Title: Crossed Lines
Author: Califi
Posted:
Rating: R/N-18 Very Dark. Non-con assault scene
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Category: Dark Angst with resolution (hopefully).
Content: C/A
Summary: When Angel fires the AI Gang, Cordelia confronts Angel with terrible consequences which leads to an unexpected decision
Spoilers: Set just after Angel fired C & co. (S2)
Disclaimer: The characters in the Angelverse were created by Joss Whedon & David Greenwalt. No infringement is intended, no profit is made.
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Notes: I was bored and decided to look through a few old discs… and found this. Now, I recall writing this the first time round off the cuff, but it came out badly, I posted it on my LJ, and it wasn’t received that well. So I attempted writing again in a slightly different way – this time making sure I got my Beta, Hely to check it along the way and make some suggestions as to how to make it less…unpleasant. Now my point here was to show a side to Angel that isn’t palatable to all, but I figured it this way- Wine cellar…. What else could he have been capable of? So I went a few steps further, and this was the result.
Thanks/Dedication: Hely for doing a fantastic job at betaring and input. Love ya, mwah!
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“What you did…” “…was wrong.” “You went too far.”
“Right now the three of us are all that’s standing between you and real darkness.”
“You’re all fired.”…
Part 1
His fist paused in mid-swing. Her scent enveloped him teasingly and his gut clenched fighting the insidious, instinctive need for warmth and comfort in the darkness he’d enveloped himself in.
Weakness was the last thing Angel needed right now. “Get out, Cordelia.” He heard her pause on the stairs, and then continue down.
His head lifted but he refused to turn around. “Don’t you understand English? ” A small part of Angel cringed briefly in shame as he distinctly heard a soft intake of breath, but it didn’t last.
Cordelia tightened her full mouth into a thin line and reached the bottom of the stairs, taking a few steps further into the dim basement before coming to a wary yet determined halt.
On her way over, she’d feverishly considered her options: calm, sensible and tactful; angry, raging and physical- or…
Lifting her arms, she rested slightly trembling hands on her hips and tilted her head. “Maybe not- unless you actually did say ‘you’re fired’”, she returned acidly using her voice to lash back, maybe not the best approach but just seeing him like this was pummeling some raw nerves.
The play of muscles tightening and rippling along his naked back caught her eyes, distracting her for a moment. Cordelia’s awareness of his body recently had given her cause for concern. The threat of his alter-ego always on the peripheral.
The silence stretched out for long seconds, and then the vampire drew back his fist and continued laying into the punch bag remorselessly. Maybe if he ignored the irritating thorn in his side, she’d get the hint and go away.
His fist once again paused in mid-swing as the thorn suddenly appeared in front of him and grabbed the swinging bag. A slight oomph fell from those cherry lips as it thwacked against her chest before settling.
Cordelia looked into his tight face, dark eyes refusing to look into hers. “So much tension,” still Angel refused to look at her. Looking at her reminded him of feelings he refused to acknowledge. He was a vampire – plus he’d been down that forbidden road before.
Silence stretched almost painfully, then she spoke. “Tell you what…” Releasing the now-still bag she slipped in front of it, until less than a foot separated her from the silent vampire. “Why not ease some of that tension on me?” Now she had his full attention.
“What?” dark voice so low, Cordelia almost missed the question. Folding her arms, she shifted from one foot to the other, lifted her chin and stared hard at him. After a moment, she raised a hand and touched a slim finger to her jaw. “Right there; come on Angel. You want to crawl into the darkness,” she taunted him softly. “Why not start with me?” His dark eyes narrowed into slits and his fist moved towards her in a blur.
Cordelia cursed her instinctive flinch, even as his hand opened up at the last moment and captured her offered jaw in hard fingers. Slowly, he pulled her forward until less than an inch separated their faces. Refusing to look away from his threatening eyes; she instead gazed fearlessly into the dark chocolate depths; losing herself in the threads of gold tingeing the edges.
Angel stared back, his whole body tensed. The heat of her soft skin soaked into his flesh and burned him. Her fragrant hot breath, panting out and betraying her inner turmoil painted his lips and teased his demon. What happened now, he wondered almost numbly.
Hours earlier, when Angel had fired them, a small part of him somehow knew Cordelia wouldn’t take his dismissal lying down- though He’d hoped to God she would. After one brief glance, his eyes never touched her paling face as he’d pushed them from his small part of the universe, for fear that he’d crumble under the pressure of her, no doubt, wounded expression.
Obviously threats and acid words were not going to work with this woman- this girl. Sometimes the vampire forgot just how young Cordelia actually was. For all her bravado and throwaway words, her innocence still lay enticingly beneath the maturity developed over the months spent in his dark world and shone from eyes that displayed all the colors of autumn. But he couldn’t let her pull him away from the path he’d forged for himself from the death of a dozen lawyers.
If he let her, Darla would soon find his weakness, and wouldn’t hesitate to kill the beautiful brunette; most likely turn her and laugh mockingly as Angel was forced to dust the one light in his unlife… His jaw tightened as he weighed his options.
What could he do to drive her away once and for all? Angel knew it would have to be so out of character that Cordelia would be pushed off-kilter enough not to see through his desperation. An almost vulnerable expression flickered across his pale face before tightening, darkened eyes became unreadable.
His strong fingers applied a little more pressure, and he resolutely ignored the gasp of pain that flew involuntarily from her parted lips; her soft skin would bear bruises tomorrow, he knew, but the marks would fade; the pain he’d feel if she died would not. This had to be done. He needed her to leave- and if fear was the only way to achieve that, then so be it.
Cordelia raised a hand and circled his cool wrist tightly. She couldn’t believe Angel was actually hurting her; it was bad enough that he’d hurt her heart- but this? Forcing the instinctive pleas down, a tiny part of her wondered how far he would go. Gathering herself, she Stared defiantly into his eyes, her hand relaxed its grip and dropped, instead pressing flat against his hard chest, and silently waited for his next move.
After several long seconds, Angel let out a small breath, relaxing his fingers ever so slightly, but still the pressure was hard enough to redden her skin. “You gonna leave?” his low voice sent tremors through her taut body, but her moistening eyes refused to leave his. Movement was impossible.
“No,” the word whispered huskily from slightly trembling lips, and for a moment Angel closed his eyes. As if he thought it would ever be easy this Cordelia Chase.
The heart she unknowingly held in her warm hands hardened deliberately, and he abruptly swiveled on his heel without releasing his grip. Cordelia clutched onto his waist as she was moved away from the punch bag until her back hit the wall across the other side of the basement.
The rough, hard brick pressed painfully into her spine as the Angel leaned his full weight against her, a small unpleasant smile now touching his pale mouth. “So…. watchya willing to give to make me change my mind?” Cordelia’s eyes widened in shock as he ground his lower body into hers; the feel of his hardening length pressing against her pubic bone told her exactly where he was going with this.
“My friendship” she faltered at his instant expression of contempt, then the nasty grin returned. For a brief moment, the fingers of his free hand traced around one breast, seeking and finding the rapidly hardening bud and tweaking it just short of painful. Cordelia gasped in shock, her nipple tingling from the rough caress.
“Is that it?” He asked softly; a mock frown of disappointment creased Angel’s brow even as inwardly he was reeling at his body’s physical reaction to her, causing him to quickly ease back until a small gap separated them. Cordelia swallowed painfully, then her head nodded as much as was possible in his tight grip.
For a microsecond before he’d propelled them here Cordelia had been pierced by the knowledge that there was something still human in him, something that acknowledged their bond, then that light was extinguished and his eyes had gone depthless and grim again. Letting out an almost indistinct sigh of relief when he finally released her face, she reached up to carefully touch her jaw, wincing at the sore spots already forming. Angel’s eyes flickered for moment and he took another small step back.
Feeling a little more confident now he’d widened the gap, Cordelia tilted her chin and the fire that had brought her here returned as glared up at him. No way was she allowing him to intimidate her…. at the same time, she couldn’t help but accept this was a side to Angel that was so far removed it was almost impossible not to be a little afraid.
She knew he’d picked up on it and to her; that fear seemed to be feeding whatever was going on with him right now. She also prayed desperately that he hadn’t picked up on her involuntary arousal at the pressure of his forming erection in such intimate contact. Forbidden dreams that had plagued her recently coming back to haunt her even though the situation was so horribly wrong.
“And here was I thinking you had something better to offer,” Cordelia was pulled out of her frantic thoughts by the low voice that dripped with contempt. Angel inwardly flinched along with the brunette at his harsh dismissal of something so precious, but he pushed onwards; his hands lifting to deliberately squeeze her breasts, causing a shaky intake of breath from both of them.
“I’m not here for…that,” she couldn’t hold back the blush that flared to life on her cheeks; her eyes widening at the soft chuckle the left him, hands dropping to her hips and flexing his long fingers into her flesh.
“Don’t lie to me,” Angel leaned in, whispering against her ear and sent a shudder rippling through her. “You think I can’t tell how turned on you are?” he took a deep, exaggerated breath and moaned, his cool tongue flicking out to lave the lobe of her ear.
Cordelia pushed at his chest and attempted a scowl. “Then your vampy senses are all screwed up- just like your head, buddy,” She lied without batting an eyelid and refused to drop her defiant eyes from his knowing ones. In a blur of movement he pressed into her again, this time curling a large hand around her thigh. When it slid under her skirt, Cordelia’s thighs instinctively clamped together. Angel merely grinned and forced his knees between hers, pushing her legs wide.
“Don’t!” She tensed her muscles and pushed against his chest frantically, but the vampire ignored her struggles and slid his hand higher, hooking hard fingers into the elastic of her panties and pulling abruptly. The delicate silk ripped effortlessly and he let the shredded fabric slip to the floor. Before she could cry out, a rock hewn thigh slid up, the fabric rough against the sensitive skin of her inner thighs. Then not taking his eyes off her stunned face Angel lifted the leg higher, forcing her to grab his shoulders as he lifted her to straddle the muscled limb.
Cordelia gave a yelp feeling the coarse cotton rub against the soft lips now exposed to the elements. A gasp forced its way out of her mouth as Angel lunged to latch cool lips against one side of her neck, blunt teeth nipping dangerously at the cord running down the sensitive column. It was intimate and oh God, had shivers chasing down the length of her body like an electrical current gone haywire. “Angel! Stop it!”
Angel ignored the panic and fear in her voice, instead shuddering as the tight heat pressed down on his rigid cool flesh. His cock throbbed in anticipation. It took him a moment to realize his eyes had slammed shut in pleasure; he opened them and jerked up to stare into the shocked and embarrassed eyes of his seer. for a moment, his gaze dropped to her moist parted mouth and the urge to crush her lips beneath his rose within him like a tsunami. Dragging his eyes back up to hers, a leer twisted his firm mouth.
“So, did the Wilson episode put you off?… I’m betting it did and you’d be deliciously tight. Shall I find out?” he asked thickly; her proximity had begun to effect Angel in a way he hadn’t been prepared for and he was almost mindless with a rising temptation to forget about lessons and just drag her down, covering and sinking to ride her hard.
“My sex life is none of your damned business!” Cordelia’s voice shook as mortification warred with anger. . The shock of her friend assaulting her- and her actually enjoying it stirred a gamut of emotions; predominantly shame at her instinctive response; her breasts ached, the echo of his massaging hands making them feel full and sensitive.
“What sex life? A little fumble and quick fuck with Spawn Guy?” He chuckled quietly before adding, “what you need is a real man.” He punctuated his words by circling her, forcing her hips to gyrate against him, bringing the buried nubbin of flesh to further throbbing life.
“Then I’ll go find one- get OFF me, Angel!” she became frantic as he quickened his movements, forcing her to ride him and rubbing against her clit insistently. Oh God, if he didn’t stop soon… “Please…” Cordelia shut her eyes tight and dropped her head until her forehead rested against his bare shoulder. Tuning her out, Angel absorbed every shudder, her spicy arousal dampened the cloth of his pants and coated the back of his throat and the taste teased him. With a husky groan, he pushed her harder into the wall, plastering them together, his sweat soaked chest to her heaving one.
Her hot breath against his throat made Angel shudder deliciously and he moaned thickly into her sweetly scented tousled hair. Shifting to gain access, he felt a powerful force dragging up from the depths, urging him to just take what her body was unconsciously offering, but he growled in denial tamping it down. Rough hands pushed aside her skirt, burrowing hard to find the flesh he’d been kneading, racking up the pace to hurry things along by spearing a thick finger inside her. “Knew you’d be tight,” he gritted out against her neck between rough sucking kisses. Her slick heat went straight to his hardening groin.
Letting out an involuntary hoarse scream at the unexpected invasion Cordelia battered her hands against his head, back and shoulders- anywhere she could reach. The will to fight was delayed though and the invasion that spawned it came too late to dry her.
Her frantic struggles went unheeded, the scalding wet heat coating his finger and hand as he worked her rapidly. Roughly, he pushed another digit in and teased her clit with a calloused thumb until her walls fluttered and finally clenched spasmodically around his hard flesh; his name fell from her parted mouth with a high keening moan even as her creamy juices flooded and coated his still-moving fingers. Angel couldn’t keep an answering moan from escaping his own panting mouth; blunt teeth biting down just short of breaking the soft skin.
His weight abruptly vanished, and hard hands gripped Cordelia’s hips loosely as she slid down the wall, her legs turning to jelly as she fragmented, only half aware as he let her slip from his clutches- then he was gone.
As the haze of pleasure cleared, Cordelia became aware of her wanton pose; half sitting with her back against the wall, her legs splayed. Her dazed eyes lifted to find him standing over her, face expressionless as he regarded her silently- then a cruel leer stretched his firm mouth and made her want to retch.
As she watched, transfixed, Angel lifted his hand and slid glistening fingers into his mouth. Her unique taste zinged on his tongue, mouth watering traitorously as the need for more tore at him relentlessly. He suppressed the pleasurable shudder that threatened to run through his body and forced himself to focus. .“Mmmm…delicious…and tempting,”
His husked whisper sent a shiver down Cordy’s spine. Shakily she drew her legs together and struggled to stand, pulling her skirt over her hips as she did so. Angel continued to hover, his arms now folded as he watched her attempt at composure. His heart ached with shame, but he’d gone too far to back off now. This needed to be done, he reminded himself desperately.
“Tempting, yeah- but it seems you have nothing much to give after all,” his emotionless words washed over her like an icy wave. “Well…nothing I want anyway.” with a careless shrug, Angel turned his back on her and walked over to the punch bag.
Cordelia’s mouth dropped open in shock, then the pain of his harsh words hit her right between the eyes- and heart. Her knees almost buckled but she wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing what he’d done to her. Cordelia stared at his rippling back as he pounded into the punch bag without pause.
She’d lost him. This wasn’t the manpire she knew and … loved. Why she thought she could turn him around and make him see sense was now laughable. The heat he’d drawn from her cooled until goose bumps prickled her skin unpleasantly, and acrid bile caught in her throat even as her eyes filled with bitter tears. Shame and disgust filled her at the ease in which he’d drawn her to climax.
Pressing a shaking hand to her lips, Cordelia turned and walked away. There was nothing left here for her. She only hoped the PTB got the message too.
Determined to follow it through to the bitter end, Angel resolutely ignored the catch in her breath, the scent of her tears and the dragging of her feet as they took her towards the stairs. The slow thud of her heart hit him hard with each beat until the door closed quietly and it faded out of earshot.
The main door thudded heavily behind her retreating figure. He waited five minutes… then dropped his arms and collapsed into a heap on the hard, unforgiving floor. Sobs shook his big body; the tears finally allowed release, falling down his pale face. The scent of her arousal clung to him and shame curled around in his gut.
Angel had finally succeeded in cutting himself off- from the one person in his life who meant something to him.
And he hated himself with a vengeance
***
The bedding abruptly leaving his body brought the vampire to instant awareness. Angel belatedly cursed his sleep of the dead on realizing someone had managed to enter his room without his knowledge.
So much for being prepared for a confrontation with Darla and Dru!
“Angel!” His natural face slowly receded when his enraged eyes registered the almost purple face of Wesley Wyndham Price. Just as slowly, he released the tight grip on the man’s throat and swung his legs over the side of the bed, warily eyeing the intruder who gasped, attempting to regain his equilibrium.
“I thought I told you to leave,” Angel ignored the ache as he more or less repeated the words thrown at the brunette yesterday- then his gut clenched.
Has she told them what had happened…? His shoulders relaxed as he realized, no, Cordelia Chase wouldn’t disclose something so…. vile done by his hands.
“Yes, I’m well aware that I no longer have the…privilege to work with you, Angel,” Wes finally rasped out, rubbing his sore throat gingerly. Note to self he thought wryly, Never disturb a sleeping vampire when within strangling distance.
He cleared his throat. “I just had this strange and possibly ridiculous idea that you may want to be informed about Cordelia-” Angel’s head snapped up at the mention of his seer, dread building in his belly at the serious tone of the man standing a safe distance away.
“Cordelia? What’s happened?” The fact that Wes wasn’t toting a stake gave him small reassurance that whatever had brought him here; it had nothing to do with what had happened last night.
“She’s gone.” Wes replied simply. Angel shot off the bed and was towering over the man before he could blink.
“We were supposed to meet up at Caritas last night; she didn’t turn up,” Wes quickly explained. “We assumed Cordelia was still upset, so we waited until this morning to visit her apartment.” He removed his glasses and fiddled with them, swallowing a few times.
“Go on.” Angel bit the words out harshly, irritated by the delay.
“Well, Dennis let us in and gave me a note.” Wes slipped a hand in his pocket, but paused, reconsidering whether or not he was doing the right thing, coming to the possible cause of Cordelia’s disappearance. It had hit her hard. Bastard.
“Wes,” the growl in the dark voice made up his mind.
“Actually, I really can’t, for the life of me understand why I came here.” Wes slipped his glasses back on and stepped back. “In my panic, I forgot you were no longer part of our family.” With one last cursory glance, Wes turned on his heel and walked to the door.
“Give me the note.” He wasn’t that surprised to see the vampire already standing at the exit. As an ex-Watcher, Wes never forgot the abilities of the demons he came across daily.
With a heavy sigh, he pulled out the note and handed it over. Angel snatched it abruptly and opened the paper with strangely trembling fingers.
Hey guys,
Sorry I couldn’t make it to the drinkfest, but I got to thinking- and you know that is a scary thing where Cordelia Chase is concerned….
I know, this isn’t the time to get all humoury. Thing is, I can’t do it anymore. I am totally sick of this life- and sick of other people’s redemption issues…. So I’m going for a sabbatical.
Am I coming back? This is the thing. I haven’t made up my mind yet. You never know- maybe now I have no champion for my visions, they might just go away? If they do, then no, I’m gone for good.
I’m not going to tell you where I’m going, for obvious reasons, but I promise you, guys, I WILL be in touch- just not sure when. My rent is paid up for the next two months, so I have time to think things out.
Take care; love you both- sorry I bailed on you guys. I know it has to be the worst thing I could have done. Anyhoo, don’t worry, okay? I’ll keep out of trouble. Promise.
Cordelia xxx
He’d wanted her gone. So why did it feel like someone had just reached into his chest and torn out his heart?
***
Cordelia stared blindly out of the window, unaware of the unchanging scenery as she thought over the past several hours.
After leaving the hotel, she’d walked aimlessly, before realizing how stupid it was to do such a thing when dawn had yet to break. By the time she’d returned to her apartment, her mind was made up.
She needed to get away; needed to put space between herself and the vampire with the seriously shaky soul- her best friend- EX best friend, she reminded herself bitterly.
Pouring it all out to a concerned Dennis, Cordelia had pulled out a case and filled it haphazardly, tears of anger shame and regret blurring her vision. It had taken almost half an hour fighting with Dennis over her clothes until she lost it and yelled at him.
Her phantom hadn’t slammed doors and hid with the rebuff, though…. instead helping the distraught girl pack things with a little more order.
After taking time out to compose a letter to Wes and Gunn, Cordelia left her apartment with promises to Dennis of keeping in touch; hurriedly grabbing her purse and case when realizing time had fled; sunlight filtering through the heavy drapes.
She shifted in her seat; the echo of his touch still zinged through her body. If not for the fact that the vampire hadn’t attempted to kiss her, the shame, she knew, wouldn’t have been so all consuming. Yet how easily she’d succumbed still taunted her.
Angel’s insults and callous dismissal after he’d reduced her body to a quivering wreck were etched into her tired brain, but for the life of her, she couldn’t shake off the feeling that he’d somehow played her. Had he?
A big part of her held onto that idea.
It kept her marginally sane; a thin shred of hope she tucked away to pull out when things got just too much…
Her eyes refocused long enough to read the large sign the bus passed:
“Welcome to Sunnydale.”
Probably the worst place Cordelia could run to, but with limited funds, she had nowhere else to go.
A bitter smile touched her pale lips. She doubted anyone went near the place she’d decided to use as her temporary sanctuary; plenty of time to clear her head and decide what to do and where to go next.