“I’m not crazy!” The indignant voice rang throughout the hotel, indignant, angry, all kinds of humiliated and… To put it bluntly? Pissed. Her eyes narrowed, she glared at her parents – Angel thought he’d seen her pissed? He’d seen nothing…
“Only a crazy person would say that.” Said Alara, nodding to her husband who was continuing to glare at Angel, a scowl evident on his face, “I knew we should have had her checked sooner…”
“CHECKED FOR WHAT?” Cordelia yelled, her eyes blazing. Fred, Gunn and Wesley (wisely) maintained their distance from the angry young woman before them, not even Angel was safe, one wrong word and Cordelia could explode.
“Well, there was that Harris boy for a start, and then there was…”
“Xander?” Cordelia stopped for a second, “What’s wrong with Xander?” Did I really just say that?
“Well he was a little… Lower than your usual status, honey.” Said Alara, gently, totally unaware that she was treading on very thin ice.
“Usual status?” Cordelia was puzzled, okay, so she did *have* a usual status back then, popular, rich and usually jocks but the fact that her Mom had gone past the ‘Ooh, nice boy’ stage was pretty much amazing.
“Well, yes, the popular boys. The good looking ones.”
“Xander wasn’t ugly!” She bit, noticing Angel’s scowl. That hadn’t exactly been exactly what Angel had wanted to hear. Okay, so even he’d admit that Xander wasn’t on the particularly ugly crew but… He was a dork!
But then… Cordelia called him a dork which introduced all sorts of problems for the 245 year old completely and utterly jealous vampire.
“You’ve got to admit that you were too good for him.” The words were out of Angel’s mouth before he could stop them and Cordelia gasped, turning round to glare at him. “ANGEL!” She yelled, “Don’t YOU start!”
“What?” He asked, puzzled, “I’m just saying.” He’d paid her a compliment! She WAS too good for Xander. She was his Cordelia, that meant that every single guy that had even had a crush on Cordelia, she was too good for.
Except maybe Doyle. And that little thing with Welsey – ’cause they were his friends and Xander was…
“Well don’t JUST SAY!” Said Cordelia, frowning, “Just…”
“Now, honey – Angel’s only looking out for your best interests…” Said Alara, sweetly, detracting herself from Wesley’s side and going to stand beside Angel.
“But… But you’ve just…” Cordelia sputtered, “He got demon goo on your clothes!” Clutching at straws much?
Alara smiled and waved her hand, “Oh, this old thing? Doesn’t matter…”
THIS OLD THING? Cordelia’s thoughts slammed into her head quicker than a vision, This old thing? She wouldn’t hold Connor in case he got baby drool on her and now it’s ‘this old thing’?
“And then there was that weird girl…” Continued Alara. “You remember the one? She tried to attack you with a wooden stick.”
If she hadn’t been so pissed, Cordelia might have been impressed. While her mother was bed bound with Epstein Barr syndrome, she’d actually been listening to her daughter? Definitely a first for Alara Chase.
“Her name was Buffy.” Said Cordelia, through gritted teeth.
“And what kind of a name is that?”
“MOM!” Too late. She’d exploded. “SHUT UP! God, will you let people get a word in edgeways?”
Angel raised an eyebrow at this, Cordelia was usually the dominant speaker while he was the one who sat back and waited. Something he’d learned to do well over the course of almost 250 years.
“We’ll book you an appointment with Dr. Truman just as soon as we get you back home.” Said her father, “Perhaps it’s best that you say your goodbyes now.”
“No! I’m NOT crazy!” Said Cordelia, folding her arms indignantly across her chest. “And I’m not going anywhere! Angel, show them.”
Both of Angel’s treacherous eyebrows shot up in surprise. The vampire was famed for keeping his cool (most of the time) for not wigging (yeah, right) for not getting panicked over the least little thing (uh-huh) but this, he panicked over.
“Show them what?” He asked, fear and trepidation marring his voice. He didn’t want to do anything that would upset her father – after all, he was… Large and… Glowery… In pink.
“Your ‘grrrr’ face.” Arching her fingers in the typical ‘grrrr face’ fashion, she’d never looked more adorable. It still didn’t mean he was going to do what she asked though. And risk the wrath of her father? No chance.
“What ‘grrrr’ face?” He asked, coyly.
He recognised the signs almost immediately. A foot tapped against the hardwood floor, her arms slid across her chest (Where he *so* wasn’t looking) and Cordelia arched one perfectly shaped eyebrow.
“What Grrr Face?” She asked, her voice dangerously low. “Do you really want me to explain?”
Okay, let’s assess the situation. Thought Angel, in a rare calm moment in the face of his biggest fear, bigger than Cordelia’s Mother and Father combined. Cordelia’s Wrath. Never fun. Briefly, he recalled the first time he’d felt her anger towards him.
After his ‘beige period’ he’d never felt more helpless, more unable to do something when she was hurt or angry. He decided that Cordelia at this point was more dangerous – she could, after all, effectively kill him more than her parents could.
Sighing, Angel glanced at her father, letting his game face slide on. Ha ha! Victory for the lowly vampire! Cordelia’s mother was stunned into silence. Her father however was less… Mute…
“WHAT IN THE HOLY HELL IS THAT?”
“HE is Angel.” Said Cordelia, “You still think I’m crazy? He’s a vampire. With a soul. He helps people.” Alara slid bonelessly to the floor, after all this was just too much to take in one night, her daughter crazy and a man she’d considered to be an eligible bachelor a vampire with a very severe case of the bumpies.
“B-but… Tom Cruise didn’t look like that!” Said Alara, timidly.
They thought CORDELIA was crazy??? Fred watched from where she stood, mildly amused. Cordelia was battling against her parents, when Angel had leapt in with a comment that could only be described as jealousy – if anything, at least they were sorting out their little ‘ballet’ episodes.
“You can take the ‘grrrr’ face off now, son.” When Aaron spoke, his voice was a degree softer (something which shocked Angel to no end). “He doesn’t bite?”
Cordelia smiled for the first time since her parents had actually got here, “No Dad, he doesn’t bite. He doesn’t feed from humans, he helps people. That’s where I fit in.” She smiled.
“I’m Vision Girl – the Higher Powers if you like… Show me when people need helping, how Angel can help them. That was how I floated before…”
“They make you float?”
Deciding that one (or three) shocks in one day was quite enough for her parents (even though the mischievous streak in the Seer wanted to shock them more) – Cordelia nodded, “Yeah, they make me float.”
“Mr. Chase,” Stepping forward, Wesley glanced at the pair, “I don’t think I need to remind you that this… What Angel is, should remain between you and your wife only… If this were to get out it could spell danger for Connor…”
“I’m sure Tom Cruise didn’t have those bumpy things… Was Tom Cruise a vampire, really?” Asked Alara, still shocked to the point where she was babbling incoherently. Well, actually, just shocked – the incoherent babbling seemed almost like her regular speech patterns.
“No, Mom, Tom Cruise wasn’t a vampire. He goes out in the day-time, remember?” Asked Cordelia, softly. As much as her Mom pissed her off, this was still a big deal and… Oh, holy hell, her father really wasn’t asking that, was he?
“Angel, can I talk to you alone for a second?”
Oh God… HE WAS! Cordelia watched as Angel gulped and nodded, “Sure.”
“Use my office…” Offered Wesley, glancing at Cordelia after Angel and Aaron had retreated to the office, “Perhaps now you should discuss with your mother the… Finer points of Angel being a vampire?”
“Nope.” Said Cordelia, “I’m taking Mom upstairs to meet her Grandson.”