Part 12
“Unless you’re wearing the leather pants… Wesley? Taking a page out of Angelcakes’ book, are we?”
“I don’t know what you mean. May I come in?”
Lorne stepped aside and let Wesley enter. “What’s on your mind, muffin?” He tightened the belt on his silk robe. “Or you could just hum a tune and save us some time.”
“Is this a bad time?” He glanced down at Lorne’s state of undress. “Am I interrupting something?”
“I was having a wonderful dream about… It doesn’t matter. Your aura is practically shooting off sparks. What’s got you so riled? I’m getting a hazy sense of anger and dread.”
Wesley sat down at the bar. “I’m concerned about… What do you know about the effects of this bond?”
“Does it matter? I thought they were annulling the marriage.”
“They are but in the meantime I’m a little unsure how to deal with their confused emotions.”
“I don’t follow. It really would help if you hummed a few bars.”
“I think Angel is under the misapprehension he’s in love with Cordelia.”
“Misapprehension? What makes you think that?”
“The bond is tricking his emotions. The love isn’t real, at least not a romantic love. I fear he will act on these false feelings and bind Cordelia to him forever.”
“I’m sure that would be a horrible fate for Cordelicious. Whatever will she do being married to a tall, gorgeous—”
“This isn’t a laughing matter Lorne.”
“I’m not trying to be difficult, sugar. What makes you think Angel’s feelings have anything to do with their marriage ceremony?”
“This so-called marriage is obviously affecting both of them. It’s obviously a self-fulfilling ritual. Angel seems to be having more trouble dealing with what he knows to be real and what’s false due to his demon.”
“Wow. Would you like a drink? Taking a leap like that must be exhausting.”
“Lorne, pre-existing effects are a fact. Just the other night Cordelia and Brian attempted to… become more familiar with one another. Both she and Angel became violently ill.”
“Yikes. Where should I send the flowers?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“For Brian, should I send the flowers to the hospital or the funeral home?”
“Neither. She was alone at hotel when we returned from a rather difficult battle.”
“Ouch. I imagine that was a lot of fun. What with your resident vampire out of commission.”
“Quite. Cordelia was rather upset when she learned we were mid-battle at the time. She has been pampering Gunn and me to relieve her guilt.”
“And her husband?”
Wesley narrowed his eyes as the image of Cordelia and Angel locked in each other’s arms flashed in his mind. “I believe they had an argument. Cordelia didn’t explain the details but when Angel didn’t return last night, she feared it was due to their disagreement.”
“So the two lovebirds have to start all over again?”
***
Angel took a deep breath inhaling the sweet scent that was uniquely Cordy. He knew he should feel some guilt at the harsh tone he used with Wesley but he couldn’t. He had his own inner voice reminding him he didn’t deserve Cordelia. He didn’t need Wesley to add to it. It didn’t matter. He was done feeling guilty about loving her. He didn’t ask to get married to Cordelia, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t enjoy it. What was so wrong about staying married?
He tightened his arms pulling her closer. He intended to do anything he had to do to make her happy except give her an annulment. Gently careful not to disturb her, he brushed a kiss across her forehead and closed his eyes. Having to start their forty nights over again would give him plenty of time to convince her they should remain married.
***
Lorne studied the tense man sitting across from him. “Are you sure I can’t interest you in a little tune? How about a nice drink?” he held up a bottle of tequila, “just a little something to loosen the tongue.” A heavy sigh rushed out at Wesley’s glare. “You have to give me something to work with, muffin. I’m sensing you’re not on the Cordy and Angel love train. Care to explain why?”
Wesley hesitated for a moment before answering. “He’s not the right man for her.”
“Ooo-kay. Could you expand upon that? I’m still a little fuzzy. Is this jealousy?”
He rolled his eyes. “No. Cordelia is a beautiful woman, but she and I moved on from romantic interest quite some time ago. I’m not trying to keep her for myself. I’m only trying to protect her from being hurt. Again.”
“Love is a risk.”
“Yes well with Angel it seems to be simply a matter of time.”
“That’s a little harsh.”
“Is it?”
“He’s trying. He went through a rough patch… and acted like a complete ass. I thought you were the driving force behind giving him a chance.”
“I was. I am but in purely professional capacity.”
“I thought you were his friend.”
Wesley flinched slightly. “I…” A rush of air escaped leaving him feeling tired and older than his years. “There was a night not so long ago, one I’ll never forget.” He rubbed his eyes harshly as if he could erase the memory with the stroke of his fingers. “Gunn and I…” He took a deep breath. “I guess I should start with the prior night. Actually it starts a lot sooner than that but…” He shook off his thoughts. “Cordelia had a vision. It hadn’t been her first since Angel fired us but then I guess you remember her first.” Lorne nodded. “It was a rather difficult battle. We managed to kill the demons… but we very nearly died. Perhaps that’s a bit of an exaggeration considering we had few wounds to show for it. If Gunn hadn’t deflected when he did or had I not recovered my weapon in time… the battle would have ended very differently. At the time I was rather proud of us. I must admit when we first arrived on the scene there was a part of me that simply wanted to grab the intended victim and just run for our lives. Two human men weren’t much a match against a demon that size and definitely not when there were three of them. Neither Gunn nor I told Cordelia how close we’d come. It was easily avoided since we only had abrasions and cuts but I think she knew. I hadn’t thought much about her expression while she described her vision but in retrospect… her face looked haunted. I’ll never forget the relief in her eyes when we walked into her apartment.” Wesley studied his fingers as if they held the answers he sought. His next words came out in almost a whisper. “There was surprise in her eyes as well.”
Lorne shuddered when pain-filled blue eyes rose and seared right through him.
“She didn’t say much. Cordelia took care of our wounds and sent us home to rest. The next night,” he squeezed his eyes shut for a brief moment. “The next night Gunn and I were working on a case. It was nothing dangerous but before we called it a night we decided to stop by Cordelia’s apartment. We wanted to let her see we were both safe. We didn’t want her to worry. The door opened the moment we approached. It was rather strange. Dennis is rather indifferent towards Gunn and just plain antagonistic towards me. He usually doesn’t answer the door without Cordelia asking him to first.”
“What happened?”
“I’m not entirely sure.” A humorless laugh escaped his lips. “We entered as quietly as possible in case there was something amiss.” Haunted blue eyes connected with red. “Do you know I can count the number of times I’ve seen Cordelia cry on one hand? As many things as that girl has had to endure, she rarely cries. Her eyes will get misty from time to time but she doesn’t cry often and she especially doesn’t do it in front of others.” His gaze drifted to his untouched glass. “We had only taken a few steps into her apartment when we heard her. The sound… She sounded… It was gut-wrenching. I found tears pricking my eyes and I had no idea what had upset her.”
“What upset her?”
“I don’t know. We were both frozen in place. Neither Gunn nor I knew what to do but one of us must have made a sound. She looked up. It took a moment for her red-rimmed eyes to see us. One word escaped her lips. It was filled with hope and raw need.” Wesley slammed his shot of whatever Lorne had poured in one gulp.
When he didn’t continue, Lorne nearly smacked him upside his head. “What!”
Wesley refilled his glass before continuing. “She said Angel.” The next shot disappeared as quickly as the first. “I watched her eyes. Cordelia has the most beautiful eyes. They’re so expressive. I’ve always loved her eyes.” He poured another shot. The glass never touched the bar until it was empty again. “I watched the sparkle in her eyes die that night.”
***
Cordelia reluctantly lifted her head off Angel’s shoulder. The loss of his cool taut flesh against her cheek nearly made her groan in protest. She hadn’t wanted to return to consciousness. She once again enjoyed sleeping in his arms but this time she couldn’t brush it off as a necessary evil.
The sun had already risen. There was no reason they had to share a bed. They chose to sleep in each other’s arms. She chose to sleep in Angel’s arms.
His expression seemed serene, almost child-like. The urge to trace the gentle smile gracing his lips with her fingertips, lips she knew to be soft yet firm when they met hers, forced her to flee their shared bed. This wasn’t real she reminded herself. It was an illusion.
There were no tender feelings beyond friendship. She had a boyfriend and he had a blonde fixation. Cordelia grabbed some fresh clothes and disappeared into the bathroom without looking back at the bed.
***
“She brushed her tears away and said she’d been watching an old black and white movie with Dennis that made her cry. She didn’t acknowledge that she said Angel’s name, a name she normally refused to mention. We told her about our evening and she thanked us for stopping by. Gunn and I stuttered excuses about being tired and asked to stay. She hesitated for a moment but agreed. She told Dennis to get us some blankets and pillows before excusing herself for bed. We listened to her cry all night. I knocked on the door at one point. She answered it with a false smile on her face and said nothing was wrong. I returned to the couch and she began crying again but now the sound was muffled. I don’t think Gunn or I will ever forget that night and we have no idea what truly happened. I doubt we ever will.”
“Cordelia has been through a lot but she’s a survivor.”
“Do you think I don’t know that, Lorne? When I first began to work for Angel, I was on the outside looking in. Angel and Cordelia seemed to belong to a club I couldn’t name let alone join.” The remembrance brought a smile to his lips. “I watched an 18 year old girl stand up for and to a 250 year old vampire. She was so full of life she practically vibrated. Things that would have broken most people her age, Cordelia would laugh off. After that bastard Wilson Christopher used her so abominably, I saw the light in her eyes flicker but it came back stronger than before. I was in awe of her. That was when I suddenly found myself a member of the club. Perhaps not a full member but the bond between Cordelia and Angel didn’t… I never thought anything or anyone would come between them. The expression on Angel’s face while I read the words to break Vocah’s curse is as unforgettable as the expression on Cordelia face before and after the words were spoken. They only had eyes for each other for a moment.”
“I can believe that.”
Wesley stiffened. “We were closer than ever for a time. I translated the scroll.”
“I remember the fall.”
“Yes. We were wrong to keep score. We lost sight of the mission. We focused solely on Angel’s reward.”
“It was a big fall for Angel.”
“I realize that!” Wesley stood so abruptly his stool fell back crashing to the floor. “I realize Angel was going through a difficult time but he had no right to…” He picked up his stool tiredly and sat down again. “I watched what Angel pulling away did to Cordelia. She is one of the strongest, most courageous persons I know, but she was terrified about losing him. She buried her fear in anger.”
“You don’t need to tell me. I listened to brown eyes sing right after the big firing.”
“A lot of her fire died that day.”
“Have you ever considered that since Angel was the one to snuff out the flame he might be the one to reignite it? It may even burn brighter. He may make her happy.”
“As Cordelia would say ‘Pfft’. You do realize that in the hundred years since Angel was first cursed he hasn’t managed to fight the good fight for two consecutive years? He’s either losing his soul or giving up because it’s just too hard. It’s not if he’ll hurt her that concerns me. It’s when.”
“Muffin, you sound awfully bitter. What made you decide to hire the big lug if you don’t believe in him?”
“Because the fight needs him. Gunn and I may be trained fighters but we cannot equal his prowess. I thought welcoming him back was the right thing to do. We needed his help.”
“I thought you were his friend.”
“I am.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “This isn’t easy for me. I know that he has to walk a fine line. I have always wished to support him. The way he so callously tossed us aside hurt me terribly as well. I’ve been fired before.” Wesley poured another shot.
“I can easily forgive him for hurting my feelings. I can easily forgive him for straying from that fine line but hurting Cordelia is another story. She is my family, a concept I don’t think I truly understood until she claimed me as her family.”
“I thought Angel was family too.”
“He was but he decided that wasn’t important to him.”
Lorne finally poured himself a drink. “He knows he was wrong and he regrets that decision. Redemption is about second chances and occasionally third and fourth. Are you really giving up on him?”
“I’ll be more than willing to give him as many chances as he needs as long as he leaves Cordelia’s heart intact. I watched her spark die. I won’t do it again.”
“Maybe he can bring it back.”
“It is already back.” A wistful smile crossed his features. “When I woke up in the hospital after I’d been shot, I watched the light spark back to life. Perhaps it doesn’t burn as bright but given time it has grown stronger.”
“I know you love her, Wesley, but I hope you remember that whatever happens, it is her choice.”
“Her judgment is being clouded by magic. It isn’t her choice to—”
“It is her.” Lorne held Wesley’s gaze. “The bond will not now nor will it ever create false feelings. The fidelity clause kicks in right away and the countdown starts but nothing else. After the bond is completed, the connection will truly be profound but it will not be artificial. If there is no love now, there will be no love then. That’s not to say they couldn’t grow to love one another though.”
“It isn’t… it isn’t magic?”
“No.”
“So Angel’s feelings are genuine?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I need to get back to the hotel. Gunn and I must—”
“Cordelia’s feelings are genuine too. If you truly love her as your family, then you will support her no matter what.”
“But..”
“What about Cordelia makes you think she’ll allow you to make her decisions for her?”
Wesley grimaced at the mental image the question created. He ripped the lid off the bottle and drank directly from it. “I don’t really have a choice here, do I?”
“You can choose to be her friend. You can choose to be Angel’s friend. You can choose not to get your ass kicked by a luscious brunette and I don’t mean the undead one.”
“I only want to protect her. Gunn and I were hurt but… I spent my youth being trained that emotions were a liability. I was taught that a demon should never be trusted.” He smiled apologetically at Lorne.
“Most of my inner walls came down with Angel but not all. Gunn, as much as he came to respect Angel, was still wary about working with a vampire, even one with a soul. Cordelia allowed Angel in completely. As close as she and I have become, even I could never claim that level of friendship with her. I thought Angel coming back would be okay. I thought she would maintain a certain amount of distance. I never expected Angel to suddenly decide he was in love with her.”
“What’s not to love? And what makes you think this was sudden?”
“Don’t!” Confused blue eyes turned to cold steel. “If you tell me he loved her when he tossed her aside like she was nothing, I will stake him with absolutely no remorse.”
Lorne gulped.
“Not everything is love at first sight. What if he didn’t know what he had until he thought he lost it?”
“If he has finally come to realize what he lost and just how much Cordelia truly means to him, I suppose I can be understanding. He wouldn’t be the first man to not know what he had until he lost it.”
“Well said. You had me scared for a moment. I thought I was going to muss my robe. This is silk.”
“I can understand. That doesn’t mean I can accept it.”
“But..”
“However Angel feels, I won’t stand idly by and watch him hurt Cordelia.”
“But..”
“But I will support Cordelia’s decision. It is her life. If she wishes to pursue a relationship with Angel, then I will be there for her.”
“That’s something. Cheers.” Lorne snatched the bottle from Wesley’s hand and took a deep gulp.
“That doesn’t mean I won’t encourage her to pursue her relationship with Brian. He’s a stable normal guy who would be very good to her.”
***
Cordelia was glad Angel was still asleep when she left the bathroom. His small smile had been replaced with a frown as he clutched her pillow. She wondered if he missed holding her or if he was simply having a bad dream. She shook off the strange thought. It was lunchtime and she hadn’t even gone downstairs yet.
As she descended the stairs, she heard music coming from the office. The type of music told her it was Gunn and volume told her Wesley wasn’t in the hotel. She couldn’t help smiling. The last time she caught Gunn listening to music he was dancing while holding one of her magazines. He tossed it away before she could see which actress, singer or model he was looking at.
“Hello?”
Cordelia nearly tripped down the stairs. She hadn’t heard the door open. “Can I help you?”
The woman barely spared Cordelia a glace as her eyes searched the lobby. “I was looking for someone.”
“Who? This is Angel Investigations. We—”
“I know. I was looking for Angel. Is he here?”
Cordelia studied the woman. She had long blonde hair, a deep tan, and big blue eyes. She was fairly pretty if you liked the tall, slender, super model type. “He’s upstairs. I’m afraid he won’t be down for awhile. Can someone else help you?”
“Angel is already working on my case. I wanted to thank him for last night. I don’t know what I would’ve done without him.”
“Angel was with you? You’re the reason he didn’t come home?” She intended to yell but her words came out more like a gasp.
“I needed help. Angel stayed with me all night to keep me safe. He was amazing.”
“I’m sure he was.” Cordelia brushed past the cheap blonde and started walking towards her desk. She had only taken a few steps when she spun around. “I’ll tell him you stopped by. You can give me your check or you can just drop it in the mail. Bye.” Feel free to let the door hit you on your ass on the way out, she silently added.
“My case isn’t over yet. That’s another reason I’m here. I need to ask him what time I should expect him tonight. I knew I should have waited until later to stop by. I mean neither of us got any sleep last night. Well I slept for a few minutes. I felt so safe with my own personal angel to watch over me while I slept.”
Cordelia gritted her teeth and reminded herself she would know if anything had happened between this slut and Angel. “I’m sure Gunn and Wesley will be able to help you tonight. We’re a team around here.”
“Oh that’s okay. I’d rather have Angel.”
*That’s it! This bitch is toast!* “I’m sure you would but I’m afraid my husband is needed at home tonight.”
“Husband?”
She enjoyed the way the tart’s jaw dropped. “Yes. Angel, my husband, is needed at home tonight. He’d tell you that himself but he was still asleep in our bed when I came down. Why don’t I go get Gunn and you can explain your case to him?” She smiled sweetly and turned.
“Hey beautiful.”
Cordelia froze at the sound of Brian’s voice. *Not right now dammit!*
“I’m sorry I’m late.” Brian jogged down the steps and kissed Cordelia on the cheek. “Are you ready to go to lunch, baby?” He finally noticed the other woman. “I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?”
“That’s okay. I’m here to see Angel but his wife just told me he’s asleep.”
“Who? Oh you mean Cordy.”
“She is his wife, isn’t she?”
Brian draped an arm around Cordelia’s shoulders. “They have a rather unique marriage. An understanding you could say.”
Cordelia watched the evil blonde’s eyes light up. “What exactly is your case?”
“I think I’ll just come back later and discuss it with Angel personally.”
“GUNN!” Brian and the slut jumped a bit when she bellowed. “GUNN!”
“Damn girl. I’m not deaf.” Gunn squared his shoulders when he spotted the attractive woman. “Is there a damsel in distress out here? I specialize in that.”
“This… I’m sorry I never caught your name.”
“Patricia Hensley but everyone calls me Trish.”
“Trixie here needs some help. Can you get the details of her case?”
“My name is Trish and as I said Angel is already helping me.”
“And as I’ve told you, Angel is needed here tonight. That’s not up for debate.” She held her hand up when the blonde was about to speak. “Gunn is extremely capable. I have no doubt he’ll be able to help you. Right Gunn?”
“Sure. Why don’t we go into the office and you can tell me what big bad is givin’ you problems?” Gunn spared a sideways glance at Cordelia. She normally was a lot friendlier to paying clients.
“I’m sure Angel will give you all the details. I’ll be back later and…” Trish smiled when she spotted Angel walking down the stairs. He was as handsome as ever, even with a scowl on his face. She followed his gaze. Her smile faded when she realized he was scowling at the man who had his arm around his so-called wife’s shoulders.
Cordelia shrugged off Brian’s arm without thinking and glared at her husband. “Did you sleep well?”
“Not really. The falling asleep was great but the waking up part left a lot to be desired.”
“That’s so sad for you. Your friend Trixie is here to see you.”
“Who?”
“My name is Trish. Your wife seems to have trouble remembering my name. She also doesn’t think you’ll be available to help me tonight. I hope she’s mistaken.”
Angel finally looked at the woman he’d helped. “My wife said what?”
Trish smiled sweetly in triumph. “You will be able to help me again, won’t you?” She stepped closer, blocking Cordelia. “You were so wonderful last night.”
“So that’s where you were. Wes said there was some mystery client. Sorry Trish but Cordelia was right. Angel will be needed here tonight but I’ll be happy to help you. Wes should be back soon. Between the two of us, we got you covered.”
“But Angel is already familiar with my case. Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to help me?”
“Don’t worry, Trish. I’ll bring Wes and Gunn up to speed. I will help tonight too but I can’t stay out all night again.”
“I’m glad you’ll be there. Last night was the first time I felt safe in weeks.”
Cordelia rolled her eyes at the slut’s breathy sigh. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Angel?” She didn’t wait for a response. She grabbed Angel’s hand and began dragging him upstairs.
“What about lunch?”
She smiled apologetically at Brian. She’d forgotten he was there. “Can I get a rain check? I need to talk to Angel and I have an appointment a little later.”
“OK.” He tried to keep the disappointment and confusion from his voice. “Are we still on for Caritas tonight?”
“Absolutely. I’ll..” She stumbled when Angel began dragging her. “I’ll see you there.”
Gunn watched their progress up the stairs with wary eyes. He promised not to do anything until Wesley returned so he returned his attention to their attractive client. “Would you like to discuss your case now or tonight?”
“I guess we can talk.” She was disappointed. Angel hadn’t mentioned being married and he wasn’t wearing a ring. It wasn’t surprising considering his wife seemed to have a boyfriend. She reminded herself she wasn’t in Virginia anymore. Californians seemed like a whole different species. She finally looked at Gunn. He was rather attractive too. “You look pretty capable.”
Gunn winked at her as he led her to the office. “I do all right.”
Brian glanced around the empty lobby. “I guess I’ll grab a bite on my way back to the office.”
***
Angel struggled to keep a smirk off his face. Cordelia was jealous and he loved it. “So what did you want to talk about? I should really get back to my, I mean our client.”
“Who is she? What does she want? And what the hell were you doing with her all night?”
“Her name is Patricia Hensley but I call her Trish.”
“What’s Trixie’s deal?”
“Her name is Trish. Patricia is an Irish name. I knew a few Trishes in my day.”
“Spare me your days of yore crap. What does she want?”
“Besides me? There’s a land developer, probably a demon, who wants a piece of real estate Trish owns. He hired a few vamps to run her off the place after she refused to sell.”
“Why didn’t you just stake the vamps and come home?”
“Because they’re just the lackeys. For every one of them I stake, there is another to take its place. I need to get the guy calling the shots. I didn’t have much time to do anything last night but keep her safe. I intended to come home through the sewers but she’d had them barricaded to keep the vamps out. I had to wait until minutes before the sun rose to make a mad dash for the nearest sewer access. I would have done it sooner but I was afraid to leave her alone until I was sure the vamps had left.”
“It’s not like she would’ve invited them in.” Cordelia turned away from him. She didn’t like the way he kept saying he had to protect another woman even if she knew it was the right thing to do.
“It’s a small apartment building. Vampires might not be able to get into the individual apartments but they move around the common hallways and storage spaces freely. They’ve scared off or killed most of the people who rent the apartments.”
“Are you going back over there tonight?”
Angel stepped closer, his chest almost touching her back. “I’ll be home before sunrise this time. Wes and Gunn will be there to back me up.”
“So you are going to stay with her?” Strong arms snaked around her waist. She struggled half-heartedly for a moment before leaning back against his chest.
“What would you have me do? There were only 5 vampires last night. Tonight there will probably be more. Do you want to leave Gunn and Wesley there without my help?”
“No.” Her hands rested on his arms. “It’s better if we all go.”
Angel spun her around. “You’re not going.”
“Why not? You just said there were going to be a lot of vampires. We’ll need..”
“You’re not going.”
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“Don’t you have a date tonight?” He folded his arms and glared down at her.
She refused to morn the loss of his embrace. “So what? Brian knows what I do for a living. He’ll understand if I have to work.”
“Yeah. He’s such a great guy to stand around and let his girlfriend,” his throat tightened at the word, “face danger. What a catch.”
“Shut up. I’m not some helpless blonde who needs a big strong manpire to protect me.”
He grinned down at her. “You’re jealous.”
“What! You’re delusional. I am NOT jealous of some cheap, slutty blonde with big doe eyes.” She tried to walk away but Angel grabbed her arms. His broad smile made her want to knee him in the groin.
“She needed help last night so I helped. She still needs help. We have a mission, remember?”
“I don’t remember having a vision. I think I’d remember the skull-crunching message with pictures.”
“She’s a client. You do remember we accept paying customers so that you can buy nice things like food.”
“Pfft. Since when do you care about our business?”
“I’m going to kiss you.”
“What?” Cordelia looked into Angel’s intense eyes. “You can’t.”
“I’m going to kiss you and you’re going to kiss me back.”
“But you can’t.”
“Yes I can.”
Cordelia knew she should object. She should struggle. She should slap him. She should scream her head off. She should NOT watch his lips slowly descend toward her. She should not under any circumstances allow this kiss to happen. Cordelia rose onto her toes and closed the distance capturing his lips.
Her nails gently scratched the nape of his neck as her tongue traced his lower lip begging entrance.
Angel crushed her body to his. He seized control of the kiss, plundering her mouth.
She was gasping for air by the time the kiss ended.
“You’re not going tonight. You’re going to meet Brian and you’re going to break up with him.” He turned and left their suite before she could respond.
