Part 16
Cordelia peered out into the darkness, her chin resting on the cushion of her arms. She hmmphed and wiped at foggy gleam her breath made. She wiggled at her position on the sofa, inching her knees further from the window but still leaned back on the sill.
That hadn’t been too bad. Right. She raised her eyes upwards. She and Buffy had managed to remain civil in front of Mrs. Summers. Cordelia smiled a little. It had been nice to see Buffy’s mom again, healthy and alive.
Cordelia always liked Mrs. Summers and weirdly Mrs. Summers had always been nice to Cordy. Then again Joyce Summers was just one of those people that truly had a good heart. She was nice to everybody. Whatever. Cordelia liked Buffy’s mother – her daughter on the other hand, well Hmmph.
Cordelia frowned. What was it with her and Buffy? They couldn’t be in same room together without starting to snipe at each other. Even now, when Cordelia appreciated Buffy’s courage and strength the slayer could still annoy the hell out of Cordelia. The blonde couldn’t help but revert to her patented whine- What about me? Sure, Buffy was the chosen one, but hell there were other people in the world too.
Cordelia shook her head. She knew for a fact that Buffy did care for others. And Cordelia knew for a fact that she had changed, yet, Cordy couldn’t seem to remember it when confronted with the 17 year old Buffy. It was like they brought out the worse in each other. Cordelia couldn’t help but wonder if that was true in 2002. Cordelia hadn’t actually really talked to the slayer since Cordelia left Sunnydale. Willow had always been the primary contact between Sunnydale and LA.
Oh well. It didn’t matter now. Cordelia wasn’t supposed to try to be best friends with the slayer, just to get Buffy to believe that Cordy was scared of Angelus and had to stay at her house. Actually that hadn’t been that hard. Buffy never did have a high opinion of Cordelia’s courage and Cordy was truly scared of Angelus.
Whatever the disaster of the evening, Cordy’s bitching forced Buffy up into her room, probably still on the phone complaining with Willow.
And Cordelia was allowed the freedom of the couch and the window.
Cordelia shook away her thoughts and concentrated on the darkness outside, hoping to see Angel. Home. God, she was so ready to go home.
Cordelia gasped, nausea flooding her body bringing a stinging pain to her chest. She choked on her scream unable to stop the tears that automatically streamed down her face. Angel. Something had happened to Angel.
The thought filled her mind as her body ached and shook. The pain, the surety of her knowledge was a potent as if it were a vision. She scrambled to her feet, brushing at her tears needing to get out of the house.
She had to find Angel.
***
Cordelia ran not knowing where her feet were taking her just allowing the ache to carry her through the streets of Sunnydale.
She was brought up short by strong arms pressing her into a solid body. Tears blurred as she gasped out trying to struggle.
“Cordelia. What happened? What’s wrong?”
Cordelia blinked as the deep voice broke through her need to keep running. “Angel?” She whispered, glancing up into the handsome face of the vampire.
“It’s me. See, sweater.” He pulled back a little.
Cordelia stared at her father’s sweater, the material too snug for the vampire’s broad chest. She tentatively reached out to test the fabric. Cashmere. She gulped. “I thought…I…” She gave a worried smile into the dark eyes. “You’re okay?”
“Fine.”
“You’re not hurt.”
“No.”
“The Angelus duo.”
“Everything is okay. All we have to do now is go home.”
“Home.” Cordelia nodded. Cordelia bit her lip. Angel was standing in front of her perfectly fine but the ache and the dread were still flowing through her heart. “Angel B?”
“Gone to wait for his future- the right one.”
“He…okay, right.” Cordelia blew out a burst of air. It must have been nerves. The waiting finally had gotten too much and she freaked.
“Cordelia, what happened? Did you have a vision?”
“Uh, no.”
Angel studied the young woman. She was agitated and worried still. She wasn’t acting at all like he expected. Angel expected a kiss or a hug at least. Had the other vampire been right?
He watched as her brow furrowed up studying him. What had he done wrong?
“Cordy?”
“Hmm, nothing,” she shook her head. “So, we just do the spell?”
“We’ll go back to your house.”
She nodded, glancing again up at the vampire. “So, the not yelling thing is new.”
Angel stilled. Yelling? He studied the young woman. A glimmer of understanding flickered. “Yelling would only aggravate my migraine and ulcers.”
“You don’t….”
Angel turned putting his finger to her lips. “I do when you don’t listen to me and run out into the middle of the night leaving the safety of Buffy’s house.”
“I…”
“No, Cordelia. You can explain and maybe I won’t yell maybe I will. But whichever, it will be done when we are home and not in the middle of Sunnydale.”
“Hmmph. Well, don’t forget I’m mad too.”
“I won’t.” Angel felt a smile emerge. “I love you.”
Cordelia smiled. “Hmmph, that won’t help you for stuffing me in a bathroom.”
Angel laughed. “Come on. Let’s get home.” He grabbed at her hand.
Cordelia bit her lip as the vampire pulled her along. The ache wasn’t going away.
Part 17
“Wesley,” Fred yelled louder than was needed. Wesley poked his head out of his office staring where the young woman pointed.
Gunn practically jumped the stairs, taking the steps three at a time to get to Fred’s yell.
“Is that what I think it is.” Gunn stopped in front of the cackling air and expanding tear in the hotel’s atmosphere.
“The Portal is opening,” Wesley confirmed.
“Angel and Cordy are coming home.” Fred wrung her hands.
“I hope. Charles, the weapons as a precaution.”
Gunn got the tranquilizer guns handing one to Wesley.
The trio stood anxious waiting for the portal to fully form. Wesley and Gunn raised their guns as a figure in a leather duster jumped through.
The vampire paused staring at the weapons then up at the faces of the men. “Wesley, Gunn?”
“Angel,” Wesley asked tentatively.
“Yes.” He raised the glowing orb and smiled. “And more importantly Cordy.”
Wesley let out a grateful sigh. “Thank god,” he went to get the orb, only stopping at Angel’s growl.
“Of course, upstairs. Cordelia will be fine, all we have to do is break the orb.”
“Shit, throw it on the ground and stomp it.” Gunn suggested. “Or not.” He added at the vampire’s other growl as he followed Wesley up the staircase.
“What I say?”
Fred rolled her eyes as she moved behind Angel. “You just told Angel to stomp all over Cordy’s soul.”
Gunn nodded. “Oh, when you put it like that I deserved the growl.”
“Yep.” Fred shot over her shoulder. “Are you coming?”
“Hell yeah.”
***
Angel and the rest of Angel’s Investigations surrounded the lone figure on the bed.
“Angel,” Wesley called.
Angel stared. It was Cordelia but not. He needed time. “Alone.”
Wesley paused and looked at the others. Wesley was sure that his expression matched their disappointed ones. They all wanted to be there when Cordelia woke up. He sighed and nodded. Angel had been through a lot. Wesley knew how frantic the vampire had been at the realization that Cordelia was alone facing two Angelus. Angel had the right.
“All you have to is break the orb,” Wesley repeated. “And when you both are ready, we all would like to hear about what happened.” He urged the others out of the room.
“Wes,” Gunn whispered.
“No. Let them be alone. After all, everything is fine. We took the wafers and my memory is the same,” he looked to the others. Gunn nodded along with Fred.
The young woman shrugged. “It hasn’t even been an hour since he left.”
Gunn wiped a hand over his head. “This time shit freaks me out.”
“Yes.” Wesley agreed. “Now that Cordelia and Angel are home, it’s time we devise a way for Wolfram & Hart not to utilize the portal’s again.”
“I’m all….”
“Other than blowing up the law firm.”
“It would work.”
“It’s short term. We need a long term solution.”
“Blowing them back to hell, seems pretty long term to my way of thinking,” Gunn grumbled to Fred as they followed Wesley back down the stairs.
Part 18
Angel sat on the edge of the bed and placed the orb on the night side table. He looked around, scenting the room. It was his and Cordy’s. His memory wasn’t affected. He didn’t recognize any of it, except the young woman on the bed. His hand brushed at the hair, running his fingers through the strands.
Shorter. He studied the body. It was fuller more rounded than the teenage version. Different but the same. Angel brushed at the marks on the delicate neck, lowering his face. Exactly the same. His Cordelia. He lifted up handling the orb in his palm staring at the glow. Truly his Cordelia. The vampire closed his fist around the fragile glass.
Cordelia shot up on the bed her eyes wide. “Angel.”
“Here.” He held out his hands. “You’re home.”
Cordelia stared at the vampire, then down at her body. She jumped out of the bed running to the full-length mirror. She patted at her hair. “Yep.” She yanked up her shirt. “It’s back.” She said happily, running her fingers over her scar.
Angel stood watching the lone reflection in the mirror. His eyes narrowed at the mar on her beautiful skin. What the hell was that? What caused that pain? It better be dead whatever it was.
“Weird,” Cordelia shot over her shoulder. “That I’d actually be glad to have Xander’s break up reminder on me, uh.”
Angel growled. The moron did that to her. He needed to quietly check with Wesley to find out if the boy was still alive and if so why.
“The sun,” She laughed. “It’s really me.”
Angel’s eyes went to the small of her back. It was a sun, tucked in the curve of Cordelia’s backside a magnet for the eyes, begging to be touched.
So much he didn’t know, so much he wanted so badly to learn. “You’re home.” He repeated.
“I’m home. We’re home,” she turned staring up at the handsome vampire. She frowned. Okay, she was happy, no doubt about it, but the ache was still there. “Are you sure you weren’t hurt,” she patted at the vampire’s chest and stomach, trying to find the reason for her angst.
“I told you I was fine.” He held her hands up.
“Yeah, you did, but sometimes you’ve been known to fib a bit about that.”
Angel’s lips twitched in the beginnings of a smile. A smile. Angel had done it. He was going to have the future he wanted.
“Not this time. Cordy,”
“Hmm.”
“Can I please kiss you?”
Cordelia crinkled her brow. “Since when have you asked?” She giggled. “Wow, time in Sunnydale has made a gentleman out of the vamp.”
Angel frowned. How had the vampire with a soul treated her? Had he no consideration of the value of the woman.
“Oh, don’t scowl, of course you can. I’ve been waiting for like ages.”
Ages. God, she didn’t even know the meaning of the word. Angel leaned in, his hands gently cupping her face, marveling at the colors flashing in the hazel eyes. He touched his lips against the softer ones. He tensed waiting for the scream, the fear. He blinked as he got more laughter.
Cordelia pushed away his soft kiss. “Gee, I won’t break.”
Angel stared. She hadn’t screamed. “I…no, you won’t will you. Too strong.” He leaned back in this time taking the lips, pressing against them, moving his as his tongue teased. Angel felt weak in the knees as she responded, pushing her body in, meeting his questing tongue, allowing him to taste. Angel got lost in the kiss, reliving the flavor that had driven his demon wild.
The soft moans became pleas of fear. Angel jerked up.
“Angel, what?” Cordelia blinked up.
Angel shook his head. She still hadn’t screamed. It was just his imagination.
“Angel, are you all right?” Cordelia puzzled her brow as she caressed the strong planes of his face. Something wasn’t right. Angel was acting weird and she still had that strange aching sadness. She had to talk to Wesley. Maybe they screwed up again somehow.
“I…I just want to love you.”
“Okay with me, but you seem…”
“I just…”
“Scared to, uh. I hate these time trips. We never seem to know if we are coming or going.”
Angel nodded, latching on to the excuse. “Let’s just,” he stared at the soft lips. “Kiss again.”
Cordelia nodded. “And again, again.”
“You talk too much.” He raised a brow.
Cordelia laughed. “There’s my Angel.” She cupped his face and kissed, opening her mouth giving the joining depth and texture.
Angel staggered, wrapping his arm around the young woman’s waist as he stumbled back on the bed. She was kissing him. There was passion and it was for him. No other. He kissed back, giving her everything-need, desire, love- coating it with his mouth and tongue. The guilt and screams were being pushed away as the longing took over.
Cordelia pushed away the sense of wrongness because it was right. She was home with Angel. Everything would be fine.
***
Cordelia moved tentatively drawing her body out from under Angel’s. She plopped her body on to the chair and stared at the sleeping vampire. She didn’t understand. The ache was still present. The knowing that something had happened to Angel but Angel was there. She just made love to him. Cordelia just saw every part of his body and he hadn’t been injured. So, why wasn’t she ecstatic? Something was wrong.
She watched the sleeping form as she pulled on some clothes. She just hoped that Wesley was still in the hotel. The feelings she was having were too upsetting, too real to ignore.
***
“Oh good, you are still here.” She peeked into Wesley’s office.
The man looked up adjusting his glasses. “Cordy,” he stood, opening his arms for a hug.
Cordelia happily obliged. This felt right, Wesley holding her. Her friend. It felt more right than the love making upstairs.
“We missed you.” Wesley leaned back, a smile centered on his face.
“How long were we gone?”
“An hour, but it was a really long hour.”
“I can imagine.” She frowned.
“Cordy, what is it?” Wesley sat sensing the young woman’s unease. He was sure that the soul spell hadn’t been painful. Oh lord, what if his research had been wrong.
Cordelia curled up in one of the chairs. “I’m not sure, maybe nothing. I just don’t know.”
“Cordy?” Wesley leaned in over the desk getting concerned.
Cordelia took a deep breath. “It doesn’t seem right.” She blurted out.
“What doesn’t?”
“Angel, me, it just doesn’t feel right.”
“Cordy, before we sent Angel after you- Gunn, Fred, and I took a potion, wafer rather, to retain our memories if some how Angel’s appearance in 1998 changed history so we could fix it. None of us have had any indication that our memories our invalid.”
“Which Angel?”
“Excuse me?”
“Angel A or Angel B?”
“Cordy?” Wesley was more than a little confused.
“Wesley, you sent an Angel from the future to warn me and our Angel about a screw up in the time line.”
Wesley leaned back in his chair. “I did?”
“Yeah, a dark broody souled Angel. One that existed because Angelus of 1998, him, had noticed me and put me in a coma.”
“Oh dear.” Wesley slumped and tried to think quickly. “But, you are here so the wafers and whatever I did worked.” He sat back up.
“That’s just it. Did it?”
“I…yes. Fred, Gunn, and I all remember. Angel, our Angel left only a few hours ago to find you. It actually had only been an hour but you and Angel have been upstairs for a while. Cordelia what do you think is wrong?”
Cordelia pulled up her knees not wanting to say her concerns out loud but she had to know. “Angel is acting different.”
“Different.” Wesley blinked and then moved to jump out of his seat. “Oh god, Angelus.”
“No.” Cordelia waved the man back in his seat. “No.” she repeated. “It’s just.”
“Cordy,” Wesley flopped back down in his chair.
“I…this personal okay.” She glared.
Wesley nodded.
“Since Angel and I said we loved each other and well, since….”
Wesley held up his hand. “Are you about to give me details of your sex lives?”
Cordelia blew out a breath of air. “Like I want to share, but Wesley something’s not right. Angel, no matter how dorky or whatever was never so…”
“Cordelia.”
“Wesley.” Cordelia had to make him understand. “Please just listen, have your blushes later, please.”
Wesley reluctantly nodded.
“Thank you. It’s just that upstairs just now- he was so loving- the same but different. Angel,” Cordelia paused and took another deep breath, her eyes driving hard into her friend. “If this turns out to be nothing, you keep this between us, you got it.” She demanded.
Wesley nodded and for the first time regretted his friendship with Cordelia. Why did she have to choose him for this? Why not Fred? Isn’t that what girl friends were for, sharing intimate details?
Cordelia licked her lips and plunged. “The first time we made love was after Angelus of 1898 and the marks. It was…”
Wesley resisted the urge to cover his ears.
“It was everything, Wesley. He loved me. I loved him. The marks, well, he fixed it so neither of us would ever think of Angelus. It was us, just us.”
Wesley blinked that wasn’t so bad. “And… I don’t…”
“I don’t either.” Cordelia hugged her knees closer. “Since then, well you know Angel, he’s been dorky, silly, overbearing, over protective…whenever I had a vision, he’d treat me like I was china even after you found the potion, right, you saw that, right?”
Wesley nodded.
“Okay, but, you see, when we were alone together making love, Angel had no dorkiness or mother hen routine, he knew that he could make me scream out….he knew that when…”
“Cordelia, stop” Wesley held up his hands. “Isn’t there a way you can tell me what you are trying to tell me with out going into details? You were starting off quite well, relatively speaking, anyway.”
“God, you are such an old maid. All I want to say is that,” she waved her hand to the ceiling. “It was wonderful, loving, everything, but not right. He was too scared or tentative or ….god what am I trying to say.” She glared at Wesley.
“I have no idea.”
“He treated me like I was fragile, like every touch had to be asked for, he wasn’t sure that I’d accept, he didn’t want to,” she brushed at her neck. “Or he just wouldn’t. I don’t know, Wesley, that wasn’t the vampire I’ve made love to for the last several months and he didn’t yell at me.”
Wesley blinked, trying to think. “Cordy, or you saying that you are having a problem with having wonderful sex with the person you love but it was too gentle, too tentative and he didn’t yell at you.”
Cordelia bit her lip. “Yeah, I guess.”
Wesley brushed at his head. “I don’t know what to say. You didn’t feel threatened by Angel, is that correct?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then.”
“It just wasn’t right…and what about the ache and the pain.”
“Oh god, he caused you pain, do I need to hear this, I know I don’t want too. Do I need to be worried, should I call Gunn?”
“Oh, get grip. No. In the past, in 1998, I was at Buffy’s, Angel and Angel B had shoved me over there to be safe. Angel told me to wait for him. But, while I was at Buffy’s….it almost like a vision, real, but different, the pain wasn’t in my head, but here,” she clutched at her chest. “I knew then that something had happened to Angel, I just knew it, but then I saw him and he was fine and he…it was okay…it was…”
Wesley glanced at tearing young woman. “Cordy, what is it?”
Cordelia gulped and brushed at her face. “I don’t think I love him any more. Something must have happened, something must have went wrong.”
“Cordy.”
“Wesley, he didn’t know my body, he didn’t know me. At least that’s how it felt. I don’t understand. He’s different or I’m different. I don’t know. But it’s not right. I feel him, I see him and wonder. I never wondered whether I loved him. But, now…I don’t know.”
Wesley brushed at his face. “Cordy, there is nothing to indicate that something went wrong during Angel’s 1998 trip.”
“Angel B” She shot out.
“Point. But, Fred, Gunn and I took the wafers, we obviously sent this B Angel to fix whatever happened. And it must have been fixed because nothing has changed since Angel left except you both are back.”
“But.”
“Cordy. I…” Wesley readjusted his glasses. “Cordy, both you and Angel have gone through a traumatizing experience. Angel went to a time where you were in danger from not one Angelus but two and now you tell me there was another Angel thrown in. That had to be difficult for him, just as it must have been difficult for you.
You know how Angel acted before when he interacted with Angelus. He was angry, guilty, and scared for you. It was double that this time and you- well, really Cordy, was it easy for you to face two Angelus’ knowing what they had planned for you, knowing that they were Angel.”
“I…”
“No, Cordy, both of you are feeling the effects. Don’t let that ruin your love for each other. Give it time.”
“So, you think it just a post traumatic thing a ma jig.”
“That would be my guess, yes.”
“Okay,” Cordelia got up her brow still furrowed. “You are sure?”
“Cordy, do you love Angel.”
Cordy’s mind went immediately to the vampire that save her from 1898 and threw her in the tub. The vampire that coddled her when she had a vision, the vampire that listened as if she was the only one that could speak, the vampire that was brave and loved her.
How could she not? “Of course.”
“Then yes, I am sure.”