Part 7
Serenity, California
June 23 2003
“There will be no,” Cordelia emphasized each word with a punch, “bringing me forth. There will be no comshuking with the demon.” The last punch sent one of the parishioners flying.
“C’mon, Cordy,” Faith reasoned. “It couldn’t be all bad. I mean look at him. He’s probably hung like a horse.”
“Well, so is Angel, but size is hardly the point.” Cordelia kicked a parishioner in the temple. “It’s a matter of principle. There will be no insertion of any appendages below the waist.”
“Really?” Faith asked. “Angel’s hung like a horse?”
“Faith, shut up.” Both girls grabbed a man and head butted him.
“Hey! I’m just trying to make conversation. Trying to keep the situation relaxed. It’s not good to put too much pressure on yourself in a fight. Hinders performance.”
“Did you learn that in prison?” Cordelia asked. Both girls simultaneously delivered spinning heel kicks to parishioners.
“Nah. I learned how to hotwire cars in prison though.”
“Great,” Cordelia muttered. “At least I know my tax dollars are hard at work.”
When the parishioners once again ceased their attacks, both girls knew something was wrong. They realized very quickly what it was.
“Fools!” Josiah bellowed. “You cannot detain mere women? I shall do it myself!”
“Hey!” Faith yelled. “Who you calling ‘mere’?”
“Yeah!” Cordelia agreed. “We’re a demon and a slayer!”
“We kick ass!”
Josiah kicked aside the rubble easily and began to march on the girls. As the demon approached, both got a very clear look at how strong and large he was. The girls eased backwards as Josiah neared.
“Uh, Cordy?”
“Yeah?”
“I got your back.”
“Comforting.”
****
The truck zipped by the road sign proclaiming 15 miles to Serenity. No matter how far in the triple digits the speedometer went, Angel knew they weren’t going fast enough. His girls could be in danger, and he didn’t like that idea one damn bit.
“Angel? Could you not crush the door handle please?” Gunn asked.
Angel startled, and peered down at the door handle. Sure enough, it was cracking under his strong grip. “Sorry,” he muttered. “But if you’d drive faster.”
“Do not start that again!” Fred scolded. “I’m sick of it. We’ll get there when we get there. Now shut up!” Fred huffed and crossed her arms as she flopped back against the seat. Men were morons.
****
“Come here girl!” Josiah ordered.
“Not if you’re going to have that attitude,” Cordelia shot back.
The girls continued to slowly back away as Josiah continued to stalk. The demon grinned as he approached his prize. It was then that the inevitable happened. Something that Cordelia expected to happen much sooner.
Faith did something incredibly stupid.
“Enough of this!” Faith shouted and leapt at the colossus. Hands still bound, she delivered double punches to the demon’s gut and then a high kick to Josiah’s groin. He wasn’t even fazed.
“C’mon! I got you right in the jewels! You had to have felt that!”
Faith answer was a solid punch to the jaw that sent her flying. The slayer landed in a heap, right next to the executioner’s fallen axe.
“You are not worthy, insolent girl!” the demon shouted at the crumpled body of Faith. He then turned his attention back to Cordelia. “It is you that I want.”
“So I’ve been told. Listen, I’m from LA. What say I hook you up with some Southern California babes, huh? Maybe I could take you to Hollywood to meet some starlets? Demi Moore, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Cameron Diaz? Or maybe Melanie Griffith? You know she’s a Banghok demon, right? Could be right up your alley.”
Josiah merely leered at Cordelia, sensing that his prize would soon be won. “You are mine!” he bellowed. “I shall not be denied.”
“Cordelia!” Faith shouted. The rogue slayer was now on her feet and brandishing the executioner’s axe. “Catch!”
Faith threw the axe to Cordelia who caught it easily. Rearing back, Cordelia built up as much potential energy as she could before letting loose.
The axe was true in its course. Flipping end over end, the thick blade finally embedded itself in Josiah’s forehead. The demon groaned in shock before dropping to his knees. It lingered like that for several long moments before Josiah fell on his side.
The parishioners all gathered around their fallen idol. The body of Josiah began to slowly melt away as the crowd stared in shock and sorrow.
“You know what’s better protection than a condom?” Cordelia asked. “A hurling axe.”
Brady was furious. “You insolent whore!” he shouted. “You had the chance to be the mother of a living God! The chance to bear the child that would lead our people! For your stupidity, you will die!”
Faith tapped the sheriff on the shoulder to get his attention. Brady spun around, only to be greeted by a pair of fists in his face and a knee to his groin. “You talk too much,” Faith told him. Faith tossed him to the ground. Kneeling down, she dug in his pockets and found what she wanted.
“Handcuff keys!” she shouted gleefully. She quickly unlocked her own and tossed the key to Cordelia, who followed suit. “Did we do good?” Faith asked.
“We’re still alive. That gives us bonus points.”
“But Andrea isn’t,” Faith said, sorrow seeping into her voice. Cordelia had no response to that.
The truck carrying Angel, Fred, and Gunn chose that moment to stop at the entrance to the clearing. All three hopped out of the truck brandishing weapons.
“Cordy, Faith!” Angel called. “Are you two okay?”
“We’re fine,” Cordelia assured him. “But we need to get the police here.”
Fred and Gunn stared at the parishioners and the pile of ooze where Josiah once stood. Angel pulled the two girls that mattered most to him closer. Something very bad happened, he knew. Something that he couldn’t fix.