I am Your Father

Title: I am Your Father
Author: Sunscorched
Posted: 04/12/03
Rating: R
Category: Humour
Content: C/A
Summary: A drunk Angel and Cordy with an eavesdropping Connor!
Spoilers: Only if you don’t know the Connor story
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Distribution: NF as always, if you want it ask and thou shall receive!

“Ok, on three” Cordelia grinned drunkenly at the vampire opposite her on the bed, “One..two…three” they both downed their Tequila shots in one.

“I’m so drunk, I can barely see straight” Angel giggled like a maniac as he dropped his shot glass onto the floor.

Connor stood outside listening to their drunken banter with a slight smile on his face. The vampire Holtz had told him about didn’t seem like the one inside the bedroom that was obviously very intoxicated.

“Oooh, I know this really funny Christmas song I used to sing at Christmas” Cordelia spoke up brightly, her cheeks flushed and her hair a complete mess.

“Come on them Mish. Chase, ashtound me with your impass-imposs-impressive Chrishmash singing talents” Angel slurred drunkenly.

“Ok” Cordelia agreed, “Jingle bells Batman schmells, Robin flew away. He lost his pants in the middle of Franch and found them in Bombay!” she giggled wildly and was joined by Angel.

Both were clutching their stomachs as tears of laughter rolled down their faces at her ryhme! “Corky, you’re a hoot” Angel proclaimed when he got himself under control somewhat.

“Did you jusht say I was a hooter?” Cordelia asked with a beaming grin as she reached for the Tequila bottle, forgoing the glass.

“Um-ummm” Angel shook his head, “I said you’re a hoot, but with those things you could so work at Hooters” he told her.

Cordelia looked down and examined her breasts, “I could, couldn’t I?” she asked, “It’sh a shame they don’t have a Hooters that men work in. With the size of your babies, you could manage the place!”

Outside, Connor gave a disgusted look and shuddered. He hoped Cordelia wouldn’t keep talking about Angel’s…bits, he didn’t want to know about them. Now, Cordelia’s hoot…breasts were another story! The teenager gave a very Angel-like cocky grin at the thought of Cordelia’s breasts!

Inside the bedroom…

“I don’t have Hooters like you Cordy, so what partsh of my atho-ano-anatomy were you referring to?” Angel purred drunkenly.

“Your bat and balls, you have incredibly large male parts Angel” Cordelia replied then she started fanning herself, “Is it me or is it hot in here?” she asked as she flushed from more than alcohol.

“I have a fan, hang on I’ll get it for you” Angel jumped off the bed, rushed to get his electric fan, plugged it in and sat down. All in the space of about twenty seconds.

“Angel you are such a show off” Cordelia accused as she took another huge drink of Tequila directly from the bottle.

Angel started giggling like a maniac again when he sat staring at the fan, “Corky, check this out” he picked up the fan and started talking in a deep voice through the rotating blades. “Luuuke, I am yourrr fatherrr”

Cordelia started snorting with laughter, “You are such a Star Wars freako, you know that?”

Angel nodded happily and did it again, “Luuuke, I ammm yourrr fatherrrr!” and went into fits of laughter, joining Cordelia yet again.

Outside, Connor was smiling listening to Angel pulling off a mimic to the Star Wars film Cordelia and Gunn had made him watch last week. It was pretty funny the way Angel was speaking.

Angel sat up suddenly, bright with an idea, “Corky, Corky” he got her attention, “Lishten to this, it’s so funny!” he told her. “Connnooorr, I ammm yourrr fatherrr!” Angel spoke into the fan.

Cordelia sat straight faced for all of two seconds then exploded, her laughter was silent as she struggled for breath and her stomach hurt.

Holding back, Angel repeated his words, “Connnooorr, I ammm yourrrr fatherrrr!” then he, too, exploded and dropped the fan on the floor.

Vampire and seer silently laughed at Angel’s imitation of Darth Vader, they gripped each other as they shared tears of laughter and drunken joy.

Ouside, Connor was struggling not to laugh himself, it was pretty funny! He desperately wanted to go in and join them, but he hesitated for all of two seconds before going into the room to join Angel and Cordelia.

Hell, if he was lucky they might give him some of that Tequila stuff!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *