Part 4
“And that was it?” Asked Willow, softly, “Cordelia… She’s really from the future and you and Angel…”
“Me and Angel.” Buffy nodded, picking at the sandwich she’d brought from home that morning. She’d had the full night to digest all of this. After Cordelia had left, Angel had gone after her, to ask her the question that Buffy really didn’t want to know the answer to, and when he’d come back… Oh, awkward, much awkwardness.
What were they supposed to say to each other? There’d been no comfort to give, no release in words or hugs… They’d been thrown into a world where a normal relationship was out of the question, into a world where they knew something nobody should ever know… They knew about their future, and as selfish as it was, Buffy was starting to wish they didn’t.
“So, is Giles researching this? I mean… This is Cordy…”
That was Buffy’s biggest problem. Even without Giles researching, she knew that what Cordelia had told them had been true. Impossible almost but definitely true. She’d seen by the look on Cordelia’s face, the obvious hurt there in her eyes when she’d looked at Angel.
“Buffy?” Prompted Willow, softly, noticing that the glazed-eye look had returned to her friend’s face.
“Yeah,” Said Buffy, “He’s getting with the books but… Will, she was so… I dunno, genuine? She wasn’t lying, it was so obvious that she was hurting, so obvious that she hated doing it but… She did it anyway.”
Willow sighed, still unable to believe that they were talking about Cordelia Chase in the context they were, although… “Is that not a good thing? Not the hurting but the fact that she’s changed? It’s not like she’s ever been that nice before, is it?”
She’d never made it known that she liked Cordelia, not when she and Xander started dating or at any point before that – why should she? Cordelia had never exactly been her friend either.
“Giles says he needs to have a word with her. He didn’t look happy when I told him, well, y’know… All of it.”
“Are you kidding me? Giles will be having a fit… If Cordelia is who she really says she is and she’s told you all about your future, it means she’s changed whatever’s going to happen. Whether that’s good or not, it’ll have consequences…”
“It’s funny,” Said Buffy frowning, “I like the word consequences so much better when my life isn’t hanging on the end of it…”
***
“Do you realise what you’ve done, Cordelia?” Asked Giles, his voice taut with anger and fear. “You could have single-handedly damned us all to a life so entirely different, a life where–“
“A life where what, Giles? My future is so very different from this life we all lead now.”
It’s better, cut in her conscience, but Cordelia didn’t voice it. She’d been standing in the library for just over ten minutes, listening as Giles berated her for what she’d done.
“People die, good people die – tell me that you could stand here and watch, knowing that unless you do something, the people who deserve it the least are going to be hurt the most.”
Giles looked at her, his eyes locked with hers.
“This isn’t about me, Giles. It never has been. From the minute I came back, it was about someone else.”
“Angel?”
“Angel.” She nodded, “In my future, in ours – he does something, something that he’ll regret forever. The Powers That Be sent me back here for a reason and I can’t help but think that it’s to change what happened – that somehow, maybe… Maybe Angel’s atoned for what he did and this here is his second chance. I told them about Angel’s curse because… Because it’s the right thing to do,” She said sadly.
“It hurts, but somehow… I know everything’s going to be okay. Angel and Buffy will be happy and… Everything’s as it should be.”
“What about you?” Asked Giles, frowning, “What about your happiness? Your second chance?”
“I had that when I was with Angel,” Replied Cordelia quietly. Angel had asked her that same question last night – her reply was still the same. This wasn’t for her – this was for him. “I’ve had my second chance, Angel wasn’t that lucky.”
“You have no idea what you’ve done, what you’ve caused.” The tone in Giles’ voice was one of defeat. Who knew what kind of life they were in for now, what would happen in the future?
What were the consequences of Cordelia’s unselfish, misplaced actions?
“I’m sorry but I couldn’t just stand there and watch it all happen again. Not when there was a chance that I could make it better.”
“It wasn’t your right.”
“Maybe not. But it was my decision. I know what I’ve done Giles and– I have to believe that it was for the best, that I did the right thing or else…”
“Or else what?” Prompted Giles.
“Or else all this hurting and pain was for nothing. I did what I came to do. I changed Angel’s past to give him a better future and you, nor anyone else is going to make me feel worse about that than I already do. I did the right thing.”
“At the expense of your happiness and God only knows what else.”
“I have to believe that there’s something better for Angel,” Said Cordelia, firmly. “I made a sacrifice, I’ll deal with the consequences.”
“No, WE’LL have to deal with the consequences, Cordelia, not you. It’ll be Buffy that has to deal with whatever the hell it is you’ve caused.”
“Then she’ll deal,” Snapped Cordelia, standing and grabbing her purse,
“Because she has her beloved Angel by her side. You think it was easy doing what I did? You think it was easy knowing that I’m in love with the guy that she is and telling him to change his future, knowing that he won’t ever have one with me? Damnit, Giles, you think you’re so knowledgeable sitting here with all of your books – move into the real world for five minutes.
To think that we’re the only ones here, that we’re the only ones who’ll ever have to deal is so unbelievably naive. There’s pain and there’s suffering and there’s people who die when they don’t deserve it. Maybe I changed it, maybe I stopped the hurting for just a little while…”
“And perhaps you didn’t.” Said Giles, coldly, trying to make her see that what she’d done could have very grave consequences, not just for her but for the others around her too. “Perhaps you further prolonged that suffering.”
“You don’t think I know that?” Annoyed, Cordelia folded her arms across her chest.
“In the future, I get visions. Visions of people in pain and suffering and it’s my job – no, my mission, to help them. If what I was shown of Angel was a vision, then I was sent back here to change his past. There’s a word for it, Giles. It’s called intervention. Angel loves Buffy, he’s happy with her and that’s all I ever wanted. To see him happy, to see him get his redemption – to see him be rewarded for fighting a fight that constantly brought him nothing but pain.”
“And this is it? You think this is his redemption?” Asked Giles, wearily, removing his glasses and rubbing them on the edge of his shirt.
“I don’t know, maybe…” Said Cordelia softly, “Maybe I never will know. This is one past I don’t want to change…”
“And what happens to you? Do you stay here, knowing what you’ve done?”
“I guess so… I mean, I didn’t see any bright shining lights taking me out of my body once I’d told them,” She shrugged, settling back down a little, “So maybe I just stay. Maybe this way I can make something better for myself too and not end up as a snack for Russell Winters.”
It seemed to hit her then, exactly what she’d done. Her parents would still lose their money – evading taxes forever just wasn’t something Mr. IRS looked over – but what would happen to her now? She’d never meet Doyle, Gunn… Never have her visions.
By giving Buffy and Angel their future, she’d made her own uncertain.
“I’ll be okay, Giles. Really… Whatever happens, whatever the fallout is of me telling Buffy and Angel this, they’ll deal with it – we’ll deal with it. It’s not like I can sit back and relax knowing what I know. I’m not saying I’m the world’s greatest fighter, but I can help. My computer skills are enough to make Willow jealous…” She smiled.
For the first time since she’d entered the library, Cordelia looked a little relaxed to Giles. This talk of helping, of putting herself in danger wasn’t one that he particularly liked, but it was no different than normal he supposed.
In one way, this was everything a Watcher could dream of – inside knowledge of what was going to happen, exactly when it was going to happen. And in another way, this was enough to corrupt the purest of anyone he knew. Who could resist knowing what was going to happen in their future?
“Cordelia, whatever happens from now, whatever hardships we face, you can’t tell them of what happens… You know that, yes?”
“I get it Giles,” She nodded, “Big no-no to the divulging of what happens in the future.”
For a moment, Giles paused just staring at Cordelia. What she’d done was nothing short of stupid – and yet nothing short of amazing either, because she truly had given Buffy and Angel the best thing she could have. She’d given them a chance of a future by jeopardising what was in hers.
“Hello? Earth to Giles…?”
“Oh… What?”
“You kinda zoned out on me there…”
Blushing faintly, Giles shook his head, “I was just wondering– Will you be all right Cordelia? You know that I’m here if ever you need anything.”
“Believe me,” Said Cordelia with a smile, “I’ll be maximising my rights to that offer once I realise that we aren’t demon searching in history and I have to actually write papers instead of y’know… Getting vanquish-ey with the evil.”
Chuckling, Giles nodded – realising that he wasn’t actually able to stop staring at this girl — this woman — in front of him. She’d changed an awful lot and to all of them, that had been an overnight occurrence.
For her, three years had passed and had made her blossom into this kind-hearted, if still a little tactless young woman. It made Giles strangely proud – and strangely apprehensive of the person Cordelia would now have to be to protect herself from the unknown. “You’ll come by if you need anything?”
“Promise,” She smiled, glancing down at her watch. As nice as this was – well, the parts after the yelling – Cordelia had things to do, other things, like trying to make sure her father didn’t go to jail for not paying his taxes. Something like that would have to be dealt with much subtlety – and even now, Cordelia had no idea what would happen to him, or if she could get him out of this mess.
Sure, Skip, thought Cordelia dryly, Drop me back into this life but don’t bother telling me something that’ll actually help me like lottery numbers maybe…
Broken from her thoughts by the sound of the library doors opening, Cordelia glanced up, Buffy and Willow’s voices echoing round the small room.
“I’m just saying you should be careful, that’s all,” Said Willow, “After all it is Cordelia that– Cordelia!” Her face flushed the moment she set sight on the other girl, fumbling for a way to end that sentence in a way that wouldn’t make Cordelia bitch-slap her to death.
“After all it is Cordelia that what?” Asked the brunette, darkly, eyes narrowing. “I see the ‘not telling people’ clause of the deal really worked out on your end, Buffy…” She snapped, her mood having dropped to Ice-Maiden the minute she’d heard her name being mentioned.
Usually, she didn’t care what other people thought about her – especially boyfriend-stealers like Willow Rosenberg, but this was different. She’d given up everything just so that Angel and Buffy could be happy – didn’t that at least count for something?
Without giving Buffy chance to explain, Cordelia frowned and grabbed her jacket and purse from the table. “Giles, I’ll come by to see you tomorrow…” She offered, tossing him a taut smile before sauntering out the doors.
“That was uncalled for.” Giles chastised, glancing first at Willow, then at Buffy, “I thought we agreed that this was going to go no further than those that already knew?”
“No, you agreed, Giles…” Said Buffy, “I didn’t get any say in it.”
“With good reason,” Said Giles, stiffly. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Willow or Xander with these things, after all, they’d been through such a lot together – it was the fact that if someone overheard them talking, Cordelia could be in a great amount of danger – more so than her status as Seer in the future, he supposed.
It was strange how her future was unequivocally linked with her past. In her future, she saw things before they happened – and now, she knew things before they happened… It was strange, in a way that Giles found fascinating. “If someone gets wind of this, Cordelia could be in a great deal of danger, Buffy. She knows exactly what’s coming round the next corner – many people will seek to put an end to that, or exploit it for their own gain…”
“What, so she knows what shoes are coming out next month? Big deal… Nobody cares about that except maybe her little tribe of minions.”
“Buffy!” Giles snapped, “Without her, you and Angel could have been well on the way to making the biggest mistake of your life… A little gratitude wouldn’t hurt.”
Petulantly, Buffy stepped back. It wasn’t so much the fact that it was Cordelia that it bothered her; it was the fact that someone had all the answers; every single answer and they were using them. Cordelia could know exactly what was round the corner for her – maybe it was her that Angel had killed when he’d gone all ‘grrr’ –
Buffy didn’t like knowing that somewhere, there were answers to her future, that somewhere, there was a person who could change all of it by a split-second decision. Sighing, Buffy glanced back up at Giles, “So what are you saying? I should watch over Cordelia?”
“Well, yes…” Said Giles, swiping his glasses from his nose in a quick motion, “That and… At least give her the benefit of some doubt, Buffy. She changed her life in order to try and make yours a better one. That deserves something.”
Buffy and Willow sighed. It wasn’t that they hated when Giles was right… They just hated that he was this right and about Cordelia too.
***
Later that night and Cordelia had placed a couple of anonymous phone calls to people asking what someone would do if they had ‘forgot’ to pay their tax for the last… Ever. The results hadn’t been what she’d hoped. It was either, turn themselves in, leave the country or get a face-lift that was entirely unrecognisable.
None of those options were quite what Cordelia had been hoping for, and none of them had helped to improve her mood.
Neither did being introduced to Aura’s latest flame.
Mike. Having only been dating Xander for a few months, Cordelia hadn’t quite committed social suicide by telling her friends they were sheep – so she was still more or less in the Cordette circle, empowered by the fact that, ‘we were so pleased you decided to dump that loser! We knew you’d come to your senses…’ and the rest of the comments she’d been receiving that night.
Aura’s flame took the cake. The perfect end to the perfect day, as far as Cordelia was concerned. He was a college guy, a senior – completely hot, cute… And a jerk. Not only had he tried to grope her at least four hundred times in the past hour, but he’d also spilt beer down her shirt, asking – with leer – if she wanted him to mop it up for her.
It had been a blessing then, when instead of mopping it up, Mike had offered to get her a beer. One had turned into two, two had turned into three and now, three had turned into so many that she couldn’t actually count…
Cordelia was drunk.
She remembered getting drunk in LA. Remembered getting so off-your-face-hammered that she’d had to get Doyle to open up her Tylenol when she’d been in more pain than he was post-vision. Remembered getting so drunk that she’d sang ‘We Are The Champions’ with Gunn and Wesley up on the stage in Caritas and hoping, more than anything, that Lorne would tell them that they were indeed ‘the Champions’ and that they could live without Angel.
But after many beers now, in the life where Cordelia wasn’t used to beer, she was thinking that maybe she couldn’t live without Angel or her friends. She was realising just what she was giving up and she hated it, hated it with every fibre of her being… And Mike was groping her again.
“Y’know,” She slurred drunkenly, pointing from the dark corner of the Bronze she’d found herself in, “Aura’s over there…”
True to her word, Aura was a little way away from the pair, dancing with some high school senior boy who’d evidently paid more attention to her than the college guy. At least with him, his hands weren’t finding the entirety of her body more than interesting.
“I see her,” He nodded, before turning his gaze back on Cordelia, her Prada dress hitched a little further up than was appropriate for a young lady. “More interested in what’s over here though…” His hand moved forward, settling on Cordelia’s thigh and squeezing lightly – it was a well-known fact that most of these high school girls were easy. Offer them a few drinks and a ride in your car and they were yours… Simple enough.
“Woah there, hey…” Said Cordelia, frowning slightly as her head spun – this was the part of being drunk she didn’t like, “I just broke up with someone. I’m not ready to get involved with another… Someone.”
His leer was unmistakable. He was out for what he could get and nothing else and no matter what the rumours said? Cordelia Chase never had been and never was going to be like that.
“Who said anything about getting involved?” He asked, smirking. “Besides, the way Aura tells it? The guy was a complete loser and not even remotely worth your time. You should move on to real men.”
Frowning, Cordelia pushed his hand away and stood up, smoothing down her dress. “Guess that takes you out of the running then, huh? Like I said,” She snapped, “Aura’s over there.”
Staggering away from him, Cordelia made her way past other Bronzers, threaded her way through tables and finally got to the bathroom, splashing some water on her face in an effort to sober up a little – her parents, while not winning any bets in the wonderful parentage game, would be decidedly pissed if she came home this drunk.
Glancing upwards, Cordelia looked at herself in the cracked mirror. It struck her then how, if you stared at something long enough, it started to blur, change shape and become something else. It struck her then that, it wasn’t her old-self she was looking at – almost 18-years-old with her full life ahead of her.
In the mirror, was her 21-year-old self – aged by seeing things she shouldn’t, aged by years of fighting alongside a man she was in love with – and aged even more by having to give him up.
Frowning as the regular churning in her stomach started, Cordelia pulled open the bathroom door, hand walking her way back into the Bronze. “Aura?” She called as she neared her friend, now firmly in the arms of the senior high schooler that Cordelia vaguely recognised. “I’m going home!”
A pause… And nothing.
Sighing, Cordelia moved back to where Mike was pouting, beer clutched in his hand like his only lifeline. “You’re leaving already?” He asked, standing up to place his hand on Cordelia’s arm, “But the fun was just getting started…”
“No, the fun was just ending.” She answered, pulling her jacket from the couch. She glared at him, once, hoping to tell him with just a look that it was extremely bad form to go some place with a date, then spend half the night groping her friend. She failed. Miserably. Instead, he found it endearing and incredibly sexy, apparently – because he darted forward, trying to catch her lips with his own…
She dodged; silently thanking Angel for all the lessons in LA that had most certainly paid off and heard him crashing into another couple. Using this to her advantage, Cordelia escaped, shrugging on her jacket as she left the Bronze, expensive shoes clicking against the sidewalk as she walked.
Mike, however, wasn’t so easily deterred. His motto was that he’d spent the money, listened attentively as she whined drunkenly about the Angel-guy she’d just split up with – and decided that he wanted… No, deserved something for that. Even if he only copped one feel from the brunette he’d been unsuccessfully trying to grope all night, that’d be enough – he’d tell his friends that more happened anyway.
Grabbing her round the wrist, he managed to turn her body, pressing her up against the wall in the back alley she’d chosen to walk home through. “Is that any way to treat a guy?” He asked, eyes dangerously dark as he used his body weight – and the fact that Cordelia was drunk – to his advantage. “We were just getting started…”
Cordelia, not intimidated just yet, glared up at him, “If you don’t move yourself right this second? I’ll show you what just getting started actually means in my terms.”
Mike chuckled, long and low, using his other hand to cup her cheek, trailing his thumb down the baby soft skin he found there. “Don’t be like that, Cordy… I hear you’re quite willing most of the time, providing the guy spends the money…”
Cordelia’s eyes flashed, a hurt look zipping onto her face. The old Cordy would never have let a comment like that bother her, would have retorted with a comment so blistering it hurt to even say it. Her day hadn’t been the best though – in fact this week just kind of sucked and Cordelia didn’t have the patience or the energy for a clever retort.
“Then maybe you shouldn’t believe everything you hear.” Said a voice from behind her, grabbing Mike and slamming him backwards into the opposite wall.
His eyes golden with rage, fangs bared, Angel stared at Mike, “You come near Cordelia or any of her friends again and I’ll kill you… Get me?”
His grip loosened and Mike was only too willing to oblige, eyes wide and terrified as he darted off down the alley, shaken to the core by Angel’s threat. Once he’d made sure he was gone, Angel turned on Cordelia, human face back in play, “You’re drunk.”
He tried to hide it, but even to Cordelia, his disgust was obvious… Fine, maybe she had let Mike go too far, maybe she hadn’t tried to stop him as hard as she could have but there was a reason for her being drunk and that reason was as large as life standing there in front of her. She’d wanted to forget about him… It hadn’t worked. Here she was, standing right in front of him – and when that happened? Really not easy to get him out of her mind…
“No shit, Sherlock…” She growled, glancing down at her wall-scraped arm. She was rapidly beginning to sober now, her mind processing exactly what had just happened. “You didn’t have to do that, I was handling it…”
“You weren’t handling it, Cordelia. You could have been…” His voice tapered off as he stared at her, wondering if she really was just that stupid.
“What, raped? Murdered? Hello, I worked three years with you; getting visions of the exact same thing you’re telling ME about! Don’t stand there and preach to me, Angel, I’m not one of your fucking helpless…”
He bristled at the words, startled by the anger in her voice. Just what was her problem? What, she wanted to die? She’d be doing a good job of it if that was her attitude, especially living in Sunnydale. “Cordelia–“
“And don’t ‘Cordelia’ me! God, I hate that tone of voice! It’s the one you use when I’m in trouble, or when you’re pissed! You don’t know me any more, Angel, you don’t get to use that voice!” She yelled and then, it sort of struck her. It wasn’t that Angel didn’t know her any more – it was that Angel didn’t know her at all.
There was nobody around to use that voice with her, nobody to yell at her when she’d peeled up the tiles on his kitchen floor, looking for actual linoleum, nobody to yell at her when she’d got the slightest little dent in his car – nobody to use that tone of voice on her when she was prying just a little too much and that just because he didn’t want to talk about it then, it didn’t mean he didn’t want to talk about it later.
He didn’t know her at all and through the fog of alcohol, things were starting to ache again.
“I-I have to go…” She whispered more subdued this time, feeling the tears prick the back of her eyelids. Damnit, she was not going to cry in front of him.
Before she could think of moving, Angel grabbed her wrist, “Cordelia, wait…”
“Whatever you’re going to say? It’s not going to make it better.” She said firmly, “Unless you can tell me that by some small miracle you remember the three years that haven’t happened yet? Nothing’s going to make this right again.”
He paused a moment, searching her face and eyes, wishing he knew what she wanted from him. “I can’t say that,” He acknowledged, ashamed almost at having to admit that. “I’m sorry…”
He was sorry. It was the thing she’d loved most about him – with other people, he was guarded, but with her, he’d let her see what was inside by just looking at her, by just letting her glimpse what was in his eyes. Clichéd, but true – his eyes really were the windows to his soul. “I know you are.” She said, sadly, looking down as the first tear slipped down her cheek.
“Why did you do it?” He asked, gently, “If you knew it would hurt this much, if you knew that you didn’t have to, that it wasn’t your place… Why did you change it all?”
“You really don’t get it, do you?” She whispered. He hadn’t asked about Ms. Calendar, about who’d died at his hands and Cordelia had never bothered telling him. It would hurt too much… Sometimes truth hurt more than lies and it was all you could do to cover it up.
“I know what they think… You probably think the same… That my life sucked, that I’d do anything just to change it all and that this, doing this was the way. I heard Willow earlier–” She offered, by way of explanation. “–But it’s not like that. I just… I don’t like seeing you suffer more than you have to.”
She hadn’t lied to him. It wasn’t an all out, blatant lie – but she hadn’t exactly told him the truth either. What was she supposed to say? ‘Pick me? Let me make you happy?’
For a start, Julia Roberts much?
Second of all – in that film, the non-blonde had been rejected. Of course, she didn’t see herself as being Julia Roberts or anything and going after a married man? Muchos-tacky – but the concept was the same. Realising in true Hollywood fashion that you loved your best friend at the very moment you found out that you were losing him, it had happened months ago when Skip had ordered her to that higher plane – it was happening now, only there was no wedding.
Yet.
There would be. Because now, they could be happy. They could have their Ever After and she… She could have what, visions that she mightn’t even get? An acting career? Doubtful – even she knew she sucked. What she had now was exactly what she had when she’d left high school.
Nothing.
Tentative friendships built up with people that she didn’t really know. Family relationships that were so strained they were almost non-existent…
And no knowledge of what was coming next.
She mightn’t have had that with Angel, but she’d always felt safe with him – always felt like maybe they could tackle whatever was coming, like a family should… Like they had done so many times over these past years. She could feel her shoulders start to shake and when Angel pulled her into his arms, the movement was so stilted and awkward that for a moment, it was okay – she wasn’t sinking into him like she had so many times. It wasn’t comfortable or even right, because this wasn’t her Angel…
But as she cried there and Angel’s hand slipped down to rest at her back, his other holding her close to him the way he had when Doyle died, Cordelia couldn’t help it. She stood there in the middle of the alley next to the Bronze, sobbing into his chest, wishing for all she was worth that she could take back what she’d done; even knowing it had been the right thing.
A few moments later and Angel had helped her into his car, watched as she curled up against the leather of his GTX Convertible and thought briefly of going back in to tell Buffy that he’d meet her later for patrol, that he needed to do something… He thought better of it. When Cordelia looked up at him, face streaked with mascara, eyes red from crying and whispered that it was okay, that she could get home from here, Angel shook his head. He wasn’t about to leave her alone, not now.
She’d done something for him, so amazing that it would have took his breath away if he had any – something that, regardless of what Buffy or her friends thought, was selfless and – as he felt – undeserving. He wanted to be happy with Buffy, wanted nothing but…
But seeing Cordelia like that had pained him, made him feel angry that she’d been given this decision, giving this momentous responsibility of changing his past in order to change his future… It should never have been put on her shoulders, not if it made her feel this way.
Climbing into the car across from her, Angel started the engine and pulled away from the Bronze, glancing over at her every so often as he drove. There was something about this whole thing that he didn’t understand and he was determined to get to the bottom of it, to find out why Cordelia had done it – since it so obviously wasn’t for the reasons she’d given him.
When he glanced over again, Cordelia had fallen asleep, curled up there on his front seat. He didn’t have the heart to wake her. Instead of driving to her house, Angel doubled back to his apartment and carried her from the car, placing her in his bed. With any luck, she’d be out until he came back from patrol with Buffy then, if she felt up to it, they could talk or he could drive her home.
Sitting down next to her for a moment, Angel stared. Her hair fanned out across his pillow, chin tucked into her chest almost as if she were guarding herself from something. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she took, shivering lightly as she dreamt.
Pulling the covers up around her, Angel sighed – last week, his life had been simple – he didn’t feel quite so guilty, not when Buffy was around and now… Now he shouldered every kind of guilt Cordelia had seemed to take on. Because of him, because of what he meant to her in the future, she was hurting now and Angel couldn’t help but feel guilty…
A moment later and Angel had stood to go until Cordelia had cried out in her sleep, called his name and a name he didn’t recognise. Connor. Then, she’d started to cry, whisper that she was sorry… And Angel didn’t have the heart to leave her there, let her wake up alone. Instead, he sat in a chair opposite her in his minimalist apartment, just watching her.
When she woke up, he’d be there… He couldn’t give her back her future, but it was a start.
