Part 11
“Cordelia, this is a surprise.” How Giles managed to reign in the sarcasm, he didn’t know. It was certainly no shock to see the brunette on his doorstep, but what was a surprise was the fact it had taken her so long to do so.
The cheerleader’s smile was purely designed to hide her ulterior motives. Her shoulders slightly swayed and hazel irises peered up through darkened lashes. “Hi.”
Giles resisted the urge to arch an eyebrow. “Hello.” She said nothing. “Would you like to come in?”
“Well, I was hoping to stand out here all night, but sure. Why not?” Cordelia didn’t need a second invitation before breezing past the watcher, walking into his place like she owned it.
No, he rethought, like she owned the block.
He sighed and closed the door, then took a moment to get his wits together. Dealing with one Cordelia was a feat in itself, but dealing with two? This would certainly test his sanity.
“Oh look, it’s me with a heart beat. How quaint.”
Not to be outdone, Cordelia crossed her arms and pinned the vampiress with a haughty look. “Oh look, it’s me with fangs. How creepy.”
And so it begins. Giles resigned himself to whatever the night would hold for him. He massaged his temples and turned to face the music. “Would you like a drink?”
He received two expressions. One of wicked delight and one of blankness. “If you’re offering, who am I to say no?”
“It was not quite meant to be taken in that context. Tea?” He couldn’t expect anything less from a vampire, especially one who seemed to have a morbid fascination with his jugular.
Cordelia, the human one, smiled and declined in the polite way she’d been taught. It was bit more difficult to keep her composure since there was a girl with her face sat there, her smile, her clothes, her voice, and being, well, her. “No, actually I came here for a reason.”
The vampiress grinned and rose from the couch. Her motions had the cheerleader looking on in envy as unnatural grace accompanied every step.
“You have got to show me how you do that.” Cordelia’s nose crinkled up as she replayed that image in her head, just to make sure when she tried it, she got it right.
“Well?” The vampiress demanded with hands on her hips. “You came to see me, I take it. Unless…” She slyly glanced to Giles. “There’s something you’re not telling me…?”
The watcher shot her a deadpan glare and shook his head, while Cordelia barely raised an eyebrow. “You got me. Giles and I are having an illicit affair, and though you can’t tell, I’m expecting his secret love child.”
She said in such a blunt, dry manner with no emotion whatsoever that even Giles had to chuckle at the absurdity of it. The vampiress, however, was grinning from ear to ear and clapping in delight.
“A mini Rupert! How cute would that be?” She just may have to rethink her plan to get Angel and Cordelia together. If only to see what the little critter would look like. She thought of a teeny tiny baby in a tweed onesie. “Aw!”
Both Giles and Cordelia looked at her as though she were a strange animal. “What?” The vampiress defended. “Does being dead mean I can’t appreciate a itty bitty baby? I know Angelus likes them.”
Now Giles and Cordelia were staring at her with varying amounts of disgust on their faces. “Yes,” the watcher said at length. “I bet he does.”
Cordelia shuddered. “Ew.”
The vampiress wholeheartedly agreed. “I’m right there with ya, believe me. I may like babies, but I don’t like the extras. God. Fangs and baby spew?” She shook her head. “That’s just so very wrong. Anyhoo, why the visit?”
“Oh, I just wondered if you’d like to escape the boredom that is here for a while.” If she could get the vampire alone for a good few hours, then she would have the chance to properly grill her on everything Angelus. The curiosity was driving her insane.
The vampiress had to stop herself from rubbing her hands together in glee. Cordelia had single-handedly helped the matchmaking and she didn’t have a clue. That cheerleader was not just a pretty face.
“Sure,” the vampiress began to plan and dream up ways to bring Angel into the conversation. Perhaps there was a way to get Angel to tag along with her and Cordelia. Could be fun.
Giles shot the cheerleader a worried glance. He might trust the vampiress around her, but the general public was a different matter altogether.
“A bunch of us are hitting the Bronze later and I thought since I have next to nothing to wear, that maybe we could go shopping.” Before the vampiress could use the fact she had no money, “My treat.” Daddy wouldn’t miss a few dollars.
Shopping and a party? God. The vampiress almost died from the excitement. Ooh! If she played this just right, then this could work in her favour. No sooner had she thought of her clever plan than Giles found himself the target of the most pleading set of golden eyes he’d ever seen. She looked like an eager puppy desperate to go out.
Which she was in a way.
The watcher focused on who the pleading golden eyes belonged too. “I’m not sure.”
The vampiress happy smile faded into one that was neither warm or chilly. “Can I remind you that I am a vampire,” she said lightly. “There’d be nothing you could do about it if I chose to walk out of here right now. Because of the whole itch n scratch thing we have going on, I’ve asked. Trust goes both ways.”
Giles had to give her the point. “I can’t argue with that, but as you yourself pointed out, you are a vampire.” He didn’t need to say anything more.
“If it makes you feel better, you can get Angel to make sure I don’t get out of line. Or you could come along.” The smile now on her face was everything filthy. “I’m sure we could make it fun for you.” A pink tongue dipped out to slowly lick a line across her lower lip and she winked.
Giles blushed and Cordelia rolled her eyes. “I’m sure Angel would be more than happy to escort you two lovely ladies for the night.”
“Then it’s settled,” the vampiress beamed. “We’re going shopping.”
There was a tiny pause which made the Englishman quiver in fear. “We’ll stop by to pick you up after we’re done, so be sure to dress snazzy.”
***
He was slowly going insane.
They’d been in the same shop for over an hour and what remained of his sanity was being eaten up by the swarms of people bustling past him. Angel was ready to cannibalise his own brain when he saw the vampiress saunter out of the shop, followed by an irate Cordelia.
He grit his teeth together.
Neither of them had bags. Which meant the loss of his sanity was all in vain.
Damn women.
“Tell her, Angel.” Oh hell. They were going to drag him into this. Kill him now.
Cordelia, the human one, simply huffed and crossed her arms over her chest in a way that emphasized her cleavage. “I’m not your little Barbie doll. You’re not dressing me up.”
The vampiress didn’t back down. “I can’t actually believe you’re dissing my taste. Did you see what you were going to wear? Willingly?” She faced Angel, who gamely tried to be interested. A finger pointed somewhere him. “Would you let your woman wear that?”
Angel swallowed back mild panic as he glanced over his shoulder, fearing what he would see. A short skirt that, on Cordelia, would probably reach an inch or two above her knees, and a matching sweater top. If the cheerleader wore that top with that skirt, there’d be more than eyebrows raising.
He blatantly refused to say anything. It was a dangerous situation.
“Need I remind you two that I am on a date tonight. It’s expected to wear less than normal for your boyfriend.” Cordelia defended her choice in outfit. Honestly? She really did like it. The colours were a nice shade of blue and they were so pretty. Plus it was Valentino.
The vampiress groaned out loud. “Do you really wanna look like a fairy princess gone wrong?”
“What do you think I should wear, huh?” Cordelia asked. “Chain mail skirt and a leather thong?”
The answering grin was enough and both Angel and the cheerleader rolled their eyes. “Alright, alright,” the vampiress said through her increasing smile. “You veto’d the chain mail, I veto’d the princess outfit. Since Angel’s ready to sign up for death row, he doesn’t get to veto.” Which worked just fine in her world.
It meant she could squeeze Cordelia into some skimpy piece of nothing and he wouldn’t be able to say a thing about it. The vampiress resisted the urge to giggle evilly. She was so going to put the girl onto Angel’s radar, big style.
“Okay, who’s had enough of this hellhole?” Golden orbs went from the brunette to the vampire, a single eyebrow raised in question.
Thank you, God. Angel was ready to leave before they even got here.
“But we haven’t found anything for tonight,” Cordelia protested, and Angel really wanted to stuff cotton wool balls down her throat.
To his horror, the vampiress sighed. “Cordy, Cordy, Cordy.” The poor girl was so young. It was a good thing she was here. She flung one arm around the cheerleader and one around Angel, smiling happily as she slyly eased out from between them so they were holding each other.
“I know some great shops, and more importantly, I know some great shops where I can get credit.”
It took Angel all of two seconds to realise what shops the vampiress intended on going to and whose credit she planned on using. His brown eyes widened to a size never before seen on anything or anyone. The cheeky little minx. She was honest to goodness going to use the House funds to purchase clothes for herself and Cordelia.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t seem to make his mouth work in order to stop her, nor could he seem to move. All he was able to do was stand there, staring as the vampiress led Cordelia away, and probably astray.
“H-Hey! You can’t do that.” Too late. They were already swallowed by the crowd of late night shoppers.
***
Angel was going to kill Giles.
He was going to string him up by a chosen appendage and kill him. Not just kill, but kill kill. Really kill.
He’d caught up to them seconds before they’d gone into a little known shop and he had been made to stand in the main part of the shop while the vampiress dragged Cordelia down the stairs, and into the darker side of the playground.
The instant he heard the surprised shriek, he knew Cordelia saw the kind of clothes the vampiress wanted to put her in. Angel caught the eye of the sales assistant, who offered a sympathetic smile in reply to his grimace.
No more than a minute later Angel was being ushered down stairs by a woman with long black hair and wearing an outfit that left less than little to the imagination. Maybe it was just as well he was going down there.
Who knew what the vampiress was trying to get Cordelia to wear. He never got the chance to find out because when he finally pushed past the door, the cheerleader was already in a dressing room, and the vampiress was lounging in a chair, sipping tea.
“What took you so long?” She quizzed between dainty sips. “Want one, Angelus?”
The dark haired girl gasped and was suddenly a ball of helpful energy. He was half shoved into a comfortable chair with an order for blood on the way, and a male assistant called for.
Angel tried to be patient. Smiling politely, “I’m not shopping, thanks.”
“He is,” Cordelia bellowed from the changing room.
The polite smile faltered. “No, I’m not.”
His reply was waved off by a slender hand. “We’ll take a pair of leather pants, dark brown if you have them. A matching shirt. Silk, of course, and if you have any, Cuban heeled boots.”
Angel glared at the vampiress who took it upon herself to dress up as though he was her personal Ken doll. The glare, which could make a grown man piss his pants, had no effect whatsoever. If he was going down, then he was going down his way.
“Make it black.”
When the vampiress smiled like the cat who got the cream, he felt as though he’d just played into her hands. It was a very unsettling feeling.
Then her smile dropped into something unrecognisable. “Black leather pants, a red silk shirt, black combats. Rubber heel. Not forgetting a plain black belt.” Golden eyes slid over to him. “You are wearing the Aurelius insignia, right?”
He wasn’t planning on it.
“What’s the Aurelius insignia? Is that the family emblem or something?” Cordelia’s words came accompanied with sounds which could only belong to that of clothes being removed or put on.
The vampiress leaned close to Angel, lowering her voice to a whisper. “The curiosity is just eating you up, isn’t it?”
Ignoring one Cordelia in favour of the other, “Yes. Each house has a symbol of sorts.”
“Like in Darcy days when they used wax stamps?”
“Similar, yes.” As long as the topic stayed off what the cheerleader was pouring herself into, then he was a’okay. He cleared his throat, thanked the dark haired girl for his blood, and continued answering the changing room door.
“Do you use wax still, or have you moved with the times?”
The vampiress saw an opportunity and seized it with both hands. “Aurelius has a range of accessories. Belt buckles, signet rings, and in my case, a hair clip. Hey! I have an idea. Since Cordy’s an honorary family member, she should have something. I would give her my ring, but I haven’t taken it off in over a year.”
Angel watched as deep thought crossed over her face, and she began to tap her fingernails off the chair arm. He saw the bulb light up before she opened her mouth. “I know. Why don’t you give her your ring?”
The sounds from the dressing room stopped and he guessed Cordelia was as uncomfortable with this conversation as he was. He shifted in his seat, carefully avoiding both the vampiress gaze and the glass of warm human blood on the small coffee table.
There was a pause. “I don’t think it’d go with my outfit.”
Now Angel felt like a first rate asshole. He heard the softened tone and could picture her head lowering. That was something she often did when she either wanted to hide or when she had her feelings hurt.
It was weird how he knew that.
“Besides,” Cordelia got in before he had a chance. “If I wore his, what would he wear?”
If the vampire only put two and two together, he’d click on to the fact she’d asked for a plain black belt. “You can wear it if you want.”
The vampiress smiled happily into her tea cup. Things were going swimmingly. “You know Angelus, he wouldn’t have hesitated. In fact, he’d have that ring glued on by now.”
The noises in the changing room stopped and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why. “I think he’d like you, Cordy…” A laugh bubbled up. “Of course he’d like you. You’re me, or I’m you. Anyway, do you like her, Angel?”
A snigger came from behind the door. “Laughable.”
Angel smiled. “What she said.”
Oh, the vampiress thought, inside jokes. Perfect.
“I’d hate to see what he would have done if he hated me.”
“That one’s easy,” the vampiress smirk was as evil as they come. “Kill you, and I don’t mean quickly. He loves nothing more than a good game of cat and mouse.” She sighed fondly. “He loves to know who’s better. Him or the enemy.”
Cordelia snapped in a deep breath. “And if he likes you?”
Angel’s silent warning for her to shut up went completely ignored. “He’ll turn on the charm. Wine, roses, the occasional body part. I got a rib once. Darla got it made into a necklace for my first birthday.”
“A rib?” Cordelia squeaked.
“Angel, be a dear and explain to our adorably naive Cordy the significance of the rib.”
He stared at the vampiress, feeling nothing short of amazement. “The ribcage protects the heart.”
The vampiress merely smiled and continued bragging about the charms of Angelus. “Surprise visits, midnight phone calls, and I cannot stress this enough, incredible sex.”
Cordelia was still stuck on the body part bit. “Yeah, cus nothing says I like you more than an arm in a box.” She guessed even Angelus was big into the Buffy love. Cordelia’s shudder went unseen as she wondered who to feel sorry for. The vampire or the slayer.
The vampiress immediately quashed the cheerleader’s thoughts. “It wouldn’t be an arm. It’d be a heart. All full and red, the scent of death still fresh… Are you drinking that?” Hungry eyes stared long and hard at the glass of blood, her tongue constantly licked her lips.
Angel slid the glass to the vampiress and watched her inhale it, complete with orgasmic noises. “Enjoy that?” He asked when she was done, which was two seconds, three at the most.
“After nigh on a week of drinking bovine juice on the rocks, a little human goes a long way. Hey Cor, this pop quiz on my fella leads me to believe he has your interest.” She shot Angel a wicked glance as he looked to the high heavens for help.
“Well, not only did he tackle me, but he also ruined my Donna Karen top.” Both vampires heard an angered grunt. “Thanks for that.”
Angel had the decency to look contrite. “Sorry.” The apology was closely followed by unintelligible mumbles. “Pardon?”
“I said don’t worry about it… Ahh, thank God. These three walls were starting to drive me insane.” Cordelia blew her hair of her slightly reddened face. She then smiled. “I’ll take two. The blue and the red.”
Angel didn’t particularly want to know of what she, or he rather, was buying two of. The vampiress on the other hand, outright beamed. “Excellent choice, Starshine. I’ve got mine, he’s got his, and you’ve got yours.”
“Now,” she clapped her hands once. “Let’s swing by, pick up Giles, and hit the town.”
Angel sent a telepathic warning to the watcher.
***
The dresses Cordelia bought weren’t as bad as what he thought, given the fact she was under the influence of the same vampire who was the life long companion of Angelus. She’d purchased two, and the one she’d changed into at Giles was a stunning shade of deep blue that emphasized her in every way.
The material wasn’t quite velvet, yet not quite silk, and it skimmed her figure in a way that brought attention to each and every curve she had. The neckline was a shapely V, with expert embroidery in a darker shade of blue went from the hem to the thigh. It wasn’t short, ending exactly at her knee, but there was a side split that exposed some gorgeously tanned skin that looked as silky as her hair.
Cordelia, the other one, had chosen something totally different. Her pants had to be sprayed on and the top? Well, the top had gotten her a stern lecture from Giles about proper attire for a young woman. The straps were peppered with tiny diamonds, the bodice cupped full breasts, and an inverted V left her stomach open for admiration.
For two people who were technically the same, they were so very different, but that could be down to the fact one was a vampire, and therefore doomed to be what she wanted without a care in the world. One was human and therefore doomed to be…
Angel frowned as he thought of what his Cordelia was doomed to be. He wouldn’t kid himself and lie by saying she was doomed to be respected for who she was. She was doomed to being torn apart by people who were supposed to be her friends behind her back. It made him remember the time he joined in with Buffy’s outburst, calling her Sporedelia.
He was brought out of his thoughts by the sight of the vampiress and cheerleader dance. His lips twitched. It was amusing to see just how many admirers a set of beautiful twins could attract.
It was also amusing to see how the vampiress gave glares of death to all males who got a little too close to the cheerleader. It was funnier still to watch the cheerleader slap the hand of Xander when he got too close.
Angel took a sip of his scotch, relishing in the warmth as it trickled down his throat. He smiled when Cordelia, the human one, glanced his way. His eyebrows rose high when she shot him a cheeky wink. He tipped his glass at her in reward for the large smile she gave.
Next to him, Giles sat massaging his temples with one hand, and using the other to hold his spectacles. “Good lord.”
Angel gave the man a sideways look full of understanding. “Tell me about it.”
“This…” Giles refused to call it music. “The noise is infernal.”
Again, “Tell me about it.”
“Whatever happened to the good old days?”
Angel sighed and took another drink. “Probably got scared.”
The watcher’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. “No doubt.” Changing the topic, “I take you’ve been forgiven.”
“Well, she hasn’t torn my throat out.”
“I’d take it as a good sign.”
The vampire toyed with the tumbler for a moment. “At least with anger I’d be getting something other than sarcasm and a cold shoulder.”
He made his point by looking at the vampiress, who made her point by flashing a sharp smile, sniffing, and flipping her hair with a huff.
Giles winced in sympathy. He’d been in the dog house before and it wasn’t pleasant. “Not a good sign, I see.”
Angel shrugged. “It’s Cordelia, so who knows.”
The Englishman smirked in understanding. “Quite right. Cheers.” They toasted the fact man would never know how a woman’s mind worked.
Cordelia had spent half the evening not only listening, but watching the vampiress treat Angel to remarks revolving around his inferiority against Angelus. She’d had enough of the petty behaviour. There was no hesitation as she grabbed the hand of the vampiress and dragged her over to the table.
“Look,” she said. “If you wanna get home, then you want him on your side. Besides, he could have dusted you, but he didn’t. He could have let you starve, but he didn’t. He didn’t have to come with us tonight, but he did. You at least owe him a little gratitude.”
Giles hid his smirk with his glass, while Angel closely resembled a trapped rabbit. The vampiress pouted and shifted on her feet, golden eyes peeked through dark lashes.
“Well?” The cheerleader demanded.
A small silence followed and remained until the Cordelia in question broke it with a sigh. “Alright!” She wilted under the pressure of expectant stares. “Angel, I’m sorry for being so mean. I appreciate you not dusting me and for helping get me home.”
Those expectant stares now turned to Angel.
He cleared his throat. “It’s fine. Really. No harm done.” He knew she wasn’t truly sorry, but it was nice to hear.
Identical smiles were his reward for the gracious acceptance. “Great,” his Cordelia kept smiling while the other seemed down. Figuring the vampiress had no wish to air her woes, he never asked.
“Any room at the inn?”
Both Angel and Giles stood to make room, a move which pleased one brunette and saddened the other. This time it wasn’t only Angel who noticed.
“Hey,” Cordelia nudged her dead twin.
The vampiress spoke in a way that would have melted the heart of Genghis Kahn. “I just miss my family.”
If she’d been in her Sunnydale and Angel was Angelus, then the apology would have been spanked out of her, and she would have been yanked onto his knee, not on the seat beside him.
Cordelia gave her a pat on the back. “You don’t have to wait much longer. This time tomorrow night you’ll be at your welcome back party…” She paused. “I want a welcome back party.”
The vampiress wasn’t smiling as much as she was grinning. There would be a party, but not how the cheerleader thought. It’d probably include a bed, Angelus, and lots of wild, crazy sex.
She smirked as she looked at Angel. He knew exactly what kind of party Angelus would have in mind.
So did Giles, it seemed. “I don’t suppose you’re ready to leave?” The music was no longer driving him to the brink of insanity, he was on the brink of insanity.
“I can’t leave. I’m on a date.” Cordelia reminded them all.
“Seems like Tony Manero over there is doing just fine without you.” The vampiress purposely directed her scheming gaze to the dance floor and away from Angel. It wouldn’t do to have him discover her plan before she had a chance to put it into action.
Cordelia, Angel, and Giles followed the line of sight, and all sighed. Xander appeared to be in the midst of a rain dance. Oz was inching away slowly and Willow just looked worried.
“Good point,” the cheerleader agreed with a grimace. Xander was too into whatever he was doing to bother about her. “Okay, let’s go.”
“Giles.” Rapidly blinking blue eyes went from the Englishman to Angel, and then to both brunettes. “What are you do you doing here?”
“Washing dishes to earn his keep.” The vampiress rolled her eyes. “What do you think he’s doing here.”
Buffy’s lips formed a thin tense line. “If I knew you were coming…”
“You’d what? Talk him out of it?”
Angel saw where this was going and was quick to stop anything before it started. “It’s time to go. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow.”
The vampiress golden gaze went straight to Buffy. “So we do, but you’re right. We should go. Rupert?” She held out her hand as though she expected him to kiss it.
“You never told me you were coming.” Buffy stated accusingly as she looked from Angel to her watcher, and back again.
The vampiress smirked. “Your universe doesn’t let a lot of other people in, I take it. Never mind. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have to rely on you for a life.”
Before the slayer had a chance to say anything more, Angel and the cheerleader steered the vampiress and watcher away from violence. Only Cordelia looked back to see if her boyfriend noticed she was gone.
He hadn’t.
***
The next night saw an eager vampiress who was practically dancing on a stranger’s grave. She could barely keep still for more than five seconds.
“Can’t we move this along?” Buffy asked as she tightened her hold on her stake.
“This isn’t like booking a holiday package to the Bahamas.” Cordelia snapped with an eye roll.
“Let’s just… Get on with it and get her home.” The faster she was gone, the faster she’d have Angel all to herself again.
“And here I thought you loved me.” The vampiress wiped imaginary tears from her eyes. It would have looked genuine, but the grin on her face ruined it.
“If we can begin?” Giles interrupted the argument before it escalated.
“Go for it.” Buffy shot the vampiress a smirk.
Giles started reciting the Latin while Cordelia crossed her fingers on behalf of the dead brunette. She glanced towards her twin.
“My offer still stands.”
Angel frowned. What offer?
He didn’t get an answer as the watcher finished the spell and Willow threw the final stinky herbs up in the air. They all waited with baited breath for something, anything, to happen.
Nothing did.
She could barely see through the tears in her eyes. Her hands were so numb, she hardly felt the headstone under her fingers. All she knew was the spell hadn’t worked.
“I’m not going home, am I?”
