10
Awkwardness was a human emotion. At times it felt good, healthy, reassuring him that he wasn’t entirely demon, that he wasn’t just a creature of the night.
But right now? It didn’t feel so good.
Silence had settled between Angel and Cordelia as they sat on either side of the large cream couch in her living room, daring darting glances at each other when they thought the other wasn’t looking. Cordy’d abandoned her jacket, seated now in a sleeveless blue blouse and grey skirt. Her legs were curled under her, her fingers tapping restlessly against her lips.
Angel sagged against the back of the sofa. The memory of her lips on his sent a jolt of desire through him, unlike anything he’d ever really felt before. He wanted her to kiss him again, hell, he just wanted *her*. If only they could get past their sudden discomfort…
“Cordy…” He murmured, and her head shot up, eyes catching his like a deer in the headlights. She really did have beautiful eyes.
Before he knew it, he’d stretched out an arm, running the back of his fingers over her impossibly soft cheek. Her lips curled ever so slightly and he touched them with his fingers, gently, never pushing, waiting for her to come to him.
She didn’t disappoint. She bit her lip, shifting slowly and sliding across the couch, snuggling into his waiting embrace. Her head rested on his shoulder, her hand sliding over his chest as he wrapped her up in his arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
“That’s much better.” He whispered, fingers trailing up and down her shoulder, his cheek on the crown of her head. “It’s hard, you know.”
He could almost see her raised eyebrow. “What is?”
Angel grinned. “Not that.” He felt a sharp pinch in his side. “Hey!” He lifted her chin with his finger, giving her an admonishing look. “I just meant…it’s hard, being around you. All I want to do is – ”
He paused. Cordy frowned. “Is?”
Angel’s thumb caressed her jawbone, his voice coming out husky. “Kiss you.”
The smile that broke out across her face made him feel as though he was staring at sunlight, warm, bright and breathtaking. Cordelia shifted in his arms, her chin resting close to the hollow of his throat. “What’s stopping you?”
Angel didn’t answer, just covered her lips with his own, his eyes closing with a groan. His palm slid behind her neck, pulling her closer as she whimpered, fingers curling around the collar of his shirt, squeezing.
Angel’s fingers began to roam, exploring her shoulders, her throat, the space behind her ear that made her moan, shudder against him. Cordy made a tiny, approving noise in the back of her throat and his gut tightened with hunger. His tongue brushed against her lower lip, begging entry and she opened her mouth, taking him in, warming him.
Heat began to build between them, searing and fervent. Angel felt his body respond to it, and evidently, so did Cordelia because she gasped, pulling away to look at him.
“Angel…” Her voice was breathless and it only served to arouse him further. “What about the curse?”
He was sure he looked dazed. “It won’t be a problem.”
Cordelia’s eyes flashed. “It damn well better be a problem, jackass! If you don’t think – ”
“Let me explain.” Angel interrupted her quickly, laying a silencing finger over her lips and wondering how the hell she managed to intimidate him. “Cordy, I like you. A LOT.” He stroked her cheek when her eyes softened. “You’re amazing in so many ways I never thought I’d know.”
“I feel a but coming on…”
“But,” Angel smiled apologetically. “I *am* Satan’s toady.” She smirked at that. “I can’t forget everything I’ve done in the past, I wont. And my son…” His voice trailed off and he felt her warm fingers slip into his, giving him strength, “My son doesn’t even know I exist.”
“He’s alive?” Cordy asked, her eyes wide.
“Yes.” Angel stared at her. “You didn’t know?”
“No, I…” Cordy bit her lip, sitting up a little. “Tell me about him, Angel. Tell me about your past.”
“What?” Angel felt a sudden panic. He cleared his throat, fixing her with a firm stare. “No.”
Cordy pouted. “Please?”
Damn. “Why?” He demanded. “You don’t want to – ”
“Yes, I do.” She cut him off, pressing a palm against his mouth. “I want to know about you.”
He was silent for a moment, hesitant and a little irritated about what he was sure was mind-blowing sex being put on hold. “I don’t want to scare you.” He whispered.
Cordelia cupped his cheek, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, her eyes shining with something he’d never seen in anyone else’s before, never when looking at him.
Trust.
“I don’t scare easy.” She smiled and he felt his chest tighten. “Tell me.”
And so he did.
***
“Twenty five was nice, slow but nice. Twenty six was an ass. Twenty seven…” Faith grimaced, counting off her fingers, “Ugh. Like kissing a dog. Complete with bad breath and a side helping of drool.”
Xander stared at her, his jaw somewhere near his ankles. “We’re up to twenty seven?”
Faith grinned at him. “We’re not even halfway to done.”
Xander shook his head, baffled. “How. What. It boggles the mind!”
“This is why they advise you never to ask women how many men they’ve slept with.” Faith shook her finger at him, a mock frown on her face.
Xander rolled his eyes. “You should have been on Sex & The City.”
“I auditioned for the role.” Faith quipped. “But they gave it to that damn blonde…”
Xander smirked at her, popping a chip into his mouth and staring out at the dark horizon. The waves crashed erratically against the shore beneath them as they leaned over the crowded pier. Kids, teenagers and adults swarmed the area as they made the most of a late Saturday night.
“Cordy lives near here, doesn’t she?”
“Mmm hmm…” Faith murmured, closing her eyes as the breeze kissed her face. Xander smiled at the sight, noting how lovely she looked.
“Her house is amazing.” He said, glancing behind her in its general direction. “She inherit that?”
Faith shrugged. “She inherited a lot. I think she bought that.” She opened her eyes, smiling at him. “Nabbit’s lending us his helicopter.”
Xander gaped at her. “His HELICOPTER?”
“That’s what I said.”
“My God…” Xander shook his head in amazement, resuming his staring, this time at the ocean as it deepened in colour, from dark to midnight blue. “It was fun, ya know.”
Faith glanced at him. “What was?”
“Going incognito. Pretending to be someone important.”
Faith’s hand rested on his back, warm and comforting on his skin. “You are important, Xander.”
Xander shot her a look. “That’s not what I meant.”
Her hand slid down his arm and slipped into his. “I know.”
Something shifted in the air, thrilling and welcoming all at once. The moment held its breath as Xander straightened, taking a step towards Faith and palming her cheek. She sighed and his eyes fluttered shut, lips curling into a soft smile as her own buried into them.
Warmth spread through him, into his pores and across his skin. Xander locked an arm around Faith’s waist, holding her closer. It felt nice, to have someone want him this way, to have *this*. Something inside Xander pulled deeply at the thought but Faith’s arms tightened around his neck and he forgot it almost instantly, revelling in the moment.
Beneath them, the waves crashed turbulently against the shore.
***
Buffy twirled the key card between her fingers as she stared at the screen in front of her. Wolfram & Hart’s logo was clearly visible in the top, right hand corner of the security site she’d managed to hack into. It had been hard, even with their resources, and several cups of coffee balanced on the table beside her, one for each failed attempt.
But she’d succeeded in getting in – now all she had to do was re-arrange it her way. She ran the key card through the slot-like feature of her computer, grinning when the screen flashed green and 13 letters showed up in big, bold writing.
ACCESS GRANTED
Buffy stared at her list of objectives, taking yet another a sip of coffee. She had a lot of work to do…
***
Cordy leaned against the counter in her kitchen, putting a hand against her forehead. Her heart was racing after the evening’s events. And it wasn’t just because he’d kissed her…
Angel’s unburdening had been draining to say the least. All those things he’d done, to all those people…
Cordelia swallowed, closing her eyes. She was only human and it had scared her. He’d known it too, because her heart had pounded wildly and he’d only pressed a kiss to her temple, his fingers drawing soothing patterns along her arm in an effort to placate.
And she’d been placated. That was what scared her most of all – that she still liked him enough, still *trusted* him enough to just stay, and listen, and understand. Angel was his demon, he’d always have that darkness inside him despite the soul and that was fine. Because to accept the man, you had to accept the monster.
Actions, decisions, whether good or bad, shaped people. He was still a good man and a good father, whose moment of weakness had given him one of the most precious gifts of all, only to have it cruelly snatched away from him.
As for the rest of it, she found it didn’t matter. Because despite the horror of what he’d done as Angelus, when Cordelia was with him, all she felt was the good he’d done, the good he was *trying* to do as Angel.
She was getting used to being simultaneously creeped out and comforted all at once. She wondered what that said about her –
“Cor?” Angel’s voice dragged her out of her reverie and she blinked, taking slow steps out of the kitchen and into the living room. He was exactly where she’d left him, curled up on the cushions of her couch, his jacket neatly folded over the back of a chair, his shoes kicked off in the corner.
Cordelia shot him a tired smile, handing him the mug of water. Angel plucked it out of her fingers, grabbing for them when she went to pull away. He stood, deep, dark eyes locked on hers, fingers intertwined, an arms distance between them.
“Come here.” He commanded lowly. Cordy’s eyes narrowed but she felt a shiver rush up her spine. He’d gotten awful pushy all of a sudden. Sure, he was a vampire and a predator by nature, but mostly he’d just been pretty shy around her. She found she liked his assertiveness though. Angel was a nice mix of smooth and dork.
She stepped forward. He wrapped his arms around her and her own slipped up his back, clutching at the material of his shirt as he rained kisses over her nose and eyelashes. Angel grinned, a hint of fang sliding across her bottom lip. “Loosen up Chase.”
Cordelia smirked, letting her body relax in his embrace. It felt nice, the way his large hands slid down her arms, one spanning her waist, the other, tangling its fingers with hers. His jaw slid smoothly across her temple as they moved, just barely, swaying unconsciously to silent music.
“You okay?” Angel murmured.
“Hmm…” She tightened her fingers in his. “It’s just a lot to take in.”
“I’m sorry.” He said immediately.
“I know.” Cordy pressed her lips to his throat, comforted. “That’s what makes it okay.”
***
“So,” Kate looked up, taking the glass of wine Wesley gave her. The wine bar was large, stylish yet noisy, filled with suits, their significant others and their subdivisions who’d poured in a few hours earlier after work for a wind down Saturday night. “Some guy storms into the department this evening to report a stolen security card.” She smirked, noting Wes’s squirming. “Says he thinks a stripper stole it. Problem is, said stripper is nowhere to be found. The manager’s never even heard of her…”
“That’s terrible.” Wesley glanced at her. “Any luck finding her?”
Kate ignored him. “Apparently the card is VERY important and it’s imperative that we find it immediately.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “You wouldn’t happen to know about that now, would you?”
Wesley shrugged. “Me? No…”
“Nothing at all?” Kate leaned forward. “Like maybe where I should start looking?”
“Nope.” Wesley said, grinning at her. “You’re welcome to arrest me if you’re suspicious, officer. I’ve always had a penchant for handcuffs – ”
“Wesley!” Kate punched him in the arm, laughing. “You guys are gonna get me fired some day…”
“I honestly don’t know what you’re insinuating, Kate.” Wesley swirled the wine in its glass, sniffing it. “Though if I did, let me just say I’m sorry we weren’t more stealth.” He took a sip, holding the glass up against the light. “Now if only they’d let *me* do the job as I’d initially proposed – ”
“Oh please!” Kate snorted. “You? In the field?”
“Hey!” Wesley yelped, looking thoroughly miffed. “I’ll have you know I’ve been compared to James Bond…”
***
Angel’s arms tightened around her and her eyes fluttered shut, cheek sliding against the soft silk of his shirt. Cordy didn’t know how long they stood in the centre of her living room, simply holding each other. She was content to just stand there in his embrace but her body had other ideas. A sudden pressure built in her throat and she opened her mouth, yawning widely.
Angel smirked at her, circling her nose with his. “Tired?”
“No.” She lied, nuzzling beneath his chin.
“Come on…” He murmured, and then her feet were suddenly off the ground as he lifted her effortlessly into his arms. Cordy let out a small squeak, clasping her fingers around his neck as he carried her through the hall and up the stairs, and along the long corridor to her bedroom.
She shot him a suspicious look. “How did you -?”
“Vampire.” Angel interrupted her with a wink. “Your scent is strongest here.”
Cordelia rolled her eyes, pushing the door open as he walked through it. It delighted her – more than she cared to admit – that he could carry her around like this without breaking a sweat. Something about the gesture made her feel incredibly feminine.
“Wow.” Angel had stopped in the centre of her bedroom, his gaze travelling over every corner. Her bedroom was big, a mixture of whites and blues. Fairly lights adorned the curtains, casting a dim, dreamlike glow over the space. A four-poster bed with white drapes stood perpendicular to the door, a balcony, large dresser and walk-in closet to its left and an old antique desk and the bathroom door to its right. Jack cocked his head at them from where he was settled on a carpet near the balcony doors, resuming his sprawled position.
Cordelia cleared her throat and Angel glanced at her, continuing his journey towards her bed and dropping her gently down onto it. He pulled back, only to lean in and place a smacking great kiss on her lips.
“Night.” He said with a grin, stepping back on his heel. “I’ll go.”
Cordelia frowned, disappointment striking her deep in the chest. “Why don’t you stay?” His eyes snapped to hers and she felt herself blush. “Just…sleep.”
Angel looked uncertain. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
“Pfft, it’s not like you’re getting any.” She quipped, grinning when his eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Her fingers reached for his, pulling him forward. “It’ll just be nice, you know, to have you here.”
His eyes softened then and when he smiled at her she wondered if maybe she was falling. He placed his hands on either side of Cordelia as he crawled over her, forcing her to fall back against the mattress. He leaned over her, keeping his eyes on her face as he lowered himself, lips hovering barely above hers as he inched forward, torturously slow.
Cordy pushed up eagerly to meet him, glaring when he collapsed onto his side, smirking at her. She opened her mouth, a scathing remark on her tongue but his hand circled her wrist and she was pulled against him, her body tucked into his chest as his arms cradled her and his chin rested atop her head.
“Tease.” She muttered, sliding an arm around his back and snuggling into him. He pulled the fluffy comforter over them.
“Ssh…” Angel smoothed a tendril of hair away from her face, kissing her nose. “Just sleep.”
His hands, big and comforting, alternated between caressing her face and flat, even strokes down her spine. Cordelia’s eyelids drooped as sleep overwhelmed her. He smelled good – rich and masculine – and she was engulfed in the scent, wrapped tightly in his embrace, content. Her breathing evened out, her eyes fluttering as she drifted asleep.
***
To say the doorbell startled Buffy was an understatement. Her head jerked up from the edge of the keyboard and an empty coffee cup rolled off the table and onto the floor. Buffy growled, picking it up and placing it upright. She stood and walked over to the door, rubbing her tired eyes and glancing through the peephole.
Her heart lurched. Buffy pulled open the door, smiling tiredly at her best friend. “Hey.”
“Hey yourself.” Xander stepped inside, a tub of Rocky Road ice cream – her favourite – in one hand, a DVD in the other. “Don’t answer your phone anymore?”
Buffy placed a hand on her head. “I must have fallen asleep.” She looked at her watch, staring at him questioningly. “What are you doing here Xander? It’s late.”
“Pfft.” Xander strode past her and into the kitchen, opening drawers. He pulled out two spoons, ripping the lid off the ice cream. “Can’t a guy come and see his favouritest girl without being announced?”
Buffy felt an odd flutter in her stomach. “But – ”
“No buts.” Xander handed her a spoon, grabbing her hand and dragging her into the living room. “I have a romantic comedy and I’m not afraid to use it.”
She laughed then, following him to the couch with a resigned sigh. He popped the DVD into the player, grabbing the remote control and collapsing down next to her. Buffy dragged the comforter over them, leaning her head on his shoulder as Xander pulled her into a friendly sideways hug. A warm feeling of content settled in her stomach and for the first time in days, she felt truly at ease.
***
Slowly, his eyes fluttered open, drifting into wakefulness as he blinked, taking in his surroundings. The room was pitch black, the dull glow of the clock on the bedside table and the moonlight streaming through the open balcony doors the only light in the darkness. But for a creature of the night, none of it mattered. Everything was as clear to Angel as day.
He glanced at the clock. 3.00am.
Warmth flooded his side, spreading through his shirt and across his skin. Cordelia was still snuggled under his shoulder, her arm thrown over his waist as she slept peacefully. Her face, as always, was beautiful, mesmerising in the glow of the moonlight, gentle breaths spreading warmth across his open collar. Angel tore his gaze away, carefully untangling himself from her and getting to his feet.
Not wanting to wake her, he pressed a kiss against the bare skin of her shoulder, gently rubbing his nose against it, breathing her in. Soft steps led him away from the bed and across to the room to the dresser. He spotted a pen and pad on top and quickly scribbled down a note, dropping it onto her bedside table.
Then, with a final glance to the peacefully sleeping brunette and a ruffle of Jack’s hair he headed down the stairs, collecting his things and stepping through the main door, walking out into the early morning darkness.