along the fabric of his shirt and slipping them underneath the blazer once again, slowly sliding it off his shoulders. When she pulled away to breath, she curled her fingers around the noose of his tie, smiling coyly at him from underneath her lashes.

“I like this tie.” She pulled on the tie and he came stumbling towards her, hands coming up to rest on either side of her head. “Too bad it has to go.”

She pulled him again and his lips feel onto hers, so hard their teeth clicked. Cordelia loosened the tie and pulled it out of the noose, using both ends to pull him even closer. Angel complied willingly, gasping and arching when her nails ran up his sides and under his arms, hands curling around his shoulders. Her lips latched onto his neck, suckling lightly at the skin. She smirked when she heard him growl.

Cordelia slowly undid his shirt, pushing the material away from his chest and letting it settle over his shoulders. It fell in a puddle on the floor, but she didn’t see where. It was too dark, the only light evident from underneath the door and the yellow glow in Angel’s eyes. Cordelia nipped at his neck again, running her lips casually down the hollow of his throat, the steel of his collarbone, the landscape of his chest.

“God – ” Angel choked, his eyes closing and his head falling back as one nipple was bathed in the warm liquid heat emanating from Cordelia’s mouth. She sucked delicately at him, trailing her teeth over the hardened bud. Her hands walked down his chest and settled on his belt buckle, unfastening it and pulling it out of the loop. She yanked the zip down, pushing his slacks down and descending along his body till she was on her knees.

She peeled away his boxers slowly, torturously, only to have strong hands curl around her upper arms and yank her up, face to face with Angel’s pained face.

“There’s no time.” He whispered urgently, pulling at the edge of her skirt, sliding the material up, up, up along her legs. The material was pliant under his hands and he bunched it around her waist, slipping her panties down her legs until they gave in to gravity and pooled around her feet.

Angel slid his hands down her back and curled them around the ass he’d been dying to get his hands on from the moment she came out of her apartment dressed in the skirt that was now around her waist. He lifted her up and she immediately wrapped her legs around him, cradling his head in her hands.

“This is so wrong…” Cordelia muttered, curling her hand in his hair and bringing his lips to hers.

“Maybe it’s the influence of the evil law firm.” Angel retorted, kissing her once, twice, then gently guiding himself into her, pressing her into the wall.

Cordelia’s head fell back and she cried out at sensation of being filled so completely, her hands sliding down Angel’s face, over his neck and grasping at his shoulders for purchase, for balance. She flexed her calves and pulled him deeper into the v of her thighs, loving the shudder that went through him as her muscles clenched tightly around him.

Angel drove his hips into her, each thrust making stars dance brightly behind his eyelids and heat burst out of every cell in his body. Cordelia’s heat was closed tightly around him and there was no place he’d rather be. She was so beautiful, so alive, so vibrant, so –

“Oh crap!” Angel stumbled slightly, barely maintaining his hold on Cordelia who cried out at the sudden loss of balance. He grasped at the wall and managed to steady himself. Cordelia laced her arms around his neck tightly until he stood upright once again. Then she smacked him.

“What the hell was that?” She gasped, body and face flushed and frustrated with arousal. “I thought you were meant to be a vampire. All sleek and freakin’ sturdy. If this is some sort of lame ass joke about my weight – ”

“My foot got stuck.” Angel mumbled, embarrassed.

Cordelia raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“My foot.” Angel glanced at her through the darkness, thankful that she couldn’t see his mortified face. “It’s…it’s stuck in something. I think it’s a bucket or something.”

Cordelia blinked. “Your foot is stuck in a bucket?”

Angel nodded, then rolled his eyes. She couldn’t see him. “Yeah.” He cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

Cordelia blinked again, a small smile creeping onto her face. Then she snorted. Soon she was laughing so hard she was gasping for breath.

Angel glowered. As much as he loved seeing her smile, he’d prefer for it not to be at his expense. “Cordelia – ”

“Ooh, scary voice!” Cordelia shrieked with laughter, wrapping her arms around him and burying her shaking face in his neck. She stopped suddenly, kissing his neck, his cheek, and then resting her forehead against his own, a large grin still evident on her face. “Get your foot outta the bucket, Angel. We’re kinda in the middle of something, hmm?”

Angel frowned, then curled a strong arm around her waist, bending down so that he was close to squatting. An average man would have dropped her by now. Luckily Angel had the super human strength…

“It’s stuck.” Angel growled, leaning up slightly. “Okay, hold on…” Cordelia felt his arm tug hard at something but to no avail. She rolled her eyes and removed one leg from around his waist, her foot feeling around for whatever it was that had Angel’s foot.

“It is a bucket.” Her foot found the circular rim of the plastic bucket and she placed it inside, shoving hard. Angel stumbled again and she knew the bucket had come loose. Unfortunately, this time Angel had nothing to grab onto, and he went toppling backwards, taking her with him. His body cushioned her fall but she was too busy giggling to even notice the drop.

Angel glanced at her, a smile creeping onto his face. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, palming her cheek. “You’re so beautiful.”

Something soft passed behind Cordelia’s eyes but her tone was teasing. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were just saying that to get the mood back.”

Angel smirked, shrugging. “Well yeah.”

Cordy smacked his arm, leaning up and pressing her lips firmly to his, smiling against his mouth when his hands slid under her jacket and shirt to trace the tattoo on the small of her back. She gasped when he thrust up into her, flinching with pleasure as he began to speed up and her body remembered the arousal it had temporarily forgotten when Angel had got his foot stuck in a bucket.

Angel slid one hand around her waist, under the bunched up skirt and over the front of her upper thigh, his fingers drawing him closer and closer to heat that was surrounding him. He circled her clit with his finger, once, twice, revelling in the moans he drew out of her, then rubbed it between two fingers, smirking when her mouth dropped open and she gasped loudly, throwing her head back in ecstasy.

Cordelia flung her head forward, dragging her nails down Angel’s exposed chest and bending down. She trailed kisses up the barely visible line between his pectorals, dragging her teeth back down it. Angel growled and arched, the action driving his cock even deeper into her. Cordelia slammed her hips down against him, stars dancing behind her eyes when her clit banged roughly into his pubic bone.

Angel panted when Cordy lifted his hand, sucking his fingers alternatively into her mouth. She moaned, loud and throaty, biting down on his finger and guiding his hand down her chest, her stomach, under her skirt. The image of Cordelia riding him, running her hands through her now sweaty hair, moving up, down, up, down, was enough to drive Angel over the edge. She was dancing with him in the most intimate way, setting her own rhythm but allowing him to lead her into perfect rapture.

When Angel rubbed her clit between his fingers again, her body exploded, as did his, and they came together, every nerve ending igniting and bursting with fulfilled energy and lust. Cordy collapsed on top of him, breathing heavily, smiling when Angel kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms around her.

“That was fun.” She admitted, rolling her eyes when he chuckled beneath her.

“Told you.”

“Dumb – ”

Cordelia was cut off because the door of the closet was suddenly yanked opened to reveal several armed guards and a horrified looking Lilah.

“God! My eyes!” Lilah immediately turned her back to the couple, rolling her eyes when the guards did the same. “Seize them!”

Nobody moved.

“What the hell are you morons waiting for?” Lilah yelped indignantly. “New year?”

“I d-don’t wanna look.” One of the guards answered timidly, flinching when a glaring Lilah turned on him.

“You must be under the illusion that I care.” Lilah said coldly, her eyes darting around the other guards. “That goes for all of you!”

Another guard stepped up, the visual of grabbing a naked man frightening him enough that he had the courage to stand up to the irate lawyer. “With all due respect Miss Morgan – ”

“Oh for crap’s sake!” Angel growled, quickly sitting up with Cordy in his arms. His hand jerked out and curled around the door handle, pulling it towards him. “While you’re making a decision…”

He slammed the door shut and before Lilah could even open her mouth to protest, she heard the lock click into place. She rushed forward, twisting and turning the door handle to no avail. It was firmly locked from the inside.

“Shoot it down!” Lilah yelled angrily, taking a few steps back and pointing at the handle.

“Wha – ”

“Do I have to do everything myself?” Lilah quickly turned to the guard on her left and grabbed the gun that hung loosely on the belt around his waist. She swivelled, facing the door and aiming for the handle, shooting, once, twice, thrice…

Screams rung out through the office and several guards ducked, clamping their hands over their ears at the loud, repetitive bangs that echoed along the corridor. Lilah threw the gun down and fiercely yanked open the door once the bullets broke through the lock, eyes darting around the broom closet nervously.

It was empty.

Lilah glanced up towards the ceiling where a large open air vent stared defiantly back down at her. The striped metal covering was sprawled in the far corner of the closet floor.

“Son of a – ”



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