Part 22
“It doesn’t look like he’s wanting any help,” Gunn stood by the black Plymouth, his large stake dangling at his side.
“No.” Wesley placed his cross bow on the hood of the car. Wesley turned nudging at Gunn. The man looked to see Connor walking slowly towards them, his feet moving in their direction but his eyes on his father disseminating a large group of vampires, with unleashed power and force.
“You’re not helping.” Connor asked.
“Just be in the way,” Gunn shook his head at the violent tableau. “He’s…” Gunn shook his head again. “Wes, why is he in vamp rage, shouldn’t he be all whistly and hummy. He and Cordy….I mean what’s up with him. He hasn’t said a word, and just…..” Gunn pointed at the vampire moving and kicking in fast motion, leaving dust in his wake.
“Probably, just having a hard time dealing with the concept and I’m sure he’s angry about Wolfram & Hart’s plan for Angelus to kill Cordelia, and the sun will be rising soon. He’s motivated.”
“What plan? Those people that kept me prisoner wanted Angelus to kill Cordelia?” Connor asked staring hard at the two men. “Did he….”
Wesley quickly shook his head. “No, Connor, the plan failed. Angel never lost his soul and Cordelia is fine. In fact, we found the spell that will anchor his soul. Once done, there will never be any danger from Angelus.”
Connor blinked. “Angelus is gone.”
“Will be. Cordelia had a vision before we could do it. But, I imagine, Angel will want it done as soon as possible.” Wesley looked back to the fight. “Which should be about now.”
“That was the quickest I’ve seen in awhile.” Gunn said in admiration as Angel staked the last vampire.
“Of course, he was in a hurry,” Wesley said.
Angel pocketed his stakes and walked back over to the car. He said nothing, reaching back into his coat tossing his keys to Connor. “If you want.” He turned away.
“Angel, aren’t you going back to the hotel. We should do the spell as soon as possible. Don’t you want to? The immediate danger is over; well the sun is actually becoming an immediate danger. Angel.” Wesley called to the retreating vampire.
“Maybe he thinks it’s quicker to go on foot- you know, vamp speed.” Gunn suggested. “Though, why he doesn’t want the security of the top, tinted windows and blanket…. Wes, talk to me.”
Wesley raised a brow. “He can’t do the spell by himself. We’re here.”
“Maybe Cordy’s.”
“Without doing the spell?”
“All right, I give up.” Gunn threw up his hands. “Don’t see you having a clue as why the vampire just went strolling into the rising sun. Damn.” Gunn went running, as the sun broke over the horizon.
Wesley followed, Connor taking off past both into the alley Angel disappeared in. “Sewer.” He pointed to the tilted manhole cover.
Gunn bobbed his head, trying to get his heavy breathing under control. “Told you, the vamp knew a speedy shortcut.” Gunn shook his head. “Hey, kid, give me those,” Gunn grabbed the keys Connor still had in his hand.
“He said I could drive.”
“No, he didn’t, he just threw them.”
“He said if I want.”
“Well, he’s not the one that will be killed if you drive.” Gunn got in the car. “Are you coming.”?
“Connor.” Wesley questioned.
“I don’t see why I can’t drive, he gave the keys to me.” Connor slid into the backseat.
“Cuz, you can’t drive.” Gunn started the Plymouth and headed back to the hotel.
Part 23
“Thank you, Dennis,” Cordelia said softly, taking the gauze in the air. Once secure on her body a blanket came up to float around her. “No, thanks.” Cordelia slumped down on the couch. She wished she could cry. But all her tears had fled, along with the anger, leaving nothing but an aching shock.
Her mind and body were too numb to even grasp the concept of what happened. Cordelia knew she should be mad, should be hurting. Isn’t it supposed to hurt when your heart has been broken? She didn’t know anymore, she just felt nothing. Dull hazel eyes, still red, gazed at the dim dawn light she saw rising from the shade of the heavy curtain and then at front door.
Cordelia got slowly up going to her hall closet. Her searching became more frantic trying to find potion she all but forgot about through the years. With a grunt, she pulled three years of living down from the top shelf, her hand reaching to the back. She closed her eyes as she felt the small container.
With a low sigh, she took it down, mumbling barely remembered words as she sprinkled the contents across the entrance to her home.
She stumbled back memorized by the settling ingredients floating to the floor. With the last strangled word, the nausea built back up with the pain, forcing her to her knees in front of the toilet, throwing up her heart. Cordelia gazed at the water swirling at the flush, wondering if she would ever get it back.
Slumped against the porcelain tub, she found her tears again.
***
Angel’s slow walk through the darkness of the tunnels became a run, turning swiftly at each bend and corner, just running. Angel pounded on the muddy, slushy surface, he didn’t know where he was going or if he was running away or towards something- he just ran hoping that some coherent thought would break through his mind’s haze that some instinct would guide him.
He stopped, his shoes cemented to the ground as he looked up to the obscure ladder. Angel may not have known but his feet did. Angel braced his back on the rungs of the ladder. To go up would be to enter Cordelia’s apartment complex. Angel slumped trying to find his thoughts.
With a single decision, he had destroyed everything. Angel wanted to damn Wesley for not telling them about the spell sooner. But, Angel knew that he was the one to be damned. He should have…. Angel didn’t know what he should’ve done, but what he did do he knew was wrong in so many different ways.
Angel looked again up at the access way, he had to make another decision now. Chances were it would be wrong too. The easy thing would be just to go, carry on with the hell he made for himself. It really wouldn’t be that difficult to go back to being that shadow demon he was before Cordelia. It may even be comforting to dwell once more in darkness, not apart of life, just there.
The pain could be his companion. It was a familiar one. Angel thought hard trying to feel beyond the moment.
Angel knew by Cordelia’s actions that she wouldn’t leave. She couldn’t either more than he could. But, before, he knew with surety that he could see her, hear her, feel her presence and stay away because of if the plan had worked like was supposed to- she would have kept her distance from him, her love fading at what Angelus had done.
It would’ve worked because it was the love that he found irresistible and would have reminded him daily of what could’ve happened. Except now his biggest fear couldn’t happen. Angel groaned his head banging on the metal rungs.
Angel had to be honest with himself now- the subject too great to deny or not feel through. Would he be able to resist, knowing now that there was a way that Cordelia could love him without danger to him or herself or would Angel just start that way keeping his distance, slowly crowding Cordelia, becoming increasingly obsessed with her, trying to seduce, manipulate or just beg her to love him again.
Without the fear of Angelus would he rationalize his need would he act on it? Would he even cause more harm to the young woman that he loved.
Time, love, need and instinct need would be his enemy on that course of action. Leaving would be the best option. But it was the only option he knew he couldn’t do. Angel couldn’t leave her, even if she hated him, he had to stay and make sure she was protected, he couldn’t leave Connor, and he didn’t want to leave his family or the mission. God, would his souled life always be one fuck up after another.
Angel stood. He had only one chance and he was many things but not a coward. Who was he kidding? He was the biggest coward on the planet when it came to Cordelia. Still. Angel climbed; he had to talk to her. If she understood, then maybe one day she may forgive.