Part 13
Angel had spent the entire car ride debating internally whether or not to invade the privacy of her thoughts. Cordelia had been quiet and withdrawn. He wanted to know what she’d been through.
Was she angry that he didn’t rescue her? Did she still want to forget she ever met any of them, him included? Was she thinking about their kiss? Did she realize he knew his answer to her question?
And does she think there is room for two in her bathtub. He was sure they could both fit comfortably. There was plenty of room on his lap if need be.
“Why are you growling?”
He cleared his throat. “Sorry.” He followed her into the house. “Are you okay?”
“For the last time, I’m fine.” She slammed the front door behind them.
“I wasn’t trying to upset you.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped. It’s been a long day.” She started up the stairs.
Angel trailed behind her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“I already told you guys everything the Mayor said.”
“What about what happened with Faith?”
“Like I said, the Mayor showed up before she could make good on her threats.”
“I heard what she said in the cafeteria. It wasn’t true.” When she didn’t respond, he grabbed her arm and forced her to face him. “It wasn’t true. I was trading for you. You were the one I was worried about.”
“Don’t say that. Hell, I was worried about Willow too. When she got loose, he sent Faith to look for her. I wouldn’t wish psycho slayer on my worst enemy. It’s not like I wanted everyone to choose my safety over Willow’s. I didn’t want there to be any choosing. Unfortunately we don’t always get what we want.” She stepped back and opened her bedroom door.
“Can we not talk about this tonight?”
“Cordy..”
“I believe you, Angel. You wouldn’t have left me there and knowing that honestly does make me feel better. Wesley smashing that pot helps too. Once we were in the office, he expressed his happiness that I returned safely and with helpful information. It was very sweet in a British sort of way.” Her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“Angel, would you like..”
~ Ring! ~
“I better get that.”
Angel stood in the doorway and watched her. He wanted her to finish her question.
“Hello…. Oh hi…. No I didn’t know….. No he didn’t…….. It wouldn’t have made much of a difference. I’m exhausted. I just wanted to go home and take a hot bath. So…… I suppose I could take the phone in there with me. Actually now that I’m home, I think I’m just going to go to bed….. No it’s not that.”
*I’m just feeling less sorry for myself.*
“It’s late. Getting some sleep sounds better than hot water and bubbles……. Thanks for the mental picture. Look I’ll talk to you later….. OK. Good night Xander.” She hung up the receiver and glanced at the doorway. Angel was gone. She briefly considered going to look for him but dismissed the thought. She went into her closet to change.
***
Her bed felt so big and empty with just her in it. Their morning tickle fest felt like such a long time ago. She reminded herself she normally went to sleep alone. She didn’t climb into bed with Angel until his nightmares woke her up.
She gave her pillow a few punches. “He didn’t even say good night. I thought he wanted..” She covered her mouth when she heard a knock. “Yes?”
“It’s me. Can I come in?”
Cordelia straightened her covers and fixed her hair. “Come in.”
“I brought you a bowl of cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream. I thought you could use some comfort food.”
“That’s…that’s…” She felt tears prick her eyes. “That’s the sweetest…” She wiped her eyes. “Thank you.”
Angel handed her the bowl. “You said it was your favorite.” He shuffled from foot to foot. “Well…. umm good night.” *I guess she decided against a bath.*
“Wait.” She shifted to one side of the bed and pulled the covers back. She looked up at him under her lashes. “Come to bed?”
“Are you sure?”
“Why wait until you’re in the middle of a nightmare? I’ll share my ice cream.”
“In that case, how can I possibly say no?” He sat down on the edge of the bed.
“You’re not going to sleep fully dressed, are you?”
“Oh umm no.” He took off his shoes and socks then stood and began to undress. He folded his shirt and laid it on the chair by her desk. He turned around to find a pair of hazel eyes watching his every move.
Cordelia was happily munching on her ice cream and enjoying the view. *Don’t mind me. Keep going.* This time her smile reached her eyes. He unbuckled his belt, undid his pants and let them fall to the floor. He neatly folded them before adding them to the pile.
The sight of Angel clad only in a pair of boxers kept her mesmerized. She held her breath as he approached the bed. Her mind completely shut down when he slid under the covers. She mutely held out a spoonful of ice cream.
He opened his mouth and let her feed him. His eyes locked with hers. He was surprised by the lack of thoughts. “Are you mad at me?”
Her gaze dropped to his mouth. She watched his lips form words. His soft kissable lips curled in the most adorable way.
“Cordy?”
“Hmm?”
“I asked if you’re mad at me.”
Her gaze dropped lower to his chest. She watched it rise and fall so his kissable lips could form words. His firm smooth chest made her ache to run her fingers over it. “Why would I be mad at you?”
Her hungry look made him grateful he couldn’t blush. “I didn’t tell you Xander wanted to spend time alone with you.” He stared at his hands.
She felt a slight twinge of guilt at the sound of Xander’s name. The feeling was nothing compared to before. Her bubble of denial regarding her boyfriend had taken quite a beating but there was still a part of her that was afraid to let go. Being captured had reminded her she wasn’t a full fledged member of the Scooby gang.
The small foothold she had was because she was Xander’s girlfriend, but being curled up in her bed with Angel and a bowl of ice cream he’d brought her, none of that mattered. She was content to stay exactly where she was. She didn’t need any of them to be happy.
“It doesn’t matter. I still would’ve come home.” She set the bowl on her nightstand. She tried to stifle a yawn and failed. “I’m too tired to pretend like he isn’t a complete jerk and…” Her hand urged him to lie back. She rested her head on his shoulder. “And I’m too tired to pretend like I’m not a horrible girlfriend.”
His arms pulled her flush against him. “I couldn’t stand the thought of you going anywhere with that… You’re in good company though. I’m not exactly the best boyfriend either. In fact, I’ve come to a decision. Cordelia, I’ve never known anyone like you. You’re…” His words drifted off as the sound of her gentle snoring registered.
He reached over and switched the bedside lamp off. He kissed her forehead before letting his eyes close. He had woken up to the sense of peace her presence afforded but this was the first time he felt it while seeking sleep.
The warmth of her body, her scent in the air, the soft feel of her sheets and the way she draped an arm and a leg over him gave Angel a whole new level of peace. Cordelia had become his refuge. She had invaded his mind, his soul and especially his heart. He had to agree with what she told the Mayor.
A person in love tended to be at least a little selfish. He didn’t deserve her and he couldn’t be what she needed but he intended to hold onto her, fight for her if necessary. He made his decision. Now he just needed her to be awake to hear it.
***
Cordelia felt strong hands searching, touching, stroking and exploring her body. Her baby-T and boxers were unwelcome barriers. She needed to feel those hands on bare skin. “Angel please.”
The material was quickly discarded. The hands felt cool against her skin but they left fire in their wake. Her hands began their own exploration. His boxers soon joined her clothing on the floor. Her fingertips traced invisible patterns on his back and chest.
Her moan ripped through the air as his lips, teeth and tongue joined the skillful hands. “Angel,” was the only word her brain could think of. Her hips bucked at the sensation of insistent fingers stroking her silken folds, spreading the moisture already pooled there. “Angel.” She clutched his shoulders as a single digit pushed its way inside. “Angel.”
Soulful brown eyes watched her, penetrating her very being, seeing everything. She groaned at the addition of another finger. Her hips rose to meet each pleasurable stroke. “Angel,” she choked out when his thumb began tormenting the pulsing bundle of nerves.
Her growing need kick started her higher functions. “Angel please. I need you inside me.” Her fingertips traced the length of his erection before taking him in a firm grip. “Please. Make love to me.” Her free hand grabbed his neck, urging him to blanket her trembling body. “Angel please.” She led him to her entrance.
In one quick movement his fingers disappeared and he thrust inside her. She gasped. He filled her so completely. Her legs and hands held him in place. It had been so long and it hadn’t been like this. After a moment, her body began to ache with need. She loosened her tight grip on him and he began to gently move within her. “Angel.”
His soft kissable lips smiled at her. Her head rose off her pillow to capture them. Her teeth nibbled on his lower lip before allowing her tongue to battle his. He swallowed her moans.
His hands cupped her breasts. He abandoned her mouth so he could capture a nipple. She mewled as he alternated between teasing the tip with his tongue and gently suckling at it. She threaded her fingers through his hair and pressed him to her flesh.
His thrusts grew harder as he moved to lavish the other breast with the same treatment. Her hips rose to meet each hard thrust. Every cell in her body came alive and sparked with electricity. Her nails left red trails on his back. “Oh god Angel! So close. Please. So good. I need…I need… Angel please.”
Her muscles tensed on the precipice of something she could barely name. It hadn’t been like this. She desperately needed…something.
His hand snaked its way between their tight embrace. She felt an almost frightening surge of pleasure when his thumb pressed against her clitoris. “Yes!” She hissed. An explosion of light dazzled her vision. His pace became frantic. She no longer knew where he ended and she began. Instead of overwhelming her, she felt exhilarated. She felt liberated. “Angel don’t stop!”
She missed the feel of his lips. She pulled him to her and drank deep. Her tongue explored the cavern of his mouth. Plundering its new home and staking claim. She vowed never to deny herself the pleasure of kissing him. He was hers. The realization felt so right. Angel was hers.
Her body was inundated with wave after wave of ecstasy. “Angel!” Her muscles clenched and pulsated with pure bliss. She felt him follow her in sweet release as her body floated in a sea of unadulterated sensations.
She looked up into his beautiful eyes. “I love you, Angel.”
Angel stroked her cheek. He panted for breath his body didn’t require but his soul needed. He watched her eyes blink open. He saw her confusion turn to panic.
She was still dressed. It had been a dream. It had all been a dream. It had been a soul-shaking, mind-blowing dream. She felt Angel’s body pressed along her side. She felt the evidence of his arousal hard against her hip. She felt his gaze on her. He’d been watching her sleep.
The mind reading object of her affections had been watching her as she dreamed about making love to him, as she declared…. She felt his chest vibrating in a soft purr.
*oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god*
The alluring scent of her arousal that had his dead lungs panting for air and his body rock hard was rapidly being replaced by the scent of her fear. “Cordy, I..”
Cordelia shoved him off her and leaped out of bed. “Listening to a person’s dream is wrong.” She paced the floor by her bed. “It’s a total invasion of privacy.” She threw her hands in the air, gesturing wildly.
“You can’t control your dreams and they don’t mean anything. Just last week I dreamed I worked at Doublemeat Palace flipping burgers. I won’t even eat there let alone work there. And I’ve heard that sex in a dream can mean something totally different, like…. something non-sex related. And the things we say….they’re not always grounded in reality. I once told a dream Harmony that I thought she was the smartest person I know. Which is as insane as it is untrue. Just because I said….what I said and we were…doing what we were doing doesn’t mean….” She clutched her stomach.
“I think I’m going to hyperventilate while dying of embarrassment.” She sank to the floor and hugged her knees. “Am I still dreaming?” Strong arms enveloped her.
“I’ve got you. Just breathe.”
Her mind was flooded with images of his hands touching her, him filling her, their bodies moving together in a dance as old as time, and his eyes not just looking but seeing her. Her breathing grew heavy and the heat in her belly sparked. She rubbed her forehead on his neck.
Angel intended only to calm her panic but as her fear dissipated from the air and was replaced by her arousal, his raw need for her returned with a vengeance. He had refused his body’s wants when it had been her unconscious mind causing the scent. She was awake now. He nudged her with his cheek, urging her head to rise.
She lifted her chin. Before she could utter a word, his lips covered hers. The intensity of the kiss exceeded the fire her imagination created. She threaded her fingers in his hair. His hunger overwhelmed her. She happily allowed him to push her onto her back.
His hips settled between her thighs. The feel of her heat teasing him through the thin barriers elicited a growl of appreciation.
Against her wishes, her head turned so she could gasp for air. He trailed kisses along her jaw line.
~ Ring! ~
This time her groan wasn’t one of pleasure. “No,” she whined.
“Ignore it.” He seized her lips and willed the interruption away.
~ Ring! ~
His hand slid up from its place on her hip and ascended the length of her body. It slipped beneath her shirt to cup bare flesh.
~ Ring! ~
She wanted the material separating their bodies gone. She tried to use her feet to divest him of his boxers but their bodies refused to give the needed space for such an endeavor.
~ Ring! ~
One hand continued to worship the world’s most perfect breasts while the other held her hips in place as he moved against them. It was making clothing removal difficult.
~ Ring! ~
“Argh! Go away!”
His mouth covered hers before she could suggest answering the hateful ringing sound. He shifted, allowing his hands to switch. He didn’t want her other perfect breast to feel neglected.
~ Ring! ~
“Dammit! Don’t you have an answering machine?”
She panted. “Yes. They must have hung up before it kicked in and called right back. Now shut up and kiss me.”
~ Ring! ~
She banged her head on the floor. “They’re not going away, are they? Whoever is on the other end of that line needs to die a slow painful death.”
Angel reluctantly rolled off her.
She crawled over to her nightstand and grabbed the phone. “Hello…. Well excuse me for taking so long. It is…wow is that really the time……… You did?………. He is? There’s no rush…….. Oh……………That doesn’t sound like Giles……… I haven’t showered or anything……… But………… No. It’s not that. It is good news……….. All of you?………… OK…… No I’m sure it’ll be fun………….. OK. I’ll see you when you get here. Bye Xander.” She hung up the receiver and glanced over at Angel. He was sprawled across her floor with an arm draped over his face.
“What did he want?”
“He called to tell us some good news.”
“Uh huh”
“It seems Buffy and Xander decided to do some demon hunting last night. They managed to find the demon that got away. Giles and Wesley are making your cure as we speak. Buffy, Xander, Willow and Oz will be here in about an hour.”
“It takes all of them to deliver a potion?”
“What can I say? The good news just keeps on coming. Giles gave us the day off. After what happened last night, he decided to give us a break. He and Wesley are going to study the pages Willow stole. I think they just wanted all of us out of their way. Anyway since you can’t go out, they decided to spend the day hanging out here. Isn’t that great?” She crawled over to him and rested her head on his chest.
“Maybe it’s for the best.”
“What?” She tried to sit up but he pulled her back into his arms.
“I mean it will give us an opportunity to talk to them. Buffy deserves to be told the truth before you and me..”
“Are you insane?”
“What?”
“She’d kill me and then she’d hold you in place while Xander stakes you. Besides you can’t break up with her during a Scooby get together. It’s just not done. It needs to be private and…oh god. That’s not where you were going, was it? It’s over now, isn’t it? Plague cured. You’re going to confess about…and then beg her forgiveness. I’m such an idiot! Faith may be a psycho but she totally called this one.”
She wriggled free and stood. “I should get dressed. Maybe I can still salvage some of my self respect.” Against her better judgment, she risked a glance at the source of her heartbreak. Angry brown eyes were glaring at her.
“Is that really what you think? You think I’ve been using you until Buffy was ready to be around me again? You think you mean so little to me? You think I could just walk away after everything that’s happened between us? That is what you think of me?”
A tear streamed down her face unchecked. *Nobody chooses me over Buffy* “I…I…”
Angel stood before her. His finger raised her chin.
“Take a good look, Cordelia. Someone just did.”