“Was that what was in your vision?” As Angel spoke he edged closer to the weapons cabinet, watching as the Minion came down the stairs.
Nodding, Cordelia hoisted Connor up her hip, ready to attack should the ‘thing’ come near her. “That’s vision boy.”
Grabbing an axe, Angel swung toward the Minion, before stopping, “Evil, right?”
Cordelia nodded again, “Angel, kill it!”
Angel swung again until a very womanly shriek was heard across the hotel. Cordelia’s mother who’d come to and was watching, her mouth agape. “Stop!”
Angel did as he was told, terminally afraid of her husband and looked at her, “What?”
“You can’t kill that!” Said Alara, frowning as she hand-walked along the wall.
“Why not?” The thing was evil! Cordelia had saw it in her vision, ergo death for evil vision thing.
“That’s racist! What, just because it doesn’t look like us, we have to kill it?” Asked Alara, glaring at poor Angel who just wasn’t getting on the good side of Cordelia’s parents at all. Well, until now, anyway.
Previously, he’d been getting on more than the good side of Cordelia’s mother which was actually started to scare him a little. But still, there it was, Cordelia’s *own* evil eye, only having aged about twenty years.
“Mom, that’s not racism, that’s not even HUMAN!” Said Cordelia.
“Oh, stop being so narrow minded.” Snapped Alara, “Just because it’s not human doesn’t mean we have to kill it.”
Cordelia’s mouth fell open. Narrow minded? Her mother was accusing HER of being narrow minded? Well, wasn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?
“Maybe it’s from the Projects…” Added Alara.
“MOM! It’s not human!” Said Cordelia, “That means, it’s NOT from the Projects, it’s not from the POOR part of town, it means it’s from some stinky hell dimension that has something that wants to kill us and it’s sent this to do it!”
Alara sighed and glanced at her husband, “Cordelia always was melodramatic. Didn’t I say we should take her to a counsellor? I always said we should have taken her to a counsellor…”
For the first time in her life, she couldn’t manage a ‘pffft’ or a ‘hmph’ or anything. Cordelia was rendered speechless, breathless and all other kinds of ‘less’ by her own mother. Narrow minded AND crazy? Oh, come ON! And she was what? Open-minded and sane? Pfft!
The trespassing Minion was less than stupid. He sensed hostility from most everyone in the hotel, all directed towards the elder couple. He sensed hostility towards the vampire by the elder man, waves of appreciation and lust towards the vampire from two of the women in the room – obviously related – and empathy towards himself from the elder brunette woman.
However, he also sensed the axe – even Minions (who were only interested in the drinking of the frog juice, the having of the sex and the tipping of the cows) could sense when discretion was the better part of valour and so proceeded…
Attaching his most pathetic look to his face (which was a cross between a bulldog chewing a wasp and an empathic demon high on prescription drugs), he ambled forwards, whining considerably his face creased into what he hoped was something resembling pathetic, stupid and cute and was in fact none of those three – he increased his steps until he was by Alara’s side.
“He’s so cute.” Alara beamed at him, “And where do you come from?” She asked, showing more kindness to a minion than she had to her own grandson.
Even a vision hangover would be easier than this. Thought Cordelia, staring at her mother. The migraine was coming thick and fast, now she understood why she rarely called her parents, ever. “Mom, it’s not a child! It’s an evil, stinky MINION!”
“Cordelia!” Everyone jumped at the sound of Alara’s raised voice – they were used to Cordelia’s father barking and shouting but not her mother. “Have some tact, would you? The poor thing has feelings!”
“Ohhh, I know what this is!” Said Fred, smiling brightly as Cordelia just stood there, stunned… “It’s like those programmes Daddy used to watch before I got taken to Pylea! Where someone would have the worst possible day and someone would be secretly filming it for a while and then they’d jump out and win a car or something!” Said Fred, “That’s what this is, isn’t it?”
Cordelia raised an eyebrow, “If I got a car every time this happened? I’d be rich. Again.” She said, shaking her head.
A Minion’s attention span is believed to be considerably less than a goldfish. He forgot his original plan of trying to befriend the woman who’d defended his stinky minionness and instead, went to grab her, to bargain with the vampire – if he handed over his son, then the woman wouldn’t die.
However, Angel was quicker than he – vampiric speed proving imperative in this particular scenario as he swung the axe…
Before the body fell to the floor the “Ewww, look at my three hundred dollar suit!” screech rang throughout the hotel. Perhaps if it was red blood (or normal blood for that matter) Alara mightn’t have been as disgusted.
Perhaps if it wasn’t bright blue on her beige three hundred dollar suit, she mightn’t have been as freaked. But as it turned out, fate had delivered both a cruel blow to her suit and to Angel – for the look she shot him was *soooo* much worse than the ones Aaron had been giving him since the start of the night.
His mouth suddenly dry, Angel swallowed to get the moisture back into it, the demons body finally falling to the floor, followed by its head and a meaty *THWACK*
“Uhm…” Angel looked desperately at Cordelia, begging her with his eyes to help him. He knew from experience what Cordelia’s bad moods were like. He didn’t want to find out how twenty years had cultivated her mothers.
And here, it appeared again. His son knew that Angel was in more trouble than he’d faced before and the chubby little arms shot up, “Daaa…” He giggled, pointing to himself, then his father. “Dadda…” He babbled.
Angel grinned, vowing to buy his son the whole damned toy store if that’s what he wanted for saving him from the wrath of Cordelia’s mother. He took his son from an almost grinning Cordelia who had just about had enough of this little visit.
“We’ll take Connor to bed and then we’ll talk.” Said Cordelia, stubbornly, looking at her parents.
“NO buts.” Said Cordelia, frowning. “Just wait here.”
Sidling up to Wesley, Alara smiled, “So, what’s your name again?”
Oh, bloody hell… Thought Wesley, sighing as he watched Cordelia and Angel escaping.
Did this woman EVER give up?
* * * * *
“Cordelia, you know I can’t…”
“Angel… I’ll do anything… Just… Please?”
Angel shook his head, placing Connor into his crib and chuckling, “You know that if I could, I would but… Cordelia, they’re your parents…”
“No, they’re not! You’ve seen them… They’re demons! They *have* to be! I mean… Look at their outfits! Would I look as good coming from THOSE two?”
“I can’t kill your parents, no matter how much I want to…”
Cordelia batted her eyelids and looked up at him, “Please, I’ll never ask you to do it again…”
“There won’t be an again…” He laughed, wondering if she was teasing or whether she was actually serious.
“They’re driving me crazy!” Said Cordelia, “And don’t tell me you didn’t think about killing them yourself, because you know you did.”
Connor gurgled from his cot, wondering when exactly his Mommy was going to smile, a non smiling Mommy just wasn’t fun round here, especially when… Ah, there it was!
How could she help it? Connor was looking up at her and burbling and she couldn’t help but smile.
Now to crack Daddy. He blew a raspberry. Angel laughed. Now Connor could fall asleep content. Gently, their son’s eyes drifted shut and Cordelia smiled, pressing her finger to her lips and grinning at Angel.
Creeping outside so as not to wake him (not before putting the baby monitor on of course), Cordelia looked at Angel, “Is there any way I can convince you?” She asked, playfully… Or was that hopefully?
A warm feeling ran through her as Angel placed his hands on her shoulders and he leaned forward… Slowly… Mmmm, lips of Angel. She thought with a little smile to herself feeling his lips brush gently across… HER FOREHEAD???
Looking up, puzzled, Cordelia saw he was smiling down at her, his eyes soft. “We’ll deal with your parents. We’ll send them home and then we’ll get onto the important stuff.”
She was mad… Well, for about a second anyway, making her think he was going to kiss her like that! But Cordelia just smiled, “Important stuff?”
“Well, there’s our son…” He said softly.
Cordelia nodded, “Okay, let’s send ’em packing… And soon… ‘Kay?”
He took her hand, giving it a light squeeze, before kissing her forehead lightly, again. “We’ve faced bigger than this, remember?”
“Really, like what?” Asked Cordelia, teasingly.
“Well, there’s the scores of vampires and demons. And then there’s the apocalypse. And your visions… Bigger. Badder.”
“Bigger and badder than my father?” Cordelia’s lips tugged upwards in a smile, and she watched him gulp a little.
“Yeah,” He almost squeaked, “Bigger, badder.”
“Okay… I believe you.” She smiled, before leading him downstairs. Her parents stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up worriedly at Cordelia.
“Honey, we think perhaps it’s time you came home with us.” Said Alara, warily, watching Angel like a hawk.
“What? Why?” Cordelia was puzzled, what had happened now???
“Vampires, demons? Honey, we always knew you were high-maintenance but we never knew you were crazy…” When Alara spoke, it was like she’d spoke to that Minion, slow, pronouncing every single word.
“You think I’m crazy now?” Squeaked Cordelia, staring at her parents. Her gaze drifted away to… The baby monitor! Damnit! Those things were so… So… STUPID! And intrusive!
“Well there’s always been signs… The clothes for a start.”
Angel could see the look on Cordelia’s face. A cross between anger, confusion, laughter and surprise. A burst of laughter emanated from his lips and Aaron glared at him,
“You think my child being crazy is funny?”
Angel gulped again…