Part 10
Kicking the ball across the floor to his dad, Connor frowned as he realised his mom had been gone an awful long time. She said that she was just going to pick the car up from the Magic Shop, see Giles about working tonight and come straight back. “Dad, when did mom say she was coming back?”
Looked like he wasn’t the only one who noticed the length of time Cordelia had been gone. Gently kicking the ball back to his son, Angel glanced at the grandfather clock he had moved to a safe corner and noticed the brunette had been gone an extra hour. “You’re mom has only gone to pick up the car and get some clean clothes, I’m sure she won’t be long”
The little boy wasn’t the only one missing Cordelia, Angel loathed letting her walk out the front entrance to get things both his son and she needed. She should have been here, with Connor and him, so much had been lost out on and any time away from either of them meant longer for him to share in their lives. He wanted to hear every story no matter how sad, happy or if it seemed unimportant, Angel wanted it all.
Leaning down to pick up the ball, Connor guessed his dad was right. “She will come back won’t she?” he threw the ball to the vampire who caught it easily in his hands. “I mean, she won’t go anywhere without us?”
Angel shook his head “No Connor, mom wouldn’t leave us and she certainly wouldn’t leave you, she loves you” he assured the little boy while irrational panic began to bubble up inside his clenching stomach. No, Cordelia had said she wouldn’t leave again, he needed to trust her but…
“She wouldn’t leave dad” Connor scoffed, that hadn’t been what he meant. “Mom wouldn’t go anyplace fun without us” what had his dad meant?
Angel berated himself for almost slipping up and causing his son unnecessary upset, the vampire gave himself a mental kick in the head. “No son, mom won’t go anywhere fun without us”
Speaking of fun places “Are you still gonna take me to the really good park tonight like you promised?” the little boy turned big puppy eyes on the vampire. “You said you would because I was too tired last night”
“Cross my heart” Angel promised and crossed the place his heart lay still inside his chest. “Are you hungry yet? I could make you an omelette” anything to take both his and his son’s mind off Cordelia’s absence. “How about some juice? I think there’s still some left” he would have to buy Faith some more orange squash, Connor and Cordelia had polished it off this morning.
Connor shook his head, “Naw dad, I’m not hungry yet. Are you hungry? I can make sandwiches” he stated proudly with a large smile that was pure Cordelia. He had his very own cutlery set, plastic of course, but his mom had taught him how to butter bread and lather it with peanut butter.
Angel found himself blinking at the idea of his five year old son making him lunch, somehow he could see it happening. An amused chuckle brought a smile to the vampire’s face as he walked over to and sat down in his chair. “No thank you son” he grinned at the little boy, “I’ll make my own lunch” when you’re not here to see me drink.
Once again picking up his ball, Connor balanced it on the top of his foot before bouncing it off his knee with an expression of total concentration, he began to count the number of bounces. “1, 2, 3, 4, 5… Aw!” he missed and his ball rolled towards the door.
“Hey, five is great” Angel pointed out, trying to make the smile come back to his son’s face. “Even I can’t do that many” he doubted he could do one, let alone five. Running a hand through his hair, the vampire let out a tired sigh and marvelled at just how energetic Connor was.
He’d also noticed some other things about his boy, Connor had exceptionally good eyesight, co-ordination, hearing and other little bits that had Angel wondering if his vampire side had caused the little boy to receive benefits. This made him curious about his son’s strength, wondering if that maybe effected too.
Connor carefully avoided the small beam of sunlight that filtered under the gap in the door as he leaned down to pick up his ball. “Dad you want to play more soccer? I promise to let you win this time”
More soccer? What was so great about soccer? Angel wondered if he could somehow train his son to like something none energetic, like listening to music or drawing or he could stake himself before anyone found that his unnatural energy resources weren’t up to par with a five year old. “Why don’t I teach you how to draw?” he suggested hopefully.
“But that’s boorriingg!” his son grouched with a frown that had Angel laughing out loud. “Unless mom was right about you being really ancient old and that you’re really an old man that looks young and has no energy and who needs a walking stick!”
Offhandedly, Angel wondered what the little boy would say if he stated he was 247 years old. Deciding against it, the dark haired vampire shook his head and watched Connor enjoy throwing it up and catching it with ease. During the short time of knowing him, Angel found his son was like a miniature version of Cordelia and couldn’t help but wonder what she had been like at that age.
He smiled at the image of a five year old little girl with long brown hair tied up in bunches sneaking out of her room late at night to steal some chocolate. Angelus had discovered that little piece of information when he had asked Cordelia if she had ever done anything bad. She had been so innocent, so good despite her flaws, before he had tainted her.
Shaking away memories of the past, Angel refocused his gaze on Connor who was now trying to spin his ball on his finger without much success. “Dad, want to play catch?” No sooner than the question had been asked then his son launched the ball towards him.
Getting up out of the chair, the vampire threw the ball back to the little boy watching as Connor nearly dropped it but only just managed to retain balance. “Good save.” The triumphant grin that was sent his way told him it had more to do with skill than luck “Do you want to be a soccer player?”
“Naw, I wanna be rock star” Connor bounced the ball before throwing it back to Angel, “Mom said that if I ask real nicely and if I’m real good and everything, Santa will bring me a drum set this year.” He looked sad for a second before shooting a glance up at his dad, “Dad, I don’t think I should tell mom that Santa isn’t real, she’d get upset… You did know Santa wasn’t real right?”
Angel’s mouth and the muscles in his jaw twitched as he tried to keep a straight face, his son looked so serious about the dilemma of not wanting to upset his mom by revealing Santa didn’t exist. “How do you know?” the vampire asked after clearing his throat.
“Kelly said she saw her dad putting the presents under her tree at Christmas time” Connor explained seriously with an expression that matched his tone. No, the little boy decided firmly, his mom would never find out that Santa didn’t exist.
“Don’t you think mom knows he doesn’t exist?” the vampire enquired, keeping a straight face was making his jaw ache. He’d never really expected to have this conversation with anyone, let alone a five year old little boy that was his son.
If he kept thinking that, he might start to believe it was real and not something brought about by a sudden wave of insanity.
Connor stated with a serious expression, his big brown eyes peered up at his father as he nibbled on his lower lip. “Santa doesn’t visit grown-ups, just kids and mom said she saw Santa when she was little. But I think it was really her dad dressed up. I don’t think we should tell her”
Angel agreed entirely. Lowering his voice to a cunning whisper, the vampire graced his son with a private smile and little wink “Me neither. When it comes to Christmas, you can dress up as Santa”
“Aw dad!” Connor shook his head, “I’m to little to be Santa silly” if his dad didn’t know that then there was something wrong. “You have to be the one to dress up as Santa and wear the big furry hat and the big red coat and the black boots.” That image was funny!
***
Buffy had paced outside the front entrance to the mansion for a while now, wringing her hands together and thinking about what the hell she was going to say to the vampire. She had gone over and over last night’s revelations in her head, the sight of Angel carrying the kid had completely knocked her for six. Then the startling news of him being a father that’s a laugh had caused her brain to shut down.
There was obviously some mistake, Angel was a vampire and vampires couldn’t have children, not unless they sired. Human children couldn’t be born to a dead man, even if he was technically the living dead.
The blonde slayer shook her head, clearing those thoughts away as she concentrated once again on the situation at hand. Cordelia was laying the blame of her pregnancy at Angel, that in itself was a downright lie. He would never sink so low as to sleep with the school whore.
Not that she had fact to prove the brunette had slept her way through Sunnydale of course, but it had been the way Cordelia had used herself to get what she wanted. Not just the lack of evidence but that was how Buffy preferred to think of her.
As a vapid whore whom she and Angel had once upon a time called Sporedelia.
No, she decided firmly, Angel was in no way the father of the kid. All thoughts were immediately banished from her head as Buffy reached out to open the front entrance to the mansion.
Doing as she always did, the slayer swung the door wide open and allowed sunshine to pour throughout the foyer of the mansion. No sooner had Buffy stepped inside only to be suddenly surrounded by the startling sound of pained cries from a child.
***
If Angel hadn’t been standing as close Connor as he had been, his son would have completely engulfed in sunlight. Thankfully, the little boy was safe and secure tucked into his father’s arms as the vampire backed into the darkest corner of the foyer quickly.
Connor had been told over and over and over again by Cordelia if something like this was ever to happen, he had to be brave and stay as calm as he could. Curling his arms between his small frame and his father’s chest, the five year old protected his hands until Angel got to a safe part of the large area.
He was trying to brave for his dad but the light was really bright, it hurt his eyes and face when the door opened. He could feel the skin covering the back of his hands stinging from where he had covered his face. Connor wished his mom was here.
“It’s alright son, it’s okay. Hush” Angel attempted to keep the furious growl ripping from his throat, his large hands held his son tightly and as securely as inhumanly possible. His gaze, darker than night, shone with a corona of gold as he focused in on the intruder, intent on vengeance.
Against his chest, the angered vampire could feel his son shaking in fear, childish tears soaked his shirt as Connor muffled his crying. If his heart worked, Angel knew it would be beating a tattoo on his ribcage. Hearing his son cry with fear was all but tearing him apart, he’d promised Cordelia to look after him and he’d failed.
He’d failed his son, Cordelia and failed as a father. Angel had been right all along, he wasn’t meant for this, didn’t deserve to have this.
“Buffy shut the God damn door!” Angel snarled at the stunned blonde who was stood looking blankly at him. “The fucking door!”
Snapping out of her shock, Buffy swung round and shut the door, leaving the large foyer in safe darkness. Her face was pale, blue eyes were wide with surprise and her hands shook with adrenalin. The sound of the sudden crying had seemed to shut down every instinct she had, making speech and movement impossible.
Pressing his lips against Connor’s wet cheeks in loving, comforting kisses, Angel noticed the red rash that the sunlight had caused. “It’s alright now baby” he cooed, his normally strong voice was shaky and unsure. “Light’s gone now” now he knew why Cordelia took medical supplies with her everywhere she went.
Buffy kept silent as she watched Angel pass her, his gaze never leaving the kid once as he took him upstairs.
Once the vampire was out of sight, the blonde finally found the will to breathe again as she sank to the floor. Her hand came up to press against her pale forehead, lips parting to gulp in oxygen and her heart racing a mile a minute.
What was Cordelia’s kid doing with Angel? Buffy’s thought process began with the one she wanted to know most of all. What the hell gave her the right to leave her kid with Angel? The brunette had to have given the vampire some kind of sob story to get him to baby-sit for her.
The only other explanation was the fact Angel really was the kid’s father and Buffy knew that couldn’t be true. She couldn’t think of any other rational explanation for why the kid would be here at the mansion when he should be with his mother.
She got up off the floor and stood waiting for him to come back down.
***
Connor’s lower lip pooched out in a pout as he dried the tears on his sleeve, peering at his dad through glassy brown eyes. The skin on the little boy’s face was dewy from crying, the normally pale complexion had only been exposed for a mere second and was slightly red.
Though he hadn’t been badly hurt by the light, it had been the fright that had caused the little boy to cry. Connor sniffled, using the back of his sleeve to wipe his nose as he watched his dad get his cream from the overnight bag.
“Dad, I don’t want the cream on” it smelled and was cold and he wasn’t hurt enough for that.
Ignoring the complaint, Angel faced his son and swallowed heavily when his gaze landed on the red tint around the little boy’s nose and cheeks. Drying tears left stains and the big brown eyes were full of receding fear as they looked back at him. The vampire searched for any amount of blame from his son and wished he found it.
“You’re getting some” the vampire had been strongly instructed by Cordelia that if any light, no matter how small, should come into contact with Connor he was to use the cream. Angel had told her there would be no need for it’s use. “There’s no use arguing”
Connor scowled deeply at his dad, watching in disgust as the large white tub was opened up and Angel came closer to him. “Urgh! Da-ad, I’m not really hurt see?” One little finger gingerly touched his face and he grimaced at the small sting the touch elicited.
“Of course you’re not” Angel’s voice was even as he knelt down in front of his son, his fingertips coated in the aqueous cream as he prepared to touch the obviously sore skin on the five year olds’ face. He had to do this, Cordelia said he had to but he didn’t want to cause Connor any discomfort.
Anymore than he already had of course. If only he’d locked the entrance then Buffy would never had walked straight inside. His own sensitive skin had been caught a little but that could wait until his son was taken care of. Right now, he didn’t matter.
“I’ll be as gentle as I can, cross my heart” Angel used all his willpower not to give into the newly forming tears in Connor’s eyes as he began to apply the cream to the affected area.
“Ouch!” the little boy grumbled though it didn’t hurt, he just didn’t like the cream.
Slowly, his face was covered in a soothing layer of paraffin mix and the redness began to fade under the healing ingredients of the medical formula. One glance from Angel had Connor lifting the backs of his hands for treatment. “You have to put the cream and bandages on my hands now dad” he instructed, his mom would be proud of him.
Grimly smiling at his son at the offered advice, Angel nodded. “Your mom told me son, you can show me how to do it” though he knew how to apply bandages, the vampire figured Connor wanted to show he could take care of himself.
“Okay, well” the knowing five year old began with a hiccup, “You have place one end at the bottom of my hand here” Connor pointed to the edge of his palm. “Than you have bring the bandage round and round and round my hand and use the tape to stick it with because I don’t like the pins”
“Like this?” Angel followed the instructions, fixing them to make it so the white protective dressing was secure and repeated the same on his son’s other hand. What kind of father am I? I let my son get hurt after three days. Connor would be better off without me, so would Cordy.
Beaming in pride, Connor closely examined his father’s first attempts and looked for ways he could make it better. His large brown eyes no longer shone with tears as he smiled childishly at his dad. Then he remembered his dad was allergic to sunlight and immediate concern took over. “The sunshine hurts you too”
The vampire peered down at his own hands, they were burnt from the light and in much worse state than his son’s but it didn’t matter. “I’ll be okay” Angel told him gruffly, hiding his hands from the little boy’s view “It doesn’t hurt”
“Have some of my cream, it’ll make your hands all better. It smells real bad and it’s real cold and it’s all gooey but mom says anything that bad has be good” Connor told him. “And mom’s always right”
A wry smile quirked Angel’s lips up as he wondered if his son’s cream would help with the already healing sunburn. Deciding to humour the five year old and see if it worked, the vampire re-opened the tub and prepared to lavish his burnt skin in the thick formula.
“Wait dad, lemme do it” Connor dipped his little fingertips into the tub before his father could say otherwise. “I’ll be real gentle, promise” he smoothed the cream over the vampire’s skin on both hands before glancing down in triumph at his work. “Cool, I think I’ll be a doctor and not a drummer”
Angel swallowed against the wave of feeling that near enough crushed his heart. His son, his little five year old son, had shown him nothing but love and kindness after he had failed him. He truly hated himself right at that moment but he vowed to make it up to Connor and Cordelia in anyway he could.
“Listen son” he began seriously, “I need to go downstairs with the lady to talk to her and I want you to be on your very best behaviour and stay up here”
“Why?” Connor asked, blinking inquisitively.
“Because I need to talk to her in private” Angel replied.
“But… Why?”
“She needs to be told off and I have to do that privately”
“Why does she need to be told off? Why do you have to do it? Doesn’t she have a mom?”
“No son” the vampire explained gently the small boy, “Her mom was very poorly and now she doesn’t have a mom.”
Connor blinked again, “Mom says that when people die they go to different places. Like the Indians go to a real big hunting place and the Christmas people go to God and live in heaven. Did that lady’s mom die?”
Angel smiled in fond memory of Joyce Summers, it was only overshadowed by how hard Buffy had seemed to take it. Even now, almost three years on the blonde slayer didn’t seem to be handling it. Not that he could blame her of course, losing your mother must be one of the hardest things to have to cope with. Just like having to cope with the fact of killing your own mother.
“Yes Connor, she did. But she’s not poorly anymore and she’ll be in heaven, just like mom said”
“That poor lady” Connor pouted, that would be horrible. Having no mom to cuddle or make you breakfast in the mornings or hot chocolate before bedtime. “She can share my mom if she wants to” he was sure she wouldn’t mind, after all it didn’t take much to make extra hot chocolate.
“I’ll be sure to tell her son” Angel made a mental note to tell Cordelia how amazing their baby boy was. “Now you be good and stay here, I’ll come get you when it’s okay to come down”
“Alright dad” leaning forward, the little boy gave the vampire a ‘mans’ hug that strictly involved no kisses. Until Angel planted one on his rounded cheek, “Aw you’re worse than mom” Connor grouched, ducking away before he got anymore.
***
At the sound of the vampire’s heavy footsteps on the stairs, Buffy spun round to place a solid blue gaze onto him. Her deceptively fragile arms were crossed defensively over her petite chest and blonde hair hung from a neat ponytail.
Angel made no effort to talk as he walked through the archway and into the back half of the mansion that led out to the garden. He was feeling almost serene, posture was relaxed, his gaze a stunning shade of deep oak and his mouth was quirking upwards. The vampire wasn’t exactly sure where this peacefulness came from, but he was enjoying it.
Just like he was enjoying the loud, rapid thumping of the slayer’s heart, just like he was enjoying the nervousness floating off of her in waves and just like he was enjoying the slight fear that hinted around the edges of the anxiety.
Buffy refused to feel the slightest bit guilty for what happened to the kid, it wasn’t her fault. How was she to know he would be in here? Not that she even gave knocking a second thought but she never had too. The slayer was about to speak when the vampire in front of her suddenly turned around to face her.
Dark oak eyes revealed nothing, expression remained calm and Angel looked as carefree as she had ever seen him be. “Do not raise your voice” he stated in a casual voice, “Say what you have to say and make it quick. My son’s mother will be back soon and I already have to explain why her baby boy has bandages on his hands”
Buffy took a deep breath and locked a serious blue gaze onto rich hypnotic ones. “I don’t even know where to start” her head moved from side-to-side as her hand pressed her forehead before she rubbed her face. “Angel this can’t be serious” she began with where her jumbled up thoughts took her mouth. “You cannot be the father of that kid”
“But I am” Angel stated simply, he wasn’t going to sugar coat anything just so she could feel better. This wasn’t about her at all, this was about Connor and Cordelia, not Buffy and the slayer didn’t like it. “And his name is Connor, not that kid”
“You’re a vampire! It’s impossible for you to have kids” the blonde returned with an expression which clearly showed how she felt at the easy acceptance of Cordelia’s kid as his own.
The vampire merely shrugged, “And yet my son exists”
An incredulous laugh escaped her bubblegum pink lips as Buffy’s blue eyes widened in sheer disbelief. How could he just believe the kid, Connor, was his son? Surely he had to know he wasn’t the father. That was just impossible. Angel”
“Buffy” Angel returned calmly, not a sign of any reaction came from him as he blatantly refused to give her what she came here for.
The slayer clenched her jaw and took a deep breath through her nose as she gave the vampire a hard stare full of ice. “Angel, this isn’t funny. You can’t let Cordelia tell you that you’re the father. You can’t let ‘Connor’ believe that lie”
“There is no lie for him to believe” he wasn’t ashamed of either his son or Cordelia and he refused to let her make him ashamed. The truth was a stark contradiction to that, he was so damn proud of his son and of how the young mother had brought him up.
Pressing the palms of her hands together, Buffy blew out a deep breath as she decided that anything she said revolving around Connor wouldn’t be listened too. “Where’s Cordelia?” it was a simple, short question spoken in a tone that carried a world of meaning behind it.
“Picking up her car from the Magic Shop then getting some clean clothes for Connor and her until she can take him home tonight” Angel’s lips quirked up a little at the thought of going to their house tonight. After the park visit of course because he had promised.
“She left you to deal with ‘Connor’ on your own when you don’t know anything about his disease?” Inwardly, Buffy knew that was probably overstepping the mark but at this point she had to try anything to get through to him. “Irresponsible don’t you think?”
It took all he had to keep the demon restrained, preventing himself from either snapping her neck or slamming his fist into her face a few times. Angel forced his body to keep the relaxed posture and the calm expression on his face.
“The only irresponsible thing Cordy has done is trust me to take care of our son. I should have locked the door, that’s now in mind for future reference. And he doesn’t have a disease, it’s a genetic disorder”
Ignoring the added comment about her use of the word disease, the petite slayer pursed her lips, not missing his point at all. “I’ve never needed to knock before, how was I supposed to know ‘your son’ was here?”
“That’s the reason the door should have been secure” Angel explained as though he hadn’t picked up on what else she was trying to say. “To stop someone from walking in unexpectedly causing an accident to a little boy like Connor, or to me”
She knew the amount of times she had openly walked into the mansion, allowing harmful sunlight to pour in, sunlight that could either cause the vampire some serious damage or worse. Buffy nodded, giving him that at least since she couldn’t deny she had done that in the past. “I get that”
Angel wondered is she would have kept doing that if the situation with his son hadn’t happened. “Next time, knock. I could be doing anything” and since Cordelia was back in his life, he meant the word anything in the literal sense.
“Don’t you think Cordelia should be here?” Buffy enquired, getting the topic off herself and back to the prior one. She didn’t want hear about all the times she’d invaded his privacy without a thought of the fact she might be interrupting. “After all, Connor is ‘her son’ and her responsibility”
“Connor is my son too, therefore also my responsibility” he remarked easily.
“But you don’t know how to take care of him because you can’t know anything about his disease. If he was my son, I wouldn’t leave him for a second in the care of a stranger”
Angel couldn’t stop himself from visibly bristling at the words. Buffy didn’t have a damn idea on what she would do if Connor was her son. “I’m not a stranger to Cordy, I’m her son’s father and if she can’t trust me to look after him for an hour, who can she trust?”
“That’s not my point” she debated, trying to keep the frustration she felt towards him right now out of her voice and off her face. “My point is Cordelia was so quick to leave her own son in order to do something she wanted to do”
“She went to get clothes for the son she selfishly and carelessly left with his father”
“Right” Buffy pursed her lips again, “How long has she been gone? An hour? Two?”
Angel raised his eyebrow at the blonde who was trying to find fault with Cordelia’s leaving Connor with him. “Why are you trying to find fault with Connor being left with me?”
“Because you can’t see that Cordelia has already started taking advantage of you” Buffy snapped a little, not really caring if she sounded angry and bitter. She had a right to be angry and bitter right now. “She hasn’t even been back for a week and already she has you wrapped around her little finger, willing to do anything she asks”
Angel kept his gaze steady as he inwardly seethed at the crap she was trying to pull with him. “Where Connor is concerned yes, I will do anything she asks because I know it’s for his best interests”
“You trust her that much?” Buffy deadpanned.
“Yes”
“Well” the blonde sighed as she changed the subject to something a little more personal to her. “Cordelia said Connor is five, right? If he’s your son then that means you cheated on me with her”
“There’s a lot more to it than that Buffy” Angel commented seriously, still not giving her any kind of reaction as that would only give her satisfaction that she was still able to get something out of him. “Don’t go throwing accusations around when you don’t have any of the facts”
Blue orbs gazed at him, encasing him in sheer ice. “You have a son who is five years old” Buffy began with the things Angel claimed as fact. “Five years ago, we were together and in love. Now, it comes out that you have a son to someone else, Cordelia Chase no less, and you expect me to believe you didn’t go behind my back?”
“Either you’re not Connor’s father or you did have an affair” she stated matter-of-fact. “Which is it? Either way, one of you is lying and I’m guessing it’s her because I don’t believe that you would lower yourself to sleep with that vapid whore”
“Cordelia Chase is as far from being a vapid whore as you can get” he couldn’t stop the growl that accompanied his defence. “I’m confused here” Angel’s handsome face showed the confusion as he took in the blonde’s heated words and ignored everything but the insult to his son’s mother. “Isn’t a vapid whore someone who sleeps around? Goes with a guy on the first date?”
“The definition you’re looking for is called Cordelia”
“Didn’t you sleep with that guy, Parker was it, on the first date?” He’d meant it when he said that he’d had enough of being talked down to. He refused to stand around and listen to Buffy insult Cordelia or Connor at all. The little boy who had so kindly offered to share his mother with the blonde didn’t deserve to be insulted and neither did the strong, young woman who had raised his son to be a loving and caring child.
Buffy’s face tightened as her eyes grew thunderous, her mouth turned into a grim smile as regret and shame crossed her petite features. “That was a mistake Angel and you know it. I didn’t ask to be used like that, I regret what happened with Parker everyday”
“And Cordy didn’t ask to get pregnant by me” Angel spoke truthfully, he still wasn’t sure how they had been able to conceive but how or why didn’t matter. Not to him and not to the mother of his son. Connor had been born and he was the only thing that mattered, him and Cordelia both mattered. “Vampires are supposed to be infertile, I’m sure Cordy didn’t expect Connor to happen”
“At least we agree on something” it looked like the vampire wasn’t as clueless as he appeared. “If you know that you’re infertile then how come you’re taking the blame for Connor?”
“Operative word being supposed”
She wasn’t getting anywhere with him, she couldn’t get through the fantasy Cordelia had painted for Angel through her kid. Buffy knew all Angel wanted was to be normal, be a part of humanity and having a son gave him part of what he wanted. “If you weren’t infertile then how come you didn’t get me pregnant?” What was she upset about? The fact Cordelia Chase proclaimed to have his child and she didn’t really irked the slayer.
Angel shrugged, “I don’t know just like I don’t know how my son was born” the chances of conception happening on the first go more often than not didn’t occur. He hadn’t slept with Cordelia just the once, it had been over and over and over again. The weekends when there had been no school for her the next day had been spent in nothing less than bliss.
“Shouldn’t the fact that you don’t know how he was born tell you something?” Buffy stared up at the dark haired vampire, pleading with him to see sense and how he was being used by the brunette to play dad for her kid. “If you’re the father and you don’t know then how am I expected to understand?”
“You’re not expected to understand anything since you don’t even know the half of it”
“Then tell me, I deserve to know”
The father shook his head, denying her quest for answers “Not yet, not until both Cordy and I are ready to give the answers you want”
Why was he being so frustrating? Why wasn’t he telling her what she wanted to know? Why was he putting Cordelia before her? Why was he acting like she didn’t matter to him?
Buffy bit back her yell of frustration as she snapped blue orbs away from his impartial face and away from the expression she could never read. “You sleep with her behind my back and yet you want to wait until your mistress is ready before you tell me what I have a right to know?” There was so much subtext in the one simple sentence, so many insults towards the brunette in that one word.
“A mistress is a woman who has an affair with a married man” Angel divulged on the meaning of the descriptive the slayer had used for Cordelia. “I didn’t think we were married back then”
“We were still together. You remember our relationship Angel, I know you do” Buffy’s voice was low and thick with emotion as the memories of her time with the vampire came rushing back with the way the conversation was going. “Yes but we were still in love and if you did sleep with her behind my back then as far as I’m concerned, she is no better than a mistress”
“If I did sleep with her behind your back, then what does that make me?” he asked lightly, she had so much to say about Cordelia being the bad in all of this but what did she have to say about his part?
“The way I see it I’m no better than Cordy, if anything I’m worse for allowing her to lead me astray” Angel found his words particularly amusing considering it had been him who had done the leading not the other way around.
Buffy noticed the quirking of his lips as a smile began to form, “You think this is funny? You think going behind my back with her amusing?” Without realising, her voice had risen in volume and anger.
He resisted the urge to shut her up anyway possible, this wasn’t something he wanted to talk about when his five year old son was just upstairs. “Keep your voice down Buffy, Connor’s upstairs and to answer your question, no it wouldn’t be amusing if I had gone behind your back with Cordy”
“If you never cheated on me with her then how come you’re the father of a five year old?”
“If and when Cordy and I are ready to divulge the sordid little details of our adulterous affair, then you’ll get your answers” Angel refused to say anything to his ex-girlfriend at all. What had happened between Cordelia and Angelus, himself, was a private, intimate secret that neither wanted to be tarnished anymore than it already had been.
Shaking her head, Buffy down right refused to let him off the hook without a fight. “You were obviously a part in her leaving town, was it your idea for her to leave? Hide the fact you got her pregnant? If he’s even yours, which I still don’t believe”
Angel tensed at the way she made it all sound, twisting the situation anyway she saw fit in order to get the answers she thought she was owed. “I don’t care if you believe I fathered Connor or not; I know it’s true, so does Cordy and my son. As long as they believe what’s true, then it doesn’t matter to me what you believe”
“Did you get her to leave town?”
“I let her walk away yes, but I didn’t tell her to leave” Angel simply responded with as close to fact as he could without giving anything away.
Buffy stood in front of the vampire in silence as she contemplated the words he had used, trying to piece everything together so she got some form of answers. “You let her walk away, what did you mean by that?”
“Exactly that, I let her walk away from me” Angel cursed himself for the millionth time for doing that. If only he’d called her back, all it would have taken was three simple words. Don’t go Cordelia, that was all and she would have stayed.
“You make it sound like you didn’t want her to leave”
“I didn’t”
There wasn’t much she could say to that. Glancing around the overgrown garden, Buffy couldn’t help but wonder if she had ever been here, standing where she herself was standing now. The thought of Cordelia Chase in his bed with him, his hands covering her body was enough to make hatred bubble up in her stomach.
It was disgusting to think about, Angel and Cordelia Chase, the preppy May Queen and spoilt bitch extraordinaire having sex. No, it wouldn’t have happened, it couldn’t have happened but here he was saying in no uncertain terms that it did.
“What was she like?” Buffy returned her ice cold blue eyes to the silent vampire, shamelessly enquiring about the brunette’s ability in bed. “Pouting lips, heaving bosom? God knows she has plenty of that” acid dripped from her tongue.
Angel wondered how long she was planning to spend trying to get answers she wasn’t going to get until they were ready to be given. “You want the details of my sex life with Cordy? Why? So you can make it sound like that’s all it was?”
The slayer’s gaze never changed, the ice never leaving the blue orbs. “It would have been just sex with her, nothing more” she told him, refusing to listen or believe otherwise. “It wouldn’t have been like it was for us”
“It wasn’t sex between Cordy and I” the vampire was crystal clear on that, his voice never wavering unsurely. Dark oak eyes warmed as his own erotic memories began to surface from the secure place in his mind. “But that isn’t any of your business Buffy so stop asking”
Her jaw dropped to the floor as she spoke in an astonished tone that described exactly how she felt at being told it was none of her business. “Not my business? Excuse me if I think my boyfriend going behind my back is my business”
“Fine” Angel stated with a low growl, “If you want the details of it then you better be sure you know what it is you’re asking.” God, he could tell her in vivid detail where, when and how he had took Cordelia. Could tell her each and every time he had made her body burn with orgasm and could tell her all about the one time she had gotten him to beg for it…
The muscles in his jaw twitched under the intense pressure needed to keep his mouth shut, denying her what she asked of him. Angelus chest rose and fell with deep, controlled breaths as he kept silent. Her blunt teeth softly bit his stomach, brushing her tongue over the bite before moving further up his hardened body.
Cordelia captured a small, dark brown male nipple between her teeth and bit down, sending a blast of pained pleasure straight to his already excited state. “Say it and I’ll give you more”
“Bitch” Angelus’ voice was low, carrying a deadly undertone that matched the ferocious fury blazing in his midnight eyes. He was so fucking hard, having been whipped into a frenzy with teasingly soft, little licks and touches on his entire body only to deny him release.
Her breasts teased his chest while the ends of her hair brushed down over her shoulders to tickle the skin on his arm. Everything added to the onslaught of sensation his body was under. Hot and wet, her body teased his with penetration as his cock became nestled against her core.
“Ah, ah, ah” Cordelia’s voice was light and airy as she drew his lower lip into her mouth, sweeping her hot, wet tongue across the drying mouth. Biting down, the vampire’s body vibrated with a warning growl as he clenched his fingers tight around her upper thighs. “That’s not the magic word”
Angelus’ expression was a show of hatred, rage and lust as he was made to beg for what he wanted. “Please”
“Please what?” Cordelia scraped her core over his shaft as she moved down his body.
All he wanted was her mouth around his cock, sucking him into oblivion. The vampire was in hell, the flames burned from the inside out and it wouldn’t stop until he begged. “Please, use your mouth” his voice was slightly high with the force of restraint.
“Good boy”
Angel snapped out of the memory to find himself shaking, hard and begging for it all over again. Buffy was still stood in front of him, her blue eyes wide as she observed the vampire drift off to somewhere far away where she couldn’t reach him. Her eyes were heating up rapidly as the vampire’s unnecessary breathing began to deepen.
“Thinking about the details?” Buffy’s voice was a shadowed husky whisper of it’s usual femininity, “Or are you thinking about our details?”
The vampire’s self-induced arousal instantly began to recede with the realisation of two things came to mind. One being his son was still upstairs and two Cordelia wasn’t here to get the payback he’d promised for both times. “My thoughts are private” Angel responded praying the brunette would hurry up and come home, “As is my love life with Cordy”
Buffy’s mouth perked up in a sardonic smile as she retaliated against the insinuation that the vampire was already involved in a love with the brunette. “She’s been back less than a week and already she’s making a play for you” she gave a quiet laugh. “And you say she isn’t vapid”
Angel’s gaze narrowed at her, he had stopped counting the number of times the slayer had deemed Cordelia a whore and it was really getting on his nerves. “Buffy, please don’t make Cordy out to be a whore, it does nothing but make me angry” the calm way he spoke gave the slayer chills. There was nothing on his face or in his eyes that told her he was angry.
“Why not? It’s the truth isn’t it?” Buffy shot out at the vampire, having had enough of him not doing anything but defending the brunette and not giving her any signs to how he was feeling. Not that she ever knew how she was feeling but that would be something right she could do with right about now. “You have no idea how many guys she had in school and how many guys she had when she left!”
He knew how many Cordelia had slept with before and after high school. “Yes I do” Angel snapped at her, his arms uncrossing and dropping to his sides where his large hands curled up into hard fists in an attempt not fight with his son upstairs. “Cordy has only ever had one lover and that was me”
“I suppose you believed her when she told you she was miss innocent” Buffy stated with a shake of her head. The brunette cheerleader had flirted and dated all the way through high school, she’d heard the rumours from some of her dates about how great a lay she was. “I heard the rumours Angel but you can be forgiven for believing her because you didn’t go to school”
Angel laughed, actually laughed a full-on genuinely male laugh at her words. “I’m a vampire Buffy” at one point, he had assumed Cordelia was a girl who slept around but he’d berated himself over and over for that judgement. She’d been so tight when he’d taken her virginity she’d bled. “I know an innocent girl”
“I’m sorry but innocent and Cordelia don’t belong on the same page. You never saw the way she was in high school” the slayer snapped at him. “She…”
“She what Buffy?” Angel snapped right back, “Flirted with the football team she cheered for? Dated a few boys? I seem to remember you dating a few guys back in school too, does that mean you slept with them?”
Buffy stared at him, not really believing he was being like this with her. “Don’t you dare put me on the same level as her, I’ve never screwed someone else’s boyfriend” the blonde was positively seething with rage at the way Angel was making her out to be. “Yes I dated guys in high school that doesn’t mean I slept with them”
The vampire smirked as she stated his point clearly and precisely. Raising his eyebrow at his ex-girlfriend, Angel cleared his throat and spoke, wanting to end the conversation before it got any further. “Why is it that Cordelia can’t date without having sex but you can?”
“Because she likes the attention”
“Doesn’t every teenage girl like attention? Isn’t that the very reason why they flirt and date in the first place?”
She was getting nowhere and fast. Angel was talking as though Cordelia was some kind of saint or something, which she certainly wasn’t. He seemed to be blind to her faults and not realise just how much he was tangled around her little finger. Buffy was a little more than angry, she was so far beyond angry she couldn’t see straight for the rage was blurring her vision.
Straightening her body, Buffy took a deep calming breath as she prepared to launch into a speech that gave the vampire a detailed description of just who Cordelia Chase was when Angel stopped her before she could start.
“Don’t even think about it Buffy” Angel stated warningly when he saw the expression he knew so well cross her face. “I won’t let you come into my home and insult the mother of my son anymore than you already have. You’ll get your answers when Cordy and I are ready, not before. Now I strongly suggest you leave before you say anything you’ll regret”
“You’re kicking me out?”
“I never invited you in so I don’t think my suggesting you leave can be classed as kicking you out”
“Fine” Buffy stated simply, “Don’t say I didn’t try to get you to see sense. I hope you enjoy playing happy families with a son that probably isn’t yours.”
Angel couldn’t stop the near-blissful smile that turned the corners of his lips upwards at the thought of being part of a family, his own family. Something he’d never really had in his life. “I’m sure I will, thank you”
At those final words, Buffy gave a slight nod as she shook her head in dismay and turned to leave through the foyer. There wasn’t anything she could say that Angel would listen to, talking to the vampire would only be a waste of breath. He would learn through his own mistakes.
“Go out this way, I don’t want another accident like earlier” Angel nudged his head towards the exit through the overgrown garden. He stood in the same spot as he had been for the last God knows how long, waiting until the slayer had left with a loud slamming of the large gate near the back of the garden.
If Buffy had gone through the foyer, she would have walked directly into Cordelia who had arrived back around ten minutes ago.