999 Evil Urges.

Title: 999 Evil Urges
Author: DamnSkippy
Rating: R, Language and Sexual Situation N-17
Category: Humor and Light Smut
Content: C/A
Summary: After the first night together consummating their fuck buddy arrangement, Angel and Cordelia find it difficult to have a normal training session
Spoilers: Anywhere, but please let me know, k?
Disclaimer: Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
Notes: For Angel his demon thoughts are surrounded by **asterisks**, while the soul’s thoughts are italicized. Everyone else’s thoughts are italicized.A/N: I was going through my fic files and found this scene that I’d deleted from one of the early chapters because it just wouldn’t work. I’ve expanded it a bit to make it more of a standalone ficlet, but it’s still a companion piece to F*** Buddies. So if you haven’t read it, you might be a bit confused. Or not.
Feedback: Still want it.

“Hey! Watch the pointy end there, buster.” The tip of Angel’s dagger nipped dangerously close to her bare midriff.

“Oops. Guess I misjudged how long it was.” He pulled back his weapon and felt her exposed skin for any cuts. “Did I hurt you?”

The tender heated membrane contracted at his cool touch. Air was vacuumed between clinched teeth involuntarily.

“No, I don’t think so. Although those cold hands might give me a heart attack.” She smirked.

He didn’t. He also didn’t remove his hand. Fingers traced a bead of sweat down her center until it splashed into her navel. Touching her like this sent him back to the last time he’d felt her sweat slicked skin. It had only been fifteen hours ago, but it seemed like a lifetime. Memories of thrashing bodies, uninhibited grunts and growls, eyes lost in desire flooded him because of this simple contact.

Cordy’s initial shudder calmed into a wave of pleasure as his hand took on her heat and his whispered touching continued. His face was glued to his fingers’ movements, his eyes unfocused and far away. She imagined he was reliving a more intimate moment from last night which led her to the same thoughts. Closing her eyes and leaning her head back, she allowed herself to drift with him to visions of their impassioned coupling.

It hit him like a freight train. Her arousal. His erection. The basement. Training. Sweaty. Alone.

**Mmmm. She wants it. Show her what our sword can do. Split her open with it.**


Jerking his hand away, he shook his head and took a few cleansing breaths. “Um, sorry.” He backed away, turning, hoping she wouldn’t notice his obvious arousal.

“Sorry for what?” She was both disappointed and glad he left. Her willpower had waned quickly, and she was sure she wouldn’t have stopped him if he’d continued. But, part of her screamed to be saved from making that mistake.

“For…touching you like that. For…you know.” Still unable to face her, he fiddled with a new sword he’d chosen after he’d placed the dagger in its sheath.

“For getting excited? C’mon. I know you can sense I was excited, too. So no use going all broody over your evil urges. We’re both evil. Okay?”

**She doesn’t know the half of it.**

And she’s not going to.

“Hey.” When he didn’t respond, she approached him and touched his shoulder. Pressing him to turn around, he did so reluctantly, but his gaze never left the sword in his hand.

“Listen,” she began, trying to get him to look at her. “It’s natural that after last night, our old casual touching might seem…well…a lot less casual and more intimate. At least for now. But, I’m sure once we’ve done this about a thousand times, you’ll be able to touch my sweaty, stinky body and cringe just like old times.”

He laughed softly and finally looked at her glorious, ear-to-ear smile. “As long as you’re sure it will only take a thousand times. I don’t know if I can stand much more than that.”

“Yup, one thousand exactly. So, once a night, every night for the next…almost three years…and we should actually be comfortable around each other again.”

“There is a way to speed up the process. Three times a night means we could be back to normal in a year.” Her playfulness on the subject calmed him, and he felt completely at ease pushing a strand of her hair out of her eyes and behind her ear.

“Hmmm. Are you sure you’re vampire enough for that?” Teasingly biting her lip, she couldn’t believe she was actually trying to seduce him in the basement! Desperate much, Cor? Sheesh, turn off the hormone gusher and remember…fuck buddies only!

**How can you not grab the bitch and show her just how long a real man can go?**

Because I am not an animal.

**Bullshit, Elephant Man. We’re all animals. Some of us just embrace it more than others.**

Angel tried to ignore the beast inside him and the female predator in front of him. Both were rubbing raw nerves that he thought best should not be stimulated at the moment. Walking to the other side of her, he motioned to her to join him in the training once again.

Once they started their fight ballet, he continued. “Trust me, Cordy. I’m only thinking of you. Three would only be a warm-up for me, but your human body couldn’t handle more than that.”

There it was again. That arrogant, vamp ego. Suddenly, she didn’t feel like sword play. It was time to up the ante. Stopping in mid swing, she faced him squarely with one hand on her hip and the other waving a sharp sword in his face like the extension of one of her fingers.

“Didn’t you learn from the last challenge you posed that you might as well be waving a red cape at a bull? Fine. You think you can out fuck me? You’re on.”

**Nice evil manipulating! Couldn’t have done better myself. I hope you’re heavily vested in K-Y Jelly stock.**

“No, we’re not on. I was just joking. There will be no competition to see who can out-fuck whom.” Damn, when will I learn just to keep my mouth shut around this woman?

**About the same time Hell takes a holiday in Aspen.**

“Are you chicken?” Reasserting her challenge with an arched brown and smug grin.

Not wanting to let this childish dare go any further, he swallowed his demonic pride and conceded defeat. “Yes, Cordy. I’m chicken. See? I’m growing white feathers as we speak. Now can we drop it?”

“Fine. Just as long as you realize I could so screw you under a table.” The sword jabbed between his eyes for emphasis and she didn’t even flinch at the obvious double entendre.

Angel bowed in acquiescence and Cordy retreated to the beginning position of the battle sequence.

**And over a table, and on a chair, and inside an igloo…**

Not going there.

**Of course, you’re not, chicken man. Because, you’re not an animal. You’re fowl.**

Once again they moved slowly, but smoothly through their fight choreography, both silently concentrating on the imagined foe.

What are you trying to do, Cor? Are you ever going to learn to control yourself? One more minute and you would have challenged him to a goddamn sex marathon. First one to pass out or lose a limb or organ loses. Just stick to the fuck buddy program, and you’ll be fine. You only have to last a week and then…and then…then what? Dammit. Why are we doing this again? Oh, right. Because I’m horny and no one wants to date a drooling, epileptic demon-spawn magnet with a collection of weapons from the Inquisition!

“I give, I give!”

Angel’s unnaturally high-pitched squeak brought her eyes out of her mind’s argument with itself to stare directly into a pair of surprised brown ones. Her hand was clutching his throat while her sword was pressing against his jewels ready to castrate with one flick of her wrist.

“You win, okay? You’re the sex champion. Now can I please keep the package in tact? We might need it later.” Angel knew he could easily push her away before she could do any damage, but he was getting turned on by her aggressiveness and the threat of pain pressing between his thighs.

Cordy blinked not fully comprehending how she’d managed to get Angel disarmed and in this position. It only took her a few seconds to realize what he’d just said and when she looked in his eyes again the shock was gone replaced by a heat she was now blissfully familiar with. Without a thought for what she was doing, she pressed the sword a little further up causing Angel’s lips to part. She muffled his gasp by covering his lips with hers and plunging her tongue deep into his cool, willing mouth.

Angel was surprised but in no way disappointed to have Cordy devouring him. He moaned appreciatively when her tongue taunted his to follow it wherever it would lead. When he slipped between her lips, she mewed in pleasure and her body relaxed. Her sword slid down his thigh, her hand loosened its grip on his throat to curl around his neck and she fell into him, her breasts flattening against his solid chest.

Whatever doubts he’d had earlier about touching her, tasting her, wanting her like this outside of their “arrangement” disappeared the moment her lips touched his.

The feel of her body heat and scent of her desire wasn’t enough though. He gripped her arms and yanked her even closer. Pulling his mouth from hers, he used his tongue and lips to stroke and nudge at hers begging her to open even wider. Her strong lips wrapped around the snaking muscle sucking him back in and her blunt teeth bit him signaling him to just do it.

He growled at the slight pain and forcefully thrust into her with his tongue and his entire body. Arms surrounded her and held her tightly as his arousal came in contact with the back of her sword hand. He heard the clang of the metal hitting concrete and felt her hand turn and cup him. Her matching groan resounded in the dusty, humid filled room as one of his knees parted her legs and his thigh pressed against her mound.

“Yo, Angel! You down here?”

The rich timbre of Gunn’s bellow sent shivers up both tingling spines. Tongues, lips and then bodies released instantly and in that order. Feet shuffled, hands swiped at drooling lips, clothes were shifted and arms folded over erect nipples before Gunn’s bald scalp came into view.

**Shit, fuck, damn! See what happens when you have friends? No pussy, that’s what happens!**

“Uh, yeah, Gunn. Right here,” Angel managed to get out through his almost numb lips.

Gunn saw Angel and then spotted Cordy’s back as she bent to pick up her sword. “Hey, girl. Didn’t know you were here. Just thought I’d go a few rounds with the ultimate warrior here. Not that he can teach me anything I don’t already know.”

“Oh, okay. No problem. We just finished. Right, Angel?” Cordy fumbled putting her sword back in the cabinet causing what sounded to her ears like a full orchestra of cymbals crashing.

“Yup. All done. Cordy and I are completely done. Nothing more to do. Nope.”

Angel realized during his nervous rambling that his weapon was currently under his right heel and hoped Gunn wouldn’t notice nor ask how it got there. Almost faster than the human eye could see, he stomped on the handle sending it flying up and into his hand.

Cordy walked past him and whispered an endearing “dork” and then winked out of sight and sound of Gunn who was busy studying the weapons cabinet for the perfect foil. Picking up her towel and wrapping it around her neck, she started up the stairs, Angel’s eyes never leaving the swaying, firm globes of her feminine hips.

Before she’d made it to the third step, Angel’s voice sent another wave of shivers over her drenched skin.

“Cordy.” She paused, looked and he grinned. “Only nine hundred ninety nine more to go.”

Without missing a beat, she quirked her eyebrow up and said, “You think? I was thinking of revising that estimate. It might take more practice than I thought.” Letting her mouth slide into her widest smile, she bowed her head suddenly shy and resumed her exit up the stairs.

**I repeat. Dead friends mean cock in that shit now and without further interruption.**

“So we fightin’ or what?” Gunn asked unaware of just how ill-timed that particular question was.

I will not kill my friend, I will not kill my friend, I will not kill my friend…

**Allow me.**

Angel couldn’t help the wicked grin he sported as he lifted his sword to strike the first blow.



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