Skills of Observation

Title: Skills of Observation
Author: Scorched
Posted: Dec 05
Rating: PG
Category: Humour
Content: C/A implied
Summary: My mini-series for the TIO Confessions theme.
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: GTTIO, AO.
Notes: *sigh* Here we go again LOL!


Cordelia turned towards the window and stared up at the darkening skies, her shoulders sagged under the threat of an obscene amount of rain. It was too wet to go out, too wet for demons to cause havoc, and therefore no visions.

There was absolutely nothing to do and everyone at Angels Investigations was, in a nutshell, bored to tears.

Angel kept wandering around and sighing about rearranging his room so many times, his back was aching. Wesley was currently dusting the office, Gunn was cleaning his axe away, and Fred had reached her thirtieth turn of Solitaire.

While Cordelia, being the super seer she was, was busy using telepathy to try and move the clouds. At least then they could go somewhere without getting soaked to the bone.

“Urgh,” she turned from the window in disgust. “Whoever invented rain needs killing. Angel, go find them and bite them dead.”

The vampire glanced at her. “Love to.”

Cordelia smiled at the glimmer of longing in his gaze. Angel liked violence far too much. “You need to get out more.” Her feet took her to the small circular sofa and she haphazardly sat down with a thump. “There has to be something to do.”

Fred looked up from the nine of clubs. “Any ideas?”

Wesley groaned and interrupted Cordelia’s reply by throwing the dust rag across the lobby. “This is bloody…” He growled under his breath and joined the seer on the couch. “The books have been balanced thrice, the office would reflect Angel, and the books are now in order of size.”

The seer patted his thigh and Angel’s glare went unnoticed. “There, there Wes.” Cordelia let her head drop onto the Englishman’s shoulder, and again the vampire’s black stare was ignored. “You could always make us all some of the breakfast tea you like so much.”

“I’m not quite that bored, but thank you for the suggestion.”

“We could always sing songs.” Fred piped up helpfully from her place on the floor. “That was one of my favourite ways to pass time in Pylea. Row Your Boat can be fun.”

“Fred,” Cordelia’s eyes travelled to the Texan, “Have you heard Angel?”

“Hey!” The vampire in question defended. “I’m not that bad, I mean I got a round of applause last time.” Maybe it was just a two or three claps, but he got claps just the same.

“I meant that in a sensitive way.” The brunette smiled a smile that showed she clearly didn’t. “Oh come on, people! Look at us. Two brainiacs, a 250 year old vampire, a homie, and a beautiful seer. We have got to come up with something. Gunn?”

Cordelia got silence. “Gunn!” Her voice rose, but still she got nothing. She reached down and removed her shoe, carefully aiming before throwing at a jean covered shin bone.

“Ow!” Gunn yelped and sent a glare her way, a hand rubbing the sting away. “What did you do that for?” His glare went from Cordelia to a sniggering Wesley, and finally to a quietly chuckling vampire. “Crazy ass white chick.”

“How many times have you listened to that Sean Paul album in the last three days?”

Gunn scratched his head and took an earphone out of a bruised ear. The relieved eardrum could be heard sighing across all states. Judging by the way his brain was saying the words before Sean, the appropriate answer was, “Too many times.”

“Okay Mz Ideas, what do you think we should do?” Wesley pitched in before she could start on him.

Cordelia shrugged. “I don’t know, what do you think we should do?”

“I don’t know. It’s entirely up to you.”

Angel saw where that conversation was going and put a stop to it before it turned contagious. He dragged his bored feet over too where he could stand behind Cordelia. “Are you sure you don’t feel a vision coming on? Maybe a kid is stuck in the sewer…”

Hazel eyes met his as her head rolled back. “Angel honey, don’t go there.”

Wesley sniggered again and nudged Cordelia with his elbow. “Remember when you cut off…” The hard stare he received had him shutting up.

“My hair,” the seer finished, not entirely too convincing. She laughed oh so falsely. “Yes, I remember when I cut my hair. I also remember it taking ten days for you to notice.”

“I noticed,” Angel fibbed. Any way to gain points with Cordelia was a good way. “I just didn’t want to say anything.”

Both Wesley and Cordelia glanced at him. “Of course you did.” She stated disbelievingly and rolled her eyes. “Because nothing gets past you.” Her voice clearly said the opposite.

Angel didn’t miss the sly little glance exchanged between the seer and ex-watcher, nor did he miss the identical way they both fought a grin. “What?”

Cordelia cleared her throat. “Nothing.”

When Wesley spluttered a cough, the vampire just knew there more than nothing going on here. It really better not be what he thinking, because that wouldn’t be very wise. “What?” Angel’s lopsided grin hid the way his brain jumped to conclusions, “Did I miss something?”

“No, no.” The brunette schooled her features into an expression of innocence. “Honestly Angel,” her hand patted the large one resting on the back of the sofa. “You haven’t missed a thing.”

Yeah. Of course he hadn’t missed a thing. He laughed lightly, “I’m 247 years old Cordelia, I didn’t come down in the last rain shower. I know when something’s going on.”

Wesley rubbed his lips and the vampire was sure he just saw a smirk appear. Paranoia instantly set in. “What’s going on?” Angel’s tone was serious. He really hoped Wes wasn’t stupid enough to even think of doing anything he shouldn’t with Cordelia.

“Like I said,” his seer stated with expressive hand motions, “Nothing.”

He wasn’t gonna fall for that. She looked far too innocent for there to be nothing going on. “Yeah, and I’m a fairy Godmother.”

Cordelia looked back and up at him, “Would I lie to you?”

Oh, now that stung. Angel stood straight with muscled arms folded across his chest, deep brown eyes pouring two centuries worth of cruelty and torture into hazel eyes. He held her stare until she shivered under the intensity. His threatening glare always hit the spot.

Sometimes, being a vampire with a bad rep was useful when it came to handling Miss Chase.

Unlike the seer, Wesley didn’t enjoy being the focus of a potentially dangerous vampire and he turned away with a cough. “I think I may have missed a spot dusting…”

“The missed spot can wait a minute.” Angel clipped out, never once removing his gaze from Cordelia. “Wes, you mentioned something about cutting something off, and then all the looks started.”

Hazel eyes darted away and a curved body nervously shifted. “What looks?”

“There were looks. I saw them. Like this…” Angel imitated the looks exchanged between Wesley and Cordelia. Gunn’s chortle was cut short when the vampire’s silent threats were turned on him.

“I didn’t say a word.”

“You didn’t have too.” Angel went back to the two conspirators. “I know there’s something to do with cutting.” When he said it like that, it almost sounded like the cutting had to do with him. There were a few choice places he knew Cordelia wanted to cut off sometimes, but that couldn’t be what was implied. Right?

“Paranoia doesn’t suit you.” Cordelia braved the glare and returned her attention to the vampire. “It’s nothing for you to worry about. Really.”

“After all, you didn’t notice and it grew back… Ow, Cordelia!” Wesley held the back of his head and shot her a piercing look through his glasses. Slowly, he glanced up at Angel who was now concentrating totally on him and he gulped.

“What didn’t I notice that grew back?”

There were two things that grew back after being cut, and they were nails and hair. Angel couldn’t really imagine Cordelia cutting nails, especially not his. That left his hair…

“You wouldn’t?” The vampire tipped his seer’s chin up and made her look him in the eye and deny his thoughts.

“Wouldn’t what?” Cordelia squeaked and turned on the charm. Eyelashes battered and her smile was one that had the possibility to stop wars. Still, it looked like Angel was unmoved. “This is so not working is it?”

“Not one little bit.” Angel let her face go and walked around the sofa, purposely taking his time just to let her fret. When he was directly in front of the quaking brunette, he knelt down and notched up some his personal charm. The kind of charm that took 250 years to perfect.

Again, she shivered and again averted her eyes, but two hands grasped her cheeks and turned her face to him. If she was going down, then Wesley was going with her. “He knew all along.” A manicured finger jabbed at the ex-watcher. “He saw me do it.”

He gasped and cowed under the vampire’s stare. Damn that girl. “You tell-tale.” Wesley sniped and jabbed a finger right back. “Whatever happened to friendly loyalty?”

“Yes,” Angel’s smile was razor sharp, “What happened to friendly loyalty?”

By now, Fred and Gunn had abandoned their respective boredom killers, and were now watching the debacle with avid interest.

“So what did Wes here watch you do?” Angel’s gaze went back and forth between two of the people he used to trust.

“I cut your hair,” Cordelia stated after a minute trying to find a way out of it. “But it was only a few spikes. See? It was nothing. And they did grow back.” Well, they did after six months. “Besides, it technically wasn’t you, so you have absolutely no reason to be angry.”

Although, she’d rather face his anger than the wrath of the evil twin.

“When, uh, exactly did you cut my hair?” Apart from the short two times he’d lived with her, Angel couldn’t figure out when she would have had the opportunity to take the scissors to his hair.

Wesley looked at Cordelia, and then the vampire. “It really was a long time ago, there’s no use in dredging up the past. Let sleeping dogs lie, as they say.”

Taking candy from a baby was easier than throwing off Angel. “The only long time ago when I wasn’t technically myself, was when Rebecca put something in my dri…” He drifted off. That sneaky, underhanded seer of his was really overdue for a spanking. Before he had a chance to say anything in retaliation,

Cordelia had jumped off the couch and stared at everyone present. “Don’t pull the holier-than-thou on me, Angel! So I cut your hair and Wes watched, but you totally deserved that a-and more! There isn’t one person in this room that doesn’t have something to confess, so don’t slam us down for getting a little revenge.”

When she was done, hands went to hips and jaw was raised, hazel eyes dared people to deny what she said wasn’t the truth.

“Well, there was that time in Sunnydale when I let you get slimed…” Angel mused thoughtfully, then realised his blunder when those daring hazel eyes turned deadly.

“You did what?!”

End of One


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *