Chapter Twenty-three:
Cordelia settled into Angel’s bed. She had put on one of Angel’s shirts to sleep in. She curled in the covers, bringing the shirt up to her face, trying to catch his scent. She couldn’t fall asleep. All her memories came flashing through her mind.
Part of her was glad that they were back. But another part, the part that was keeping her awake, wondered if it was a blessing or a curse. She had a lot of horrible memories and not that many happy ones. She started to make a checklist in her mind of happy vs. sad/terrifying.
The pony she got when she was six years old could definitely be put on the happy side. But on the sad side, her parents ignored her and left the maid to try to teach her to ride. Then of course she had to add every birthday, Christmas that they left her to the sad column.
So, she thought, childhood, sad memory. Next, she thought, high school popularity was it sad or happy? Sad, she thought, how could it be a happy memory, when it just made her realize how vain, selfish, and insecure she was really.
Realizing that she loved Xander was a happy memory, for all of 10 seconds. No, Xander was a sad, possibly even a terrifying memory, considering she ended up speared. She started to be happy, thinking she had found friends in Buffy, Willow, Xander, even in Giles. But then they disappointed her, just as she disappointed them.
Nope, she couldn’t think of one true happy memory of Sunnydale. And she thought; let’s not forget the terrifying moments of the hellmouth. There were vamps galore; namely Spike, Drusilla, the Master, and Angelus. Deaths galore; Jenny Calendar, Jesse, and all the other people who died, some she knew, some she didn’t; invisible girls, witch cheerleaders, giant snakes, mayor demons, deranged slayers and the list went on.
And what about the memories of LA, she thought. They were worse that than those of her happy hometown. Oh god, she thought, she had to find a happy memory somewhere. Doyle, she thought, his friendship was a good, no, make that a great memory, of course, until he got himself killed. Nope she was back to the sad column.
Maybe, it would have been better for her to have remained ignorant. She could have stayed in Seattle, worrying about nothing but keeping her head. She remembered Duncan’s handsome face. She might have even fallen in love with him.
No, she thought, memory or not, she had known that it wasn’t right to stay with Duncan. She needed to be in LA with her family.
Cordelia had loved Angel for a long time now. She knew that their relationship could only be one of friendship. But it didn’t matter. She belonged with him and Wesley. Their friendship made it worthwhile to be Cordelia Chase, bad memories and all, she finally realized falling happily to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-four:
Cordelia awoke suddenly. She looked immediately for her sword, swearing, until she realized that the buzzing in her head was coming from Duncan.
She fell back in bed, looking at the clock. She had been asleep for 3 hours. She felt…happy, she realized. She was home and her family was just beyond the bedroom door. Right behind the door, she thought, as she heard Angel and Wesley debate on whether to wake her.
“Guys, I am awake,” she yelled
Wesley poked his head in the door. “Yes…good…Duncan Macleod and that Brian person are here.”
“I am up.” Cordelia climbed out of Angel’s bed. She glanced at Wesley as he quickly closed the door. Her eyes widened, as the last thing she saw was not Wesley, but Angel right behind him, staring at her. What now, she thought, as she put her pants on.
“She is getting up,” said the former watcher.
Angel nodded and went into the kitchen. He tried to concentrate on making coffee, but all he could think about the image of Cordelia getting out of his bed, wearing his shirt. Her long legs showing below the shirttails. The top several buttons unclasped just enough to show a glimpse of the beautiful breasts hidden underneath.
Angel groaned, remembering the feel of holding her in his arms, feeling her breasts pressed against his chest and his tongue tasting her luscious lips.
“So brood guy, any coffee?” said the real version of his thoughts.
Angel jumped spilling the water out of the coffeepot. “Ok, unusually clumsily boy, we can make some downstairs.”
Angel stared at his shirt still on her body. Thankfully, for his libido’s sake, she had buttoned it so only the creamy skin around her collarbone was showing. Nope, it was not enough. Angel couldn’t decide whether he wanted to close the two remaining buttons or rip the shirt off her body.
“Angel, come on, Duncan and Brian are in the office. Wesley has already gone down.” Cordelia was oblivious to his thoughts.
“Duncan…Cordelia, you are not going with him,” he growled. If she argued with him, he would have to tear off the shirt and show her why she had to stay Angelus or no Angelus.
“Of course not,” she snorted. Angel still hadn’t moved.
“Come on ‘grrr’ guy.”
With a small smile and some disappointment at her quick agreement, he followed her to the elevator.
***
Cordelia was starting to feel uneasy. When she woke up, she promised herself that she was only going to think of Angel as her friend. She banished the sensation of being held in his arms, of feeling his lips…
Stop! She shouted to herself. She could do this. She thought she had been doing fairly well, until now. Angel kept staring at her shirt, of course, she thought, it wasn’t her shirt it was his. Cordelia knew how particular he was with his things.
“I’m sorry”
“What?” Angel had no clue why she was apologizing.
“Your shirt.” Tugging on the piece of clothing. “I didn’t pack anything before I came. I won’t get anything on it, I swear…By, the way is any of my stuff still around?”
“Uh…Oh” Angel realized that she was apologizing for wearing his shirt. “It’s fine, really. Your stuff is in the storage closet.”
“Great…Hi Duncan,” she said to the silent Immortal standing by the bookcase.
“Cordelia.”
She smiled at the use of her name. “Wesley, coffee? Oh wonderful.” Cordelia grabbed a cup of freshly brewed coffee. “Now,” she said to the roomful of silent people, “Come on, we have here two immortals, one vampire with a soul, and two watchers- one formerly of the vampire slayer type and one of the immortal kind. There has to be some conversation, questions, or small talk.”
“Yes, well…” Wesley cleared his throat. “I have more than a few questions. First, ” looking at Brian, “is your watcher’s council related to my former council. If your council is not related, how do you know about Sunnydale. If it is related, then why don’t I know about immortals; secondly, are we going to have to be concerned with you,” pointing at the Highlander, “taking Angel’s head or for that matter Cordelia’s in the near future…”
“Wesley,” Cordelia interrupted.
Wesley put up his hand. “We need to know. And finally, most importantly,” he said turning to the other watcher, “just who the hell do you think you are keeping Cordelia from us.”
Duncan answered Wesley’s second question, as Brian squirmed in his chair. “The vampire is safe…”
“His name is Angel,” interrupted Cordelia.
“…Angel. As for Cordelia…” He smiled at the girl. “I have no desire to fight her, I am not sure I would win.” He was rewarded with a big, bright smile.
“Fine,” the former watcher coughed, covering up the growl coming from the vampire sitting to his left.
“Brian, I think it is your turn,” urged Cordelia.
Brian glanced up to the expectant faces around him. He squirmed some more.
“Brian, please,” Cordelia asked gently. “I know that you did what you thought was for the best. And, I am truly grateful that you pulled me out of the ocean. Without you, I would be still drowning and probably insane. But you should have told me the truth. Don’t worry, I am not mad anymore.”
Wesley and Angel looked horrified at her words. They each in their own thoughts, imaged what she must have gone through.
“Cordelia…,” Angel started guiltily.
“Angel, stop, it wasn’t your fault, any of it, now shh…Brian is going to explain all that he knows to us aren’t you?” Cordelia smiled at her watcher.
Brian stared at her and remembered when he first interfered with her life. He knew then, as he knew now that he would always help her. Looking at the rest of the group, “The first watcher’s council..” He stopped as Wesley started to speak.
“Questions later,” admonished Cordelia, elbowing her friend gently.
Brian continued, “Please understand, that what I have learned or suspect is through guesswork. It has never been laid fully before me. I started looking when the council assigned me to watch Cordelia as a pre-immortal.” He paused. “It is not exactly known when the first council was formed. The first chronicles, were really just personal diaries of scholars and members of various religious orders.”
He acknowledged Wesley’s nod. “I discovered some chronicles that were not in the official library of the council. The volumes described strange and wondrous things, immortals, magic,…and dark images, creatures of the night that fed on the living and other sort of dark beings.” He glanced nervously at Angel.
“Brian, just continue, don’t worry about offending anyone, me for example,” said the vampire.
Brian nodded. “From what I could gather, the council were just some men that recognized the unnatural in the world and recorded their observations. But as the members and volumes grew, they decided to organize. The group started to collect volumes of men that would not die, other beings that were not human and forces that were more that just some abstract theory of evil.
They found that evil existed and worked actively to disrupt or conquer humanity. The group came at cross-purposes, some members wanted to observe, thinking that they did not have the right to interfere with the order of life or it’s history; while others felt that they needed to be more active in protecting humanity from the evil that existed.”
He took a deep breath. “I am really only speculating. But I think that is when the council split, some to observe, some to interfere. I do know that in ‘my’ council the first ‘official’ chronicles do not mention vampires or any other demons, only men who did not die. The volumes merely recorded the many lives of those beings. And no one interfered, that was, and still is the council’s primary rule. And for the most part, in a general sense, it was an easy rule to abide. Most immortals don’t attack humanity on a whole; it seems that their main focus is to live and obtain the ‘prize’.”
Wesley did interrupt this time, “But the prize, an all powerful immortal, that could be very dangerous for humanity.”
“Maybe, and that concern as caused problems until this day.” Brian looked at the Highlander.
“There have been watchers who saw us as a threat and attempted to ‘eliminate’ all immortals whether they were good or evil. I imagine that those like them will come again,” Duncan said softly.
“They are gone?” asked the young immortal.
“For now.” The others didn’t question the Highlander any further. They could see the pain in the older immortal’s eyes.
Angel’s hand closed around Cordelia’s. She didn’t look at him, but squeezed gently, grateful for his presence.
“Through conscious effort or just because, the existence of the separate councils became a secret to each other, generally,” continued Brian.
“Generally?” asked Wesley.
“Generally, I imagine if you were to look long and hard enough, you would find mention of a man who wasn’t a demon, but lived throughout the ages in your own council’s diaries. They do exist,” he said in reponse to Wesley’s shake of his head.
“Wesley,” he turned and for the first time talked to him directly, “how do you think I knew to watch Cordelia before she became immortal.” The office was quiet.
“How did you know? You knew things about Sunnydale, things if I am understanding correctly, you shouldn’t have known about through your old books,” asked Cordelia.
“I am not exactly sure how…No wait,” he said at the disbelieving gasps, “I was given a file on Cordelia. The file was more of an observation of the hellmouth and the Chosen One. I didn’t believe in vampires, much less know what a vampire slayer was at first. My superiors just pointed out the name Cordelia Chase and told me to watch her and specifically let them know how and when she met her first death.”
“Did you?” asked Duncan
“No, I had already broken the rules. In for a penny, in for a pound.” He glanced at Cordelia. She smiled softly back at him. “Anyway, somehow ‘my’ watcher’s council knew about the Slayer, something that had not been mentioned before in anything I read.”
“So, you think that the two separate councils at some level are exchanging information,” asked Angel.
“Yes”
“But how, Giles and I, were the only watchers in Sunnydale and neither of us knew about the existence of Immortals.”
“I don’t know, there had to be someone in Sunnydale or that read the reports that recognized Cordelia as a pre-immortal.”
“Unlikely, ” Duncan said, “Only an immortal has the ability to recognize a pre-immortals and not even all can do it.”
“I don’t know,” Brian repeated. “An immortal can’t be a watcher, they don’t even know that they are being recorded…at least they’re not supposed to,” he amended at the immortals’ skeptical glances.
“Wesley, none of yours or Giles’s diaries mentions Immortals, correct. ” Angel turned to Brian at Wesley’s nod. “Brian, except for the couple of volumes you discovered on your own, none of your chronicles mentioned vampires, evil or such. ” The other watcher nodded. “Brian is it normal to get a file on a pre-immortal?”
“I don’t think so, I haven’t read any first hand accounts of any pre-immortal’s history…Except for Cordelia’s.”
“Right, for some reason Cordelia is a seer, an immortal and an interest to both councils,” Angel growled.
“Hey, it doesn’t have to bad thing, maybe I just save the world or something. We’ve done that before….Hey where are you going?”
“To the oracles. For some reason you are being placed in the middle of something, I want to know what,” the vampire growled and left.
“Well, at least he’s getting better at his social skills.” Cordelia glanced up at the questioning looks surrounding her. “Well, he used to just leave. Anyway, I am calling it a night. If you are interested stay tuned to the same bat channel and be back tomorrow.” Cordelia got up from her desk.
“Wesley, if you want to be a real friend and prove how much you really missed me…”
“What?”
“Angel says that my stuff is in the storage closet. Please, thanks.” She bounded up the steps not waiting for an answer.
Wesley cast an amused glance at the other two men.
“Amazing isn’t it, how a whine can sound so beautiful and just make you beg to do any menial task.” The other two men just nodded in agreement.
Chapter Twenty-five:
Duncan watched Wesley leave the office. Duncan told Brian that he would catch up with him at the hotel. The Highlander went upstairs to where Cordelia was waiting.
He was greeted with a soft hello, when he entered the apartment. Duncan looked at his beautiful friend and student and smiled. She ran into his arms.
“Oh, Duncan, I missed you.”
“Come with me,” he asked as he kissed her forehead.
***
Angel entered the apartment, smiling. The oracles’ answers were again vague and full of gloom, except for one piece of information. They thought the whole thing was beneath them, but they decided to reward the warrior and his seer, they gave him his soul.
Angel’s thoughts were filled with Cordelia and how her smile lit up a room, how she defended him with words and now sword, and how she felt in his arms. He couldn’t wait to leave.
“Warrior, we have given you your soul and your seer; but, her love, that is not in our power to give,” the oracles chanted as they tossed the vampire out of the chamber. Angel didn’t even hear the oracles’ parting words. He was too busy imagining how he was going to tell, no show, Cordelia that his soul was permanent.
The vampire stopped short when he saw Cordelia go into the immortal’s arms and at his words. He turned and left, his soul intact, but in agony; to stay would release the vampire in him. He tore across the rooftops, until he reached the docks. Angel sat on the same pier, where he sat over four months ago to mourn the loss of Cordelia. He sat there again and mourned.
Chapter Twenty-six:
“You know, I can’t go with you.” Cordelia placed her hands against the older immortal’s chest. “My place is here.”
“Cordelia, you don’t believe all of this, do you?” He hoped, but knew she did.
“It doesn’t matter, I belong here.”
“You don’t have to give up living to be his seer.”
“I am not. Obviously, I will be connected to Angel as long as the visions last. But it’s more than that, I love him…I know it’s unrequited and hopeless, but I meant what I said ‘while there is a head on my shoulders I will protect Angel and his soul’. Helping Angel gives me a purpose, there is so much evil out there that needs to be fought. Angel gives me a sense of belonging and a confidence that I am a better person than I was, even when I was without my memory. Who I was when I came to you was because of him…and Wesley…and especially Doyle and every other loser in the Scooby Gang…don’t ask,” she said at the Highlander’s perplexed look.
“The point is I love him, whether he returns the love back or not. I have his friendship and he needs me. He has been alone too long and I will stay with him until he doesn’t need me anymore. Then well, hell, I can still have a long life, as long as I duck. Duncan, I know this sounds stupid, but I am not even 20 yet, and I guess now I will never be,” she said softly. “But hey, I still have the optimism of youth.”
Cordelia took the Immortal’s face in her hands. “You are my friend, forever. You have given me guidance and skill, for that I will always be grateful.” She kissed him gently on the lips. “Keep your head, old man.”
Duncan looked at the beautiful young woman, wishing that he could take her away. But he realized how stupid that would be; she would just yell all the way and an angry vampire would be close on their trail. Cordelia may think that Angel didn’t love her, but Duncan knew that he did.
The older Immortal kissed her on the forehead. “And you are my friend, always. Be careful, I do believe that the va…that Angel will try to keep you safe. But whenever, however, you need me, I will be there,” he said gently. He left without looking back.
For about a microsecond, Cordelia wondered if she had made a mistake. But then she looked around at Angel’s possessions. So little, for one who had lived for so long. He was over 200 years old and only recently felt like he had a family.
Duncan didn’t need her, he may want her in a way the Angel never could, but he didn’t need her. Duncan’s touch while pleasant, very pleasant, she admitted, couldn’t make her feel so, well alive, as one smile from Angel. She was stuck.
Until the vampire told her to leave, she was staying. With that last thought, she changed into another of Angel’s shirts and curled up in his bed. She snuggled deep within the fabric and tried to catch his scent as she fell contently to sleep..