********
The hallway light provided Cordelia with the ability to see both Connor and Angel clearly while keeping her son out of the direct beam. Surrounded by the two most important men in her life, the brunette allowed herself a moment to absorb the image in front of her.
Angel was looking at pictures his son had drawn on the drive to Sunnydale, as he interacted with the five year old, Cordelia didn’t miss the shine in the vampire’s gaze when he looked back at her. She’d watched as he’d won the right to make Connor his bedtime chocolate drink, stating in a serious tone how he was known the world over for his hot chocolate.
“My mom says that you’re special” Connor piped up, feeling it was the right time to find out if his mom had been telling porkies all along. “And that Sunnypale is a special place where weird thing happen all the time. Is it true or she telling porkies?”
A surprised gaze was sent Cordelia’s way and she found herself struggling to keep the smile from showing. Yes she had told their son about Angel being a vampire, she just hadn’t used that word exactly. Connor was a very curious little boy and if he didn’t get answers one way, he would get them another.
He’d found her junior high year book, read all the little inscriptions she’d and then proceeded to bombard her with questions until he’d been threatened with extra chores.
“You told him?” Angel stared unblinking at the mother of his son, wondering what she had told the five year old exactly.
“Sort of” the brunette smiled sheepishly as she nibbled her lower lip. All kinds of questions were written on the vampire’s expression, she knew he wanted to know about his son’s condition, her pregnancy and most probably why she never told him about the baby. Those were the questions that needed the answers Cordelia didn’t want Connor to hear. “Ask Connor”
“What did Cor, uh, your mom tell you about me, Connor?” Angel wanted to call him son and be called dad in return but figured it was too early, too soon in their relationship for that. He didn’t doubt for one second that it would take the intensity to an unbearable level. Discounting the already heavy atmosphere, the vampire liked referring to Cordelia as his son’s mom, it did more than give a glimmer of hope in the way he might be a real part of their life.
The five year old became solemn and looked at his father with a very serious expression as if to prepare himself for more porkies. “Mom said you were old, really, really old, like ancient old and that you were real special, like me. She said that you were really strong and could lift cars and everything like Superman” he nodded gravely. “And she said that…”
“Connor, I think he gets the picture, baby” at the expression on the vampire’s face, Cordelia figured she should step in and allow him a moment to catch his thoughts. “Have you finished your chocolate? If so then you can go wash your hands, face and brush your teeth” she counted down from five.
“No” Connor tilted his mug, showing the remaining chocolate that barely covered the bottom of the mug, “I got lots left see? Can I stay up late tonight please mom? I’ve been extra, extra good and dad’s here and he hasn’t seen all my pictures yet and he hasn’t seen my room. Please?”
Angel wasn’t sure if he should say Connor could stay up, not wanting to undermine Cordelia’s authority with his son but he wanted to spend as much time as he could with the little boy before he had to go. There was so much to catch up on, too much to catch up on in a few short hours. He knew there was always tomorrow but after five years of not knowing what he had, tomorrow seemed like an eternity away and he didn’t want to wait.
Both father and son regarded Cordelia, equally deep, brown eyes provided double the pleading and begging for Connor to be allowed to stay up later than usual. She frowned under the very heavy weight of the puppy dog expressions from both of them. Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to ask Angel to stay, it obviously wasn’t going to work in her favour.
Surely, there was a way to get her son settled while giving them both the time they wanted with each other. Thinking deeply, the brunette came up with a plan that required self-congratulations and she gave herself a mental pat on the back. “Why don’t you go wash up and bring a pillow and quilt off your bed? That way, you can get settled in the living room and stay up late at the same time?”
The secret to being a good parent was learning the art of compromise. This way, Cordelia could get Connor settled enough to make him tired, kept him happy and giving Angel more time with the son he’d never known he had. Killing three birds with one stone had to be a personal record.
“Like camping out only in the living room?” Connor questioned his mom while sending a glance at his father. “Can dad stay and watch a Disney or a monster movie with us?”
Angel once again looked at the mother of his son for the answer; he was starting to feel like he was intruding on their family time, something he didn’t want to do.
“If it’s okay with Angel, why don’t you ask him?” Cordelia encouraged, keeping tight hold on the hope bubbling up in her stomach. She wanted Angel to stay, but not just for the night, they had so many things to talk about that didn’t revolve around the five year old. Hazel orbs brimming with held back hope and a sparkle of happiness locked onto the vampire’s warm brown gaze that shared the emotion.
“Dad, are you gonna camp out? It’ll be loads of fun, I promise to be super good and do what I’m told.” Connor didn’t seem to have any problems in acknowledging his connection to Angel. “Mom can make us a midnight snack”
“No mom can’t” Cordelia stopped that train of thought right there and then with a simple but firm sentence. “What mom is going to do is turn off the hallway light so you can go wash up. While you take your big ears with you, mom is going to have a few minutes alone with Angel”
“No sandwiches?” the five year old asked hopefully, “Not even one little banana sandwich?” he loved those.
“No, you’ve already had your supper, hot chocolate and not to mention half the ice cream I told you to wait for” the brunette gave her son a knowing look and he instantly stopped asking for things he knew he wouldn’t get. Folding her arms over her chest, Cordelia shared a look with Angel who had caught on to Connor’s little game where food was concerned.
“You have a big appetite huh?” the vampire asked with a tiny flicker of a smile, “Where does it all go?”
“You’ve heard of bottomless pits haven’t you?” Cordelia remarked dryly, “There’s a Connor-shaped one right in front of you.” A deep sigh was exhaled and she rolled her shoulders, “Well, I’ll let you guys have a little alone time while I go clean up and turn off the light. Make sure you are a good boy for your dad, Connor, or there’ll be no trip out tomorrow night”
Warning firmly in place and satisfied with the promising nod from her son, the brunette hurried out of the kitchen and her footsteps was heard bounding up the stairs.
Angel returned his gaze to the five year old child waiting for him to say something to break the silence. “So you’re going on a trip out tomorrow night, you going anywhere nice?” he had to start somewhere right? What better way than to find out where his son was going and what he liked to do.
Connor nodded happily, “Mom said we’ll go find a park that has no street lights or lamps so I can play for a little while. Not for long though because Sunnypale is special so mom says. Why are you special? Does the light hurt you like it does me?”
“The sunshine does and it’s Sunnydale not Sunnypale” the vampire remarked quietly and corrected the small mistake. He wasn’t exactly sure how he felt about his son’s condition when he hardly knew anything about it. It was called photosensitivity apparently and people who had it couldn’t be in direct light of any kind, not even candle light.
What kind of life must his son have?
He was at fault, Angel realized with a crushing wave of lead, because of his vampirism his son couldn’t have the normal life a kid his age should have. Did he have any friends his own age or was Cordelia literally all he had? Was Connor all Cordelia had? The thoughtful questions came thick and fast, causing the vampire’s chest to ache with a dull ache for them both.
If only they had never left Sunnydale all those years ago, if only he hadn’t killed Jenny Calendar and her trust in him, if only he’d begged her to come back that night. There were too many regrets, Angel decided, too many ‘if only’s’ for his liking, now they were back in Sunnydale he could take care of his son and Cordelia if she would give him a chance to make things right.
“I can’t even be in candle light” the way Connor spoke it was as if Angel didn’t have any reason to complain about the sunshine being his only problem. “You never said if you were gonna camp out here. It could be like a sleepover and we could sneak some sweets while mom’s asleep” the child lowered his voice to a conspiratorial whisper that made the vampire’s smile that little bit bigger.
“I doubt your mom would like that very much, we’d both get told off I think” Angel replied in the same whispered tone. “I don’t know about you but she scares me.”
Connor’s big brown eyes went huge when his dad said that mom scared him, “But mom said you were real special and you were scary when you wanted to be. If she scares you then she must be the real scary thing, right?” Cordelia had always told him stories about his dad, making him out to be a real hero that scared people who did very bad things. “Wow!” he’d have to remember not to make mom angry in the future.
Angel wondered what Cordelia had told the little boy exactly, when Connor went to wash up he’d have a chance to get a few questions answered before his son came back. “I’d like very much to camp out” he finally responded to the boy’s original subject. “You can show me all your drawings and your room if you want” he didn’t to lose out on anything else concerning his son.
It would take time to build up a paternal bond with him, the vampire knew, but the one thing he had enough of was time and he wanted that time to be spent on his son and Cordelia. Already, the young woman had become his main focus, in a very different way to Connor of course.
She was just as beautiful as he remembered, if not more so. Being a mother seemed to have softened her hard edges and brought out the exquisite woman he had known five years ago. No-one else had known Cordelia Chase like he did, no-one else could read her like an open book and no-one else had worshipped her like he had.
The switching off of the hallway light announced the brunette’s return and Angel’s anticipating gaze watched the entrance to the kitchen, waiting impatiently for her to come back in. “Connor, go wash up, baby while dad and I talk” Cordelia popped a kiss on her son’s head as she ushered the five year old out of the chair.
“Aw mom” he grumbled with a scowl, “My hands are clean, see?”
Even Angel raised his eyebrows at the blatant fib that fell from his son’s mouth and he spoke up. “Show me your palms”
Cordelia forced to keep the threatening smile off her face at the vampire’s sudden paternal attitude towards the little boy, asking to see the palms of his hands. Connor shuffled on his feet as he peered towards his mom for assistance in the matter of his cleanliness. “Mom see?” he knew it was dark and his mom wouldn’t be able to see as good as he could.
“Go wash your hands, Connor” Angel nodded at the grateful expression thrown his way from the brunette at his commanding tone. “You haven’t washed them since you were playing outside and I’m not letting you have dirty hands and face, now go.” He watched as the boy’s shoulders slumped in defeat and the big brown eyes grow wide with his sulking. Immediately, the vampire felt horrible for being so commanding with him.
“Give in and he’ll walk all over you” came the advice from someone the vampire figured knew Connor well enough to have earned the right to give advice on the five year olds’ behaviour. “Do as your father tells you baby, or no trip out tomorrow night”
The loud sigh told his parents just what he thought of the blackmail bestowed on him. Petulantly pouting, the five year old stomped off up the stairs and went to do as he was told, leaving Cordelia and Angel alone.
As soon as the little boy was out of earshot, Cordelia braced herself for the coming onslaught of Angel’s resentment, anger and questions about everything. This was a scenario that she’d been preparing for since the vampire had come face to face with his son in the Magic Shop. She just wished she’d had more to work out what she was going to say to him.
“Get on with it, Angel” the brunette stated quietly as she turned her back to him, lightly rubbing the counter surface with circles made by her fingertips in the hope the movements would keep her calm. “Just keep your voice down, I don’t want Connor to hear any yelling especially from you”
Angel got out of his chair, went and stood behind the brunette and made her look at him so she could see the hurt, confusion and the beginnings of forgiveness in the depths of the warm, timbre gaze. “I wouldn’t shout or yell at you anyway, Cordelia. Yelling and arguing won’t change things and it won’t turn back time so why waste breath?”
The brunette did everything she could to keep from melting into his arms at the sound of the familiar husky voice that had haunted her dreams, nights and days for the last five years. She wished he’d been there to see Connor when he had been a baby, wished he’d been there to help her through the pregnancy and wished he’d been there simply to love her.
“I can’t apologize for something I’m not sorry for” leaving Sunnydale back then had been a necessity.
He didn’t miss the relevance of those words; they were the same ones he’s said to her when Cordelia had bravely approached the subject of Jenny Calendar’s murder. Forgiveness, Angel knew, was hard to ask for and even harder to give but it was easy to feel when you understood the circumstances. “You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”
Cordelia shook her head, still not looking at him fully. “What was I supposed to say Angel? Who was I supposed to say the father was? Hey guys, I slept with the vampire you all know as Angelus and got pregnant?” she asked with a bitter smile.
“Or maybe I could have said hey guys, I slept with a couple of jocks and don’t know which one the father is?” her gaze now searched his for answers to how she could have explained it back then.
“How about ‘Angel, I’m pregnant?’“ Angel supplied, traces of understandable anger filled his throaty voice as he stared down at her. “Why didn’t you tell me? You knew you had nothing to fear from me”
“Not you, just everyone else”
The vampire couldn’t argue with her statement and she carried on speaking. “I couldn’t have been happy being around you with a baby after…” Cordelia stopped her words, seeing no need to say the name that no doubt haunted him. “I thought what I did was for my baby’s best interests, me or you never came into the equation”
Most of her words were true, except of the fact that Angel did come into the equation.
“What would you have done, what would your reaction have been if I’d told you?” Cordelia paused to take in a deep breath as she prepared to admit the one fear she’d had back then. “You would have accused me of being with someone else, you would have thought I was lying and you would have killed me for it”
“Not killed you” even as he said the words, Angel doubted them. He hadn’t had his soul when the brunette had made the discovery, Angelus may be him without a conscience but he was very different. Angelus said things he thought but would never say, do the things he wanted but would never do and he just may have killed Cordelia at the thought of her with another male.
Off her knowing expression, the vampire knew he doubted his own words and he was reminded of just how well the young woman read him. “I would have known you hadn’t slept with someone else, I would have been able to scent it. I would have felt it” Angel laid one of her fears to rest, the other fear he couldn’t. “You would have been taken care of” that something he was a hundred percent certain of.
“Is that before or after the accusations and death threats?” Cordelia asked, the hazel shining with the harsh truth. “I wanted to tell you, didn’t want to leave but the not knowing of what to do and the feeling of having no choice…” she shrugged as the words drifted off. There was no use crying over spilt milk, what’s done is done there’s nothing you can do to change it.
Angel understood the confusion that must have wrapped around her like a thick blanket, he understood because the confusion was enveloping him right now. There was a time and a place for them to get their personal issues out and the first night with his son wasn’t it. Cordelia was right, it wasn’t about him or her or anyone else, the only thing that mattered now was Connor.
His relationship with Cordelia would be next once he got to know his son and had a chance to be a real father. Thinking about the little boy, Angel easily counted the years between now and the last time he saw the brunette. “He’s five?”
“Five” Cordelia confirmed, relieved at the change in conversation between them “Six on the 18th of June” she wondered if he could figure out the night of conception. “He arrived right on time Angel, he was so small”
The flicker of a wistful smile told her he got it.
“I wish I could have been there” Angel kept the emotion out of his voice at the thought of missing such an important occasion like the birth of his only child. “Tell me everything, Cordelia. Don’t keep anything else to do with Connor from me”
“There are pictures of when I was pregnant with him but I haven’t unpacked everything yet and the removal van isn’t due until Thursday afternoon so I can’t show you yet” she explained apologetically then her face dropped a little. “You can’t have a picture of Connor growing up, the flash will hurt him. The only pictures I have were the ones taken before his condition fully developed”
Angel felt his heart waver at the thought of the only photographs were of Connor when he was just a baby, he was hoping to be able to at least see pictures of his son’s life. “His condition” he approached gently and winced at the little piece of heart break that washed over the brunette’s features. “Is it because I’m a vampire?” it had to be.
Cordelia shook her head, sending the tied back curls bouncing around her shoulders “No” she stated firmly. “Photosensitivity isn’t anything to do with the parents so don’t blame yourself.” She changed the subject, not wanting a deep discussion when Connor wasn’t going to be long upstairs.
“He’s really smart Angel” she beamed in motherly pride, “He can read almost as well as a kid twice his age”
“He can’t go to school, can he?” Angel commented rather than questioned. “Do you have a home tutor or do you teach him yourself?”
“I can’t afford a home tutor so I teach what I can you know, like reading and writing” the brunette explained. “Since I didn’t graduate from high school there’s only so much I can do”
She’d given up her entire life to care for Connor that much was obvious to him. He couldn’t have asked for a better or more caring woman to have a child with and Angel swore that Cordelia Chase wouldn’t be alone in raising his son anymore. “I can help with teaching him stuff… That is if you’ll let me” he trod these waters carefully, not sure if she would want him that deeply involved in Connor’s life.
He would respect her wishes; after all she had been the one to carry the baby to term and care for him all his young life.
Cordelia nodded, “That would be really great, you know, you’re old and you obviously know more stuff than me so your help would be a big help. Thank you, Angel” the gratitude in her voice was so sincere, making the vampire feel like his help was wanted, not just needed. “Maybe you could…”
“I don’t want to be ‘help’“ the statement quickly cut her off “I want to be in my son’s life Cordelia” Angel’s voice was firm and steadfast. “I don’t want to be one of those fathers who only see their children on weekends or when it suits them. I want to be a part of his raising, I don’t want to miss out anymore of his life” the plea in his tone wasn’t missed by the brunette. The vampire watched her facial expressions go from uncertainty to closed-off and then finally to relief.
“Connor would love that” a soft smile tilted her lips upwards “I know I would… You being a part of Connor’s life a-as a father”
Angel didn’t want her to let him be that to his son if she was going to run away again. “I won’t let you run again, Cordelia.” This time, there would be no reason for her to leave, she had to see this was where she and his son belonged. With people who might be able to help, even if it was in a small way.
“I didn’t want to run in the first place, I just didn’t know what to do” Cordelia peered up at him, knowing he remembered that night as well as she did, probably more so. “You sent me away, let me go. I didn’t want to go but I wasn’t going to beg”
Angel respectfully listened to the brunette as she talked about his demon’s one regret, the one mistake his soulless self knew he’d made before he actually did it. “You never looked back Cordelia, I was waiting for you to come back. But you didn’t and it was good that you were strong enough to leave” before I sucked Sunnydale, the world and you into hell.
He couldn’t bring himself to tell her what he’d went on to do after she’d walked away. He wouldn’t be able to see those hazel orbs once again full of despair.
The young mother nodded as though she understood what Angel was telling her, she knew Angelus well enough to know he was capable of doing almost anything up to and including starting a World War if he was angry enough. “I miss…”
Who did she miss? Angel or Angelus? Were there any real differences between them?
Tension so thick it could almost be seen weaving around them, filling the air with the first hint of male and female arousal as their memories of heated nights and lazy days coincided. Standing so close to her while her body reacted to his proximity had Angel resisting the urge to dominate like he had done so many times in the past.
He had never needed to touch or taste her before she got wet; like now Angel knew by the sudden, sharp scent of spice emanating from her body just how hot Cordelia would be right then. Her lips were parted and dry as breathing began to deepen, making her mouth parched and causing her tongue to wet those lips of hers. The hazel orbs were melting, the flashing irises drawing him and making him drown in the heating gaze.
“A-are you staying tonight?” voice was thick with arousal and hope as she asked timidly; not wanting to push the vampire too hard as it was all still new to him. If he stayed, then they could start working through it all. “I understand if it’s too much too soon…”
“It’s too little too late, Cordelia” Angel’s own voice was throaty and husky. “I’ve missed out on so much with you and Connor. I don’t want to miss anything else.”
The hope that glimmered in her doe eyes were reflected in the vampire’s hypnotizing dark gaze, “So you’re staying tonight? For the sleepover?”
“Yes”
“Aw you’re not gonna kiss her are you?” a disgusted, little voice piped up from the entrance to the kitchen, making both parents jump apart guiltily and glare at Connor who had appeared in the entrance to the kitchen.
*****
Angel felt the slight weight on his leg shift, rousing the lightly sleeping vampire into waking up. For a moment, he wasn’t quite sure where he was when his dark gaze scanned the small but cosy living room suspiciously. It didn’t take more than a split second for the memory to catch up with his sleeping brain and an awed expression swept across his features.
Granted he hadn’t seen his reflection in some two hundred and fifty odd years, Angel swore he could himself in his son. Offhandedly he wondered if he’d looked just like Connor when he had been five years old. A little boy with black, floppy hair and dark eyes that glinted with wicked mischief; a little boy who’s face shone with happiness every time he smiled.
There were so many characteristics of Cordelia in Connor that Angel had picked up on during the too short a time he’d spent with them. From the words he used in the long, strung together sentences to the facial expressions he pulled. Even his smile was pure Cordelia, full of childish innocence with a spark of little boy charm.
Angel ran his free hand over the soft hair on his son’s fragile head, marvelling at how small the boy was compared to him. The thought brought a wistful sigh from his naturally pale lips as he wondered how small Connor had been at birth.
He wondered so many things about not just the birth but the pregnancy too. Had it been an easy pregnancy? Or had Cordelia suffered without anyone to help her?
How had Cordelia coped being 17, pregnant and alone? How had she gotten by? How had she survived? The brunette knew the dangers in the world, both the natural and the supernatural dangers. Those were things Angel fully intended to find out, even if he had to wait for her to tell him in her own time.
He was proud of her, the events following the birth definitely hadn’t been easy on her and Angel could say without a doubt he was proud of Cordelia for raising him the way she did. Connor was well-mannered for his age, he was bright and didn’t seem to miss a thing that was going on around him. Not to mention, the little boy was highly protective of his mother.
Every time Angel had gotten close to Cordelia, Connor had narrowed his eyes as though trying to figure out what his dad was up to. The glare on his son’s face had been enough to make the vampire realise not only did he have his mother’s personality traits but also some most definitely belonging to his father.
Rolling his neck free of the muscle kinks, he peered down at Connor who was fast asleep with his small head resting on Angel’s thigh. The duvet almost covered the little boy from head-to-toe with only the sight of the head of black hair visible.
Angel removed his arm that had been curled around his son and stretched as much as he could without waking the boy. Carefully as he could, the vampire replaced his thigh with his son’s pillow and slipped out from underneath his head.
The chair Cordelia had curled up in was now vacated and though her scent was still weaving around him, it had faded a little causing irrational panic to take hold. Scanning through the arch that led to the hallway, Angel spotted the light beaming out from under the kitchen door and figured that was where the brunette would be.
Walking quietly on his tip-toes across the carpet, he dodged the toys, crayons and colouring books laying in the place Connor had left them.
A song quietly filtered through the silence of the early morning emanating from the room the mother of his son was probably taking a few minutes to herself. Casting a glance over his shoulder, subconsciously checking on Connor satisfied to see he was still asleep. Deciding that while the little boy was asleep, Angel would join Cordelia in the kitchen to talk about her and what happens now.
Opening the door only as much as he needed to slide into the kitchen, Angel cleared his throat quietly so as not to startle the young woman sipping what smelled like hot chocolate. “Mind if I join you?” he nudged his head towards one of the three empty seats around the small, square table in the middle of the room.
“Sure” Cordelia invited with a welcoming smile over the rim of her mug. “You looked peaceful, I didn’t want to wake you”
“Glad you didn’t” the vampire stated gratefully, it hadn’t been the most comfortable sleeping position but when his son had settled himself and almost immediately fell asleep, Angel didn’t have the heart to wake him. “That was probably the best night of my existence”
“You should have taken my offer to use my bed with Connor” the brunette shyly smiled, knowing exactly what he meant when he had stated that moving Connor would only disturb him. “He’s so sweet when he’s asleep isn’t he? Like a little angel… Pardon the pun. You want some coffee? The kettle’s just been boiled and I think there’s enough water left”
Cordelia went to get up to make some coffee when he stopped her, “Sit” Angel told her, not thinking twice about using a firm tone with her. “You’ve done nothing but run around after Connor and me all night. I’ll make my own coffee”
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to avoid my coffee” the young mother narrowed her eyes dangerously much like Connor had done earlier and she received a small smile in return. A silence descended and an awkward atmosphere between the ex-lovers appeared, making them both visibly uncomfortable despite the earlier closeness.
“What happens now Cordelia?” Angel was the first to break the quiet.
“Well, um” Cordelia put her cup down, both hands absorbed the warmth to take the chill from the early morning feel. “You can see Connor whenever you want, you said you would help with his learning and stuff so we’ll work on that…”
Clearing his throat again, the vampire looked at the brunette across the table as her mind began to make arrangements for their son. “What I meant was what happens now between us?”
“Too soon, Angel. We both need a little while to get used to each other again”
“It was never soon enough between us and you know that as well as I do” Angel refused to let her back away from him, not when he’d had a taste of the one thing he thought he could never have. “You loved me once Cordelia, with everything in you”
“Five years ago” she whispered, not daring to look at the vampire for fear he would see what she trying so hard not to do.
Staring hard at the artistically carved features of the girl he’d made the mistake of letting go. He could see the fight warring on the dewy skin of her cheeks, trying so hard not to remember and at the same time trying so hard not to forget. “It maybe five years Cordelia, but you haven’t changed. Under the surface, you’re still the girl you were then” you’re still my girl.
Cordelia’s gaze snapped up to his, wondering how he could still think she was that stuck-up, self-obsessed girl she’d been back then. Hurt, disbelief and anger flashed within the hazel orbs as she stared at the vampire, daring him to slam another put down on the woman she’d become. “How…” she couldn’t think of a way to put her words in a way that wouldn’t wake her son.
“You were so passionate Cordelia” Angel’s husky male tone made her skin flush as her blood pressure slowly increased. “I owned everything about you, your heart, your mind and your passion. I know that when you’re that involved, it takes more than time to change your heart and mind. So you are the same girl underneath it all”
The vampire watched as her plush mouth parted and formed a perfect ‘O’ that showed the surprise she felt at hearing his description. A shy smile accompanied the nibbling on her lower lip as Cordelia let his words sink into her brain. It was now almost 5 am she noticed with a quick glance at the wall clock, it was doubtful Connor would be getting up anytime soon considering he settled around 2 when the last movie finished.
“Did you ever… You couldn’t have, not completely I know, but maybe you loved me back a little” she eventually spoke after a few seconds of silence. “It felt like you did” Cordelia wondered if it bothered him that when she looked at him, she saw Angelus. It was something that couldn’t be helped, Angelus was the part of him she was used too not the whole package sitting there in front of her.
“Cordelia, if you felt it then you know the answer” Angel wondered if she didn’t want anything to happen because of his returned soul. He could take better care of her and his son with the soul intact. “What about now? Do you feel anything?” his body was already reacting to the spicy, female scent that was slowly beginning to surround him.
The brunette tightly closed her legs, uselessly hoping that would help keep the arousal a secret. Cordelia felt he wanted her, but wasn’t sure if it was because of Connor. Maybe he felt obligated to be with her because she was the mother of his son. “Stop it Angel” black diamonds swept over her, taking in the female response to his male one.
From across the barricading table, Angel could see the way the cream material of her sweater curl around the shape of the hardening areolas, making his water with haunting taste of her on his tongue. Sometimes, Cordelia had tasted of strawberries and sometimes, she had tasted of vanilla; always natural and never the same. He wanted to know what flavour she would taste of now.
The change in her scent was tangible in the air, she was softer and more gentle; it aroused the man still within him. Gone was the teenage air about her, gone was the perky cheerleader attitude she sometimes had, in place of all that was a woman who had given him a son. That didn’t change anything, Angel realized, it changed everything.
Cordelia felt her body grow hot under the intense stare from the vampire’s study, she could feel the burn flushing her face turning her cheeks pink. No matter he had seen her wearing a lot less, Angel always made her feel naked. Even now, his caressing gaze seemed to be slowly removing her clothes.
Angel leaned back in the chair, shifting his thighs apart to relieve some of the pressure in between. The material of his pants pulled tight around the erection responding to the feminine arousal and the male pleasure of seeing a good body. He resisted the urge to moan deeply, resisted letting her know the effect she had on him already.
He could remember the way he would hold her back flush against his chest with one arm while his hand would keep her hips perfectly still against his. Angelus had teased himself as much as Cordelia, penetrating the hot velvet sheath with shallow, unsatisfying sex.
The pressure and pleasure would build and build until feeling those hot muscles fist his cock tight and the need to feel her climax became undeniable. Angelus whispered words crude enough to make her blush when he replaced long, drawn out love making with hard fucking; enjoying the way her gentle moans turned into loud, short screams each penetration forced from her.
Being with him again was like being on ecstasy, an addictive high that ran right through her body, making her light headed and susceptible to anything he would want to do too her. A small, barely noticeable moan escaped from her parched lips, making Angel all too aware Cordelia was effected just as much as him.
“God Angel…” the words weren’t out of her mouth before Cordelia found herself pulled steadily to her feet and enveloped tightly in the security of his arms. The momentary shock quickly wore off and she responded with equal ferocity.
His fingers fisted the material of her sweater, slipping one large hand under to soothe the heated skin with a cool touch. Angel drowned in the intoxicating scent of her, nuzzling the curls that now fell loosely around her slender shoulders and neck. The rasping of his roughened skin against the smooth surface of her back had Cordelia whimpering and moving closer to him, desperate to have him.
“God I’ve missed you baby” his breathless words floated across the skin of her neck, seconds later cool lips brushed over the delicate protective casing of her jugular. Blunt teeth bit down gently over the top of the original punctures before Angel twirled his tongue around the mark.
Cordelia fumbled with the bottom buttons of his silk shirt and placed the palms of her hands on the solid, flexing muscles of his abdomen. Her nails lightly scored his marble skin, disturbing the flawless expanse with pale red scratches. His wet lips moved hotly to her mouth, covering the softer more pliant lips with his harder, demanding mouth.
It had been so long since she’d tasted him, Cordelia reacted with a hellish passion that crushed his body to hers. Angel slid his tongue into the warm cavern, massaging, exploring and taking precedence over her. His lips manipulated the vanilla ones into a deeper, more satisfying kiss that rendered shocking physical reactions.
Cordelia’s hands unbuttoned more of his shirt, allowing her to touch and feel every part of the vampire wrapped around her. His tongue simulated what they both wanted, dipping in and out of her mouth; tasting, devouring and savouring the hot breath that filled his lungs. Angel moved his hand down, the curve of ass teased his fingers as he used his grip to push her hard into him.
“Uhh Angel!” the brunette broke the kiss, moaning loudly when his erection became firmly cradled between her burning thighs. Angel used his body to turn Cordelia round, never breaking the contact and sat her hard on the table surface. She immediately parted her legs allowing him to slid his body close to hers.
The vampire’s hands glided up the clothed body, feeling the searing heat burn his fingers through the material. “Touch me” Angel hissed his demand as his erect shaft moved deliciously over her hidden mound. Grabbing tight hold of the top of the sweater, he went to rip completely apart when she stopped him.
Cordelia scraped her nails down his broad chest, bringing blood rushing to the surface and turning the marble complexion a pale shade of crimson. Her small hand slipped past the leather belt until the solid state of his excitement filled her palm. “Want you” she curled her hand round his erection, moving slowly giving Angel groan against her mouth.
Angel fisted her top and tore it cleanly down the middle, exposing the delicious slope of her cleavage. The shape of the cream silky bra held her breasts together, accentuating the natural curves of her chest. His black gaze now rimmed with gold scanned the silk that was pulled so tightly the small contours of her hardening areolas were visible.
“I think” Angel placed his hand in the valley of her breasts, hissing when the heat made his flesh sizzle. “I think you’ll taste like vanilla” Cordelia whimpered when he pushed the silk down, revealing her naked to his hungry gaze. Leaning down, the vampire encased a dusky pink bud in a hot kiss, swirling his cool around the responsive skin.
Cordelia tightened her hold on his cock, moving in long smooth strokes that elicited warning growls that told her not to stop. Angel forced her to increase the pressure around his covered sex, praising her when she did as he asked. He continued to lave her breast with attention while using his fingers to tease the other little bud with stimulation a little on the rough side.
“Angel we, uh, have to stop” she breathed, “Oh God we have to stop”
“No!” Angel released her long enough to deny her right to say he could stop giving he pleasure. “I need you Cordelia, you’ve given me a taste and I want more”
Despite her body screaming out for his touch, Cordelia breathlessly giggled and inwardly called herself a teenager. “Not here, not now” was all she could say before needing to gasp in more oxygen. “Connor could walk in a-and not to assume we’re getting back together, but I don’t want this happening on a kitchen table”
As soon as the brunette mention his son’s name, the tide of desperate lust began to recede leaving Angel blinking in shock and awe of what they’d almost done with Connor in the next room. “You assume right Cordelia, you and my son are home now. You belong with me”
Picking up her ruined top from around her waist, Cordelia wrinkled her nose up at it before dropping it carelessly back down. “I don’t suppose I could use your shirt, could I? If Connor wakes up, I don’t want him to see me like this”
The corners of his lips curled up until Angel felt the strange sensation of a smile as he looked down at her, seeing the rapidly fading arousal fade as thoughts of their son crept through the hazy fog. Shrugging off his already opened shirt, the vampire wrapped the black silk around over her naked shoulders and took the time to caress her breasts before the touching ceased altogether.
“Thank you Angel” Cordelia peered up at him through her eyelashes wantonly, seeing a quizzical expression join the smile on his face. “What?”
“Nothing” Angel shook his head, he wasn’t thinking much of anything really just wondering about everything. A few hours ago when he had been watching Connor and Cordelia in the back yard, he’d been so certain he would never be able to be a part of the life they’d made.
He was just amazed at what a child and an amazing woman could change. Angel felt “I feel complete, like I have something worth living for”
A true Cordelia Chase smile swept across her face as she heard his words. She knew just how Angel felt. “A sofa isn’t a good place for a kid to sleep, you carry him and I’ll get his pillow and quilt”
Angel smiled again, he was going to tuck his son in and kiss him goodnight for the first time. “Then you can show me your room where I can kiss you all night”